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Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.

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Speaker 2: Morning, everybody, It's DJ Envy Charlamagne de Guy. We are

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Speaker 2: to Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building. Indeed,

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Speaker 2: we have Nicole Levont.

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Speaker 3: Welcome, Thank you.

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Speaker 2: How are you feeling this morning?

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Speaker 3: I feel so happy to be in New York, honestly

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Speaker 3: because my parents just rolled in New York and met here,

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Speaker 3: and my mom grew up here. And I just feel

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Speaker 3: Clarence and Jackie everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I do.

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Speaker 3: I feel. I woke up this morning, I'm looking at

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Speaker 3: this city. I'm all right, Mom, all right, Dad, let's

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Speaker 3: do this.

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Speaker 1: Did you always have that connected with New York? Yes? Okay,

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Speaker 1: why because of the story.

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Speaker 3: Of yeah and just being here, and you know, I

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Speaker 3: was actually conceived in New York and then they moved

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Speaker 3: to La and yes, I'm an La girl, but I

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Speaker 3: always spent time here. Oh my cousins are here, so

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Speaker 3: Jamaica Queens and New Rochelle and you know, Harlow, I

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Speaker 3: got people all over in New Jersey, and so I

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Speaker 3: just love New York.

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Speaker 1: How do you know you was conceived it? That's not

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Speaker 1: a good one. That's not something mose kids. Did you

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Speaker 1: ask those ques.

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Speaker 3: I did the timeline. Okay, by the time you moved

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Speaker 3: to La. Okay, I was like, you were pregnant when

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Speaker 3: you moved Chela got you, you know. I was like, okay,

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Speaker 3: so I'm a New Yorker.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 4: This is Nicole Avon, the daughter of the legendary Clarence Avant,

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Speaker 4: the legendary of the legendary daughter of Jacqueline Avon, And

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Speaker 4: she wrote a book Think You'll be Happy. And you

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Speaker 4: know how I feel about your father. I've told you

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Speaker 4: that a million times. I got the opportunity to tell

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Speaker 4: mister Clarence himself he's one of my top four inspirations

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Speaker 4: ever in this entertainment business.

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Speaker 1: Like he was the guy.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for saying that. He really was. I mean,

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Speaker 3: he's stealth I've never seen I mean he was ninety

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Speaker 3: two when he passed, and that man going through his

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Speaker 3: whole life and documenting his life and looking at everything.

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Speaker 3: I said, you had a million opportunities to quit and

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Speaker 3: would have every reason to quit, and no one would

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Speaker 3: have ever judge you. And he looked at me like,

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Speaker 3: why would you. You don't quit, You don't get to quit.

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Speaker 3: You could pause, you could pivot, but no, like, your

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Speaker 3: life is your life. You don't know how long you're

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Speaker 3: going to be here. And his whole thing is like,

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Speaker 3: you come with a number and you end with a number,

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Speaker 3: So what are you going to do with your dash?

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Speaker 3: That was it, What are you going to do with

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Speaker 3: your life? And it wasn't not fame for him. His

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Speaker 3: whole thing is, you know, greatness is very different from

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Speaker 3: being famous, and a lot of people now the new

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Speaker 3: generations are, oh, if I'm famous, I'm famous, I'll be great. No,

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Speaker 3: you're great and you're worthy and you're valuable just because

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Speaker 3: you're alive. You don't have to have a title to

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Speaker 3: be great, you know, or worthy or important or significant,

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Speaker 3: you know. So that's what I'm feeling a lot that

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Speaker 3: that was his whole thing. Even when he was passing away,

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Speaker 3: and as you know, his last days with me, he

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Speaker 3: was you know, his last words basically were like, keep

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Speaker 3: your mind right, girl, keep your mind right. It's okay, daddy,

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Speaker 3: I will.

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Speaker 1: That's gonna be the name of a book, book keep.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, keep your mind right.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and with all his okay because this book is

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Speaker 4: thinking you'll be happy.

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Speaker 1: Let people know why that title is.

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Speaker 3: Yes, So I think you'll be happy moving through grief

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Speaker 3: with great grays and gratitude. This I was already writing

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Speaker 3: a book in twenty twenty after I did The Black

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Speaker 3: Out Father, and I thought, you know what, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to write a book maybe based on the themes of

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Speaker 3: The Black Got Father, which were I picked three themes grit, grayson, gratitude.

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Speaker 3: And then I'm writing it and a couple of drafts

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Speaker 3: and they weren't right and nothing was landing. And then

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Speaker 3: this tragedy, you know, my mom is killed during a

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Speaker 3: you know, a home invasion, and I'm like, oh God,

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Speaker 3: And I thought, well, I have this book that I

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Speaker 3: was writing. Well, I'm not going to I'm not putting

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Speaker 3: this out. How are you going to put it out?

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Speaker 3: A book on grit, grays and gratitude after this. But

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Speaker 3: my father was like, mm mmm, no, you don't. You

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Speaker 3: don't let anyone take your life. You don't let anyone

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Speaker 3: stop you from doing what you're supposed to be doing.

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Speaker 3: So I said, yeah, but Dad, it's called grit, grace,

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Speaker 3: and gratitude. And then think you'll be happy. Those were

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Speaker 3: the last words that my mom said to me at

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Speaker 3: eight o'clock that night. So we were texting about a

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Speaker 3: sweet potato pie, and she said, you know, because my

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Speaker 3: dad typical clearance. They came for Thanksgiving the week before that.

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Speaker 3: He took his leftovers and we didn't even get to

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Speaker 3: the pie that my mom brought for me. And she

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Speaker 3: was so proud that she brought me this great pie

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Speaker 3: and he took it home. So every day after Thanksgiving she'said,

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Speaker 3: come get your pie, Come get your pie. And I said, Mom,

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Speaker 3: you and this pie, it's okay. And then she texted

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Speaker 3: me that night at eight o'clock and we went back

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Speaker 3: and forth about the sweet potato pie and I said,

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Speaker 3: I'll come get it tomorrow. I'll think about it, I'll

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Speaker 3: come get it tomorrow. She said, okay, think you'll be happy.

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Speaker 3: Never saw her again, never heard from her again. And

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Speaker 3: so when that happened, I thought, you know what. And

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Speaker 3: then we looked at when I was showing my publisher

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Speaker 3: my team the last text, they were like, that's the

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Speaker 3: title of the book because your mom actually didn't just

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Speaker 3: say I think you'll be happy about a sweet potato pie.

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Speaker 3: You know, energetically and spiritually, that was your mantra to

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Speaker 3: go forward in life. That was your mantra to go

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Speaker 3: because my mom was a big believer on your words

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Speaker 3: and your actions and your thoughts will create your life.

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Speaker 3: It just can't change. We see proof of that every

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Speaker 3: single day. So I was like, right, I think you'll

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Speaker 3: be happy. Okay, okay, I'm gonna do this, like and

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Speaker 3: I'm going to move through my grief.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna ask how long did it take and

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Speaker 2: how difficult was it? Oh?

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Speaker 3: It was? So I started writing right after she. I

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Speaker 3: finished writing after she passed, so, you know, a year

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Speaker 3: and a half, two years all together, three years. And

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Speaker 3: it was difficult to write because it was reopening the wound.

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Speaker 3: Kind of felt like salt going back into the wound.

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Speaker 3: But it was all so the most cathartic thing I

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Speaker 3: could have ever done, because I was able to share

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Speaker 3: stories and remember stories about her. That did make me happy,

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Speaker 3: that did make me grateful that Jacqueline Avon jackie A,

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Speaker 3: you know what we used to call her, Jackie A,

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Speaker 3: was my mother. And she really took pride in raising

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Speaker 3: her children and supporting her family and loving her family.

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Speaker 3: And she loved history and all history, but especially my history.

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Speaker 3: She's like, you need to know who you are before

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Speaker 3: you leave this house every day, So She had this

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Speaker 3: thing and we called it the Great Wall. It was

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Speaker 3: letters and anything from Booker T. Washington to id B. Wells,

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Speaker 3: Harriet Tubman to George Washington, Carver and Hank Earon and

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Speaker 3: so and so. So She's like, so politics, you know, sports, entertainment, literature, art,

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Speaker 3: You're going to see the greats Josephine Baker. There was

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Speaker 3: not a day where I didn't walk out of my

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Speaker 3: house where I didn't look at Josephine or Ruby Bridges.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: My mom's whole point is like, so when you go

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Speaker 3: out in the world, you will understand who you come from,

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Speaker 3: what stock do you come from? And then so no

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Speaker 3: matter what comes against you, you'll know the truth of

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Speaker 3: you owe these people all life. You know, you owe people.

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Speaker 3: These people could have quit and could have taken their

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Speaker 3: own lives, and they fought, and here you.

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Speaker 1: Are doing this book.

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Speaker 4: Also had to be tough because you're honoring your mother

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Speaker 4: with this book. But then the late Great Clarence Avon

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Speaker 4: passed away. So how you've been navigating that?

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Speaker 3: You know, it was the last twenty months. So when

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Speaker 3: my mom when we left the hospital, so my mom,

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Speaker 3: you know, she was shot. She was shot in the back.

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Speaker 3: She made it to the hospital. She did not die

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Speaker 3: in her house. She made it to the hospital. She

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Speaker 3: you know, was in surgery. You know, they did what

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Speaker 3: they could, but she lost way too much blood. From

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Speaker 3: that moment, I looked at my father right when they

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Speaker 3: gave us the news, I said, Okay, you're coming home

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Speaker 3: with me. Let's just we were all shocked, drama, stress,

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Speaker 3: all that. I just said, come home with me. And

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Speaker 3: then for the last twenty months, I said, Okay, you're

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Speaker 3: gonna be my road dog. We're just gonna hang. We're

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Speaker 3: gonna be together. I'm not going to leave you. You're not

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Speaker 3: gonna leave me, and we're gonna get through this shit

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Speaker 3: as best as we can. I don't even know what that.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know what it looks like.

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Speaker 1: Daddy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, I was like, but we are

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Speaker 3: going to We're going to get through it. And he

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Speaker 3: would catch me sometimes he's like, get out of that

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Speaker 3: quicksand get out of that quicksand because I can see

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Speaker 3: you just spiraling. And he was so great because he

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Speaker 3: was still Clarence and he basically was like this is

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Speaker 3: I mean, some days he didn't even say killed. He

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Speaker 3: never even used that word he would say when Jackie

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Speaker 3: disappeared the day Jackie disappeared, because it was so you

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Speaker 3: know what, and but to have him for twenty months

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Speaker 3: living under my roof with my husband, and we just decided, Okay,

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Speaker 3: our intention with him is he's going to feel safe,

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Speaker 3: he's going to feel loved, and he's going to feel secure.

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Speaker 3: And it was the best twenty months I actually could

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Speaker 3: have ever had, because yes, I grew up with him,

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Speaker 3: but I left home at eighteen, never really came back home,

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Speaker 3: would spend time with him, but he was busy, Clarence

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Speaker 3: amount was doing things, and so I never really had

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Speaker 3: all his energy to myself anyway. And so now as

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Speaker 3: an older man and a wiser man and a calmer man,

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Speaker 3: I received so much more wisdom. And it was just

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Speaker 3: out of a tragedy that was the best thing that

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Speaker 3: could have happened, was that I got to live with

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Speaker 3: Clarence again.

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Speaker 4: Did you kind of feel like he was transitioning soon?

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Speaker 4: Because they always say when couples have been together that long.

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Speaker 3: I love that you asked that question. I swear to you.

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Speaker 3: The first three weeks I kept thinking, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: we probably have three weeks with him. Wow, we probably

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Speaker 3: have two months with him. Wow, because to your point,

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Speaker 3: all science shows, everybody shows like, oh, usually if its

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Speaker 3: spouse dies, especially at an older age, the next one

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Speaker 3: goes right after and within six months, and I thought,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, how am I gonna go? How are

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Speaker 3: we gonna do this? And then three months we'll go, by,

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Speaker 3: then another three months ago. By by the time we

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Speaker 3: got to nine months, I looked at him and I said,

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Speaker 3: he's Clarence Abon. I don't know what to tell you.

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Speaker 3: I said, now I understand why I call him the Godfather.

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Speaker 3: Like he he he. He would always say to me,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna live as long as I can, and when

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Speaker 3: it's time for me to go. He literally read the

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Speaker 3: New York Times obituary column every single day, and he'd

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Speaker 3: read about other people's lives. He loved it, and he

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Speaker 3: was like, I'm making sure I'm not in here. I'm

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Speaker 3: just making sure I'm not in here today. And then

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Speaker 3: I would say no. My teas him, and I said,

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Speaker 3: one day I go, Daddy, when you do go, you're

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Speaker 3: gonna have the whole page. He goes, Oh, Nicole, please,

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Speaker 3: they probably won't put me in there. I maybe I

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Speaker 3: have a little paragraph, and when he died, the New

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Speaker 3: York Times gave him the whole back age and I went,

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Speaker 3: there you go.

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Speaker 4: Now we know grief isn't linear. And now the thing

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Speaker 4: I love about your book is it feels like everything

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Speaker 4: your mother and father instilled and you helped you to

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Speaker 4: be able to navigate this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. And it's not linear. It's like

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Speaker 3: a rollercoaster. Grief is just some days you're good and

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Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I got this, and then a song

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Speaker 3: would come on the radio. I mean, my mom loved

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Speaker 3: the Spinners and she loved easy music. You know, she

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Speaker 3: loved the Commodorees and the Spinners and Al Green, any

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Speaker 3: of those guys came out on the radio. I was

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Speaker 3: just destroyed for those five minutes of that song. Bill

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Speaker 3: Withers would come on and I think of you know,

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Speaker 3: I think of my mom, and grief just it's waves.

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Speaker 3: But it also hits every single human being on this planet.

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Speaker 3: No one gets to escape grief. Grief is different for everybody.

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Speaker 3: But the thing that helped me be calm or calm

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Speaker 3: me down about it was when I got anxious, was

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Speaker 3: I'm not the only one who's grieving today. I'm not

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Speaker 3: the only one. There are mothers who are burying their

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Speaker 3: children around the world. There are mothers in our children's

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Speaker 3: hospital right who work in three jobs. There're a five

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Speaker 3: year old has leukemia, and that's grief. Your dog dies,

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Speaker 3: it's grief, yea, your grandparents, whatever it is, or sometimes

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Speaker 3: it's not even a death. You're fired from a job

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Speaker 3: that you loved and you gave so much of your

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Speaker 3: efforts and you were just don't know what happened. Grief

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Speaker 3: is hard, but it is you are able to move

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Speaker 3: through it. Now.

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Speaker 2: I want to talk forgiveness and faith, right, Yes, now,

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Speaker 2: you talk about that. You talk about that a lot

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Speaker 2: in the book, and that's very difficult for most people

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Speaker 2: to forgive, and especially with something like that, you kind

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Speaker 2: of lose a little bit of faith at first. Oh,

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Speaker 2: how did you get that faith back? If you ever

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Speaker 2: got it back, And let's talk about forgiveness.

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Speaker 3: Yes, good question. So my faith in that moment, It's

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Speaker 3: interesting when it happened, I walked back to my car,

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Speaker 3: Like Ted and my father left the hospital separately, I

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Speaker 3: had my own car and immediately, like my grandmother always

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Speaker 3: the first scripture that came to me, I am strong

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Speaker 3: in the Lord and in the power of the I

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Speaker 3: am strong in the Lord and in the power of

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Speaker 3: I just kept saying it over and over and over

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Speaker 3: again and then and then all of a sudden, I

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Speaker 3: was like, wait a minute, No, actually, no, I'm not

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Speaker 3: strong in the Lord? Like where where is everybody? Where

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Speaker 3: was anybody from my mom? You know? You definitely go there.

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Speaker 3: But then I snapped right back into it, like, no,

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Speaker 3: you know what faith isn't about. You can't just say

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Speaker 3: I have faith when everything is going right. Faith isn't

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Speaker 3: for when everything is going right. Faith is for when

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Speaker 3: everything is going wrong. Actually, it's easy to trust God

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Speaker 3: when everything's great right, It's very difficult to trust the

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Speaker 3: universe and the divine when things blow up. But people

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Speaker 3: have been doing this since the beginning of time. They

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Speaker 3: have kept their faith. And the only reason we're all

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Speaker 3: sitting here today is because people kept their faith in

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Speaker 3: God and planted seeds for us right to have freedom

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Speaker 3: to live the lives that we want to live while

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Speaker 3: they weren't living in freedom. So if they can do it,

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Speaker 3: and unfairness can come to them and trauma can come

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Speaker 3: to them over and over, physical, emotional, spiritual trauma, then

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Speaker 3: I'm going to have to kind of tap into that

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Speaker 3: energy of other people who've also gone through this and

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Speaker 3: make and I had just had to make a decision

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Speaker 3: to stay in faith, even though I didn't know, even

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Speaker 3: though I didn't feel like being in faith. I just

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Speaker 3: made a decision. I just came home and I said, Okay, God,

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Speaker 3: I don't understand any of this. I don't know what

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Speaker 3: to do with this. I don't know who to call.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what book to pick up. And then

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Speaker 3: it was, you know my scripture, you know what I say?

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Speaker 3: And the birds are going to wake up tomorrow, and

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Speaker 3: the sun is going to rise tomorrow, and the sun's

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Speaker 3: going to set tomorrow. So this is a part of life.

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Speaker 3: Death is a part of life. How we die, we

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Speaker 3: don't know. And then you know. And then in the

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Speaker 3: book I write TD Jakes and it's a true story.

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Speaker 3: I literally walked up in my room and I fell

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Speaker 3: to my knees, like, God, this is not happening. And

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Speaker 3: the phone rang and it's a no caller idea. I

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Speaker 3: don't think I'll hold on. I didn't know who it was.

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Speaker 3: I didn't I it was a detective or somebody, And

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Speaker 3: he said, is this Nicole and I said yes. He said,

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Speaker 3: this is Bishop TD Jakes. I said, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: well I just fell to my knees. He goes, he goes,

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Speaker 3: He goes, how are you holding up? I go, I

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Speaker 3: just fell down to my knees. He goes, well, then good,

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Speaker 3: We're going to pray. And he did his thing and

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Speaker 3: then he said, tell me why you're angry, but you're

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Speaker 3: angry about I go, well, obviously what I'm angry about.

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Speaker 3: I'm angry that someone did this. I'm angry about this.

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Speaker 3: I'm disappointed. And he said, okay, now are we going

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Speaker 3: to get this moment of five minutes gonna Are we

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Speaker 3: gonna focus on your mom's eighty one years of her

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Speaker 3: life and what she gave and what she did, or

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Speaker 3: are we going to give this full five minutes where

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Speaker 3: you're gonna go, because if you don't turn your mind quickly,

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Speaker 3: this is going to be a disaster. And I said,

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Speaker 3: I want to focus on the eighty one years. And

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Speaker 3: then the forgiveness part was the hardest, because you know,

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Speaker 3: forgiveness is a hard word, and it's a tricky word.

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Speaker 3: And I think a lot of people say I can

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Speaker 3: never forgive that because I've said that too, which means

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Speaker 3: I could never condone that. But forgiveness isn't condonement. It's

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Speaker 3: never ever ever condoning a bad behavior. Ever. I forgave

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Speaker 3: so that I could peace in my heart. I forgave

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Speaker 3: for myself. I was like, Okay, I give up the

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Speaker 3: anger and the frustration and the sadness and the disappointment.

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Speaker 3: I give it up. I give it back to God

337
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Speaker 3: because these burdens that he keeps saying, you know, give

338
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Speaker 3: me your burdens. Okay, okay, well here in mine because

339
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Speaker 3: I'm pissed off and I'm disappointed, and I'm so just

340
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Speaker 3: take all this and every day I had to do that.

341
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Speaker 3: But I definitely made sure I didn't care about this person.

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Speaker 3: I don't care about his name, I didn't care about

343
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Speaker 3: his past. I didn't care about I didn't care. I

344
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Speaker 3: was like, I'm not giving him if any space in

345
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Speaker 3: my brain or my heart because I don't have a

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Speaker 3: bitter heart. I never had a bitter heart. But if

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Speaker 3: you don't forgive, you will have a better heart. And again,

348
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Speaker 3: to anyone who's listening, it is not about even reconciliation.

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Speaker 3: I've forgiven people in my past, like friends who have

350
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Speaker 3: hurt me. I never reconciled with them.

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Speaker 1: I just forgave them.

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Speaker 3: That was it. It was like, I just don't I

353
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Speaker 3: don't even want to have I don't want to carry

354
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Speaker 3: any weight in my body or carry the poison of

355
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Speaker 3: unforgiveness because it's not gonna bring my mom back. It's

356
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Speaker 3: not gonna bring Jackie back.

357
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Speaker 1: I don't think forgiveness is linear either, though.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh it's not.

359
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Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no.

360
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Speaker 3: Forgiveness is like all up, oh no. It's not like

361
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Speaker 3: oh I forgive and it goes away. It's it's like

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Speaker 3: I said it to some recently, it's if you have

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Speaker 3: like a pure white wash cloth and it's dipped in tar, right,

364
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Speaker 3: and you got to go back with that wash cloth

365
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Speaker 3: and try to clean it off. It takes a long time.

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Speaker 3: That's forgiveness. Forgiveness is an everyday thing. I mean sometimes

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Speaker 3: I just universally, I'm like, I forgive everyone and everything.

368
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Speaker 3: Before I go to sleep, I forgive everyone and everything.

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Speaker 3: And if I've done anything to hurt anybody, I asked

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Speaker 3: that I am forgiven for everything that I have done,

371
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Speaker 3: consciously or unconsciously.

372
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Speaker 4: So what if you in your mind you be like

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Speaker 4: I forgive them, then you like, but fuck them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like God knows your.

375
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Speaker 3: Hot one hundred percent. I was like, I'm not. I'm

376
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Speaker 3: not trying to create any more karma at all. So

377
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Speaker 3: my whole thing is like, I want justice to be served.

378
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Speaker 3: That's that was my whole thing. I'm not trying to

379
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Speaker 3: get back in anybody or I want this to happen

380
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Speaker 3: to somebody's family. I'm not even about that. I'm not.

381
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 3: I don't justice be served. That's that's that's the piece

382
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:11,879
Speaker 3: that I'll have for me if I get that. But

383
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 3: forgiveness is not linear. You're right. Forgiveness is and it's hard.

384
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's easier than other times, but it's but but

385
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 3: it is throughout scripture and most scriptures throughout history because

386
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 3: of this reason, and it's for us, it's not for

387
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Speaker 3: the other person. And I think that's why forgiveness has

388
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 3: talked about in all the good books so much, because

389
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 3: it's you could be really bitter or you know, my

390
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,679
Speaker 3: friend's mom was a survivor of the Holocaust and she

391
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Speaker 3: said to her, the one thing you owe me, And

392
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Speaker 3: she was a child when she was in the Holocaust,

393
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Speaker 3: four or five, and she said, you owe me a

394
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Speaker 3: life that's what you owe me a life, you owe

395
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Speaker 3: you owe me a life, that's it. But you got

396
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Speaker 3: to give me a life because I survived so that

397
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Speaker 3: you could be here. And that always stuck with me

398
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 3: that you know, my grandmother was like that. My grandmother's

399
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 3: like we were born. It's you know, slavery, all of

400
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 3: us like this.

401
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,400
Speaker 1: You always a life.

402
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:10,639
Speaker 3: Sh'd go do something.

403
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 4: You know what I thought about in the book too,

404
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 4: because you talk about how you know, the person who

405
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 4: took your mother's life with somebody that your mother would

406
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 4: have helped.

407
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Speaker 1: So it made me wonder, I wonder what.

408
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Speaker 4: Miss Jackie would have wanted for this young man in

409
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Speaker 4: a situation like that.

410
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think miss Jackie definitely would for sure want

411
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 3: justice and for sure want to make sure that anybody

412
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,919
Speaker 3: like this right, anybody male, female, black, white, anybody with

413
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 3: any kind of energy that could be reckless or negative

414
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 3: or whatever, just please don't be in society, because she

415
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 3: would never want this to happen to anybody else. Surely

416
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 3: that that was the whole My whole thing was, I

417
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,200
Speaker 3: just don't want I just want justice to be served

418
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 3: so that this doesn't happen to if I can prevent

419
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 3: this to for happening to somebody else by this person.

420
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Speaker 3: Then that's how.

421
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,879
Speaker 1: I honor my mom.

422
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 3: That's it, And there was nothing else. Nothing about him

423
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,239
Speaker 3: is nothing I don't have. I don't want to have that.

424
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Speaker 3: I don't want to hate. And that was my first

425
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,360
Speaker 3: prayer when I got down on my knees. The first

426
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Speaker 3: thing I said was, God, do not let me hate

427
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Speaker 3: this person, because I can. I'm already there. I'm there,

428
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Speaker 3: and I don't want to. I don't want to hate anyone.

429
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 3: And that was not Jackie. She ain't hate anyone. She

430
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,920
Speaker 3: was in the inner city all the time. I'd be

431
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 3: in the back of the car, like, why are we

432
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 3: going to Watts again? You know, she said, because they

433
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 3: need us. She was around South Central all the time,

434
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 3: and she loved doing that anywhere anywhere in the world,

435
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 3: but especially Los Angeles. Like, you're going to share your blessings,

436
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 3: you should be grateful for your blessings, live out your blessings,

437
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 3: enjoy your blessings. But a lot of people missed the

438
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 3: second part, which is then also sir, and share your

439
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,439
Speaker 3: blessings with other people, so then it all goes around

440
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 3: so that it's not you're not hoarding. Oh this is

441
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 3: mine and I earned this, and you know, you go

442
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,159
Speaker 3: do your own thing. My mom was like, people had

443
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 3: to open doors for me, People open doors for your father.

444
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,679
Speaker 3: People open doors all the time. So she believed in

445
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,719
Speaker 3: a bridge and she believed, you know, we're all going

446
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 3: to cross this bridge, and then when we get to

447
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 3: the other side, we need to make sure that other

448
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,600
Speaker 3: people can cross.

449
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 2: Not a phrase, it is what it is.

450
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:35,239
Speaker 3: Break that down, Clarence. So one of his isms was,

451
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 3: it is what it is, now what are you going

452
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 3: to do about it? And that was Clarence's ways of acceptance.

453
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: So his whole thing was looking cool. I'm not trying

454
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 3: to be hard. It's not crass. It's not saying, oh,

455
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 3: it is what it is, Oh screw you. He was saying,

456
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 3: you have to at least own it and don't pretend

457
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 3: this shit didn't happen. It is what it is. So

458
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 3: whether it's I lost my job, my wife ran out

459
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 3: on me, I got in this car accident, whatever it is,

460
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 3: it is what it is, and then you own it

461
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 3: and then you can make a better decision once you

462
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 3: take accountability. It is what it is. Now what am

463
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 3: I going to do about it? So for him, for example,

464
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 3: he had Sussex records. He was super successful. He started

465
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 3: then putting his hands in everything, and he was stretched

466
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 3: so thinly. Bill Withers hated going to the radio station.

467
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 3: He owned a radio station, he owned, He got into

468
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 3: the oil business, he got into publishing, he got into

469
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 3: all these things. It was too much for him, and

470
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 3: he admitted, and I was a little arrogant. So everything crashed.

471
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 3: Bill left. He was like, I don't want to be

472
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 3: a part of this. I'm leaving Sussex. I'm going here.

473
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 3: This didn't happen all of a sudden, Sussex folded, radio station,

474
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 3: folded everything. He's in full debt, and he said, I

475
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 3: had to look at myself and say, it is what

476
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 3: it is. So I screwed up on this, this, this

477
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 3: and this. I'm in debt. Oh, the government, this the

478
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,479
Speaker 3: irs is in my office and da da da da dah.

479
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 3: And then he said, and I looked at myself in

480
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 3: the mirror, and I said, now what am I going

481
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 3: to do about it? And then he slowly but surely

482
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 3: started picking putting the pieces together. Jackie came in and

483
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 3: he was too. He was a little proud of, you know,

484
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 3: asking his friends for help. But my mom wasn't too proud,

485
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 3: so she would go drive around with me in the

486
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 3: back cars, in the back seats, sometimes going to his friends, saying,

487
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 3: Clarence doys everything for everybody. Where is somebody for Clarence.

488
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 3: He's had a bad break. He's been pulling you all

489
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 3: up this whole time. Where And Jerry Moss, who just

490
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 3: passed away, the founder of A and M Records. He

491
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 3: was in the M and A and M Records. He

492
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 3: and Herb Albert God bless them, and Joe Smith different times,

493
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 3: but they wrote they gave my parents seed money to

494
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 3: start over, and that's what they did. And then Taboo

495
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 3: Records started, and then and then the first band was

496
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 3: SOS Band and it was take your Time, do it Right,

497
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 3: And that was our comeback song in the Avon house,

498
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 3: and you know, me and my mom played it every day.

499
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 3: She was like, this is what I mean. You know,

500
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 3: if you if you own what it is and you

501
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 3: take accountability, you try at least have the intention to

502
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 3: start over. Look what happens now. We got the number

503
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 3: one song here and then Jimmy and Terry followed that,

504
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,639
Speaker 3: then La and Face followed that, and then it was

505
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 3: Bobby Brown, and I'll be sure all these people Wayney Houston.

506
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 3: Everything followed that. But if my dad had not owned

507
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,239
Speaker 3: it and owned his mistakes. And he said to me,

508
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: I said, what happened with the radio station? You had

509
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: the only black radio station on the West coast. He goes,

510
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 3: I was just arrogant. I didn't want to listen to

511
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 3: anybody in radio who knew better than I did. He said.

512
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 3: I just thought I'm clar and to say, but I'm

513
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 3: you know, I'm wealthy and successful. I'm living in Beverly Hills,

514
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 3: he goes, and then boom it all just wow crash,

515
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 3: you know. And so he always reminded me of of

516
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 3: you know, I'd call him if I had issues in

517
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 3: the Bahamas and the embassy. He was like, Nicole, Nicole,

518
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 3: you cannot make a great decision, which you need to

519
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 3: do right now if you do not accept what it

520
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 3: is right now. So you need to just say, okay, this,

521
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 3: this doesn't feel right, these people are doing this, this

522
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 3: is this. Then go into what are you gonna do

523
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 3: about it?

524
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,199
Speaker 1: And make a decision, explain it to people. What just

525
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: choosing to swim me not going down?

526
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 3: Oh, not going down with that as do Jackie shit

527
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 3: every time. Because so my mom was big on She

528
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 3: loved the idea of She's like, look, life is gonna

529
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 3: She was like, you know, she's such a philosopher. She's like, life,

530
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 3: it's like being in an ocean. Some days are going

531
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 3: to be really calm, some days are going to be

532
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,679
Speaker 3: rough seas. You never know what you're gonna get. We

533
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 3: think we do, we don't. And her whole point is,

534
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:58,239
Speaker 3: whatever wave comes at you, whatever whatever storm comes, you

535
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 3: must make a choice. You have to choose to swim.

536
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 3: Just don't go down with the ship. It happens to everybody.

537
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 3: You gotta choose to just swim. It's dark, it's cold,

538
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 3: you don't know how you're going to get there, she goes,

539
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 3: And maybe you don't make it, but at least choose

540
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 3: to try to swim. Don't go down with the ship.

541
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 3: Which is why that was the mantra in my head

542
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 3: of every time I wanted to go down with the ship.

543
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 3: After this, I wanted to go down a lot, and

544
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 3: I was going down a lot, and I would hear

545
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 3: my mom like, you know, take a nap, take a

546
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 3: nap and rest, but you got to get out there,

547
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 3: and you have to swim for me, you know, swim

548
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 3: for me, swim so that people remember me. Right, Like

549
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 3: my dad would say, you know, righte about Jackie, Like

550
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 3: I don't know what to write, he goes right about Jackie,

551
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 3: right about are a lot right about this? Like it

552
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 3: should be. He believed in legacy, you know, That's why

553
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 3: he did everything. What he did was he was trying

554
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:57,719
Speaker 3: to create legacy, whether it was Hank Aaron or you know,

555
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 3: Bill Withers or anybody like we're this is legacy to

556
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 3: be passed on to the next generations, like we all

557
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 3: survive and thrive on other people's legacy.

558
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 4: It's not because you said you never saw your mom

559
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 4: after the text, but in the book you speak about

560
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 4: seeing her.

561
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 3: Yes, crazy and beautiful. And I'm telling you it was.

562
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 3: And it was on Christmas Eve, and it was early morning,

563
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: and I had gotten up and I was like, oh god,

564
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 3: oh my god. And I thought, this is how are

565
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 3: we going to do Christmas? How are we going to

566
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 3: do Christmas? And I walked downstairs and I was I

567
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 3: found some ornaments that she had and I was putting

568
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 3: them on the tree and everything. And then I swear

569
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 3: to you, I felt this energy which made me turn around.

570
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 3: I go, mom, and she was like she was standing

571
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 3: right there, and then and then it was she was gone,

572
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 3: but she was with me, and I felt her, and

573
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 3: I felt her in the room, and then I was

574
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden, it was probably the

575
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: first time I really smiled in a couple of weeks,

576
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 3: like I felt a smile. I felt myself smile, and

577
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 3: then I knew for sure because she'd always say the

578
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 3: spirit is everlasting. She always told me that energy is

579
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 3: real and the spirit is everlasting, and I knew in

580
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 3: that moment. I said, oh, Mommy, okay, you're here and

581
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 3: you are everlasting. Okay, okay. And I remember looking at

582
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 3: a spider that I was. I would have usually killed

583
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 3: the spider. It was a big ass reader. My mom

584
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 3: always would take the paper, get the tissue, like talk

585
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 3: to the insect, and that it was Christmas Eve. I

586
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 3: go and in honor of you, I'm not gonna kill

587
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 3: this spider. But I felt her and I knew she

588
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 3: was there, and it was perfect that it was Christmas Eve.

589
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 3: And we had the best dinner that night with Clarence.

590
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 3: We poured him his wine, we played him his music

591
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 3: because you had to have Duke on. You had Duke Ellington,

592
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 3: Frank Sinatra, count Base, see Quincy Jones, and he remembered,

593
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 3: He's like, I used to go to Birdland and I

594
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 3: was here with Jackie. And then that's when we realized

595
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 3: how the healing was going to start for Clarence was, Oh,

596
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 3: we're going to play all this music from the sixties,

597
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,959
Speaker 3: the seventies, the eighties, but mostly the sixties. When he

598
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 3: met my mom, when he was in New York, when

599
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 3: he was running and he was learning from Joe and

600
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 3: he was just becoming Clarence. It was all that music

601
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 3: because as we all know, with music, it ignites, it

602
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 3: just reignites every memory. I mean, I could listen to

603
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 3: his song from the eighties. I could tell you what

604
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 3: I was wearing, what perfumer I was wearing, who I

605
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 3: had a crush on in high school, what car I

606
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 3: was in. I went to this football game when this

607
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 3: song was playing. I danced with this at the prom. Mean,

608
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 3: that's what music does. So I used music. That was

609
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 3: my tool to play it for Clarence every single day.

610
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 3: So breakfast we played Frank Sinatra, dinner, we were Duke Ellington,

611
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 3: you know. Then it was count Basie and Quincy Jones,

612
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 3: and it was just music transformed him.

613
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: That's right.

614
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 2: Was this book like a closure for you to get

615
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 2: your feelings out, to get everything out?

616
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. It was a lot of crying and

617
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 3: a lot of joy at the same time, because I

618
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 3: really did feel, Okay, I do believe that I do

619
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 3: believe that things are in divine I always pray for

620
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 3: divine order always, and I was like, I don't know

621
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 3: how this is divine, whatever it is, So this is

622
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 3: what I'm doing if this is how I'm honoring Jackie

623
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 3: in a book. First, and then I wanted to become

624
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 3: more like her. So I started doing the things that

625
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 3: she did, you know. I started reaching out to the

626
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 3: community more. I didn't just you know, write a check.

627
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 3: I was like, let me come down and see these

628
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: kids today. Let me go and deliver these books myself.

629
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 3: Let me go to this museum and see this exhibition.

630
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 3: What Jackie would have wanted. And then she started to

631
00:31:55,120 --> 00:32:00,239
Speaker 3: live within me in a different way, you know. And

632
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 3: so and now kind of with my dad, it's the same.

633
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 3: It's the same thing. I get now what he was

634
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 3: doing for Ali and everybody was like, we got to

635
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 3: put these people on maps so that nobody forgets. We

636
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 3: have to create our own legacy like everybody else does.

637
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 4: When you talk about legacy, and you know the way

638
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 4: you speak of the house you grew up like.

639
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: I can't remember what the encounter was. Was the encounter

640
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: in your house?

641
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 3: Yes?

642
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: I was at their house or in their house?

643
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh my oh I'm sorry my mom, yeah, my house.

644
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: Okay.

645
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 4: So with the house you grew up in, how do

646
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 4: you get rid of that? Do you keep it? I

647
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 4: can't sell it?

648
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 3: Like I know, I know, it's so funny. I in

649
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 3: the beginning of that house, I was like, hold on,

650
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 3: let me just hold on. And I went through a

651
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: lot of things with my dad, And of course my

652
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,479
Speaker 3: dad was like, get this to this museum, get this

653
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 3: to this Smithsonian, get this to the African American Museum.

654
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 3: I mean he was you know. Clarence was like, we didn't.

655
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 3: We didn't collect all this, you know. He said to me,

656
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 3: he goes, see, like I told you you don't take

657
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 3: shit with you. Look at all this. She's gone. Everything's here.

658
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be gone. Everything's here. So we went through

659
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 3: his wishes, went through my mom's wishes. Thank god, they

660
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 3: wrote everything down. They were ordered like that. And then

661
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, And then he's so funny you

662
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 3: say that. And then he looked at me and goes,

663
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 3: I go, Dad, so there's some people want to buy

664
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 3: the house. Don't sell this house, at least not while

665
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 3: I'm alive. Don't sell this house. He goes, this is

666
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: my house. He ain't taking my house. I ain't letting

667
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 3: nobody take my house. I pay for this house. This

668
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 3: is my house. I've been in Beverly Hills for over

669
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 3: fifty years in the same house. And what has come

670
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 3: through this house And then now when I look at it,

671
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 3: I'm like, every time I go there to talk about selling,

672
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 3: and I'm like, m I don't think so. I don't

673
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 3: think so I might use it as something else, like

674
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 3: it's still a Meca of greatness. And I'm telling you,

675
00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 3: I'm not just saying this. I'm not being delusional when

676
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 3: I tell you. And the energy there is so positive.

677
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,479
Speaker 3: It is the most powerful it's ever been. It's almost

678
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 3: like she was struck by lighting and that was it.

679
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 3: And now the energy there, the hummingbirds are everywhere. The energy,

680
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 3: the vibration is high, and there are when I look

681
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 3: at it, and I look at like every specific piece

682
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 3: of art, this black artist and Jacob Lawrence when Jacob

683
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:27,320
Speaker 3: was just starting, and my parents are like an Ernie Barnes.

684
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 3: Everybody but my parents like, we gotta support these black

685
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 3: artists and we gotta you know, and finding letters of

686
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 3: like James Baldwin and all these things. It's just I

687
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 3: don't know what I'm gonna do with that.

688
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 4: Hou.

689
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 3: It's so funny that you said that maybe that was

690
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 3: my dad giving you a signe. I'm not gonna sell it,

691
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 3: I know, I know, yeah, I know.

692
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:44,919
Speaker 1: They gotta get the book. We can't give the too much,

693
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: but I do. Got a couple more questions though.

694
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,800
Speaker 4: Did you ever feel imposta syndrome in any way because

695
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 4: you were Clarence and Jackie's daughter, like you were getting

696
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 4: opportunities because of them and that you.

697
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 3: I know, actually I didn't, only because this goes back

698
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 3: to being Jackie. My mom made sure that I worked

699
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 3: jobs since I was thirteen. Like ten, I was answering phones,

700
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 3: I mean all the time, but I was thirteen, fourteen,

701
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 3: I was you know, she had to back then, you

702
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 3: had to sign the paper to allow your child to

703
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 3: work at fourteen you know under California or whatever. I

704
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 3: was a hostess, I was a waitress. I sold shoes.

705
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 3: I worked at Bullocks. I was terrible at selling shoes

706
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 3: because I couldn't put the boots back in the box properly.

707
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 3: It's a very hard job. It's really it's particular. But

708
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 3: my mom's point was, you need to learn how to

709
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 3: work on your own and not in a fancy situation. So, yes,

710
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 3: you will have internships later in life, but you're gonna work,

711
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,479
Speaker 3: and you're gonna meet people that you will you would

712
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 3: have never met otherwise. And you're gonna understand how paycheck

713
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 3: to paycheck. You don't have to you. Yeah, you're collecting

714
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 3: and you get to put it in a savings account.

715
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 3: They don't this, and I need you to see this.

716
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 3: And she helped me with not having imposter syndrome also

717
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 3: because she would say to me, and Alex, you do

718
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:14,919
Speaker 3: you Your spirit came to do whatever it's here to do.

719
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 3: My spirit, my soul is here to do what it's

720
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 3: supposed to do. If you want to be a teacher, great,

721
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 3: If you want to be a psychologist, great. If you

722
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 3: want to be a journalist, which I wanted to do, great,

723
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 3: I'll help you go to school. But she never felt

724
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 3: they never said you must do what we did and

725
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 3: you must stand in our shoes. They were really great

726
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 3: at please go create your own life, please, like we

727
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 3: gave you life, so we don't know what your life is.

728
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 3: And sometimes doors would open, and then sometimes they wouldn't,

729
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 3: which was great also because then I would you know,

730
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 3: at eighteen nineteen, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'll get this

731
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 3: job for sure, and then I didn't, and I'm thinking, well,

732
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 3: wait a minute, wait a minute. Well I'm Clarence ave

733
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 3: moon staughter, I'm Jackie evemonstaughter. And then my mom said

734
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:03,399
Speaker 3: you no, no, nicol people get to say no. I mean,

735
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,279
Speaker 3: I've always told the story I got fired from a

736
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 3: job once and I said, can you believe they fired me?

737
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 3: Could you believe they fired me? She said, did they

738
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 3: fire you? Did you fire yourself? Did you fire yourself?

739
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 3: Because she knew, She says, you would call me all

740
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 3: the time on the big cell phones. You're the ones

741
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 3: that were this big, so you would call me like,

742
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 3: oh ten minutes, say to work, I hate this job.

743
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 3: My boss wus know me and she goes, And then

744
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 3: you were the first one out. You were the last

745
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 3: one to get there, so you fired yourself and you

746
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:34,800
Speaker 3: know so she helped me with finding my own passion

747
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 3: and reminded me and Alex that you guys can do

748
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 3: really whatever you want to do. You do not have

749
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 3: any pressure from us to feel it, to feel that

750
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 3: you have to fill our shoes. And my dad's like,

751
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 3: my shoes are filled, my feeter in them. He goesn't

752
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 3: get in your own shake because don't follow my shadow.

753
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 3: He's like, go make your own shadow. Stop standing behind me.

754
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,439
Speaker 1: What do you think the greatest lesson is you learned

755
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: from your mother? The ultimate one?

756
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 3: And oh there's so many that it's really simple. Jackie

757
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 3: Avont really believed in She loved history and the importance

758
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 3: of history and culture, different cultures, you know, learning about

759
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 3: different cultures. She hated cultural appropriation. She was like, it's

760
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 3: cultural appreciation. What is happening with people? You know what

761
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 3: I mean? Like, she loved that. But she gave me

762
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 3: this sense of a zest for life. She loved being alive.

763
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 3: She believed in hope, She believed in compassion, and she

764
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 3: lived a compassionate life. She lived a life of service,

765
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 3: and she lived a life of giving and kindness, And

766
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 3: the greatest lesson I got from her was use your

767
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 3: freedom wisely, use your thoughts, wisely, use your words wisely.

768
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 3: You can take you could. Really, we're the only creatures

769
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 3: on earth that we can release our past. Right, we

770
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 3: don't have to carry if we don't want to. You

771
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 3: could really try to release it, manage it something. But

772
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 3: we're the only creatures on the earth that actually have

773
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 3: an imagination that allows us to create the future that

774
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 3: we want. That was her greatest lesson, Like, do not

775
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 3: forget that the power within you is the same power

776
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 3: that creates worlds and stars and you know what I mean,

777
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 3: you're connected to the same thing. So that's what she

778
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 3: gave me. This understanding of life and understanding of living

779
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 3: a worthy life, that you know, live a significant life.

780
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 2: Is that what you want people to get out of

781
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:39,720
Speaker 2: his book by reading his book?

782
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 3: The main thing, Yeah, it's I want people to really

783
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 3: get that. You know, life can be hard, and all

784
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 3: of us go through trials and tribulations, but we always

785
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 3: have a choice on how we're going to deal with

786
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 3: those trials and tribulations. And my hope that when people

787
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 3: read the book, because it doesn't necessarily have to be

788
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 3: about grief. You know, the title is Think You'll Be Happy,

789
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,399
Speaker 3: So it is a positive book. But I hope they're

790
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 3: inspired and motivated and courage to live the best life

791
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 3: that they can and understand while they're doing that that

792
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 3: they are still they are significant and important and valuable,

793
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 3: regardless of what their title is. Regardless like, you could

794
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 3: still have a meaningful life and that life is really

795
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 3: worth living.

796
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 4: I just got through more questions. Yeah, what does Climax

797
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 4: North Carolina mean to you?

798
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,919
Speaker 3: Yes? And you know that you know what that means

799
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 3: to me that if you can come out of climax,

800
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 3: you could do anything. I mean, if you come out

801
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 3: of Climax North Carolina, you can do anything in the world.

802
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,240
Speaker 3: If you if your mind is open and you're prepared.

803
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 3: You have no idea what's going to happen, but you

804
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 3: can do anything.

805
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 4: Who in this industry do you think is close to

806
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 4: being the Black Godfather.

807
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 3: One? There's a few, you know, it's interesting. Reggie Hudlin

808
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 3: we did the celebration of life from my parents just

809
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 3: last Wednesday in LA and Reggie Hudn was great. He

810
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,799
Speaker 3: got up and he said, what Clarence Avon has taught

811
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 3: us the question that we should ask ourselves is what

812
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 3: is your assignment? Clarence Avon understood his assignment, and I

813
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:32,359
Speaker 3: think it's anybody who understands their assignment and anybody who

814
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 3: opens doors for people or makes connections for people, and

815
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 3: who is excited to see the magic that happens as

816
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,719
Speaker 3: opposed to what am I going to get out of this?

817
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 3: That's the next Clarence Avant. Yeah, yeah, no, go ahead.

818
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: Is there's somebody in front of the camera, behind the scenes.

819
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 1: It's two that come to my mind.

820
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,280
Speaker 3: Who comes to your mind?

821
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:53,479
Speaker 1: Tyler Ferry.

822
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I was just gonna say, Tyler, I was I'm

823
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 3: just gonna seeing them on Thursday. I was gonna say,

824
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 3: Tyler is probably the most the closest to my out

825
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 3: in his actions. Yes, because Tyler and look at his life. Yeah,

826
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 3: I mean, come on, if somebody had every right to quit,

827
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 3: Tyler Perry had every single right to quit life. He

828
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 3: had right, we would all understand how. I get why

829
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 3: he quit. I get why he just threw in the towel.

830
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 3: Tyler not only became one of the most successful black

831
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 3: man in America, one of them, not just that he

832
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 3: has is so focused and so on purpose about turning

833
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 3: around and going into every community and was like, if

834
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 3: you have the will, I have the way, come on

835
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 3: and I'm going to bring you and I'm going to

836
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 3: teach you. And he's disciplined Tyler, and he has disciples

837
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,360
Speaker 3: around him, right, and he's teaching always. But the thing

838
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 3: I love about Tyler Perry is that he wants to

839
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 3: see people succeed. He knows the law that there's enough

840
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 3: for there's more than enough for everybody, and that no

841
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 3: one can take from Tyler Perry or take from you,

842
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 3: or take from you or you or you anything that's

843
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,240
Speaker 3: meant for you, no one can take it anyway. So Tyler,

844
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 3: I think embodies the most of Clarence Saba because he

845
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 3: doesn't expect anything in return. He does it with this

846
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 3: this love. You know. Oprah's the same way, Like they

847
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 3: put it out there and then it's like, you know,

848
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 3: it's for grabs.

849
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 4: But Tyler Foreshore absolute, it'd be Tyler jay Z and

850
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 4: probably Oprah for me.

851
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, they're they're doing it. And by the way,

852
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,439
Speaker 3: look at all their Look where they all come from,

853
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 3: the best examples of it doesn't proof, doesn't matter where

854
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 3: you start, It matters where you finish doesn't matter. And

855
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 3: it is a journey, and all journeys are hard. By

856
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 3: the way, you've had hard time. We've all who who.

857
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 3: I don't know anyone on earth who hasn't had a

858
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 3: bump in the road or a hard journey. Some are

859
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 3: harder than others. I know that, but I think you

860
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 3: know having role models like that. And I'm working with

861
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 3: Tyler now. We're working on a film together called The

862
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 3: Six Triple Eight. It's gonna be out next year. I

863
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 3: wasn't supposed to be a plug, but I'm gonna plug it.

864
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 3: And I think Kerry Washington, she might have talked about it.

865
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 3: She was here, and it's great. But Tyler and I

866
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 3: wanted to keep legacy going. And this is a great

867
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,240
Speaker 3: American story that just happens to be about all female,

868
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,359
Speaker 3: all black battalion in the arm and what they did

869
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 3: and how they helped us win World War Two. I

870
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 3: was like, well, this is an important story, and I

871
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 3: call Tyler. I was like, you should do it, because

872
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:40,439
Speaker 3: Tyler gets it. Tyler understands the responsibility that we have.

873
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 3: It's not about just telling stories and being rich and

874
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 3: a fancy card, a big house. Tyler understands on a

875
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 3: very deep, soulful level, that these are ripple effects when

876
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 3: I'm gone, when all of us in this room are gone,

877
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 3: that whatever we put out there, it's gonna live, like

878
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 3: this book is gonna live.

879
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: Absolutely. My last question.

880
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 4: They always say, don't cry because it's over, Smile because

881
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 4: it happened.

882
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,919
Speaker 1: What have you done more of Oh?

883
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 3: I love that I laughed. I try to laugh a lot.

884
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 3: I watch a lot of comedy. The Comedians saved me.

885
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 3: I was watching Chappelle for the last twenty months. I've

886
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 3: never watched so many Netflix comedy specials, Sebastian Chappelle, Chris Rock, everybody.

887
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 3: The laughter really is the healing bomb. It really does

888
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 3: shift your energy. My heart would break open in different ways,

889
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 3: and I would go to sleep every night during my

890
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 3: trauma and my stress, I would watch comedy before I

891
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,959
Speaker 3: went to sleep. I needed to laugh before I laid

892
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 3: my head down on the pillow. Yeah wow, yeah.

893
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 1: Well the book. Pick it up. Think you'll be happy,

894
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 1: grief and gratitude. That's right. Thank you so much. I

895
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 1: appreciate it so much.

896
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 3: Happy to be here. Thank you.

897
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: Good morning. Wake that ass up Earth in the morning

898
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: at Breakfast Club

899
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 3: MHM