1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

2
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:03,560
Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

3
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,640
Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up.

4
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,000
Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

5
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,200
Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show alive. My boyfriend

6
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,040
Speaker 3: refused to marry me because of something he saw on

7
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:13,680
Speaker 3: my phone.

8
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 2: Oh well, what did you see?

9
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:19,200
Speaker 3: My boyfriend thirty one male and I thirty one female,

10
00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:22,160
Speaker 3: went out of town this weekend to celebrate our anniversary.

11
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,919
Speaker 3: We spent the day doing activities around the city and

12
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,320
Speaker 3: then went out to dinner. He's not much of a drinker,

13
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,520
Speaker 3: but since we were celebrating, he decided to have a

14
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,639
Speaker 3: few drinks. By the way, this comes from Brave Kangaroo

15
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,199
Speaker 3: five nine one, and if you want to smit your

16
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,440
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it.

17
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,839
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, and I'm Savannah and I'm Dakona, and we're

18
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,760
Speaker 2: here to give good advice. Goofully, But we don't have

19
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:43,920
Speaker 2: all the answers.

20
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,040
Speaker 3: We only know what we do, so let us know

21
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,200
Speaker 3: what you would do in the comments and OPI says

22
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,360
Speaker 3: when we got back to the hotel, he was definitely wasted,

23
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,280
Speaker 3: but I still wanted to enjoy the night, so we

24
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,440
Speaker 3: started watching TV.

25
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,720
Speaker 2: Out of nowhere, he suddenly.

26
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:01,040
Speaker 3: Said, I went through your phone saw that you cheated

27
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,480
Speaker 3: on your ex fiance. I could never marry someone like that.

28
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,000
Speaker 3: He also kept saying, I've known for a long time,

29
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,840
Speaker 3: I just never brought it up. If you want to

30
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,360
Speaker 3: be with me, you need to be honest. I was

31
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,039
Speaker 3: engaged back in twenty fourteen, and apparently he had gone

32
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,160
Speaker 3: way back through my phone and found old text messages

33
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,039
Speaker 3: and photos from that time. I'm a bit of a

34
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,399
Speaker 3: hoarder when it comes to messages and photos. I just

35
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,160
Speaker 3: never think to delete them. I have text messages going

36
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,160
Speaker 3: back to twenty twelve. The thing is, everything he saw

37
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,080
Speaker 3: was from after my ex and I had already broken up.

38
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,959
Speaker 3: I tried to explain that, but he wouldn't listen genuinely.

39
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,760
Speaker 3: That's like, I don't know if there is much that

40
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 3: you can do to save this. If he already went

41
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:48,560
Speaker 3: through your phone all the way back trying to find

42
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,720
Speaker 3: something on you, there's already a breach of trust in

43
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,800
Speaker 3: this relationship. Yeah, and it went on for years, he said,

44
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,320
Speaker 3: He's known for I don't know a while, Yeah, a while,

45
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,080
Speaker 3: sod assume maybe years, maybe months, maybe days, who knows

46
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,000
Speaker 3: how much a while is.

47
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,840
Speaker 2: But like he knew and he didn't say anything, and

48
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,440
Speaker 2: he's just like, you did this, and now I hate you.

49
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,960
Speaker 2: I can never marry heard. And also the fact that

50
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,520
Speaker 2: you didn't even cheat. Yeah, he started.

51
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,000
Speaker 3: Yelling and calling me awful names like witch and which

52
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,200
Speaker 3: those are the same names like witch and which. Twice

53
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,720
Speaker 3: he kept saying I was a terrible person and that

54
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,320
Speaker 3: he could never marry someone like me. It got so

55
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,680
Speaker 3: bad that when he went to the bathroom, I went

56
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,560
Speaker 3: downstairs and asked hotel security to help me get my

57
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,760
Speaker 3: things so I could leave safely. Security came up with me,

58
00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,520
Speaker 3: and even then he kept trying to convince me not

59
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,960
Speaker 3: to leave. Security had to tell him several times that

60
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,440
Speaker 3: he couldn't stop me if I wanted to go. I

61
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,280
Speaker 3: ended up going to a relative's house nearby for the night.

62
00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,760
Speaker 3: Since then, he's been texting me non stop, telling me

63
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,680
Speaker 3: I'm not marriage material, that I'm a bad person for

64
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,960
Speaker 3: leaving him there, and that he could never trust me.

65
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,160
Speaker 3: I'm honestly really hurt and confused. I've never cheated on

66
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,880
Speaker 3: him or my ex for that matter. Does he have

67
00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,519
Speaker 3: a right to be upset? Is this something worth trying

68
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,240
Speaker 3: to work through. And there are some comments, but what

69
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,239
Speaker 3: are your comments?

70
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:16,000
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like I can't take you seriously, Yes

71
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,080
Speaker 1: you can. You're trying to give me good advice.

72
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:23,160
Speaker 2: You can't take women seriously. Yeah, that's misogynistic.

73
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,560
Speaker 1: As you know, I'm one of the ladies that's messed up.

74
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:27,640
Speaker 2: That's what's up.

75
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,639
Speaker 1: That's that's what's up.

76
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:33,240
Speaker 2: That's me so jenistic. That's good, that was good. I'm

77
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,040
Speaker 2: stealing that. I think he's cheating on you. Yeah, I

78
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,520
Speaker 2: think all of the comments that are saying that are right. Yeah.

79
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,680
Speaker 4: I think that he's just finding any reason to be angry.

80
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,160
Speaker 4: Like I feel like if he really, you know, liked you,

81
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,800
Speaker 4: he would sit down and have the conversation of being like, okay,

82
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,880
Speaker 4: this like has bothered me maybe for a little while

83
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,840
Speaker 4: or whatever, and I just wanted to bring this up whatever.

84
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,080
Speaker 2: Instead it's just accuse, accused, accuse accused.

85
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,680
Speaker 4: I'm gonna make you feel bad for doing something when

86
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:58,960
Speaker 4: you didn't even know who I was.

87
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:03,480
Speaker 2: And now we're not getting married, yeah, like now you're done. Yeah.

88
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,800
Speaker 3: I think just the fact that he looked through years, yeah,

89
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,240
Speaker 3: years of your text that's crazy. He was hunting something

90
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,720
Speaker 3: down which makes me feel like he wanted something to

91
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,480
Speaker 3: be mad about to distract from whatever.

92
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,039
Speaker 2: Bad thing he did.

93
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:23,039
Speaker 3: Cory Nah worries, mate, honey, he's.

94
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,440
Speaker 2: The one that's not marriage material.

95
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:29,480
Speaker 3: Dump forthwith ooh, two kids, three cats, and thank god

96
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,080
Speaker 3: he outed himself as a complete jack butt before you

97
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:36,720
Speaker 3: actually did make things government official. No appointment seven two

98
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,920
Speaker 3: three two says you said that I loved Why are

99
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,599
Speaker 3: you trying to argue with me? Giving you what you want?

100
00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:47,760
Speaker 3: Then stop responding. S new Levins suggests that Op should

101
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,640
Speaker 3: say it's over, don't ever contact me again, then block

102
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,320
Speaker 3: him on everything. Quiet Walk says, rethink everything, put it

103
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:59,920
Speaker 3: into consideration. Don't marry someone like him. This dude is men,

104
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,119
Speaker 3: manipulative and controlling. Sorry that happened to you, Op says,

105
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,680
Speaker 3: thank you for being kind. I know I need to leave.

106
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,279
Speaker 3: I just needed to hear it out loud. I wanted

107
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,360
Speaker 3: to call a friend or family member, but I really

108
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,560
Speaker 3: don't like getting them involved. I just needed to feel

109
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,240
Speaker 3: validated in my decision.

110
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:22,720
Speaker 2: New leanin nud Are you still out of town? Are

111
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:23,320
Speaker 2: you safe?

112
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,400
Speaker 3: Do you have a way to get back home without him?

113
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,359
Speaker 3: Are you guys currently living together? Sorry for all the questions,

114
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,880
Speaker 3: but he doesn't sound like a safe person to be around.

115
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,839
Speaker 3: Op says, that's another big concern for me. I'm back home,

116
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,200
Speaker 3: but we still live together and judgment not the AO

117
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,960
Speaker 3: and there is an update.

118
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:45,680
Speaker 2: One day later. Hmm hmm.

119
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:51,800
Speaker 4: I would have to say, this man is trash. It's

120
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,760
Speaker 4: annoying that he's like trying to find all this stuff

121
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,800
Speaker 4: on you. Is there like a reason for him to

122
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,880
Speaker 4: feel this way, Like are you just not mentioning you know,

123
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,159
Speaker 4: like Okay, I did do this one thing and you know,

124
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,680
Speaker 4: like you know, are we not getting all of the story,

125
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,760
Speaker 4: because like why would he think that he needs like

126
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,360
Speaker 4: a reason to like get mad at you or like

127
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,080
Speaker 4: just go through your stuff.

128
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,640
Speaker 2: And like be like oh yeah yeah yeah this this

129
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,880
Speaker 2: and the other thing. Oh yeah, it's just so strange.

130
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,760
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah this person, this person, yeah yeah yeah, Like

131
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,120
Speaker 2: that's crazy. There's no need for that. Just have a

132
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:24,039
Speaker 2: conversation literally one day later.

133
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,159
Speaker 3: Now for some context about what he found in my

134
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,880
Speaker 3: phone back in twenty fourteen, I was engaged. He came

135
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,839
Speaker 3: across pictures of me with another man taken in early

136
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:38,080
Speaker 3: twenty fifteen, someone who obviously wasn't my fiance since he

137
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,280
Speaker 3: didn't know when my ex and I had broken up.

138
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,800
Speaker 3: He jumped to the conclusion that I cheated. I'm not

139
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,719
Speaker 3: saying that excuses his reaction, but I wanted to clarify

140
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:51,400
Speaker 3: the situation. It honestly just seems like self sabotage. He could,

141
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,279
Speaker 3: honestly never let himself be happy in our relationship. It

142
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,960
Speaker 3: has always been like this, and I should have seen

143
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,200
Speaker 3: this as a red flag from the beginning. When I

144
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,320
Speaker 3: got home on Sunday morning, I took some time to

145
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:05,400
Speaker 3: process everything and figure out my next steps. I followed

146
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,400
Speaker 3: your advice and called my mom and best friend. They

147
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,800
Speaker 3: were both incredibly supportive and helped me think clearly. I

148
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,960
Speaker 3: decided to go back to my hometown for a few

149
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,600
Speaker 3: days to give him space and time to move out.

150
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,880
Speaker 3: On Saturday night, during one of his angry texts, he

151
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,600
Speaker 3: mentioned he'd be out of the house by Thursday. On

152
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,160
Speaker 3: Sunday night, I locked myself in my bedroom while he

153
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,920
Speaker 3: slept on the couch. I even kept my phone under

154
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,240
Speaker 3: my pillow just in case. But thankfully, everything was uneventful.

155
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,960
Speaker 3: He leaves early for work, so this morning I packed

156
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,679
Speaker 3: my things and left. My plan was to stay gone

157
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,600
Speaker 3: until Thursday, when he could move out, but I'll be honest,

158
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,840
Speaker 3: and I know some of you might shake your heads.

159
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,000
Speaker 3: I couldn't leave without knowing I.

160
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,320
Speaker 2: Had proven the truth.

161
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,800
Speaker 3: I went through my Google photos and old messages and

162
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,239
Speaker 3: found the final conversation between me and my ex fiance,

163
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 3: which confirmed what I already knew. We broke up at

164
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,000
Speaker 3: the end of twenty fourteen. Yeh, I'm sorry your husban

165
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,760
Speaker 3: gaslit you into thinking maybe you.

166
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,360
Speaker 2: Did cheat on your ex. What is he trying to

167
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,200
Speaker 2: get out of this, like to just make you feel bad?

168
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, I don't understand I never cheated. So I

169
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,240
Speaker 3: sent him a long message. It really does feel like op.

170
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,360
Speaker 3: He wasn't even looking for receipts, just looking for confirmation

171
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:19,920
Speaker 3: that she didn't cheat on her ex.

172
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:24,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like like, yeah, you would just know, Like

173
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,800
Speaker 4: I don't think you would forget that.

174
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:26,120
Speaker 2: No.

175
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,720
Speaker 3: I told him I was done and that I did,

176
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,640
Speaker 3: in fact expect him to be out by Thursday. I

177
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,800
Speaker 3: also told him there was no one doing the things

178
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,640
Speaker 3: he said or how he treated me, and that I

179
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,760
Speaker 3: was finally at peace knowing I told the truth and

180
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,600
Speaker 3: that I hadn't cheated on him or anyone else. I

181
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,960
Speaker 3: also included the screenshot of the final text message between

182
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,880
Speaker 3: me and my ex confirming the timeline. He read the

183
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,000
Speaker 3: message and immediately tried to backfract saying we both heard

184
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,000
Speaker 3: each other a new time to process things we both did.

185
00:08:55,679 --> 00:09:00,680
Speaker 4: Yeah nobody, huh Nope, I mean this guy like himself

186
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:05,040
Speaker 4: in the foot. Yeah, he's like, Oh, if I like

187
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,400
Speaker 4: keep digging this hole, I think that I'll end up

188
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,680
Speaker 4: on the other side. Yeah, nobody, You're just gonna keep

189
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,560
Speaker 4: going down and down and down.

190
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,720
Speaker 2: There's no china on the other side of that hole.

191
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,920
Speaker 2: It's just gonna be lava. Yeah. He was completely wrong,

192
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,719
Speaker 2: and now that he knows that, he's trying to walk

193
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,600
Speaker 2: it all back. I'm not standing for that. He's so

194
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,480
Speaker 2: delusional that he feels like he can gaslight me into

195
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,880
Speaker 2: believing that I heard him in some way over something

196
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,319
Speaker 2: that happened a decade ago and I didn't even know him.

197
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,800
Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left to this story.

198
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,320
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts.

199
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,040
Speaker 3: I just think he's a big poope and I agree

200
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,559
Speaker 3: with you completely big old poopeed.

201
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,680
Speaker 2: Not worth marrying. Glad you got out before he married him.

202
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,760
Speaker 2: Poo poop pooh, get him out. Not fluffy enough.

203
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,600
Speaker 3: On to the next, but there is a little bit

204
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,760
Speaker 3: left to this story. He did apologize for calling me

205
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,800
Speaker 3: out of my name, but that's nowhere near enough. I

206
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,640
Speaker 3: feel strong in my decision to leave, knowing I did

207
00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:05,200
Speaker 3: everything I could in that relationship. I'm so thankful for

208
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,840
Speaker 3: all of you who offered encouragement and advice during such

209
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,120
Speaker 3: a dark time. It truly helped me find my strength again.

210
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,560
Speaker 3: I know I probably should have just let him think

211
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,920
Speaker 3: whatever he wanted to, but I just couldn't help myself.

212
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,240
Speaker 3: Now that I'm safe and away from him, I can

213
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,080
Speaker 3: answer any other questions you might have. I hope I

214
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,960
Speaker 3: didn't miss anything. And Jojo Monster says, just make sure

215
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,000
Speaker 3: you don't end up taking him back at a pity

216
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,240
Speaker 3: or anything. He's shown his true colors and he's clearly

217
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,880
Speaker 3: going to manipulate you to try to come back to him.

218
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,840
Speaker 3: Stay clear, b lock him, and move on. Op says,

219
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,520
Speaker 3: thank you for that. As I sat with myself, I

220
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,320
Speaker 3: really came to realize that even if his timeline of

221
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,120
Speaker 3: events were true, that didn't give him a right to

222
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,440
Speaker 3: disrespect me and call me out of my name.

223
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,160
Speaker 2: Call me out of my name, Yeah, it's like calling

224
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,800
Speaker 2: someone like, you know, a witch.

225
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,800
Speaker 4: Instead of like your actual name, like calling them any

226
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:56,360
Speaker 4: other name.

227
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,000
Speaker 2: But that that's when I read a story yesterday like

228
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,559
Speaker 2: that said that. It's like I've agree with that. I've

229
00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:06,240
Speaker 2: connected the dots here. As you can tell, my brain's

230
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,040
Speaker 2: working in this fluff. It's really he no hold on guys,

231
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:14,040
Speaker 2: let me just research. Yeah, I was right. Thank you

232
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 2: so much. I'm glad that we have that tool. You're welcome.

233
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,720
Speaker 3: That's something I will never be able to get past

234
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:23,200
Speaker 3: because that's truly how he feels about me. Jojo Monster says, absolutely,

235
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:24,520
Speaker 3: it's toxic.

236
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,400
Speaker 2: There's a way to have a disagreement and argument but.

237
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,640
Speaker 3: Still be respectful to each other about it while expressing yourselves.

238
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:32,720
Speaker 2: Keep it in mind for future partners.

239
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,640
Speaker 3: Shiny Artist says, we bother at each other, implies you

240
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 3: standing up for yourself is hurting him.

241
00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:40,320
Speaker 2: What a joke.

242
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,520
Speaker 3: Don't fall for the crocodile tears or love bombing. I

243
00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,240
Speaker 3: have a strong feeling he will love bomb you, but

244
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,800
Speaker 3: bad patterns will just repeat themselves. Ope, he says yep,

245
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,640
Speaker 3: not excusing any of his behavior from Saturday night. But

246
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,080
Speaker 3: even after you sober up, you're still trying to make

247
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,440
Speaker 3: yourself the victim that tells me everything that I need

248
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,440
Speaker 3: to know, and instead of manning up and giving a

249
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,079
Speaker 3: sincere apology, you'd rather try to make both of us

250
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,480
Speaker 3: at fault, working Mountain says, we both are at each other.

251
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,240
Speaker 3: Excuse me, when did you hurt him? He heard himself

252
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,040
Speaker 3: by going through your phone decade long history. Almost as

253
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,960
Speaker 3: if you find something anything to pin you down with,

254
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:25,480
Speaker 3: you're so so better off without that weight dragging you down. Oh,

255
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,640
Speaker 3: he says, exactly, like, how manipulative can you be? You

256
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,760
Speaker 3: hurt yourself by going to look for something to fit

257
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,640
Speaker 3: your narrative, and when you found something over a decade

258
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,480
Speaker 3: ago you thought you could use against me, you waited

259
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,840
Speaker 3: until you were wasted to tell me how you really

260
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:43,280
Speaker 3: felt about me. Oh well, it's literally comical the way

261
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:47,160
Speaker 3: this is unfolding, And it's not comical. How over that

262
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,240
Speaker 3: story is because it is over now?

263
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,640
Speaker 2: Ha I mean it's not funny.

264
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,920
Speaker 3: Sorry you said comical. I immediately went for ha ha.

265
00:12:56,679 --> 00:13:00,160
Speaker 3: But that is that's yeah, thank you, That is the

266
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,240
Speaker 3: end of that story. Oh, Pe, you made the right decision.

267
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,320
Speaker 2: To leaving this guy. Yeah, I agree. I think he's

268
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,080
Speaker 2: a big, flabby piece of poop. I didna like it.

269
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,600
Speaker 3: Gee and very manipulative, very much does only cares about himself. Yeah,

270
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,200
Speaker 3: is gonna probably just be like that for the rest

271
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,240
Speaker 3: of his life, So let him go. Let him be miserable.

272
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,120
Speaker 3: That's what he wants it it's literally what he wants.

273
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,360
Speaker 3: He wants to be miserable. Yeah, but that is the

274
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,240
Speaker 3: end of that story, and we've got another one coming

275
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:25,679
Speaker 3: write up.

276
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,960
Speaker 2: Woo. I refuse to take care of my boyfriend's dog,

277
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,880
Speaker 2: so I made him re homet t hat your dog?

278
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,360
Speaker 4: Judging from the title, I know I immediately sound like.

279
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,360
Speaker 2: A huge a hole, but please hear me out.

280
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,160
Speaker 4: I nineteen female, have been dating my boyfriend, eighteen male

281
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,800
Speaker 4: for about two years now.

282
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,720
Speaker 2: I will call him Nate for the sake of this post.

283
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:52,480
Speaker 3: Ew no offense to Nate's But by the way, this

284
00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:54,960
Speaker 3: comes from even Rabbit seven seven to two seven And

285
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,440
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

286
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,640
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay story time subread. I am Savannah,

287
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,840
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're here to give you

288
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,840
Speaker 3: some good advice. Goofly, But obviously we don't have all

289
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,800
Speaker 3: the answers. We would only tell you what we would

290
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,880
Speaker 3: do in this situation. So tell us what you would

291
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:16,000
Speaker 3: do in the comments, as op you say's important background

292
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,080
Speaker 3: info Here we go wind it back. I recently moved

293
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,960
Speaker 3: out of my parents' house to my new apartment in

294
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,880
Speaker 3: July of this year. I have been saving for this

295
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,920
Speaker 3: for over a year and have waited for this since

296
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,200
Speaker 3: I was a kid. I lived with my mom and stepdad,

297
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,120
Speaker 3: who have drinking problems with horrible anger issues. It was

298
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,760
Speaker 3: miserable at home, and I could not have been more

299
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,120
Speaker 3: excited when I finally saved enough to move out and

300
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 3: live alone. About a year ago. When I first mentioned

301
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,120
Speaker 3: to Nate that I would be saving up for an apartment,

302
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,600
Speaker 3: he asked if he could move out of his parents'

303
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,760
Speaker 3: house too and we could live together. I briefly considered it,

304
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,040
Speaker 3: but I knew that I would need at least a

305
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,200
Speaker 3: year of living on my own before I felt like

306
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 3: it was a smart decision to move in together.

307
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,560
Speaker 2: Smart, smart, good job, Opie.

308
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna have to give you some snap snaps

309
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,640
Speaker 3: for that nineteen year old female, Opie.

310
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,720
Speaker 2: Not a lot of people are smart like that. You

311
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,800
Speaker 2: did it. You crack the code, op We are.

312
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,760
Speaker 3: Very young and I need to experience living alone. And

313
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,440
Speaker 3: prove to myself that I'm capable of full independence and

314
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,920
Speaker 3: grace snaps for that as snaps.

315
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,880
Speaker 4: My mom does not work, and I have watched her

316
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,000
Speaker 4: be fully dependent on my horrible stepdad and decided at

317
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,440
Speaker 4: a young age that I would never let myself financially

318
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,280
Speaker 4: depend on a man.

319
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:36,320
Speaker 1: Snap.

320
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 2: Oh yes, come home, babe.

321
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,560
Speaker 3: So I needed to learn how to live on my

322
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,120
Speaker 3: own and do things for myself. Nate and I plan

323
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 3: on getting married one day, so from my perspective, we

324
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 3: have a whole lifetime to spend living together, and it

325
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,200
Speaker 3: is really important to me that I take this first

326
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:59,360
Speaker 3: year to experience independence is so validus, it's so great.

327
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,160
Speaker 3: You're clicking it out of here, like live on your own,

328
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,040
Speaker 3: figure it out and be like okay, yeah, I.

329
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,440
Speaker 2: Can do this. He is literally no rush to get married,

330
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 2: not at all, no rush.

331
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,080
Speaker 4: Nate was really hurt by my decision and did not

332
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 4: understand why I would not want to live together. He

333
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 4: said it would help me save money and would bring

334
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 4: us closer and assured me that he would be an

335
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:25,040
Speaker 4: amazing roommate. I explained my reasoning and he has since

336
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 4: then come to somewhat accept it, but he is definitely

337
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,840
Speaker 4: sad about it and feels hurt, despite my reassurance that

338
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,520
Speaker 4: it has nothing to do with him or my feelings

339
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,000
Speaker 4: for him, that it is just really important to me.

340
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,800
Speaker 4: In the last few months, Nate has been sending me

341
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:44,080
Speaker 4: videos on Instagram of cute Rottweilers and expressing how adorable

342
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,040
Speaker 4: they are and how he wants to get one someday.

343
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,640
Speaker 4: It is important to note that he lives at home

344
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,480
Speaker 4: with his family in a very confined house. His two

345
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,000
Speaker 4: older sisters live there as well, and as a family,

346
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,120
Speaker 4: they have three dogs and two cats. Whoa Yeah, you

347
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,680
Speaker 4: can't put another thing in there.

348
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 2: Most you could do is a fit. That's true. I

349
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,359
Speaker 2: have two fish that I take care of. They're not mine,

350
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 2: but I have two fish. Since one do you have

351
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 2: two fish? Their names are Venus short for Venosaur, and

352
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,679
Speaker 2: gup Brie. That's the full name, okay.

353
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,880
Speaker 4: One of these dogs was actually one that we rescued

354
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,520
Speaker 4: last year from the street when it.

355
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,960
Speaker 2: Was a puppy. Oh.

356
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 3: He promised his family that he would fully take care

357
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,760
Speaker 3: of it, so they allowed him to keep it, but

358
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,240
Speaker 3: within a month he gave it to his sister for

359
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,439
Speaker 3: her to take care of because it just came to

360
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,159
Speaker 3: be too much for him to handle. He works as

361
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,960
Speaker 3: a firefighter. Our high school had a career center where

362
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,680
Speaker 3: you can go for half the day and get certified

363
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 3: for different things like cosmetology or firefighting. That's cool, half

364
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,119
Speaker 3: certified to be a firefighter.

365
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 2: That seems unsafe. That's not right, Like half a day

366
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 2: for cosmetology school, did they have a day for firefighting?

367
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,880
Speaker 2: Imagine they just like, all right, this is the pool,

368
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,359
Speaker 2: you gotta go down. Everyone do it, and they just

369
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 2: focus on that and that's it. That's it.

370
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 4: In cosmetology, they're like, this is hair, this is pencil, eyeliner. Yeah,

371
00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 4: and they're like, no, what the difference is that is

372
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,480
Speaker 4: that it am I CERTATSL.

373
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,560
Speaker 3: Firefighters Like, okay, this is the pencil that you're gonna

374
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 3: be using before you go to here, but you go

375
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:26,119
Speaker 3: to the fire this is the eyeliner is a ho,

376
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,359
Speaker 3: this is me? I actually can we learn about the

377
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,400
Speaker 3: fire safety stuff? And like no, no, no, you have

378
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 3: to start out with the basics. Eyeliner, pencil. Fire safety guys.

379
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,800
Speaker 3: You have to look fire to save people from fires.

380
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,640
Speaker 2: And you have to be hot. I don't make the rules.

381
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,679
Speaker 4: And because of this, he has gone every third day

382
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 4: for twenty four hour shifts. One day, while he was

383
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,119
Speaker 4: at work, he called me and told me with so

384
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,359
Speaker 4: much excitement that he found a breeder on Facebook marketplace

385
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 4: that had a wider puppy listed in our area. I

386
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,119
Speaker 4: asked him if he already he asked his parents and

387
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 4: he said not yet. I told him I really did

388
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,679
Speaker 4: not want to be unsupportive or rain on his parade,

389
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 4: but it really made no sense to get a puppy

390
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 4: right now.

391
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, if he's a full time firefighter, I don't know

392
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,880
Speaker 2: if you have time to take care of a puppy.

393
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,919
Speaker 3: That's literally my ex is a firefighter who takes care

394
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 3: of a puppy. No, he was a steel worker and

395
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 3: he was, but he was like on call sometimes and

396
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,879
Speaker 3: he would work like twelve hours. Yeah, like on and

397
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,880
Speaker 3: off and whatever. And it's just like, you can't leave

398
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 3: the dog.

399
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 2: There for that long.

400
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 3: And the thing is that he, just like before when

401
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 3: he had his sister take care of the dog, is

402
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,440
Speaker 3: expecting you to take care of the dog.

403
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the other thing.

404
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 4: Like, so in my situation, he got another dog to

405
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 4: entertain that dog, and I'm like.

406
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 2: Stop eating more dogs?

407
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 1: Why? Why?

408
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:51,240
Speaker 4: Where's the logic in this anyway, I feel you, Opie,

409
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 4: because I didn't support it either. I explained that he

410
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 4: already had a puppy and quickly found out he was

411
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,720
Speaker 4: not cut out to take care of one right now.

412
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 4: He said he would treat it like a son and

413
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,679
Speaker 4: do anything to get it, and that he has always

414
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 4: wanted aarati, so it would be different than Zoro, the

415
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 4: puppy we rescued last year.

416
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 2: He's like, I didn't want that dog. That dog was ugly. Yeah.

417
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 2: I was like, well, I thought it would grow up

418
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 2: to be a Rottweiler, but his sun's out. It's just

419
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 2: this mutt.

420
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 3: You know.

421
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 2: Don't worry.

422
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 3: I'll take care of my dog this time, because he's

423
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 3: the dog that I like.

424
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:23,399
Speaker 2: I didn't care what the other ones.

425
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 3: I like.

426
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,159
Speaker 2: You know what, this one's got good eyes. I like

427
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,879
Speaker 2: the eyes on this one. Let's take it. That's what

428
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 2: he's saying. I told him that.

429
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 3: While I really did not think it was a good idea,

430
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 3: it was ultimately his decision, but that I wanted to

431
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 3: be absolutely clear upfront that he could not have the

432
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 3: dog over at my apartment. I have two cats of

433
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 3: my own and will be taking care of my sister's

434
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,920
Speaker 3: two cats while she is traveling for the next year.

435
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 3: So I have four cats I am responsible for and

436
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 3: cannot handle a dog. I told him to promise me

437
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 3: he understood that, and that if he decided to get

438
00:20:56,240 --> 00:21:00,080
Speaker 3: the puppy, under no circumstances would the responsibility fall on me.

439
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 3: He seemed bummed about this response, but he promised.

440
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 4: Fast forward about two weeks and he calls me and

441
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,919
Speaker 4: tells me he bought the dog. My chest felt like

442
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,639
Speaker 4: it fell into my stomach. But I knew how happy

443
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,120
Speaker 4: he was, so I told him that is really exciting

444
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 4: and I am happy for him. I asked him what

445
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 4: his parents thought, and he tells me he has not

446
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 4: told him yet.

447
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 3: Uh. This guy just seems like super I mean, I

448
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 3: know he's eighteen, but does seem incredibly immature and just

449
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 3: impulsive impulsive, which again, they are both young. However, oh

450
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 3: Pe feels like the type of person who thinks about

451
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 3: things and thinks things through. It just seems more mature

452
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 3: than her boyfriend, which makes me feel like they're not

453
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 3: the best match. Yeah, they're at different mental levels, you know.

454
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 4: It seems like he is only really thinking about himself

455
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 4: and what he wants and also just think not even

456
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 4: thinking long term, like being like, oh, I really want

457
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 4: this right now, Like, but how are you gonna, like,

458
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 4: you know, care for it. When are you gonna care

459
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 4: for it? Who's gonna take care of it? If you

460
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 4: can't care for it, you know, like there's things you

461
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 4: have to go on. I really really want a weener.

462
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 3: Dog right now, but like I know, there's so many

463
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 3: things that are in the way of that, So like

464
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 3: right now, I couldn't do.

465
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 2: It, even though I really really want to. She really

466
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 2: want to do I do? I keep looking at it.

467
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,439
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't stop, I can't up.

468
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,920
Speaker 4: There's some cutes yeah, man, dog Anyway, I was immediately

469
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 4: panicking and reminded him of his promise that the dog

470
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 4: would not be coming to my place. I love dogs,

471
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,359
Speaker 4: but it is already a crap ton of work to

472
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 4: keep my place clean with four cats, and I work

473
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 4: a full time job and just do not have it

474
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,440
Speaker 4: in me to be responsible for another animal, especially one

475
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 4: that requires going on walks and being let out every

476
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 4: couple hours to go to the bathroom.

477
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 3: He said he knew and that it would not be

478
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 3: a problem. Well, it was a problem his parents told

479
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 3: him absolutely no, and gave him the choice to live

480
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 3: somewhere else or take the dog back. He called me

481
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 3: nearly in tears and told me he could not get

482
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 3: rid of this dog. He had already named it and

483
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 3: fallen in love and was attached in that he would

484
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 3: do anything to move in with me and let him

485
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 3: keep the dog there.

486
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 2: Don't do it, girl, You're so levelheaded. Don't do it.

487
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have been so consistently levelheaded in this story.

488
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 2: I would just be like, dude, I told you your

489
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 2: cat's here. I can't have a puppy, yeah, no running

490
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 2: around like when you can't even take care of it

491
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 2: all day. I'm not taking care of your dogh It's

492
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 2: just okay.

493
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 4: So you got this without thinking, and now it's like, oh,

494
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 4: I really love this dog, but now I don't have

495
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 4: a place to live, Like, dude, you gotta you gotta think.

496
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 4: I hate when people do this to animals because obviously

497
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 4: animals will fall like they.

498
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 2: Don't have a choice.

499
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 3: People just take them and they're like, okay, you're I'm

500
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 3: gonna love you now, Like, no, this comes with a

501
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 3: lot of responsibilities. Yeah, it's just uh, I hate your

502
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 3: responsible people with animals.

503
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 2: She has to lock back in. I'm calming myself by

504
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 2: arranging the ducks. All right, I'm in. I was infuriated

505
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,479
Speaker 2: that was that was such a horrible line to start with.

506
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 4: I knew this would happen. I was so clear to

507
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 4: him about my boundaries with this, and so clear on

508
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 4: why it was a horrible idea. How could he be serious? However,

509
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 4: after several weeks, he was visibly depressed about the situation

510
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 4: and had begged me every single day to let him

511
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 4: and Draco live with me. No, he is not a

512
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 4: Harry Potter fan. He named it after the pew pew. Yes,

513
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 4: I am serious.

514
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 2: I do not know how, but after lots of begging

515
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 2: and promises, he convinced me, No, you doing so well.

516
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: I'm gonna flip this cout. You're so I'm flipping this table.

517
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna flip it too. I've got a fresh I'm

518
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 2: just gonna hit it. Ah my hand, look good. You've done.

519
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,400
Speaker 2: O pee, oh pee. You're killing me and this person.

520
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 3: I was not happy about it, but I could see

521
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 3: how happy he was to have Draco, and he promised

522
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 3: me that he would take the dog to work with

523
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 3: him and that I would not have to be responsible

524
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 3: for him at all. Can't wait for that to go

525
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 3: wrong in three hours?

526
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, three hours later, he's like, well, going.

527
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 3: Out three days later and she's like, I've been gearing

528
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 3: for your dog. He promised to be the one to

529
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 3: take out the dog, to walk in and clean up after.

530
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 2: It, to do everything.

531
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 3: Well, I should have known, but these were just more

532
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,719
Speaker 3: false promises. He talked to his boss and realized he

533
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 3: would not be allowed to bring the dog to work,

534
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,959
Speaker 3: and Draco quickly became my responsibility.

535
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 2: And that's when you go back to your boyfriend and

536
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 2: you say, oh.

537
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 3: Sorry, it looks like you can't take care of your dog,

538
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 3: so your dog can't stay here. Yeah, it's just Oh,

539
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 3: I hate that animals are put in a situation because

540
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 3: it's not their fault.

541
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 2: It's just people poopy and stupid.

542
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 4: On his working days, I had to get up extra

543
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 4: early and take the dog out. I would come home

544
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 4: on my lunch break not three hours later to Draco

545
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 4: sitting in his kennel covered in crap and pee and

546
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 4: the whole apartments smelling awful.

547
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 3: Genuinely, if I saw that, like the first or maybe

548
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 3: second time I saw that happen first time, I'm having

549
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 3: a conversation with him, yeah, saying, hey, we have to

550
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 3: figure something out because I can't take care of him,

551
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 3: so you need to find someone who can come and

552
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 3: look after him during the day. Second time that happens,

553
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 3: I say, you got to get rid of the dog, like,

554
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 3: you have to take it to someone.

555
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:43,439
Speaker 4: I would take a picture of that and be like,

556
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 4: this is what you're doing. Yeah, this is your Absolutely

557
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 4: you're not seeing this, but this is what I have

558
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 4: to take.

559
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 2: This is what I'm cleaning up, and like the dog

560
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 2: like it, you know, yeah, it's not the dog ball.

561
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 2: This is what they do their babies.

562
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 3: Well, also just like that it's a living creature and

563
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 3: needs to go to the bathroom, Like most normal people

564
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,959
Speaker 3: are not forbidden from going to the bathroom for like

565
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 3: six or seven hours, So like, why are we making a.

566
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 2: Dog do that? Yeah? I do not like every lunch

567
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,199
Speaker 2: break that I used to spend relaxing and eating was

568
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 2: now spent cleaning up crap and crying. Oh horrid. I

569
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 2: would come home from work at the end of the

570
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: day to do the same mess. But not only that,

571
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 2: but my cats were noticeably distressed having the dog around.

572
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 2: It also made me really sad. Seeing the poor guy

573
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 2: locked up in his kennel all day, but anytime we

574
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 2: let him out, he would destroy anything he could find

575
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: because he's a baby.

576
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a baby, and he needs to be trained,

577
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 3: and neither of you have the time to train him,

578
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 3: so your boyfriend has to give him to someone else.

579
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 2: I don't like what they're doing with this. He chewed

580
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 2: up my ug slippers and a pillow, not the ug slippers. No,

581
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 2: oh yeah, one hundred bucks, probably even more, it depends

582
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 2: what kind. I'm gonna look it up while you do that,

583
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 2: and would also torment my cat's any chance he was given.

584
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 2: After about a month of this, I could not take

585
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 2: it anymore. I told Nate that I was really sorry

586
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 2: that I had tried so hard to.

587
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 3: Make it work, but it was weighing on me too

588
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 3: much and I simply could not handle caring for Draco anymore.

589
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 3: I told him that he would have to move out

590
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 3: with him or find a new home for him. I

591
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 3: felt so horrible about it, and I knew he would

592
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 3: be devastated, but I could not take it anymore. I

593
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 3: had become miserable in my own home that I had

594
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 3: waited and saved for years to be happy in He

595
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 3: was really upset and did not want to talk much

596
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 3: to me for the next several weeks.

597
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 2: Well, he'd dig up. Yeah, literally, we're done.

598
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't take care of a dog that you bought. Yeah,

599
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 3: I issue and you promised me. You promised me it

600
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 3: would not be my responsibility. Yeah, and there that went

601
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 3: out the wind. Though there we are.

602
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 2: He did not ignore me entirely or yell and get

603
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 2: super angry at me, but he was definitely really disappointed

604
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 2: and upset. Fine, I don't care. Yeah, what can you do?

605
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: I mean, why would you want the dog to live

606
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 2: this life? You say you care about your dog, but

607
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 2: you don't. Yeah, what you care about it? Like the

608
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 2: twenty minutes to spend with it a day.

609
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, you care about like petting it and saying, oh, look,

610
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 3: ow cute my dog is, and then your dog is

611
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 3: kind of in the background.

612
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 2: He felt like I had not given it a fair

613
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 2: shot and that after Draco was more trained, it would

614
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 2: be so much easier. Sorry, who's training this dog? Yeah?

615
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 3: Who's training Draco? Because it's certainly not you. You can't

616
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 3: even let him out of his crate. It's not what

617
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 3: she wants.

618
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 2: Like that's the whole thing. It's just not what she wants.

619
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 4: She told you that from the beginning, and you are

620
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 4: just completely disregarding it and being like, I'll convince her,

621
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 4: I'll convince her, I'll do things. But the thing is

622
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 4: she's doing everything, so you failed.

623
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

624
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 4: I told him, even if Draco had been a well

625
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 4: trained and easy dog, it was still not at all

626
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 4: what I agreed to and was entirely too much responsibility

627
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 4: for having four cats and a dog to take care

628
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 4: of on my own. It has been a few months

629
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 4: now and he will still tell our mutual friends and

630
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 4: his coworkers that I made him get rid of his

631
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 4: dog without telling them any of the actual details. Oh my,

632
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 4: I mean this is even true though. Yeah, she literally said,

633
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 4: you guys have to move out.

634
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 2: She didn't get rid of the dog. Yeah, she didn't

635
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 2: even get rid of the dog. So if he got

636
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 2: rid of it, yeah, that's true. Yeah.

637
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 3: I hope that you don't live with him, regardless of

638
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 3: whether or not the dog wet.

639
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 4: This really upsets me for obvious reasons, and I need

640
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 4: to know if I am really in the wrong here.

641
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 4: So Reddit, am I.

642
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 2: The a hole? No break up with your boyfriend?

643
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 4: I don't think you are caring for yourself and you

644
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 4: have four other animals to take care of, and.

645
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: You're also caring for that dog.

646
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: Like, regardless of whether or not you can keep the

647
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 3: dog or not, you are making a better decision for

648
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 3: that dog. In saying neither of us have the time

649
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 3: or just I don't know, patience, it seems to care

650
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 3: to let out this dog, so the best option is

651
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 3: to give it to someone else who could do that.

652
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, the fact of it is, OPI told you from

653
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 4: the beginning, this is not what she wanted. And then

654
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 4: you go and you try to make it work, but

655
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 4: then you actually don't even try to make it work.

656
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 4: You just dump it on her. And now she's stuck

657
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 4: with all of this. She's very very you know, like frustrated, confused, upset,

658
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 4: like just wants out of this because it's not what

659
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 4: she wanted and you're ruining it for her.

660
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 2: But then you go out and say, oh, like she

661
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: maybe get rid of the dog, Like no.

662
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 4: So you're gonna lie and you're gonna cheat your way

663
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 4: through this. No, please save it, No, save it.

664
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 2: There's an update, so good news.

665
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 4: Oh well, let's see, I was going to wait to

666
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 4: update this, but people seem concerned for me. This whole

667
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 4: post actually takes place about a year ago, but I

668
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,959
Speaker 4: never posted it at the time I broke up with him,

669
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 4: about a month after this all took place.

670
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 3: Yay, I mean, well, my final thought is best decision

671
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 3: was to break up with them. Good decision for the

672
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 3: dog to realize. Again, I mean you realized from the

673
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 3: start you guys were not able to take care of

674
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 3: the dog, and it was a good environment for the

675
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 3: dog to be in. And just like you know, in

676
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 3: the future, hopefully we'll be able to recognize those signs

677
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 3: of manipulation and work against them.

678
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

679
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 4: I think you stood your ground, Op, and you should

680
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 4: be proud. You're doing what you want your living your life.

681
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 4: And if he doesn't abide by your rules.

682
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 3: Get rid of them, get rid of them. Just what

683
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 3: it is, all right? It was genuinely one of the

684
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 3: hardest things I have ever had to do, which I

685
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,760
Speaker 3: guess sounds ridiculous, but there were a lot of great

686
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 3: aspects of our relationship. Ultimately, though, he did not respect

687
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 3: me and was incredibly immature, and I knew I did

688
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 3: not want to live my life like that.

689
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: Good for you, Op, Yes.

690
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 3: I have been on my own for about eleven months now,

691
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,719
Speaker 3: and I have bought myself my own car. Had one before,

692
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 3: but it was a piece of poop that barely ran.

693
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 3: Started painting again and am for the first time in

694
00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 3: my life, at peace in my own home.

695
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 2: Good.

696
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 4: I also reconnected with my old best friend who I

697
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 4: lost touch with while dating Nate, and I could not

698
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 4: be happier. Leaving him was so hard, but it was

699
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 4: well worth it. Thank you all for the love and honesty.

700
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 4: Glad I made the right decision.

701
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 2: That's the end. DP. I'm so impressed by how mature

702
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 2: and confident.

703
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 3: You are, even though you know a lot of people

704
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 3: are saying like you kind of listen to that manipulation

705
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 3: and let him move in, but everyone makes mistakes. You're

706
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 3: nineteen well, and also you know this was going on

707
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 3: for like a while, like I don't know how long

708
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 3: they were dating two years?

709
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, two years? Okay, but like yeah, so of.

710
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 4: Course you don't want to just end it over this situation,

711
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 4: so obviously you know, maybe be like, Okay, maybe I'll

712
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 4: try to make it work, even though this isn't what

713
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 4: I want, Like maybe it will work out, and then

714
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 4: you try it.

715
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 2: It didn't work out and you're like, okay, done.

716
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 3: And then yeah, and then you you recognize the red flags,

717
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 3: were like, I'm not putting out with that.

718
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 2: That's it.

719
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 3: So good on you for being nineteen and still able

720
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 3: to recognize all yeah in stage.

721
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 2: Because that's hard.

722
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that is the end of this story. Sure is,

723
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 3: And no, we got another one coming right up.

724
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 2: Sure I do. Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host here,

725
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 2: bring you back to the stories. But here's three minutes

726
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,760
Speaker 2: fads from our sponsor. I finally snapped at my partner

727
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,799
Speaker 2: for ignoring me for months, Well why are you ignoren?

728
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 3: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay Storytime

729
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 3: subpard it for context, I twenty five female and my partner,

730
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 3: thirty six male, have a son eight months. I'm a

731
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 3: stay at home mom, but I have offered to get

732
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 3: a job to help out more. By the way, this

733
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 3: comes from Emergency ad forty five fifty eight. And if

734
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

735
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 3: r slash Okay Storytime subparate it.

736
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia and I'm Savannah and I'm Keon.

737
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofley, but we

738
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,359
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

739
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 3: so let us know what you would do in the comments.

740
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,320
Speaker 3: And ohp says me and my partner have been together

741
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 3: for four years and we're friends for two years before that.

742
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 3: Just want to go back to the ages. So Op

743
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 3: was twenty one and their partner I was thirty two.

744
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 2: Oh okay.

745
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,280
Speaker 3: He was really sweet and loving during our first few years.

746
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 3: We do have an open relationship with some restrictions that

747
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 3: both of us agreed upon, and we had been fine

748
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 3: for a while. It doesn't seem like the best recipe.

749
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 2: I'm confused.

750
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 3: Things did not start happening until we were together for

751
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 3: our first year. We never really had issues until about

752
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 3: a year and a half into our relationship. One of

753
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 3: my friend's twenty seven female became our roommate. She had

754
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 3: a boyfriend at the time, but I noticed how my

755
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 3: partner would look at her and how he constantly texted

756
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 3: her when he barely texted me. Whenever we had spicy time,

757
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 3: he would bring her up in the middle of it

758
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 3: and talk about what he would want to do with her.

759
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 2: Whoao, no, no, no, you don't do that. If I

760
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 2: was having spicy sleep with someone and they were like,

761
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 2: I really like this girl. I'd be like, Woma, why

762
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 2: are you here?

763
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 3: What if my part was bringing up with anyone else

764
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 3: unless it's I don't know, a fictional character.

765
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talked about other people. They're like, oh, you know,

766
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 2: it would be really great if Danny Phantom we're here

767
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:06,799
Speaker 2: right now.

768
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 3: I love Danny Phantom right and I'll say it every time.

769
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 3: My gosh, she was my childhood crush.

770
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 2: Same now.

771
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 3: To add more context, I am not open. I am polyamorous,

772
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 3: and do not jump for everyone I see. I have

773
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 3: to know someone deeply for a while before anything else happens.

774
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 3: I have not seen anyone else since before my son

775
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 3: was born. I have not had the time, or the

776
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 3: want or the need to find someone else. A few

777
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 3: months later, she and her boyfriend broke up, and my

778
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 3: partner jumped the pew whew even more with talking to

779
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 3: me about her.

780
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 2: Each time.

781
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 3: I finally had enough and stopped coming to bed with

782
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 3: him until he was already passed out. I would just

783
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 3: lay there watching TV and that's when we go, Oh,

784
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 3: I think that's the end of that relationship. After a while,

785
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 3: she started showing interest in me and my partner. He

786
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 3: jumped at the occasion to get her to join us.

787
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 3: While I was still wary, he offered to at least

788
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 3: try it for a few weeks with no label. That's crazy,

789
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 3: So OPI goes, I don't know if I want to

790
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 3: do that, and he goes, Okay, let's do it, but like,

791
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 3: we won't say we're doing it.

792
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 2: Does that work? But you're doing it? I agreed.

793
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 3: She eventually ghosted us, but only after she joined us

794
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 3: during Spicy Time a couple of times. Fast forward to

795
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 3: when I was pregnant with our son. Wait, this was

796
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 3: before y'all got pregnant.

797
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 2: You could have gotten out. That sucks.

798
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 3: Another girl moved in with our friend and her boyfriend.

799
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 3: They kind of just showed up with our friend and

800
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 3: had a two year old with them, so we did

801
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 3: not tell them no. After a few months, she and

802
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 3: her boyfriend broke up and the same thing started up

803
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 3: with her. During Spicy Time. He would ask me to

804
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 3: let him invite her in the middle of it, and

805
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 3: he would not take no for an answer until I

806
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 3: had already said no five times.

807
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, Opie, this is like a very harmful relationship.

808
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 3: And oftentimes when you have this large of an age gap,

809
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 3: when he's known you since he was thirty and you

810
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 3: were nineteen. There is a bit of a problematic power dynamic.

811
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 3: Jump forward to when I was a few days from

812
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 3: giving I could not lay in bed because of pain,

813
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 3: so I was sleeping in a recliner in the same

814
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 3: room as my partner. He invited her in because she

815
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,479
Speaker 3: had her boyfriend and got into a fight.

816
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 2: I was awake.

817
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 3: He texted me and asked me if they could do

818
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 3: things right there next to me.

819
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 2: This man is.

820
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 3: Awful, this man, Oh, could you just scoot over a

821
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 3: little bit.

822
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 2: We're just gonna do stuff like did you mind? Do

823
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 2: you mind if we just might honestly, could you like

824
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 2: sit on me? Just h could you sit outside the room? Maybe? Okay,

825
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 2: that's crazy to ask of someone you just had your child.

826
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I said no, Bud. He kept begging until I

827
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 3: finally had enough and said yes. So I was laying

828
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 3: in my recliner listening to everything, and I started crying. Oh,

829
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 3: you're young, and you've been with him since you were

830
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,280
Speaker 3: quite young as well, and you also have a baby.

831
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 2: But I do want to give you.

832
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 3: Some courage to say this is not okay. I do

833
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 3: not deserve this and I'm gonna.

834
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 2: Leave even if you're in Paulyyamis or whatever. Blah blah blah.

835
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 4: There's he's still like rules that you follow. Yeah, and

836
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 4: when you're pretty like, you know, communication has to be

837
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 4: open at all times.

838
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 1: Yeah.

839
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 2: And the fact that he's just like, can I do

840
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 2: this right next to you? Not include you? I just like,

841
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 2: do it right now and you're just kind of here,

842
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 2: so like, and his tactic is can I do it?

843
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:15,360
Speaker 3: No?

844
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 2: Can I do it?

845
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: No?

846
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 2: Can I do it?

847
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 3: No?

848
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 2: Can I do it? Fine? Yeah, that's not enthusiastic consent. Yeah.

849
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 3: Oh gow They never stopped until they were done. I

850
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 3: tried explaining to him, but he passed out a few

851
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 3: minutes later. A few weeks after I gave birth, he

852
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 3: once again asked me during spicy time to invite her

853
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,439
Speaker 3: with us. I finally said yes, and he spent more

854
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 3: time with her than me. I mostly just laid there

855
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 3: half the time listening.

856
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 2: Again.

857
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 3: A few months later, they got kicked out because the

858
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 3: stress was too much and they were plotting to move

859
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 3: out behind her backs. Anyway, got to these past few months.

860
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,880
Speaker 3: I am now a stay at home mom and he

861
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 3: works morning shift at a factory every day. When he

862
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 3: comes home, he says hi to me and her son

863
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 3: complains about work or the house, but does nothing to

864
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 3: fix it. Then he goes outside to work on vehicles

865
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 3: or the house, or he goes upstairs to sleep. I

866
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 3: am up with our son from seven am until he

867
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 3: goes to sleep around eight pm.

868
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 2: I do not get a.

869
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 3: Chance to go out with friends because I do not

870
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 3: have many here. The ones I do have are busy

871
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 3: with work in life. I finally had enough and told

872
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 3: him nicely that when he gets home it is his

873
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 3: turn to be a parent. He agreed, but keeps doing

874
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 3: the same thing now. If he's awake for a few hours,

875
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 3: he begs me to come to bed and cuddle, but

876
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 3: whenever I do, it's just for spicy time. And he

877
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,720
Speaker 3: brings up how girls at work offer things for rides

878
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 3: home and now he is debated taking them up on it,

879
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 3: but does not want me mad please leave him?

880
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 2: Why is he even there? Why does he like? I

881
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 2: don't understand what his game is like he wants to

882
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 2: stay in this relationship, and why, Like, if you just

883
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 2: want to go hook up with other people, do it?

884
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 2: Leave me out of it. Obviously, there's people who want

885
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:00,040
Speaker 2: to is what he's saying. Why go with them? I

886
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 2: don't know. I guess this person has your child. I

887
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 2: think it's his. Yeah, that really hasn't been like specified,

888
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 2: but I would think that it would be his. I

889
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: don't know. It's just that's crazy.

890
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,479
Speaker 3: Why he only brings this stuff up during spicy time?

891
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:16,760
Speaker 3: I have no idea. He refuses to let me ignore

892
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,879
Speaker 3: it and keeps asking until I say yes. At this point,

893
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm only around for spicy time and

894
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 3: nothing more. All of this has taken a toll on

895
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 3: me mentally, and I have let a lot build up.

896
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 3: So this past week, he's been going out to work

897
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 3: every day, then comes inside to call his kids.

898
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 2: Sorry he has other kids. What hey, it's Sean here

899
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 2: og host of the show.

900
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,399
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to these juicy stories, but here's

901
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 3: a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

902
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 2: What is this guy's life? What are his choices? I mean,

903
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 2: what is going on here?

904
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,360
Speaker 3: Then goes back outside or passes out in bed. Meanwhile,

905
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 3: I get stuck being the parent dealing with a screaming

906
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 3: eight month old, taking care of the house, and trying

907
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 3: to keep things calm with our roommates. This went on

908
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 3: for weeks until I've finally out enough. I yelled at

909
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 3: him about it, and he flipped the script, pointing out

910
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 3: how I disappear on my computer after our son goes

911
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 3: to bed. For context, I do computer work as some

912
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 3: income to help with buying things for our son. I

913
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 3: do not make much at all. He went off on

914
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 3: me about how he wants to spend more time together.

915
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 3: I brought up the fact that he leaves me with

916
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 3: our son every day all day, and now that is

917
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 3: the only time I get to unwind. He started pouting

918
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 3: and acting like a victim. Fast forward to last night.

919
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 3: We had a good morning. Everyone was smiling, my son

920
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,240
Speaker 3: was happy, my partner was actually in the house.

921
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 2: Spending time with us.

922
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 3: He went outside through the side door to get something.

923
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 3: When he came back in, he did not close the

924
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 3: door fully and my cat's stitch got out. I have

925
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 3: had him since he was a kitten. It is almost

926
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 3: freezing temperatures and his winter coat is not fully in.

927
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:56,240
Speaker 3: He still has not been found, and I am destroyed mentally.

928
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,240
Speaker 3: This cat had been my world before I was pregnant.

929
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 3: He fought, followed me everywhere and looked at me like

930
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 3: I was his whole world. I started freaking out, and

931
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,879
Speaker 3: my partner just said, that was me. Sometimes the side

932
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 3: door doesn't close fully.

933
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 2: You know. This is that your apology? What is that response?

934
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:17,319
Speaker 2: I mean, I hate this man. What I think what

935
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 2: you gotta do is when he leaves the door open

936
00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 2: next time, you just shim you just leave. Yeah, h

937
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 2: not the cat, not another horrible animal story.

938
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 3: I gave him a look like, are you kidding me?

939
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 3: He knew the door does not close right and did

940
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 3: not think to double check. There was a little bit

941
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 3: left to this story. But yeah, my only advice is

942
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 3: to leave this man. There's nothing redeeming. You're not even

943
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 3: getting anything out of it.

944
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 4: Like, not that you need to get something out of it,

945
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 4: but like what positive things does he bringing to your life?

946
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 2: Zero? Nothing, zero, zero things. Yeah, it's just god, it's horrid.

947
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 2: I hate I can't I'm gonna flip the table. Flipping

948
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 2: the table. What don't give me titanium? He was nonchalant

949
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:03,919
Speaker 2: while I.

950
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 3: Was having panic attacks and crying. At one point, I

951
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 3: wrapped myself in a blanket and sat outside in the

952
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 3: cold for hours, waiting for any sign of my boy.

953
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 3: My partner went to bed while everyone else was out

954
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 3: looking for stitch. He texted me asking if I was okay,

955
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 3: and after I said no, he just casually continued the

956
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:22,959
Speaker 3: conversation like nothing was wrong.

957
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:24,959
Speaker 2: Way, I'm sorry. He texted you, hey, are you again?

958
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 2: You went no, and he's like, okay, can you pick

959
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: up some milk?

960
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: And he was like, I tried.

961
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 2: He's like, oh uh, this girl wants to come over.

962
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 2: Can we do it in the bed or what is that? Okay?

963
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 2: She said, I'm not okay. She said, okay, we'll be there.

964
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 2: I do not know what to do.

965
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,520
Speaker 3: I love my partner, but I do not know how

966
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,839
Speaker 3: to handle this anymore, and I have emotionally shut down

967
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 3: for months. So am I the ale for yelling at

968
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 3: him about spending more time on his projects instead of

969
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,320
Speaker 3: with me and her son. Comment one says the situation

970
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 3: you described sounds incredibly difficult and overwhelming, especially with a

971
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 3: young baby. It's completely un standable to feel stretched thin

972
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 3: and deeply frustrated when it feels like your primary support

973
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 3: isn't there for you or prioritizing the family's well being.

974
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,840
Speaker 3: Navigating the demands of being a new parent is challenging

975
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 3: enough without having to carry.

976
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 2: Such a heavy emotional load and deal with.

977
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 3: A partner who seems to consistently disregard your feelings and needs.

978
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 3: When you're constantly under stressed, feeling unsupported, and your boundaries

979
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 3: are repeatedly crossed, it can take a significant toll on

980
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,919
Speaker 3: your mental and emotional health, leading to a constant state

981
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 3: of worry and exhaustion. Finding ways to manage that pervasive

982
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 3: stress and the anxiety that often comes with it is

983
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 3: really important for your own wellbeing and to be able

984
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 3: to care for your son. Sometimes, just learning some practical

985
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 3: techniques to calm your mind and body can make a

986
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 3: big difference in how you cope with daily pressures and

987
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 3: regain a sense of control. If you're looking for some

988
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 3: guidance on understanding anxiety, it's common symptoms and practical ways

989
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 3: to manage it, including techniques for deep breathing and out

990
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 3: of handle intense moments of stress. There's podcasts good luck

991
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 3: and that's the end of that story. No, and this

992
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 3: relationship they find stitch, Please find stitch and this relationship.

993
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,239
Speaker 3: That's my nice and good luck to you, op, because

994
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 3: this is a terrible, terrible situation.

995
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, is one of us? Remember that?

996
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 2: Oh? Ope, then you will hear this. You don't deserve this.

997
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,280
Speaker 3: I forgot that you were one of us. Your partner

998
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 3: is taking advantage of the situation. I want to instill

999
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 3: in you the strength to leave this.

1000
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 2: If you have any.

1001
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 3: Support system that you could reach out to, any friends, family. Yeah,

1002
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 3: there are also a lot of just nonprofits. If you

1003
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 3: feel like you don't know, don't have the money to leave.

1004
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 3: There are a lot of different shelters and places. But

1005
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 3: this is what they're there for. Yeah, this is what

1006
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,720
Speaker 3: they're there for. But that is the end of that story.

1007
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:54,879
Speaker 2: Good luck. Ope, And we have.

1008
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 3: Some comments from the video I'm divorcing my husband over

1009
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 3: dirty dishes and this was hosted October seventh, twenty twenty five.

1010
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,320
Speaker 3: The TLDR is OPI feels worn out because her husband

1011
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 3: now needs her for almost every chore, every errand every meal.

1012
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 3: Their deal was simple for years. He cooks, she does dishes,

1013
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 3: but now he wants her as his helper every time,

1014
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 3: and it's making her feel overwhelmed and resentful. When she

1015
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 3: tries to plan things, he says it feels too controlling.

1016
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 3: When he wants things last minute, she panics. They try talking,

1017
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 3: they try counseling, and even big life changes get put

1018
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 3: on the table. Will they fix this mismatch or is

1019
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 3: it a bigger problem than OPI ever realized. If you're

1020
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 3: curious to know the full story, you can go watch

1021
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:38,600
Speaker 3: the full video.

1022
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did not read that one. Do you know

1023
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:41,439
Speaker 1: that one?

1024
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 2: I do remember that one vaguely.

1025
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 1: Well, we do have some comments here, and I'm going

1026
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 1: to bundle up for these comments. Hmmm, I feel nice.

1027
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 1: First comment by pretty jump Tree saying, story one husband

1028
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 1: doesn't respect Opie's time. Everything's on his timetable, and Ope

1029
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 1: just has to keep accommodating to him. He doesn't want

1030
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,760
Speaker 1: to keep up with therapy because he is already hoping

1031
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,760
Speaker 1: to slide back into his normal state.

1032
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 2: Dude is selfish, Yeah, big time. Yeah, and that's an issue.

1033
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we have a second comment here by hawk Illy.

1034
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 1: One hundred percent of my relationships have failed because the

1035
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 1: man expects me to work as much as him and

1036
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: he is a full time housemate. You cannot have both,

1037
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: and honestly, I am not looking to be a trad

1038
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: wife as well.

1039
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1040
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think it's fair for you to be

1041
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 3: dumped with all those responsibilities.

1042
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:34,920
Speaker 2: No, it's supposed to be a partnership.

1043
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not his mom, and even then, moms shouldn't

1044
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: be like you shouldn't be doing everything either, exactly comment

1045
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 1: number three here by three Crazy Dog sixty three for

1046
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 1: the first story. Husband wants to call you and keep

1047
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: you at his side and you know, make you do

1048
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 1: everything himself, not how life and marriage works. I tell

1049
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 1: my husband when I will need help for dinner, and

1050
00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 1: then I give him a time and I want to start.

1051
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 1: He does the pots and pans and I load the dishwasher.

1052
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:02,839
Speaker 1: We also unload together. This goes for any stuff we

1053
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 1: need to do around the house. Before he retired, I

1054
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 1: did most of the work because I was home. Now

1055
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 1: that he's home, he helps with everything. Marriage is teamwork

1056
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 1: and you quitting your job to do all the things

1057
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:17,320
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to do is just ridiculous, plus puts

1058
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,759
Speaker 1: you in a bad position. I agree with the commenters,

1059
00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 1: get a cleaning lady and I'd do meal kits.

1060
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1061
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:26,800
Speaker 3: I think that if you have the ability to afford

1062
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,919
Speaker 3: a person to clean, that often does help a lot.

1063
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:34,320
Speaker 1: And we have one final comment here by Kate's Shelley

1064
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 1: Bow for the first story. Has Opie looked into the

1065
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: husband having neurodivergence with ADHD and autism, demand avoidance and

1066
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: needing body doubling are a big thing.

1067
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 2: Do we know? Do you know?

1068
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 3: I don't remember for that story, but I think while

1069
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 3: that might help them better kind of coordinate and plan

1070
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 3: around this, it still doesn't mean that ops to or

1071
00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 3: should have to deal with having.

1072
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 1: To tell him everything in I don't think it is

1073
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: an excuse.

1074
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 2: Yeah it's not, but it does explain. But yeah, if

1075
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 2: that is true.

1076
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:05,919
Speaker 1: And that was the last comment.

1077
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 3: And that's the end of the comments and the end

1078
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 3: of this episode. So if you love us, make sure

1079
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:11,399
Speaker 3: to subscribe

1080
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 2: And we lie you and see tomorrow.