Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow, let's get right into it.
Speaker 1: Where did COVID come from? Tell us? What the how
Speaker 1: do I know? Why are you asking me? By the way,
Speaker 1: I didn't do it. We could be talking about the
Speaker 1: debt ceiling on racist Dolberg. Of course you want to
Speaker 1: pigeonhole the Asian guy to do the COVID story. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm going to pigeonhole you. You want to know why, Ronnie,
Speaker 1: because when I was a correspondent, I was pigeonholed. My
Speaker 1: whole was pigeoned constantly. That's disgusting. Yeah, it was. Anytime
Speaker 1: there was a subway bombing, they went to the Muslim guy.
Speaker 1: As if I'm on group chat with isis? My most
Speaker 1: viral clip on this show was a photo of me
Speaker 1: wearing a hit job next to John Stewart. You understand. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: the Asian guy has to cover the Asian story, and
Speaker 1: it has to be funny, and it has to be
Speaker 1: deemed commedially acceptable by Vulture dot com. Go okay. First
Speaker 1: of all, Vulture, all right, And second of all, why
Speaker 1: don't you talk about it? You're to explain lecturing us
Speaker 1: about the world despite never having left America. Right, aren't
Speaker 1: you Asian? Two? You talk about it? Na, Na, you're
Speaker 1: setting yourself. Ronnie, you said it right here on this
Speaker 1: show that Indians were not real Asians. Why don't you
Speaker 1: roll the tape? Indians are not Asians? Okay, okay, A
Speaker 1: lot about Indians trying to have it both ways, like
Speaker 1: being Indian and Asian. Pick a lane. I brought receipts mother, Okay, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: you keep your receipts or worth your fifty air Jordan's
Speaker 1: shoe boxes. All right, yeah, I said it. You didn't
Speaker 1: have to roll the tape because I'll say it again
Speaker 1: right now, Indians are not Asians. And by the way,
Speaker 1: I'm more than just Asian, all right. I also live
Speaker 1: in Australia. So why don't you ask me about kangaroos? Fine, Ronnie,
Speaker 1: tell us about kangaroos. All right, Well, I'm glad you asked. Well,
Speaker 1: there's red giant kangaroos, and then there's gray ones and
Speaker 1: the red ones and jump teen feet high, and they
Speaker 1: have closet and rip your dick off through your jeans. No,
Speaker 1: I'll get this shit about kangaroos. Okay, stop talking like
Speaker 1: an angry snapple cap. You don't get decide what is
Speaker 1: on this show, Ronnie. I'm the boss. I decide, Ronnie.
Speaker 1: I mean when you descuire your guest host. Okay, the
Speaker 1: operative one is guest guest in my house. Okay. I'm
Speaker 1: not your token Asian guy. I'm in movies now. I
Speaker 1: was in Meghan. Oh yeah, oh oh, oh you were.
Speaker 1: You were in the movie Megan in theaters right now? Hey,
Speaker 1: what was your role in Meghan? I played a token
Speaker 1: Asian guy in a tech company. But it was sad Higher.
Speaker 1: It was sad High. That's weird because I could have
Speaker 1: sworn that I'm your boss right now, because it says
Speaker 1: my name on the desk. It says The Daily Show
Speaker 1: with Hassan Minhaj, which, by the way, that's my real name,
Speaker 1: Ronnie Chang. I'm run each ronnieach. I'm Ronnie is also
Speaker 1: my real name. You Idia's on my bus certific. Good. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've like you and get a name that you refuse
Speaker 1: to spell phonetically, and then when everyone mispronounces it, you
Speaker 1: try to ellen, Oh oh it's spelled Hussan and they
Speaker 1: called me Hussam. Yeah. Yeah, if I find Ronnie fine, yeah.
Speaker 1: I expressed some emotion. I showed some vulnerability, unlike you,
Speaker 1: I showed some other emotion besides anger. It's something you
Speaker 1: might not be familiar with. Oh no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: know you know all about anger. You love the job.
Speaker 1: What you can rage about evil corporations in America, But
Speaker 1: as soon as the NBA reaches off about the celebrity
Speaker 1: All Star Game, you jump at the chance to score
Speaker 1: zero points. Zero points, Ronnie, stop it, come on, stop,
Speaker 1: stop stop this, stop stop it right now. We can't
Speaker 1: be fighting like this. There's white people here. How are
Speaker 1: we gonna stop Asian hate if we hate each other? Oh,
Speaker 1: you're right. I'm sorry. I'm just slashing out because I
Speaker 1: actually love the Daily Show and I'm scared you're gonna
Speaker 1: get canceled like your Netflix show. Whatever it was called,
Speaker 1: it's called Patriot. It doesn't matter, okay, because despite our differences,
Speaker 1: You're right, we do have a bigger responsibility to the
Speaker 1: Asians and the Asians watching this, because when we fight,
Speaker 1: the white people win, and we can't have that. Exactly.
Speaker 1: We got to bring the segment home. So let's each
Speaker 1: say something nice about each other and show some emotional growth.
Speaker 1: What are you serious? I'm dead serious. All right, Hussan,
Speaker 1: You're good at managing hair. Thank you. Your energy is
Speaker 1: not always annoying. And you know, I've seen you at
Speaker 1: the Daily Show grow to become this force of nature.
Speaker 1: And I'm actually really happy be that you'll posting this week.
Speaker 1: It gets really good. Shut off, everybody, shut up, Thank you, Ronnie.
Speaker 1: And I just want to say, um, I want to
Speaker 1: take this moment to tell you we're out of time,
Speaker 1: Ronnie Chang. Everyone explore more shows from the Daily Show
Speaker 1: podcast universe by searching The Daily Show wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcast. Watch The Daily Show weeknights and eleven tenh
Speaker 1: central on Comedy Central, and stream full episodes anytime on
Speaker 1: Fairmount Floks. This has been a Comedy Central podcast