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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Five Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Nila, and it's Wednesday, Bitchy, Happy mother fucking hump Day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and pump Day and pump and pump Day. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I like how you say that.

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Speaker 2: I guess, like technically, if we're going to be technical.

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Speaker 4: It depends where you're at in your journey.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: That No, I don't think it matters. I think always

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Speaker 3: pumping comes before the bumping.

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Speaker 4: I mean, let's be pumped. Lets you're pumping because you've pumped.

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Speaker 2: Way, pump Day is a different day. No, We're like,

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Speaker 2: we're confusing and confusing.

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Speaker 1: Well, we have a very special guest today. If you

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Speaker 1: hear a foreign voice, that's not Erica or I. It

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Speaker 1: is the all time most high off at the pregnancy

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Speaker 1: Bible that everyone has seen, read and heard of the

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Speaker 1: series of What to Expect When Expecting, Heidi Murka.

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Speaker 2: That's me, Like, I mean, why Hi, everybody? Hi? I

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Speaker 2: love there.

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Speaker 3: Heidi is a very very special guest today.

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Speaker 1: She is probably like one of the most recognized women

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Speaker 1: in pregnancy world.

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Speaker 3: She was recognized by Times.

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Speaker 1: For most one hundred most influential people in twenty eleven.

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Speaker 1: I feel so special to be honored to be able

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Speaker 1: to like interview you.

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Speaker 2: I feel, Oh, but that's so twenty eleven.

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Speaker 3: So what it never goes away.

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Speaker 4: You're a Smithsonian. I mean you've sold millions and millions

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Speaker 4: and millions and millions and millions. I mean I can

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Speaker 4: keep saying millions because it's going to keep going, like

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Speaker 4: twenty millions of millions of books. I mean, I know

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Speaker 4: when I you know, I got pregnant, that's like the

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Speaker 4: book everyone recommends that you must have, you know, So,

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Speaker 4: I mean you are a legend for sure.

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Speaker 2: WHOA I feel, I don't know what to say besides

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Speaker 2: I love you.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I love you too.

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Speaker 2: You had me at Hello.

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much for like allowing us in your space.

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Speaker 1: You know Eric, and if you guys have been listening,

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Speaker 1: you know that Eric and I are very pushy. And

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Speaker 1: when Heidi's agent told us she didn't have a lot

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Speaker 1: of time to come to us, we said, we'll come

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Speaker 1: to her house.

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Speaker 3: Don't worry, We said, ask her if I could come over.

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Speaker 2: But it's not my house, just so you know, we're remodeling,

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Speaker 2: so this is not my space.

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Speaker 4: But enough, when you go back home, we'll come over

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Speaker 4: there too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, date, it's a date.

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Speaker 3: We'll bring red wine.

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Speaker 2: Excellent your open invitation.

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Speaker 3: It's not a joke once you come on the show,

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Speaker 3: or your friend for life.

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Speaker 2: Oh I like the way that sounds. I need me

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Speaker 2: some friends.

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Speaker 3: Well here you are too, mom friends. You never knew

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Speaker 3: you needed.

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Speaker 2: I kind of did.

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Speaker 3: Oh perfect, I'm happy. So let's roll right into it.

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Speaker 3: Should we do our Tarot card.

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Speaker 4: Of the day. Sure, we always open the show with

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Speaker 4: little Taro. So what do the Tarot gods have for

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Speaker 4: us to day?

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Speaker 3: Mela today? The Tarot guards Taro guards.

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Speaker 1: The Tarot gods today have given us the card of judgment.

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Speaker 3: No upside down.

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Speaker 4: Oh no.

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Speaker 1: So it says, in a financial context, don't be overly

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Speaker 1: cautious with money.

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Speaker 4: That's not to.

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Speaker 1: Suggest you should go wild. You may find yourself deliberating

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Speaker 1: endlessly about every purchase. If it's something you need and

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Speaker 1: you can afford it, just buy it. It's good to

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Speaker 1: be financially responsible, but you don't have to fret about

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Speaker 1: every penny you spend.

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Speaker 4: I don't think I think this card is fucking with me.

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Speaker 3: No, I think it's no.

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Speaker 1: I think it's telling us something. It's telling us we're

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Speaker 1: going to be rich very soon. Nice, Heidi's richness is

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Speaker 1: bleeding off onto, and just not to worry, like it's fine.

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Speaker 3: Her success is just gonna bleed.

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Speaker 4: So those Gucci shoes that I was looking at on

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Speaker 4: the internet last night, I should just get them.

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Speaker 2: Right, okay, but don't put them on my credit Fine,

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Speaker 2: Like we just met, I know we're going to be

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Speaker 2: best friends and everything.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I have access to those yet, Heidi,

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Speaker 1: we're your new daughters now, like, just one Paragucci shoes, eat,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get wait?

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Speaker 2: Wait, wait, wait have you run this by Emma?

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Speaker 1: Though we're all going to be matching, it won't be

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Speaker 1: official if we're all that matching to the event.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, okay, Well, just so you know, Emma buys

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Speaker 2: her own shoes. Now mama wants a new pair of shoes,

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Speaker 2: she has to buy it. I'm just saying that's true.

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Speaker 3: We're mom's now with my own ship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Fuck, the one thing I miss about childhood?

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Speaker 2: Well? Wait, what size shoe do you wear? We can share?

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Speaker 1: You know what, I'm really sad to say that I'm

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Speaker 1: like very small, but I have an average size woman's foot.

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Speaker 1: I'm like below average and size, but my foot is

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Speaker 1: average size.

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Speaker 2: So you know what they say about that? Yeah, actually don't.

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Speaker 4: I just was going with a huge vagina.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well they do say that about petite women, Heidi.

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Speaker 3: I know you've heard it.

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Speaker 1: I've never heard an inappropriate joke about you know what

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Speaker 1: they saw about small women.

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Speaker 2: No, that's why I was telling the joke. But I

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Speaker 2: didn't know. I didn't know what the Well.

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Speaker 1: It's not necessarily pertaining to your shoe sides, but they

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Speaker 1: there's there is a running joke. I don't believe that

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Speaker 1: you've never heard it about petite women.

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Speaker 2: What you could drive a truck through it or what.

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Speaker 3: Like, Yeah, you could take big penises.

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Speaker 2: Well, so now relative to us, they are all big.

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Speaker 1: True, that's actually that's not a fact.

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Speaker 3: I do not agree with that. I in fact, I know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well you probably someone probably told you that joke, Hidi,

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Speaker 1: right over your head.

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Speaker 3: I'm happy. I'm tired. You don't think.

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Speaker 2: Anything goes over my head. But no, nobody has actually

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Speaker 2: said that before. But good to know.

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Speaker 4: Well, now you can use it your next dinner.

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Speaker 2: I can.

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Speaker 1: I'm pissed that everybody feels comfortable enough with me to

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Speaker 1: just throw that joke around.

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Speaker 3: I must say fuck with me. It's fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm I'm down with that.

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Speaker 3: I always talking as a compliment, but you know, take

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Speaker 3: it out where you want.

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Speaker 2: I'm taking it.

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Speaker 3: That's pun intended.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we're so inappropriate.

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Speaker 4: Well yeah, welcome to good mom's bad choices.

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Speaker 2: Hey, listen. I gotta say, for the record, I was

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Speaker 2: the first person to say penis on national television, right

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Speaker 2: a legend.

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Speaker 1: I told you, I told you guys, well, it was beautifulson.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't out of context or anything. I was invited

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Speaker 2: to talk about sexert and pregnancy on Good Morning America

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Speaker 2: with Joan London. We're going back a few years, and

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Speaker 2: so it came up in the conversation, like what was

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Speaker 2: I supposed to call it? And then get off the

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Speaker 2: secon Yeah, yeah, exactly, mister Johnson. I don't know, but

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Speaker 2: I said penis, you know, and as I said, in context,

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Speaker 2: it wasn't out of context. And I get off the

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Speaker 2: set and they were all like, you said penis, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, yes, I did. We were talking about

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Speaker 2: sex during pregnancy. You saw like everybody shifting uncomfortably. And

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Speaker 2: but anyway, so then it was Seinfeld and everything was penis.

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Speaker 2: Penis penis after that.

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Speaker 1: So basically you broke the like nothing, I broke the cherry.

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Speaker 1: You broke the cherry of penis on TV. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: thank you, I really do, thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: your work.

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Speaker 2: You're welcome. Yeah, I've used it liberally ever since.

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Speaker 4: You know, I think that that's really important. I think,

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Speaker 4: I mean even now, like with our space and talking

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Speaker 4: about I mean, our spaces were very transparent.

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Speaker 2: If you can't note I had not thank you for

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Speaker 2: pointing that out.

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Speaker 4: But even talking about like to our children and kids

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Speaker 4: about their body parts and like things that I'm just like,

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Speaker 4: why are we making all these code names for things?

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Speaker 2: I mean, call it, call it what it is exactly. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we've said vagina and peenis so far. So can we

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Speaker 2: move on or is that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I think I think we want to move on to

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Speaker 4: the affirmation of the day. How do we normally ask

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Speaker 4: our guests to, you know, help our listeners kind of

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Speaker 4: you know, set their week up and something that's going

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Speaker 4: to motivate them for the week. I'd love to know

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Speaker 4: kind of like how you stay motivated or what maybe

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Speaker 4: mantra you live by.

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Speaker 2: My mommy mantra? Sure, go ahead, Yeah, No, My mommy

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Speaker 2: mantra is stop and smell the babies, because I learned

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Speaker 2: this a hard way. They don't smell so sweet after

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Speaker 2: a while, and I think it's like a you know,

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Speaker 2: it's a metaphor for everything. You got to slow down

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Speaker 2: and enjoy those moments that are going to be over

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Speaker 2: in a flash.

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Speaker 3: So stop and smell the babies.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's funny you say that because I was smelling

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Speaker 4: my daughter yesterday because she still has like round cheeks,

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Speaker 4: but they're like starting to get thinner, and I'm getting

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Speaker 4: really sad. In fact, like I was looking at her

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Speaker 4: the other day and I like started crying and she

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Speaker 4: was like, why are you crying so dramatic? And I

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Speaker 4: was like, because, like you're growing up and I just

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Speaker 4: need you to stop. And I was smelling her and

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Speaker 4: I was like, she still has a smell to her. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: although like there have been a few times where I've

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Speaker 4: smelled her armpits and they've kind of smelled and I

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Speaker 4: was like, what is happening?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for six you know that. Yeah, I remember the

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Speaker 2: first time. And you know, it's funny. With boys, it's

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Speaker 2: more of a sudden thing. Because I have a girl

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Speaker 2: and a boy, a woman, and a man. They didn't

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Speaker 2: start out that way. And with my son, it was

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Speaker 2: literally overnight. I tucked him into bed one night and

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Speaker 2: he was a little boy, you know, a little blonde

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Speaker 2: chair up with these rown teeth. And next morning I

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Speaker 2: woke up and I took him to school, picked him up,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, what is that smell? There was

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Speaker 2: a smell in the car and I never ever had

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Speaker 2: been a smell in the car before. And so, but

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Speaker 2: I think with girls it's a more gradual process, like

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Speaker 2: they have pppppms, you know, for like years and then

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Speaker 2: they become women. But it's much more abrupt. Boys.

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Speaker 4: Well, thank god we have girls.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know if I don't know. The jury's out, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: the sury's out. The attitudes are high.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yesterday I cuddled with our friend's new new

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Speaker 1: new babies, like one month old at the beach.

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Speaker 2: Did you stuff and smell the baby dud in a moment.

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Speaker 1: It was at a party, and I was still just like,

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Speaker 1: don't someone trying to take the baby from.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, don't take the baby.

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Speaker 3: Hold on, step away from the baby a minute. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: what the fuck?

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Speaker 4: Uh huh?

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Speaker 1: I've only had seventy minutes, yeah, but going on the

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Speaker 1: twentieth minute and like take it, I'm getting baby fever.

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Speaker 2: And when the cheek is again, yeah, you put your face.

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Speaker 2: You can't, and it's like you hope they'll just stick there.

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Speaker 3: You know, and then they don't. They keep growing and

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Speaker 3: talking back.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to talk about them. Okay again, I

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Speaker 4: literally cried, it's ridiculous. My daughter the other side, I

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Speaker 4: I didn't cause tra She's like, I always look at

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Speaker 4: little cry my mom. Okay, mentally unstable. Definitely thinks I'm unstable.

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Speaker 3: She's like, why are you crying. I'm like, I'm just

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Speaker 3: sad but happy. But you're beautiful.

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Speaker 4: You have grandchildren, so you're able to kind of like relive.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're both boys.

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Speaker 3: Both her son and daughter both have kids.

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Speaker 2: No, just the daughter.

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Speaker 4: Are they smelling yet?

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Speaker 2: No? Not yet? No, okay, they're eight and three, but

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Speaker 2: they don't know they well, I mean the three year

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Speaker 2: old smells because he hasn't pooped in the potty yet,

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Speaker 2: so he smells for other reasons, but just he's sweet,

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Speaker 2: sticky sweet. But yeah, it's a smell. We don't want

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Speaker 2: to talk about necessarily.

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Speaker 3: And the outside doors. Yeah, so I have a question.

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Speaker 1: Everybody knows your epic amazing book, but like has stopping

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Speaker 1: and smelling the babies of like pregnancy and motherhood has

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Speaker 1: always been your jam?

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Speaker 2: So true? Sorry, No, I was barely an adult. Got married,

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Speaker 2: like just really. We met in September, got married in Ale.

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Speaker 2: This young man, this young man right here. We met

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Speaker 2: in a bar in New York. And so I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't even know what guy. We just like decided, okay,

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Speaker 2: let's get married. Got married, and three months later, Oops,

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Speaker 2: it's pregnant. Now I didn't for some reason, I didn't

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Speaker 2: see that coming. So we were completely unprepared. And I

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Speaker 2: went out to the books. Remember when there were bookstores

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Speaker 2: that sold books very very long time ago. So anyway,

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Speaker 2: iget no not target, okay, and it was. I bought

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Speaker 2: all three books that were available, and none of them

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Speaker 2: answered my question. So two hours before I went into

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Speaker 2: labor with Emma, I delivered a proposal for a book

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Speaker 2: that all I wanted was for a couple of parents

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Speaker 2: to sleep better at night than we just you know,

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Speaker 2: hold their hand, give them a hug. And I had

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Speaker 2: no idea what was about to happen?

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Speaker 4: How did you know though, like being your first child,

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Speaker 4: like during your pregnancy, were you doing a lot of

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Speaker 4: research or how did you come to.

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Speaker 2: Like, No, I knew nothing. I literally if you if

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Speaker 2: you had googled clueless, but of course there was no Google.

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Speaker 2: So that was a little Yeah, that was me. We

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Speaker 2: knew absolutely nothing and there was nobody to turn to

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Speaker 2: for advice, and so that I had to start from

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Speaker 2: scratch with the research and learn it all.

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Speaker 4: Is there anything now looking back on that book because

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Speaker 4: you did write it before you actually had a child?

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Speaker 2: Well, no, I for the proposal, yeah, propose. I just

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Speaker 2: knew that I wanted to do this. I didn't know

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Speaker 2: how to do it. I didn't know what would be

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Speaker 2: in it, Bunny, I knew it was necessary. Right, that

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Speaker 2: makes sense?

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Speaker 4: No, for sure, I'm just curious of like now as well.

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Speaker 2: It's it's because things have changed so much, so dramatically

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Speaker 2: since the first edition.

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Speaker 3: It's changed, right, Oh my god. Yeah, it's like double

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Speaker 3: the about of pages.

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Speaker 2: Right, I updated like a couple times a year. Wow,

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Speaker 2: because it's that important to say current. But I mean

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Speaker 2: the other thing is if you just look at well

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Speaker 2: don't look at the cover, the original cover, but it

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Speaker 2: was this woman in rocking chair with like the basket

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Speaker 2: of flowers and popery, and she looked miserable and anyway.

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Speaker 2: So but the point is that it has changed so much,

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Speaker 2: because pregnancy has changed so much, and how we are pregnant,

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Speaker 2: how we are empowered in a way that we weren't

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Speaker 2: in my pregnant days. And by the way, I didn't

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Speaker 2: get to show off my bump, which was spectacular, but

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Speaker 2: nobody ever got to see it because she had to

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Speaker 2: hide it under a polyester pop tent. Yeah, you could

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Speaker 2: sleep a family of four under there with your Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was really.

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Speaker 3: That was the norm, like everyone but know you're pregnant,

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Speaker 3: but don't.

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Speaker 2: Pregnant exactly, huh exactly. Remember back in the day they

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Speaker 2: called not my day, but before my day, they called

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Speaker 2: it the period of confinement. I did not know that

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Speaker 2: women had to be confined because they were pregnant, Like

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Speaker 2: you weren't supposed to be out doing anything or on

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Speaker 2: your feet or living.

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Speaker 4: You know, just like that's a showcase.

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, no, no, no, no no no. So it was

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Speaker 2: maybe the most fun time to be pregnant. But I've

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Speaker 2: gotten you know, I've had the opportunity now to experience

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Speaker 2: it through my daughter's eyes too, and through her beautiful

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Speaker 2: pumping close.

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Speaker 4: Only got the close and not the clothes of coming

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Speaker 4: a long way. I mean, even since I was pregnant,

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Speaker 4: the clothes and come a long way. I mean, the

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Speaker 4: only option really when I was shopping was the pea

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Speaker 4: in the pod and that was it, the p in

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Speaker 4: the pod. Now there's so many cute pregnancy brands. I'm like,

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Speaker 4: do I want to have a baby again? Just so

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Speaker 4: I can't?

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Speaker 2: I do? I do? I do?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, right, I do?

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Speaker 2: I do? I do. I loved being pregnant. I did.

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Speaker 2: I mean it would be hard giving up the red wine,

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Speaker 2: but just the whole idea of.

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Speaker 4: This, I mean, even that though, I mean there's so

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Speaker 4: many I mean for us, I mean we are cannabis users,

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Speaker 4: and I think even still back there's so many things

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Speaker 4: that have changed as far as like what you can

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Speaker 4: do when you're pregnant, probably a glass of red wine

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Speaker 4: and every now and then is you know, not a big.

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Speaker 3: Deal as it was like you know, well actually you ask.

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Speaker 3: I feel like then they were like drink a martini.

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Speaker 3: It's fine.

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Speaker 2: Oh, when Eric's parents, my mother in law, was pregnant,

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Speaker 2: you know, the only reason she didn't drink and smoke

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Speaker 2: the whole time was because she was thrown up for

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Speaker 2: nine months because she didn't know she was having twins.

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Speaker 2: But had she been feeling fine, she would have been

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Speaker 2: having the martinis everybody did.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that's really normal.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, babies, we're smaller.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, but they made it.

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Speaker 2: They made it. No, that's true. I mean it really

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Speaker 2: it depends who you ask when it comes to things

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Speaker 2: like wine, even you know, sushi, all those things are

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Speaker 2: you know, there's so many opinions on caffeine.

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Speaker 4: I definitely drank the coffee every single day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

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00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had sushi.

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Speaker 4: My doctor said it was fine. I was, like, I

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Speaker 4: really did, like besides the coffee, like I was super strict.

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Speaker 4: I was fucking terrified like everything that my doctor told

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Speaker 4: me to stay away from. I listened to a tea,

365
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Speaker 4: the coffee. Yeah, but you're you're coffee was fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, your doctor.

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00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 2: Did't say there's coffee was fine, and maybe not the

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Speaker 2: five shot.

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Speaker 4: I'm a latte drinker or regular, but.

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Speaker 2: Then you're getting calcium bonus.

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Speaker 4: It's all good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, No wonder sunk, but I was so

375
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Speaker 4: terrified in pregnancy, and I think a lot of people

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Speaker 4: think that once you get pregnant, it's like, really, isn't

377
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Speaker 4: about the mother at all. It's really about protecting the baby.

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Speaker 4: Must protect the wall.

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00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it should be about the mother a

380
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 2: lot more than it is. And that's a whole other story.

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00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:11,359
Speaker 2: I'm sure we'll get into that, but yeah, it is

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Speaker 2: very much about protecting the baby.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I didn't eat any cheeses.

384
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Speaker 2: I well, first of all, okay, ps who could have

385
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,440
Speaker 2: eaten all cheeses unless they weren't past pastorized?

386
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Speaker 4: I mean that's what I meant.

387
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,840
Speaker 2: I mean, but well, there's pasteurized breed.

388
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Speaker 4: What are people in France doing eating photoperiod?

389
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 2: Can I explain something? But can I explain? The ish

390
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 2: there is that you don't buy drugs like drug store

391
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:42,439
Speaker 2: or gas station sushi in Japan like your sushi is fresh.

392
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,520
Speaker 2: The only reason they tell you to avoid it is

393
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Speaker 2: because you don't want to get sick like bacteria. Now,

394
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:53,440
Speaker 2: the serious a different story. That's in the cheeseese super rare.

395
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 2: But I mean as far as like cold cuts in Germany,

396
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 2: whole different story than cold cuts here. They're more like

397
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 2: to be contaminated so same thing with sushi. So it's

398
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:09,880
Speaker 2: like an abundance of caution. But in terms of like sushi,

399
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 2: the only downside would be if you got food poisoning,

400
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,120
Speaker 2: and it sucks to have food posing when you're pregnant, yeah,

401
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 2: and get dehydrate, had to you know, get ivy foods.

402
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 2: And maybe it's America and you're pinking anyway.

403
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 4: America has all these rules, yet we have like the highest.

404
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 2: Yes exactly, Well, we have the rules, but we don't

405
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 2: have the care right And so a lot of women

406
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 2: don't even find out what the rules are because they

407
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 2: don't get the information because they're not empowered to have

408
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 2: that information in your hands. So that's the problem. Well,

409
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 2: there's a lot of problems in our country. That is

410
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 2: a big problem when.

411
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 1: You're writing this book, Like there are a lot of

412
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Speaker 1: problems with like childbirth and pregnancy in the States, like

413
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 1: and I think we would assume that there's not because

414
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,479
Speaker 1: it's oh, it's the United States.

415
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 2: We're smart, right, but American exceptionalism right.

416
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 3: Right, or the backs do everything great except birth.

417
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,160
Speaker 2: People and take care of them, take care of them

418
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 2: than that, we're.

419
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:16,359
Speaker 1: We have no ethics in our food and everything from

420
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Speaker 1: the time he wrote the book just out of pure

421
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 1: there's not being enough information available to you, and then

422
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 1: the MUF Now, right, how much has it like since

423
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 1: the book dropped and you've had this wild success. I'm

424
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 1: sure because you've learned a bunch of stuff in the process.

425
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 1: And I keep learning that I'm sure you weren't even

426
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 1: aware of because.

427
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 2: No, I keep learning every single day. I've learned from moms.

428
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 2: I'll probably learn something from you. Guys, I told you

429
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 2: that joke. Well that's true, that's true. That's true.

430
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 4: Okay, Well quickly we forget how that's true.

431
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 2: I filed it away. I'll pull it out one day.

432
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 1: But yeah, like it's a lot of information, and sometimes

433
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm better off not knowing some of it. No,

434
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,400
Speaker 1: I totally get that when I was pregnant, like I'm

435
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: a very hippie crunchy.

436
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna give a home birth. I'm gonna do

437
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 3: orgasmic birth and breathe through it. It's gonna be great too.

438
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,199
Speaker 2: No, I went to I mean, I'm a stuge fan

439
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 2: of orgasm. I'm not gonna lie, but maybe not. At

440
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 2: the same time, I just that's me.

441
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 3: I was hopeful it just didn't happen, because that shit hurts.

442
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I did all this research into all these

443
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: like crunchy hippie podcasts, I read a lot of like

444
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 1: all of Nime Gaskins books.

445
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,120
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm gonna go to Commune and give

446
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 3: births on the fire.

447
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: But like I didn't realize, and thank god I didn't

448
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 1: realize because I didn't really want to give birth in

449
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 1: the hospital that me as a black woman. I was

450
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: almost three times as high as like not leaving the

451
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 1: hospital with my baby. I had no idea of that,

452
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: And thank god, because I was already scared at the

453
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 1: hospital and I end up going to the hospital. If

454
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: I would have known that, there's no way I would

455
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,120
Speaker 1: have went. I'm like, fuck that, I'm going to be home,

456
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like I didn't even know that

457
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 1: that was fucking seven years ago.

458
00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:00,919
Speaker 2: Well yeah, so the reality is that's real reality for

459
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 2: black women. It's also reality for indigenous moms American Indian

460
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 2: and Alaska Natives so as well as moms living in

461
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 2: maternity care deserts, which are all over the United States.

462
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 2: So what's that It means you can't get care, there's

463
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 2: no hospital, there's no birthing center. There's no hospital that

464
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 2: does O B like even in Chicago, in the South

465
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 2: Side Chicago, Mattornity Terra is shut down. In a lot

466
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: of places in rural areas. That's crazy. So many hospitals

467
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 2: have stopped doing birth livery so you have to travel

468
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 2: so far to get care and in an emergency, that

469
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 2: puts you at great risk. And now, let's face it.

470
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 2: We've been to South Sudan and Somalian border, We've been everywhere,

471
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 2: and okay, you sort of it's not okay that happens there,

472
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 2: but you understand it to a certain extent. I don't

473
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 2: understand why in the United States, the wealthiest nation in

474
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: the world, we can't do a better job on maternal mortality,

475
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 2: morbidity of moms of not making it through childbirth or

476
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 2: dying postpartum because they their care lapses, their Medicaid lapses

477
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 2: at two months.

478
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 3: What what you see.

479
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 2: The doctor for the last time, it's six weeks. A

480
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 2: third of death happen after that because moms aren't getting

481
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 2: continued care. So that's not okay. We have to change that.

482
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 2: You know, you had information, whether you wanted to access

483
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 2: or not, you had it, but a lot of moms

484
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 2: don't get any and they're not listened to. The CDC

485
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 2: just did this great campaign called hashtag Hear Her, and

486
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 2: it's all based on the fact that many women are

487
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 2: not heard black moms, especially women of color, when you

488
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 2: speak up and you say this hurts, you know, I'm

489
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 2: having this symptom, and they say, oh, it's normal, stopping dramatic.

490
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 4: Oh, I mean I think of Serena Williams. Yeah, except

491
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 4: she was hemorrhaging and she told them something's not right,

492
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 4: and they pushed her aside until she was like, no,

493
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 4: someone needs to listen to me and think about how

494
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 4: many women of color, not just black, that that happens too.

495
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 4: It's just it's alarming. And we know our bodies. We

496
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 4: know when something does not feel right, even me, Like

497
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 4: I think about my experience and you know, I did

498
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 4: want to have a home birth. And then because I

499
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 4: was the first of all my friends to have children,

500
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 4: I told my friends that I told my family that

501
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 4: they all looked at me like I was fucking nuts.

502
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 4: My mom. I come from a family that's very like

503
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 4: you're sick, you go to the doctor, that's it. Even now,

504
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 4: they're still like you, what are you doing go to

505
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 4: the doctor.

506
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 2: Well, it's probably a good idea right now.

507
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, But you know when I did decide to because

508
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 4: I had of fear. I was telling my daughter's father

509
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 4: or we I invited a midwife to our house. And

510
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,199
Speaker 4: this is my last attempt at like proving to myself

511
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 4: that I was going to do this and then like

512
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 4: proving to him that, like we're doing this. But I

513
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 4: also had a lot of guilt because like, Okay, it's

514
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 4: not just my baby, it's his baby, and like I

515
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 4: want him to feel comfortable even though I'm the one

516
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 4: carrying it. And I remember this moment he was asked

517
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 4: the midwife like, so, what happens in an emergency? And

518
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 4: I was like fuck, And he was like, well, we

519
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 4: would go to the hospital. And he was like, well,

520
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,959
Speaker 4: why don't we just go to the hospital. And so

521
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 4: we went to the hospital. And that was my first

522
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 4: experience ever, Like I'd never laid in a hospital bed

523
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 4: ever in my life. I never had surgery ever in

524
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 4: my life, so kind of going to the hospital was

525
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,919
Speaker 4: already traumatic. I remember, like I had planned, I was

526
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 4: like a week late, so of course my doctor was

527
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 4: pushing me to nine days. Yeah, I was seven days.

528
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,679
Speaker 4: But my doctor was like, you must go. The baby's

529
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,199
Speaker 4: getting too big, like we have to induce you. And

530
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 4: so even now wishing like I didn't listen to her,

531
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 4: like I wish I would have just waited a little

532
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 4: bit longer. I went. I got the potocin. Throughout my pregnancy,

533
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 4: she had been like talking about sea sections a lot,

534
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 4: and I kept saying, like, I don't want to see section.

535
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 4: She's she's like, you know, all my babies were delivered

536
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 4: sea section. It was very sazy. You're obviously capable of

537
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 4: your healthy weight and you have a birth. I'm just saying.

538
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm just saying, what. So anyway, I get

539
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 4: the potocin. You know, I'm in labor for thirty six hours.

540
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 4: I end up. You know, once your water's broken for

541
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 4: that long, you're susceptible to infection. I get an infection.

542
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 4: Now I'm going in for an emergency. See section. Not

543
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 4: part of my birth plan at all. Never had a

544
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 4: major surgery in my life, never sat in the hospital

545
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,639
Speaker 4: ever except for death, like going to visit people who

546
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 4: are dying and just feeling like none of my like,

547
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 4: no one was listening to me, like I told her,

548
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 4: like I think we should wait, and she said, no,

549
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,439
Speaker 4: we shouldn't because her baby's getting too big. I delivered

550
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 4: my daughter, she was seven pounds. I'm like, people are

551
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 4: delivering eleven pounds.

552
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 2: Say yeah, those estimates are way off in lean Away,

553
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,120
Speaker 2: so that's not something you can take to the bank. Yeah,

554
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 2: thank Yeah.

555
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: It's just like I just feel like there's a lot

556
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: of pressure to just you know, especially as a first

557
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,199
Speaker 1: time mother like you. For me, like I felt like

558
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 1: I must do everything by the book because I am

559
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: putting my child at risk.

560
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 4: Like there's all this fear around birth, and like that

561
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 4: you don't actually matter. All that matters is this thing

562
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 4: that you're growing inside.

563
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: Right in your opinion, doesn't matter. You're not in a

564
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: medical school, did you go. I didn't think so, So

565
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: it's you are. You're gonna die if you don't do this.

566
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 4: I don't know what her experience is with other, you know,

567
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,359
Speaker 4: women or white women that she caters to. She's not

568
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 4: a black doctor, and that maybe she would have been

569
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 4: a little bit more like, Okay, let's wait, I could

570
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 4: we could argue that or whatever. But I did feel

571
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 4: like my needs were not listened to, and I was like,

572
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 4: then suddenly I'm in surgery.

573
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing. I mean, there's a good reason

574
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 2: why we have sea sections and why we have induction,

575
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 2: why we have all these interventions. It's to save lives

576
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 2: when necessary, but it's for use as necessary, and so

577
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 2: there's a fine line. And I don't know the circumstances,

578
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 2: but I have to tell you that black doctors are

579
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 2: less likely to perform sea sections on black women than

580
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 2: white doctors. I mean that's just a statistic and for

581
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 2: whatever reason. And black moms are more likely yeah, yeah,

582
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 2: and to have all kinds of complications. Now, what it's

583
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 2: correlated to, whether there's you know, a higher risk you know,

584
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: because of certain pre existing conditions whatever not for you. No, absolutely,

585
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,640
Speaker 2: So it's a balance because you want a healthy mom

586
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 2: and a healthy baby. And I you know, then on

587
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 2: the other extreme, when I go to Africa and we

588
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,880
Speaker 2: were in a clinic in South Sudan where a mom

589
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 2: walked in barefoot. She'd walked fourteen miles in labor.

590
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 3: Oh my God.

591
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 2: To get to this clinic so she could safely deliver

592
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 2: her baby. Now, this clinic had no infrastructure at all,

593
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 2: but the midwives were trained and they had clean hands,

594
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 2: and that's already a leap above what you could get

595
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 2: in your village. So there's extremes, but I feel there's

596
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: a need for balance with you know, any birth that

597
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: ends in a healthy mom and a healthy baby is success.

598
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: I didn't successfully say.

599
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 4: That, but you see, yeah.

600
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 2: And yours was. However, you know, could you have waited? Maybe?

601
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 2: I don't. Who knows what the indications were, whether you

602
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 2: had any reason to deliver sooner.

603
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 4: I think thinking about what Jamila said about saying that, like,

604
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 4: I didn't know that. You know, black women are four

605
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 4: times three to four times were likely to die in

606
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 4: birth than white women. I had no idea of that either.

607
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 4: And in my work, you know, in this space with

608
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,719
Speaker 4: good moms and you know, meeting women like you and

609
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 4: talking to birth workers and doulas and doctors, I do

610
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 4: feel like, reflecting back on my experience, I'm just like, huh,

611
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 4: I do feel like I wish I would have been

612
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 4: more knowledgeable yeah about that.

613
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: And then just being more empowered to say, you know what,

614
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: I want to wait longer, Like why is there a

615
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 1: rush and you're trying to get to are you trying

616
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: to get to vacation?

617
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 3: A lot of times doctors do do that.

618
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 1: Like there's studies that correlate c sections happening around lunchtime

619
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 1: and the time it's time.

620
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 2: O'clock out because people are ready to go home, and

621
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 2: there's definitely something to be said for that. I feel

622
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 2: like when possible, midwife, definitely have a duela. Those both

623
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 2: lower your risk for needing a sea section, because sometimes

624
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 2: you need a sea section and there's nothing to advocate

625
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: for you exactly. Yeah, and I believe every mom should

626
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 2: have a duel. We just passed the duel a resolution

627
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 2: that just recognizes the importance of them and hopefully we'll

628
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 2: get them covered by Medicaid.

629
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: We also work on much which is so amazing because.

630
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 2: You know, for a mom who can't afford to hire

631
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: a doula but will benefit so incredibly from having that advocate.

632
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 2: From having that physical and emotional support can make first

633
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 2: of all, lowers your risk of sea section, lowers your

634
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 2: risk of complicit ex floors your risk of postpartum depression.

635
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 2: So it's a small investment for.

636
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: Huge for a huge And like, if anyone's had a baby,

637
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: that hospital bill.

638
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: Is like twenty racks, twenty five thousand dollars.

639
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 1: I'm like Okay, America, you could throw like twenty five

640
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: hundred in for a doula.

641
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 2: Not even not even not right, But it's.

642
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: Just crazy, like the amount. First of all, it's so

643
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: over medicalized. Then it's so very expensive, like if you

644
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: don't have insurance, you're fucked. And just even to hear

645
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: I didn't even realize that they only cover you, you know,

646
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 1: two months after.

647
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 2: Giving states that have not had Medicaid expansion, which is

648
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 2: a lot of states, that's when it lapses. Two months

649
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 2: and until the states say, okay, moms matter in this state,

650
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 2: it won't change. California, of course, is great, like comparatively

651
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 2: amazing in terms of maternal health places like New Jersey

652
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 2: and New York, But you go to other states like Texas,

653
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 2: and the rates are so high and moms are not

654
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 2: getting care. And you're also talking about undocumented moms who

655
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 2: are afraid to get care or they don't can't afford it,

656
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 2: so they wait until they have a complication at eight

657
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 2: months and guess what that ends up costing more than

658
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 2: it would have just to give her prenatal care in

659
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: the first place. So you know, as far as I'm concerned,

660
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 2: if you know, legislators don't you know, see it from

661
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 2: a compassionate point of view where I want all moms,

662
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 2: these are my sisters, I want them all to be healthy.

663
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 2: Then you know realize it's economically it makes sense.

664
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 3: People are always talking about keegels. Do kegels tight and

665
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 3: you're pussy do kegels? But where are those muscles hiding?

666
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 3: And how do you exercise them? I don't know? And

667
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 3: so perfect with poor Moi, it's like the gym for

668
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 3: your pelvic floor.

669
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: I know you guys have heard us talk about poor Moi,

670
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: which is a device it helps not only stimulate you,

671
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 1: but also helps tighten and strengthen your pelvic floor. So

672
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 1: when I tell you your girl is tighter than a

673
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: virgin these days, it's all thanks to porm Wah.

674
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 4: I think that's a win win.

675
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: And if you're a mom that's given birth in any capacity,

676
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: then you know, sometimes you know.

677
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 4: A little extra tight to me.

678
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm so excited that porm waw is

679
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: offering our listeners an additional twenty five dollars off of

680
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Speaker 1: intensity when you go to Pouremoi dot com and enter

681
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 1: promo code GMBC at checkout. That's right, that's twenty five

682
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: dollars off on top of all ongoing promotions on their website.

683
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 1: When you go to poorm wa dot com and use

684
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 1: promo code GMBC at checkout credit card statements, debt can

685
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: be super overwhelming, so overwhelming, Like, honestly, I avoid them crippling.

686
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 4: I just need simple solutions. Start has been that it's

687
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 4: been so easy and fast to pay off my debt

688
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 4: with a personal loan. I did it all online in

689
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 4: five minutes.

690
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 1: It consolidates all of your credit cards and you can

691
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 1: just pay one credit card bill instead of having multiples.

692
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, whether you're consolidating high interest debt or

693
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 4: funding personal expenses. Over a half a million people have

694
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 4: used Upstart to get a simple, fixed monthly payment.

695
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,240
Speaker 1: That's amazing because sometimes it gives me anxiety to see

696
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: so many credit card bills, so just having one would

697
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: eliminate so much of my anxiety.

698
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 4: Can you tell our listeners too, I mean, you do

699
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 4: such amazing work, I mean all over the world with

700
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 4: your foundation, and can you tell them more about your

701
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 4: what to Expect foundation? And also bump Day. I'm really

702
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 4: excited today.

703
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yes, yeah, not surprisingly it's a Wednesday and bump.

704
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, today is bump Day, and I just want to

705
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 4: talk about your work and your foundation and how you

706
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 4: came to bump Day and what it means for us

707
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,879
Speaker 4: and you and all the moms out here.

708
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 2: So this is our seventh annual Bump Day and which

709
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 2: is very exciting, keeps getting bigger and bigger. And the

710
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 2: idea is to flood social media, especially Instagram, with beautiful bumps,

711
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 2: because we're all about celebrating beautiful bumps past and present.

712
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 2: I'm going to be personally dusting off my polarizers. Of

713
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,640
Speaker 2: the three pictures that I actually have pregnant, one there's

714
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 2: a little bit of pubic hair that I have to

715
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 2: because I was pulling my shirt up, so I have

716
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 2: to like tuck it down. But the idea is to

717
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 2: have fun but raise awareness about the urgent need for

718
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:48,320
Speaker 2: better maternal healthcare in the US, because motherhood is yeltimate's sisterhood,

719
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 2: and our sisters are at risk and we can't let

720
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 2: that stand. We have to advocate share messages about the

721
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 2: crisis of maternal mortality that here in the US at

722
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: this moment, because we have the highest rate of maternal

723
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 2: mortality in the developed world, not okay, not okay, not

724
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: even remotely okay, and we can change that, but we

725
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 2: have to all speak up.

726
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 4: Well, I'm really excited to be part of it. I

727
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,319
Speaker 4: can't wait to show off my bump. And if you

728
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 4: guys are listening, make sure that today is the day

729
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 4: show those bumps off. If you have any pregnant mamas

730
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 4: listening right now, go take a picture or you know,

731
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 4: I know you guys have probably photo shoots. I mean,

732
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,800
Speaker 4: we're in the age of social media exactly. Everyone people

733
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 4: love to post a bump photo. I mean I wish

734
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 4: I had more photos. I think even me, like, I

735
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 4: wasn't like one to like walk around with like a

736
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 4: crop top on and my like belly show.

737
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 2: Oh I would do that, right, I.

738
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 4: Mean I definitely showed my bump. It wasn't hiding it.

739
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 4: But I wasn't like boom like sports bron belly here I.

740
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 2: Am oh man to do Yeah, for sure.

741
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 1: I was dedicated to not buying a single maternity outfit.

742
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be pregnant very long, so I'm

743
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 1: not buying that shit.

744
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: That's right.

745
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 1: And then I was just squeezing my already small shit

746
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 1: over my big ass belly and you were gonna get

747
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: it all no matter what.

748
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 2: I love it.

749
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: But you know, even as empowered and like I was

750
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 1: in my pregnancy, I do wish. It's crazy how you

751
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 1: can think at one point you're empowered and you were

752
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: comfortable in it, and then you look back and there's

753
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: things that, like even with breastfeeding afterwards, Like I was

754
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: a breastfeeder and I breastfed for a long time, but

755
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: like I just remember some people are like, oh, you know,

756
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: go in the bathroom and then not feeling like ballsy

757
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 1: enough that day to be like no, And I was

758
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: like okay, like for me, and I thought that I

759
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,800
Speaker 1: was like all empowered in it, but I was looking recently.

760
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of pictures from me breastfeeding

761
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: because I was probably like this is too much to

762
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 1: take a picture, right, But now I'm like, I miss

763
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: it so much.

764
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 2: I miss it all these years later. I miss it

765
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 2: like crazy. And I was a person who actually whipped

766
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 2: them out back before it was cool to whip them.

767
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 3: I'm so proud of you.

768
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: I mean, I like tried to put a napkin on

769
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 2: me in a restaurant. But you know, Emma was always

770
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 2: like body exactly so I so to speak, how was.

771
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 3: Your husband with that at that time?

772
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 1: Like, is he advocating for you or was he like, oh, totally,

773
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 1: well he.

774
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 2: Was fond of them too. I mean, but it's like,

775
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 2: if you can show breast everywhere else, damn it, you

776
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 2: can share breast when you're feeding a baby, period, end

777
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,359
Speaker 2: of story. Not even negotiable.

778
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 1: There's so much sexualization of women's bodies, of bodies in general,

779
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 1: and it's it's crazy that, like we are so programmed

780
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: to sexualize every fucking thing, because I guess this is

781
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: America that even when it comes to something as natural

782
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: and as beautiful and it is like god given as birthing,

783
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,399
Speaker 1: and like enjoying the body that you're in, and like

784
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,760
Speaker 1: even like I think I got flagged on the Internet

785
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,279
Speaker 1: because I posted a picture like a beautiful my belly, but.

786
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 3: My nipples are showing. They were fucking huge. But the

787
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,239
Speaker 3: point is it wasn't sexual at all.

788
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 1: Why the fuck Instagram? But you take my beautiful picture

789
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 1: down at a beautiful couch.

790
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 3: It's just it's just it's an interesting thing.

791
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 1: And I feel like so many moms like if you're listening,

792
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: if you're pregnant, if you're about to get pregnant, if

793
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: you have, you know, having a second baby. There's so

794
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: many things like to be empowered in and information to

795
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: soak up and just like just to know where you

796
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 1: stand in your pregnancy and to like make sure your

797
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 1: partner is informed and you're informed when you go to

798
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,400
Speaker 1: the hospital. What you want, what you don't want, what

799
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: you're standing for. If someone told you to put your

800
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: tit away in the restaurant, tell the fuck off, you know, like,

801
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: there's I just I want to give you the unless

802
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 1: you're not breastfeeding, unless it's just like.

803
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 2: You're randomly pulling it out nice to me too. Yeah,

804
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 2: that's no, and that's okay, and it's a wardrobe malfunction

805
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: and I get that. But if you are breastfeeding and

806
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 2: this is true, all, oh for the world, what is

807
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 2: the matter with us?

808
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: And also if you're that weird ass fucking friend that's like, oh, hei,

809
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 1: do you put your boob away?

810
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: Fuck you?

811
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 3: Fuck you friend. You need to shut the fuck up.

812
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: And the next time you catch yourself about to tell

813
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: someone to put their tit away or put a blanket

814
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 1: over their baby's head or whatever fucking great advice you

815
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 1: think you're about to give a mom or like maybe

816
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: you should put those new hot milky boobs like away. No, no,

817
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 1: I earn these milky boobs and I earned belly, and

818
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: I can do whatever the fuck I want. And like,

819
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: even if it's your mother in law, you know, maybe

820
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: don't have to use those words because you might get divorced,

821
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,240
Speaker 1: but like you must stand up for yourself.

822
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 2: Well, and it's true with mother in laws and with mothers,

823
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 2: I mean, like they'll give you a lot of shit,

824
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 2: all kinds of things, and you just this is your

825
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 2: time to be the parent. It's not their turn anymore, right,

826
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 2: you wear the parent pants.

827
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's true, it's your time to Really, you make

828
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:41,320
Speaker 4: the rules.

829
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 2: It's you made the baby. You made the baby. You

830
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 2: made the baby, not them. And by the way, pregnancy

831
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 2: and new moms are not community property. I can't know

832
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: everybody thinks that meeting. No, No, they're not going to

833
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,320
Speaker 2: contribute to the raising of your child.

834
00:40:58,440 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 3: So their opinions.

835
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 2: Honestly, No, they don't get to tell you what to

836
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 2: name your baby. They don't get to tell you how

837
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 2: to feed your baby or how your baby. You know,

838
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,480
Speaker 2: should what schedule they should sleep on? Nothing? No, they

839
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: don't earn that.

840
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 1: I tell you I never got more motherfucking unsolicited advice

841
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: until I was a mom. And I'm telling you you've

842
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: got to start that shit in pregnancy. You got to

843
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: start putting your motherfucking foot down as soon as you

844
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 1: see two fucking lines on that stick your swollen foot.

845
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 2: Yes, you put that swollen foot down.

846
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 3: You have to like stand in it because people will try.

847
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 1: You and it will make you question yourself and question

848
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:36,240
Speaker 1: how your parents.

849
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 2: That's the thing. And I know you guys are not

850
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 2: like this, but there's so much on social media of

851
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 2: the mom judging, which is why when you pulled out

852
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,120
Speaker 2: the tarrot card about judging, I was like, no, no,

853
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 2: not that, no, but we can't. We have to support

854
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 2: each other. And you know, and there are like two

855
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 2: absolutes about being parents. Keep your child healthy and safe,

856
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 2: love your child unconditionally. Beyond that, keep it alive, keep

857
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 2: it alive, keep it happy. That's it.

858
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 4: And even on social media, there's a lot of judgment

859
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 4: from the crunchy moms to the non credown and I

860
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 4: think that I have to speak to that too, because

861
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,799
Speaker 4: there's women that was both ways. Yeah, I mean, it's

862
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 4: really easy for us to be like give home birth

863
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 4: and don't want don't want to that's if it would

864
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,720
Speaker 4: put you at high. Why are you giving them formula

865
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 4: and mother's milk?

866
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 2: And I'm like, okay it listen. Emma did not make milk.

867
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 2: She closet pumps eight hours a day and she would

868
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 2: make like this much milk and it was funny because

869
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 2: Lennox was loved it, so she would give it to

870
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 2: him first. I used to call it the appetitidizer. I

871
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 2: was taking literally one ounce and he loved it. And

872
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 2: that made her feel so guilty, so she would go

873
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 2: back to the closet and pump and pump and pump

874
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 2: until her nipples hanging on by a thread. And we

875
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 2: finally had an intervention and said, Emma, you can't continue

876
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 2: this like you know, And they did not bond until

877
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 2: she gave up the breast pump. She was so gung

878
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 2: ho and it was keeping her baby. Lennox hated the

879
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 2: sight of her because she would always try to shove

880
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 2: a breast in his mouth and there was nothing in it.

881
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,320
Speaker 2: And she tried every herb she tried every Electasian consultant,

882
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:19,760
Speaker 2: she tried cupping drugs from Canada, like she tried everything

883
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 2: and she couldn't make milk. So it's like, yes, breast

884
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 2: is bas but if you can't pressfeed or you choose

885
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:30,399
Speaker 2: not to, the most important ingredient in a feeding is love, right,

886
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 2: that's it. You provide that love. You provide everything a

887
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 2: baby needs. So that's what I'm saying.

888
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: I sucond this message good mom is not a place

889
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: for judging or what to expect.

890
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 4: I'm so excited to see all these bumps. I can't

891
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 4: wait to see all the bumps on the internet, all

892
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 4: the bumps that I've yet to see. I know we

893
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 4: have a lot of moms that are pregnant right now.

894
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 4: They're like, say, what is the assage? But it's hashtag.

895
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 2: Hashtag bump day. And then we have a social media

896
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:01,360
Speaker 2: toolkit you can share messages about the need for better

897
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 2: maternal health care. There's so many stats that are really

898
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 2: like the fact that you know, two zero point two

899
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 2: million moms live in a health care desert where they

900
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 2: can't get care.

901
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 4: I mean not okay, it's a lot.

902
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And most pregnancy complications that lead to death are preventable,

903
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: Like you can actually do something about it by spreading

904
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 2: awareness isn't that crazy.

905
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: There's things we could do about it, but we just

906
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,400
Speaker 1: haven't done it because you know, well do that last

907
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 1: well and a.

908
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 2: Lot of people don't know. They just don't know what

909
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 2: they don't know, and I'll give them the benefited I mean,

910
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:42,959
Speaker 2: but now you know. So, Yeah, we have to mom

911
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 2: mobilize around issues that are really important to all of us,

912
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 2: because if we don't do it, who's going to do

913
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 2: what I'm going to do it? Mom?

914
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:53,879
Speaker 3: Does matter? Yeah, we make the people. Do you want

915
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 3: more people will take care of us?

916
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:55,719
Speaker 4: Fun?

917
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 3: Do you want a population?

918
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,760
Speaker 2: Yeah? Well yeah, try to have a health health the future.

919
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 2: Without a healthy mom, it's not possible.

920
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 3: You'll have nothing.

921
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 2: You have nothing. You owe it to us, right, Okay, then.

922
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 4: We have a few little questions we wanted to ask

923
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 4: you before we head out of here with. So we

924
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:23,280
Speaker 4: were recently gifted this amazing game by may our podcast

925
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 4: coordinator who's sitting over here. The game is called We're

926
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,360
Speaker 4: Not Really Strangers. You guys have maybe seen us post

927
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 4: about it. Maybe you guys have heard about it because

928
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 4: it's all the rage on social media. But it's a

929
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 4: good way to have some really amazing questions in here.

930
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 4: That I think some people haven't been asked. I know

931
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,439
Speaker 4: I have never been asked tobo these questions.

932
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 1: This is a self reflection edition. Uh oh, so you've

933
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 1: got a self reflect tidy.

934
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 2: Okay, deep do I have to look.

935
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:49,760
Speaker 3: No questions?

936
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 2: Not in this light? Okay? Yes?

937
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 4: What have you always accepted as true that turned out

938
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 4: to be false?

939
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:02,760
Speaker 2: Okay? I'm not good at self. What if I always

940
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 2: I assume that everybody cared about moms and babies that

941
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 2: turned out not to be I assume that, Yeah, I don't. Honestly,

942
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 2: that's one I'm really bad at this. I'm good that.

943
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 3: You've taken the initiative to make people care.

944
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 2: Well, I'm trying starting the.

945
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:26,760
Speaker 3: Hey, you should care about moms and babies.

946
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:32,359
Speaker 1: I'm campaigned because trying done an amazing job. Okay, here's

947
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 1: another one. What's a non negotiable in my life?

948
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 2: Your life?

949
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 3: Hugs hugs same same girl. You gotta hug me own friends.

950
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 2: I have hugged my way through countries where nobody hucks,

951
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 2: no body hugs. I hug men in countries where men

952
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:56,959
Speaker 2: are not supposed to hug. I've gotten people from man

953
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 2: pats all the way through shaming them of course. But

954
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 2: the other day I was a Senate office and this

955
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 2: guy was giving me this like little Mandy candy, kind

956
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 2: of like cat and I was like, no, no, that's

957
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 2: not okay. I'm getting train news. So hugs, hugs, hugs. Well,

958
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 2: I was like, that's not okay, Like you don't hug

959
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 2: like this, It's not you know, it's like the Hollywood

960
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 2: air kids.

961
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 1: The people's face like like to touch them, uncomfortable to

962
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 1: get I've always.

963
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 2: I only had security called on me.

964
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 4: One security was called called security on you.

965
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:39,720
Speaker 2: I think almost No, it was it was five one woman,

966
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:45,399
Speaker 2: it was. It was on this it was no. I haven't. Oh,

967
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 2: I would not. That would be my one exception. That

968
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 2: would be. Yeah. It was on the set of the

969
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 2: What to Expect when You're Expecting movie. I don't know,

970
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 2: I thought it and if you did, I apologize. It

971
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 2: was embarrassing. You love it. So we were on the

972
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 2: set and I was hugging everybody, and I got to

973
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 2: what's his name, Dennis Quite and he was at the

974
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 2: you know the.

975
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 4: Is that Meg Ryan's ex husband? Yeah?

976
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 3: Okay, rude, he didn't he called security.

977
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,320
Speaker 2: Well, no, I was like, hi, I'm mighty, and everybody

978
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 2: else had been so awesome about it, and he was like,

979
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 2: he didn't actually call security, but I'm exaggerating little, but

980
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 2: he won't exactly.

981
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 4: Look Dennis get it together.

982
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 3: Yeah rude.

983
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,439
Speaker 2: So I'm just I wouldn't give him one rain check.

984
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 4: He seems like a hugger. I'm pissed.

985
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 3: Well, you'd be surprised he was my shunger that you

986
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 3: think is a hugger. He's an actor, Eric damn.

987
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 2: Yeah. And some people are weird about it.

988
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: So it's I mean, like minus COVID and all the

989
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: other you know, whatever, the cold that's gone crazy.

990
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 3: But people are so weird about human touch.

991
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 2: Okay, but yes, And I actually the first time I

992
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 2: went to the CDC and I met with the director

993
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 2: of the CDC, and everybody who knew I was a hugger.

994
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 2: They would take me into his office and saying, whatever

995
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 2: you do, do not hug him. Don't don't do it,

996
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 2: don't do it. I went right in, Like, I went

997
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 2: right in. I gave him a big old hug, and

998
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 2: I swear he would not let go, like he was

999
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 2: hugging me for the next like.

1000
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 4: Waiting for this hug.

1001
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,800
Speaker 2: And I said, you know, here's the thing. About hugs

1002
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: and public health, Like, I understand no handshaking, handshacking scross,

1003
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 2: but hugs, you're going like this, you're not. There's no

1004
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 2: swapping of any fluid. You don't keep fluids on your shoulder.

1005
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 2: So I feel it's so much more hygienic and it's

1006
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:47,800
Speaker 2: good for you.

1007
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,320
Speaker 1: I can only imagine the memos that like go before,

1008
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: like Heidi's agent.

1009
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:55,439
Speaker 3: Sends up, she's a hugger. Just morning everyone. She will

1010
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 3: touch everyone. Be aware.

1011
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 2: No, it depends on it depends on literally.

1012
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 3: You know a lot of important people.

1013
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I you know, Star General, I know

1014
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:10,720
Speaker 2: I do. Oh my god, slide it here. That photo.

1015
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 2: That photo. So that's when Eric or somebody told her.

1016
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,879
Speaker 2: She wrote what to expect when you're expecting, and that's her.

1017
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 2: You did not.

1018
00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:25,120
Speaker 3: Our face was to look at this, look at this

1019
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 3: hug an amazing.

1020
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:29,720
Speaker 2: But there's this well, first of all, I'm wearing heels,

1021
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 2: she's wearing flats, and I'm in her armpit. But but regardless,

1022
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 2: she is an amazing hugger. But that's her face saying literally,

1023
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 2: she was saying, you did not.

1024
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 4: I see it. That's your facing.

1025
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 3: Yes, I did.

1026
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 2: That's me, and that photo. She's she's saying, and I

1027
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 2: used to go through it every night, and she was

1028
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:52,360
Speaker 2: using the hand description.

1029
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 3: And everybody's read the book. I meant read the book,

1030
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,240
Speaker 3: including Michelle Obama.

1031
00:50:58,400 --> 00:50:59,719
Speaker 4: That's amazing you've made it.

1032
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 2: She's it's a really good hugger though.

1033
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 3: I have to say you're a good hugger too. You

1034
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 3: gave me a good hug. I was very pleased with that.

1035
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 3: I'll do Oh, I'm so excited and binding over our

1036
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 3: feet hugs.

1037
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, we crushing.

1038
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:13,919
Speaker 3: I love I love it, I love it here.

1039
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 4: This is my family. Now, well, why do you thank

1040
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 4: you so much for coming on the podcast.

1041
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 2: Thank you for coming to me.

1042
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, we came to you, and we'll come to

1043
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 4: your house.

1044
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:24,360
Speaker 2: So special.

1045
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 3: You're aggressive and we don't take no for an answer.

1046
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 2: I don't either, so yeah, I don't.

1047
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 3: Maya was like good news, I'm like perfect. Nobody was

1048
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:34,359
Speaker 3: going to email. I'm like, I'm going to do it.

1049
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that you joined us and shared your

1050
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 1: knowledge and shared energy with us in space, and thank

1051
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: you for all the work that you do. And we

1052
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: will be posting every fucking picture of our bump that

1053
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 1: we can find on it. Yeah today, Yeah, I hope

1054
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 1: you do too, tag what to expect when when expecting,

1055
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 1: and hashtag.

1056
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,840
Speaker 3: Bump day, happy bump day. All my beautiful mama's out there.

1057
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 2: Happy bump day, Happy healthy bump day.

1058
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 3: Happy healthy bump day. And don't forget to hump because

1059
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 3: it's also hump day.

1060
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, you can get the bump or not.

1061
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you don't have to get the bump every

1062
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,000
Speaker 2: time you hump. I'm just clarifying.

1063
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:13,919
Speaker 3: That you can pull out.

1064
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 2: Please don't rely on that, okay, or you.

1065
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 3: Can take better.

1066
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:19,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1067
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 3: I'm not a doctor, and I don't certify this message.

1068
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 2: We're gonna have a snort, I did.

1069
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 3: Where can our listeners find you?

1070
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:33,760
Speaker 2: At Heidi Markoff. All my social media is at Heidi Markoff.

1071
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 2: And of course there's at What to Expect and the

1072
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 2: What to Expect Project, which is the foundation, and there's

1073
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 2: a lot of things and what to expect. App wait,

1074
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 2: there's what to Expect podcasts, there's a lot of what

1075
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 2: to expect.

1076
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 4: Just google what to Expect It follow all of them

1077
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 4: for me.

1078
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And you know where to find us.

1079
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 1: We're Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices on Instagram and Good

1080
00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 1: Mom's Bad Choices everywhere else.

1081
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 3: Don't forget to read review this episode.

1082
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 4: Make sure to follow us on Twitter. You guys, we

1083
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 4: do have a Twitter. We tweet why you do? I do?

1084
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:09,959
Speaker 2: I mean I've gone on a little Twitter Titus. Yeah,

1085
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 2: it's a lot over there, but it is. But I

1086
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 2: for bumped ay, I'll do it.

1087
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 3: So I think we're good. We're bad girl, good mom.

1088
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 4: No, good mom, underscore bad girl. That's what it is.

1089
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 4: Oh well, we will tag all of the lik.

1090
00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 2: Like you're good and you make good choices. You just yeah,

1091
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 2: I have a feeling you do.

1092
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 4: The bad choices are not necessarily bad, they're just you know,

1093
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 4: some people might think that talking about sex is bad,

1094
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 4: but or saying.

1095
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 1: Penis on the tele, well, clearly I'm not one of

1096
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 1: those people.

1097
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 4: You are a good mom bad You are a good

1098
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 4: mom that makes bad choices and good choices. But we

1099
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 4: will link everything in this episode description. Don't you fret

1100
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 4: and we'll see you guys next week.

1101
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 2: Bye, my mos.

1102
00:53:49,239 --> 00:54:02,880
Speaker 5: So don't so. Then I saw him and he saw

1103
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 5: him the best a

1104
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 2: Qu