Speaker 1: Hello, while Hi.
Speaker 2: What is your name?
Speaker 1: Hey, my name's Ray. How's your Saturday?
Speaker 3: So far?
Speaker 2: My Saturday is going fine. I'm in the I'm always
Speaker 2: having an existential crisis. You know, do you ever have those.
Speaker 1: All the time? What's your crisis about?
Speaker 2: Well, it's just like I don't know what the point
Speaker 2: is of like doing anything. I know this sounds really depressing,
Speaker 2: but it's like I don't know. I'm gonna tell a
Speaker 2: story real quick. I'm started. I'm gonna start. I'm having
Speaker 2: more fun actually now talking over callers and giving my thoughts.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna do that to you right now. There's
Speaker 2: this guy so I used to be I still am.
Speaker 2: I'm really into competitive Super Smash Brothers Melee. You familiar
Speaker 2: with Super Smash Brothers. Yeah, And there's this guy I
Speaker 2: think about all the time. He's a player. He's a
Speaker 2: professional Super Smash Brothers player. His name is Hungry Box,
Speaker 2: and he's been playing professional Super Smash Brothers Melee for
Speaker 2: like fifteen years something crazy like that. I don't know
Speaker 2: if it's exactly fifteen years, but whatever. And he's been
Speaker 2: like he hasn't been like number one the whole time,
Speaker 2: but for at least like seven, six, five years he
Speaker 2: was number one. He was the best player of all time, okay,
Speaker 2: and he's like his whole he's a very competitive guy,
Speaker 2: and he just he always wants to win the game.
Speaker 2: And I saw I was watching a video of him
Speaker 2: winning a tournament from like eleven years ago or something
Speaker 2: like that, and when he wins the tournament, he pops off.
Speaker 2: He jumps out of his chair in excitement because he
Speaker 2: won the tournament. He's like so amped. He wants it
Speaker 2: so bad to win this tournament. He wants it so badly.
Speaker 2: And then I watched the video from like six months
Speaker 2: ago of him winning a tournament, and when he wins
Speaker 2: the tournament, just as he did eleven years ago, he
Speaker 2: pops off. He is filled with emotion. He's so happy
Speaker 2: that he won the tournament. He wanted it so bad.
Speaker 2: And I think about this guy often just because, like
Speaker 2: I guess, I don't understand this thing of like, after
Speaker 2: being number one for eleven years, how do you still
Speaker 2: give a shit? You know? How do you still care
Speaker 2: so much about winning after you've won? I mean, this
Speaker 2: guy's won, you know, a hundred of these tournaments and
Speaker 2: he still wants to win so badly every time. I guess,
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't understand, you know, how does that
Speaker 2: deep how does that desire stay so palpaable for years?
Speaker 2: And I'm thinking about this because I'm trying to figure
Speaker 2: out in my own life, like what I give a
Speaker 2: shit about, like what I care about, and I have
Speaker 2: certain things that I've cared about for many years, and
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I don't. I don't know how I
Speaker 2: can see myself caring about this, you know, into my thirties, forties, fifties, sixties,
Speaker 2: you know. And I'm like, is that is How is
Speaker 2: that how life is supposed to be? Or are you
Speaker 2: supposed to kind of pick your things that you give
Speaker 2: a shit about? Like you do you understand what I'm
Speaker 2: saying right now?
Speaker 1: Definitely? Like how do you keep the fire burning?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: I had this conversation with someone the other day actually,
Speaker 1: and the way that he described it is like growth
Speaker 1: can kind of come through in different ways. As long
Speaker 1: as you keep growing, it doesn't really matter how so,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes it's good to take a break in
Speaker 1: the thing that's no longer you know, on fire for
Speaker 1: you and just kind of grow in a different direction.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I just I just hopped up to Sorry, I
Speaker 2: just hopped up to turn off a space heater.
Speaker 4: You.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you've been experiencing this in your life. Well
Speaker 2: how you? How have you reinvented yourself? How have you
Speaker 2: done this?
Speaker 1: Well? I, I guess in terms of my career, I
Speaker 1: have been really questioning if I still also if I
Speaker 1: still care about it. But I've been forced to kind
Speaker 1: of take a different direction in my career because of
Speaker 1: my personal life. And I think with a lot of
Speaker 1: things that have been going on in my personal life,
Speaker 1: it's it's become impossible to care about my professional life
Speaker 1: in the same way. You know, I think different areas
Speaker 1: of our life can kind of drain a lot of
Speaker 1: energy out of us make it harder to perform in
Speaker 1: other areas.
Speaker 2: So tell me what is going on in your personal
Speaker 2: life is that has made you care less about the
Speaker 2: professional life?
Speaker 1: Well, two years ago, I got married to a stranger
Speaker 1: on a girl's trip. I went to a small country
Speaker 1: in Central America with some of my girls and had
Speaker 1: a love at first sight experience. I've never experienced it
Speaker 1: before in my life, and I think in some way
Speaker 1: I thought it was kind of like it didn't really
Speaker 1: matter if I got married to this person, but I
Speaker 1: never felt those feelings before, so I just went for it.
Speaker 1: And there were a lot of people in my life,
Speaker 1: you know, telling me, probably shouldn't do this, what if
Speaker 1: he's like a serial killer or something, And I didn't
Speaker 1: listen to them because I was thinking, like, the chances
Speaker 1: of him being like a serial killer or some crazy
Speaker 1: person are are there.
Speaker 3: But not that high, you know.
Speaker 1: I yes, I made I meet a lot of strangers
Speaker 1: all the time, and I was less afraid of it
Speaker 1: than I should have been. But he turned out to
Speaker 1: be a total psychopath. Actually, uh.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: At a certain point, I went to live with him
Speaker 1: in that country and it was okay, but I got
Speaker 1: really bad feeling about it. So I came back to
Speaker 1: the US where I live, and he snuck into the
Speaker 1: country illegally. I came here, and the situation just got
Speaker 1: really abusive, really bad. In September of last year, he
Speaker 1: was arrested for strangling me. So I led to a
Speaker 1: bunch of you know, court cases or police investigations. The
Speaker 1: FEDS got involved, I got the FEDS reached out to me.
Speaker 1: So it was just so all consuming of my life
Speaker 1: and trying to figure out how to keep myself safe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I've reached this point. He was finally caught because
Speaker 1: he was released on bail for the strangulation and just
Speaker 1: went on the run. So he was finally caught, and
Speaker 1: he's in a detention facility very far away from me
Speaker 1: now pending deportation. But yeah, I'm definitely in this place,
Speaker 1: like I don't even know what I want to do
Speaker 1: with my life.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I came in so crazy and hot, and now this
Speaker 1: kind of left to pick up the pieces and try
Speaker 1: to figure out what I actually want.
Speaker 2: So where did where did you go in Central America?
Speaker 2: Where you met this guy? Believe belieze? And how long
Speaker 2: were you there for?
Speaker 1: Uh, for the Girls Tripper. I guess like maybe two weeks,
Speaker 1: but then I came How did you?
Speaker 2: How did you meet this guy?
Speaker 1: He was our tour guide for like a boat tour.
Speaker 1: They have a great barrier reef out there.
Speaker 3: I actually met him before the tour.
Speaker 1: It's so weird. We didn't really say that much to
Speaker 1: each other. It was just I had an overwhelming It's
Speaker 1: felt like everything exploded in my body when I saw him.
Speaker 1: It's so weird to talk about. I've never had an
Speaker 1: experience like that before or since, And he described the
Speaker 1: same thing. But yeah, and that we just kind of
Speaker 1: once we did start talking, we became inseparable.
Speaker 2: M And so you went back to Belize how soon
Speaker 2: after the trip?
Speaker 1: Just a couple of weeks after?
Speaker 2: And do you not have a job or anything that
Speaker 2: you like? Did you? Did you quit your job? Did
Speaker 2: you not have any place that needed your attention to
Speaker 2: be there?
Speaker 1: I did have a job. I eventually I quit that job,
Speaker 1: which I also very much regret doing. It was a
Speaker 1: very crazy, impulsive decision. I think I was also kind
Speaker 1: of growing tired of the life that I had in
Speaker 1: the US, so it was appealing to escape to another place.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: So you got married to this guy? How soon after
Speaker 2: you met him?
Speaker 1: A couple weeks after I met him?
Speaker 2: And why did you decide to get married? Why not
Speaker 2: just hang out?
Speaker 1: Well? I actually thought about it. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: either going to have to go home and just never
Speaker 1: talk to this guy again, just let it stay there,
Speaker 1: or I have to really commit to this happening.
Speaker 3: I think he.
Speaker 1: Also really drove that idea into my head, like I
Speaker 1: had to if I wanted to make something happen with him.
Speaker 1: I had to commit one hundred percent or I had
Speaker 1: to just leave it behind me. He was heavily pushing
Speaker 1: or marriage, which should have been a huge red flag.
Speaker 2: How old are you and how old is he?
Speaker 1: I am twenty seven, he's twenty six, okay, and at
Speaker 1: the time I was twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: What'd your girls think about this? Did they tell you
Speaker 2: not to do it? After kind of being the only
Speaker 2: other people who knew anything about this guy?
Speaker 1: They actually really liked him. At first. I didn't get
Speaker 1: any you know, strong, don't do it messages from them,
Speaker 1: but other friends of mine at home and in my family,
Speaker 1: of course, we're we're not happy about it, and told
Speaker 1: me that I shouldn't do it. But the girls on
Speaker 1: the trip were weirdly pretty supportive.
Speaker 2: And so the plan was just to, you know, abandon
Speaker 2: all your life in America and move to Belize. What
Speaker 2: was it in America going on that was making you
Speaker 2: so sick of being there that you wanted to just
Speaker 2: hail Mary over to Belize.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if I really hated America.
Speaker 1: I had a pretty comfortable life here. I think I
Speaker 1: was just it was starting to feel monotonous and I
Speaker 1: had such what I felt like was such an exciting,
Speaker 1: appealing opportunity to leave the country and live a different
Speaker 1: kind of life. I think I just thought that the
Speaker 1: idea of something completely different really made me want to
Speaker 1: try it out.
Speaker 2: And how long did you stay in Belize? Married to
Speaker 2: this guy?
Speaker 1: For a couple months? Maybe two months?
Speaker 2: Okay? And were you living at his house? Were you
Speaker 2: living with his family?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a place together.
Speaker 2: Did you have a job there? Did you like what?
Speaker 2: I guess? What were your plans for being there outside
Speaker 2: of just being with this guy.
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 1: I was considering getting a job I never did. I
Speaker 1: looked into a couple opportunities, but the pay was it
Speaker 1: was pretty much nothing, and I actually had some bills
Speaker 1: in the US I had to take care of. So
Speaker 1: I realized pretty quickly I couldn't like, there was no
Speaker 1: way I could really take care of myself with any
Speaker 1: kind of job, in believe, and he wasn't making enough
Speaker 1: money to even take care of you know, our our
Speaker 1: bills and believes. So I considered some remote work, you know,
Speaker 1: like working jobs that are in the US, but just
Speaker 1: doing it from believe. I kind of I left with
Speaker 1: the decision like to just go back and forth, you know,
Speaker 1: find a job that I could work in the United
Speaker 1: States and then maybe either hybrid remote or full time
Speaker 1: remote work, so I could go back and forth. But
Speaker 1: there were a lot of red flags and his behavior
Speaker 1: was really erratic and scary, so I never actually went
Speaker 1: back to live there.
Speaker 2: And how did his behaviors start to change?
Speaker 1: Where he shouted a lot of jealousy, obsessive jealousy. He
Speaker 1: was always very quick to apologize for behavior. If he
Speaker 1: did something that was that really upset me or made
Speaker 1: me feel uncomfortable, he was at first really quick to apologize.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 1: He just continued repeating the same behavior. So nothing changed,
Speaker 1: but a lot of jealousy, Like I wasn't I wasn't
Speaker 1: really safe or comfortable to hang out with friends or
Speaker 1: you know, go out and do anything without him calling,
Speaker 1: texting me over and over and over and over and
Speaker 1: then getting very angry at me. He had my location.
Speaker 3: Tracked on.
Speaker 1: We used different like apps, but he was very insistent
Speaker 1: on knowing exactly where I was all the time, and
Speaker 1: he lied about pretty much everything I started finding out
Speaker 1: as the relationship progressed that everything he told me about
Speaker 1: who he was, about his family about his life was
Speaker 1: a lie?
Speaker 2: What kind of lies?
Speaker 1: His age? Even his age? He lied to me about
Speaker 1: his age. He claimed to have a really good relationship
Speaker 1: with his family, and I met his family, but that
Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't true. He really he really kind of
Speaker 1: painted this like fantasy life that he had and none
Speaker 1: of it was true. He told me he was my age,
Speaker 1: but he was a year younger than me, which is
Speaker 1: such a small thing to lie about, and it didn't
Speaker 1: make sense.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: He told me that he had been because I had
Speaker 1: been single for about three maybe four years before I
Speaker 1: met him, and he told me he was also single
Speaker 1: for about three years before.
Speaker 3: I met him.
Speaker 1: And then I found this girl had made like a
Speaker 1: me to post on Facebook about him, claiming that he
Speaker 1: had like hit her and that he was really abusive
Speaker 1: towards her and that he was cheating on her with me.
Speaker 1: Wow and yeah, And he told me, was this.
Speaker 2: Another was this another? Was this another foreign foreign woman?
Speaker 2: Or was this was this a girl of Belize?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, she was a girl in Belize. So he
Speaker 1: told me she was just an ex girlfriend from a
Speaker 1: long time ago, and that she was really jealous and crazy,
Speaker 1: and even his family members told me the same thing
Speaker 1: as she was crazy. They they hadn't been together for
Speaker 1: so long. And then over time, slowly it just kept
Speaker 1: eating at me because a lot of the things that
Speaker 1: she wrote about in her post started happening to me.
Speaker 1: She talked a lot about how jealous he was and
Speaker 1: about how he started trying to control what she did
Speaker 1: and who she talked to, and the same way as
Speaker 1: she described it, it started happening to me. So I
Speaker 1: kind of kept pressing him about this girl. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, and his answer changed every time. So it
Speaker 1: went from oh, no, I haven't talked to her in
Speaker 1: three years, to oh, well it was like a couple months,
Speaker 1: to oh, well, you know, she wanted us to stay together,
Speaker 1: but a couple of days before you and I met,
Speaker 1: I broke things off with her. You know, the stories
Speaker 1: just kept changing over the weeks and months.
Speaker 2: And so when was it that you decided to leave Belize,
Speaker 2: leave a past or leave Belize?
Speaker 1: I guess September. I left in.
Speaker 2: September, and and then and that was after about two
Speaker 2: months of being there.
Speaker 1: He said, yeah, just about two months.
Speaker 2: And I'm curious, what was it that kind of was like,
Speaker 2: all right, I gotta leave, and then also was it
Speaker 2: difficult to get out?
Speaker 1: I was. I actually had a trip to Italy planned
Speaker 1: to visit my best friend who lived there, So it
Speaker 1: was kind of a decision of whether after that trip
Speaker 1: if I would go back to Belize or if I
Speaker 1: would go to the United States. So I ended up
Speaker 1: going back to the United States after that trip. But
Speaker 1: he made it very difficult to leave. He didn't want
Speaker 1: me to go on this trip. I'd planned it years
Speaker 1: in advance, but he was trying to stop me from going.
Speaker 1: He told me he was going to hide my passport
Speaker 1: so that I couldn't leave. So I actually I slept
Speaker 1: with my passport on my person for days before I left.
Speaker 1: And then once I went on that trip, he did
Speaker 1: everything he could to try to make my trip miserable.
Speaker 1: He asked me, he harassed my friend. He just would
Speaker 1: call over and over and over and over, and I
Speaker 1: made it really clear, you know, I tried to tell them,
Speaker 1: you know, we can talk for like an hour maybe
Speaker 1: two hours in the mornings, but I need the rest
Speaker 1: of the time for like me and my friend, and
Speaker 1: if anything urgent comes up, just text me and I'll
Speaker 1: get back in touch with you. I shared my location
Speaker 1: with him the whole time, but it was it wasn't
Speaker 1: enough for him. He seemed to think I was cheating
Speaker 1: on him the entire trip, so I didn't get a
Speaker 1: break from that. And when I finally was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, I can't do this and I turn off
Speaker 1: my phone or block him or you know, just silence
Speaker 1: his messages or notifications, he would start. He would make
Speaker 1: violent threats about me or my friend.
Speaker 2: And did you go from Italy back to Belize or
Speaker 2: do you go straight from Italy back to the US?
Speaker 1: I went straight back to the US. I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't deal with this guy anymore.
Speaker 2: Would did you have any belongings that you had to
Speaker 2: leave behind? And believe.
Speaker 1: One that I really cared about. I think I had
Speaker 1: some clothes and some like toilet trees. But I knew
Speaker 1: before I left on that trip that I was probably
Speaker 1: not going to come back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think it's worth going back to a
Speaker 2: crazy Belizian man for some shower gel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's definitely not. It got worse and worse to
Speaker 1: the point I'm like, you know what, I need to
Speaker 1: divorce this guy. And around the time I started talking
Speaker 1: to him about you know we need to get a divorce.
Speaker 1: Is when he I guess he had a contact in
Speaker 1: the cartel who was able to get him across into
Speaker 1: the US illegally.
Speaker 2: How did he find out where you lived?
Speaker 1: It was we had to put our addresses on our
Speaker 1: marriage certificate. He knew where I lived. He was also
Speaker 1: constantly like he had access to my location. He made
Speaker 1: me download certain acts that would share my location with him,
Speaker 1: so he knew where I was and where I would go.
Speaker 2: And so he had a contact in the cartel. Did
Speaker 2: you have any idea that did he ever talk about
Speaker 2: like the cartel or anything like that with you before?
Speaker 1: Towards towards the end, when I was when I was
Speaker 1: pretty sure I wanted to end things, he mentioned that
Speaker 1: he had like killed people. He claimed to be like
Speaker 1: a gang leader and believe I didn't believe it because
Speaker 1: he didn't have any money, you know, But like he
Speaker 1: told a lot of kind of stories like that, either
Speaker 1: to scare me or he was kind of opening up
Speaker 1: about being involved in some bad things. So it wasn't
Speaker 1: really surprising to me. I I can't really talk too
Speaker 1: much about certain things because of some investigations that are
Speaker 1: going on. But his family is really bad news.
Speaker 2: So I was curious about your guys marriage. I mean, like, what,
Speaker 2: how how legally binding was this thing? Well, now that
Speaker 2: you're back in the US, like do they really give
Speaker 2: a fuck about you know, Belizean that's probably not how
Speaker 2: you say it, Belizian, belie it's Belizian. It sounds made up.
Speaker 2: I feel like I made that. No, Belieze is a country, right,
Speaker 2: it's not a city. I'm so dumb. It's a country, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a country. Their main city is Belize City,
Speaker 1: So oh okay.
Speaker 2: So it's believe Belize.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say the city is so nice they
Speaker 2: named it twice, but it sounds kind of like it
Speaker 2: was bad for you.
Speaker 1: Now you're fine, beautiful people in Belize, and I really
Speaker 1: love the culture and the music is great. It's a
Speaker 1: great travel destination. I just maybe wouldn't get married to
Speaker 1: a stranger if you if you decide to go.
Speaker 2: So now you are back in the States. Yeah uh r.
Speaker 2: And so what's what happened with this marriage certificate? Like
Speaker 2: is I assume I guess how legally binding is it?
Speaker 2: As there is there? Like, what's going on with it?
Speaker 2: I suppose like the legality of the marriage.
Speaker 1: It's a really good question. I've been trying to find
Speaker 1: out the answer. I can't really get a clear answer really.
Speaker 1: I mean, technically, you can get married anywhere in the world,
Speaker 1: and it's as long as it's legal in the place
Speaker 1: where you got married, the United States will recognize it.
Speaker 1: But it's I mean, in the United States, am I married?
Speaker 1: I don't know. There were some documents that I had
Speaker 1: to fill out for him to start with, like the
Speaker 1: green card process. There's a document in particular that kind
Speaker 1: of claimed him as a family member of mine. I
Speaker 1: never filled out any of those. I just had a
Speaker 1: really bad feeling about making sure on paper, you know,
Speaker 1: the US government recognized him as a family member of mine.
Speaker 1: So I never filled any of that out. But I
Speaker 1: don't really know if it's I don't really know if
Speaker 1: it's legally binding. I would it is.
Speaker 2: So you left Belize in September September of what year two? Okay,
Speaker 2: So it's been been a little bit yep, And still.
Speaker 1: He came into the US and February of last year,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about that. So he comes into the
Speaker 2: US and what happens.
Speaker 1: So he got hot at the border, or I guess
Speaker 1: right after he crossed the border, and border patrol or
Speaker 1: USCIS or whoever technically asked to like call me two
Speaker 1: or have me fill out documents for me to be
Speaker 1: his sponsor. But they didn't do that. He was just
Speaker 1: kind of you know, he put me down as a sponsor.
Speaker 1: He had our marriage certificate with him, and they shipped
Speaker 1: him over to where I live. I live in North Carolina,
Speaker 1: So they shipped him here and I took him in.
Speaker 1: He claimed that he was scared for his life and
Speaker 1: believe he claim that people were trying to kill him,
Speaker 1: but the story also kept changing over and over and
Speaker 1: over again.
Speaker 2: So he just kind of shows up at your door.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I picked him up from the airport. But yeah,
Speaker 1: he called me like I'm here and I have nowhere.
Speaker 3: Else to go.
Speaker 2: And were you were? You know, and this was after
Speaker 2: he had made these violent threats against you and your friend? Yeah,
Speaker 2: were you were you skeptical? Were you afraid of of
Speaker 2: of of the sky at that point?
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I thought if he was here, you know,
Speaker 1: I kind of I had a little bit more in
Speaker 1: my head. I had a little bit more of an
Speaker 1: upper hand than when we were in Believe because I
Speaker 1: didn't know anybody else in Believe and I was kind
Speaker 1: of totally at his mercy there. But the way I
Speaker 1: was thinking about it was like, well, here, I have
Speaker 1: a friend, you know, this is my home, Like I
Speaker 1: know how things are done here, and he's showing up
Speaker 1: with kind of you know, no idea what's going on
Speaker 1: and how to live here, and he made it very
Speaker 1: much like, you know, I was all he had. So
Speaker 1: I thought things were probably going to calm down and
Speaker 1: that he wasn't going to be as aggressive or abusive
Speaker 1: as he had been, which is very naive to think.
Speaker 3: But I thought maybe it wouldn't.
Speaker 1: Be so bad.
Speaker 2: So how does that play out?
Speaker 1: The opposite? Yeah, the opposite. It was really bad. He
Speaker 1: started being physically violent about three weeks after he got here,
Speaker 1: and that was pretty much a weekly thing until he left.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a miracle I kept my job because
Speaker 1: I had a new job at the time. But yeah,
Speaker 1: there were times I started getting really bad migraines. I
Speaker 1: wasn't I pretty much had no relationship with my friends.
Speaker 1: I couldn't really like leave the house or go out
Speaker 1: and do anything unless he was with me, So.
Speaker 2: How does this eventually end? Like, how does how does
Speaker 2: he get out of the picture.
Speaker 1: He he strangled me, and I thought I was going
Speaker 1: to die. It was pretty bad, like I urinated all
Speaker 1: over myself and it was really bad. So I went
Speaker 1: to actually just went to an urgent care, like I
Speaker 1: ran and went to an urgent care, and they filed
Speaker 1: a police report and the police finally followed up with me,
Speaker 1: and as I was taking the report, he was calling
Speaker 1: me over and over and over and over again. So
Speaker 1: one of the police officers told me to answer his call,
Speaker 1: put it on speaker and not tell him that they
Speaker 1: were there, and my husband just confessed everything. So they
Speaker 1: got him and arrested him, but they almost immediately, like
Speaker 1: after two weeks maybe released him on bail, and then
Speaker 1: he went on the run. And from that point he
Speaker 1: was sending me multiple death threats. He like video called me,
Speaker 1: pointed a gun at the camera, told me I was dead,
Speaker 1: a lot of things to try to scare me. But
Speaker 1: his violence as we were living together kept escalating, So
Speaker 1: at that point I really believed that he might hurt me.
Speaker 1: I was really lucky to have some friends that were
Speaker 1: still kind of waiting waiting for me to come back
Speaker 1: and ready to help.
Speaker 2: What happened to him? Where's he now? Do we know?
Speaker 1: Yeah? They caught him. He's in a detention facility in
Speaker 1: another state. Yeah, I guess he was arrested on a
Speaker 1: domestic violence call in Tennessee and then they they kind
Speaker 1: of got him and sent him to a different facility
Speaker 1: to wait deportation.
Speaker 2: So he's in jail and he's going to get deported
Speaker 2: back into Belize. Yeah, and he has he contacted you
Speaker 2: since or do you have him blocked?
Speaker 1: Well, he doesn't. He doesn't have a cell phone, which
Speaker 1: is nice. He doesn't really have a way to contact me.
Speaker 1: His family members have been kind of sending me threats sporadically.
Speaker 1: I randomly get, you know, a call from a believe
Speaker 1: in number I just have to block. But it's been
Speaker 1: quiet for a while, for a couple of months now,
Speaker 1: it's been really quiet m.
Speaker 2: Hm hm, which is nice.
Speaker 1: But now it's you know, it's weird to go from
Speaker 1: something so intense to just regular life again. I don't
Speaker 1: know what normal regular life really looks like.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, this is uh, this is pretty crazy.
Speaker 2: This is very very crazy story that you're telling us
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's it's hard and very weird too, kind
Speaker 1: of go back to a normal or try to, you know,
Speaker 1: figure out what normal is.
Speaker 2: And you're in North Carolina right now, I am. And
Speaker 2: do you do you still have that job?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 1: I've gone through a couple jobs. I just started a
Speaker 1: brand new one. It's just kind of for safety reasons.
Speaker 1: He knew where I was working before, so I started
Speaker 1: a new one.
Speaker 2: And do you like that job?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love the people I work with. I I
Speaker 1: kind of wish I was able to contribute more, I guess,
Speaker 1: be more focused. It's been hard to I hear some
Speaker 1: people say that they're able to just drown themselves in
Speaker 1: work to avoid thinking about anything else. Oh, yes, I
Speaker 1: really envy people who can do that. I can't. I
Speaker 1: wish I had.
Speaker 2: More of that, you know. It's it's I don't know, man,
Speaker 2: I think I don't know. I don't know how like
Speaker 2: normal human beings like live their life and stuff. But
Speaker 2: I always kind of think that. And I don't even
Speaker 2: know what a normal human being looks like, or I guess,
Speaker 2: I guess I do. I have in my head what
Speaker 2: a normal human being is like, but I think there's
Speaker 2: a lot of like drowning yourself in stuff. You know,
Speaker 2: whether it's whether you're unlucky enough for it to be
Speaker 2: you know, drugs and alcohol, or if it's work, or
Speaker 2: or even or even if it's spent time with family
Speaker 2: and friends, you know, or or winning super Smash Brothers tournaments.
Speaker 2: Everyone's kind of drowning themselves in something because that's I
Speaker 2: guess that's what life is. Is you pick something to
Speaker 2: drown yourself in to prevent yourself from going insane, and
Speaker 2: then you die. And if you're lucky, you've chosen to
Speaker 2: drown yourself and the warmth of your friends and family.
Speaker 2: And if if not, you know, you pick something else.
Speaker 2: But again I don't I don't know how how normal
Speaker 2: human beings operate. But that's that's how I imagine it
Speaker 2: to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be nice to drown your life in that.
Speaker 2: What do you what do you? What do you desire
Speaker 2: to do next? What's on what's on the uh on
Speaker 2: the docket for you?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's gotten it's gotten really difficult to look forward and
Speaker 1: imagine the future. M I think I'd like to relocate.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of pay here for now, but it would
Speaker 1: be nice to go somewhere else in a different state
Speaker 1: where you know nobody can find me and just kind
Speaker 1: of start fresh there, start new.
Speaker 2: Would you consider leaving the country again.
Speaker 1: Yes, not Believes, but somewhere else. Yeah, probably nowhere in
Speaker 1: Central America. I think I'm good on Central America for
Speaker 1: a while.
Speaker 2: I think you're good on Central America for a while too.
Speaker 2: I think you've seen it. You had the food. It
Speaker 2: was good. You can check it off on your little
Speaker 2: map list. Probably good for Believes for the rest of
Speaker 2: your life, I would say, depending on depending on how
Speaker 2: how high quality that shower gel you left there was.
Speaker 2: If it was the really good stuff, then maybe you
Speaker 2: make a trip back to Belize. But if if it
Speaker 2: was kind of just like something you picked up at Walgreens,
Speaker 2: then you know you can leave it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't. I don't think the shower gel quality
Speaker 1: in Belize is much better than in the United States.
Speaker 1: I think we've got some good stuff here.
Speaker 2: I'll be Okay, Well, that's a tough thing. I think
Speaker 2: about that all the time. I think about like life restarts,
Speaker 2: and I've talked to a lot of people, Uh, you know,
Speaker 2: when I've been abroad who've restarted their lives, and you know,
Speaker 2: I've thought about doing it myself, and it's it's a
Speaker 2: fascinating idea. I mean, you kind of and it's hard
Speaker 2: because you kind of tried to do it and it
Speaker 2: just went really poorly. And I don't know if that
Speaker 2: should necessarily I think I don't know if that should
Speaker 2: discourage you from trying to do it again. Maybe you know,
Speaker 2: you've you've learned some safety tips, you know, is to
Speaker 2: have you could do it again, but not you know,
Speaker 2: have it be such a crazy, crazy thing. But uh,
Speaker 2: you know I would keep that courage that you have.
Speaker 2: Whatever the courage was that you know, caught want it
Speaker 2: made you, you know, be like, Okay, I'm going to
Speaker 2: take a nice leap with my life, right But you know,
Speaker 2: we we we hone it and we we adjust it.
Speaker 2: So it's like, Okay, you know, we're gonna have the
Speaker 2: courage to go out into a new place and make
Speaker 2: new connections and whatnot. But you know, we've learned. Maybe
Speaker 2: we don't you know, sign any any marriage certificates or
Speaker 2: or do anything super crazy, but something doing something just
Speaker 2: crazy enough that it you know, propels you into this
Speaker 2: this new place that you want to be, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1: Like get really into some crazy hobby.
Speaker 2: Like yeah that sky die sky you're gonna that's skydiving.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know. Skydiving is probably safer than
Speaker 2: driving a car. I personally, I mean, I watch videos
Speaker 2: all day of horrible skydiving accidents on Twitter, and so
Speaker 2: I'm biased against it. But you know, it's I think.
Speaker 1: Any extreme sports.
Speaker 2: I don't like extreme sports. I don't think it's worth
Speaker 2: you know, don't get I don't like things where you
Speaker 2: can get all fucked up. Yeah, yeah, Like why don't
Speaker 2: you Why don't you move to China and start a
Speaker 2: knitting club and it's just you and you know the
Speaker 2: people of China and you're and you're knitting. That could
Speaker 2: be fun. So that sounds lovely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to learn how to knit, but that's
Speaker 1: a good idea. Go off to some like French countryside
Speaker 1: and learn how to make you know, French dishes.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, don't that's I guess what I'm trying I
Speaker 6: guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope
Speaker 6: you don't lose is your sense of adventure and sense of.
Speaker 2: You know, desire to keep evolving and changing. But that
Speaker 2: but so don't lose that, you know, don't let this
Speaker 2: horrible experience, you know, totally freeze you up to the
Speaker 2: point where you don't want to go out and live
Speaker 2: your life anymore. Right, we don't want that to happen,
Speaker 2: but you know, but but take that sense and you know,
Speaker 2: don't let it aroad. But also don't let it, you know,
Speaker 2: steer you into you know, the bad places. You know,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I think it takes some time too
Speaker 1: for healing. I haven't really spent a whole lot of
Speaker 1: time in between adventures, I guess, focusing on healing myself
Speaker 1: and making myself, you know, stronger before jumping into the
Speaker 1: next thing. Sure, sure, sure, I think that healing can
Speaker 1: be an adventure in itself.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I like that. I like that. You know what
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna take that. I'm going to take
Speaker 2: that from you. Healing can be an adventure in and
Speaker 2: of itself. Sometimes I'm going to take that. I like that.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's the hardest one, sometimes it's the scariest one,
Speaker 1: but it's one of the most important ones.
Speaker 2: What's your name again?
Speaker 1: Out right?
Speaker 2: Right? Well, right right, thanks for sharing your tale with us.
Speaker 2: I hope it was helpful to talk about. You know.
Speaker 2: You know what. I bet somebody will listen to this
Speaker 2: podcast and you you'll you maybe you'll you'll get them
Speaker 2: to think twice about their you know, crazy foreign marriage
Speaker 2: adventure that they might be embarking on.
Speaker 1: That was my hope. That's the plan. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for having.
Speaker 3: Me a while.
Speaker 2: Of course, any final words for the people of the
Speaker 2: computer before we.
Speaker 1: Go, just think twice before doing anything crazy.
Speaker 2: Take care, right, Thanks so much. I you know, at
Speaker 2: the beginning of Race Call, I was telling her that
Speaker 2: I was in an existential crisis mode, and I am.
Speaker 2: And whenever I get into an existential crisis mode, my
Speaker 2: first instinct is like, okay, well, I'm not getting any younger,
Speaker 2: and I have this job that only only every so
Speaker 2: often requires me to actually you know, be in a
Speaker 2: physical location, and so why don't I go to Thailand
Speaker 2: for a little bit, you know, and see what the
Speaker 2: fuck happens. And I do think I'm gonna do that.
Speaker 2: I do think it's important to do those things. But
Speaker 2: I am inspired by Ray's words of maybe, you know,
Speaker 2: healing and overcoming and reinventing and and tacking on. You know,
Speaker 2: the issues you actually have in your home are already
Speaker 2: adventure in and of themselves, and so I'm going to
Speaker 2: think about that and what what would you know? As
Speaker 2: it's it's my favorite thing in the podcast is when
Speaker 2: when the therapy gecko gets therapy echoed. So thank you
Speaker 2: very much.
Speaker 4: Ray.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi there. What's your name?
Speaker 3: Oh? My name is Mea.
Speaker 4: I was at your Syracuse show a few days ago.
Speaker 2: Why are you? Why are you talking like that? You're
Speaker 2: like doing a bit.
Speaker 4: I have no idea.
Speaker 3: I think I'm kind of like a little I don't want.
Speaker 4: To say a little autistic because people don't like when.
Speaker 2: It's okay, yeah, that's okay, that's okay.
Speaker 4: You know, I think that might be a little bit.
Speaker 2: That's okay, that's totally okay. I just I just the
Speaker 2: only I didn't say that, I promisedly. I wasn't saying
Speaker 2: that to be a dick. I just I was saying
Speaker 2: that because I was like, no, you were You don't
Speaker 2: have to do that. You can do we can just talk.
Speaker 2: It's okay.
Speaker 4: Oh it takes a lot to bother me, honestly, So
Speaker 4: you're fine.
Speaker 2: Okay, I really, I didn't mean to offend you. I
Speaker 2: just wanted to tell you, like, you don't have to
Speaker 2: because I think some people I think they have to
Speaker 2: like do a put on, and you don't. You could
Speaker 2: just be be whoever you are. It's okay.
Speaker 4: No, I'm just naturally strange. I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no no, don't don't be. Just
Speaker 2: as long as you're being naturally whatever you are, you
Speaker 2: have nothing to apologize for. Oh yeah, anyway, uh Mia
Speaker 2: you yes, you you? You mentioned to me over over
Speaker 2: this text that you were at my Syracuse show a
Speaker 2: few nights to go shout out to Syracuse had a
Speaker 2: really fun time this week Syracuse, Albany, Hartford, Connecticut doing shows.
Speaker 2: Uh therapic gecotour dot com, go check it out. But anyway,
Speaker 2: you said you broke up with your boyfriend after the show?
Speaker 2: Was he at? I'm wonder was the show like a
Speaker 2: catalyst for this breakup?
Speaker 4: Oh so not necessarily. I mean it was like a
Speaker 4: couple days.
Speaker 3: After, but not long after.
Speaker 4: You know, I feel I feel like a bitch, and
Speaker 4: I'm kind of like, you know, am I the asshole?
Speaker 3: I might be?
Speaker 2: I might tell us what happens if you if you
Speaker 2: want to.
Speaker 4: So, me and my boyfriend, uh we met on TikTok's
Speaker 4: very very strange way to meet and he lives in
Speaker 4: Michigan and oh god, I he flew out here. He
Speaker 4: was supposed to stay till freaking boom till Tuesday, and uh,
Speaker 4: I should not be laughing. It's not funny, very sad.
Speaker 4: I laugh at sadness.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 4: You know, we were we were playing these cards that
Speaker 4: were that are like, oh, let's get closer.
Speaker 3: Couples of a day.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know, it's the whole like here's some
Speaker 2: questions to build intimacy kind of cards.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I kind of went like the opposite direction. I just
Speaker 4: kind of like, you know, I do thing where it's
Speaker 4: like in every relationship, I kind of lie to myself
Speaker 4: after a while, which is totally not intentional. I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm in love, this is great. This is going to
Speaker 4: be the rest of my life.
Speaker 3: And then there's just kind.
Speaker 4: Of like this impending cloud of doom, like oh no,
Speaker 4: this is going to be the rest of my life. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and then I kind of start freaking out. It's not
Speaker 4: that I don't know, I don't know what is So
Speaker 4: you know, it's kind of like, oh, what's going on?
Speaker 4: You see him a little upset, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 4: not feeling it, you know. And it was just it
Speaker 4: was just like this downward spiral. And I paid for
Speaker 4: him to fly home that day.
Speaker 2: That that is hold on, hold on, that is funny, Like.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's so bad because like he didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 2: That's okay, that's okay. You don't have to. They don't
Speaker 2: have to. It's not it doesn't have to be. It
Speaker 2: doesn't you know, it doesn't have to be sad. Hold on, Okay,
Speaker 2: all right, Well can I can I just real quick
Speaker 2: me out, let me, let's rain all of this in
Speaker 2: real quick. Okay. So here's how I understand this. All right, So,
Speaker 2: so you went to the show with with this guy
Speaker 2: that you met on tape. Was see your boyfriend? Or
Speaker 2: was he just like a guy that you kind of
Speaker 2: met for the first time on to off of TikTok?
Speaker 4: So we met on TikTok, but we had meeting up
Speaker 4: in person like twice before, Okay, so this was like
Speaker 4: third times charm.
Speaker 2: All right? So if you do so, he flies from
Speaker 2: Misschigan to Syracuse, you guys, was he were you both
Speaker 2: at the show. Yeah, did I meet guys?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we have a picture with you. We were like,
Speaker 4: I want to last in line.
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, hold like, I'm so sorry. Can you
Speaker 2: send me this picture? I want to see if I
Speaker 2: remember your faces?
Speaker 4: Oh Jesus, Oh so I just text it to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just texted to this phone number. But I'll
Speaker 2: talk to I'll talk to you while you're doing it.
Speaker 2: It's recent enough that I remember your faces. Maybe, but anyway, Okay,
Speaker 2: so you So he flies out from Michigan to Syracuse, Uh,
Speaker 2: to hang out with you, go to the show? Uh?
Speaker 2: And how long is he in Syracuse for? So with that?
Speaker 4: Oh god, that was the first day.
Speaker 2: So he flies in, goes to the show. Okay, he
Speaker 2: sent the picture. He hold let me let me let
Speaker 2: me see if I remember you guys. Okay, wait a minute,
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I told absolutely, Wait hold on, hold on?
Speaker 2: Is his name? I don't want to dox him, Brandon.
Speaker 2: Let's cut all right, Brandon. Let's me if we can
Speaker 2: mute this name from the podcast, because I don't want
Speaker 2: to dox him, But tell me if I was right?
Speaker 2: Is was his name? Yeah? Ah? Fuck? Yeah? The fuck
Speaker 2: all of you guys, who think I don't remember anyone's
Speaker 2: name because I fucking remember this guy's name.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, Oh he got it, you got it, I got.
Speaker 2: It, I fucking got I'm actually, I actually am so
Speaker 2: stoked about that because you listen, if you listen to
Speaker 2: this show, you'll listen to me ask people's name about
Speaker 2: one hundred times. But yes, I remember this guy. No,
Speaker 2: I remember this guy. He had a he had a
Speaker 2: vibe going to him. Both both both you guys had
Speaker 2: a head a little vibe going. I do remember you guys.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like, man, he didn't do anything wrong,
Speaker 4: you know, I don't know, maybe you don't know, but
Speaker 4: just like, not to sound corny, but the vibe is
Speaker 4: there or it's not there. And we very much, you know,
Speaker 4: connected as friends, but they're the romance it was dead.
Speaker 2: I remember his name because he just looks like his name.
Speaker 2: He looks like his name. Anyway, listen to me. I
Speaker 2: don't think. Okay, you plant you paying for him to
Speaker 2: fly home that day. It is funny. Okay, you don't
Speaker 2: have to feel bad about I mean, you don't feel
Speaker 2: bad about it because it is. It is funny. But
Speaker 2: but here's the thing. I don't think there's anything, there's
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with uh, just be making this decision of like,
Speaker 2: you know what, it's not there. We don't have to
Speaker 2: waste time. We don't have to, you know, hang out
Speaker 2: in Syracuse for another week while we're not feeling it.
Speaker 2: Just just go home. They lick the wounds and we'll
Speaker 2: move on. We'll figure it out. It's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 4: Like I totally would have waited till after the trick,
Speaker 4: Like I did not plan to do this. That's why
Speaker 4: I feel like an asshole, because it's like, damn, I
Speaker 4: couldn't have waited till Why.
Speaker 2: Wait, why wait? What was gonna happen? You decided you
Speaker 2: didn't like him? What was that week gonna look like?
Speaker 2: That wasn't gonna be a fun week for either of you.
Speaker 2: That was only gonna it was only gonna get worse, right,
Speaker 2: because you were gonna be feeling slowly, slowly, more and
Speaker 2: more as though you were getting trapped into a thing
Speaker 2: that you didn't even want to be in. And he
Speaker 2: was gonna start, he was gonna get more and more
Speaker 2: excited and happy and more invested, and it was it
Speaker 2: was just not gonna be a good thing. So, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't think there was anything wrong with being you know,
Speaker 2: being honest and sending him home and being like, you
Speaker 2: know what, this wasn't gonna work. It was only gonna
Speaker 2: get worse. You know you actually did the right thing,
Speaker 2: I think because you ended it, uh before before it
Speaker 2: got worse.
Speaker 4: And he's like, let me pay you back for the
Speaker 4: point ticket.
Speaker 3: I'm like.
Speaker 2: This, it was honestly, honestly kind kind it's still very funny,
Speaker 2: but kind of you to pay for the plane ticket back.
Speaker 4: Well, it's like, you know, don't we sit there like
Speaker 4: four days in awkwardness and then right right right, you know,
Speaker 4: let's make it work.
Speaker 2: It's like, no, instead, did you pack him a lunch
Speaker 2: and give him an apple juice for the flight?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: You know I didn't do that, And I do feel bad.
Speaker 3: I could have I can cook.
Speaker 2: What was I gonna say?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: What was the card that made you decide that it
Speaker 2: wasn't gonna work?
Speaker 4: Oh? God? Well, you know it was kind of like
Speaker 4: one after the other, like questions like like I should
Speaker 4: not be laughing. See this is how I feel like
Speaker 4: an asshle.
Speaker 3: I just I laughed to deal with things.
Speaker 4: I do genuinely feel so bad because he's a great guy,
Speaker 4: great friend.
Speaker 5: He was a nice Yeah, I liked I Like, it's
Speaker 5: like questions like, what what made me fall in love
Speaker 5: with you?
Speaker 4: Do you remember the moment I fell in love with you?
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh God, not really.
Speaker 3: It's like, am I supposed to?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 2: I mean, you just met the guy for the second time?
Speaker 3: Well third, but still how how how.
Speaker 2: How long were you guys chatting on the TikTok for?
Speaker 4: Oh, but I think I'm bad at timelines.
Speaker 3: We've known each other for like a bit over a year.
Speaker 4: Okay, we talked on TikTok for a little bit, went
Speaker 4: over to Snapchat kind of weird, but like just talked
Speaker 4: on Snapchat and just continuously talked every day. And then,
Speaker 4: like I want to say, after being friends for like
Speaker 4: six months or more, we were like, let's try to date.
Speaker 4: But I said I wasn't gonna like date him till
Speaker 4: I met him in person.
Speaker 2: That's a reasonable request. That's a reasonable request.
Speaker 4: Yeah, It's like, I'm not gonna call you my boyfriend
Speaker 4: before I meet you in person, even though I think.
Speaker 5: I like you.
Speaker 2: Does he is? He? So you guys both came to
Speaker 2: my show? Does he also listen to this podcast. I
Speaker 2: assume he's gonna hear this.
Speaker 4: You know, I don't know if he really does. I
Speaker 4: think he sees like the clips on like Instagram and stuff.
Speaker 4: He's probably too depressed right now to be doing this.
Speaker 2: Look if he's here, Look, because I've met this guy,
Speaker 2: all right, so here's let me and I only knew
Speaker 2: him for two seconds, but uh, let me just if
Speaker 2: he's listening to this, I'm not gonna say his name
Speaker 2: again because we already said we're gonna bleep it once.
Speaker 2: But if you're listening to this, okay, listen, I remember you.
Speaker 2: You had a lot of swag. I'm looking at a
Speaker 2: picture of you right now. You're a swaggy guy. You're
Speaker 2: you got you know, cool hair, you got a good vibe.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be fine. I'm gonna I'm gonna give him
Speaker 2: a fake name so I can address himself. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: call him John. John. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna
Speaker 2: be fine, John. You know you'll go You'll find someone else.
Speaker 5: Please forget probably, Yeah, bounce back.
Speaker 4: And I kind of feel like it's me problem in
Speaker 4: a way, not to be like the whole cliche. Oh,
Speaker 4: it's not you, it's me. But this feels like it
Speaker 4: happens in all of my relationships, and I do try
Speaker 4: to like take it slow, you know. I do try
Speaker 4: to pace myself, make sure I like him. And then
Speaker 4: it's like, all of a sudden, in the middle of stuff,
Speaker 4: I'm like, uh, oh, who.
Speaker 3: Is this guy?
Speaker 4: Not really who is this guy?
Speaker 2: But it's like no, you're right, you're you're sitting in there,
Speaker 2: laying in bed, You're looking at him, and you're like,
Speaker 2: who's this random guy in my bed?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Like yeah, is this is this the rest of
Speaker 4: my life?
Speaker 2: That's every that's every that's that's everyone's worst nightmare. That's
Speaker 2: really everyone's absolute worst night are both both a guy
Speaker 2: and a girl. If you're a guy, there's nothing worse
Speaker 2: than when if you're like in bed with someone you've
Speaker 2: been dating and you can tell that they just looked
Speaker 2: at you and they were like, who is this stranger
Speaker 2: in my bed right now? And then for you as well,
Speaker 2: you look at them, you're like, why this is insane,
Speaker 2: We're just we don't even you could be you could
Speaker 2: be dating someone for like five years and look at
Speaker 2: them and be like, who's this fucking guy? In my house.
Speaker 2: You know, terrifying I've had.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm I'm twenty seven. I'm not I'm not
Speaker 4: super old. I'm not super young anymore. But it's like,
Speaker 4: you know, I don't. I'm kind of like, should I
Speaker 4: just not fucking date people anymore?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: I feel like this is a family curse. I had
Speaker 4: an uncle who passed away and like his early sixties,
Speaker 4: and he was kind of like a player, and I
Speaker 4: feel like him, Like he always tried to have a girlfriend.
Speaker 4: And like even this one girl, her name was Tammy,
Speaker 4: and and my uncle Mike going Tammy. They had a
Speaker 4: freaking vibe going. She was sweet, she was cool, and
Speaker 4: the like main reason why they broke up was because
Speaker 4: she had a fucking dog, Like because my uncle is
Speaker 4: like anal about everything and he's like, oh, the dog's
Speaker 4: gonna get hair everywhere. And it's like I feel I
Speaker 4: feel like him. I feel like we have this this curse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Jesus, I have you know what fuck it. I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna say this because I'm trying to be I'm
Speaker 2: trying to be more authentic on here. I kind of
Speaker 2: have that curse too, and I'm not I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: honest with you, I think it's bad. I would I
Speaker 2: would refer to it as a curse. I would definitely
Speaker 2: refer to it as a curse.
Speaker 4: Sorry, I'm not trying to cut you off.
Speaker 2: Here, cut me off, go ahead.
Speaker 4: No, it just like I get really into my thoughts
Speaker 4: about it, and I'm like, am I the weird one?
Speaker 4: Or are a bunch of other people lying to themselves?
Speaker 4: Like does that make sense? Like like maybe maybe all
Speaker 4: these other people are just like pretending and feeling weird,
Speaker 4: but just they're miserable in their relationship and not talking
Speaker 4: about it.
Speaker 2: That's why, buddy. Fuck if I know, Fuck if I know,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know who's happy and who's
Speaker 2: not happy. I mean, I mean, look, there's four kinds
Speaker 2: of people, right, There's people who are happy in their relationships,
Speaker 2: people who are unhappy be in their relationships, people are
Speaker 2: happy being single, and people who are unhappy being single.
Speaker 2: And all of those people exist in the universe, and
Speaker 2: I don't know what necessarily differentiates them. I don't know
Speaker 2: what the X factors are. But you know, choose your character, mate.
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's just.
Speaker 4: I think I gotta stop trying, and I just I
Speaker 4: don't know if it can be achieved. I think, you know,
Speaker 4: I think it's all in my head that something's going
Speaker 4: to be good, and then it is not.
Speaker 3: It's not good.
Speaker 2: Well, don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 4: Me.
Speaker 2: It was nice of you to pay for that guy's flight.
Speaker 2: Did you send him home first class? That would have
Speaker 2: been really funny.
Speaker 4: See about that.
Speaker 3: We didn't go that far.
Speaker 2: Did you at least send him Southwest a boarding group.
Speaker 4: I know he was on Southwest.
Speaker 3: Don't know about the group.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you send them home in the sea. Boy
Speaker 2: he got he had to sit in the middle seat
Speaker 2: between a baby and a fat guy.
Speaker 4: I know his flight got delayed. He did get home
Speaker 4: at like one in the morning. It was pretty quick,
Speaker 4: like we broke up and then you got on the
Speaker 4: flight like three hours later. My damn, this this happened
Speaker 4: real fast. This was not in the itinerary.
Speaker 2: Well me, I mean, don't feel it. Don't you know
Speaker 2: what I'll say. I'll say one more time before we go.
Speaker 2: I think I think you know, I honestly I respect
Speaker 2: the genuineness by which you went around, by which you
Speaker 2: went through the situation, because you know you didn't want
Speaker 2: to drag it out a lot of people will drag
Speaker 2: it out out of fear, you know, because a lot
Speaker 2: of people, by the way, a lot of people have
Speaker 2: this curse that you're referring to, and a lot of
Speaker 2: those people do not have the courage to admit it,
Speaker 2: and so they'll drag it out, right. So don't don't
Speaker 2: don't feel too bad. Don't feel too bad. It was
Speaker 2: nice you to pay for this cause flight. Thanks Thanks
Speaker 2: again for coming to the Syracuse show. That was fun.
Speaker 2: I remember the guy who called his dad to telling
Speaker 2: me drank his piss. That was an ald timer.
Speaker 4: That was my favorite part. Listen if the cannibal girl
Speaker 4: was listening, I'm sorry that was that was kind of cringey,
Speaker 4: kind of kind of out there. I don't know how
Speaker 4: serious she was. I'm scared, but the pee part was
Speaker 4: my favorite. It was a great time. You did a great.
Speaker 2: Job, folks listening. Go to therapy geckotour dot com to
Speaker 2: r s VP for when I come to your city
Speaker 2: or to go to you know something, to go to
Speaker 2: one of the shows. Anyway, Mia, thanks for calling. Uh,
Speaker 2: there's anything else I want to say to the people
Speaker 2: of the computer before we go.
Speaker 4: You know, guys, I don't think I'm an asshole. You know,
Speaker 4: I can't pretend. I can't hide. If I could, I
Speaker 4: would have, but that.
Speaker 3: Might have been worse.
Speaker 4: So hopefully I've got some supporters out there, and definitely
Speaker 4: goes a therapy Gecko show. It was worth it. It
Speaker 4: should not end your relationship.
Speaker 2: All right, take care, Thanks MAA.
Speaker 4: Well, thank you, Bobe bye.
Speaker 2: Actually it's kind of funny. So I did a show.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, was it last No, it's two nights ago.
Speaker 2: I did a show in Hartford, Connecticut, shout out Hartford, Connecticut,
Speaker 2: and this couple came on stage because this woman submitted
Speaker 2: an entry to come on stage saying that her she
Speaker 2: almost s broke up with her boyfriend when they went
Speaker 2: to my show in New York because her boyfriend like
Speaker 2: didn't want her because she tried. She tried to wear
Speaker 2: a gecko costume to the show and her boyfriend wouldn't
Speaker 2: let her. And because the reason why is because he
Speaker 2: said there could only be one gecko and he was
Speaker 2: like trying to he was trying to like defend my honor.
Speaker 2: But they are still together anyway. Thanks, thanks for thanks
Speaker 2: for calling. Yeah, goes on the line, taking your phone
Speaker 2: calls every night, Deacon goes to his side.
Speaker 6: He's teaching you a loud of your life, but he's
Speaker 6: not really an expert.