1 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: Blessed are the meek. That's a great sentiment, but I 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: like to suggest another one. Blessed are the troublemakers. This 3 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: episode is all about people who spoke out and caused trouble, 4 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 1: the rebels. It's time to organize a Hillsong reunion in 5 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: New York. The plays where so much bad stuff happened 6 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: in Hillsong Church. But Brian Houston and Carl Lentz, you're 7 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: not invited. The people I'm going to meet in New 8 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: York played a massive role in my life. They are 9 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,160 Speaker 1: the ones who challenge people with power and called out 10 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: a culture of exploitation and abuse. In the past six 11 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 1: episodes of False Prophets, we've investigated Hillsong's money, its treatment 12 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: of staff and volunteers, and its attitude towards LGBTQ people. 13 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: Without these two women I'm about to meet, I might 14 00:00:55,240 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: have never had the courage to make this series. I 15 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 1: think Tiff and Jennie might be coming down the hall. 16 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: I have like the biggest smile on my face. Oh hello, 17 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:17,400 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, So Tiff is here, Janie is coming 18 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: in wherever you want over there right here? Have you 19 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: met Jennie? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, Okay, I haven't. 20 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: Oh man, you made it. You both made it. Yeah. 21 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:38,400 Speaker 1: After leaving Hillsong, they have been by my side. Tiff 22 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: has been by my side since day one of me leaving. 23 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: I met her while I was at Hillsong, and I 24 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 1: noticed something different about her in comparison to other folks there, 25 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: and she has been a catalyst for me to be 26 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: able to speak out even more. I label myself as 27 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: luck Na neu Rican. My parents are from Brooklyn. I've 28 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,959 Speaker 1: daughter of her single mom, oldest technically a five. I 29 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: was raised Catholic. I was twenty two twenty three leading 30 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: the youth group at my church and the older people 31 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: just didn't want anything to do with the youth. And 32 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,519 Speaker 1: I was introduced by two friends that I went to 33 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: high school with and they introduced me in the whole song. 34 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: And that first day is the date that I have 35 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:37,639 Speaker 1: tattooed on my collar bone April twenty nine, twenty twelve, 36 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,080 Speaker 1: even while we were attending, like I remember like sometimes 37 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: looking around and being like what the fuck did I 38 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: get myself into. Janice is a whole another story. She's amazing, 39 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: She's so creative, and I found her through Tiffany and 40 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: just on social media, see the skits that she would 41 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: put together and the blog post that she would do, 42 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: and to see how she would use her rage and 43 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: her creativity in her own way to speak out against Hillsong. 44 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 1: I am Janice. I am a black woman, cat person writer. 45 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: I grew up in church and yeah, back in the 46 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: early two thousands, my church started using Hillsong music, so 47 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: that's how I got introduced to Hillsong. Since leaving Hillsong, 48 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: tiff Tiffany Perez has been a part of Do Better Church, 49 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: a group for victims and survivors of church abuse, and 50 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: Janice Legata has been running her own podcast, God is 51 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: Not given another space for victims and survivors of church abuse. 52 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: We've all brought something with us, something from our past. 53 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: So we brought an item. So I'm gonna grab mine, 54 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: and I asked people to bring something that reminds him 55 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: of Hillsong. Why don't you open your open mine? So 56 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: it is a picture. So yeah, so this is a 57 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 1: picture of tiff and I after church on a Sunday, 58 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: And I actually cropped someone out of it because they 59 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: were part of my traumatic experience at Hillsong. I wanted 60 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 1: to include Tiff obviously just heard. Now I'm a little 61 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: teary eyed for this, Yeah, and I want you to 62 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: keep it. Oh yeah, I brought it for you, Yeah, 63 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: because I think that was like a big moment for 64 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: me where I finally met someone who was LATINX doing 65 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: more leadership. Yeah. We look very different from that time. 66 00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: We're very free now. Yeah. Yeah feel like the genuine 67 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:06,159 Speaker 1: of like the friendship, yeah has always been there. So oh, 68 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: Tip brought something really bitter sweet. It's from the time 69 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:18,840 Speaker 1: when she went to Hillsong College in Australia. Oh, what 70 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: is it? So it's my ring. My mom bought that 71 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: for me when I graduated from Hillsong College because she 72 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,160 Speaker 1: was actually able to go to Sydney and there was 73 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: a place she always wants it to go, so she 74 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: got me that. It's like the only thing that I 75 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 1: still kind of hold on too, obviously, my tattoo. I 76 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: can't let go of you. Yeah, but I wear it 77 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 1: every day and if I don't have it on, I 78 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: feel like naked without it. Yeah. Has the symbol of 79 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: that like changed for you? It hasn't, because Hillsong College 80 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 1: was the only college that I graduated from, So it's 81 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: a big moment for me. Even though like the definition 82 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: has changed, it was a big deal for me to 83 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 1: do that. It was something that i'd for me. Ultimately, 84 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: I just learned things that I didn't think I would 85 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: from that. Well, yeah, Jannis went to Hillsong College too, 86 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 1: but years before Teth learning how to do church the 87 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: Hillsong Way was a dream for many followers. Janna started 88 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: to look for conferences she wanted to go to in 89 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 1: the US, but when she found out about Hillsong College, 90 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: she wanted to go. Whatever the cost. I don't remember 91 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: the exact numbers now, so this was back in two 92 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: thousand and five. It was expensive, like I did have 93 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: to save, but it wasn't It wasn't a crazy amount 94 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: like it was. It was doable. So many Biblical stories 95 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 1: of people just being called out of their element and 96 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: into places they've never been and doing things they've never 97 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: done so attract and what she learned there wasn't necessarily 98 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 1: what she was expecting to learn. You're learning Hillsong culture, 99 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: you're learning the Hillsong way of doing things, but you're 100 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,280 Speaker 1: not particularly picking up any kind of actual skills. We 101 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: used to laugh at the graduation ceremonies where they would 102 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: trot out, you know, like, oh, here's this great violin player. 103 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: You know, here's our little string section or whatever, and 104 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: these are skills these people came here with. Like nobody 105 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: learned how to play the violin at Hillsong, Like it 106 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: wasn't until my third year, I think, when they started 107 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 1: offering like basic music theory classes. So it was just 108 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: very here's what the Bible says about worship, but here's 109 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,679 Speaker 1: actually what Hillsong says about what the Bible says about worship. 110 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: No actual qualifications or transferable skills. I mean maybe I did, 111 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: for a time work as part of the cleaning crew, 112 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: so I was on paid staff as a janitor basically, 113 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: So if that's a skill I learned how to, I 114 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: no longer remember exactly how to make Brian Houston's coffee. 115 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: So he likes his coffee like it's like random, like 116 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: three long shots of coffee, but like super hot, which 117 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: means that the grinds are burnt essentially. Yeah, And majority 118 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: of the time you're like, this is the pastor's coffee, 119 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: and ninety five percent of the time they didn't drink it. 120 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: So that was part of my time in Australia. I've 121 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 1: learned how to make the pastor's coffee, and I was 122 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: super intimidated to do it, so I had my team 123 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: do it. But now I'm just like, I'll make anyone 124 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,120 Speaker 1: a coffee. Yeah, it's not a big deal. Anything is 125 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: better than burnt being coffee. Oh yeah, extra hot. The 126 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 1: assistants are like and then you couldn't double cup it, 127 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,199 Speaker 1: so you just had to burn your fucking hand like 128 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:49,839 Speaker 1: holding the cup. If you're interested in learning more about 129 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: burnt being coffee and other stuff, the price tag today 130 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: for an undergraduate bachelor's in ministry at Hillsong College, Australia 131 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: is just over twelve thousand US dollars a year for 132 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: overseas students. The course last three years. But there's a 133 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: college in California formerly in Arizona as well. But you 134 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: won't get to make burntbreing coffee for Brian Houston because 135 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: a big eagle got fired. As time progressed, I realized 136 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,080 Speaker 1: that I wasn't the only one who had been speaking out. 137 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: There've been people speaking out for years, more than thirty years. 138 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: I was now joining the rebellion, some people may say, 139 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,079 Speaker 1: and honestly it's an honor to call myself part of 140 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 1: the rebellion. It's an honor to be called a heretic. 141 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,959 Speaker 1: Jesus was called a heretic, So for me to be 142 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: called a heretic, to be called someone who's speaking out, 143 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: to be called someone who's churning tables or flipping tables, 144 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,679 Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. Speaking out has been a part 145 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: of my healing journey, and even that words joe for me. 146 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: But I'm really grateful that I've been able to find 147 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: that part of me to speak out. Being a part 148 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,079 Speaker 1: of the Do Better Church team has helped me a lot. 149 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: A good friend of mine now it was like, whoever 150 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 1: wants to be a part of this thing, Like we 151 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: don't know what it's going to look like, but we 152 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: want to hear people's stories. And Folks's courage gave me 153 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 1: my own. So that's what started it. It was realizing 154 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: I wasn't alone. Yeah, and it was during the height 155 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: of the pandemic too, so we were all home, ye, 156 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 1: like just stewing and all of these things, and it 157 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: was just like I remember just being like fuck this, Yeah, 158 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: I need to get this out. Yeah. Sure, there's like 159 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 1: I'm hoping that someone hears me and feels comfortable enough 160 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:58,040 Speaker 1: to say their story or be able to acknowledge what 161 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,079 Speaker 1: they've gone through themselves. But I'm doing it for me 162 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,839 Speaker 1: and I have been. There was so much that I 163 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: didn't talk about for years and with anyone, so just 164 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 1: the pent up, like I need to let this out. 165 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 1: And thankfully Instagram was and has been a tool that's 166 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: been very useful for me to be able to speak out. 167 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 1: After you had left, I would check in to see 168 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: how you were doing. Yeah. But when I left, I 169 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: texted you and I said, Tiff, I left Hill Song, 170 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. And then we started 171 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: talking and I shared my experience and we were like 172 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: there for each other over text yeah, and then over 173 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 1: the phone. And then you reach out and told me 174 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 1: about Do Better Church. Yeah, and I was like okay, 175 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,559 Speaker 1: like sure, I'll write it out, and we started like 176 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: sharing more and writing out. I think Do Better Church 177 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 1: is like a big connection probably for the three of us. 178 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: I remember I wrote like almost like three to five pages, 179 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: like it was long, and I submitted it and I 180 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: was like, I don't know who's going to read this, 181 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,319 Speaker 1: and if it's going to be shared, I don't care 182 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: but at least I did it, and from there it 183 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: was like a catalyst. And then things started happening on 184 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 1: social media and I started like posting war and calling 185 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 1: pastors out. And that's how like like we were connected, 186 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: Like you were a big part for me to start 187 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,839 Speaker 1: sharing because you told me about do better church. So 188 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 1: to hear you say that was also a big part 189 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,599 Speaker 1: for you, and that I was also in genis is 190 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: also a part for you to start sharing your story. 191 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 1: Like that's that's deep. We finally found safety. Yeah, and 192 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: it was through the internet. Yeah, when speaking out rage 193 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:50,439 Speaker 1: is actually really important because it helps give you some 194 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: courage to say the things that you've been wanting to say. 195 00:12:55,480 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: Oftentimes you tend to protect people or you were taught 196 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: to protect your pastor or your leader growing up in church. 197 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 1: Speaking out comes with consequences. But when it came to Hillsong, 198 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: I realized that it was a whole nother level because 199 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:21,199 Speaker 1: Hillsong isn't a whole other level economically, and they have 200 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 1: more power socially. There are millions of people who follow 201 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:30,280 Speaker 1: the church on social media and on different platforms, so 202 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 1: the backlash was at a different level. And that's what 203 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 1: I wasn't prepared for when I first started speaking out, 204 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 1: and I started receiving backlash from different leaders from the church, 205 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: from different trolls. I ended up having to admit myself 206 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 1: into the hospital because of all the backlash that I received. 207 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: Everyone wanted to know about Hillsong. You start learning more 208 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 1: about like the media and about reporter is and what 209 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: they're looking for. Then you start getting labeled by people 210 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: within the church. Yes, as like the gossipers and the naysayers. 211 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:13,719 Speaker 1: If you're not in line with Hillsong, then you're automatically 212 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 1: a troublemaker. You're a God hater, you're a liar, you're 213 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 1: a gossiper. And I'm like, Okay, you want to continue 214 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 1: throwing labels out, sure, but can we talk about yours too, 215 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: and what you've been complicit with and what you're allowing 216 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 1: And so if I'm going to be a troublemaker, then 217 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: good trouble right. Yeah, I didn't set out to be 218 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,440 Speaker 1: a troublemaker, and I shouldn't be right, Like, if you 219 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: guys were doing the right thing. There's so much going 220 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 1: on in the world. It's just so weird that we're 221 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: public enemy number one, Like, where are your biggest concern. Yeah, 222 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: not the way people's rights are being stripped or not, 223 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: you know, the abuse that's happening. Yeah, none of that, 224 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 1: Like you're not looking within its people who are telling 225 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 1: it's the people who were sorry who were speaking about 226 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 1: like the people who are trying to stop trouble. Yeah, 227 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: are the trouble troublemakers. It's just so backwards, like if 228 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: you're not us, then you're against us. It's like I 229 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 1: need to say something for myself and if you don't 230 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: like it, then maybe you should have acted better. He've 231 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,640 Speaker 1: better treated people better. But if you're still not doing it, 232 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 1: then I'm going to question it and I'm going to 233 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: continue to call you out and I'm going to continue 234 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: get blocked. I don't care you got blocks. I've been 235 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: blocked by Brian Howson on Twitter and I'm not even 236 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: on Twitter like that you welcome to the club and 237 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 1: I've been blocked. I was blocked because I tweeted something 238 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 1: you told me to tweet. I was like, yeah, do 239 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 1: that write it? Okay? The block blocked? Have you been blocked? 240 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,160 Speaker 1: Are you? Are you part of the club? No, what 241 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: I can either in or out. I can't get blocked 242 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 1: by Brian Man. I guess I'm in. It got really scary. 243 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: I didn't know what to do. I was being targeted 244 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: and stalked on social media by different leaders, constantly getting messages, 245 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: and it was just a little bit too overwhelming for me. 246 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: I had to step away for my own safety. Whenever 247 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,240 Speaker 1: stories are shared in the media, or whenever we share 248 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 1: in different like documentaries or articles, you don't hear often 249 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 1: people talk about racism and it's so frustrating because it's 250 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 1: there and it's so visible, but no one has the 251 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: courage or I don't even know what it is to 252 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 1: just step into that and talk about because it's real, 253 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 1: it's there and it happens. And there's like two women 254 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: of color and an afab of color, like that's big. Yeah. 255 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 1: For me, there was this glass ceiling constantly. As a Latina, 256 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:21,199 Speaker 1: there's hardly any representation of anything but white Australian. Right 257 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: for me to be a woman of color, I'm already 258 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 1: a woman and then a woman of color was just like, 259 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 1: all right, well, you can help with hospitality things and 260 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 1: you can help with taking care of people, but to 261 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: see yourself on a stage, yeah, that wasn't going to happen. 262 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 1: But I'm there because they needed the representation for the 263 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: brochures and for look at what we do on social media. 264 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 1: They're never going to talk about the ugly. I was 265 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: called exotic while I was at holl Song College because 266 00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: I'm Puto Rican and I'm like fam no, like, yes 267 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,119 Speaker 1: i am, but no, not to you, Like that's not 268 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: available to you. The people who have spoken out about 269 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: the racism, they've received attacks and they've received death threats. 270 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 1: It goes back to this troublemaker thing. You're labeled as 271 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: a troublemaker, but now people are going to threaten you. Yeah, 272 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: it happens in Christian spaces all the time. Oh yeah, 273 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: a thousand percent. What about for you, Jennie. I mean 274 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 1: it's kind of Hillsong is a colonial company, right, it 275 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,440 Speaker 1: goes where it goes as a colonizer. I mean, it's 276 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 1: just wild to think about it now. But like we 277 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 1: just accepted that and through the doors opening. Yeah. Yeah, 278 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: white men from way over there come over here and 279 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 1: tell us how to do church. Yeah. And so I 280 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 1: mean it was always always there, blatantly right on the surface, 281 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 1: but we didn't see and we're just having very different 282 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:59,400 Speaker 1: conversations now than we were ten years ago. But when 283 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: we did start having those conversations, I think people can 284 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 1: see it, but people don't want to talk about it 285 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: because then we have to get into conversations about intentions 286 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 1: versus you know, impact, and people suddenly want to become 287 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,920 Speaker 1: very like factual and they want you to prove things 288 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,040 Speaker 1: and like show it to me on paper. Yeah, and 289 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: it's like you can't. And people don't believe people of color, 290 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,160 Speaker 1: they don't believe women, they don't believe women of color. 291 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: Can they immediately turn everything back on you? Right? And 292 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: so for me to say, I mean, I'm ghostwriting Josh 293 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: Kayne's sermons, I'm writing the connect group studies you guys 294 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 1: are using across the church. But he's qualified to be 295 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: a preacher, but I'm not. But I can never say 296 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: that because then it becomes why do you think you 297 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 1: should be a preacher? Now? It's about my heart, right 298 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: and what I want and what am I in it for? Ye? 299 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: And you know what do you really would you really 300 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: care about? Yeah? So, like much of the work we 301 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,360 Speaker 1: do for them, So before we're even having these conversations, 302 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: you've probably done months, if not years, of talking yourself 303 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,119 Speaker 1: down right and being like, no, it's not it's not 304 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: about me. And then by the time I'm seeing something, 305 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if Carlins doesn't see it. Yeah, and 306 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,200 Speaker 1: he's not going to believe me because you're too close 307 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: to this topic and you have an agenda now, right, 308 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 1: and so yeah, the conversation goes nowhere, and then you 309 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 1: get caught in that space of well, I have to 310 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: be the change I want to see, So now I've 311 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: got to stay here and work, work with him and 312 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 1: work on this and maybe that's that's mine, that's why 313 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 1: i'm because that's also something they get you to do, 314 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 1: to do their labor. Well, I mean, and then Carl 315 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 1: even even now, like you'll still see people. Yeah, No, 316 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 1: but he said black lives matter. Carl always loved black people. Carl. Oh, 317 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: we appreciate Carl, And I'm like, no, he didn't. He 318 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 1: was doing the least nobody else was saying. It's so 319 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: much great. It was just saying saying it and liking 320 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: that attention. Yeah, and getting that attention. Yeah, like it 321 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,880 Speaker 1: implicates everybody. Look at him, He's saying black lives matter. 322 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: Why are you more grateful? Right? Because we're so devalued. 323 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,919 Speaker 1: We should be thankful for any scraps and then honestly 324 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,440 Speaker 1: that should hold you for a good long while. Yeah, 325 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,680 Speaker 1: like you guys like you just always want more, so 326 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,679 Speaker 1: then it becomes about us again. It's just exhausting. I mean, 327 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 1: it's it's tiring work, and especially when people don't want 328 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:37,119 Speaker 1: to do it. Troublemaking is exhausting, tough work. Not everyone 329 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:42,920 Speaker 1: can do it. So we've been speaking out, and I 330 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,120 Speaker 1: know the message that we've had has changed over time. 331 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 1: I know for me, at first it was just don't 332 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:53,159 Speaker 1: abuse people, stop, like do better, but now I'm like, 333 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: fuck it, burn it down. What does justice and accountability 334 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 1: look like for you? Tif with a oologies has to 335 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:06,359 Speaker 1: come action steps. There's been weak as apologies. It's always 336 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 1: that I'm sorry, you feel right sorry if you yeah, 337 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:15,000 Speaker 1: if you felt that way. Yeah, it's never this acknowledgement. 338 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 1: There's no holding anyone responsible in a Hillsong world. And 339 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: it's globally like if Hillsong could have gone to different 340 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 1: planets in different universes, they would have. Now they're falling 341 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: apart because they're dumpster fire. Yeah, but there's no accountability, 342 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 1: like they're reaping what they sowed. It's literally they're crumbling 343 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 1: on their own because of their own actions. Yeah, because 344 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: their foundation wasn't good to begin with, right, and that's 345 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 1: not going to stand the test of time. Right. Yeah. 346 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: The Bible talks about building on sand by by house. 347 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:59,320 Speaker 1: What about for you, Janice? I mean, in a perfect world, 348 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 1: justice and accountability would look like Hillsong being dismantled, all 349 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 1: of their finances being brought to the front, and them 350 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: having to repay everybody return tied to return tuition, and 351 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 1: be forced to pay for a people's therapy. I don't 352 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 1: think we're ever going to see justice. It's possible, but 353 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 1: I feel like most of them are just gonna skate away. Yeah. 354 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,640 Speaker 1: None of them have repented. None of them have given 355 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,680 Speaker 1: any true apologies, shown any true remorse. So I have 356 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:38,159 Speaker 1: to be satisfied with knowing they're not happy people. That 357 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 1: turmoil that they have, They've earned it, and that's theirs 358 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: to keep. I just want the institution to not exist anymore. Okay, 359 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,920 Speaker 1: to at least get out of the United States. You 360 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,880 Speaker 1: can do whatever you're going to do in Australia. That's 361 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,159 Speaker 1: none of my business, but you need to get out 362 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: of here. And you know, when I see them on 363 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 1: the online streets to remind them of who they are. Ye, 364 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,200 Speaker 1: so you're not Yeah, you can move on to another church. 365 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: But if I see you, I'm gonna say something. And 366 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 1: I mean true, Jesice, the best justice is just us 367 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 1: living our best lives. Yeah, and we are getting there. 368 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: I'm working in public health and LGBTQ rights advocacy. I'm 369 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: doing truly meaningful work and I'm being paid for it. 370 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship. I have family and friends who 371 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: love me. And I look at Janice, who've written a 372 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,119 Speaker 1: new musical, who is sharing her creativity with the world 373 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: on her terms. And I look at Tiff, who is 374 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: also doing a job she loves, getting properly paid for 375 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:50,160 Speaker 1: supporting children. I was told that you brought something today, Janice. 376 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:55,240 Speaker 1: Could you share a little bit more about that bearing gifts? 377 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,360 Speaker 1: Sure you come burying gifts. It's not a gift. Oh, 378 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 1: it's a okay to you? Oh my god? Um yeah, 379 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,719 Speaker 1: just thinking about because we haven't met in person, yeah before, 380 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: and we have we have so much history, but I 381 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,479 Speaker 1: don't know, it's it's a weird history. It is right, 382 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 1: like we're tied together and we know so many of 383 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 1: the same people. Yeah, when we come from the same place, 384 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 1: but we've never been in the same place. Yeah. So 385 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:31,879 Speaker 1: I just wrote this letter. Okay, I mean it feels 386 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 1: like I just read the letter. You can go for it. 387 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 1: Yeah so, no, immy. A Life of Significance. That was 388 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 1: the tagline, the motto, the slogan emblazoned across the T 389 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 1: shirts and messenger bags they handed out on registration day 390 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 1: at Hillsong International Leadership College when I arrived in May 391 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 1: of two thousand and five. A life of significance Hillsong 392 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: lies about a lot, and it's wrong about a lot. 393 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: And I suspect they were lying about that, but they 394 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,919 Speaker 1: weren't wrong. And I think a lot about the signific 395 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 1: against I may have had in your story. I lose 396 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 1: time imagining ways I could have changed, not the outcome, 397 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 1: because here we are, but the middle, the parts I 398 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: helped set in motion and then missed. But who could 399 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: have known? What percentage of responsibility does my well intentioned 400 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 1: service hold for the hell you were steered into? And 401 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,439 Speaker 1: regardless of the answer, how can I make it up 402 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 1: to you to tiff to everyone hurt? That's the question, 403 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 1: that's the quest to be as dedicated to the dismantling 404 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,359 Speaker 1: as I was, to the dissonance and memory of what 405 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 1: happened to you, but not really for you at this point, 406 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: because you're all right. You lived, and you are living 407 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,920 Speaker 1: as yourself in spite of all the ways the leaders 408 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,040 Speaker 1: of Philo Song Boston leaned into and led with their 409 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: own fears and insecurities to discourage you, discourage me and 410 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 1: everyone who wasn't a white boy. And here we are 411 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: looking back with more sorrow than anyone should have about 412 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 1: a place that loved to say welcome home, and more 413 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: laughter than expected. And as much as I wish everything 414 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,879 Speaker 1: could have been different, if I'm honest, I probably wouldn't 415 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: change a thing. I'm not saying the pain was worth 416 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,680 Speaker 1: the inside jokes, but some folks still only have the pain. 417 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,639 Speaker 1: So I'm very thankful for you, and I'm proud of 418 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 1: you in ways I don't have any right to be, 419 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,720 Speaker 1: because I was no help to you. But I've learned 420 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: anything from Hill Song, It's how to take the most 421 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: credit for doing the least. Amen. And as Hill Song 422 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 1: continues to burn, it's an honor, it's a joy. It's 423 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,480 Speaker 1: a good time to be standing on the right side 424 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 1: of the fire with you, And after so much time 425 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,480 Speaker 1: and so many attempts by so many people to turn 426 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 1: us into useful, Hillsong approved versions of us, it turns 427 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: out that a life simply lived as ourselves really is 428 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:41,960 Speaker 1: a life of significance. Thankful for, proud of, and proud 429 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: to know you, Mad Love Jennis. Wow, thank you. That 430 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 1: was I'm like holding back tears right now. You're an 431 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 1: amazing person. I didn't know this was happening. So this 432 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:03,920 Speaker 1: is it's like a complete like shock to me. You 433 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,160 Speaker 1: say in your letter that you feel like you had 434 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: some responsibility. Yeah, and I don't see that, and I 435 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 1: feel I'm sorry that you do. For me, it was 436 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:21,679 Speaker 1: like beyond our control because that was a Brian Houston thing. 437 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and that was not your it's not your 438 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: very christianise. It's not your burden to bear. Yeah, thank you, 439 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:48,240 Speaker 1: Thank you, Janice Lagata and Tiffany Press, thank you for 440 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,320 Speaker 1: this Health Song reunion. When I look at the three 441 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 1: of us, I think we will survive. We left hill 442 00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,080 Speaker 1: Song and face the backlash, but we kept going. And 443 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:04,720 Speaker 1: whatever happens to Hillsong, whether it survives and thrives or 444 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 1: whether it crumbles and falls, we will be okay, because, 445 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 1: as Jana says, a life simply lived as ourselves is 446 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: a life of significance. We have not given up the fight. 447 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 1: I do believe we all suffered spiritual abuse in this church, 448 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 1: and I still want answers from Hillsong, So in this 449 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 1: final episode, I'm still searching for accountability and justice,