1 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: Hey, hurdlers, Emily Abadi. Here you are listening to five 2 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: Minute Friday. The gist. I offer a story, I share 3 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: a thought prompt to take you into the weekend, then 4 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: offer up my highlights of the week. My content picks 5 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 1: things that I am interested in, things that I really 6 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 1: feel like you should know about. I'll be honest, this 7 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: week felt entirely super productive and also like very stalled, 8 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: as if everything I wanted to do took double as long, 9 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: but I still somehow managed to get a lot done. 10 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: Anybody else feel that way? Anyway? This week we're five 11 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: Minute Friday. I am talking about appreciation. You know, I 12 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: went to Summer Camp for fifteen years of my life. 13 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: I feel like such a nerd when I say that. 14 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 1: Sometimes I was there from ages six to twenty one. Casually, 15 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 1: of course, from six to fifteen I was a camper, 16 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,479 Speaker 1: and from sixteen to twenty one I was on staff 17 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: as a counselor and then a division head and then 18 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: as a programming director. And so at Summer Camp, when 19 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 1: you were on staff, you always went a week early 20 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: for orientation and to get the camp ready and do 21 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: all the logistical stuff. And I remember that part of 22 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: the orientation on the very first day, we would always 23 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: file into the mess hall and go through this helpful 24 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: like pamphlet, so to speak. And in the pamphlet it 25 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 1: covered a lot of stuff, literally, everything from emergency precautions 26 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: to navigating tough situations with campers. There was this list 27 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: of phrases that were supposed to help counselors and superiors 28 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: communicate more clearly and effectively. And I'll never forget in 29 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: one of those orientations, it was in the summer of 30 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: two thousand and eight, and we were going through this 31 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: pamphlet and someone highlighted one of the phrases, which was 32 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: I appreciate you. And I remember at the time like 33 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: we all laughed because this phrase sounded really stiff, right, 34 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 1: and a little odd. I was nineteen, and thinking back 35 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,239 Speaker 1: on that time, I'm not all that sure if someone 36 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: ever said that phrase to me, just like, point blank, 37 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: like that up until that point in my life, and 38 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: so in the months and the years that followed, I 39 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 1: always thought about that moment and that phrase, and it 40 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: stuck with me, and with time I started to use 41 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 1: it a lot in my regular rotation, especially in recent years, 42 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:49,639 Speaker 1: with friends and colleagues and family, just period. There's a 43 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: reason for the story. I'm going to bring it to 44 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: the now. So basically, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, 45 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: a lot of my good friends are leaving New York, 46 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: and so because of this, I've been dedicating some of 47 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 1: my free time to working on existing relationships that I 48 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: have with friends that are here in New York to stay, 49 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: if maybe only for now, and going on what I'll 50 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: call friend dates, so to speak. I've been going to 51 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: dinners and going running and having coffee that kind of stuff, 52 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:21,800 Speaker 1: of course, all safe and socially distanced. Anyway, Like I said, 53 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: some of these friends have had for a while, but 54 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 1: they've been more casual relationships without a lot of one 55 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: on one time and other friendships. They're newer, but we've 56 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: known of each other for a while and we just 57 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: decided one of us decided to reach out, whatever the 58 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:40,839 Speaker 1: situation might be. On each and every friend date, I've 59 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: had to get super vulnerable, and I recognize that in 60 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: order to grow and in order to foster these new 61 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: relationships and take them to where I hope that they go, 62 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: that's vital. During all of these friend dates, both parties 63 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: definitely came forward and admitted that they were struggling with 64 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 1: some of the same things we would agree about, tough 65 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: stuff about men and friendships and feeling lonely and hopes 66 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: and expectations for the year and years to come. And 67 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: literally after leaving each and every friend date, I followed 68 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 1: up to tell each and everyone the same important phrase, 69 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: I appreciate you to be honest, it's really freaking scary. 70 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: Friend dating is scary. You know, you're nervous to open 71 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,279 Speaker 1: up to new people, knowing that they could also leave, 72 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: and also knowing that they may not share after this 73 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: experience the same feeling or attitude about getting closer. I 74 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 1: also recognize that at the same time, that vulnerability again 75 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: is important to establishing that true relationship that I'm looking for. 76 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,039 Speaker 1: And again, I'm not looking for like twenty new best friends. 77 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: I'm just seeking to affirm some good relationships and feel 78 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: really secure here in New York. So that means that 79 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: I have to accept the risk of getting vulnerable. So 80 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: I'll bring it full circle this past Monday, I had 81 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 1: gone on a friend date on Sunday night, and so 82 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: I woke up on Monday morning. I'm writing in my 83 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: journal it's like just before six in the morning, as 84 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 1: I do. And I looked up from the page and 85 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: I saw the sun on the avenue and I just 86 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 1: had this moment where I took this deep sigh and 87 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: I wrote it down, I appreciate you. And that wasn't 88 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: for someone else. That was for me, because I think 89 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: that although it's scary, and although it can feel like 90 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: a lot, I am making a lot of positive progress 91 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: right now. And I am at a point where I'm 92 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: willing to put myself out there. I'm willing to open 93 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: myself up to the new and you know what, I 94 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: think that's pretty damn special. My prompt for you this week, 95 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: are you willing to show up and be seen when 96 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 1: you can't control the outcome? Again, are you willing to 97 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: show up and be seen when you can't control the outcome? 98 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:20,039 Speaker 1: If not, what's stopping you? Highlights of the week. Links 99 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: to all this stuff can be found in the episode 100 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: description in the show notes. Listen very appropriate here Oprah's 101 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 1: Super Soul Conversations with Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability. 102 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 1: Wednesday morning of this week, it was absolute perfection here 103 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: in New York, and I decided to walk with my 104 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 1: coffee over to the East River and I listened to 105 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: this episode of the podcast while I was doing that, 106 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 1: and it really resonated with me, especially because again, this 107 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: idea of vulnerability is something I keep going back to 108 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: time and time again, especially as of late. In the episode, 109 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 1: Brene talks about the myths of vulnerability. She explains why 110 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: vulnerability means being truthful to who we are, and she 111 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: also offers up examples of how to integrate vulnerability into 112 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: your everyday life. Ten out of ten would recommend check 113 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: out read Jerry Seinfeld. So you think New York is dead? 114 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: I'm getting pretty New York centric here in this episode 115 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 1: of Five Minute Friday. But this article was circulating this week, 116 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: and I would be surprised if you have injected out already. 117 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: I mean, someone every day somewhere is writing some sort 118 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,240 Speaker 1: of love letter or like I'm leaving New York essay. 119 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 1: I just appreciated this for what it is as someone 120 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: that's sticking it out here. He wrote in there you 121 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: think Rome is going away to London, Tokyo, the East Village, 122 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: They're not. They change, they mutate, they reform because greatness 123 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: is rare, and the true greatness that is New York 124 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: City is beyond rare. Listen this week an album I 125 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: just cannot get enough of Chapter two by Juke Ross. 126 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,239 Speaker 1: I saw a friend post this on Instagram last week, 127 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: and so I checked it out and I have had 128 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: it on repeat ever since. The acoustic tracks, specifically my 129 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: favorites are Drifting Apart and someone to Die for. So 130 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: many feels, so many feels. Donate this week Justice for 131 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: Jacob Blake. It's been heavy this week. I'm not going 132 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: to get into exactly what's going on to Kenosha here. 133 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: I'll put a link in the show notes where you 134 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: can click on over and read all about it. But 135 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: a lot of people are hurting right now. And Jacob 136 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: Blake's mother set up this go fundme to help his 137 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: family navigate medical expenses and pay for grief counseling, among 138 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: other financial burdens. And if you have the means, I 139 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: definitely definitely encourage you to click on over there. And 140 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 1: the last thing to talk about this week if you 141 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: are interested in this coming Tuesday's hurdle session Handling Hurdle Moments. 142 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: There are a few spots left, and I would love 143 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 1: for you to join this interactive workshop. It's a little 144 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: different than the other hurdle sessions in which for those 145 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: you can certainly purchase and buy after the fact. This 146 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: is an interactive workshop, which means that if you are 147 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 1: free on Wednesday night and Wednesday night only, then you 148 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: can take this particular session a little more insight into 149 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 1: what it is. It's about showing up to challenge, right. 150 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I get emails every single day from listeners 151 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:30,719 Speaker 1: navigating their own hurdle moments, and those can look very different, right, 152 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,959 Speaker 1: from injuries and breakups to job shifts and family troubles. 153 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 1: And as lonely as it may feel to go through 154 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,199 Speaker 1: these hard times, the fact is that you are never 155 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: alone in whatever challenge you may be going through. So 156 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: this interact to small group workshop it covers how to 157 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,439 Speaker 1: show up to the unexpected with grace and emerge from 158 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:52,079 Speaker 1: those hurdle moments with a deeper understanding of self. I 159 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,680 Speaker 1: would love for you to join me if you can't 160 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: make it this Wednesday, but are interested in taking the 161 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 1: Handling Hurdle Moments session. I will be off it once 162 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 1: a month going forward. It makes me so excited and 163 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: I'm just really looking forward to what this unlocks for 164 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,679 Speaker 1: the hurdle community. And that's it for this week. If 165 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 1: you have any feedback, comments, concerns, questions. You love what 166 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: you're listening to, I want to hear all of it. 167 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: Reach out to me over on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, at 168 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast, at Emily Body. If you have a hurdle 169 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: moment of your own to share, or just want to 170 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: say hi, it's Emily at hurdle dot us. Another hurdle conquered. 171 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.