WEBVTT - Black People Can Karen Too 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:00.960 Speaks to the planet. 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:02.520 I go by the name of Charlamagne of God and 0:00:02.560 --> 0:00:04.920 guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:08.319 third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming 0:00:08.360 --> 0:00:11.360 back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:14.760 Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions, 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:17.560 Mandy B and Wheezy. Okay, we got the R and 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:20.319 B Money podcast with taking Jay Valentine. We got the 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:22.880 Woman of All podcasts with Saray Jay Roberts. We got 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:25.479 Good Moms, Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.440 her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast, with 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.200 more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts. 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.120 We're bringing the Black Effect Marketplace with black owned businesses, 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:37.360 plus the food truck court to keep you fed while 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:37.960 you visit us. 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:40.479 All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:43.320 Tap in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.440 dot Com Flash Podcast Festival. 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:49.040 Once upon a time, there was a good old traditional housewife. 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:52.360 She cleaned and cared for her children and the man 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:55.160 of the house, and of course she didn't talk back. 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:56.160 She was both. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:58.840 Obedient and soft by nature. She was a good woman 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:01.120 who always made choices. 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:05.559 We're Good Mom's Bad Choices to single moms who said 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:08.000 fuck the patriarchy, shared all their bad choices and. 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:10.200 Found out they were so bad after all. We're experts. 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:12.119 Overshares and your new besties. 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:14.840 Sit back and enjoy the ride. I can do it. 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:19.840 Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:21.679 I'm Erica and I'm Mela. 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:27.200 Happy Wednesday, book you, Happy hent Day, Beaches. It's a Wednesday. 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.360 It's a sunny day in California, and I don't know 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:33.160 where you're at, but you know today, I'm glad we 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:34.240 lived in We live in LA. 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:34.959 It's summer. 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:36.480 I don't know if you guys are familiar with the 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:41.559 seasons of Los Angeles, but it's winter, summer, fall, winter, summer. 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:43.759 And if you guys are in the LA area and 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:46.240 you have a podcast and you want to start a podcast, 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:48.120 make sure you check out our podcast studio. 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:49.720 It's called Good Good Media. You can check us out 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:50.400 on Instagram. 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:55.040 Go to Good Goodproductions dot com and book your podcast 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:56.160 session today. 0:01:56.480 --> 0:02:01.320 It's located in sunny California in Hollywood Hills. It has 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:05.520 beautiful palm tree views right across the street from Universal 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:10.240 City Walk or Universal Studios, and of course. 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:12.480 In and out we could record right here on this couch. 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:15.200 Of course you can't use this beautiful sign of ours, 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.519 but we will customize your set to your liking. 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:19.840 How are you. 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:23.880 I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing good. I'm feeling good. 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:26.240 You know, the sun is shining, so I can't complain. 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:30.760 I went hiking this morning, so you know, a little 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:34.720 vitamin D is always makes a girl feel good. 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:38.760 Yeah, I got some D this morning, so I feel 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:39.200 really good. 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.040 Speaking of D, I got some D. Although we've been 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:49.080 practicing semen retention in my home, not in my home. 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:53.160 In my home, we've been practicing semen retention, which I've 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:54.200 really had to work past. 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:59.280 My need for completion. Breeding kink, breedingkink. No, I don't know. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.280 There's no no no, because you don't he doesn't have 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:02.920 to be breathing. 0:03:04.080 --> 0:03:05.119 No, that's what it's called. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.280 It's called a breeding kink. When you like come inside you. 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:10.520 No, I just like, I just like come because it 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:13.440 feels completion. It feels like I've accomplished the end goal. 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.680 There's I don't have no breathing kink as of now. 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:18.880 It's completing for the men, So how is that going 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:19.120 for you? 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:19.239 Is? 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:22.520 He like, I think it's going great for him, So 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:23.919 not for me, it's for him. 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:26.560 So even if you are come to completion, you're still like, 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:27.560 like you kind of want. 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:27.840 To see it. 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:32.720 I mean, it's today, I did, today, I did today, Today, 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:34.000 I did. But I was the one that actually said 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:35.320 I don't think you should come because I knew had 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:37.160 a really long day and I was like, you probably 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:38.040 need all this energy. 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:41.240 Go go be great, And so he didn't, so he. 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:44.280 Sucked it back in and went about his day. Well 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:48.080 that's that's a well trained man. Orlando is not as 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:54.320 keen on wanting to attempt or master the Semen retention. 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:56.880 Although I think it's it's about to start to be 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:00.840 uh enforced, because we're gonna need all all the baby 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:02.880 making batter, So just save. 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:07.480 It up, not the batter, so make the cake. I 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:09.000 think he I think he's got the batter. 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:09.560 He's jamaking. 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:12.400 I lack in it, I know, but you know, I've 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:15.760 just been like I've been really I've been really sitting 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:20.560 on and meditating on not and this year, but apparently 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:22.400 a year and a half ago, I put a calendar 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:25.760 invite for March first to start making a baby just 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.760 to take out my IUD this week. This week, Oh wow, 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:31.719 I had pre arranged for myself to remove my ID 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:38.000 too soon, too soon pass self, but because the alert 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:39.840 was there, and it was put there a year and 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:42.520 a half ago. Now I'm kind of in the mindset like, damn, 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:46.560 if I am going to have a baby like at 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:49.320 this cycle in my life in the next twelve to 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:51.800 eighteen months, then I really need to hone in on 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:56.320 a bit getting rich, but be like really getting like 0:04:56.400 --> 0:04:58.960 the best of the best for this batter. So you know, 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:00.839 I'm really going to be like I'm when I probably 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:05.479 do like a metal d talks plastics, like just take 0:05:05.520 --> 0:05:07.680 all the shit out so that the baby won't come 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.440 in with any of the bullshit that I've polluted my 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:11.880 body with over the last thirty six years. So if 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:13.480 I'm going to do it, Ortlanta needs to do it. 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:15.880 So you need to start retaining that baby. 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.159 M Well, good luck with that. 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:21.599 I don't mean that, I mean about just the taking 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:23.840 the metals out of your body and all the things, 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:26.240 because I feel like it's like damn near fucking impossible 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:26.760 in America. 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.760 Well, the only reason I know that because oh boy 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:31.800 that we see with a cute baby in Costa Rica. 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:34.720 He told me that he prepared his wife's body for 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:35.320 their baby. 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:36.680 And I was like, what do you mean, Yeah, it's 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:37.560 easy in Costa Rica. 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:39.480 I'm no, they live both, they live in the States. 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:42.880 And I asked him of what kind of things were 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.320 you doing over there, master sense over here, and he 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:48.680 said metal de talks. I think he said, like hard 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.480 plastics or something. And I was just like, my plan 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:53.080 was to DM him and ask for more. 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:54.200 And more polyesters. 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:57.599 I don't I'm gonna be wearing linen for for eight months. 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:00.520 When you see me in just straight for our cottons 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:05.520 and linens, you know why I'm prepping my uterus. Okay, 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:08.320 at Orlando too, when you just we just saved the scrotum, 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:11.400 Can you guys please send us all of the eco 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.839 friendly underwears and oh, denims are okay, if it's one 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:17.839 hundred percent denim, you can wear denim. Okay, it sounds 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.640 rough on the balls, Okay, well he's gonna wear cotton underwear. 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:23.000 But anyway, when you see me in Orlando walking around 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.919 like a fucking healing couple in all the whites and linens. 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.880 This is why we're preparing our bodies for the sun. 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:30.839 I love it. That's important. 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:33.159 And you know, someone told me that you could like 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:37.080 plan for a genius baby babe, what you eat before 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:38.840 you get pregnant. I mean, even though it's in the 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:41.880 I know, it's like a It takes me a slow loaner, 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:45.080 a slow learner. So I'm gonna have to start very 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:48.440 early on practicing discipline. 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:50.400 I mean, it's st a lot of it's it really 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:52.840 requires a lot of sacrifice and discipline. 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:53.560 I know. 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.040 That's all I have to practice now, Yeah, before it 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:59.800 even takes place. So yeah, then you did raking on 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:02.159 me in Costa Rica and you said you felt a 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:05.240 lot of male energy in my womb area. So that 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:09.000 was very interesting confirming that I need to detox my 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:09.520 whole body. 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:13.240 Got to start sometime when you can start, Because you've 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:15.400 been talking about going on a fast and juicing for 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:16.040 five years. 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:19.200 I don't know, haven't been a fast. I need to 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:20.280 eat salads or something. 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:22.000 Well, you are going on a fast, that would be 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:22.440 a fast. 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:25.280 Detoxing the metals, the heavy metals. 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:25.960 First step. 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.800 I need to DM that man who has the remedies 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.200 he's probably gonna make me pay him. But they just 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:35.240 do some research. How was your d this morning? 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:42.040 It was great, top notch good, ten stars, frost to 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.680 two thumbs up. It's good. 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:48.560 Happy International Women's Month. 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:54.000 Oh it is, it's it's no, it's International Women's Month. 0:07:54.040 --> 0:07:57.840 It's International Women's History Month. I don't know if there's 0:07:57.840 --> 0:07:59.880 any international in it. Actually, I think it's just women's history. 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.760 I think it's history Women's History Month. I just looked 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.320 it up. But you know, the last five years we've 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:10.560 made up like four thousand new new holidays that don't exist. 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:14.840 Well more importantly, Happy seven year anniversary. 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.760 It's a man of verse seven. 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:19.400 What does number seven mean? I feel like that's a 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:21.640 really important number. I think that's true. I think you're right. 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:23.800 Seven is like a lucky number. Maybe this is the year. 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.880 I mean, I know every year has been a level up, 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:29.640 but year seven, it really genuinely feels like something big 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.840 is about to happen. I feel like I'm on like 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:37.319 the brink of the next a huge leap in Good Moms. 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:39.680 Seven and numera. 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.240 Why are they Why do they keep trying to put Roman? 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:46.440 No one asked for Roman seven? The number seven is 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:50.800 considered to be a mysterious and spiritual number in association 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:54.400 with wisdom, intuition, and creativity. People with strong connection to 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:58.680 the number seven are said to be insightful, introspective, and intellectual. 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:04.800 So that's us, that's us into intuitive, intellectual, smart, hell 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.360 smart as hell number seven experts this is the year 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:10.120 we level up. I can't believe we've been doing this 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:11.920 for seven motherfucking years. 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:16.480 I know I can, actually, because my phone will make 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.480 me stop remembering with all the reminders of all the 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:22.480 years this year, literally half of the reminders that I 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:24.680 get in my phone every day when it's like on 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.640 this year five years ago, like bitch's you, and every 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:31.240 single year I'm like, we go together, Like every year 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:34.079 it's you were Iri, I'm like, okay, we go together. 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:37.800 Tell the world we go together. Oh my god. Oh well, 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.160 I have some apple cider here. Oh my god. Look 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:41.599 we're starting our health journey. 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:44.440 Right now, sorry, our house journey because no champagne because 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:54.080 I'm detaxing my womb. Congratulations, thank you on doing something 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:55.480 consistently for seven years. 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:59.800 I can't believe it. I've talked. How many episodes is 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:00.880 in every year? 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:08.400 Like almost fifty we've maybe taken two weeks off what's 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:09.720 fifty times. 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:13.280 Over three hundred fifty times seven we drank it before 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:18.280 because Okay, cheers, Cheers to more years, Cheers to more success, 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:25.439 Cheers to prioritizing ourselves, our motherhood, bringing women closer to themselves, 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:32.960 unashaming the women, and healing ourselves throughout this process. Committing 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:35.719 to sitting in front of this mic and sharing our stories, 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:39.720 good bad, and doing it with grace. 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.480 It feels really nice to be sitting in our studio. 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:49.640 Yeah sign. We've started in our in my dining room. 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.319 For those who are just listening and just joining good 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:53.439 mom's bad choices, We've come a long way, and I 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:55.120 want to encourage you to just start from the very 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:59.160 fucking beginning. Our first episode Sex, Apps and Kids was 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:01.720 sitting in my dining room in my old house. 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.080 I mean, I would say about two hundred of this 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:06.080 of the three hundred plus episodes we have. 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:07.520 We're sitting in her living. 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:11.240 Room, in our dining room, and we like dreamed of 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:13.960 having a neon sign have you seen really dreamed? 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:16.480 We actually had one, but it was like remember like 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:20.320 it wasn't no, it did turn on, it. 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.240 Wasn't a neon bitch. It was just like those those letters, 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.000 those plastic leve It had lights. 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:25.480 That's more bid had lights. 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:28.240 Don't downplay our lights. I don't downplay our sign. But 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.880 eventually it just burnt out and we never ordered another one. 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:33.200 It worked for what it worked for. It's in a 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:37.240 lot of photographs. Damn, man, If someone would have told 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:42.160 me seven years ago when we started that journey, you know, 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.320 seven years from now, you're going to be sitting in 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:49.120 your own studio in Hollywood Hills with your Neon sign, 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:52.840 with your best with your book behind you, completing sitting 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:57.600 on fourteen fucking retreats, and a whole lot of other shit, 0:11:57.760 --> 0:11:59.880 I would have been like, no, I mean I would 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:02.559 have and like, I know, but it really feels good 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.080 to be to to bask in it, to be with 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:10.480 a major network, to have done two tours, to yeah, 0:12:10.520 --> 0:12:12.400 like do it all with my bestie. 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:16.480 We worked our ass off. Women are the shit we like, 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:18.839 and we did it all while being moms, while being 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:20.160 single fucking moms. 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:22.520 We did this shit going through a lot of changes, 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.360 a lot of transitions. 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.560 I just remember, like sitting I had this vivid memory 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:32.040 of us at Niche's house, and us with our laptops 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:34.360 while everyone was hanging out and we were like trying 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:36.199 to like edit an episode or get it up, and 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:38.240 like everyone was like, what the fuck are you guys doing? 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:40.400 Like why are you Like Eric and Jamila are always working, 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:43.680 Like we brought our computers everywhere, like at the party, 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:46.679 damn near at the club, like trying to like get 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:48.679 the episode up, edit the things, because we were so 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.440 fucking passionate about what we're about what we were doing. 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:53.640 I remember that, but I think it was we're outside. 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:55.600 It was you know what we were We were trying 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:58.960 to complete our book proposal, and we could not We 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:02.160 couldn't get the introdue. We could not figure out what 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:04.520 the intro, like the first line would be. And now 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.000 it's something really good. I'm gonna read it. 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:07.520 There you go. 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.319 And if you guys haven't checked out our book, it's 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:13.440 called A Good Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices. 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:15.360 You can get it on Amazon. 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.520 Or not or wherever you get or maybe not actually, 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.880 or just google it and buy it at a store 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:21.840 that you feel comfortable with. 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:24.920 Get it's everywhere, but you can get Barnes and Noble. 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.120 But this is the line that we wrote in our 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:30.360 friend's backyard during a party. And I remember this very 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.160 very vividly. We're probably writing this and getting an episode 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.400 out because we always have everything we do we have 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:40.640 to do simultaneously while always getting an episode out. But 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:42.400 this was it, and I remember thinking, oh my. 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.559 Gosh, this is it, This is it. This is the line. 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:50.040 Two moms walk into a bar, one desperately seeking mommy friends, 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:53.160 the other on the brink of a breakup, both with 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:58.679 tequila in hand. Drops Mike, you we found love by Rihanna. 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:02.240 That's how we How Jamila and Erica met seven years 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:05.600 ago as new moms. Did they misstype this? It's about 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:06.160 two years ago? 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:07.679 Is this? God? 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:10.240 So it was because we started as podcast seven years 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.360 We started our podcast seven years What we met? 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.400 Oh before that? Oh wow? 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:18.280 Okay, that's how we Jamila and Erica met seven years 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:21.040 ago as new moms finding our way. We jumped into 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:24.120 motherhood from different places, but with the same goal, get married, 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:28.360 break generational curses, and live half happily ever after. Of course, 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:31.040 this being real life and all things didn't quite turn 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:34.240 out that way. Warning, this is not your typical mommy 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:37.040 how to guide in the pages that follow your help 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:39.160 you will hear both of our voices and the stories 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:41.120 that led us to being good moms who embrace their 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:44.840 bad choices. These choices and our friendship have been monumental 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:47.560 to our growth and healing as women and evolution as 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:51.440 modern day mothers. Through sharing on our podcast radically honest 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:55.320 stories about topics arranging from birth and sex to abuse 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:58.120 and starting over, we have unlocked the cheat code to 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:03.200 combating shame, guilt, and the toxic motherhood complex. But now 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:07.200 allow us to tell you how it all begun. Oh, 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:09.360 that was what we wrote. I don't know if it 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:11.240 was the whole thing with that first paragraph, two moms 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:11.840 walking to a bar. 0:15:12.200 --> 0:15:15.560 And we thought we went crazy with that one. We 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:21.240 were like, oh and we did. 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:22.640 We really killed it with that, because that was the 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:24.320 truth for those of you who are just joining us. 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:28.480 Erica and I met early on in our motherhood. I 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.880 think Lunda was like six months five months. Iri was 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:37.400 like three, And I mean Erica cornered me in a bar. 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:39.080 I was there with my baby daddy. I'll never forget. 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.560 And I had seen her on the internet and. 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:43.960 She was like, you have a baby, right, It won't 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:45.360 even know if it was super friendly it was just like, 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:46.320 you have a baby, right. 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:49.080 To the point. 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.840 I do have a baby. She's like okay, well me too. 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:55.680 Did you want to get the girls together? We should 0:15:55.680 --> 0:15:57.480 get them together? And I was like okay. And it 0:15:57.600 --> 0:15:59.600 was just like is this high school? I haven't made 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:01.360 a new friend in fucking years and I didn't know 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.320 it was coming. And I was just like i'd seen 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:06.160 her on the internet. She was getting engaged. She looked 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:08.440 like she was doing that so perfectly and so right. 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:10.280 She had a fat ring. I was broke as hell. 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:13.480 I was miserable, and she was trying to be my friend. 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:16.160 And I was like, hell, yeah, I'm coming over on Monday, bitch. 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.000 And my baby daddy tried to prevent me from going. 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:21.520 He tried to talk shit. He would try to act 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:23.400 like he knew you, like, oh yeah, I remember her, 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.360 Like my baby daddy used to do this thing where 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:29.320 he made every woman a whore, a whore, like maybe 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:30.920 he fucked her. Like he always try to confuse me 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:31.360 a little bit. 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:33.120 Even on TV. He'd be like, oh I know her, 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:34.200 and like be vague. 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:37.800 Yeah, it'd be so vague, like Holly Berry. It'd be 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:42.400 like Megan Good, like what and he'd be like, oh, yeah, 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:46.920 you know she used to get around okay, shut oh 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:50.880 my goodness. But even that hangout with our kids, they 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:54.680 could barely lift their heads because they were infants. And 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.280 that's pretending like it was a play date, even though 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:57.840 it was clearly a playdate for us. 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:00.600 Yeah it was. It was. 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.000 People always ask us like, why why did you start 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:05.680 your podcast or how did you start it? 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:07.680 And I was like, bitch of god, I don't even 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:08.200 know why. 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:11.480 I have no idea because podcasting seven years ago is 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:12.480 not podcasting now. 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:13.720 There was literally no one. 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:16.720 There were no cool podcasts honestly, like maybe The Read 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:21.520 and Morbal Decisions and that's about it. It was very white, 0:17:21.680 --> 0:17:23.840 very nerdy, very murder mystery. 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:24.560 I know. 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:25.919 That's why even when you asked me to do it, 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:26.440 I was like, I don't know. 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:27.920 You don't even know what a podcast was, because most 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:30.400 people didn't know what. I was, just like a radio whatever. 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:32.679 I was just so happy to do something with anyone 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:35.240 that was outside of what I was doing. 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:37.800 I was just like, yeah, I'm feeling bored. I feel 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:38.679 like I need a outlet. 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:41.560 Well, thank you for saying yes, thank you for inviting 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:44.359 me on this journey. And thank you to God into 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:49.479 our entity j America for just taking the motherfucking wheel 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:52.880 and really saving us on a lot of different like 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:58.439 saving us just continuously like showing us ourselves. This journey 0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:04.920 has really been the most like propelled into my intuition, 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:09.399 into magic, into like understanding that my purpose, and to 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:12.760 just trusting the process every fucking step of the way. 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:16.439 Like just really this has been like a cheat sheet 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.440 to when you follow yourself and you follow your gut 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:21.000 like God follows. 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:24.160 I mean I think that for me too. 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:29.119 And also just like the sisterhood, like how important sisterhood 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:31.800 is and how it's continued it's continued to unfold in 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.119 my life, how women have continued to show up for 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:37.399 me once I chose and said, okay, yes I'm going 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.800 to trust women. And I didn't have I don't I 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.359 didn't like have a lot of deep distrust for women. 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:45.280 But I, like I've talked about this on previous episodes, 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.359 there was always like a lot of competition in my 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:52.800 mind regarding women, just because of how I grew up, and. 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:55.480