WEBVTT - USAMA SIDDIQUEE - Bagels, Grit, and Punchlines 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.960 Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke. 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.000 I'm your host Coley, and today we have very special guests, 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:09.520 personal friend of my brothers, so we had to call 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:10.160 it a favorite. 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:13.320 Hello, did I fuck it up? 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:15.040 I should have get a number. There's just three on. 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:19.800 It because he keeps me Salma sucker, Dicky. 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:24.080 Hello, it's did I'm not say it right? 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:42.199 Okay, cool, they're gonna use that one problem. 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:45.559 Osama's in the building. I'm really excited. 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:48.720 Actor comedian is in the building, very excited to have 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:50.559 you seen you do stand up in la And that 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:52.560 was a great time when I got to enjoy l 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:53.159 A comics. 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:57.400 A lot of people hate l A comedy for good reason. 0:00:57.880 --> 0:00:59.520 It's not the it's a lot of people going there 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:02.480 to become fans and not good. The currency of LA 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:04.840 is let me get famous. The currency of New York 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.560 is let me get good. So if you go to 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:10.479 one place, those ideas will permeate within you and you'll 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:12.800 become that type of comic. So that's why I really 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:14.760 love when comics go to New York for multiple years 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:16.759 because they it gets in their head to be good. 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:18.759 Well, you get to do more reps in New York. 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:20.040 So that's what you could do. 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:23.600 I remember I used to come here with Eagle, and 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.000 Eagle would stay out til four in the morning. He 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.560 brings me back the Philly cheese, chop cheese and then 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:31.600 a snapple and that's when we catch up. 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:35.959 Y'all. Y'all, you and Egle are look so like it's 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:37.920 crazy in a good way. Not like I'm talking to 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.840 Eagle right now, but if it's if he's Ego, then 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.480 you're like pigeon. You know, You're like, you're right, it's 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:47.319 the same okay, you know, same concept. Y'all are like 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:53.600 the likable in a very perceptive way. Y'all always observing. Yeah, 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:56.040 I always like assessing. I almost feel like I'm being 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:57.560 assessed by you. 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.040 We love you. That's the one thing we have in common. 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:04.360 But before we get into your story, which I heard 0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:06.400 from Ego was incredible. I tried not to do the 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:09.440 whole million on one questions because that's why you're here. 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:13.360 But before we get into it, let's get into the 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:14.280 halal bagel. 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:18.440 You got its got a fully Arabic podcast today. She's 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:18.920 doing great. 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:22.240 So typically the guest would be introducing the dish, but 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:23.600 I want to tell you guys. 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:24.359 A little backstory. 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:27.280 Usama gave me the task of finding a bagel from 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.960 a halal cart, which is actually impossible, which I told 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:34.280 him last night and he assured me, no, no, no, 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:36.520 you got this, which by the way, we are not 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:38.799 eating halal bagels, but we. 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:40.040 Will go ahead. 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:44.000 What come okay? So okay. So the bigel was trying 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:45.320 to get her to get I told her I would 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:46.679 get it for her, but she was like, I don't 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.720 trust you be on time. And here I was at one. 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:50.880 Ten and I was late. 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:56.760 So I respect you that I absolutely could have. I 0:02:57.040 --> 0:02:59.880 worked my whole day around Colleen and now look at us. 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:03.240 So basically, it's a it's like a breakfast cart that's 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:05.360 run by an Arab guy. Usually like it's some small 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:07.800 thing you'll see like bagel, you'll see like some danishes 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.000 and muffins on the in the glass case. But it's 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:12.240 like a cart. It looks like a lot cart, but 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:14.000 really it's a breakfast cart that's like out in the 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:17.919 in the morning. So every day I would basically wait 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:21.160 till I couldn't wait anymore, and I would eat one 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:25.880 bagel for that day. And it was a bagel, one sided, 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.680 one half of it and just it was butter on it, 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:31.600 and then I would use that until the end of 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:33.440 the night when I have one more bagel. 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:35.520 So there was would that be the second half of 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:36.120 the first day. 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:38.160 I came back and the guy he's like, yeah, pay 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:40.520 up the second half and it was basically two bagels. 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:43.160 Excuse me that where I was eat the whole day. 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:45.120 And that was like maybe a couple of months of 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:47.600 just that, and then one day I woke up and 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:50.000 I was like dizzy for a month because I just 0:03:50.040 --> 0:03:53.520 hadn't had nutrients. I just hadn't had one vegetable. I 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:58.040 thought I was dying. I was like, this is all true. 0:03:58.280 --> 0:03:58.880 Are you gonna eat? 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:00.640 You gotta take a bite of this for because I 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:02.440 know I did not go all around. 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:03.720 I ain't never. 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:07.640 Man, this looks already too expensive. This already looks too 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:11.120 bougie for what I was eating. Like wrapping my bagel. 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:13.920 The four dollars, so I don't know what he was 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:14.680 paying the bagel. 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:17.320 I got the bagel, he would frisbee it to my mouth. 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.680 This is like in a wrapping. It's like Christmas. 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:22.520 Let's see, okay, this is just a. 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:25.240 It's like a soft bagel. Yeah, hold hold up, hold on, 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:27.479 Oh my god, the struggle bagel. 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:29.280 But I should have done it's got it early this 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:32.200 morning and made you eat a cold, top hard bagel. 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:34.120 This is good. 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:35.480 So my eye goes up and down like you. 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:41.159 So take me back too, it's good. 0:04:41.680 --> 0:04:42.200 Takes me back? 0:04:42.440 --> 0:04:44.560 Probably does it take you back? When was the last 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:45.120 time you had this? 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.600 Literally since since I was poor. I don't eat this anymore. 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:51.000 If I have a bagel, I'm having like all this, 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:52.440 you know, I'm cream, cheese and ship. 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:55.080 Fancying it up. 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.400 Damn, it's been a while. It's been a while, real talk. 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:02.000 I didn't think I was poor, grown in New York, didn't. 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:03.240 I didn't really think that I was just like, I 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.800 was just happy to do comedy four times a day. 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:08.080 That was my whole mindset. 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:10.839 So this is during your pursuit of comedy career. 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.240 Yeah, so when I would, I mean, it's Eagle time too. 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.120 When I was when I met Eagle, I was what 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:17.520 twenty three in New York give up med school to 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.159 do comedy, gave up med school. 0:05:19.160 --> 0:05:20.520 I'm sure those parents were thrilled. 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:22.360 They were so happy. They were like, are you are 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:26.159 you gay too? Please be gay as well. No, they 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:28.080 were so angry, so sad I didn't talk to him 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:30.640 for like the first two years. Classic you know, immigrant 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:35.320 Bengali came here Medigal like the week two we were micers. 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.080 You know, so micers you just do as many shows 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:40.600 a humanly possible. I didn't get a real job because 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:42.200 I was like, then I would miss the five pm 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:44.479 micah people who did the temp jobs and the normal 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:46.599 job they would always come to mics at like a 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:48.760 seven pm and I was like, no, that's two extra 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:50.960 mics I could do. So I basically post made it 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:54.000 all day, had no money, would eat like two bagels 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:56.200 a day, and then I would do comedy from five 0:05:56.279 --> 0:06:00.839 to one am every day. And so it was very skinny, 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.200 very wayfish very like like I looked like this, this 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.039 is my arm, and even now it's not that much better. 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.920 But I was very much in that world of like blinders, 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:11.960 I think you need a certain ivitate to like do 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:14.400 comedy well eventually, like you could be obsessed with it 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:16.479 in a way. And I was like very much in 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:18.640 that space of just like I don't care what my body, 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:20.200 I don't care about my what I put into it. 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:22.839 I just want to do as much comedy as humanly possible. 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.000 So when you say we're going to take it back 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:27.240 a step, when you say you gave up med school, well, 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:29.039 does that mean you were a really great student and 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:30.320 then you shot your parents'. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.400 Dreams Jesus so violent? Yes, yes? 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:35.760 And then and then did they say, hey, okay, so 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.400 you got about one year or did they put some 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:39.400 parameters on it. 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:42.279 So I didn't tell I lied to them. I basically 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:44.080 got into med school. There's the thing you can do 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.119 for med school where you can defer for a year 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.400 through an extenuating medical circumstance for your parents, going to 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:52.800 help them out. So my mom had like this routine 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:56.080 like bunyan appointment or something like that. Something would just 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:59.279 like just get some like acid for feet. And I 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:02.400 had made that into like I sent a letter to 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:05.480 the medical office of the Admission's office of A and 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:10.400 M like you, my mom got polio, shi leg amputated 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.640 all this shit so I could defer free. I had 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:15.840 the doctor's knowne of like a foot appointment, and I 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:18.920 sent that over and then the admitions like, oh this 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:21.320 you need those guys want one year? Differ because if 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:23.640 I just said it was a bunion appointment. They wouldn't 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.560 have accepted. They had to be something crazy. So I 0:07:25.560 --> 0:07:28.560 definitely lied and told them that my mom had like 0:07:28.600 --> 0:07:31.119 no legs, and they were like, of course, of course, 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:33.920 We'll give you a year. And that year I accrued 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:37.560 money delivering sandwiches for Jimmy John's, so I could at 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:38.720 the end of the year if I needed to make 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:40.720 an escape from my parents, I could do it. 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.440 Oh, because you knew that they was gonna come. 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.960 For you, absolutely right. So I basically was like, just 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:49.720 so I have escape money. So I told them I 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.080 was working at a hospital, which I was not, and 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:53.760 I was really just getting money from Jane John's and 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:54.920 then doing comedy all night. 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:57.840 Oh they didn't even know about the comedy. 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:00.640 No. So that for that year, after med school up, 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.560 after undergrad ended, and but before med school was starting, 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:05.880 I was just doing comedy and I was making money 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:06.679 delivery driving. 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:08.800 Now, now we got to go back a little bit 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:13.800 deeper again, we gotta know. Okay, so where when, at 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:16.440 what point did you have the epiphany that comedy was 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:18.200 definitely something you wanted to do. 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:20.560 You know, I was a funny kid with my friends, right, 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:24.120 I was first funny in class doing like you know, 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:27.240 popcorn reading when someone like, hey, I'm reading. Then I 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:29.920 passed the book two who saw him? And then you 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:32.120 read a section from like a play or something from 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:34.480 Englis Slash. So we were doing Julius Caesar and I 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:35.800 was they gave it to me and it was the 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.480 Brutus speech. I think the Friends or the Marc Anthony 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.240 was the friends Romans country then my ears and I 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:44.880 made a massive like British affectation like friends, Romens countryman 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.160 lending me it is. People were dying and I remember that 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:49.240 was the first time I was like, oh, I'm getting 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.920 a group of people to laugh at something I'm doing. 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:55.240 That was the beginning of like the Funny. Then I 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.400 did the MCAT, which is the medical school Admissions Program test. 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.240 That was like so saying that. Once I finished it, 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:02.800 I had a year in junior year to find out 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:04.439 what I wanted to do. So I was like, let 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:06.320 me try comedy. I really want to do it. I 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:09.160 was just thinking about it. I went to a Hyenas 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.760 comedy club in Dallas, which is like I had a 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.720 Wednesday open mic and I that's where I started doing comedy. 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:16.200 I was so bad I was. I just wrote like 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:19.240 bin Louden puns, like five minutes have been Lodden puns. 0:09:19.240 --> 0:09:21.480 And I was like, oh, let's go. And I did 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:23.680 it at like one thirty am with my first mic 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.400 and then it was like, waited for five hours to 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:28.640 do it. Got a couple of laughs, and I was like, Oh, 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:30.640 this is this is what I want to do, this 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:31.439 is this is my whole thing. 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.040 And at what point did you break the news to 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:34.600 the parents. 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.200 It was the day before I left to New York. 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:41.440 I had bought in the ticket I had. They thought 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:43.920 I was going to medical school. The day before I 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:45.640 left to New York. 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:46.959 I thought you were originally from here. 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:48.520 No, I'm from Dallas. 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:51.360 Oh so you were out there, and so you you 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:55.400 break the news along with a plane ticket like boom, 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:57.839 I'm going to I know they're gonna kill me and 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.520 they're gonna need time to I got to. 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:03.320 Escape before they get the weapons. You know, my dad, 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:06.320 I told my parents. I was like, da dad, Mom, 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:08.480 I'm not going to do medical school. I'm gonna do comedy. 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:12.000 My dad, you know, single dad teer, you know that 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:15.079 classic like it can't be gay. But I'm also destroyed. 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:19.800 My mom took pots and pans started throwing it. She's like, 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.960 what the fuck are you doing? But started throwing shit? 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:24.200 Did she really? 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:27.599 No, really, it wasn't like it was more like it 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:29.360 was an an aiming at me. She's just so fucking angry. 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:32.440 She's like, what the fuck are you doing? Bawling, like 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:34.800 what are you doing? Because the word comedian in my 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:38.800 in Banglah Bamlay is like drunk. You know the town drunk, 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.160 he said, comedian come in, so like when I want 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:43.160 to be a comedian, They're like, you want to be 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:46.600 professionally drunk, which is kind of what happens, but that 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.360 they didn't have no concept of what comedy is. They 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:53.280 have no idea. Immigrant you know, people who are just 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:56.920 like get money acchoir and I get it now looking back, 0:10:56.960 --> 0:10:59.080 I was pretty petulant to them. I was like, I 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:00.960 should have given them more time. I should have like 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:02.439 been more courteous. 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:05.920 But also coming from immigrants, you also know that the 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:10.080 death sentence is real, possible, like you may not live 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:11.360 another day. 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:13.600 I didn't die because I was good at dodging. 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:15.360 Yeah, you're right, but you know what I'm saying. 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:18.400 You know, there's like this inherent fear as an immigrant 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:21.400 child that you know, like they don't have a problem 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:23.520 saying like I brought you in this world and I 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:24.400 may be the one that. 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:27.960 Jamaican right, yeah, Jamaican, she is christ some of those 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:30.200 intense people on earth. Why do you think that Jamaican 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:32.200 is so good at running because their parents are the 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:37.440 raising the running. The first danger is mom, the with 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.360 a sandal and a knife. And I bet your mom 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:45.240 she does take no ship, but very dangerous, beautifully sweet sweet. 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:47.240 But it's right there my mom too. If you me 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:49.000 and my mom, you're like, that's the sweetest lady on earth. 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:52.680 The door closes, She's like, get me a stick, I'm 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:55.840 going to kill you and then I'm gonna kill myself 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:57.400 to get you in the spirit world and I'm gonna 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.400 find you and kill you. There again, they're. 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.719 Crazy, but come back you You do think that if 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:04.680 you had to redo it over, you would have given 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:05.200 them a warning? 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:08.480 No, I know, I wouldn't. I feel bad because now 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.000 I know where they're coming from. The hurt, the pain, 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.079 the fear that I was a star kid, very smart 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.160 in school. In their mind, I'm throwing it all away. Yeah, 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.559 and they're terrified of that it's all love based all 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:22.040 their anger and their fear, and they love so much 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.760 that it comes out in dark ways. Sometimes it's you know, 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.760 literally like you know, but it's like the idea is 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:31.800 like I had, I was also a coward. I was scared. 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:33.679 I didn't know I was gonna do it. I was 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.839 still like maybe comedy, maybe medicine for the longest time, 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.920 and then I watched this documentary called Zero Dreams of Sushi. 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:41.880 I don't know if you ever saw this, literally, just 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.679 Japanese sushi chefs who's like talking about the idea of 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:47.640 all I want to do is get better at making sushi. 0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:50.640 That's my whole purpose in life. And as an immigrant kid, 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:54.000 you never understand that concept because everything's very acquisitional. It's like, 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:56.439 you gotta get this so you can get this, so 0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:58.720 you can get this, get this job, get this degree 0:12:58.760 --> 0:12:59.839 so you can get those jobs. You can get this 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:01.640 needs to get the house. It's all get, get, get 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:03.719 because immigrants work in that way. That's why they came 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.760 to America to get. Whereas the idea that you can 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:10.240 live your life inside out, like the idea of the 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:12.800 of the journey and the path and the growth and 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:18.680 the finding the self as the actual purpose was lost 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:20.800 on me. It was such a unique idea that I 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.120 saw in that documentary, and once I saw that, it 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.320 shifted immediately. I finished that documentary about to take it 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:28.160 that day. Wow, Yeah, it was crazy. 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.320 Does your parents know that that one documentary. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:34.959 In their lives? There? My mom's like, I'm going to 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.640 read that Japanese guy, go to Tokyo, find him. 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:39.760 How did you end up even watching it? It was 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:40.439 just like fate. 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:42.559 It was fay. You know, there's some things a little 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.360 I like that, you know, some things like that. When 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:47.400 I decided to do comedy, I was like, I was like, 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:48.960 let me just wait for a year, let me just 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:51.440 like sculpe it out in junear you after the m cat. 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.760 And then I off a whim told this guy who 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:56.760 wasn't even a close friend. He was a friend ish, 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:58.679 but not a guy I would I would ever tell. 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:00.959 But I didn't tell my best friends. I just told 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.640 him and he was the guy who was like, I 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:08.000 already do comedy in hyenas And I'm like, what it 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:10.839 had been? It had gotten real once I asked him, 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:12.320 And this is not a guy I would ever tell 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:15.240 anything to. He's my boy now, But back then, I 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.800 was like, why did I tell him? What caused me 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.240 to tell him? It's a fascinating thing because he was 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:21.840 the only guy in that whole school that already did 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:24.880 a comedy opened and through his information giving, I was 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:25.840 able to find find. 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:27.040 These And how old were you then? 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.160 Twenty twenty years twenty twenty? 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.640 So then you decide, of all places to go, you're 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:36.800 gonna choose the hardest place to pursue comedy and the. 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.960 Most expensive place to live. So you come here, who 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.320 are you staying with? How are you? 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:47.400 I'm staying in a Bushwick apartment. It's this subleasing this 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:51.040 one horrific room. It was this guy, the super like 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:55.680 gay guy who was also like kind of a drug dealer. 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:58.680 I think, so he would like deal drugs, bang dudes. 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:01.960 He's small, but he's banging these massive dudes, and you'd 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:04.480 always like send him home, and these guys were crying 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:08.280 in the kitchen sometimes, scary dude. But I would pay 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:09.280 him every month. 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.240 And he said, but the dude was small. You said, 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:12.800 he's small, but he was scary. 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:13.320 Scary? 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:14.200 How was he scary? 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.080 You already know those dudes who like small, but they 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:18.160 got the eyes or cream, you know, talking about the 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:20.160 guys who were like I kill people. I climb up 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:22.880 on them and I kill him. Yeah, so he was 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.040 kind of a fearsome dude. Stayed there five hundred dollars 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.080 a month rent, no money. That's where I started getting 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:36.080 scared of your parents, definitely, and especially a gay drug dealer. 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.800 What that that's their that's their fear. 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:40.920 But they were asking where you were staying at all. 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:42.480 No, no, no, I was just saying what I was 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:44.240 saying them playing blah bah blah. I was keeping everything 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:45.800 very vague just during the time. They didn't like me. 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:48.160 Oh so they weren't even talking to you really. 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:49.640 For a little bit they were talking. Then I at 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:51.520 the earrings. My dad was like, you better get the 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:53.800 hell out of my life for a little bit anyway. 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:57.320 But then one day I realized that he wasn't using 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.800 my money to pay anybody. He was using his money 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.280 for his own self. So the sublease I was given him, 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.360 he was not even using to pay the rent. Then 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:08.920 he got like the cops came and basically locked my door. 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:10.760 I couldn't get into it, so I had to go 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:13.160 climb up the side of the house to get to 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.720 my room because he was scared I was gonna confront 0:16:15.800 --> 0:16:17.760 him or something like that, because he didn't use any 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:20.240 of my money, so I was I was also kicked out. 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:22.480 So I came up one day the door was locked, 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:25.880 couldn't get in, climbed up the side of my house. 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.320 My knee, Why do I still have the scar? 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:30.880 Hilarious? 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:35.760 Yeah, maybe right? My knee hit this piece of glass. 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:38.240 The knee went straight through the glass. But there's a 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:40.760 flap of skin where I could see the bone of 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:45.840 my knee. My knee, and I got my stoff got out. 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:48.240 My knee was flapped, but the whole meat was like this. 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:51.360 It was the meat was like I limped to like 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:53.360 there wasn't a poor neighborhood. So I went to Like 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:54.920 it wasn't even there's no urgin carre. It was like 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:58.320 Joe's bodega and er or whatever. And I went there 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.560 and I got like patched up and I got stitches 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:02.480 on one of these needs. And then I was like 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:04.840 homeless for like a couple of days, saying at my 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:06.800 front friend's house, who was a dental school in the NYU. 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:10.280 And then I was like what do I do? My friend, 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:15.440 my boy was a micer and one day he goes 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:17.840 up on stage and he's like, I'm gonna kill myself. 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:21.080 And after that I asked him. I was like, hey man, 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:22.480 I don't know if that was a joke or not, 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:25.760 but you should not do that. And he later told me, 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.000 he's like, bro, you're the only guy in my life 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:31.399 that said don't kill yourself. And he happened to have 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:34.919 a really nice place in Williamsburg and he was like, 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:38.159