WEBVTT - Ep 116: Jason Gore 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:07.040 I made a conscious decision a few days a week 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:10.040 to actually spend time with a blank sheet of paper, 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.000 and sometimes I would write things down, sometimes I wouldn't, 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.400 but just reflecting and meditating on what is. 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:17.480 My role as a coach, what is my role as a. 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:19.599 Parent, How do I want to carry myself? 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:21.800 And what do I want them to learn by watching me. 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:25.919 This is the Reform Sports Project, a podcast about restoring 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:29.160 healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:33.080 education and advocacy. This is Nick Bonacor from the Reform 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:37.960 Sports Podcast. Today, I'm speaking with Jason Gore, wrestling coach, pastor, 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:41.120 and sports parent. A former captain of the North Carolina 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:44.440 State Wolfpack wrestling team. Jason's career path took him from 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:47.640 the business world into full time ministry, and eventually to 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.479 serving as a pastor. Through it all, he has remained 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:53.040 connected to his roots on the map, serving his community 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:55.760 as a youth wrestling coach and instilling the life and 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:58.520 leadership skills that meant so much to him growing up 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:01.920 into another generation of kids and teenagers. Jason and I 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:06.360 discussed balancing competitiveness with a healthy mindset, determining your value system, 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:09.039 and approach as a parent before your child steps onto 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.480 the field, or matt In teaching kids how to be 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.039 adults in today's world. Back in the Saddle, I got 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:17.960 a guest that I'm really excited I had opportunity to 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.959 connect with him this past wrestling season. My second oldest son, Tyler, 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:24.640 was finishing out a senior year of high school and 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.960 got to compete against his son. And man, he's a coach, 0:01:28.440 --> 0:01:31.160 guy's a pastor, he's a former absolute stud for the 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:33.880 NC State Wolfpack, was a multi sport athlete in high 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.720 school himself, and I'm just super pumped to have him. 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:39.800 Jason Gore coach Gore, Pastor Gore, Jason Gore, thanks for 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:41.960 hopping on bro oh. 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:44.440 Man, listen. Couldn't be more excited to spend some time 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:48.120 with you on here. Love what you're doing, and man, 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:49.680 you got quite the family yourself. 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:50.040 Love. 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:54.560 I really enjoyed watching you guys interact and compete and 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:57.920 just really enjoy something that some people seemingly get super 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:00.120 stressed out about. And you guys are a joy to 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.760 watch from afar And yeah, man, couldn't be more stoke 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:03.840 to be on the podcast with you. 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:06.040 Well, dude, so that brings me to you know why 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:08.320 after we you know, we met briefly. Of course, my 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:11.639 son wrestled your son twice, but I just saw your engagement, 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:13.079 right and and and and you know a lot of 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:15.560 sports parents who listen to this, you know, youth coaches 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:18.680 and of course athletes as well. And where you really 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.760 caught my attention is, first of all, you're a physical specimen. 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:26.000 You're you're excessively intended to look at. I'm like, do 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:29.359 the cage fighter, what's going on here? But but you're 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:31.799 also a gentle giant, right And and what I love 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:36.359 most about everything is watching you coach is you're passionate. 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:39.040 You want your kids to do well. But this seems 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:42.040 to be a tremendous balance. How do you balance, man, 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:43.480 and you have a daughter that wrestles, you have a 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:47.320 younger son that's wrestled. How do you balance your competitiveness 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:50.200 as a former athlete, a guy who wants to win 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.480 see your kids be successful, while also looking at the 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.919 big picture, especially man in a sport right wrestling, where 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:58.000 it is so intense. 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:02.600 Yeah, it's a great question and one I'm actually passionate about. 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:06.959 But I'll tell you the way that I balance it, honestly, Nick, 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:09.640 is by learning from doing it the wrong way, just 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:13.720 being perfectly honest with you. You mentioned, you know, competitive athlete 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:16.760 in college, and we've got three kids to do it, 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:21.720 and so our oldest are twins eight and Natty they're fifteen, 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:24.920 and then Connor's twelve. It's not something I'll tell you that, 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:27.080 and I certainly don't always get it right now, but 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:30.600 I didn't always get it right. But what I've realized 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:32.720 over the years, and this kind of gets into sports 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.080 psychology and something I've kind of nerded out about over 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:37.960 the last few years, but the reality is none of 0:03:38.040 --> 0:03:41.480 us compete well, none of us do anything well when 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:45.400 we're really feeling the pressure. And then the flip side 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:47.000 to that is all of us are usually at our 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:49.480 best when we're laid back and relaxed. And so what 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:51.720 I've learned as a parent and as a coach is 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:54.400 you can go into these whether it's a wrestling tournament, 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:57.040 a football game, and dump all these pressure and these 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.840 high expectations on these young athletes or even on our 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.920 elves as adults. Maybe that's all different podcasts, or we 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.560 can go in say listen, I've prepared, I've trained life 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:08.680 is supposed to be fun. Let's just go out there 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:10.840 and let it fly and let the carters fall where 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:14.720 they may land. And I'm telling you, man, the relational connection, 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:19.600 the success, all that stuff comes when you just approach 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:22.000 it with a bit more healthy mindset. So I guess 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:24.280 that's a long way of saying I think I learned 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:26.920 by doing it the wrong way and learning, hey, this 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:29.280 isn't really yielding us the fruit that we want to see. 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:32.039 So man, let's just uh, let's let's take the pressure 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:33.360 off and let's just go out there and let it 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:34.240 fly and have a good time. 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.479 You know, it's not called the Reform Sports project. You know, 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:40.440 initially started off as a reform sports parent before it 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:43.120 evolved and you know, trial by fire, you know, like 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:46.360 I vividly remember, you know, my background. I played collegiate baseball. 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.120 Out of the audience knows this, and I remember my 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.599 son Tyler in particular. You know, he started getting into 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:52.760 All Stars at the young ages, and I was coaching, 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:54.640 and I'm I mean, I'm like, wow, I'm such a 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:57.440 great coach. Like my ego was totally involved. I mean, 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:00.000 it was like ridiculous. And then of course I realized, 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.000 you know, fast forward a couple of years, and I'm like, 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:04.120 what in the God's name am I doing? Like it's 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:06.480 not about me, you know, it's not about me, but 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:10.279 it is hard at times to separate that. And you know, 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:12.480 I remember, man, I mean, I know you met Tyler. 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.880 Now he's eighteen years old, but I mean I remember 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:18.320 one time. Man, I can't forget it. I remember being 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.000 in the in the car on the way home with 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:21.760 him and telling him I was disappointed because the ball 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:23.360 went through his legs. I think it was eight years old, 0:05:23.360 --> 0:05:24.880 and it was quote unquote a big game, you know, 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:27.480 recit baseball game, and I was disappointed, and I'm like, 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.680 I can't believe I said that. You know, I was agitated. 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:32.800 It's like, here's a kid who's seven eight years old, 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:34.640 who's probably got if I can visualize it right, he 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:37.120 probably had an orange Gatorade mustache at the time. He's 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:38.760 probably eating a hot dog, and I'm sitting there telling 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.880 him disappointing him from a ball going between his legs 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:44.560 and and you know, but that was kind of like 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:47.360 that moment I reflect, I'm like, what an absolute inbecilla was. 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:50.520 So I appreciate you getting vulnerable and saying, man, I 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:53.040 know I messed up, So how do you juggle though 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:54.280 that car ride? 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:54.440 Man? 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:56.960 I mean go from coach to I've had people coaches, 0:05:57.240 --> 0:05:59.200 you know who are sports parents say they literally pretend 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:01.120 they have two different has and they talk about the 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:02.560 how do you juggle the car ride? 0:06:02.839 --> 0:06:05.119 So for me, the way I juggle the car ride. 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:08.080 And this is for all of us parents out there, 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:12.320 if you don't prepare ahead of time as a parent 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.960 and a coach, just the way we expect our athletes 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.640 to because I actually view like my I coach on 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.720 the field or in the matt room, and then I'm 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:25.080 a coach slash parent on the way home. But you 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.240 would never show up to a football game as a 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:30.800 coach unprepared, unplanned, without a game plan. And so, man, 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:34.080 if we don't spend time as parents ahead of time 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.159 saying okay, this is going to be my mentality after 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.520 this is why we're competing. This is what we hope 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.760 that our kids get out of this, this competition. And 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:44.640 when you get in the heat of the moment, if 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.560 you haven't planned, like what, and if you haven't really 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.000 thought about what your values are and what you hope 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:51.479 to get out of it. When you get in the 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.760 heat of the moment, you don't stand a chance because 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:55.840 the reality is we are a little bit disappointed when 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:58.880 stuff like that happens. But I'll tell you one thing 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:02.240 that I tell myself and I encourage other parents, you know, 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.839 if I'm coaching their kids, especially at sport like wrestling, 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.200 you got to realize, just by having a kid that 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:11.960 was willing to go to practice every day this week 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:14.160 and then show up and walk out on the mat 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:17.680 with one other person, with tens hundreds, maybe at state 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:22.080 term of thousands of people watching, they're already doing something 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:24.240 that the majority of the kids on the planet would 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:25.480 just wouldn't have the guts to do. 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:27.640 To be honest, we wouldn't have them intal toughness. 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:29.840 So just by doing that, and listen, I'm not a 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.960 participation trophy guy at all. Okay, so don't hear that, 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.840 But we got to realize, man, just by them taking 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:39.360 that step, they're already growing well beyond what the majority 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.080 of the young people in our world are doing right now. 0:07:42.440 --> 0:07:45.800 And so when you can get that attitude of you know, 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:48.960 and you can get your value system before you actually 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:51.200 get in the moment, it really helps you when you 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:51.800 get into it. 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:53.840 So I know that you. I want to shift gears 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:56.000 a little bit because you brought up you know, competing 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:58.920 kind of like that free spirit, like in the mindset 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.760 of you know, having fun. And I know this because 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:03.120 you know, it's one of the things I was like, 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.560 Holy cal, I can't believe this dude actually did this. 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:09.000 You wrestled Kyle Sanderson. I don't know how many times, 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.400 you know, for those that don't know, if you're not 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:15.120 familiar with wrestling, Cale is like, you know, he's he's 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:17.040 the Goat. I mean, I would say he's the greatest 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:19.160 of all time, undefeated. I mean, he's the head coach 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:23.000 of Penn State Wrestling. It's unbelievable. And you wrestled him, 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:26.440 you competed. How were you you were still what nineteen 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:28.680 twenty twenty one years old at that time? How are 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:30.480 you not nervous a standing in front of a guy 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:32.480 like because I think it's important for people to realize, 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:35.160 like it's okay to be nervous because we're all you know, 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.520 you were wrestling the goat, but you know, we might 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:40.400 be fifteen years old, you know, Tyler and Aidan wrestling 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.200 to see who's going to wrestle for a third like 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:43.959 they did for them in that moment that might have 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:47.199 been that nervous moment. How do you mentally get yourself 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:48.400 ready in that situation? 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:51.960 So a lot of time Pactor. First of all, yeah, man, 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:54.520 going out, I've never felt so out of control of 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.559 my life, probably as in moments in that match wrestling 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:01.360 against Caley. Funny quick story. Then I answered the question, man, 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:03.600 we go out there, we were wrestling Iowa and listen. 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:05.680 It took me a while to get my head game 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:06.600 right in college. 0:09:06.679 --> 0:09:08.000 I got hurt when I was a freshman. 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.320 I was out for a full year. I was originally 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:12.079 I beat out the starters here before it got hurt, 0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:13.400 was out for a full year. And then you know, 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.480 wrestling Division one, you come back, you've been off the 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:18.000 map for twelve months, that's you're gonna take a beatn 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:19.920 when you first come back. And so I went from 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:23.560 being incredibly dominant in the state of North Carolina to 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:26.520 just being an average joe. And that really took a 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:28.880 toll on me mentally. So it took me a few 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:32.720 years to really get the right mindset. But wrestling Calee 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:34.760 my senior year, I had kind of finally landed the 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:38.319 mindset thing a bit more healthy. I'm telling you that, 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:40.439 as sure as I'm sitting here right now, I knew 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.040 I was gonna be the one. I was gonna be 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.520 the guy that beat him. You can probably go back 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:48.480 and watch the match on YouTube. Anything but that happened. 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:50.240 He kicked my butt up and down the mat. But 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.720 I will tell you that I had the mindset going 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:56.520 into this thaying like I'm not going into this with 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:59.400 the mindset of I must win and beat Cale Sanderson. 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:03.199 Was to train and to do all the little things right. 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.240 And I believe I've done all the little things right 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:07.520 up until this point. Now it's time for me to 0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:09.560 go out there and trust my training and have a blast. 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:12.800 The funny story about that is we go out to Iowa, 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:16.320 we got this duel meet against them, and I come 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:18.600 out on the map. They call my name and it's 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.520 there's there's thousands and thousands of people at their home 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.920 wrestling matches, right, And so I go out the lights, 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.280 The place blasts out all right, and then all of 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:32.400 a sudden, you just hear people are stomping on the 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:35.160 bleachers and clapping. The spotlight comes up, it goes down 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:37.640 on him, and it's like, for a moment, it feels 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.319 like this feels like a gladiator. 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:41.760 Is entering the ring to slaughter a lamb. 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:46.240 I mean this a bit and but you know, it's 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:48.600 it's all part of the deal. And uh, but yeah, 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:50.679 I mean in that situation, it was just I'm here 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:52.600 to compete and let a fly man, it's an honor 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:55.280 and a privilege. Like we get to compete, we get 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:58.560 to wrestle, and if we have a competition mindset, we're 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:02.280 telling ourselves, hey, just being out here competing is helping 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.599 me sharpen my skills that aren't just valuable here on 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:07.640 the map, but also valuable in life. As it relates 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:10.320 to my kids, I really try to give them the 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:14.000 same Montra man, like, competing is an opportunity to actually 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:17.240 show what our training really can do. And so just 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:20.079 to be out there is the opportunity. So take advantage 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:24.440 of the opportunity. Win, lose, draw, try to win every second. Now, 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:28.360 I will say I've learned over the last two years 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:31.000 and then this year specifically as it relates to wrestling, 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:35.320 we don't talk a whole lot anymore about winning matches. 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:40.040 We talk a lot about controlling the second, being aggressive 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:43.040 in the moment. Let's win the second, let's score the 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.439 next point. The wins and losses will take care of themselves. 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:49.160 And what happens is that takes a lot of pressure 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:51.880 off because if you're losing four nothing, all you're doing 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:53.760 is worried about winning the next second. If you're up 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.200 five to nothing, you're just worried about winning the next second, 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:59.000 And so you don't have to carry all the pressure 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:00.640 of what's going to happen at the end of the match. 0:12:00.640 --> 0:12:02.280 You just do what you need to do in the moment. 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:05.040 And we've found a lot of success with our kids 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:06.880 and then with some other with other athletes that I've 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.560 worked at, specifically in the last couple of years, just 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:10.679 focusing on the next second. 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:13.040 Listen, no one has more impact than the parent. I'm 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:14.960 the child, you know most of the time, but a 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:18.440 coach is right there as well. So do you try 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:21.839 to coach when you're at practice and parent at home? Like, 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:23.920 for instance, when you're doing the mental preparation, is that 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.680 something that you're really intentional about, Like you know with 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:28.920 all the kids that you coach at the high school level, 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.360 or even you know your younger son, like you mentioned Connor, 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:34.000 your daughter Addison, like, are you intentional? Because I feel 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:36.480 like it's so easy to go and you drill and 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.640 you do all the physical components, the conditioning, go live whatever. 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:42.920 How much time do you allocate towards really doing you know, 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:46.880 the mental the attitude, you know, focusing on effort and such. 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.480 Yeah, great question again, man, So two things I'll say 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:53.440 about that. So remind me to come back to wrestling 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:57.640 mindset and hopefully hopefully well remember to come back to it. Sure, 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:01.360 so we just going into Chris just before Christmas time. 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:03.240 And again this is going back to me being honest, 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.480 but I don't always get this right. My daughter and 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:08.480 I we were at Mark Adams Christmas Tournament, and I 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:11.880 don't think at that point she had lost. She's wrestling 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:16.080 in the finals against Teresa Kennedy, who is a just 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:17.440 a dear child. 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:19.080 She's a great, great young lady. 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.520 She's a senior. She was a state runner up last year. 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.120 And Patti took her down in the first period, as 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:26.120 went into nothing in the second period. It was kind 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:30.760 of even. Third period, Addie goes down quite honestly, makes 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.800 a pretty dumb mistake, you know, reaches back for a 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.400 leg gets a little sloppy, leaves her head by her knee, 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:39.120 and Teresa's a very savvy wrestler, slapped a cradle on her, 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:41.480 took her back, and pender and, man, I'm gonna. 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:45.839 Be honest, I was. I lost my cool a bit. 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:46.920 You know. 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:48.800 She came up to matter, what the heck? Well, I 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:50.880 won't use the word, I probably use you know, what 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:52.800 the heck are you doing doing something sloppy? You know, 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.079 we don't teach that. We don't. And she looked at 0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.560 me and she said, why are you acting like this? 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:02.480 I made a mistake. It's like, okay, wait, wait a minute, 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.559 this is uh. I got to call I gotta calm 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:06.200 down a little bit. And so it's probably I'd liking 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.200 that to the ball going between the legs. And so 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:11.400 that happened just before Christmas. And so if my wife 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:12.960 are on here, she would tell you the truth. I 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:15.400 told her. I said, man, I've got to do some 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:20.480 work myself. We ask these athletes to prepare mentally and physically, 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:22.400 and as a coach and as a dad. And I 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.360 would say this to any parent who's listening, or any coach, 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.760 if you expect your athletes to perform well. 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:30.600 In the heat of the moment. 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.160 You know how much work it takes to get them 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:36.880 ready to do that, Expect the same amount of yourself. 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:40.600 And so I made a conscious decision a few days 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.360 a week to actually spend time, like with a blank 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:46.000 sheet of paper, And sometimes I would write things down, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:49.400 sometimes I wouldn't, but just reflecting and meditating on what 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:51.520 is my role as a coach, what is my role 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:53.960 as a parent, how do I want to carry myself? 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:56.200 And what do I want them to learn by watching me? 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:59.880 And when you spend that time in preparation, I mean, 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.840 and the brain, and the mind is just like any 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:04.880 other muscle, it's stronger in the moment. And so I 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.080 would say, how much time do you need to spend 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.640 I don't know. I mean a couple guys here talking 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.040 how big of a bozo are you as a parent? 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:14.760 I mean, are you the guy that's sitting behind home 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:18.520 plate hounding the official after every call? And whether you 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:20.280 know it or not, you're teaching a kid that they 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:22.600 can go to work one day and badmouth their supervisor. 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:26.440 Like at some point, somebody's in charge and it's not you, 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:28.040 And you got to learn how to deal with that. 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.840 So yeah, man, I actually literally I had to spend time, 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:36.080 you know, throughout our Christmas break and over China and 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.800 throughout the month of January, and I'll tell you it 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:41.880 radically changed my perspective. And if my daughter were on here, 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:43.680 she would tell you like her second half of the 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:46.400 season with me as her coach Dad was so much 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.640 more of a joy. She did end up wrestling Teresa 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:53.080 again as a side note, in the regional finals, lost 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:56.200 to Teresa again, but I think it was much closer match. Well, 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:57.640 I mean it was close until the end of the 0:15:57.640 --> 0:16:00.760 first one, but but yeah, it was like, man, We're 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:01.920 just going to go out here and have a good 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:05.600 time and let it fly, and totally different feeling come 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:06.840 at home after that tournament. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:09.480 When we return, Coach Gore and I dive into the 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:12.560 wrestling mindset before we go to break. I've got another 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:15.840 exciting announcement for you. Team Snap, the leading provider of 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:19.400 sports management software, has acquired Mojo. 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The 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:42.880 combination of the two industry leading consumer tech platforms also 0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:45.880 creates the most comprehensive suite of B to B tools 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:51.239 available for youth sports organizations, including powerful content distribution capabilities 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:54.960 to drive adoption of coaching and training programs, registration tools, 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:59.080 payment processing, organizational management tools, and much more. To learn more, 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:02.640 visit WWAW dot teamsnap dot com and set up a 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:04.760 free demo to learn how Team Snap can help your 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:13.159 organization this season. Where we left off, Jason and I 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:15.720 were about to discuss his approach to helping his athletes 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:19.240 prepare mentally almost as much as they prepare physically before 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.800 stepping onto the map. We'll get back to the wrestling 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:23.480 mindset everything in a minute. I want to touch on 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.040 Addison right there, Like, man, kids have a way of 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:26.520 teaching us. 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:26.720 Man. 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.600 It's like, just when you said that to me about Dad, 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:31.800 why are you doing that? I'm like I felt that, 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.520 and I'm like yeah, because i know I've done that before. 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:36.480 You know, Like and if whoever's listening out, there's a 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.879 sports parent. You know, if you've never felt that way, 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.800 but like the maturity it kind of you know, it's 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:44.119 got to make you feel like, man, I must be 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:46.520 doing something right for my daughter to feel confident enough 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:48.960 in that moment to kind of humble me, or to 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:51.680 be or to be able to help advocate and share 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:54.400 her feelings in a very appropriate way. Because how many 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:57.400 times do we see kids lose? They're throwing stuff off 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:00.240 the met they're cursing out this one and again. Kids 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:02.879 make mistakes, right, just like adults do whatever, but kids 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:05.239 have should have more leeway. But I mean for her 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.240 to be mature enough in that moment, that's still got 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:09.360 to feel pretty good as a parent. 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:12.000 Yeah, it does. I mean she said to me like 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:14.760 after that, the next thing she said to me was, 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.080 I mean, really, do you do you think that I 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:21.000 wanted to lose? I was like, oh, gosh, no, I 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:25.280 know you. I know you didn't want to lose. So yeah, no, absolutely, man, 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:28.000