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Speaker 1: Hello, while Hi.

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Speaker 2: What is your name?

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Speaker 1: Hey, my name's Ray. How's your Saturday?

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Speaker 3: So far?

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Speaker 2: My Saturday is going fine. I'm in the I'm always

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Speaker 2: having an existential crisis. You know, do you ever have those.

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Speaker 1: All the time? What's your crisis about?

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Speaker 2: Well, it's just like I don't know what the point

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Speaker 2: is of like doing anything. I know this sounds really depressing,

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Speaker 2: but it's like I don't know. I'm gonna tell a

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Speaker 2: story real quick. I'm started. I'm gonna start. I'm having

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Speaker 2: more fun actually now talking over callers and giving my thoughts.

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Speaker 2: So I'm gonna do that to you right now. There's

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Speaker 2: this guy so I used to be I still am.

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Speaker 2: I'm really into competitive Super Smash Brothers Melee. You familiar

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Speaker 2: with Super Smash Brothers. Yeah, And there's this guy I

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Speaker 2: think about all the time. He's a player. He's a

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Speaker 2: professional Super Smash Brothers player. His name is Hungry Box,

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Speaker 2: and he's been playing professional Super Smash Brothers Melee for

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Speaker 2: like fifteen years something crazy like that. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if it's exactly fifteen years, but whatever. And he's been

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Speaker 2: like he hasn't been like number one the whole time,

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Speaker 2: but for at least like seven, six, five years he

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Speaker 2: was number one. He was the best player of all time, okay,

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Speaker 2: and he's like his whole he's a very competitive guy,

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Speaker 2: and he just he always wants to win the game.

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Speaker 2: And I saw I was watching a video of him

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Speaker 2: winning a tournament from like eleven years ago or something

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Speaker 2: like that, and when he wins the tournament, he pops off.

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Speaker 2: He jumps out of his chair in excitement because he

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Speaker 2: won the tournament. He's like so amped. He wants it

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Speaker 2: so bad to win this tournament. He wants it so badly.

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Speaker 2: And then I watched the video from like six months

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Speaker 2: ago of him winning a tournament, and when he wins

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Speaker 2: the tournament, just as he did eleven years ago, he

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Speaker 2: pops off. He is filled with emotion. He's so happy

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Speaker 2: that he won the tournament. He wanted it so bad.

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Speaker 2: And I think about this guy often just because, like

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Speaker 2: I guess, I don't understand this thing of like, after

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Speaker 2: being number one for eleven years, how do you still

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Speaker 2: give a shit? You know? How do you still care

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Speaker 2: so much about winning after you've won? I mean, this

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Speaker 2: guy's won, you know, a hundred of these tournaments and

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Speaker 2: he still wants to win so badly every time. I guess,

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Speaker 2: I don't. I don't understand, you know, how does that

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Speaker 2: deep how does that desire stay so palpaable for years?

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Speaker 2: And I'm thinking about this because I'm trying to figure

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Speaker 2: out in my own life, like what I give a

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Speaker 2: shit about, like what I care about, and I have

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Speaker 2: certain things that I've cared about for many years, and

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, I don't. I don't know how I

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Speaker 2: can see myself caring about this, you know, into my thirties, forties, fifties, sixties,

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Speaker 2: you know. And I'm like, is that is How is

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Speaker 2: that how life is supposed to be? Or are you

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Speaker 2: supposed to kind of pick your things that you give

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Speaker 2: a shit about? Like you do you understand what I'm

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Speaker 2: saying right now?

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Speaker 1: Definitely? Like how do you keep the fire burning?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: I had this conversation with someone the other day actually,

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Speaker 1: and the way that he described it is like growth

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Speaker 1: can kind of come through in different ways. As long

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Speaker 1: as you keep growing, it doesn't really matter how so,

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes it's good to take a break in

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Speaker 1: the thing that's no longer you know, on fire for

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Speaker 1: you and just kind of grow in a different direction.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, I just I just hopped up to Sorry, I

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Speaker 2: just hopped up to turn off a space heater.

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Speaker 4: You.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you've been experiencing this in your life. Well

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Speaker 2: how you? How have you reinvented yourself? How have you

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Speaker 2: done this?

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Speaker 1: Well? I, I guess in terms of my career, I

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Speaker 1: have been really questioning if I still also if I

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Speaker 1: still care about it. But I've been forced to kind

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Speaker 1: of take a different direction in my career because of

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Speaker 1: my personal life. And I think with a lot of

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Speaker 1: things that have been going on in my personal life,

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Speaker 1: it's it's become impossible to care about my professional life

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Speaker 1: in the same way. You know, I think different areas

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Speaker 1: of our life can kind of drain a lot of

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Speaker 1: energy out of us make it harder to perform in

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Speaker 1: other areas.

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Speaker 2: So tell me what is going on in your personal

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Speaker 2: life is that has made you care less about the

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Speaker 2: professional life?

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Speaker 1: Well, two years ago, I got married to a stranger

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Speaker 1: on a girl's trip. I went to a small country

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Speaker 1: in Central America with some of my girls and had

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Speaker 1: a love at first sight experience. I've never experienced it

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Speaker 1: before in my life, and I think in some way

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Speaker 1: I thought it was kind of like it didn't really

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Speaker 1: matter if I got married to this person, but I

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Speaker 1: never felt those feelings before, so I just went for it.

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Speaker 1: And there were a lot of people in my life,

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Speaker 1: you know, telling me, probably shouldn't do this, what if

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Speaker 1: he's like a serial killer or something, And I didn't

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Speaker 1: listen to them because I was thinking, like, the chances

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Speaker 1: of him being like a serial killer or some crazy

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Speaker 1: person are are there.

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Speaker 3: But not that high, you know.

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Speaker 1: I yes, I made I meet a lot of strangers

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Speaker 1: all the time, and I was less afraid of it

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Speaker 1: than I should have been. But he turned out to

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Speaker 1: be a total psychopath. Actually, uh.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: At a certain point, I went to live with him

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Speaker 1: in that country and it was okay, but I got

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Speaker 1: really bad feeling about it. So I came back to

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Speaker 1: the US where I live, and he snuck into the

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Speaker 1: country illegally. I came here, and the situation just got

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Speaker 1: really abusive, really bad. In September of last year, he

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Speaker 1: was arrested for strangling me. So I led to a

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Speaker 1: bunch of you know, court cases or police investigations. The

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Speaker 1: FEDS got involved, I got the FEDS reached out to me.

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Speaker 1: So it was just so all consuming of my life

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Speaker 1: and trying to figure out how to keep myself safe. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I've reached this point. He was finally caught because

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Speaker 1: he was released on bail for the strangulation and just

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Speaker 1: went on the run. So he was finally caught, and

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Speaker 1: he's in a detention facility very far away from me

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Speaker 1: now pending deportation. But yeah, I'm definitely in this place,

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Speaker 1: like I don't even know what I want to do

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Speaker 1: with my life.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: I came in so crazy and hot, and now this

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Speaker 1: kind of left to pick up the pieces and try

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Speaker 1: to figure out what I actually want.

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Speaker 2: So where did where did you go in Central America?

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Speaker 2: Where you met this guy? Believe belieze? And how long

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Speaker 2: were you there for?

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Speaker 1: Uh, for the Girls Tripper. I guess like maybe two weeks,

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Speaker 1: but then I came How did you?

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Speaker 2: How did you meet this guy?

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Speaker 1: He was our tour guide for like a boat tour.

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Speaker 1: They have a great barrier reef out there.

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Speaker 3: I actually met him before the tour.

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Speaker 1: It's so weird. We didn't really say that much to

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Speaker 1: each other. It was just I had an overwhelming It's

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Speaker 1: felt like everything exploded in my body when I saw him.

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Speaker 1: It's so weird to talk about. I've never had an

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Speaker 1: experience like that before or since, And he described the

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Speaker 1: same thing. But yeah, and that we just kind of

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Speaker 1: once we did start talking, we became inseparable.

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Speaker 2: M And so you went back to Belize how soon

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Speaker 2: after the trip?

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Speaker 1: Just a couple of weeks after?

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Speaker 2: And do you not have a job or anything that

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Speaker 2: you like? Did you? Did you quit your job? Did

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Speaker 2: you not have any place that needed your attention to

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Speaker 2: be there?

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Speaker 1: I did have a job. I eventually I quit that job,

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Speaker 1: which I also very much regret doing. It was a

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Speaker 1: very crazy, impulsive decision. I think I was also kind

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Speaker 1: of growing tired of the life that I had in

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Speaker 1: the US, so it was appealing to escape to another place.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: So you got married to this guy? How soon after

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Speaker 2: you met him?

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Speaker 1: A couple weeks after I met him?

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Speaker 2: And why did you decide to get married? Why not

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Speaker 2: just hang out?

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Speaker 1: Well? I actually thought about it. I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: either going to have to go home and just never

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Speaker 1: talk to this guy again, just let it stay there,

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Speaker 1: or I have to really commit to this happening.

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Speaker 3: I think he.

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Speaker 1: Also really drove that idea into my head, like I

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Speaker 1: had to if I wanted to make something happen with him.

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Speaker 1: I had to commit one hundred percent or I had

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Speaker 1: to just leave it behind me. He was heavily pushing

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Speaker 1: or marriage, which should have been a huge red flag.

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Speaker 2: How old are you and how old is he?

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Speaker 1: I am twenty seven, he's twenty six, okay, and at

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Speaker 1: the time I was twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 2: What'd your girls think about this? Did they tell you

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Speaker 2: not to do it? After kind of being the only

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Speaker 2: other people who knew anything about this guy?

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Speaker 1: They actually really liked him. At first. I didn't get

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Speaker 1: any you know, strong, don't do it messages from them,

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Speaker 1: but other friends of mine at home and in my family,

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Speaker 1: of course, we're we're not happy about it, and told

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Speaker 1: me that I shouldn't do it. But the girls on

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Speaker 1: the trip were weirdly pretty supportive.

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Speaker 2: And so the plan was just to, you know, abandon

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Speaker 2: all your life in America and move to Belize. What

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Speaker 2: was it in America going on that was making you

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Speaker 2: so sick of being there that you wanted to just

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Speaker 2: hail Mary over to Belize.

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if I really hated America.

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Speaker 1: I had a pretty comfortable life here. I think I

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Speaker 1: was just it was starting to feel monotonous and I

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Speaker 1: had such what I felt like was such an exciting,

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Speaker 1: appealing opportunity to leave the country and live a different

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Speaker 1: kind of life. I think I just thought that the

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Speaker 1: idea of something completely different really made me want to

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Speaker 1: try it out.

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Speaker 2: And how long did you stay in Belize? Married to

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Speaker 2: this guy?

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Speaker 1: For a couple months? Maybe two months?

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Speaker 2: Okay? And were you living at his house? Were you

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Speaker 2: living with his family?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a place together.

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Speaker 2: Did you have a job there? Did you like what?

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Speaker 2: I guess? What were your plans for being there outside

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Speaker 2: of just being with this guy.

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Speaker 4: I was.

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Speaker 1: I was considering getting a job I never did. I

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Speaker 1: looked into a couple opportunities, but the pay was it

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Speaker 1: was pretty much nothing, and I actually had some bills

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Speaker 1: in the US I had to take care of. So

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Speaker 1: I realized pretty quickly I couldn't like, there was no

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Speaker 1: way I could really take care of myself with any

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Speaker 1: kind of job, in believe, and he wasn't making enough

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Speaker 1: money to even take care of you know, our our

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Speaker 1: bills and believes. So I considered some remote work, you know,

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Speaker 1: like working jobs that are in the US, but just

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Speaker 1: doing it from believe. I kind of I left with

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Speaker 1: the decision like to just go back and forth, you know,

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Speaker 1: find a job that I could work in the United

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Speaker 1: States and then maybe either hybrid remote or full time

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Speaker 1: remote work, so I could go back and forth. But

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Speaker 1: there were a lot of red flags and his behavior

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Speaker 1: was really erratic and scary, so I never actually went

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Speaker 1: back to live there.

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Speaker 2: And how did his behaviors start to change?

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Speaker 1: Where he shouted a lot of jealousy, obsessive jealousy. He

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Speaker 1: was always very quick to apologize for behavior. If he

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Speaker 1: did something that was that really upset me or made

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Speaker 1: me feel uncomfortable, he was at first really quick to apologize.

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Speaker 3: And.

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Speaker 1: He just continued repeating the same behavior. So nothing changed,

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Speaker 1: but a lot of jealousy, Like I wasn't I wasn't

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Speaker 1: really safe or comfortable to hang out with friends or

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Speaker 1: you know, go out and do anything without him calling,

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Speaker 1: texting me over and over and over and over and

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Speaker 1: then getting very angry at me. He had my location.

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Speaker 3: Tracked on.

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Speaker 1: We used different like apps, but he was very insistent

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Speaker 1: on knowing exactly where I was all the time, and

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Speaker 1: he lied about pretty much everything I started finding out

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Speaker 1: as the relationship progressed that everything he told me about

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Speaker 1: who he was, about his family about his life was

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Speaker 1: a lie?

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Speaker 2: What kind of lies?

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Speaker 1: His age? Even his age? He lied to me about

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Speaker 1: his age. He claimed to have a really good relationship

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Speaker 1: with his family, and I met his family, but that

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Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't true. He really he really kind of

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Speaker 1: painted this like fantasy life that he had and none

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Speaker 1: of it was true. He told me he was my age,

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Speaker 1: but he was a year younger than me, which is

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Speaker 1: such a small thing to lie about, and it didn't

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Speaker 1: make sense.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: He told me that he had been because I had

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Speaker 1: been single for about three maybe four years before I

258
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Speaker 1: met him, and he told me he was also single

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Speaker 1: for about three years before.

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Speaker 3: I met him.

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Speaker 1: And then I found this girl had made like a

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Speaker 1: me to post on Facebook about him, claiming that he

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Speaker 1: had like hit her and that he was really abusive

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Speaker 1: towards her and that he was cheating on her with me.

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Speaker 1: Wow and yeah, And he told me, was this.

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Speaker 2: Another was this another? Was this another foreign foreign woman?

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Speaker 2: Or was this was this a girl of Belize?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, she was a girl in Belize. So he

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Speaker 1: told me she was just an ex girlfriend from a

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00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 1: long time ago, and that she was really jealous and crazy,

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Speaker 1: and even his family members told me the same thing

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Speaker 1: as she was crazy. They they hadn't been together for

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Speaker 1: so long. And then over time, slowly it just kept

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Speaker 1: eating at me because a lot of the things that

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Speaker 1: she wrote about in her post started happening to me.

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Speaker 1: She talked a lot about how jealous he was and

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Speaker 1: about how he started trying to control what she did

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Speaker 1: and who she talked to, and the same way as

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Speaker 1: she described it, it started happening to me. So I

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00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 1: kind of kept pressing him about this girl. I was like,

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00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 1: you know, and his answer changed every time. So it

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Speaker 1: went from oh, no, I haven't talked to her in

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00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,719
Speaker 1: three years, to oh, well it was like a couple months,

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Speaker 1: to oh, well, you know, she wanted us to stay together,

285
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Speaker 1: but a couple of days before you and I met,

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Speaker 1: I broke things off with her. You know, the stories

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Speaker 1: just kept changing over the weeks and months.

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Speaker 2: And so when was it that you decided to leave Belize,

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00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 2: leave a past or leave Belize?

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00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 1: I guess September. I left in.

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00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:13,239
Speaker 2: September, and and then and that was after about two

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00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 2: months of being there.

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00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,959
Speaker 1: He said, yeah, just about two months.

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Speaker 2: And I'm curious, what was it that kind of was like,

295
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 2: all right, I gotta leave, and then also was it

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Speaker 2: difficult to get out?

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00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 1: I was. I actually had a trip to Italy planned

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Speaker 1: to visit my best friend who lived there, So it

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00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,439
Speaker 1: was kind of a decision of whether after that trip

300
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 1: if I would go back to Belize or if I

301
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 1: would go to the United States. So I ended up

302
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 1: going back to the United States after that trip. But

303
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 1: he made it very difficult to leave. He didn't want

304
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 1: me to go on this trip. I'd planned it years

305
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 1: in advance, but he was trying to stop me from going.

306
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 1: He told me he was going to hide my passport

307
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 1: so that I couldn't leave. So I actually I slept

308
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: with my passport on my person for days before I left.

309
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 1: And then once I went on that trip, he did

310
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 1: everything he could to try to make my trip miserable.

311
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 1: He asked me, he harassed my friend. He just would

312
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 1: call over and over and over and over, and I

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00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 1: made it really clear, you know, I tried to tell them,

314
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 1: you know, we can talk for like an hour maybe

315
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 1: two hours in the mornings, but I need the rest

316
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,239
Speaker 1: of the time for like me and my friend, and

317
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 1: if anything urgent comes up, just text me and I'll

318
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: get back in touch with you. I shared my location

319
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 1: with him the whole time, but it was it wasn't

320
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: enough for him. He seemed to think I was cheating

321
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 1: on him the entire trip, so I didn't get a

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00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 1: break from that. And when I finally was like, you

323
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 1: know what, I can't do this and I turn off

324
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 1: my phone or block him or you know, just silence

325
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: his messages or notifications, he would start. He would make

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Speaker 1: violent threats about me or my friend.

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Speaker 2: And did you go from Italy back to Belize or

328
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 2: do you go straight from Italy back to the US?

329
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 1: I went straight back to the US. I was like,

330
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Speaker 1: I can't deal with this guy anymore.

331
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 2: Would did you have any belongings that you had to

332
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,360
Speaker 2: leave behind? And believe.

333
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 1: One that I really cared about. I think I had

334
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 1: some clothes and some like toilet trees. But I knew

335
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: before I left on that trip that I was probably

336
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:57,880
Speaker 1: not going to come back.

337
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think it's worth going back to a

338
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 2: crazy Belizian man for some shower gel.

339
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:15,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's definitely not. It got worse and worse to

340
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,879
Speaker 1: the point I'm like, you know what, I need to

341
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: divorce this guy. And around the time I started talking

342
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: to him about you know we need to get a divorce.

343
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: Is when he I guess he had a contact in

344
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 1: the cartel who was able to get him across into

345
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: the US illegally.

346
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 2: How did he find out where you lived?

347
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,959
Speaker 1: It was we had to put our addresses on our

348
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 1: marriage certificate. He knew where I lived. He was also

349
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 1: constantly like he had access to my location. He made

350
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: me download certain acts that would share my location with him,

351
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: so he knew where I was and where I would go.

352
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 2: And so he had a contact in the cartel. Did

353
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 2: you have any idea that did he ever talk about

354
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 2: like the cartel or anything like that with you before?

355
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 1: Towards towards the end, when I was when I was

356
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 1: pretty sure I wanted to end things, he mentioned that

357
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:35,199
Speaker 1: he had like killed people. He claimed to be like

358
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: a gang leader and believe I didn't believe it because

359
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 1: he didn't have any money, you know, But like he

360
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 1: told a lot of kind of stories like that, either

361
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 1: to scare me or he was kind of opening up

362
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 1: about being involved in some bad things. So it wasn't

363
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 1: really surprising to me. I I can't really talk too

364
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:06,159
Speaker 1: much about certain things because of some investigations that are

365
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: going on. But his family is really bad news.

366
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 2: So I was curious about your guys marriage. I mean, like, what,

367
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 2: how how legally binding was this thing? Well, now that

368
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 2: you're back in the US, like do they really give

369
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 2: a fuck about you know, Belizean that's probably not how

370
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 2: you say it, Belizian, belie it's Belizian. It sounds made up.

371
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 2: I feel like I made that. No, Belieze is a country, right,

372
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 2: it's not a city. I'm so dumb. It's a country, right, Yeah.

373
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a country. Their main city is Belize City,

374
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: So oh okay.

375
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: So it's believe Belize.

376
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

377
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 2: I was gonna say the city is so nice they

378
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 2: named it twice, but it sounds kind of like it

379
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 2: was bad for you.

380
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: Now you're fine, beautiful people in Belize, and I really

381
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 1: love the culture and the music is great. It's a

382
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: great travel destination. I just maybe wouldn't get married to

383
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: a stranger if you if you decide to go.

384
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 2: So now you are back in the States. Yeah uh r.

385
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,919
Speaker 2: And so what's what happened with this marriage certificate? Like

386
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 2: is I assume I guess how legally binding is it?

387
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 2: As there is there? Like, what's going on with it?

388
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,959
Speaker 2: I suppose like the legality of the marriage.

389
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 1: It's a really good question. I've been trying to find

390
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: out the answer. I can't really get a clear answer really.

391
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: I mean, technically, you can get married anywhere in the world,

392
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,879
Speaker 1: and it's as long as it's legal in the place

393
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,239
Speaker 1: where you got married, the United States will recognize it.

394
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 1: But it's I mean, in the United States, am I married?

395
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. There were some documents that I had

396
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 1: to fill out for him to start with, like the

397
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: green card process. There's a document in particular that kind

398
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: of claimed him as a family member of mine. I

399
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:18,959
Speaker 1: never filled out any of those. I just had a

400
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:24,719
Speaker 1: really bad feeling about making sure on paper, you know,

401
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 1: the US government recognized him as a family member of mine.

402
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: So I never filled any of that out. But I

403
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 1: don't really know if it's I don't really know if

404
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 1: it's legally binding. I would it is.

405
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 2: So you left Belize in September September of what year two? Okay,

406
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 2: So it's been been a little bit yep, And still.

407
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 1: He came into the US and February of last year,

408
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three.

409
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about that. So he comes into the

410
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 2: US and what happens.

411
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: So he got hot at the border, or I guess

412
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 1: right after he crossed the border, and border patrol or

413
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 1: USCIS or whoever technically asked to like call me two

414
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: or have me fill out documents for me to be

415
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: his sponsor. But they didn't do that. He was just

416
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: kind of you know, he put me down as a sponsor.

417
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: He had our marriage certificate with him, and they shipped

418
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: him over to where I live. I live in North Carolina,

419
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: So they shipped him here and I took him in.

420
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: He claimed that he was scared for his life and

421
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: believe he claim that people were trying to kill him,

422
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: but the story also kept changing over and over and

423
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 1: over again.

424
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 2: So he just kind of shows up at your door.

425
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I picked him up from the airport. But yeah,

426
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 1: he called me like I'm here and I have nowhere.

427
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 3: Else to go.

428
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 2: And were you were? You know, and this was after

429
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 2: he had made these violent threats against you and your friend? Yeah,

430
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 2: were you were you skeptical? Were you afraid of of

431
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 2: of of the sky at that point?

432
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:39,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I thought if he was here, you know,

433
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: I kind of I had a little bit more in

434
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: my head. I had a little bit more of an

435
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: upper hand than when we were in Believe because I

436
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: didn't know anybody else in Believe and I was kind

437
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: of totally at his mercy there. But the way I

438
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: was thinking about it was like, well, here, I have

439
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: a friend, you know, this is my home, Like I

440
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 1: know how things are done here, and he's showing up

441
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: with kind of you know, no idea what's going on

442
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 1: and how to live here, and he made it very

443
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: much like, you know, I was all he had. So

444
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: I thought things were probably going to calm down and

445
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: that he wasn't going to be as aggressive or abusive

446
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: as he had been, which is very naive to think.

447
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 3: But I thought maybe it wouldn't.

448
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 1: Be so bad.

449
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 2: So how does that play out?

450
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: The opposite? Yeah, the opposite. It was really bad. He

451
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 1: started being physically violent about three weeks after he got here,

452
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: and that was pretty much a weekly thing until he left.

453
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: It's a it's a miracle I kept my job because

454
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 1: I had a new job at the time. But yeah,

455
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: there were times I started getting really bad migraines. I

456
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 1: wasn't I pretty much had no relationship with my friends.

457
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: I couldn't really like leave the house or go out

458
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 1: and do anything unless he was with me, So.

459
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 2: How does this eventually end? Like, how does how does

460
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 2: he get out of the picture.

461
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: He he strangled me, and I thought I was going

462
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: to die. It was pretty bad, like I urinated all

463
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: over myself and it was really bad. So I went

464
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: to actually just went to an urgent care, like I

465
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 1: ran and went to an urgent care, and they filed

466
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: a police report and the police finally followed up with me,

467
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:20,719
Speaker 1: and as I was taking the report, he was calling

468
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: me over and over and over and over again. So

469
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: one of the police officers told me to answer his call,

470
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: put it on speaker and not tell him that they

471
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: were there, and my husband just confessed everything. So they

472
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: got him and arrested him, but they almost immediately, like

473
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: after two weeks maybe released him on bail, and then

474
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: he went on the run. And from that point he

475
00:31:56,640 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: was sending me multiple death threats. He like video called me,

476
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: pointed a gun at the camera, told me I was dead,

477
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: a lot of things to try to scare me. But

478
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: his violence as we were living together kept escalating, So

479
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: at that point I really believed that he might hurt me.

480
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: I was really lucky to have some friends that were

481
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: still kind of waiting waiting for me to come back

482
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: and ready to help.

483
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 2: What happened to him? Where's he now? Do we know?

484
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? They caught him. He's in a detention facility in

485
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:54,959
Speaker 1: another state. Yeah, I guess he was arrested on a

486
00:32:54,960 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: domestic violence call in Tennessee and then they they kind

487
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 1: of got him and sent him to a different facility

488
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: to wait deportation.

489
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 2: So he's in jail and he's going to get deported

490
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 2: back into Belize. Yeah, and he has he contacted you

491
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 2: since or do you have him blocked?

492
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: Well, he doesn't. He doesn't have a cell phone, which

493
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 1: is nice. He doesn't really have a way to contact me.

494
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 1: His family members have been kind of sending me threats sporadically.

495
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: I randomly get, you know, a call from a believe

496
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: in number I just have to block. But it's been

497
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: quiet for a while, for a couple of months now,

498
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: it's been really quiet m.

499
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 2: Hm hm, which is nice.

500
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: But now it's you know, it's weird to go from

501
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: something so intense to just regular life again. I don't

502
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 1: know what normal regular life really looks like.

503
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, this is uh, this is pretty crazy.

504
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 2: This is very very crazy story that you're telling us

505
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 2: right now.

506
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's it's hard and very weird too, kind

507
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: of go back to a normal or try to, you know,

508
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 1: figure out what normal is.

509
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: And you're in North Carolina right now, I am. And

510
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 2: do you do you still have that job?

511
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 5: Uh?

512
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 1: I've gone through a couple jobs. I just started a

513
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: brand new one. It's just kind of for safety reasons.

514
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: He knew where I was working before, so I started

515
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:50,439
Speaker 1: a new one.

516
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 2: And do you like that job?

517
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 4: Yeah?

518
00:34:55,400 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love the people I work with. I I

519
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 1: kind of wish I was able to contribute more, I guess,

520
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 1: be more focused. It's been hard to I hear some

521
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: people say that they're able to just drown themselves in

522
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 1: work to avoid thinking about anything else. Oh, yes, I

523
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 1: really envy people who can do that. I can't. I

524
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: wish I had.

525
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:26,439
Speaker 2: More of that, you know. It's it's I don't know, man,

526
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: I think I don't know. I don't know how like

527
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 2: normal human beings like live their life and stuff. But

528
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 2: I always kind of think that. And I don't even

529
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 2: know what a normal human being looks like, or I guess,

530
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 2: I guess I do. I have in my head what

531
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 2: a normal human being is like, but I think there's

532
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 2: a lot of like drowning yourself in stuff. You know,

533
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 2: whether it's whether you're unlucky enough for it to be

534
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 2: you know, drugs and alcohol, or if it's work, or

535
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 2: or even or even if it's spent time with family

536
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: and friends, you know, or or winning super Smash Brothers tournaments.

537
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 2: Everyone's kind of drowning themselves in something because that's I

538
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,319
Speaker 2: guess that's what life is. Is you pick something to

539
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 2: drown yourself in to prevent yourself from going insane, and

540
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 2: then you die. And if you're lucky, you've chosen to

541
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 2: drown yourself and the warmth of your friends and family.

542
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 2: And if if not, you know, you pick something else.

543
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 2: But again I don't I don't know how how normal

544
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 2: human beings operate. But that's that's how I imagine it

545
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 2: to be.

546
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be nice to drown your life in that.

547
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 2: What do you what do you? What do you desire

548
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 2: to do next? What's on what's on the uh on

549
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 2: the docket for you?

550
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 3: I don't know.

551
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: It's gotten it's gotten really difficult to look forward and

552
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 1: imagine the future. M I think I'd like to relocate.

553
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 1: I'm kind of pay here for now, but it would

554
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 1: be nice to go somewhere else in a different state

555
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 1: where you know nobody can find me and just kind

556
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 1: of start fresh there, start new.

557
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 2: Would you consider leaving the country again.

558
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 1: Yes, not Believes, but somewhere else. Yeah, probably nowhere in

559
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 1: Central America. I think I'm good on Central America for

560
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 1: a while.

561
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 2: I think you're good on Central America for a while too.

562
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 2: I think you've seen it. You had the food. It

563
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: was good. You can check it off on your little

564
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 2: map list. Probably good for Believes for the rest of

565
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 2: your life, I would say, depending on depending on how

566
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 2: how high quality that shower gel you left there was.

567
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 2: If it was the really good stuff, then maybe you

568
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 2: make a trip back to Belize. But if if it

569
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 2: was kind of just like something you picked up at Walgreens,

570
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 2: then you know you can leave it.

571
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't. I don't think the shower gel quality

572
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: in Belize is much better than in the United States.

573
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,240
Speaker 1: I think we've got some good stuff here.

574
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 2: I'll be Okay, Well, that's a tough thing. I think

575
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 2: about that all the time. I think about like life restarts,

576
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 2: and I've talked to a lot of people, Uh, you know,

577
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 2: when I've been abroad who've restarted their lives, and you know,

578
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 2: I've thought about doing it myself, and it's it's a

579
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:41,959
Speaker 2: fascinating idea. I mean, you kind of and it's hard

580
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 2: because you kind of tried to do it and it

581
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 2: just went really poorly. And I don't know if that

582
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 2: should necessarily I think I don't know if that should

583
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 2: discourage you from trying to do it again. Maybe you know,

584
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,840
Speaker 2: you've you've learned some safety tips, you know, is to

585
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 2: have you could do it again, but not you know,

586
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: have it be such a crazy, crazy thing. But uh,

587
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 2: you know I would keep that courage that you have.

588
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 2: Whatever the courage was that you know, caught want it

589
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,400
Speaker 2: made you, you know, be like, Okay, I'm going to

590
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 2: take a nice leap with my life, right But you know,

591
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 2: we we we hone it and we we adjust it.

592
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 2: So it's like, Okay, you know, we're gonna have the

593
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 2: courage to go out into a new place and make

594
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 2: new connections and whatnot. But you know, we've learned. Maybe

595
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 2: we don't you know, sign any any marriage certificates or

596
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 2: or do anything super crazy, but something doing something just

597
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 2: crazy enough that it you know, propels you into this

598
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 2: this new place that you want to be, you know, yeah.

599
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 1: Like get really into some crazy hobby.

600
00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 2: Like yeah that sky die sky you're gonna that's skydiving.

601
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know. Skydiving is probably safer than

602
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 2: driving a car. I personally, I mean, I watch videos

603
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 2: all day of horrible skydiving accidents on Twitter, and so

604
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:18,720
Speaker 2: I'm biased against it. But you know, it's I think.

605
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: Any extreme sports.

606
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 2: I don't like extreme sports. I don't think it's worth

607
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 2: you know, don't get I don't like things where you

608
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 2: can get all fucked up. Yeah, yeah, Like why don't

609
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 2: you Why don't you move to China and start a

610
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 2: knitting club and it's just you and you know the

611
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 2: people of China and you're and you're knitting. That could

612
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 2: be fun. So that sounds lovely.

613
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to learn how to knit, but that's

614
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: a good idea. Go off to some like French countryside

615
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:53,240
Speaker 1: and learn how to make you know, French dishes.

616
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, don't that's I guess what I'm trying I

617
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 6: guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope

618
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:04,720
Speaker 6: you don't lose is your sense of adventure and sense of.

619
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 2: You know, desire to keep evolving and changing. But that

620
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 2: but so don't lose that, you know, don't let this

621
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 2: horrible experience, you know, totally freeze you up to the

622
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 2: point where you don't want to go out and live

623
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 2: your life anymore. Right, we don't want that to happen,

624
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 2: but you know, but but take that sense and you know,

625
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 2: don't let it aroad. But also don't let it, you know,

626
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 2: steer you into you know, the bad places. You know,

627
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 2: you know what I'm talking about.

628
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I think it takes some time too

629
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: for healing. I haven't really spent a whole lot of

630
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: time in between adventures, I guess, focusing on healing myself

631
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: and making myself, you know, stronger before jumping into the

632
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: next thing. Sure, sure, sure, I think that healing can

633
00:41:58,560 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: be an adventure in itself.

634
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 2: Sometimes I like that. I like that. You know what

635
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna take that. I'm going to take

636
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 2: that from you. Healing can be an adventure in and

637
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 2: of itself. Sometimes I'm going to take that. I like that.

638
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's the hardest one, sometimes it's the scariest one,

639
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: but it's one of the most important ones.

640
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:19,479
Speaker 2: What's your name again?

641
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 1: Out right?

642
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 2: Right? Well, right right, thanks for sharing your tale with us.

643
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 2: I hope it was helpful to talk about. You know.

644
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 2: You know what. I bet somebody will listen to this

645
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 2: podcast and you you'll you maybe you'll you'll get them

646
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 2: to think twice about their you know, crazy foreign marriage

647
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 2: adventure that they might be embarking on.

648
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 1: That was my hope. That's the plan. Thank you so

649
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: much for having.

650
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 3: Me a while.

651
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 2: Of course, any final words for the people of the

652
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 2: computer before we.

653
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 1: Go, just think twice before doing anything crazy.

654
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 2: Take care, right, Thanks so much. I you know, at

655
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 2: the beginning of Race Call, I was telling her that

656
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 2: I was in an existential crisis mode, and I am.

657
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 2: And whenever I get into an existential crisis mode, my

658
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:17,320
Speaker 2: first instinct is like, okay, well, I'm not getting any younger,

659
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 2: and I have this job that only only every so

660
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 2: often requires me to actually you know, be in a

661
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 2: physical location, and so why don't I go to Thailand

662
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: for a little bit, you know, and see what the

663
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 2: fuck happens. And I do think I'm gonna do that.

664
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 2: I do think it's important to do those things. But

665
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 2: I am inspired by Ray's words of maybe, you know,

666
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: healing and overcoming and reinventing and and tacking on. You know,

667
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,760
Speaker 2: the issues you actually have in your home are already

668
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 2: adventure in and of themselves, and so I'm going to

669
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 2: think about that and what what would you know? As

670
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 2: it's it's my favorite thing in the podcast is when

671
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 2: when the therapy gecko gets therapy echoed. So thank you

672
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 2: very much.

673
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:09,720
Speaker 4: Ray.

674
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi there. What's your name?

675
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,720
Speaker 3: Oh? My name is Mea.

676
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 4: I was at your Syracuse show a few days ago.

677
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: Why are you? Why are you talking like that? You're

678
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 2: like doing a bit.

679
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,280
Speaker 4: I have no idea.

680
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 3: I think I'm kind of like a little I don't want.

681
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 4: To say a little autistic because people don't like when.

682
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 2: It's okay, yeah, that's okay, that's okay.

683
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 4: You know, I think that might be a little bit.

684
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 2: That's okay, that's totally okay. I just I just the

685
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 2: only I didn't say that, I promisedly. I wasn't saying

686
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 2: that to be a dick. I just I was saying

687
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 2: that because I was like, no, you were You don't

688
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 2: have to do that. You can do we can just talk.

689
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 2: It's okay.

690
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 4: Oh it takes a lot to bother me, honestly, So

691
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 4: you're fine.

692
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 2: Okay, I really, I didn't mean to offend you. I

693
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 2: just wanted to tell you, like, you don't have to

694
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 2: because I think some people I think they have to

695
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 2: like do a put on, and you don't. You could

696
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 2: just be be whoever you are. It's okay.

697
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 4: No, I'm just naturally strange. I'm sorry about that.

698
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no no, don't don't be. Just

699
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 2: as long as you're being naturally whatever you are, you

700
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:22,240
Speaker 2: have nothing to apologize for. Oh yeah, anyway, uh Mia

701
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 2: you yes, you you? You mentioned to me over over

702
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 2: this text that you were at my Syracuse show a

703
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 2: few nights to go shout out to Syracuse had a

704
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 2: really fun time this week Syracuse, Albany, Hartford, Connecticut doing shows.

705
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 2: Uh therapic gecotour dot com, go check it out. But anyway,

706
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:45,280
Speaker 2: you said you broke up with your boyfriend after the show?

707
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 2: Was he at? I'm wonder was the show like a

708
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 2: catalyst for this breakup?

709
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 4: Oh so not necessarily. I mean it was like a

710
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 4: couple days.

711
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 3: After, but not long after.

712
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 4: You know, I feel I feel like a bitch, and

713
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 4: I'm kind of like, you know, am I the asshole?

714
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 3: I might be?

715
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 2: I might tell us what happens if you if you

716
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 2: want to.

717
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:24,280
Speaker 4: So, me and my boyfriend, uh we met on TikTok's

718
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 4: very very strange way to meet and he lives in

719
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 4: Michigan and oh god, I he flew out here. He

720
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 4: was supposed to stay till freaking boom till Tuesday, and uh,

721
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 4: I should not be laughing. It's not funny, very sad.

722
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 4: I laugh at sadness.

723
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 5: Uh.

724
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 4: You know, we were we were playing these cards that

725
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 4: were that are like, oh, let's get closer.

726
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 3: Couples of a day.

727
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I know, it's the whole like here's some

728
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 2: questions to build intimacy kind of cards.

729
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

730
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 4: I kind of went like the opposite direction. I just

731
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 4: kind of like, you know, I do thing where it's

732
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 4: like in every relationship, I kind of lie to myself

733
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 4: after a while, which is totally not intentional. I'm like, oh, yeah,

734
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 4: I'm in love, this is great. This is going to

735
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 4: be the rest of my life.

736
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 3: And then there's just kind.

737
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 4: Of like this impending cloud of doom, like oh no,

738
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 4: this is going to be the rest of my life. Yeah,

739
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 4: and then I kind of start freaking out. It's not

740
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 4: that I don't know, I don't know what is So

741
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 4: you know, it's kind of like, oh, what's going on?

742
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 4: You see him a little upset, and I'm like, yeah,

743
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 4: not feeling it, you know. And it was just it

744
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 4: was just like this downward spiral. And I paid for

745
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 4: him to fly home that day.

746
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 2: That that is hold on, hold on, that is funny, Like.

747
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 4: Oh, it's so bad because like he didn't do anything wrong.

748
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 2: That's okay, that's okay. You don't have to. They don't

749
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 2: have to. It's not it doesn't have to be. It

750
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 2: doesn't you know, it doesn't have to be sad. Hold on, Okay,

751
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 2: all right, Well can I can I just real quick

752
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 2: me out, let me, let's rain all of this in

753
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 2: real quick. Okay. So here's how I understand this. All right, So,

754
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 2: so you went to the show with with this guy

755
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 2: that you met on tape. Was see your boyfriend? Or

756
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 2: was he just like a guy that you kind of

757
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 2: met for the first time on to off of TikTok?

758
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 4: So we met on TikTok, but we had meeting up

759
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 4: in person like twice before, Okay, so this was like

760
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 4: third times charm.

761
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 2: All right? So if you do so, he flies from

762
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:03,359
Speaker 2: Misschigan to Syracuse, you guys, was he were you both

763
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 2: at the show. Yeah, did I meet guys?

764
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, we have a picture with you. We were like,

765
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 4: I want to last in line.

766
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, hold like, I'm so sorry. Can you

767
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 2: send me this picture? I want to see if I

768
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 2: remember your faces?

769
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,879
Speaker 4: Oh Jesus, Oh so I just text it to you.

770
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just texted to this phone number. But I'll

771
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 2: talk to I'll talk to you while you're doing it.

772
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 2: It's recent enough that I remember your faces. Maybe, but anyway, Okay,

773
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 2: so you So he flies out from Michigan to Syracuse, Uh,

774
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:39,360
Speaker 2: to hang out with you, go to the show? Uh?

775
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 2: And how long is he in Syracuse for? So with that?

776
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 4: Oh god, that was the first day.

777
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,360
Speaker 2: So he flies in, goes to the show. Okay, he

778
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 2: sent the picture. He hold let me let me let

779
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:59,800
Speaker 2: me see if I remember you guys. Okay, wait a minute,

780
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I told absolutely, Wait hold on, hold on?

781
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 2: Is his name? I don't want to dox him, Brandon.

782
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 2: Let's cut all right, Brandon. Let's me if we can

783
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 2: mute this name from the podcast, because I don't want

784
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 2: to dox him, But tell me if I was right?

785
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 2: Is was his name? Yeah? Ah? Fuck? Yeah? The fuck

786
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 2: all of you guys, who think I don't remember anyone's

787
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 2: name because I fucking remember this guy's name.

788
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, Oh he got it, you got it, I got.

789
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 2: It, I fucking got I'm actually, I actually am so

790
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 2: stoked about that because you listen, if you listen to

791
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:37,280
Speaker 2: this show, you'll listen to me ask people's name about

792
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 2: one hundred times. But yes, I remember this guy. No,

793
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 2: I remember this guy. He had a he had a

794
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 2: vibe going to him. Both both both you guys had

795
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:49,960
Speaker 2: a head a little vibe going. I do remember you guys.

796
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just like, man, he didn't do anything wrong,

797
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 4: you know, I don't know, maybe you don't know, but

798
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 4: just like, not to sound corny, but the vibe is

799
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 4: there or it's not there. And we very much, you know,

800
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:12,320
Speaker 4: connected as friends, but they're the romance it was dead.

801
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:16,359
Speaker 2: I remember his name because he just looks like his name.

802
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 2: He looks like his name. Anyway, listen to me. I

803
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 2: don't think. Okay, you plant you paying for him to

804
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 2: fly home that day. It is funny. Okay, you don't

805
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 2: have to feel bad about I mean, you don't feel

806
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 2: bad about it because it is. It is funny. But

807
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 2: but here's the thing. I don't think there's anything, there's

808
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with uh, just be making this decision of like,

809
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 2: you know what, it's not there. We don't have to

810
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 2: waste time. We don't have to, you know, hang out

811
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 2: in Syracuse for another week while we're not feeling it.

812
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 2: Just just go home. They lick the wounds and we'll

813
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 2: move on. We'll figure it out. It's fine, it's fine.

814
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 4: Like I totally would have waited till after the trick,

815
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 4: Like I did not plan to do this. That's why

816
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 4: I feel like an asshole, because it's like, damn, I

817
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 4: couldn't have waited till Why.

818
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 2: Wait, why wait? What was gonna happen? You decided you

819
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 2: didn't like him? What was that week gonna look like?

820
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 2: That wasn't gonna be a fun week for either of you.

821
00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 2: That was only gonna it was only gonna get worse, right,

822
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 2: because you were gonna be feeling slowly, slowly, more and

823
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 2: more as though you were getting trapped into a thing

824
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 2: that you didn't even want to be in. And he

825
00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 2: was gonna start, he was gonna get more and more

826
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 2: excited and happy and more invested, and it was it

827
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,719
Speaker 2: was just not gonna be a good thing. So, you know,

828
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 2: I don't think there was anything wrong with being you know,

829
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 2: being honest and sending him home and being like, you

830
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,319
Speaker 2: know what, this wasn't gonna work. It was only gonna

831
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 2: get worse. You know you actually did the right thing,

832
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 2: I think because you ended it, uh before before it

833
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 2: got worse.

834
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 4: And he's like, let me pay you back for the

835
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:55,600
Speaker 4: point ticket.

836
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 3: I'm like.

837
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 2: This, it was honestly, honestly kind kind it's still very funny,

838
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 2: but kind of you to pay for the plane ticket back.

839
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 4: Well, it's like, you know, don't we sit there like

840
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 4: four days in awkwardness and then right right right, you know,

841
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:16,280
Speaker 4: let's make it work.

842
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 2: It's like, no, instead, did you pack him a lunch

843
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 2: and give him an apple juice for the flight?

844
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 3: No?

845
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 4: You know I didn't do that, And I do feel bad.

846
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,720
Speaker 3: I could have I can cook.

847
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:31,520
Speaker 2: What was I gonna say?

848
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 3: Oh?

849
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 2: What was the card that made you decide that it

850
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 2: wasn't gonna work?

851
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,680
Speaker 4: Oh? God? Well, you know it was kind of like

852
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 4: one after the other, like questions like like I should

853
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 4: not be laughing. See this is how I feel like

854
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 4: an asshle.

855
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 3: I just I laughed to deal with things.

856
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,959
Speaker 4: I do genuinely feel so bad because he's a great guy,

857
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:58,760
Speaker 4: great friend.

858
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 5: He was a nice Yeah, I liked I Like, it's

859
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:09,760
Speaker 5: like questions like, what what made me fall in love

860
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 5: with you?

861
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 4: Do you remember the moment I fell in love with you?

862
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh God, not really.

863
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:19,040
Speaker 3: It's like, am I supposed to?

864
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 5: You know?

865
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 2: I mean, you just met the guy for the second time?

866
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 3: Well third, but still how how how.

867
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,239
Speaker 2: How long were you guys chatting on the TikTok for?

868
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 4: Oh, but I think I'm bad at timelines.

869
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 3: We've known each other for like a bit over a year.

870
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,959
Speaker 4: Okay, we talked on TikTok for a little bit, went

871
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 4: over to Snapchat kind of weird, but like just talked

872
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 4: on Snapchat and just continuously talked every day. And then,

873
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 4: like I want to say, after being friends for like

874
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,480
Speaker 4: six months or more, we were like, let's try to date.

875
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 4: But I said I wasn't gonna like date him till

876
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 4: I met him in person.

877
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 2: That's a reasonable request. That's a reasonable request.

878
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, It's like, I'm not gonna call you my boyfriend

879
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 4: before I meet you in person, even though I think.

880
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:15,479
Speaker 5: I like you.

881
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 2: Does he is? He? So you guys both came to

882
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 2: my show? Does he also listen to this podcast. I

883
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:20,840
Speaker 2: assume he's gonna hear this.

884
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 4: You know, I don't know if he really does. I

885
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 4: think he sees like the clips on like Instagram and stuff.

886
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 4: He's probably too depressed right now to be doing this.

887
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 2: Look if he's here, Look, because I've met this guy,

888
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,879
Speaker 2: all right, so here's let me and I only knew

889
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 2: him for two seconds, but uh, let me just if

890
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 2: he's listening to this, I'm not gonna say his name

891
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 2: again because we already said we're gonna bleep it once.

892
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 2: But if you're listening to this, okay, listen, I remember you.

893
00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:51,759
Speaker 2: You had a lot of swag. I'm looking at a

894
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 2: picture of you right now. You're a swaggy guy. You're

895
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 2: you got you know, cool hair, you got a good vibe.

896
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 2: You're gonna be fine. I'm gonna I'm gonna give him

897
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 2: a fake name so I can address himself. I'm gonna

898
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 2: call him John. John. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna

899
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 2: be fine, John. You know you'll go You'll find someone else.

900
00:56:14,320 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 5: Please forget probably, Yeah, bounce back.

901
00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,840
Speaker 4: And I kind of feel like it's me problem in

902
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,839
Speaker 4: a way, not to be like the whole cliche. Oh,

903
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 4: it's not you, it's me. But this feels like it

904
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:35,240
Speaker 4: happens in all of my relationships, and I do try

905
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 4: to like take it slow, you know. I do try

906
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 4: to pace myself, make sure I like him. And then

907
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,760
Speaker 4: it's like, all of a sudden, in the middle of stuff,

908
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,719
Speaker 4: I'm like, uh, oh, who.

909
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:50,400
Speaker 3: Is this guy?

910
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 4: Not really who is this guy?

911
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:55,319
Speaker 2: But it's like no, you're right, you're you're sitting in there,

912
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:57,840
Speaker 2: laying in bed, You're looking at him, and you're like,

913
00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:59,919
Speaker 2: who's this random guy in my bed?

914
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 4: Yeah? Like yeah, is this is this the rest of

915
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:04,840
Speaker 4: my life?

916
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 2: That's every that's every that's that's everyone's worst nightmare. That's

917
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 2: really everyone's absolute worst night are both both a guy

918
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:14,800
Speaker 2: and a girl. If you're a guy, there's nothing worse

919
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 2: than when if you're like in bed with someone you've

920
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 2: been dating and you can tell that they just looked

921
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 2: at you and they were like, who is this stranger

922
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 2: in my bed right now? And then for you as well,

923
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 2: you look at them, you're like, why this is insane,

924
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 2: We're just we don't even you could be you could

925
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 2: be dating someone for like five years and look at

926
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 2: them and be like, who's this fucking guy? In my house.

927
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 2: You know, terrifying I've had.

928
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 4: You know, I'm I'm twenty seven. I'm not I'm not

929
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 4: super old. I'm not super young anymore. But it's like,

930
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 4: you know, I don't. I'm kind of like, should I

931
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 4: just not fucking date people anymore?

932
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 1: You know?

933
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 4: I feel like this is a family curse. I had

934
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 4: an uncle who passed away and like his early sixties,

935
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 4: and he was kind of like a player, and I

936
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 4: feel like him, Like he always tried to have a girlfriend.

937
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:17,080
Speaker 4: And like even this one girl, her name was Tammy,

938
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 4: and and my uncle Mike going Tammy. They had a

939
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 4: freaking vibe going. She was sweet, she was cool, and

940
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 4: the like main reason why they broke up was because

941
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 4: she had a fucking dog, Like because my uncle is

942
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 4: like anal about everything and he's like, oh, the dog's

943
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 4: gonna get hair everywhere. And it's like I feel I

944
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 4: feel like him. I feel like we have this this curse.

945
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, Jesus, I have you know what fuck it. I'm

946
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 2: just gonna say this because I'm trying to be I'm

947
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 2: trying to be more authentic on here. I kind of

948
00:58:55,960 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 2: have that curse too, and I'm not I'm gonna be

949
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 2: honest with you, I think it's bad. I would I

950
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 2: would refer to it as a curse. I would definitely

951
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 2: refer to it as a curse.

952
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 4: Sorry, I'm not trying to cut you off.

953
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 2: Here, cut me off, go ahead.

954
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:19,240
Speaker 4: No, it just like I get really into my thoughts

955
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 4: about it, and I'm like, am I the weird one?

956
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,960
Speaker 4: Or are a bunch of other people lying to themselves?

957
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 4: Like does that make sense? Like like maybe maybe all

958
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 4: these other people are just like pretending and feeling weird,

959
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 4: but just they're miserable in their relationship and not talking

960
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:42,880
Speaker 4: about it.

961
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 2: That's why, buddy. Fuck if I know, Fuck if I know,

962
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,439
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know who's happy and who's

963
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 2: not happy. I mean, I mean, look, there's four kinds

964
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 2: of people, right, There's people who are happy in their relationships,

965
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 2: people who are unhappy be in their relationships, people are

966
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:04,440
Speaker 2: happy being single, and people who are unhappy being single.

967
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:13,360
Speaker 2: And all of those people exist in the universe, and

968
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 2: I don't know what necessarily differentiates them. I don't know

969
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:20,479
Speaker 2: what the X factors are. But you know, choose your character, mate.

970
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's just.

971
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 4: I think I gotta stop trying, and I just I

972
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 4: don't know if it can be achieved. I think, you know,

973
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,920
Speaker 4: I think it's all in my head that something's going

974
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 4: to be good, and then it is not.

975
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 3: It's not good.

976
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 2: Well, don't beat yourself up.

977
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 4: Me.

978
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 2: It was nice of you to pay for that guy's flight.

979
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 2: Did you send him home first class? That would have

980
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:48,480
Speaker 2: been really funny.

981
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 4: See about that.

982
01:00:50,880 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 3: We didn't go that far.

983
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:55,440
Speaker 2: Did you at least send him Southwest a boarding group.

984
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 4: I know he was on Southwest.

985
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 3: Don't know about the group.

986
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 2: Oh no, you send them home in the sea. Boy

987
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 2: he got he had to sit in the middle seat

988
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,880
Speaker 2: between a baby and a fat guy.

989
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 4: I know his flight got delayed. He did get home

990
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 4: at like one in the morning. It was pretty quick,

991
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 4: like we broke up and then you got on the

992
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 4: flight like three hours later. My damn, this this happened

993
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 4: real fast. This was not in the itinerary.

994
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:32,320
Speaker 2: Well me, I mean, don't feel it. Don't you know

995
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:34,360
Speaker 2: what I'll say. I'll say one more time before we go.

996
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 2: I think I think you know, I honestly I respect

997
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 2: the genuineness by which you went around, by which you

998
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 2: went through the situation, because you know you didn't want

999
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 2: to drag it out a lot of people will drag

1000
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 2: it out out of fear, you know, because a lot

1001
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 2: of people, by the way, a lot of people have

1002
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 2: this curse that you're referring to, and a lot of

1003
01:01:55,680 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 2: those people do not have the courage to admit it,

1004
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:04,960
Speaker 2: and so they'll drag it out, right. So don't don't

1005
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 2: don't feel too bad. Don't feel too bad. It was

1006
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 2: nice you to pay for this cause flight. Thanks Thanks

1007
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 2: again for coming to the Syracuse show. That was fun.

1008
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:15,840
Speaker 2: I remember the guy who called his dad to telling

1009
01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 2: me drank his piss. That was an ald timer.

1010
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 4: That was my favorite part. Listen if the cannibal girl

1011
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 4: was listening, I'm sorry that was that was kind of cringey,

1012
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:27,520
Speaker 4: kind of kind of out there. I don't know how

1013
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:33,000
Speaker 4: serious she was. I'm scared, but the pee part was

1014
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 4: my favorite. It was a great time. You did a great.

1015
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 2: Job, folks listening. Go to therapy geckotour dot com to

1016
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 2: r s VP for when I come to your city

1017
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 2: or to go to you know something, to go to

1018
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:51,920
Speaker 2: one of the shows. Anyway, Mia, thanks for calling. Uh,

1019
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,479
Speaker 2: there's anything else I want to say to the people

1020
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:54,600
Speaker 2: of the computer before we go.

1021
01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 4: You know, guys, I don't think I'm an asshole. You know,

1022
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 4: I can't pretend. I can't hide. If I could, I

1023
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 4: would have, but that.

1024
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 3: Might have been worse.

1025
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 4: So hopefully I've got some supporters out there, and definitely

1026
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 4: goes a therapy Gecko show. It was worth it. It

1027
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 4: should not end your relationship.

1028
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 2: All right, take care, Thanks MAA.

1029
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,120
Speaker 4: Well, thank you, Bobe bye.

1030
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:26,880
Speaker 2: Actually it's kind of funny. So I did a show.

1031
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, was it last No, it's two nights ago.

1032
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:34,600
Speaker 2: I did a show in Hartford, Connecticut, shout out Hartford, Connecticut,

1033
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:39,840
Speaker 2: and this couple came on stage because this woman submitted

1034
01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 2: an entry to come on stage saying that her she

1035
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,480
Speaker 2: almost s broke up with her boyfriend when they went

1036
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 2: to my show in New York because her boyfriend like

1037
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 2: didn't want her because she tried. She tried to wear

1038
01:03:55,320 --> 01:04:02,920
Speaker 2: a gecko costume to the show and her boyfriend wouldn't

1039
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:10,120
Speaker 2: let her. And because the reason why is because he

1040
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 2: said there could only be one gecko and he was

1041
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 2: like trying to he was trying to like defend my honor.

1042
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:26,000
Speaker 2: But they are still together anyway. Thanks, thanks for thanks

1043
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 2: for calling. Yeah, goes on the line, taking your phone

1044
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 2: calls every night, Deacon goes to his side.

1045
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 6: He's teaching you a loud of your life, but he's

1046
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:39,120
Speaker 6: not really an expert.