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Speaker 1: We're quickly approaching our retreat.

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Speaker 2: We would love love to have you come with us.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be amazing. We have healers, workshops, astrologers,

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Speaker 2: tarot readers. It's really a trip about choosing yourself and

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Speaker 2: taking time for yourself.

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Speaker 3: This is a great opportunity to meet new women, like

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Speaker 3: minded women, take time to heal and grow and connect.

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Speaker 3: We're going to our favorite place in Costa Rica, Porto

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Speaker 3: Viejo on the Caribbean side of Costa Rica. It's going

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Speaker 3: to be a journey.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be beautiful, and not only that, we

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Speaker 2: take care of everything. You don't have to do anything

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Speaker 2: except show up. Everything is provided for you. And I

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Speaker 2: think that a lot of times trips can feel very overwhelming,

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Speaker 2: and we've done all the overwhelming shit for you.

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Speaker 3: The activities, your hotel, s day, your transportation, your meals.

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Speaker 3: Everything is going to be curated and beautiful, gourmet and delicious.

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Speaker 3: You're going to be in an oasis with wonderful women.

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Speaker 2: So make sure you go to Good Momsbad Choices dot

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Speaker 2: com Backslash Retreats, or just click the link in this

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Speaker 2: episode description to secure your spot and we'll see you

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Speaker 2: in the jungle. Welcome back to good mom's bad choices.

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Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy hump Day.

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Speaker 2: It's humpyy hump tump. I feel good today.

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Speaker 4: Thank God.

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Speaker 2: I don't know good cause last week I was like, girl,

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Speaker 2: you're supposed to support me through my I did.

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Speaker 4: God, I did support you, but I was sure.

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Speaker 2: I was also scared for you can't hold it all

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Speaker 2: together all the fucking time.

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Speaker 3: I was concerned for your well being and also your eyesight.

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Speaker 3: You were doing a lot of driving with those with

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Speaker 3: those dry eyes, and I was concerned.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think trap Yoga Bay was right shout out

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Speaker 2: to Britanny because she told me that I was having

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Speaker 2: migrain and that's I think that's really what it was.

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Speaker 2: I think that it wasn't that I had dry eyes.

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Speaker 2: It was that I was having a migraine even though

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Speaker 2: my head wasn't hurting.

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Speaker 4: Oh right, Yeah, I'm so happy that you're feeling better now, sweetheart.

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Speaker 2: I know hopefully can be we can sustain this feeling.

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Speaker 4: Whatever it takes. How is your week?

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Speaker 1: What have you been doing?

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Speaker 4: Love?

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Speaker 2: My week has been good. I've just been like succumbing

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Speaker 2: to the day. Do you know what I mean, and

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Speaker 2: not trying to fight against it because I do that

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Speaker 2: every day, Like I do that all the time. As

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Speaker 2: far as like if I haven't finished something that I've

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Speaker 2: said I'm going to finish, I will push the boundaries

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Speaker 2: and limits of my mental and physical capacity to finish

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Speaker 2: it because I feel bad if I don't. And like

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Speaker 2: yesterday I had shit to do, but I had a

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Speaker 2: migraine and I just really couldn't do anything about it,

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Speaker 2: so I just went to sleep.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes you have to.

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Speaker 3: Just submit to your body and submit to the fact that, like,

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Speaker 3: shit will get done eventually, and if you don't get

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Speaker 3: done today, everybody will be okay.

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Speaker 2: I mean it helps that I have another business partner.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, I can't do it. I'm like, are

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Speaker 2: you okay?

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Speaker 4: Over there?

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Speaker 2: You gotta do it? Sorry, I'm blind.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, Well, I wouldn't recommend you keep texting me,

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Speaker 3: Like why are you texting me? Speaking of hard work,

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Speaker 3: today we pulled a card like we do every top

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Speaker 3: of the show, and today's card is the Night of Pentacles,

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Speaker 3: And you know what, we started this to like have

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Speaker 3: structure in our show. But I'm kind of proud that

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of learning the tarots. I'm actually not only

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Speaker 3: am I learning the tarots, but I've been trying to

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Speaker 3: teach Luna how to read tarot's intuitively. I have another

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Speaker 3: witchy friend and I was telling her that we'll like

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Speaker 3: play with the cards. I'll let her pull them and

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Speaker 3: then tell me what they make her feel like or

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Speaker 3: what they like based on the suits and the signs.

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Speaker 3: And we were doing it the other night, and my

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Speaker 3: little witchy ass child was on point. So I'm happy

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Speaker 3: you guys are all learning taro with me. This is

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Speaker 3: the Night of Pinnacles and the Night. Like in most

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Speaker 3: of the suits, it represents hard work, and this one

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Speaker 3: particularly is about structure. Hard work, dear. Maybe that's why

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Speaker 3: your eyes are telling you you've worked hard enough. It

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Speaker 3: also means it shows that you're a natural planner and implementer.

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Speaker 3: You envision your goal, determine the best course of action,

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Speaker 3: and then stick to your path with the methodical and

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Speaker 3: relentless focus. When you're an implementation mode, the job will

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Speaker 3: get done, even if it requires hard work along the way.

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Speaker 3: Meticulous in your approach, you make sure that everything is

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Speaker 3: planned and executed down to the tiniest detail. And you

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Speaker 3: will never leave a job half done. It is essential

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Speaker 3: to you that you complete all as scient tasks and

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Speaker 3: projects to a certain standard, that you follow through on

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Speaker 3: your promises. Sometimes the Night of Pentacles points to more

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Speaker 3: mundane or boring aspects of life, the daily grind, repetitive schedules,

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Speaker 3: household chores, and other responsibilities and obligations. You may be

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Speaker 3: assigned a project or give a task to do, and

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Speaker 3: you will have to commit your time to see the

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Speaker 3: project through. It suggests that you are taking a moderate

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Speaker 3: and conservative approach to life right now, and while you

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Speaker 3: may be feeling that change is eminent, you are sticking

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Speaker 3: to your tried and tested ways of doing things. You

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Speaker 3: have established that you need routine and careful planning if

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Speaker 3: you are to achieve your goals. It may not necessarily

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Speaker 3: be an exciting period, but at least you know you're

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Speaker 3: on the right path.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy that I pulled that card, because I really

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Speaker 2: that has been like on my heart like the past

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Speaker 2: week or two. I've been telling you how like we

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Speaker 2: and I'm in me too, like we need structure, like

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Speaker 2: way more structure in our business. That I need to

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Speaker 2: have a schedule, and that I like I need to

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Speaker 2: create a schedule for myself and actually write down breaks

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Speaker 2: within my schedule that I can take because if I don't,

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Speaker 2: I will never take them. And that also speaks to

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Speaker 2: me too, because I recently enrolled in school and our

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Speaker 2: back to school month of September really inspired me. I

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Speaker 2: think that inspired me our conversation with Sylvia. If you

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Speaker 2: guys haven't checked out that episode with Sylvia and Cestral,

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Speaker 2: she did our natal chart reading, and in my natal

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Speaker 2: chart reading, she told me that my healing powers were

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Speaker 2: in sex and that I really need to tap into

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Speaker 2: that part of my journey into being a healer. And

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Speaker 2: so I started researching. You know, what can I learn

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Speaker 2: that would be of interest to me? Because I think

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Speaker 2: me and Mila both have like been like, we need.

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Speaker 4: To go back to school.

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Speaker 2: We need to be like smart bitches.

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Speaker 4: That's the voice we used.

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Speaker 2: I want a smart bitch.

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Speaker 4: Me too.

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Speaker 2: Of course, I went on, like, let me look on

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Speaker 2: Valley College.

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Speaker 4: You stop with this. I don't know if anyone's noticed.

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Speaker 3: Me and Erica also always used particular voices for particular things.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, this is what we.

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Speaker 2: Need to actually, she heard us editing the like sending

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Speaker 2: David notes for our retreat. Our retreat video was like

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Speaker 2: and then you walk into the jungle.

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Speaker 1: You were like, MB, welcome to the jungle, Welcome to

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Speaker 1: the ready jungles of coastery Retreat.

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Speaker 2: I don't like, why are we talking like?

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Speaker 4: I was like, I don't know, that's how we're supposed

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Speaker 4: to read it.

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Speaker 1: He'll make friends retreat.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, should we send David a voice note so

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Speaker 3: he knows this is how it should sound. He's like, no,

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Speaker 3: I hope everyone out there read our retreat just a

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Speaker 3: retreat video.

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Speaker 2: Just like that. He'll connect.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, I've looked on websites of traditional colleges and

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Speaker 2: thought about like what courses can I take, and they

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Speaker 2: all are like I get like anxiety and then I

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Speaker 2: like close my computer. I'm like nevermind. So I listened

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Speaker 2: to Sylvia. I was like, well, let me like see

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Speaker 2: if like maybe something in sex. So I started looking

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Speaker 2: into Tantra. I started looking into different like ways that

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Speaker 2: I could educate myself, and sexology came up and I

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Speaker 2: was thinking, wow, like I've interviewed two really amazing sexologists,

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Speaker 2: you know, St. Shan Booty and Chelle Hope, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like it spoke to me, I was like, why

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Speaker 2: would I not try to apply myself in this way?

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Speaker 2: We talk about sex all the time, and people are

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Speaker 2: always coming to us and me for sex advice and

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Speaker 2: even my married friends. And I'm like, if only I

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Speaker 2: had like real actionable tools that I could share with them, like, hey,

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Speaker 2: let me ow funny you ask, let me open up study.

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Speaker 4: Study.

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Speaker 2: In nineteen seventy two, said so, yeah, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: Sex Coach University. Last week was my first week. It's

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Speaker 2: an eighteen month program and it's kind of go at

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Speaker 2: your own pace. But I know that in order for

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Speaker 2: me to acomplish this and the overachieving bitch that I am,

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Speaker 2: I'm want to get passes on every single you know module,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to have to create structure and a schedule

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Speaker 2: because we already have a lot going on. And what

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Speaker 2: does an anxiety bitch like me like to do? Add

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Speaker 2: more shit to my place?

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Speaker 4: It's my favorite fucking hobby.

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Speaker 3: But not doing anything would also give you anxiety, you know.

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Speaker 3: It's like, not doing shit gives you anxiety. Doing a

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Speaker 3: lot of shit gives you anxiety.

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Speaker 4: You can't win. This is an anxiety.

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Speaker 2: Maybe do medium shit. I don't know. I know, I

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Speaker 2: was talking to this guy that I've been chatting with,

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Speaker 2: and I was telling him that I could never be

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Speaker 2: a stay at home wife because I would be depressed.

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Speaker 2: And there was a time in my life when I

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Speaker 2: was pregnant that I didn't work and I was super sad.

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Speaker 2: And that was probably why, because I was like, what

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Speaker 2: the fuck am I doing? Like I'm just sitting. I

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Speaker 2: mean I was doing a lot, like, you know, creating life,

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Speaker 2: but still I felt like useless. I'm a doer.

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Speaker 3: Like when I grew up, I was adamant that I

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Speaker 3: was going to be a housewife.

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Speaker 4: That was my goal.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to be a housewife and I wanted to

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Speaker 3: like I just wanted to look pretty and other people

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Speaker 3: pay my bills. But God didn't want that for that's

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Speaker 3: so interesting.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, by the time I was like fifteen, wait, why.

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Speaker 2: Like did you see someone else do that? Or you

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Speaker 2: just were like it just sounded.

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Speaker 4: Like it just sounded like me.

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Speaker 3: I sound like I could be beautiful, I could have

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Speaker 3: a big house, I could cook and like make sure

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Speaker 3: the house was clean, and like I would be satisfied

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Speaker 3: in that.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why I didn't see that.

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Speaker 3: My mom actually did stay home and then she became

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Speaker 3: really miserable. So I don't know why that was in

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Speaker 3: my cards. But it's not like especially you know what it is.

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Speaker 3: I think more so at that age, I didn't realize

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Speaker 3: I think housewives are doers though, no, they are doers

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Speaker 3: if you're good at it. I'm not a good housewife.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why that was in my cards, Like

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Speaker 3: I can I can't. It's not that they're not doors.

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Speaker 3: I just think I like to follow if I feel

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Speaker 3: confident in my leader. If I have a lead that's

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Speaker 3: going to take care of the bills, going to buy

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Speaker 3: the house, and I could just decorate that bitch. I

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Speaker 3: could do that to a tea, just give me the money. However,

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Speaker 3: if I see which happened to me, I thought I

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Speaker 3: was going to be in a position I could just chill,

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Speaker 3: and then I saw that the partner that I chose

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Speaker 3: was not I could not chill. We would be fucking

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Speaker 3: living in his mom's garage if I did that that.

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Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm also like I could chill

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Speaker 3: in a group of people until I see no one's

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Speaker 3: doing the right thing, or we're taking the long way

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Speaker 3: when we can go straight to the fucking location. And

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Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, wait, wait, now, if you're good at leading,

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Speaker 3: I'll do it. But if you're not, then I will

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Speaker 3: sit back, you know. But I'm really excited for you.

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Speaker 3: I'm excited for your your school journey. I'm also going

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Speaker 3: to join school, but like share and clueless, I'm trying

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Speaker 3: to negotiate a discount. I'm still trying to negotiate a

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Speaker 3: discount before I get into that school.

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Speaker 4: But I'm excited for us, and I'm excited just.

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Speaker 3: For all of the project, the four hundred projects that

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Speaker 3: we start together. And even when it gets overwhelming and

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm going to cry, I still like

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Speaker 3: I would really have to take a step back and

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Speaker 3: give thanks that this is the problem.

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Speaker 4: I'm so stressed.

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Speaker 3: I have so much things I want to develop, you know,

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Speaker 3: and like it's and even like speak on the card

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Speaker 3: or speaking on what we're just talking about there. You know,

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Speaker 3: this has been a crazy fucking two years and personally

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Speaker 3: and in the world. And there was a time where

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Speaker 3: shit was not going well for me, Like I was

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Speaker 3: very stressed out, but it was like always something in

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Speaker 3: my gut. Because we do have a lot of projects,

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Speaker 3: we do plan a lot of scenes that I wasn't

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Speaker 3: really worried.

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm like, shit's fucked up. I'm not well,

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Speaker 4: but I.

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Speaker 3: Know where we're heading and I know what we're doing,

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Speaker 3: and I feel so confident here and so like, I

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Speaker 3: just know that this is where I'm supposed to be,

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Speaker 3: and so I'm just like, I wouldn't rather be doing

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Speaker 3: shit else, but what I'm doing same same.

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Speaker 2: I prayed for this. There was literally a time where

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Speaker 2: I had I felt like I had no purpose, and

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Speaker 2: I going back and reading my journals. I reread those

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Speaker 2: and I was like, yep, yep, definitely felt that way.

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Speaker 2: And here I am and I have anxiety and I'm

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Speaker 2: having migraines and shit because I have a lot going

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Speaker 2: on and I'm not managing my time well. But I

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Speaker 2: literally prayed to be fucking busy as fuck, and here

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Speaker 2: I am.

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Speaker 3: So thank you God, thank God. I gotta I got

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Speaker 3: my I'm an esthetician. If no one knows, I'm a

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Speaker 3: licensed a setitian. But I got my license renewed in

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Speaker 3: the mail, and it dawned on me. I've been a

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Speaker 3: licensed esthetician for eight fucking years.

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Speaker 4: Hey, I didn't know that.

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Speaker 3: I was like, damn, Okay, I'm a vet, but there

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Speaker 3: was a time where I didn't feel fulfilled doing that.

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Speaker 3: You know, like people my baby daddy make me feel

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Speaker 3: bad about that, like you're not doing shit in life,

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Speaker 3: You're not changing anything. I'm like, I'm changing the world

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Speaker 3: doing lashes. Okay, but it just feel beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Let's talking about girl anyway.

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Speaker 4: But I wasn't feeling right I was doing.

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Speaker 3: But it just makes me realize, like even for women

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Speaker 3: out here who are in that space experiencing things where

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Speaker 3: they're uncertain or not in their passion yet and they're

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Speaker 3: in jobs they're not happy with trades, Like getting a

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Speaker 3: trade is the shit, you know, like a two year

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Speaker 3: college a certification.

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Speaker 4: I'm about that life.

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Speaker 3: Like I went to college, I didn't finish, but like

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Speaker 3: getting my esthetition license, I did it when I was pregnant.

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Speaker 3: It was like, by far the best decision that I made,

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Speaker 3: because it made me realize like I could finish something.

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Speaker 3: I could start a business and and I could be

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Speaker 3: independent in it and like not have to clock in,

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Speaker 3: not have to talk to anybody, because that was the thing,

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Speaker 3: like don't talk to me, hire me. But after that,

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Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm gonna do my job. Let me the

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Speaker 3: fuck alone. I don't want to have a meeting. But

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Speaker 3: like that really gave me confidence. And that's why I'm

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Speaker 3: excited that we're going into this space where we can

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Speaker 3: apply other certifications and trainings and education into this.

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Speaker 4: Beautiful world that we've created here.

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Speaker 2: Dear amen, Amen, I have an affirmation for the day.

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Speaker 4: Oh please share.

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Speaker 2: So today's affirmation is and this is thank you. This

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Speaker 2: is again trap Yoga Bay because if you haven't listened

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Speaker 2: to her episode, she was dropping serious gems and now

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Speaker 2: I'm fully obsessed with her.

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Speaker 4: Yeah I am too, I'm like, are besties? Yeah, okay, perfect.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to go up to her sky rise at

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Speaker 2: the top of the of the the penthouse suite and

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Speaker 2: look down at the peasants with her. Okay. So today's

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Speaker 2: affirmation is be the change you want to see in

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Speaker 2: your parents.

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Speaker 3: Like that, be the change you want to see in

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Speaker 3: your parents. Some people may take that personally, but let's

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Speaker 3: face it. Parents can change, and they didn't do everything perfect,

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Speaker 3: and you know.

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Speaker 2: I think, I mean, this doesn't always happen, but when

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Speaker 2: you do, when your parents see you change, sometimes they

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Speaker 2: follow suit and sometimes they learn from you. But really

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Speaker 2: it's about just kind of being able to do this

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Speaker 2: on do this whole thing the way you want to

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Speaker 2: do it. This is what kind of like the whole

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Speaker 2: podcast is about, too, is like releasing shame, releasing these

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Speaker 2: stigmas and redesigning how you want to show up in

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Speaker 2: the world as a parent for your kids. And that

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Speaker 2: kind of leads us to today's topic, which you know,

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Speaker 2: we've talked a lot about how to talk about you know,

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Speaker 2: body parts with your kids, but I think that it's

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Speaker 2: time for a refresher because we get questions like about

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Speaker 2: this all the time, and so me and Mila wanted

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Speaker 2: to do and have a conversation and just give you

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Speaker 2: guys some actionable tools on how to talk about buy

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Speaker 2: parts with your kids, whether you know you have babies, toddlers, teenagers.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to say it's too late.

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Speaker 2: It's not too late. It's never too late. But your

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Speaker 2: kids probably have seen some shit.

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Speaker 4: I probably have. The Internet is a wild, wild place.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So these are five ways that you can talk

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Speaker 2: about you know, body parts with your children.

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Speaker 3: You know, we're all about honest parenting and good moms,

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Speaker 3: especially honest parenting in a age appropriate way. Let's you know,

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Speaker 3: emphasis on age appropriate. I think people see like, are

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Speaker 3: what is our tagline? Like sex positive, cannadis positive moms

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Speaker 3: someone I was reading a Facebook comment, They're like, what

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Speaker 3: the fuck is sex positive?

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Speaker 4: I'm like, sound it out.

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Speaker 2: But wait, I was actually looking at our feed today

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Speaker 2: because I posted this story where Iri was doing her

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Speaker 2: own hair. She was doing her own hair, and literally

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Speaker 2: the clip before that was a clip with trap Yoga

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Speaker 2: Bay where she's talking about how she almost went to

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Speaker 2: jail over Dick Singapore and literally was like I almost

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Speaker 2: went to jail over Dick and Singapore. It was like

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Speaker 2: written bold pink, and then the next clip is Iri

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Speaker 2: like thumbs up. I was like, wow, maybe could have

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Speaker 2: broken this feet.

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Speaker 4: Up I put I put a picture in between.

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Speaker 2: There's no picture in between, babe. Mm hm no, it's

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Speaker 2: literally Dix and then my kid.

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Speaker 3: So well, guess what, Dick's got your kid here. I

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Speaker 3: didn't say it was good Dick that maybe put you

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Speaker 3: in jail, but it got your kid here. So this

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Speaker 3: is a place of honesty and if you can't handle it,

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Speaker 3: here's the door. Okay, we all we acknowledged that Dick's

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Speaker 3: got our kids here, and this is.

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Speaker 4: The place to find peace in it.

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Speaker 2: I accepted it. I was like, well, it's up here,

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Speaker 2: it's there. Whatever. You know what they're going to see.

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Speaker 2: It's it's versatility, baby, it's not.

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Speaker 4: Aways a versatility. We're adults.

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Speaker 3: If we can't have adult conversations pertaining to our children

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Speaker 3: and pertaining to life, pertaining to sex, pertaining to all

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Speaker 3: of the things, there's a problem. And that's why we

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Speaker 3: created this motherfucking podcast, because there is a problem, and

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Speaker 3: we are the change we want to sing in the world.

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Speaker 2: And that brings me to number one on the list

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Speaker 2: is don't wait any longer and get everyone on board.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yes, don't.

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Speaker 3: I think people it's such an awkward conversation and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: my kid's already fourteen. I'm sure they're they're good. They're good,

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Speaker 3: and no, they're not good. Think about you when you

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Speaker 3: were fourteen or twelve or whatever age and.

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Speaker 4: I'm sixteen, just I was not well.

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Speaker 3: Like I had discovered my pussy and I was going

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Speaker 3: crazy crazy.

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Speaker 4: When I discovered my vagina.

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Speaker 2: I probably hadn't looked at it though, no, I.

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Speaker 3: Hadn't looked at it, but like when I just discovered

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Speaker 3: that it could get fucked Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 4: I went up. I was not.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, it's true though, Like your hormones are fucking

400
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Speaker 3: raging at like, you know, we look at like pregnant women.

401
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:55,639
Speaker 3: Oh they're hormonal. Oh they're crazy, bitch. Teenagers are crazy

402
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Speaker 3: and hormonal. They're not human. You have to like treat

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Speaker 3: them as such. So I think, like it doesn't matter

404
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,200
Speaker 3: what age. And you know, another thing that I've noticed

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Speaker 3: with this that people shy away from these conversations. And

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Speaker 3: this is which is kind of weird to me. A

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Speaker 3: lot of times people who have experienced abuse in childhood,

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Speaker 3: sexual abuse kind of don't even dig into this because

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Speaker 3: it's so uncomfortable and there's so much trauma attached to children.

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Speaker 4: And like abuse, you know.

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Speaker 3: And the thing is, we have these conversations to prevent

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Speaker 3: shit like that because it happens all the time.

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Speaker 2: Was that well that kind of leads back to the affirmation.

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Speaker 2: It's like, be the change that you want. You know,

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Speaker 2: you didn't see in your parents. It's like, whether you

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Speaker 2: have those conversations with your parents, they didn't believe.

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Speaker 3: You, Like you didn't feel comfortable having it at all.

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Speaker 3: You waited a long time to tell them. You know,

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Speaker 3: you feel like they put you in a position that

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Speaker 3: maybe was sketchy, and that's how you that happened. And

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Speaker 3: a lot of times it's from people in the family.

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Speaker 3: It's from friends of the family, it's from people who

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Speaker 3: were close. It's not some outside stranger in an alley.

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Speaker 3: A lot of times it's from people within the household.

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Speaker 3: So I just think these conversations in general just prevent

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Speaker 3: all the shit you don't want to happen, even up

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Speaker 3: to high school, when kids do it voluntarily and consensually,

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Speaker 3: like you have to have the conversation so that kids

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Speaker 3: are really like, do I.

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Speaker 4: Want to do this consensually or have I been.

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Speaker 3: Like persuaded or these talks I've had with my teenage

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Speaker 3: friends make me think that this is what I'm supposed

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Speaker 3: to do.

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Speaker 2: The statistic that you were talking about is one in

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Speaker 2: four girls and one in thirteen boys experienced child abuse

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Speaker 2: at some point in their childhood.

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Speaker 3: There are four no, there's three girls in here. I

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Speaker 3: experienced abuse in my childhood.

439
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:40,159
Speaker 2: I didn't experience abuse, but I definitely saw penis before

440
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 2: anyone ever talked to me about it. It was a

441
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,360
Speaker 2: show and tell. It was us exploring each other and

442
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 2: like I was probably like six and my cousin was

443
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:53,119
Speaker 2: probably ten, and he was like really really adamant about

444
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 2: me pulling down my pants and showing him at my vagina.

445
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 2: And I was like, I think I told the story,

446
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 2: like I was really nervous, and then like we finally did,

447
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 2: and then my housekeeper walked in and.

448
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 4: She was like oh, and I was like, oh my gosh.

449
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,640
Speaker 2: It was like so much shame happened, like everyone got

450
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 2: in trouble and I was like, oh my god, what

451
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 2: was that I saw? Also he saw mine?

452
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 4: Is it wrong?

453
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,160
Speaker 2: Like it was traumatic.

454
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 3: I also think that it's important for parents to understand

455
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 3: when shit like that happens because something similar happened. Never

456
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 3: talked about that shit again but with another girl with me.

457
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,360
Speaker 4: But I think that parents are so.

458
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 3: We as adults are so socialized by sexuality.

459
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,880
Speaker 4: Nudity is sex. Everything is sex.

460
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 3: There's so much sex and media that we assume that

461
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 3: curious children it's sex, and it's not always sex. You

462
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 3: guys realize, like these are just our bodies that we

463
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,160
Speaker 3: were born with, and of course we have sexual organs,

464
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,919
Speaker 3: and some of this shit feels good, But a lot

465
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 3: of times kids haven't.

466
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 4: Really discovered that part yet.

467
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,199
Speaker 3: They were really genuinely just curious about the parts of

468
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 3: other people they don't see. The other night, Luna was

469
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,440
Speaker 3: we were in the bed and she was like, I'm

470
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,920
Speaker 3: not I told the story already, but she was.

471
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 4: Like, Mama, I was like what.

472
00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:01,399
Speaker 3: She was like, what what are boy vaginas? What are

473
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 3: they called boy vaginas? And I said penises, babe, they're penises.

474
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 3: They don't have vaginas.

475
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, what.

476
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 3: A nighttime conversation. But it was just pure, you know,

477
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 3: like innocent and pure. She needed to know so she

478
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 3: won't be around here calling boy vagina's vaginas.

479
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 4: But yeah, start now.

480
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, start out, don't wait. And when we say get

481
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 2: everyone on board, I mean like baby, Daddy, I mean Auntie,

482
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 2: I mean Grandma, Like we don't need mixed messaging happening

483
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 2: going on over here. And honestly, like I know that

484
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 2: you might get resistance, like your tia or you know,

485
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 2: your mom are going to be like, no, we call

486
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 2: it chee cheese over here, peepe's over here. Well, then

487
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 2: there's no bath time over here. It just means that, like,

488
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 2: as a parent, you just have to have those boundaries

489
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,160
Speaker 2: with the people in your life, especially if they are

490
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,680
Speaker 2: going to be partaking in those intimate experiences with your kids.

491
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 3: And the conversation is uncomfortable in general, like with your child,

492
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 3: even though you're the adult, it's uncomfortable, but like it

493
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,400
Speaker 3: can even be uncomfortable to have that conversation like us

494
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 3: talking about this made me think I have to have

495
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 3: this conversation with my baby daddy's parents because she spends

496
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 3: a lot of time over there.

497
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 2: She literally like, I'm a text her right now. I

498
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 2: was like, maybe it should do this in person.

499
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 3: She's like, I didn't do it. I didn't I took

500
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,719
Speaker 3: your advice. I didn't think today right now.

501
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 2: It was like literally at this moment, I was randomly

502
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 2: on a Saturday at home, like you.

503
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 3: To know good morning, haven't answer your phone calls in

504
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,639
Speaker 3: a week, but want you to know something over here.

505
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 3: But you know it's true. He has very old school

506
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 3: parents when I grew up. That's one thing I can say.

507
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 3: My parents were like, you need to year nate, you

508
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 3: need to defecate your vagina, Like we used the words

509
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 3: that we're supposed to use. Not that I heard the

510
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 3: word penis in my house a lot but we didn't

511
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 3: use any alternative words.

512
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 2: But we did not We used all types of weird words.

513
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 2: I avoided the conversations.

514
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 3: No, we had regular words, but I feel like his

515
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 3: parents probably don't, and I feel like that's going to

516
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 3: be an uncomfortable conversation when I call her after this

517
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 3: recording at three o'clock at my motherfucking afternoon on Saturday

518
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 3: and say, hey, I just wanted to run this by you.

519
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 3: I was thinking and I want to make sure that

520
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 3: I know you know Lunda's getting older, and I want

521
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 3: to make sure that you guys are using the appropriate

522
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,199
Speaker 3: terms for her body parts because I don't want it

523
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 3: to be any confusion. This is what I do in

524
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 3: my household. This is why it's important, because if someone's

525
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,479
Speaker 3: touching her inappropriately, I want her to be able to

526
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 3: discuss it with me and if it You know, a

527
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 3: lot of times people don't realize if you teach your

528
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 3: kid the wrong word for shit and something happens, you

529
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 3: have to go to court for that, and they can't

530
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 3: identify there if they're saying so and so touch my.

531
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 2: Or they have so much shame that they can't they

532
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:38,920
Speaker 2: won't even say anything.

533
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 3: Like because they're scared because they haven't even talked about

534
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 3: this shit regularly outside of.

535
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 4: Abuse or harm.

536
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 3: Like that's when this shit comes up, and that's why

537
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: it's important. So like even that was me practicing for haha,

538
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 3: am I gonna call her? Hello?

539
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 4: Hey, how are you just wanted to touch bases about bathtime?

540
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 3: You know, Like, it's not that it may not be received, well,

541
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 3: it may not be comfortable, but I much rather have

542
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 3: this uncomfortable conversation with her and whomever before something bad happens.

543
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 3: And not to say that something bad will happen, but

544
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 3: like those statistics are not well and.

545
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: Honestly, having these uncomfortable conversations are great practice for so

546
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,439
Speaker 2: many other areas in your life and your relationships. Like

547
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 2: it's just a great practice in general. I think that

548
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 2: we just have to stop avoiding conversations and assuming things

549
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 2: are just going to get handled and done. They are not.

550
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 4: I think that's the theme for October.

551
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 3: Uncomfortable conversations October, because you need to lean into the discomfort.

552
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 3: Everything's not daisies and fucking sunshine, And in fact, the

553
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 3: things that make you feel uncomfortable give you anxiety are

554
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 3: probably the things that we need to practice doing more often.

555
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I think that covers number one.

556
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,159
Speaker 3: So you know, I have a little boo in New

557
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 3: York and sometimes it's hard to keep it spicy. But

558
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 3: I got this new toy from Satisfire and it's called

559
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 3: the Curvy two, and he can control it on this

560
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 3: amazing app called the Satisfier Connect. If he gets on

561
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 3: my nerves and we break up, I can block him

562
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 3: and his information is never to be seen again, and

563
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 3: it blows and vibrates.

564
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 4: I love the Curvy.

565
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 2: Too, girl. Satisfy as new line of products is Bluetooth

566
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 2: enabled to connect with your award winning app, the Satisfier

567
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,679
Speaker 2: Connect app. It works with Android, Apple and iWatch.

568
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,120
Speaker 3: You can even fuck to your man's voice. He left

569
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 3: me a sexy recording and I synced it to my

570
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:35,400
Speaker 3: vibrator and it created a vibration, especially to his voice.

571
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 2: Your partner can control your pleasure. I can control my

572
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 2: own pleasure on the app. I even heard that you

573
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 2: can fuck to the music.

574
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 3: And right now, the Satisfier is offering our lucky listeners

575
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,800
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576
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,879
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577
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,200
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578
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,879
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579
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,840
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580
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,560
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581
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:15,360
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582
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 2: at your own.

583
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 4: Have you taken a mirror to your vagina lately? I haven't.

584
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 2: I need to look ask your husband. I need you

585
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 2: to ask your husband if he's looked at his scrotum lately.

586
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 4: You know what it is. I think mail parts are

587
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 4: more easy to examine.

588
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, but still you kind of do you can get

589
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: it under there. Go look at that little thing in

590
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 2: between the balls and the butthole. The Yeah, go look

591
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 2: at that thing.

592
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 4: It's an interesting like that line that like that line

593
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 4: that goes down the middle.

594
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm always really intrigued by that line that goes

595
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 3: down the middle of the balls to the like the

596
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 3: scroll let me stop the scrotum to the butthole, because

597
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: it's like who made that line? God?

598
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: I know, God made that line. It's it's an imitation.

599
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 3: You know. That line is where our vagina is split.

600
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 3: You know, Like I actually took a human sexuality class

601
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:02,879
Speaker 3: in high school because I was go get her. I

602
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,159
Speaker 3: don't know what's happy sexologist and training I was apparently

603
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 3: I knew my future was going to be in sex,

604
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,400
Speaker 3: but I did. It was a fucking three hour course too,

605
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 3: and I had it really, you know what, Wow, it's true.

606
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 4: I didn't even know.

607
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 3: I mean, I knew I was a little hoe, but

608
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 3: I didn't know I was obsessed with sex on that

609
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 3: to that extent that I went after high school and

610
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 3: I took a night class at Valley College that literally

611
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 3: was two hours and forty five minutes.

612
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 4: Wow. And that was the first time.

613
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 3: That I understood that we do start with the same

614
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 3: things and then literally our outer labia drops down into

615
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 3: testicles and our clatoris extends into the head of the penis,

616
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 3: which is why our clatorius is sensitive and gets uh

617
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 3: like gorged or yeah, and like erected almost And so

618
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 3: does a man. So shout out to me taking that

619
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 3: fucking human sexuality class for no goddamn reason except this one.

620
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 2: That's a reason.

621
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think you your man.

622
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 3: She'd pull out the mirrors tonight before you start giving

623
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 3: advice to your kids.

624
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, because I mean, this isn't just for

625
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 2: we have boys we have girls, like, and you know,

626
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 2: I was reading that most you know, most women, and

627
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 2: I didn't even have to read to even assume this,

628
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 2: but that most women and mothers are the ones having

629
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 2: these conversations with their kids when I feel like I

630
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 2: would love to, I would love for a man to

631
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 2: kind of take on this conversation. I think for both,

632
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 2: whether you have a girl or a boy, you know,

633
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,920
Speaker 2: And I think like when I was reading this article

634
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 2: about it, they were saying that met are a lot

635
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 2: more direct, which kids appreciate more, whereas like sometimes moms

636
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,919
Speaker 2: get really nervous and they like kind of like scatter

637
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 2: around the issue and stuff. But I think it's important

638
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 2: that both parents are on board and that you both

639
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 2: feel comfortable talking about it and you both practice this

640
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 2: if you're married, don't this isn't just your burden, This

641
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 2: isn't your just your cross to bear, honey, Like, get

642
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 2: daddy on board.

643
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 4: I firmly believe in this.

644
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 3: I remember I went on a camping trip with a

645
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 3: friend in like elementary school, and we stayed in RV

646
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 3: and only her dad went and we have been like

647
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 3: to the beach and stuff, and I remember her vagina

648
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 3: was hurting and she told her dad, and her dad

649
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 3: told her to come in the RV. He put me

650
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 3: and her brother out, and he looked at her vagina,

651
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 3: and in my head, I was like, wow.

652
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 4: That's weird.

653
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 3: But like looking back, I'm like, that's a good fucking parent.

654
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 3: And I just think I feel really bad for men

655
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 3: in this space because I feel like, first of all,

656
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 3: boys and girls get abused, and second of all, men

657
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 3: and women and boys and.

658
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,239
Speaker 4: Girls are abusers. It's there's we're human, this is how

659
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 4: it works.

660
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 3: But I think men get shy away from this so

661
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 3: much because they're given this title, this abuser title. It's

662
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 3: just so crazy, like if you're not an abuser, then

663
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 3: you don't have shit to worry about.

664
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 4: Like, these are your kids. You have to get involved.

665
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 4: These are things we have to talk about.

666
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 3: So I do really like I hope and wish like

667
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 3: dad's out there listening.

668
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 4: Even stepdads, you know.

669
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 3: I think these are conversations with men that you trust,

670
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 3: that are around your children, that we should all be

671
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 3: having in your household because we're all in the household.

672
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 2: And it is a practice of feeling safe around men.

673
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 4: Yes, like I'm choosing a man.

674
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 3: I feel safe with this is your dad, this is

675
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 3: my husband, this is my man, whatever, and like showing

676
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 3: your child what that looks like to feel safe around

677
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: a man and men.

678
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 4: If you're not a weird ass guy, you shouldn't feel

679
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 4: shame shamed.

680
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 3: I met a guy who was like, yeah, when my

681
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 3: daughter has sleepovers, his daughter is a baby.

682
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 4: You know.

683
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 3: This stuck with me. She told me this, like last year,

684
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 3: I'm gonna leave the house. Why are you leaving your

685
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 3: house for the sleepover?

686
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 4: Cause I just don't like, no, no, no, no.

687
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 3: What are you teaching your child that you can't be

688
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 3: in the motherfucking house when her friends are over, that

689
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 3: you're not to be trusted.

690
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 4: It's just really sad that that's.

691
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 3: The you know, like the norm for men, you know,

692
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 3: like they don't pick up children or whatever, like nig

693
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 3: it is unless you're doing some weird shit.

694
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 4: I don't feel that way.

695
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think, like I said, I think

696
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 2: that both both parents have responsibility to practice this. Both

697
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 2: parents should take that mirror and go look at your

698
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 2: own so that when you are explaining to your kids,

699
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,239
Speaker 2: you know the difference between evolva and a vagina, You

700
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 2: actually know what the fuck you're talking about like, don't

701
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 2: just listen to this episode and just not and just

702
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: take the things that we say, like, no, you should

703
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 2: go look at your shit. I mean, and I know

704
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 2: a lot of women, a lot of women that are listening,

705
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 2: you know, are more empowered and to do that. But

706
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 2: if you aren't, like, it's totally normal, it's totally fine,

707
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 2: go do it. You should know what it looks like.

708
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: Your child should know what it looks like. It's not

709
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 2: this scary thing. Don't wait for your child's first experience

710
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 2: in sex to be with a man being the first

711
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 2: person to see their vagina, Like they won't even know

712
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 2: what their own thing looks like. It's really important. I

713
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: think that we know what our body parts look like,

714
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 2: not just our knee and our toes because they're easily accessible.

715
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 4: Well that's the thing. I think.

716
00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 3: It's kind of like a not like a metaphor for life, right,

717
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 3: but like if our vessel, if there's parts of our

718
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 3: vessel we haven't explored right here on our body, how

719
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 3: much of ourselves have we not explored? How afraid of

720
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 3: you of certain aspects of yourself? If you haven't even

721
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 3: like the dark parts of you, the things that make

722
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 3: you scared, the traumas you've been caught, like all these

723
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 3: things that you've if you are afraid to literally look

724
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 3: at the shit that's right in front of you that

725
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 3: brings you pleasure or not or whatever, like, those are

726
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 3: things you need to shed light on and lean into

727
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 3: because that shit is important.

728
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: And do your research so that when your kids, because

729
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 2: kid's gonna have some questions, let me tell you, because

730
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:16,239
Speaker 2: they know THEE and they need to know when they

731
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 2: ask you, mommy, what is this? Mommy?

732
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 4: What is that?

733
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 2: So you have actual answers for them. So when you

734
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: go look at your vulva and you you know, explore,

735
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 2: know what your clitterist is, know like the different parts

736
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 2: of your of your anatomy, so that you can explain

737
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 2: it in an educated way and it's not scary and

738
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 2: not shameful. That's rule number one is like, let's take

739
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 2: the shame out of all of this, because your kids

740
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 2: know when you are feeling ashamed. They can tell your body,

741
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 2: they can see it in your body language. You should

742
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 2: probably practice this conversation with a friend or with your

743
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: husband before you do it, just so that you know,

744
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: like when you go into this conversation with your kids,

745
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 2: that they're not like, why is mommy acting so fucking

746
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 2: weird right now?

747
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 3: Right okay, Like they're trying they're not to end the

748
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: conversation before you do. You know. That's another thing that

749
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 3: made me think about when we talk about the dads.

750
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 3: My baby daddy asked me, but like probably when Luna

751
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 3: was like a newborn, when do you think I'll have

752
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 3: to stop taking baths with her, like showers. I'm like,

753
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 3: I don't know when you stop feeling uncomfortable about it,

754
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 3: but like it's not anything I ever thought about when

755
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 3: like when she's at his house without me, like I'm

756
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 3: sure she seen him naked. Maybe not recently, but like

757
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 3: I'm sure in passing it's happened. And like even in

758
00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 3: my house it wasn't like super weird. We're not like

759
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 3: we weren't like European. He wasn't like walking around with

760
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,719
Speaker 3: this dick out. But it was like even now, if

761
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 3: my dad comes to my house and like I'm maybe

762
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 3: half naked, like I'll answer the door. I don't feel

763
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 3: that uncomfortable around my like my dad naked.

764
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 4: I don't definitely want to see my dad naked.

765
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 2: Now, are you topless? Ring your dad?

766
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 3: No? But like if I'm in the shower and I

767
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 3: need him to hand me a towel, you can you

768
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 3: know what I mean? Like, if it's not I'm not

769
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 3: trying to be naked around my dad. But also if

770
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 3: it does not, the end of the world, Like I'll

771
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 3: answer the door in my panties or something like that.

772
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,719
Speaker 3: But like, I just I think that kind of that

773
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 3: weirdness kind of starts there. It's obviously for everybody's personal

774
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 3: comfort level, but like I think that's you know, where

775
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:08,760
Speaker 3: it starts to get weird.

776
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:10,439
Speaker 4: What's number three?

777
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 2: Number three is use bath time as the perfect time

778
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 2: to show and tell.

779
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 4: That's an easy one.

780
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 3: But again, like what you said about how you feel

781
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 3: about the conversation, the energy you're putting into the conversation,

782
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 3: it's super important that you not make everything super scary

783
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 3: and daunting. My mother, I will never forget, had this

784
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,759
Speaker 3: conversation with me. I had to be three. I was

785
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 3: in the bathtub of my great grandmother's house in Philadelphia,

786
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 3: and she was like, if anyone ever touches you right there,

787
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 3: you tell me immediately.

788
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 4: I was like, the fuck is wrong with you? Crazy?

789
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 4: It was so intense.

790
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 2: I actually also had a traumatizing bath experience with my mom,

791
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 2: Like I remember specifically, like I think I had a

792
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 2: rash or something, and she was like, who touched you?

793
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 2: Was it floor? Like she cues like like my other

794
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 2: basically mom that I love so much, Like she like

795
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 2: she was wanting to like make me feel comfortable sharing

796
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 2: that it was her, and I was like, no, it wasn't,

797
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 2: and like she kept prodding at me and I was

798
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 2: like no, and I was and then she was like, oh,

799
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 2: it must be like the shit, like the perfume I remember, like,

800
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 2: must be the fragrance in the wash. And I was like, okay, yeah,

801
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 2: I was like traumatized. After that, I was like, oh

802
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 2: my god, I'm going to get floor in trouble.

803
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 3: But I do remember not long after that, and this

804
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 3: memorily came back, like in high school, that she had

805
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 3: that conversation. I was really scared, like what the fuck

806
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 3: is wrong with you? But I do remember a little

807
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 3: boy touched me on my vagina, and because of that

808
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 3: scary conversation, I was mortified to mention it, but then

809
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 3: I did, and then I remember shit blowing up.

810
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 4: I don't know what the fuck happened. I remember them calling.

811
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 3: They called my grandmother to call the little boy that

812
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 3: I don't know what the fuck happened, and I honestly

813
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:57,800
Speaker 3: it must have been so traumatizing that I did not

814
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 3: forget until like twenty years late, like fifteen years later.

815
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 3: I was in high school and we were like driving

816
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 3: by that house and it all flooded back to me,

817
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,919
Speaker 3: which is also very scary because kids can suppress. Also,

818
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 3: I think what's important about bath time is you. You're

819
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 3: the number one example. You know, Like Luna will be

820
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 3: in my shit and at first I'm like, but I'm like,

821
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 3: she came out this shit, what do you need to know?

822
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 3: You know?

823
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 4: She's like, am I gonna have hair when I get older?

824
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 3: I don't want it. I'm like, girl, you're gonna get it, okay.

825
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 3: I like to pick like black like ingirls.

826
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 4: She's like, let me try. What are you doing?

827
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 3: She's just all up in my shit, you know, And

828
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 3: at first it kind of made me uncomfortable, but then

829
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 3: I'm like, girl, whatever questions you got?

830
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 4: Now was the time?

831
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean, I use bath time as I've used it,

832
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 2: because first of all, this is not a one and

833
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 2: done conversation. It's an ongoing conversation. You know, making sure

834
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 2: that my daughter knows how to clean herself properly is

835
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 2: an ongoing conversation. I'm always making sure that she's cleaning

836
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 2: herself properly, which is always an opportunity for me to

837
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 2: talk to her about it, because there's been time or

838
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 2: she's like, I'm itchy, I'm itchy, and we have to

839
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 2: go back in the shower and we have to clean

840
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 2: and we have to and I've had to literally and

841
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 2: that was the perfect time for me to bring a

842
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 2: mirror and show her like, look, this is what's happening.

843
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 2: This is what happens when you don't clean yourself well.

844
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 2: You see this, this is what's not supposed to be

845
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 2: in here. This is and like, honestly, when someone she

846
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 2: goes to her dad's house, I do get stressed out

847
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 2: because unfortunately we don't necessarily have We're not on the

848
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 2: same page about a lot of things, so I have

849
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 2: to like make sure, like I literally like, so, baby,

850
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 2: but when you go there, make sure you're cleaning your

851
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 2: vagina really really well. And I will call her and

852
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 2: ask her, like, when you took a shower today, did

853
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,760
Speaker 2: you clean your vagina well? And she's like, yes, Mom,

854
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: but I think the shower is just a great opportunity

855
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 2: because you're both naked. I mean, obviously, if you have

856
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 2: older kids, maybe you're not showering with them anymore. So

857
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 2: bathtime is kind of out and you have to kind

858
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 2: of figure out something else another opportunity to kind of

859
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 2: have these conversations. I mean, it's just gonna have to

860
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: be a little bit more direct.

861
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 4: I think at that point, but it has to happen.

862
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 3: But I've also kind of like made it so casual

863
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 3: so that I'm not doing the thing my mom did

864
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 3: to me were she's acting crazy and I'm just like,

865
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,359
Speaker 3: hey girl, I'll have a school. Would you guys learn today?

866
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 3: Is anyone touch your vagina lately? No? Mom? Okay, the

867
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 3: other day I said it and she's like, Mom, nobody

868
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 3: wants to touch my vagina.

869
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 4: Why do you keep asking me that? I was like,

870
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,919
Speaker 4: I don't know. I mean, I know, but some people

871
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 4: are weird. I just gotta ask.

872
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 3: I just thought, okay, well fine, you know, I just

873
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 3: throw that in there once a week, every couple of weeks,

874
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:24,479
Speaker 3: just so like, did.

875
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 4: You brush your teeth?

876
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 2: Okay?

877
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 4: Anyone touched your vagina? Oh?

878
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 2: Cool?

879
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 4: All right?

880
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 3: I just like the most casual, you know, conversations about

881
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 3: body parts.

882
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 2: I mean even like for me the other day, Flora

883
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 2: told me that her dog, her puppy, that's this puppy

884
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 2: that she got Iri. That's thank god it's really her

885
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 2: dog because it's at her house. But she started her

886
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 2: period and she's like you know, she was like whispering

887
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 2: about it to me, Like.

888
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 1: I mea sung.

889
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 2: I was like, what do you start a period? I

890
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 2: was like, okay. She's like, I don't want to tell Iri.

891
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 2: I'm scared to tell her. I was like, why are

892
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 2: you scared to tell her? So she doesn't know anything

893
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 2: about that. I was like, yes she does. She's no,

894
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: what a period is?

895
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:01,320
Speaker 4: I believe.

896
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:02,400
Speaker 2: She's like, oh she does.

897
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:03,240
Speaker 4: I was like yes.

898
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 2: I'm like my daughter literally is basically like her. You

899
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 2: could I could just see her little head next to

900
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 2: the toilet and when I'm by, when I'm on the toilet,

901
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,800
Speaker 2: like she won't leave me the fuck alone. There's no space,

902
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: So there's no space. And so yes, she has seen

903
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 2: me change my tampon and she has asked me what

904
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 2: is that inlet? And I have had to.

905
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 3: Tell her wait one time we one time we're in

906
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 3: the house and she was like asking me to go

907
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 3: on a walk. I was like, I don't feel like

908
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 3: walking right now. I don't feel good. She's like, use

909
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 3: those things in the bathroom. I'm like, what are you

910
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 3: talking about. Use those things you use in the bathroom,

911
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 3: they're gonna help you run. I'm like, what are you

912
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 3: talking about? This girl goes and gets my box of

913
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 3: tampons because the girl on there is like running. She

914
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,479
Speaker 3: thinks it's a running aid.

915
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 2: I don't know what she is.

916
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 4: I'm like, girl, that is for my period. That is

917
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 4: not to help you run.

918
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,359
Speaker 2: Maybean, It does help you. It does make you feel

919
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 2: more comfid. It makes me feel although I'm done with tampons,

920
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 2: I've been converted to uh, period panties. Because I never

921
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 2: thought i'd say this, because I am. I do not

922
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 2: like pads. I am not like a hippie free bleeder.

923
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 4: Well that's a free bleeding.

924
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 2: Well now i am because but because these panties that

925
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 2: I got, like, they really you don't They're dry, Like

926
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,839
Speaker 2: no matter how heavy my flow is. I literally put

927
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 2: like a napkin and like wiped the crotch area and

928
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: there was no blood. I was like, how the fuck

929
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: is there no blood and I'm like, I'm not asking questions.

930
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 2: I'm just wearing these. I don't care.

931
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 3: Before I even knew the term free bleeding, I've been

932
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 3: free I like, I prefer to free bleed. I don't

933
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 3: love tampa I use them. I'd never use fucking pads,

934
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 3: but I've been trying to find out.

935
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 4: But what do you do with your freeblely?

936
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 2: You just bleed all over your house. When I hear

937
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: free bleed, I hear I think of like women just

938
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,280
Speaker 2: like walking around their home, like like, I mean.

939
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 3: It's how like a dog is, just like it's it's

940
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 3: definitely I don't have a really heavy period, which I'm

941
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 3: wondering does that mean I don't have any eggs left?

942
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 4: Can someone? Can someone write in?

943
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 2: At soccer practice the other day, this woman was telling

944
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 2: Jamila I was I was like half listening because I

945
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,239
Speaker 2: was on the phone, but she was like, yeah, you

946
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 2: know when your period starts to get light, get lighter,

947
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 2: that means you're you're becoming infertile. And Gimil was like, no, no, no,

948
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 2: I don't think that's true. And she's like, no, it's true,

949
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 2: and Jimila's like no, and I was like, I'm staying

950
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:10,359
Speaker 2: out of this conversation.

951
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 4: You know, I'm fucking fertile model, but now I'm concerned.

952
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 2: Don't be please don't test the limits.

953
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 3: I'm not testing the limits, but I bo like walk

954
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 3: around or I have this theory that if I'm laying horizontally,

955
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,839
Speaker 3: I just won't drip. That doesn't always work. That's why

956
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 3: I'm also happy to have period panties. But I tell

957
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 3: We had a conversation with another parent, a dad, and

958
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:34,239
Speaker 3: he was like, I don't know what the fuck are

959
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 3: you talking about.

960
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 4: He talks a lot, but he's like, yeah, you know

961
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 4: my son.

962
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: It was all whispering, was asking about you know.

963
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 4: I was like what.

964
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 3: I was like, No, I don't know what the fuck

965
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 3: are you talking about. I was like the period and

966
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 3: I was and I was like, can you stop making this?

967
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 4: He was he was doing these like what the fuck

968
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 4: is that?

969
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 3: First of all, you guys, we don't die when we

970
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 3: get a period, you know, like we're still human, We're still.

971
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 4: Talking and shiit like. I was like, what the fuck

972
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 4: does that mean?

973
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 3: I was just like, you just tell him the fuck

974
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,800
Speaker 3: I this is my boys don't know shit. This is

975
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,879
Speaker 3: why men don't know shit about vaginas. Or women, because

976
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 3: I think, like, you're supposed to go into a room

977
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 3: and cry when you're in your period, so crazy. I

978
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 3: remember my mom. I don't know if I told this story,

979
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 3: but I was little. I was like six, and she

980
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 3: was in the bathroom. She got out the shower and

981
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 3: I was in there and I was like, Mom, you

982
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 3: have a string.

983
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 4: I kept trying to pull the string. She's like, get out.

984
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,799
Speaker 3: I was like, Mom, you have a string. I'm trying

985
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 3: to grab the She's like, if you get out of

986
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:31,880
Speaker 3: the bathroom.

987
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:35,280
Speaker 4: I was like, but mom, I'm trying to help you.

988
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 4: You have a string.

989
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:38,360
Speaker 3: And she pushed me out of the bathroom and I

990
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:43,240
Speaker 3: was just like, you know what, fuck her, it's fucking whatever.

991
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:43,840
Speaker 4: You know.

992
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 3: Four hundred years later, I'm like, oh my god, it

993
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:47,240
Speaker 3: wasn't the fucking string.

994
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 4: It was a tampon. Why did no one tell me this?

995
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, they didn't, And you know, I don't know. I

996
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,800
Speaker 2: think that I think that normalizing periods is really important

997
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 2: for girls. I think boys should know too, but I

998
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 2: think it's even more important for Actually, I'm actually boys

999
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,919
Speaker 2: need to know too, because I'm so over men saying

1000
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 2: they don't have sex on period and they are making

1001
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 2: weird things about periods and just big like anytime about it.

1002
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, I'm like, okay, you better be glad

1003
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,360
Speaker 2: I fucking got a period because you're you're safe now, nigget,

1004
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 2: we're not pregnant.

1005
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:18,800
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I don't want to hear your weirdness about periods. Honestly,

1006
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 3: I mean, every woman doesn't feel comfortable having sex on

1007
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 3: their period. I'm not one of those women. If you

1008
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 3: don't have sex with me on my period, you know

1009
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 3: how many weeks in life I'm losing on sex, like

1010
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 3: probably like two years. I don't know how many. I

1011
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 3: don't know a week times eighty, I don't know.

1012
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 4: I don't fucking know the math on that, but it's

1013
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:35,800
Speaker 4: a lot of years.

1014
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 3: And I refuse to kept my sex life short because

1015
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 3: you're weird weird with period blood. I'm dating a guy

1016
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,439
Speaker 3: who's all about the sex on the period and even

1017
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 3: eating my pussy on the period, and I'm like, perfect,

1018
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 3: I'm never going back. It's gonna be in my intake form.

1019
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 3: It was.

1020
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1021
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 2: I mean my ex last year, he was really, he

1022
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 2: was really He actually made me feel reallycomfortable and even

1023
00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 2: more comfortable about it, and I was like okay, wow,

1024
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 2: and now yeah, it's hard to go back from.

1025
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 4: That anyway, that that veered off.

1026
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 2: Okay, anyway back to the kids.

1027
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 4: Anyway, back to the children.

1028
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 2: Okay. Number four. Number four on the list is boundaries

1029
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 2: and time and place. So boundaries is really important too

1030
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 2: when you're discussing, for example, Jamila telling her daughter and

1031
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 2: asking like, you know, I've done this too, is saying

1032
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 2: they won touch your vagina today, like just talking about

1033
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 2: it casually. Also following up with the boundaries, the boundaries

1034
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 2: and discussing, you know, when it is appropriate to touch yourself,

1035
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 2: because let's be honest, if you have kids that are

1036
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 2: between the ages of I don't know, two and six,

1037
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,319
Speaker 2: they're exploring themselves, they are touching themselves, they're spreading those

1038
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 2: legs open, and you know, it's it becomes uncomfortable as

1039
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 2: a parent. I've definitely experienced it where I'm like whoa, whoa,

1040
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 2: what's happening, and where my mom has come in and

1041
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 2: try to do that you know, shaming thing because she,

1042
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,800
Speaker 2: you know, hasn't got totally gotten on board either, which

1043
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: you know this is I'm actually we're doing that. I'm

1044
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 2: doing this episode two as a conversation to myself because

1045
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 2: I need to have these conversations with my parents, especially

1046
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,240
Speaker 2: my mom. And we've had it briefly, but I've noticed

1047
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 2: that there's things that still come up from like just

1048
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 2: the way that she was brought up. It's really not

1049
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 2: a slight to her at all. It's just how she

1050
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 2: was brought up, and you know, what she thinks is

1051
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:25,399
Speaker 2: right and wrong. But I think telling your kids and expressing,

1052
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 2: you know, boundaries as far as when is the appropriate

1053
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 2: time to touch yourself, who is allowed to be touching you,

1054
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 2: you know, establishing those people early on too, like grandma walk,

1055
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 2: Grandma can give you bath time, whatever, nanny can give

1056
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 2: you bath time, I can tea. Everyone else is a no.

1057
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: I think those boundaries are really really important for kids

1058
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 2: because they don't know boundaries. Kids don't really have boundaries.

1059
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 3: It's just kind of like and then when they do

1060
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 3: respect them, yeah, it was like, can't close the door, okay.

1061
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,279
Speaker 2: I mean even with me. I have to respect my

1062
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 2: daughter's boundaries too, because she feels uncomfortab like today at

1063
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 2: the soccer game, we need to take her jersey off

1064
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 2: and put a judo shirt on, and she's like covering

1065
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 2: her little nipples that are like non existent, and she

1066
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 2: was getting all like nervous and like feeling weird. And

1067
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 2: I was like, babe, there's no one, no one's looking

1068
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 2: at you. And she was like, I don't care, like

1069
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 2: I want to be covered. And I was like, you

1070
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 2: know what, I'm going to respect that boundary. That is

1071
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 2: a boundary that you that you need and you want.

1072
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 2: I don't for me. I'm like, girl, just but I

1073
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 2: have to respect that boundary.

1074
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 3: I had a that's just reminding me that's so crazy.

1075
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 3: I had this memory that just came back. I was

1076
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 3: at a pool party with my dad and like, I

1077
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 3: think my bikini like slipped out of the string and

1078
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 3: I was just sitting there for a long time, uncomfortable,

1079
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 3: and nobody helped me. And I was like dad or whatever,

1080
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,280
Speaker 3: and they were just like, bitch, you don't have anything.

1081
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 3: But I was mortified and nobody would do anything. And

1082
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 3: I was like, does everyone see me sitting here? Nobody

1083
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 3: cared except me.

1084
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they think, oh, well, it's just nothing to show,

1085
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 2: so there's nothing to be ashamed about. And it's not

1086
00:46:57,280 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 2: even necessarily shame. It's just your own personal boundaries. And

1087
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: we have to respect our kids' personal boundaries. I know

1088
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 2: I have to because I'm a lot more. I think

1089
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 2: I'm a freer, more open person than my daughter is.

1090
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,360
Speaker 2: Even after empowering her, even after doing all those things,

1091
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 2: this is just who she is innately within herself, and

1092
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 2: I have to respect that. And so even today at

1093
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 2: the soccer game, I was like, Okay, let's cover you up,

1094
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,800
Speaker 2: like let them let me help you feel safe and protected,

1095
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 2: even though girl, ain't nobody looking at you. So I

1096
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 2: think boundaries is something that is really important. And talking

1097
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 2: to your kids about boundaries and asking them like what

1098
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 2: they feel comfortable with and what they feel uncomfortable with

1099
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 2: is important too, and just.

1100
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 3: Making them feel safe, Like if you are touching, I'm like,

1101
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:40,280
Speaker 3: why are you touching yourself?

1102
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:40,919
Speaker 4: Does it feel good?

1103
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 3: Like?

1104
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh cool?

1105
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, same, I know it does feel good, you know,

1106
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 3: Like let's be honest, like shit feels good when it's aroused,

1107
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 3: you know, Like that's a part of the human fucking anatomy.

1108
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 3: And I think sometimes we lean so far away from that,

1109
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 3: especially from little girls, that women, as women, we.

1110
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 4: Forget to prioritize pleasure.

1111
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 3: We don't know how it's never been talked to us

1112
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 3: about and so it's just like someone told us a

1113
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 3: story about a little girl who was touching herself with

1114
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 3: the door open, and she told her mom was like, hey,

1115
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 3: can you just close the door when you're whatever you're

1116
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 3: having time with yourself. She said, Okay, went in the room,

1117
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 3: closed the door. Later she was in there sleep. Okay,

1118
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 3: she handle her business. Shok a nap. I feel you, girl,

1119
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 3: You gotta handle your business and take a nap. Just

1120
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 3: close the door when you do it. You know, it's

1121
00:48:29,160 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 3: like to be done alone, not to be done with

1122
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 3: anyone else. No one else is to touch you, especially

1123
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 3: like friends, especially like I think that's my biggest fear

1124
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 3: for me is like the same age shit, because I

1125
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 3: was touched by a cousin who's the same age as me,

1126
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 3: and I didn't consider that were a little bit older

1127
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 3: than me. But I didn't consider that as abuse until

1128
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 3: like recently, Like okay, that exposed me too early to

1129
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:57,880
Speaker 3: things that I wasn't prepared for. And she was exposed

1130
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 3: early because she was abused. And so some those are signs,

1131
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 3: but sometimes they're just exploring their bodies. And that's why

1132
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:08,359
Speaker 3: it's really important to have regular comfortable conversations because then

1133
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 3: you're not assuming and jumping. When that happens, you know

1134
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,840
Speaker 3: that they're just bringing themselves pleasure. They've discovered self pleasure

1135
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 3: and that's okay, versus someone's introducing that to them. So

1136
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 3: it's just like being able to have even those simple conversations.

1137
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 2: And I think that goes into our fifth one, which

1138
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 2: is I mean, I think four and five are just

1139
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,760
Speaker 2: kind of reiterating the same thing because they're really important.

1140
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: When you're talking about you know, body parts with your kids,

1141
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 2: and that's good touch bad touch, And I think that's

1142
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:38,320
Speaker 2: establishing with your kids what is good, who is safe,

1143
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 2: and who is not, and when things are appropriate and

1144
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 2: when things are not appropriate. But again not doing the

1145
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 2: thing like Jamila's mom did where she like scared the

1146
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:53,320
Speaker 2: living shit out of her and having just gentle conversations

1147
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 2: and ongoing conversations. These aren't one time conversations. These are

1148
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 2: things that we are going to be doing over and

1149
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 2: over and over until they feel normal for all of us.

1150
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 2: You include it and.

1151
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:08,440
Speaker 3: Not sexualizing your child's curiosity. You know, sometimes kids are

1152
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 3: just curious. And my niece try to go in the

1153
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 3: bathroom with my uncle and she literally said, I want

1154
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 3: to see it. Fucking a little weirdo, but like she

1155
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 3: probably did just want to see it, Like why are

1156
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 3: you standing up? I don't stand up when ipe? These

1157
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 3: are basic regular questions that we have differences, you know

1158
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, Like we're developing. You notice as a kid,

1159
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 3: like damn we in the house, we're naked, but and

1160
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 3: we're covered certain times?

1161
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,479
Speaker 4: Like why are these parts always covered? What does that mean?

1162
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 3: You know?

1163
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 4: And then it doesn't help that everything.

1164
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 3: In the media, even Disney shit, everything has underlying sex

1165
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 3: in it. Everything has underlying sex in it because we're

1166
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:51,359
Speaker 3: human and our human nature is to fucking procreate, So

1167
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 3: there just has to be these basic conversations that happen.

1168
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 3: And like I think sometimes people think if you're having

1169
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 3: these conversations with your kids, you're encouraging them to indulge

1170
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 3: in like sex or but no, like, we're just having

1171
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 3: regular conversations. And most importantly, what I think is the

1172
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 3: most important about these conversations is trusting, teaching them to

1173
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 3: trust their intuition, and teaching the trust what makes them

1174
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 3: feel comfortable. Luna knows she could sleep naked or she cannot,

1175
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 3: you know, but she asked me every night, can I

1176
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 3: sleep naked tonight.

1177
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 4: Sure, girl, you know what I mean, But like.

1178
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 3: I want her like to gauge who she feels comfortable with,

1179
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 3: who she you know what I mean. I just feel

1180
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:28,399
Speaker 3: like we have to give her empower them to know

1181
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,399
Speaker 3: what's right and what's wrong in their bodies. I think

1182
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 3: that's the biggest lesson. It's not like everyone's gonna hurt you.

1183
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 3: Every like, don't do this, even to the point like

1184
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 3: we were watching a movie The Craft, and I remember,

1185
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 3: like my parents always covering my fucking eyes, and I'm like,

1186
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 3: I know something's going on now. I really want to

1187
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 3: see what it is. But like this guy was coming

1188
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 3: on to this girl and she was like no, and

1189
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 3: she started running. It was kind of rape and Lena

1190
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,799
Speaker 3: was like, what why did he do? He did that

1191
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:56,839
Speaker 3: because she did not want him to touch her, so

1192
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 3: she said get out of here. And I was like, yep,

1193
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 3: like letting her know, like I was gonna tell And

1194
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,479
Speaker 3: I told her everybody's not cool. You know. You could

1195
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,360
Speaker 3: think someone's cool, you could think someone's your friend, and

1196
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 3: sometimes they're not cool.

1197
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 4: And you gotta be able to tell people no, don't

1198
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:10,359
Speaker 4: touch me that.

1199
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 2: And knowing that like an adult should never ever ever

1200
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 2: tell you to keep a secret, cause I think that's

1201
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 2: like one of the biggest you know, signs of abuse

1202
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 2: is like that's how abusers what they do is that

1203
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 2: like this is our little secret, this is our secret, and.

1204
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 3: Like or you're gonna get in trouble if you tell

1205
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 3: M M just knowing and creating that.

1206
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 2: And these are why these conversations are so important, because

1207
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 2: your child will know they were not going to get

1208
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 2: in trouble because actually, me and my mom talked about

1209
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 2: this shit all the time. I know I'm not gonna

1210
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 2: get in trouble, nigga or bitch, you know, and feeling.

1211
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 3: Empowered to tell an adult like I'm good, weirdo, like nope,

1212
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 3: Like predators know who they can fuck with. Predators know

1213
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 3: who they can fuck with, and even children if like

1214
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 3: if you're even children on children abuse, Like if you

1215
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 3: don't give your kid the confidence to tell someone anyone know,

1216
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 3: then they won't have the confidence to know, like they

1217
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 3: have to abide by all adults, Like kids should be

1218
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 3: given the power to have agency over their own bodies. Yeah,

1219
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 3: including if she don't want to hug Uncle Jimmy or

1220
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 3: Auntie Susie.

1221
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 4: Okay, absolutely she don't want to hug. She doesn't have

1222
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 4: to hug today. She doesn't want to fucking speak. She

1223
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:19,240
Speaker 4: really doesn't want to. She doesn't have to speak.

1224
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 3: I don't want to fucking raise any Yes, ask women, people,

1225
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,800
Speaker 3: pleasing women. I'm working out of being a people pleaser.

1226
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 3: I'm trying to give my child the tools to be

1227
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:30,840
Speaker 3: a fucking self pleaser.

1228
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 4: Please yourself a men. Hmmm, Well that concludes our education

1229
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 4: for the day.

1230
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 2: I hope those tools were helpful. And if we have

1231
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 2: any parents that have any other advice or any other

1232
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 2: things you think we've missed, make sure to just DMS

1233
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,720
Speaker 2: let us know. We are learning as well. We're learning

1234
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:57,760
Speaker 2: as we go, and I'm always interested to know about

1235
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 2: how other parents are parenting their kids. Actually, I mean

1236
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: we're new to this shit, Like I'm trying to know, Like, okay,

1237
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 2: you're like, for like our girl near Lyn, she got

1238
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:09,120
Speaker 2: she's a seasoned mama, she'd be knowing a lot of shit.

1239
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 2: I'd be listening to her like, so what did.

1240
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 4: You do girl?

1241
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 2: Because she has two well adjusted, amazing sons that respect women.

1242
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you did your thing, bitch, you did that?

1243
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,399
Speaker 3: Yeah really, and that's huge, Like raising men that are

1244
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:25,959
Speaker 3: who respect women, respect their bodies, understand that like that.

1245
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,880
Speaker 4: Is a huge, huge.

1246
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 3: Role to play. You know, as mom mom, we always

1247
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,920
Speaker 3: have all this. We changed the world.

1248
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 2: We did, we do every day. Well, I guess that's it,

1249
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 2: my love, I guess.

1250
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 3: So if you want to find us, you can find

1251
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 3: us on Instagram at good Mom's Underscore About Choices. If

1252
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 3: you guys are going on the red Tree, I can't

1253
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 3: fucking wait. If you're excited and you haven't, you aren't

1254
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:59,080
Speaker 3: able to join this one. There's only limited spots. We're

1255
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 3: going to do more. Still, go to our website, Good Moms,

1256
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,320
Speaker 3: Bad Choices dot com and sign up for the retreat

1257
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 3: mailing list so you can find out about the next one.

1258
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're already starting to plan our next one because

1259
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:15,799
Speaker 2: we're crazy. But oh make sure you please go rate

1260
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 2: and review us. Go rate and review us. Reviews matter,

1261
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 2: help some black moms out and give us to two

1262
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 2: k ratings. Please and thank you and we'll catch you

1263
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 2: next week.

1264
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 3: Bye. Ella Solo Recorder Lalos The last three s

1265
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:37,920
Speaker 4: Runzul