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Speaker 1: I made a conscious decision a few days a week

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Speaker 1: to actually spend time with a blank sheet of paper,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I would write things down, sometimes I wouldn't,

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Speaker 1: but just reflecting and meditating on what is.

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Speaker 2: My role as a coach, what is my role as a.

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Speaker 1: Parent, How do I want to carry myself?

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Speaker 2: And what do I want them to learn by watching me.

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Speaker 3: This is the Reform Sports Project, a podcast about restoring

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Speaker 3: healthy balance and perspective in all areas of sports through

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Speaker 3: education and advocacy. This is Nick Bonacor from the Reform

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Speaker 3: Sports Podcast. Today, I'm speaking with Jason Gore, wrestling coach, pastor,

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Speaker 3: and sports parent. A former captain of the North Carolina

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Speaker 3: State Wolfpack wrestling team. Jason's career path took him from

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Speaker 3: the business world into full time ministry, and eventually to

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Speaker 3: serving as a pastor. Through it all, he has remained

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Speaker 3: connected to his roots on the map, serving his community

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Speaker 3: as a youth wrestling coach and instilling the life and

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Speaker 3: leadership skills that meant so much to him growing up

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Speaker 3: into another generation of kids and teenagers. Jason and I

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Speaker 3: discussed balancing competitiveness with a healthy mindset, determining your value system,

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Speaker 3: and approach as a parent before your child steps onto

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Speaker 3: the field, or matt In teaching kids how to be

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Speaker 3: adults in today's world. Back in the Saddle, I got

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Speaker 3: a guest that I'm really excited I had opportunity to

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Speaker 3: connect with him this past wrestling season. My second oldest son, Tyler,

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Speaker 3: was finishing out a senior year of high school and

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Speaker 3: got to compete against his son. And man, he's a coach,

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Speaker 3: guy's a pastor, he's a former absolute stud for the

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Speaker 3: NC State Wolfpack, was a multi sport athlete in high

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Speaker 3: school himself, and I'm just super pumped to have him.

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Speaker 3: Jason Gore coach Gore, Pastor Gore, Jason Gore, thanks for

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Speaker 3: hopping on bro oh.

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Speaker 1: Man, listen. Couldn't be more excited to spend some time

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Speaker 1: with you on here. Love what you're doing, and man,

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Speaker 1: you got quite the family yourself.

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Speaker 2: Love.

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Speaker 1: I really enjoyed watching you guys interact and compete and

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Speaker 1: just really enjoy something that some people seemingly get super

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Speaker 1: stressed out about. And you guys are a joy to

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Speaker 1: watch from afar And yeah, man, couldn't be more stoke

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Speaker 1: to be on the podcast with you.

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Speaker 3: Well, dude, so that brings me to you know why

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Speaker 3: after we you know, we met briefly. Of course, my

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Speaker 3: son wrestled your son twice, but I just saw your engagement,

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Speaker 3: right and and and and you know a lot of

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Speaker 3: sports parents who listen to this, you know, youth coaches

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Speaker 3: and of course athletes as well. And where you really

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Speaker 3: caught my attention is, first of all, you're a physical specimen.

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Speaker 3: You're you're excessively intended to look at. I'm like, do

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Speaker 3: the cage fighter, what's going on here? But but you're

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Speaker 3: also a gentle giant, right And and what I love

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Speaker 3: most about everything is watching you coach is you're passionate.

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Speaker 3: You want your kids to do well. But this seems

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Speaker 3: to be a tremendous balance. How do you balance, man,

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Speaker 3: and you have a daughter that wrestles, you have a

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Speaker 3: younger son that's wrestled. How do you balance your competitiveness

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Speaker 3: as a former athlete, a guy who wants to win

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Speaker 3: see your kids be successful, while also looking at the

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Speaker 3: big picture, especially man in a sport right wrestling, where

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Speaker 3: it is so intense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great question and one I'm actually passionate about.

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Speaker 1: But I'll tell you the way that I balance it, honestly, Nick,

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Speaker 1: is by learning from doing it the wrong way, just

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Speaker 1: being perfectly honest with you. You mentioned, you know, competitive athlete

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Speaker 1: in college, and we've got three kids to do it,

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Speaker 1: and so our oldest are twins eight and Natty they're fifteen,

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Speaker 1: and then Connor's twelve. It's not something I'll tell you that,

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Speaker 1: and I certainly don't always get it right now, but

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Speaker 1: I didn't always get it right. But what I've realized

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Speaker 1: over the years, and this kind of gets into sports

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Speaker 1: psychology and something I've kind of nerded out about over

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Speaker 1: the last few years, but the reality is none of

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Speaker 1: us compete well, none of us do anything well when

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Speaker 1: we're really feeling the pressure. And then the flip side

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Speaker 1: to that is all of us are usually at our

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Speaker 1: best when we're laid back and relaxed. And so what

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Speaker 1: I've learned as a parent and as a coach is

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Speaker 1: you can go into these whether it's a wrestling tournament,

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Speaker 1: a football game, and dump all these pressure and these

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Speaker 1: high expectations on these young athletes or even on our

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Speaker 1: elves as adults. Maybe that's all different podcasts, or we

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Speaker 1: can go in say listen, I've prepared, I've trained life

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Speaker 1: is supposed to be fun. Let's just go out there

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Speaker 1: and let it fly and let the carters fall where

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Speaker 1: they may land. And I'm telling you, man, the relational connection,

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Speaker 1: the success, all that stuff comes when you just approach

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Speaker 1: it with a bit more healthy mindset. So I guess

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Speaker 1: that's a long way of saying I think I learned

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Speaker 1: by doing it the wrong way and learning, hey, this

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Speaker 1: isn't really yielding us the fruit that we want to see.

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Speaker 1: So man, let's just uh, let's let's take the pressure

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Speaker 1: off and let's just go out there and let it

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Speaker 1: fly and have a good time.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's not called the Reform Sports project. You know,

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Speaker 3: initially started off as a reform sports parent before it

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Speaker 3: evolved and you know, trial by fire, you know, like

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Speaker 3: I vividly remember, you know, my background. I played collegiate baseball.

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Speaker 3: Out of the audience knows this, and I remember my

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Speaker 3: son Tyler in particular. You know, he started getting into

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Speaker 3: All Stars at the young ages, and I was coaching,

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Speaker 3: and I'm I mean, I'm like, wow, I'm such a

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Speaker 3: great coach. Like my ego was totally involved. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it was like ridiculous. And then of course I realized,

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Speaker 3: you know, fast forward a couple of years, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: what in the God's name am I doing? Like it's

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Speaker 3: not about me, you know, it's not about me, but

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Speaker 3: it is hard at times to separate that. And you know,

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Speaker 3: I remember, man, I mean, I know you met Tyler.

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Speaker 3: Now he's eighteen years old, but I mean I remember

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Speaker 3: one time. Man, I can't forget it. I remember being

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Speaker 3: in the in the car on the way home with

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Speaker 3: him and telling him I was disappointed because the ball

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Speaker 3: went through his legs. I think it was eight years old,

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Speaker 3: and it was quote unquote a big game, you know,

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Speaker 3: recit baseball game, and I was disappointed, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I can't believe I said that. You know, I was agitated.

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Speaker 3: It's like, here's a kid who's seven eight years old,

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Speaker 3: who's probably got if I can visualize it right, he

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Speaker 3: probably had an orange Gatorade mustache at the time. He's

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Speaker 3: probably eating a hot dog, and I'm sitting there telling

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Speaker 3: him disappointing him from a ball going between his legs

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Speaker 3: and and you know, but that was kind of like

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Speaker 3: that moment I reflect, I'm like, what an absolute inbecilla was.

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Speaker 3: So I appreciate you getting vulnerable and saying, man, I

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Speaker 3: know I messed up, So how do you juggle though

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Speaker 3: that car ride?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 3: I mean go from coach to I've had people coaches,

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Speaker 3: you know who are sports parents say they literally pretend

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Speaker 3: they have two different has and they talk about the

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Speaker 3: how do you juggle the car ride?

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Speaker 1: So for me, the way I juggle the car ride.

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Speaker 1: And this is for all of us parents out there,

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Speaker 1: if you don't prepare ahead of time as a parent

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Speaker 1: and a coach, just the way we expect our athletes

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Speaker 1: to because I actually view like my I coach on

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Speaker 1: the field or in the matt room, and then I'm

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Speaker 1: a coach slash parent on the way home. But you

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Speaker 1: would never show up to a football game as a

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Speaker 1: coach unprepared, unplanned, without a game plan. And so, man,

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Speaker 1: if we don't spend time as parents ahead of time

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Speaker 1: saying okay, this is going to be my mentality after

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Speaker 1: this is why we're competing. This is what we hope

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Speaker 1: that our kids get out of this, this competition. And

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Speaker 1: when you get in the heat of the moment, if

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Speaker 1: you haven't planned, like what, and if you haven't really

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Speaker 1: thought about what your values are and what you hope

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Speaker 1: to get out of it. When you get in the

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Speaker 1: heat of the moment, you don't stand a chance because

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Speaker 1: the reality is we are a little bit disappointed when

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Speaker 1: stuff like that happens. But I'll tell you one thing

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Speaker 1: that I tell myself and I encourage other parents, you know,

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Speaker 1: if I'm coaching their kids, especially at sport like wrestling,

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Speaker 1: you got to realize, just by having a kid that

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Speaker 1: was willing to go to practice every day this week

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Speaker 1: and then show up and walk out on the mat

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Speaker 1: with one other person, with tens hundreds, maybe at state

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Speaker 1: term of thousands of people watching, they're already doing something

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Speaker 1: that the majority of the kids on the planet would

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Speaker 1: just wouldn't have the guts to do.

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Speaker 2: To be honest, we wouldn't have them intal toughness.

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Speaker 1: So just by doing that, and listen, I'm not a

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Speaker 1: participation trophy guy at all. Okay, so don't hear that,

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Speaker 1: But we got to realize, man, just by them taking

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Speaker 1: that step, they're already growing well beyond what the majority

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Speaker 1: of the young people in our world are doing right now.

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Speaker 1: And so when you can get that attitude of you know,

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Speaker 1: and you can get your value system before you actually

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Speaker 1: get in the moment, it really helps you when you

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Speaker 1: get into it.

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Speaker 3: So I know that you. I want to shift gears

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Speaker 3: a little bit because you brought up you know, competing

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Speaker 3: kind of like that free spirit, like in the mindset

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Speaker 3: of you know, having fun. And I know this because

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Speaker 3: you know, it's one of the things I was like,

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Speaker 3: Holy cal, I can't believe this dude actually did this.

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Speaker 3: You wrestled Kyle Sanderson. I don't know how many times,

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Speaker 3: you know, for those that don't know, if you're not

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Speaker 3: familiar with wrestling, Cale is like, you know, he's he's

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Speaker 3: the Goat. I mean, I would say he's the greatest

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Speaker 3: of all time, undefeated. I mean, he's the head coach

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Speaker 3: of Penn State Wrestling. It's unbelievable. And you wrestled him,

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Speaker 3: you competed. How were you you were still what nineteen

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty one years old at that time? How are

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Speaker 3: you not nervous a standing in front of a guy

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Speaker 3: like because I think it's important for people to realize,

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Speaker 3: like it's okay to be nervous because we're all you know,

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Speaker 3: you were wrestling the goat, but you know, we might

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Speaker 3: be fifteen years old, you know, Tyler and Aidan wrestling

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Speaker 3: to see who's going to wrestle for a third like

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Speaker 3: they did for them in that moment that might have

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Speaker 3: been that nervous moment. How do you mentally get yourself

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Speaker 3: ready in that situation?

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Speaker 1: So a lot of time Pactor. First of all, yeah, man,

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Speaker 1: going out, I've never felt so out of control of

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Speaker 1: my life, probably as in moments in that match wrestling

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Speaker 1: against Caley. Funny quick story. Then I answered the question, man,

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Speaker 1: we go out there, we were wrestling Iowa and listen.

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Speaker 1: It took me a while to get my head game

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Speaker 1: right in college.

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Speaker 2: I got hurt when I was a freshman.

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Speaker 1: I was out for a full year. I was originally

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Speaker 1: I beat out the starters here before it got hurt,

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Speaker 1: was out for a full year. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: wrestling Division one, you come back, you've been off the

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Speaker 1: map for twelve months, that's you're gonna take a beatn

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Speaker 1: when you first come back. And so I went from

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Speaker 1: being incredibly dominant in the state of North Carolina to

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Speaker 1: just being an average joe. And that really took a

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Speaker 1: toll on me mentally. So it took me a few

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Speaker 1: years to really get the right mindset. But wrestling Calee

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Speaker 1: my senior year, I had kind of finally landed the

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Speaker 1: mindset thing a bit more healthy. I'm telling you that,

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Speaker 1: as sure as I'm sitting here right now, I knew

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Speaker 1: I was gonna be the one. I was gonna be

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Speaker 1: the guy that beat him. You can probably go back

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Speaker 1: and watch the match on YouTube. Anything but that happened.

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Speaker 1: He kicked my butt up and down the mat. But

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Speaker 1: I will tell you that I had the mindset going

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Speaker 1: into this thaying like I'm not going into this with

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Speaker 1: the mindset of I must win and beat Cale Sanderson.

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Speaker 1: Was to train and to do all the little things right.

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Speaker 1: And I believe I've done all the little things right

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Speaker 1: up until this point. Now it's time for me to

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Speaker 1: go out there and trust my training and have a blast.

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Speaker 1: The funny story about that is we go out to Iowa,

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Speaker 1: we got this duel meet against them, and I come

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Speaker 1: out on the map. They call my name and it's

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Speaker 1: there's there's thousands and thousands of people at their home

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Speaker 1: wrestling matches, right, And so I go out the lights,

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Speaker 1: The place blasts out all right, and then all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, you just hear people are stomping on the

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Speaker 1: bleachers and clapping. The spotlight comes up, it goes down

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Speaker 1: on him, and it's like, for a moment, it feels

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Speaker 1: like this feels like a gladiator.

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Speaker 2: Is entering the ring to slaughter a lamb.

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Speaker 1: I mean this a bit and but you know, it's

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Speaker 1: it's all part of the deal. And uh, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean in that situation, it was just I'm here

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Speaker 1: to compete and let a fly man, it's an honor

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Speaker 1: and a privilege. Like we get to compete, we get

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Speaker 1: to wrestle, and if we have a competition mindset, we're

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Speaker 1: telling ourselves, hey, just being out here competing is helping

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Speaker 1: me sharpen my skills that aren't just valuable here on

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Speaker 1: the map, but also valuable in life. As it relates

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Speaker 1: to my kids, I really try to give them the

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Speaker 1: same Montra man, like, competing is an opportunity to actually

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Speaker 1: show what our training really can do. And so just

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Speaker 1: to be out there is the opportunity. So take advantage

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Speaker 1: of the opportunity. Win, lose, draw, try to win every second. Now,

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Speaker 1: I will say I've learned over the last two years

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Speaker 1: and then this year specifically as it relates to wrestling,

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Speaker 1: we don't talk a whole lot anymore about winning matches.

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Speaker 1: We talk a lot about controlling the second, being aggressive

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Speaker 1: in the moment. Let's win the second, let's score the

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Speaker 1: next point. The wins and losses will take care of themselves.

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Speaker 1: And what happens is that takes a lot of pressure

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Speaker 1: off because if you're losing four nothing, all you're doing

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Speaker 1: is worried about winning the next second. If you're up

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Speaker 1: five to nothing, you're just worried about winning the next second,

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Speaker 1: And so you don't have to carry all the pressure

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Speaker 1: of what's going to happen at the end of the match.

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Speaker 2: You just do what you need to do in the moment.

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Speaker 1: And we've found a lot of success with our kids

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Speaker 1: and then with some other with other athletes that I've

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Speaker 1: worked at, specifically in the last couple of years, just

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Speaker 1: focusing on the next second.

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Speaker 3: Listen, no one has more impact than the parent. I'm

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Speaker 3: the child, you know most of the time, but a

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Speaker 3: coach is right there as well. So do you try

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Speaker 3: to coach when you're at practice and parent at home? Like,

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Speaker 3: for instance, when you're doing the mental preparation, is that

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Speaker 3: something that you're really intentional about, Like you know with

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Speaker 3: all the kids that you coach at the high school level,

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Speaker 3: or even you know your younger son, like you mentioned Connor,

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Speaker 3: your daughter Addison, like, are you intentional? Because I feel

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Speaker 3: like it's so easy to go and you drill and

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Speaker 3: you do all the physical components, the conditioning, go live whatever.

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Speaker 3: How much time do you allocate towards really doing you know,

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Speaker 3: the mental the attitude, you know, focusing on effort and such.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, great question again, man, So two things I'll say

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Speaker 1: about that. So remind me to come back to wrestling

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Speaker 1: mindset and hopefully hopefully well remember to come back to it. Sure,

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Speaker 1: so we just going into Chris just before Christmas time.

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Speaker 1: And again this is going back to me being honest,

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Speaker 1: but I don't always get this right. My daughter and

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Speaker 1: I we were at Mark Adams Christmas Tournament, and I

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Speaker 1: don't think at that point she had lost. She's wrestling

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Speaker 1: in the finals against Teresa Kennedy, who is a just

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Speaker 1: a dear child.

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Speaker 2: She's a great, great young lady.

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Speaker 1: She's a senior. She was a state runner up last year.

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Speaker 1: And Patti took her down in the first period, as

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Speaker 1: went into nothing in the second period. It was kind

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Speaker 1: of even. Third period, Addie goes down quite honestly, makes

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Speaker 1: a pretty dumb mistake, you know, reaches back for a

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Speaker 1: leg gets a little sloppy, leaves her head by her knee,

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Speaker 1: and Teresa's a very savvy wrestler, slapped a cradle on her,

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Speaker 1: took her back, and pender and, man, I'm gonna.

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Speaker 2: Be honest, I was. I lost my cool a bit.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: She came up to matter, what the heck? Well, I

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Speaker 1: won't use the word, I probably use you know, what

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Speaker 1: the heck are you doing doing something sloppy? You know,

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Speaker 1: we don't teach that. We don't. And she looked at

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Speaker 1: me and she said, why are you acting like this?

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Speaker 1: I made a mistake. It's like, okay, wait, wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: this is uh. I got to call I gotta calm

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Speaker 1: down a little bit. And so it's probably I'd liking

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Speaker 1: that to the ball going between the legs. And so

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Speaker 1: that happened just before Christmas. And so if my wife

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Speaker 1: are on here, she would tell you the truth. I

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Speaker 1: told her. I said, man, I've got to do some

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Speaker 1: work myself. We ask these athletes to prepare mentally and physically,

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Speaker 1: and as a coach and as a dad. And I

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Speaker 1: would say this to any parent who's listening, or any coach,

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Speaker 1: if you expect your athletes to perform well.

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Speaker 2: In the heat of the moment.

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Speaker 1: You know how much work it takes to get them

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Speaker 1: ready to do that, Expect the same amount of yourself.

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Speaker 1: And so I made a conscious decision a few days

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Speaker 1: a week to actually spend time, like with a blank

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Speaker 1: sheet of paper, And sometimes I would write things down,

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Speaker 1: sometimes I wouldn't, but just reflecting and meditating on what

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Speaker 1: is my role as a coach, what is my role

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Speaker 1: as a parent, how do I want to carry myself?

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Speaker 1: And what do I want them to learn by watching me?

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Speaker 1: And when you spend that time in preparation, I mean,

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Speaker 1: and the brain, and the mind is just like any

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Speaker 1: other muscle, it's stronger in the moment. And so I

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Speaker 1: would say, how much time do you need to spend

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean a couple guys here talking

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Speaker 1: how big of a bozo are you as a parent?

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Speaker 1: I mean, are you the guy that's sitting behind home

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Speaker 1: plate hounding the official after every call? And whether you

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Speaker 1: know it or not, you're teaching a kid that they

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Speaker 1: can go to work one day and badmouth their supervisor.

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Speaker 1: Like at some point, somebody's in charge and it's not you,

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Speaker 1: And you got to learn how to deal with that.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, man, I actually literally I had to spend time,

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Speaker 1: you know, throughout our Christmas break and over China and

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Speaker 1: throughout the month of January, and I'll tell you it

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Speaker 1: radically changed my perspective. And if my daughter were on here,

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Speaker 1: she would tell you like her second half of the

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Speaker 1: season with me as her coach Dad was so much

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Speaker 1: more of a joy. She did end up wrestling Teresa

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Speaker 1: again as a side note, in the regional finals, lost

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Speaker 1: to Teresa again, but I think it was much closer match. Well,

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Speaker 1: I mean it was close until the end of the

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Speaker 1: first one, but but yeah, it was like, man, We're

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Speaker 1: just going to go out here and have a good

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Speaker 1: time and let it fly, and totally different feeling come

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Speaker 1: at home after that tournament.

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Speaker 3: When we return, Coach Gore and I dive into the

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Speaker 3: wrestling mindset before we go to break. I've got another

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Speaker 3: exciting announcement for you. Team Snap, the leading provider of

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Speaker 3: sports management software, has acquired Mojo. In addition to the

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Speaker 3: best in class sports management solutions used by more than

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Speaker 3: two million daily active users and nineteen thousand sports organizations,

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00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 3: Team Snap will now offer Mojo's award winning library of games, drills,

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00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,800
Speaker 3: and session by session support for youth coaches, as well

362
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:37,080
Speaker 3: as robust interactive multimedia tools including live streaming for families

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00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 3: and fans to engage on and off the field. The

364
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,880
Speaker 3: combination of the two industry leading consumer tech platforms also

365
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,880
Speaker 3: creates the most comprehensive suite of B to B tools

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00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:51,239
Speaker 3: available for youth sports organizations, including powerful content distribution capabilities

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00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 3: to drive adoption of coaching and training programs, registration tools,

368
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:59,080
Speaker 3: payment processing, organizational management tools, and much more. To learn more,

369
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 3: visit WWAW dot teamsnap dot com and set up a

370
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,760
Speaker 3: free demo to learn how Team Snap can help your

371
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Speaker 3: organization this season. Where we left off, Jason and I

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Speaker 3: were about to discuss his approach to helping his athletes

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Speaker 3: prepare mentally almost as much as they prepare physically before

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Speaker 3: stepping onto the map. We'll get back to the wrestling

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Speaker 3: mindset everything in a minute. I want to touch on

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Speaker 3: Addison right there, Like, man, kids have a way of

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Speaker 3: teaching us.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 3: It's like, just when you said that to me about Dad,

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Speaker 3: why are you doing that? I'm like I felt that,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like yeah, because i know I've done that before.

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Speaker 3: You know, Like and if whoever's listening out, there's a

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Speaker 3: sports parent. You know, if you've never felt that way,

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Speaker 3: but like the maturity it kind of you know, it's

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Speaker 3: got to make you feel like, man, I must be

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Speaker 3: doing something right for my daughter to feel confident enough

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Speaker 3: in that moment to kind of humble me, or to

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Speaker 3: be or to be able to help advocate and share

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Speaker 3: her feelings in a very appropriate way. Because how many

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Speaker 3: times do we see kids lose? They're throwing stuff off

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Speaker 3: the met they're cursing out this one and again. Kids

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Speaker 3: make mistakes, right, just like adults do whatever, but kids

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Speaker 3: have should have more leeway. But I mean for her

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Speaker 3: to be mature enough in that moment, that's still got

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Speaker 3: to feel pretty good as a parent.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it does. I mean she said to me like

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Speaker 1: after that, the next thing she said to me was,

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Speaker 1: I mean, really, do you do you think that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to lose? I was like, oh, gosh, no, I

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Speaker 1: know you. I know you didn't want to lose. So yeah, no, absolutely, man,

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Speaker 1: I mean, and that's that's what this is all about, right,

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Speaker 1: We're not I mean, look, I'm gonna say this in

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Speaker 1: in complete humility here, by God's grace, you know, our

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Speaker 1: kids love to compete in athletics, and they're they're pretty

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Speaker 1: dang good, you know, given their age and and so

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Speaker 1: there is a possibility that they and even a likelihood

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Speaker 1: that they will compete at the next level in whatever

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Speaker 1: sport they continue to apply themselves to. But the reality

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Speaker 1: is most kids aren't going to be professional athletes, and

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Speaker 1: nobody really wants to hear that. But even if they

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Speaker 1: are professional athletes, how many professional athles fleets do we know?

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Speaker 1: To make a ton of money, blow a ton of money,

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Speaker 1: end up on somebody's social media, end up on the

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Speaker 1: news clips because they handle themselves in an inappropriate way.

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Speaker 1: So it's just so easy to lose sight of what's

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Speaker 1: really most important, which is really teaching our young people

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Speaker 1: how to be adults in today's world. And because there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of people in today's world that don't know

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Speaker 1: how to be adults. So that's a long way of saying, yeah,

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Speaker 1: incredibly proud. I mean that was a that was a

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Speaker 1: moment of like, man, we slipped up in this wrestling match,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, she's got some good things.

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Speaker 2: Going for man.

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Speaker 3: I freaking love that, and real quick, I think it's

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Speaker 3: important because it's just as important for kids to learn

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Speaker 3: from a competitive mind to learn about the used to

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Speaker 3: call that the wrestling mindset, but I think that can

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Speaker 3: apply to any sport. How far do you take, you know,

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Speaker 3: being intentional of really helping these kids become better in

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Speaker 3: their mind to prepare to compete.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so here's here's the thing. But so wrestling mindset.

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00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 1: And you may or may not know.

433
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,120
Speaker 3: I know the company, Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah so, and.

434
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,359
Speaker 1: This isn't a I don't work for them. I've had

435
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 1: some conversations with some people that do. We've actually considered

436
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 1: becoming a client of theirs. We haven't done it yet.

437
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,199
Speaker 1: But one of the things that they point out is

438
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 1: we spend so much time focusing on the physical side

439
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 1: of any sport, all right, so it doesn't have to

440
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,680
Speaker 1: just be wrestling. This group, you know, primarily focuses on wrestling,

441
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 1: and like, if you think about it, probably ninety nine

442
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 1: percent of what you do at a wrestling practice, or

443
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 1: at a baseball practice or a football practice is working on technique.

444
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 1: It's working on the schemes, it's working on the philosophies

445
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 1: and working on conditioning. But most people would say a

446
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 1: sport like wrestling, let's just make up a percentage here

447
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 1: because we can do that is at least fifty percent metal. Right, Like,

448
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 1: if you go into a match knowing you're going to lose,

449
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: or if you go into a match super stressed out,

450
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 1: the likelihood of you winning that match is greatly reduced.

451
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 1: And I would say, if somebody thinks they're going to lose,

452
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 1: it's like you have no chance of winning. And so

453
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: we've got to find ways to spend more time focusing

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00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,360
Speaker 1: on the mental aspect. Now, when you ask me specifically

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00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:09,439
Speaker 1: how much time I would say in the room, I

456
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 1: really with our head coach at the at the at

457
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: Garner High School, so I was technically the assistant there

458
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 1: this year, the head girls coach. By the end of

459
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 1: the year, I would say we were spending maybe the

460
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 1: last five to seven minutes of a two hour practice

461
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 1: just talking about the mental game. Probably not enough time,

462
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 1: but I will tell you there's a number of athletes

463
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: on that team that went out of their way to

464
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 1: let me know how much that actually changed the way

465
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: they approach competition. Now, for me personally, at home, I

466
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,199
Speaker 1: have the luxury of having, you know, our athletes, our

467
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: children in our house, and so we very rarely talk

468
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: technique at home, but we regularly talk about the mental

469
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 1: approach to the game. So I don't know how to

470
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 1: quantify it, but I would say as a parent and

471
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 1: at home, I spend more time talking about the mental side.

472
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 1: And I would say to a parent out there, especially

473
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 1: if you're not a coach, get your athlete around coaches

474
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: that you trust. If you don't trust them, that's a

475
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: whole nother problem. But get your athletes around coaches that

476
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: can build into the physical side and hopefully touch the

477
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: mental side. But nobody is going to really be able

478
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: to speak to the mental side to the emotional side

479
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 1: like a parent, because a parent really knows the athlete,

480
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: probably better than the coach does, so you actually know

481
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 1: what their real insecurities are. You really know what their

482
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 1: true hopes are in life overall. And so I would

483
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: say at practice, you probably need tend to like inresting mindset,

484
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 1: will probably say, man, let's try to get closer to

485
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 1: twenty percent mental. That can be a lot. You got

486
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 1: a limited time. But I would say at home, as

487
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: a parent, I think we need to focus more on

488
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: the mental approach, way more than we need to be

489
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: talking about the physical side. And even the Wins and

490
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: Losses coach.

491
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 3: I freaking love this. I love listening to you. You

492
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 3: got a podcast? You know people want to follow you,

493
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 3: they want to see what you're doing. Where can they

494
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 3: connect with you and listen to your stuff?

495
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm on Instagram, just Jason Gore. It's pretty

496
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: easy to track down. And then if you're looking to

497
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: track with this on a podcast, We've got We launched

498
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: a new podcast last year. It's just called Hope in

499
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,439
Speaker 1: Real Life with Jason Gore and Our Desire. We've got

500
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,639
Speaker 1: a whole team. Their primary focus is actually bring hope

501
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: into the real, everyday moments of our lives. And so

502
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: whether that's talking about marriage, whether it's talking about parenting,

503
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: where it's talking about finances, where it's talk about leadership

504
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: and success in the marketplace, we bring in different subject

505
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: matter experts and just talk about man, how can we

506
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: find growth? How can we find hope in the everyday

507
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: moments that all of its experience in everyday life. So

508
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 1: you can go wherever you download digital content, you can

509
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,879
Speaker 1: find us on Instagram or wherever you check out podcasts,

510
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 1: just Hope in Real Life with Jason Gore, and you'll

511
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: see a bald guy with a beard, and yeah, man,

512
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 1: check us out.

513
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: You know, I can attest to the bald guy with

514
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 3: a beard and the cauliflower ears and the shoulders that

515
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,959
Speaker 3: look like a damn eighth And I will tell you

516
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 3: that from my run ins with you, you're a guy that

517
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 3: I want to have if I was walking down a

518
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 3: dark alley and a guy wouldn't want to run into.

519
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 3: But just like most guys like you who can tie

520
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 3: someone up in a pretzel, you're extremely gracious, humble, and man,

521
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 3: I'm really grateful that I got the chance to meet

522
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 3: with you, that our son's got to connect Tyler couldn't

523
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,679
Speaker 3: speak high enough about Aiden, and we didn't get to

524
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,679
Speaker 3: talk much to your daughter Addie and such. But I mean,

525
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 3: it's gonna be fun following your family and keeping up

526
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 3: with you as the years continue on. So I really

527
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 3: can't thank you enough for coming on coach and means

528
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 3: the world, hey right.

529
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: Back at you. They can listen. These types of conversations

530
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: are conversations that need to happen, man, So I applaud you,

531
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 1: and I've enjoyed checking out the podcast as well, So

532
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 1: keep it up and let's do it again sometime soon.

533
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 3: That sounds like a planing coach. Thank you so much.

534
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 3: That's Jason Gore, former NC State Wolfpack wrestling team captain,

535
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 3: high school wrestling coach, pastor, and sports parent. Thanks for

536
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 3: listening to the Reform Sports Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode,

537
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 3: we would appreciate it if if you took a moment

538
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 3: to rate and review our podcast. As we work to

539
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 3: grow our community of supporters and advocates for more reform

540
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 3: sports content, please subscribe to our newsletter and blog at

541
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 3: Reformsports Project dot com. You can also follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram,

542
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 3: and LinkedIn