Speaker 1: It was good t you already know as usual, this
Speaker 1: is exactly a matter of production of my Heart Radio
Speaker 1: as you as you already know again, I'm exactly myself, unfiltered, uncensored.
Speaker 1: But I said whatever I want, it is what it is,
Speaker 1: take it or lately. And that's why today I want
Speaker 1: to talk about I want to talk about something real media.
Speaker 1: I've never I've never said this publicly, and that's why
Speaker 1: I love my podcast because it gives me an opportunity
Speaker 1: to really put out now my secrets, because who the
Speaker 1: hell said that this has to be a secret. It's
Speaker 1: just getting Nobody asked me, so I don't feel the
Speaker 1: need to say it better. How how important is it
Speaker 1: to really understand who you are as a person, To
Speaker 1: really accept who you are as a person, to really
Speaker 1: be vulnerable, to really expose yourself to the world, regardless
Speaker 1: of what people have to say about you too, To
Speaker 1: be open enough to tell your family who you are
Speaker 1: and how do you feel the most comfortable with um?
Speaker 1: And that's why I want to talk to a friend
Speaker 1: of mine. Before I get there, I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: what back in I ain't gonna say how long ago,
Speaker 1: but back in along time ago, I, Um, I was
Speaker 1: experimenting with my sexuality. I was exploring. I was trying
Speaker 1: to understand who I was, what I liked. I think
Speaker 1: it's normal. I don't know. I think it's normal, UM
Speaker 1: to sometimes be curious, to sometimes want to know, to
Speaker 1: sometimes want to understand. Do I like my friend because
Speaker 1: I just like her and I think that she's pretty?
Speaker 1: Do I like my friend because I'm into her? Do
Speaker 1: is there something wrong with me? What would my mom say? Um?
Speaker 1: What would my friends say? Do I need to go
Speaker 1: to therapy? Do? I? You start to question so many things.
Speaker 1: And for three years solid I used to only date women.
Speaker 1: I used to only date women. I never in the
Speaker 1: public because I felt embarrassed. I felt like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what are the people gonna say? You know? And and
Speaker 1: I also heard, especially in the Latino community, how they
Speaker 1: spoke about other women they liked women. It was like
Speaker 1: la this like that all the like. It was just
Speaker 1: looked like in such a bad like in a bad light.
Speaker 1: And I just felt like, damn, is there's something wrong
Speaker 1: with me? Is there? I just felt like it was
Speaker 1: my fault, like I'm doing something wrong without understanding that
Speaker 1: is part of life for you to be able to
Speaker 1: feel free and make your own choices. And who the
Speaker 1: hell says that there's a guide book, that there's a
Speaker 1: rule book on how to live your life or who
Speaker 1: to love. There isn't one. And I also remember when
Speaker 1: I told my mom. Actually, my mom found out because
Speaker 1: I was dating this girl, which by the way, I
Speaker 1: only like studs. So I was dating this girl or whatever,
Speaker 1: and she came over to my house. My mom was
Speaker 1: at work, and when I heard my mom coming in,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, ship, my mom's coming. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: you can't be here. My Mom's gonna kill me. And then,
Speaker 1: you know, for those that don't know, you know studs
Speaker 1: um she wore sports brawl boxers. You know, she had
Speaker 1: a more male like energy. And my mom, of course
Speaker 1: was gonna know that you're not just a friend, Like
Speaker 1: what are you doing here? And I was like, go
Speaker 1: to my closet, go to my close. She ran into
Speaker 1: the closet, she hid in side my shoes. But I
Speaker 1: see that for like four hours solid, waiting for my
Speaker 1: mom to go to the room or something so that
Speaker 1: she can leave, and all of a sudden, my mom goes,
Speaker 1: I mean, how you know they haven't seen it how
Speaker 1: my day went, and she just wanted to have a
Speaker 1: long as conversation in my room and heard my shoes
Speaker 1: jiggling when she opened the closet. I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: her name, so she's not embarrassed or whatever. Not that
Speaker 1: she should care, okay, because first of all, you should
Speaker 1: be proud that you used to me. But um, she
Speaker 1: was there. She was there and um, and we had
Speaker 1: to have that conversation and my mom my mom cried.
Speaker 1: She made me feel real guilty. She prayed. You know,
Speaker 1: she told all her friends the disappointment I was as
Speaker 1: her only child to now you know, like women and um,
Speaker 1: and it was a lot. It was a lot. Right.
Speaker 1: I personally decided to get say, oh, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I wanted to explore with something else, and I don't know.
Speaker 1: I never went back to dating women, but it was
Speaker 1: so traumatizing for that moment, I felt like I was
Speaker 1: like the cursed child, like I did something so bad
Speaker 1: and someone that I'm really proud of the way that
Speaker 1: she has handled her life experience, um, her sexuality. She
Speaker 1: encourages other women that are that are you know, going
Speaker 1: through it, that don't know how to express it to
Speaker 1: their families that feel like they're are trapped, that they
Speaker 1: just can't be theirselves, that people are going to judge them,
Speaker 1: that people are gonna look down upon them. Someone who
Speaker 1: has been there, done that, She's had her own experience.
Speaker 1: But I just love how comfortable she is in her body,
Speaker 1: how comfortable she is in her space, how she doesn't
Speaker 1: hide who she is, who she doesn't feel the need
Speaker 1: to pretend to be somebody that she's not. Um, she's
Speaker 1: an activist, she's a singer, she's a podcaster, she's a
Speaker 1: a musician. Oh yeah, she's everything. Oh by the way,
Speaker 1: and she's more don't care you, Um, that's my girl.
Speaker 1: Emily Stefan was good. Okay. First of all, I am
Speaker 1: a fan of this incredible podcast. Okay two and oh
Speaker 1: my god, I love it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: We need places to listen that we feel like we
Speaker 1: have a home and a community. And the way that
Speaker 1: you speak, the way that you advocate for so many
Speaker 1: different people, it makes us feel less alone, and that's
Speaker 1: what we need nowadays, you know what I mean? And
Speaker 1: number one, number two for me, I am a different
Speaker 1: kind of um LGBTQ advocate because I think, why do
Speaker 1: we need to come out as gay, right, Like if
Speaker 1: you want to come out, and if you want to
Speaker 1: do that for yourself, that's great, but you don't come
Speaker 1: out as straight. Like I want a world right where
Speaker 1: my children can say, you know what, maybe I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go on a date with a girl tonight. Maybe a
Speaker 1: might not like it. Maybe I'm going to go on
Speaker 1: a date with a guy tonight because I'm interested. Better
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you know, we don't
Speaker 1: have to feel like you said, like there's something wrong,
Speaker 1: like like there's something wrong with us for experimenting. I
Speaker 1: think as human beings, even as mammals. Right, we see
Speaker 1: there are animals who don't even practice who practice monogamy,
Speaker 1: like lobsters, you know, like, and there are animals who
Speaker 1: practice different kinds of you know, sexual practices. But from
Speaker 1: the dawn of time, there has been homosexuality within every animal,
Speaker 1: every human being, you know. So my journey, my personal journey,
Speaker 1: is explore without feeling like you're being suffocated, without feeling
Speaker 1: like there's something wrong with you. Because for example, for me,
Speaker 1: I prefer women, but I have been with as many
Speaker 1: men as women. Honestly, and looking back, I can tell
Speaker 1: you my experience is different with men than with women.
Speaker 1: You know, I can I can tell that I prefer
Speaker 1: some kind of experience. I have some you know whatever.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm not repulsed by men.
Speaker 1: I'm the kind of individual that explores everything that humanity
Speaker 1: has to offer. So my whole thing is, I don't
Speaker 1: like boxes. Lakajas, Sierrancosas. You know what I'm saying. We
Speaker 1: need to, in my opinion, live in a society and
Speaker 1: openness where we're not criticizing people, Like how come a
Speaker 1: man can't explore, you know, a fantasy and say, you
Speaker 1: know what, I didn't really like that, and I prefer women,
Speaker 1: and we don't have to shame him, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, listen, girl. Also, I've been with a
Speaker 1: lot of man you know, they like that booty they
Speaker 1: like that booty stuff. You know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: you know how to be be a shame for that? You know,
Speaker 1: I know a lot of guys that be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a man, this and that butter on the low
Speaker 1: when you'll be in your room, you'll be telling her
Speaker 1: to eat that booty hole and those say now that
Speaker 1: you'll be telling you to eat that booty hole, you'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh, just a little men. I've done it
Speaker 1: and I've been open about it. I I I have,
Speaker 1: you know, experimented. I pecked. I pecked before, and I
Speaker 1: was open about it on the show. I mean not
Speaker 1: a lot of times. I did at one time, and
Speaker 1: it was very empowering. It was very empowering to feel like,
Speaker 1: now you're my bit and I got that ask. But
Speaker 1: but oh for you. For people don't know what pegging is,
Speaker 1: Pegging is when you put on a strap on. It
Speaker 1: was it was a moment I explored. I tried it.
Speaker 1: I'm Dora the Explore. I had to explore things. I
Speaker 1: had to try things. And I feel like it's so
Speaker 1: it's even harder for men to try to experiment things
Speaker 1: without getting judged for it. Even women ourselves judge men
Speaker 1: when they want to explore what their sexual I don't know,
Speaker 1: when they want to explore with their body and they're like,
Speaker 1: it's not like they're going out there and trying it
Speaker 1: with the man, and if they choose to do it
Speaker 1: with the man, thumb being it is what it is
Speaker 1: their bodies. But I just feel like in society we
Speaker 1: can be so judgmental when it comes to people's sexuality.
Speaker 1: No doyo no I doyo no I. If they want
Speaker 1: to go over there and explore and try something, let
Speaker 1: them be them. You worry about you. Now, I'll ask
Speaker 1: you this, When did you start feeling like an attraction?
Speaker 1: I know that me personally, I started seeing like and
Speaker 1: like a person. I don't know why, but I never
Speaker 1: like fems. I was never into girls that were like
Speaker 1: like me or whatever. I like more the masculine energy
Speaker 1: in certain girls. And I started when I was like
Speaker 1: in middle school. When did you first seeing like even
Speaker 1: though you dated men um that you were like, well,
Speaker 1: she's kind of cute, Like I don't I wouldn't mind.
Speaker 1: I lost my virginity to a female and it was great.
Speaker 1: And then shortly after I was like, something must be
Speaker 1: wrong with me, like you said, like, oh what's wrong
Speaker 1: with me? Like I have to find the nearest male
Speaker 1: that I can try this with to see if I'm broken,
Speaker 1: you know, or something like that. And my mom used
Speaker 1: to say something to me all the time, there are
Speaker 1: as many sexualities as there are human beings, and at
Speaker 1: first I didn't really understand that, but now I get it.
Speaker 1: Because everybody has their own thing, their own spectrum of
Speaker 1: what turns them on, what they like, what they don't like,
Speaker 1: And I think that gender lies within that when it
Speaker 1: comes to sexuality, because like I said, I've had great
Speaker 1: experiences with males, but when I'm with females, it's a
Speaker 1: different experience, right for me, For me, I prefer it
Speaker 1: more because also, you know, like we also have to
Speaker 1: realize that a lot of people are watching porn, you know,
Speaker 1: for so many years, and porn is also kind of
Speaker 1: an unrealistic you know, depiction of sex, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, and kind of like what sex me, I
Speaker 1: talk about it? Yeah, no, So you know, like for me,
Speaker 1: you know, porn is great, it's healthy whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: Like that's what kind of for me, gets in the
Speaker 1: balance of what's the normal human development of sexuality And
Speaker 1: then what are we being fed that we think is
Speaker 1: sex which is coming with all this aggression, with all
Speaker 1: this kind of like, oh, why aren't straight women coming,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Why why do we need
Speaker 1: to educate different groups on how to pleasure both kinds
Speaker 1: of people? That's why I think personally, like for me, um,
Speaker 1: you know, like we need gay pride because we've been
Speaker 1: suppressed for many years. But my point is that that's
Speaker 1: why we that's why we bubble up, because we feel
Speaker 1: like we need a voice. But also, for me, if
Speaker 1: you go too far and you create too many boxes,
Speaker 1: then where's the equality? You know, like if we have
Speaker 1: lgb X, that that that that then the only people
Speaker 1: left are straight people. And I've had people say to me,
Speaker 1: you know, like piss on CIS, which means if you're
Speaker 1: CIS gendered, that you're identified with your generals, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: that's not okay. I think that we need to love
Speaker 1: humanity and create spaces for everybody. That's why to your point,
Speaker 1: if a straight male is trying to experiment, he shouldn't
Speaker 1: be shamed because in the male gay is, if he's
Speaker 1: going anywhere other than the straight male you know kind
Speaker 1: of box, he's gonna get shamed for that. Why what
Speaker 1: the l women can make out with women and oh
Speaker 1: it's hot, it's hot, right, it's hot if you're a girl,
Speaker 1: but it's not hot if you're a guy. It's gay.
Speaker 1: You know, like, what the hell you know? So I'll
Speaker 1: ask you this, like, for example, well, one, if you
Speaker 1: could have told the younger you because I don't know
Speaker 1: personally it was. I. I I was a little bit traumatized,
Speaker 1: a little bit. Um. I wouldn't even say when it
Speaker 1: came out the closet, because I don't feel like I
Speaker 1: came out the closet. I didn't she did, you know.
Speaker 1: My mom was the one who caught her. But I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I came out the closet. It's just
Speaker 1: something that happened naturally, something that just you know, happened. Um.
Speaker 1: It was traumatizing, like I said before, because I never
Speaker 1: want to fail my mother. I never want to disappoint her,
Speaker 1: and I felt like I had done that by by
Speaker 1: not being with a man, by saying, you know, I
Speaker 1: find her hot, Like I like her, I like to
Speaker 1: cut it with her. I like to be with her.
Speaker 1: I like to she's funny, she's you know, sexually, because
Speaker 1: that's another thing. And my mom was like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: always gonna do this's like, you know, smash each other.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, there's there's a lot of other things
Speaker 1: you can do. You know. I sold her. I was
Speaker 1: so open with her. I sold her my strap on um,
Speaker 1: which was really mind But I just want to have
Speaker 1: a bonus one there just in case she came. But
Speaker 1: like I sold her all my things. I just wanted it.
Speaker 1: I wanted to sew her like, this is what it is,
Speaker 1: this is what I do, and there's nothing. I don't
Speaker 1: think there's anything wrong with it. But you see how
Speaker 1: you see how organic I am with it that it
Speaker 1: doesn't make you feel uncomfortable. That's how I was with
Speaker 1: my mom. I wanted to not make it awkward, like
Speaker 1: you have the rights to choose what you want. I
Speaker 1: have the rights to choose what I want. Eventually, she
Speaker 1: wasn't upset because in her mind she was like, at
Speaker 1: least you're not gonna get preg it now. That was
Speaker 1: her mentality. She felt like, oh, you're going through a phase.
Speaker 1: Later on, you'll get over it. But it was traumatizing
Speaker 1: for me. Was it traumatizing for you when you made
Speaker 1: it not public? But like when your mom or your
Speaker 1: family or like close people to you found out. Were
Speaker 1: you embarrassed? When you traumatize it, you feel scared? Were
Speaker 1: you're nervous? Um we're uncomfortable? Like how was that experience
Speaker 1: for you? So there was a red table talk which
Speaker 1: you were on red table WHOA whoa? The first season, Uh,
Speaker 1: we had an episode about my coming out journey, and
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't know this, but when we
Speaker 1: have those red Table Talk episodes, we talked for hours
Speaker 1: and then it gets edited down, and a big part
Speaker 1: of my journey that was taken out was that my
Speaker 1: coming out was taken away from me. Uh in a
Speaker 1: very strange way. It's a very long story, it's very convoluted.
Speaker 1: But by the time that I was ready, because, like
Speaker 1: you said, when you feel like society has imposed this
Speaker 1: is wrong, You're doing something wrong. I feel ashamed. You
Speaker 1: have to kind of build up the courage to tell
Speaker 1: your loved ones, hey I love this person. Hey I'm
Speaker 1: bringing this person around. It's not like quote unquote normal like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're dating a guy. They would almost be excited that
Speaker 1: you're bringing someone around. So by the time that I, um,
Speaker 1: I went to my mom and I told her, Hey,
Speaker 1: you know, I gotta tell you something. This is going on.
Speaker 1: I'm in love with this girl, which, trust me, my
Speaker 1: fucking was in my throat, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like that cold feeling where you just want to freaking
Speaker 1: pass out. And she said, you don't think I already
Speaker 1: know that because somebody had double crossed me and sent
Speaker 1: a video to my mom months before on Snapchat of
Speaker 1: me slow dancing with Jem still my partner. Now, we
Speaker 1: weren't doing anything sexual, but we had specifically told somebody,
Speaker 1: don't tell anybody or the first person to know. And
Speaker 1: the first person she sent the video too was my
Speaker 1: mom's camp. So by the time I was ready to
Speaker 1: tell her, she had had that video for a month.
Speaker 1: And the first reaction was, oh, you don't think I
Speaker 1: already knew that. I was like, was it bad or
Speaker 1: she was cool? No, she wasn't cool. She wasn't cool.
Speaker 1: And that's what we talked about on the show because
Speaker 1: she had been manifesting these emotions for a month plus
Speaker 1: and I had been building up the courage to quote
Speaker 1: unquote come out, which I don't even believe in, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, I don't really believe in coming out.
Speaker 1: And then my grandmother was still alive at the time.
Speaker 1: So then here comes this old Latin influx of the
Speaker 1: old people in the family. Can't handle it, you know
Speaker 1: it your responsibility to keep it a secret. Well, when
Speaker 1: you tell somebody you love to keep a secret, what
Speaker 1: does that entail? You can't be yourself? You can't hold
Speaker 1: your partner's hand in public. You have to think twice
Speaker 1: when you're showing acts of affection. And I don't mean
Speaker 1: anything inappropriate, you know, I just mean normal affection. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And even now things are coming
Speaker 1: up that I didn't know. We're a problem because I'm
Speaker 1: not doing anything wrong. I'm just loving, and I was
Speaker 1: receiving this problem. Now I understand which this is the
Speaker 1: Latino influx, the paradigm that we face here. I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to protect you, Okay, I get it. You're just
Speaker 1: trying to protect me. But I'm a human being living
Speaker 1: in a different time, and my idea of protection is
Speaker 1: being myself. If I can be myself, I feel safe.
Speaker 1: If you are limiting who I can be, I don't
Speaker 1: feel safe. And sometime times people don't realize that that
Speaker 1: can come directly from inside of your family, you know.
Speaker 1: But it was not easy enough. Do you think that
Speaker 1: you would have told your mom earlier? Like, after all
Speaker 1: the experiences and everything you've been through, if you could
Speaker 1: have gone back in time, would you have told her earlier?
Speaker 1: Or would you have waited as long as you did?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, I think uh. In retrospect, nothing that I
Speaker 1: would have done would have changed the outcome. Uh. I
Speaker 1: think that the older generation, especially of Latinos, are grandparents
Speaker 1: who grew up in other countries, oftentimes under religious regimes, uh,
Speaker 1: communist regimes, whatever it may be. They came from a
Speaker 1: different life, and to try to integrate those lives, it's
Speaker 1: not possible. I will say, I think that boundaries in
Speaker 1: the Latino community are virtually non existent. You know, I
Speaker 1: think that even with our mothers and our fathers, we
Speaker 1: have difficulty drawing boundaries. And boundaries are really important, yes,
Speaker 1: you know, yes, because then well I have I everybody
Speaker 1: knows that I love my mom, My mom's my best friend,
Speaker 1: what or whatever, But it is so hard for me
Speaker 1: to put her boundaries in a way that she understands.
Speaker 1: I am an adult. I mean, yes, I came out
Speaker 1: of you. I get that part A mean thing very
Speaker 1: much because anytime, every time we argue, you make sure
Speaker 1: that that I know I get it. Great. Thank you
Speaker 1: for bringing me. However, now I am an adult. I
Speaker 1: have my own voice, I have my own opinion, I
Speaker 1: have my own vision, I have my own feelings, I
Speaker 1: have my own likings, and we're not always going to
Speaker 1: agree doesn't mean that I love you less. Doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that I did certain things to hurt you, because that's
Speaker 1: the first thing that at least my mom will do,
Speaker 1: or a lot of Latino parents will do. What did
Speaker 1: I do to deserve this? I was the best parent
Speaker 1: I can be. It's not about you. Everything is not
Speaker 1: about you. You know. It's like I have my own
Speaker 1: experience as my own things that I'm going through. So
Speaker 1: here's something else I'll say because and I know what
Speaker 1: I would say, because I, like I said, I went
Speaker 1: through it in a different way. You know, my experience
Speaker 1: only lasted three years, which three years is a pretty
Speaker 1: long time to me. Um three years with you know,
Speaker 1: different relationships. I don't regret it. I love the girls
Speaker 1: that I was with. I loved that I was able
Speaker 1: to explore an experiment with my sexuality. I love that.
Speaker 1: I love that I lived because a lot of times
Speaker 1: people are curious and keep this in their minds and
Speaker 1: won't do it. I lived, I tried it, I did it.
Speaker 1: I'm not there at this place at this moment in life.
Speaker 1: But now, if you could tell there's two things. One,
Speaker 1: if you could tell uh the Latino community or parents,
Speaker 1: parents that have kids that are going through the same
Speaker 1: the same experience that we went through at a certain moment,
Speaker 1: whether it is that we feel uncomfortable and we wanted to,
Speaker 1: you know, let our parents know this is our sexual preference,
Speaker 1: and I hope you don't get upset by it. What
Speaker 1: would you tell to these parents that don't know how
Speaker 1: to take this information, that don't know how to react,
Speaker 1: or brothers and sisters or whatever. If you have a
Speaker 1: family member that right now you don't know how to
Speaker 1: process this information, or you have a suspicious that you know,
Speaker 1: you're little, they might be gay, they might have a
Speaker 1: different sexual preference, what would you say to them? You
Speaker 1: just said it, amazing, You just said sexual preference. Right.
Speaker 1: There are a lot of people who are born and
Speaker 1: they say, I don't even want to have sex with
Speaker 1: the other sex. Balls repulsed me, footballs, I hate balls, right,
Speaker 1: And then there are people who are like, why can't
Speaker 1: I try preference? Right? It's called preference for a reason.
Speaker 1: You know what my you know what my loud, loud,
Speaker 1: loud call is to the youth. It is let your
Speaker 1: children explore just because you're with a girl doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you're gonna marry a girl, And if you are amazing,
Speaker 1: why does it matter to you? You need to be
Speaker 1: able to explore without feeling like you're a disease. Why
Speaker 1: can't you try? Why can't you follow your intuition without
Speaker 1: feeling guilt? Guilt and fear are the enemy of love.
Speaker 1: And you know what love is? Unconditional love. True unconditional
Speaker 1: love is making a space for things that you don't understand.
Speaker 1: If you don't want to suck a dick, don't suck
Speaker 1: a dick, but make space for people to suck ad dick.
Speaker 1: Because guess what, it's not gonna bother you. If you
Speaker 1: don't want to watch it, you don't gonna watch it.
Speaker 1: If you don't gonna be around it, you don't gonna
Speaker 1: be around it. Let people do their thing. Preference is preference.
Speaker 1: Some people like chicken. Some people like stay my dad.
Speaker 1: I love my fucking dad to death. You know his
Speaker 1: analogy on gay people. Some people like right some beings.
Speaker 1: Some people like I'm burned, no butter. We spoke a
Speaker 1: lot about your mom where we know that. We have
Speaker 1: a lot about machismo, right um, where there's a lot
Speaker 1: of a lot of that. You know, I'm the man
Speaker 1: and women are supposed to do this, and da da um.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of men for some reason are
Speaker 1: more accepting of their daughters if they choose to say, well,
Speaker 1: I personally rather be with a girl. In comparison to it,
Speaker 1: their son tells them, I'd rather be with a guy.
Speaker 1: So I don't under you know, it's I understand it,
Speaker 1: but I feel like that. I think that people, especially
Speaker 1: in the Latino minorities, need to become more well educated
Speaker 1: and more open minded when it comes to their children.
Speaker 1: When it comes to a family member overall wanted to
Speaker 1: choose to explore with their body, with their life, whatever
Speaker 1: it is that they want to do. I I feel
Speaker 1: that these conversations are so important because I feel like
Speaker 1: if this conversation hits at least one person, like it
Speaker 1: hit one person, then we did our job. We were
Speaker 1: successful in our message because I know we can't change
Speaker 1: the world, but we're trying to like get the message across.
Speaker 1: These conversations need to continue happening because you're still right now,
Speaker 1: there is a twelve year old girl, a ten year
Speaker 1: old girl right now feeling some type of way, who's afraid,
Speaker 1: who's scared, who doesn't know what she's feeling in her
Speaker 1: body who doesn't know how to express it. The same
Speaker 1: thing happens with a little boy, and these conversations are
Speaker 1: in Parents are important. Parents. If you're out there, stop
Speaker 1: being so damn judgmental. Let your kids explore with the bodies.
Speaker 1: Let your kids decide and tell you who they want
Speaker 1: to be. Stop trying just because you gave birth to them,
Speaker 1: just because you are raising them doesn't mean that they
Speaker 1: belong to you. They belong to the world. Just love them,
Speaker 1: give them love, appreciate them, hear them out. You know
Speaker 1: how many kids commit suicide because they don't know how
Speaker 1: to express themselves are because they feel trapped. Because they
Speaker 1: feel trapped, the person who's supposed to protect them and
Speaker 1: make them feel safe and make them feel is the
Speaker 1: first one judging them and putting fingers at them and
Speaker 1: making them just like UM. I also heard that there's
Speaker 1: these places come say, I'm all these places that a
Speaker 1: lot of parents send their kids to where they're like
Speaker 1: um or like um, like yeah, they try to pray
Speaker 1: the gay away and they try to um these certain
Speaker 1: camps that they do all types of craziness just because
Speaker 1: you disagree, you don't understand with their you know, with
Speaker 1: their sexual preferences and their choices. When you have children,
Speaker 1: which I'm sure eventually maybe, I don't know. Maybe. Um.
Speaker 1: First of all, you're you have been in a long,
Speaker 1: long term relationship, which I'm so happy and I love her.
Speaker 1: By the way, shout out to my girl. Um. Eventually,
Speaker 1: when you when you have children, if you guys aside
Speaker 1: to do you think because there's a lot of ignorance
Speaker 1: behind that too. And I say that because there's certain
Speaker 1: people that want to adopt children, the society doesn't agree
Speaker 1: that they should because of their sexual preference. Do you
Speaker 1: think that your sexual preference will be an issue for
Speaker 1: your children? How would you raise them? How will you
Speaker 1: make them understand? I'm gonna be honest with you. Uh.
Speaker 1: We have a lot of you know, straight friends. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I put that in quotes. Straight friends
Speaker 1: have children. We have a lot of straight friends who
Speaker 1: have children, who have toddlers. We love having babies over
Speaker 1: the house. And that's the funny thing. I'm adam. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you. We don't talk about the fact that
Speaker 1: we're gay. We don't talk about the fact that we're
Speaker 1: two women. We wake up and we exercise our values
Speaker 1: as human beings. There are so many people on this earth.
Speaker 1: Fuck your sexuality. How about being a fucking good person,
Speaker 1: how about making good choices? How about not putting a
Speaker 1: screen and some of your child for twenty three hours
Speaker 1: of the day. We have people around us who have babies,
Speaker 1: and the babies come over and we will make it
Speaker 1: a point to say, I didn't have a phone until
Speaker 1: I was seventeen. You know what my idea was playing
Speaker 1: was going outside, going in the pool, playing with legos.
Speaker 1: We are being poisoned by being young and exposed to
Speaker 1: dangerous things. We need to go back to what life
Speaker 1: really is. That's my real consensus, honestly, and honestly, I
Speaker 1: think that sexuality is the same way. We don't have
Speaker 1: to over complicate it. Human beings from the dawn of time,
Speaker 1: from the Roman and Greek ages, have been loving one another,
Speaker 1: regardless of the gender. Children need mothers and fathers or
Speaker 1: mothers no matter what. Like I know people in my
Speaker 1: family who are even against adoption because it's a difficult
Speaker 1: thing to deal with. But I think for me and
Speaker 1: maybe it's I have to acknowledge my privilege. I've grown
Speaker 1: up in a world where if I want to adopt
Speaker 1: a puppy. It's easier for me than other people. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, I gotta be honest. My father,
Speaker 1: God bless that man. He was homeless for four years.
Speaker 1: He slept under a truck. And we will be on
Speaker 1: the beach and like you know, the boogie boards, like
Speaker 1: those things that you like. It's like you go on
Speaker 1: the We'll be out in the water and he'll see
Speaker 1: a dragon fly or an ant out on the water
Speaker 1: and he'll save it, like he'll put it on the
Speaker 1: board and he'll take it out to shore to save it.
Speaker 1: Like his compassion is infectious. So I bless my privilege
Speaker 1: and I honor it. But it's taught me a different
Speaker 1: perspective on life, which is if you can help help
Speaker 1: And like, you know, I've had people who have gotten
Speaker 1: pregnant accidentally and have been like, oh shit, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I'm like, for me, when I
Speaker 1: want to have a child, whichever way I want to
Speaker 1: do that, it's going to be a challenge. You know,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a decision, it's gonna be a process,
Speaker 1: which is fine. I honor that process. But having a
Speaker 1: child is a privilege, Like we are this earth is
Speaker 1: all we have. Like, you know, everybody makes fun of me.
Speaker 1: I literally have alien tattooed right here on my arm
Speaker 1: because everybody is obsessed with leaving the planet, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: we need to protect this planet and we need to
Speaker 1: get the best that we can, and every day it
Speaker 1: gets worse and worse. So if I can help a
Speaker 1: baby live and be better, you know, that's just my prerogative.
Speaker 1: But again I have to acknowledge my privileged standpoint, you know,
Speaker 1: like if you're out in the world and you're gay
Speaker 1: and you don't have money and you don't have means,
Speaker 1: I don't even I can't even imagine trying to have
Speaker 1: a baby that would be I would be wrecked. Everybody
Speaker 1: is making it like a chance of getting Petro and
Speaker 1: do this and do that, and you know, all these
Speaker 1: are the things and and a lot of times they
Speaker 1: feel like where we're the adoption word is somewhat fading away.
Speaker 1: Like there's so many beautiful children out there that need
Speaker 1: a home, they need parents and need all those things,
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of people that have the possibilities
Speaker 1: and don't really appreciate it. And it's true what you said,
Speaker 1: you know, it's a privilege, it really is. And coming
Speaker 1: from a woman that's pregnant of two at this moment um,
Speaker 1: I definitely wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't expecting you.
Speaker 1: I wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't looking for it.
Speaker 1: Said that this was the right time. I am pregnantive too,
Speaker 1: I am blessed and see them and the okay, like
Speaker 1: you said, ass and nah, I mean, I know that
Speaker 1: there's a lot of great parents out there looking for
Speaker 1: that opportunity, and I just wanted to put it out there.
Speaker 1: But if you had any last words for parents, for
Speaker 1: kids out there, for the world overall about acceptance of
Speaker 1: accepting who you are, accepting your reality, accepting your surrounding,
Speaker 1: accepting life, your truth, what would you say? Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: You know what. I know that it's ironic and it's like,
Speaker 1: if you don't learn to love yourself, how the hell
Speaker 1: are you gonna love somebody else. I know that it's
Speaker 1: ironic and it's crazy if you are dependent on anything
Speaker 1: to get through your day, whether it's another person, substance, uh,
Speaker 1: social media. You know, we need to learn to face ourselves,
Speaker 1: and a lot of times that is the hardest thing.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you to myself, your ugliest habits, your disgusting traits,
Speaker 1: your lies. You know, you know what you're doing as
Speaker 1: a human being. But the hardest thing to do is
Speaker 1: face yourself. So what I would say is be honest
Speaker 1: with yourself, learned to be at peace. Gondego. You know,
Speaker 1: because like you said, you know, like you're growing two
Speaker 1: beautiful babies in your womb right now. You are everything
Speaker 1: they need. And God bless you, you know for having
Speaker 1: your mother who loves and supports you. And you guys
Speaker 1: are a team and that's a beautiful thing. But there
Speaker 1: are so many people in the world who don't have family,
Speaker 1: who don't have anywhere to lean. And I know that
Speaker 1: it sounds crazy, but we need to learn to love ourselves,
Speaker 1: and it's the hardest thing to do in this world.
Speaker 1: I'm still on that journey. I'm still on that journey.
Speaker 1: I have late days where I don't even want to
Speaker 1: get out of bed, where I feel poisonous. But getting
Speaker 1: closer to yourself is the hardest thing. So that's my
Speaker 1: last thing. And you know I love you. I love
Speaker 1: you too. By the way, where can they follow you
Speaker 1: and check out your music and check out how late
Speaker 1: you are and oh the red table talk. I'm being
Speaker 1: that Triangle porn slash only fans. No, just kidding, Okay,
Speaker 1: step you can follow me on hashtag I am a
Speaker 1: super fan of Stog. I'm out at will change the world,
Speaker 1: I'm stog, I'm out as that bitch hashtag I'm out
Speaker 1: as the Golden Bitch. Yes, yes, like Ellina, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. But I feel that this conversation is so important.
Speaker 1: I feel by the way today you found out some
Speaker 1: some stuff about me, just in case you didn't know.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to be open and I want to
Speaker 1: be honest. And I think that exactly Amata is that
Speaker 1: space where I don't want to judge you. This is
Speaker 1: not a space for me to judge anybody. I just
Speaker 1: want to hear your point your point of view. I
Speaker 1: want to know your perspective in life. I want to
Speaker 1: know you know what your future looks like, and find
Speaker 1: a space where you don't feel like you know I'm
Speaker 1: here to tell you what's right or what's wrong. No,
Speaker 1: that's not what exactly Amata is. AMNA is a safe space,
Speaker 1: um and it's also a space for us to get
Speaker 1: educated and share this information with other people. That's why
Speaker 1: I want you to make sure to rate us. Make
Speaker 1: sure to rate us and give us five stars, and
Speaker 1: make sure to share this podcast with anybody that you know.
Speaker 1: If you know anybody that's going through a situation similar
Speaker 1: or that might need to hear this, please make sure
Speaker 1: that they hear this podcast because we did this with
Speaker 1: so much love, with so much respect. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: was just gonna tell you something that you didn't know.
Speaker 1: It was a little bit of a secret, but you know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna drop that t right now real quick. That
Speaker 1: day that we did the Red Table Talk episode, yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a little bit of tea. Yeah, tiny bit
Speaker 1: of tea. That day that we did the Red Table
Speaker 1: Talk episode. Um, you know, my grandma passed away before
Speaker 1: I got to tell her about my sexuality and everything.
Speaker 1: That was like a whole thing regarding my coming out.
Speaker 1: And ever since she's passed away, I've had certain moments
Speaker 1: of validation that I feel like I've been like sent
Speaker 1: from angels, And even in that moment, I feel bad
Speaker 1: because I'm like, damn, this should be going to the person,
Speaker 1: but I'm receiving it, and your mom pulled me aside
Speaker 1: that day and she was like, Mommy, mommy, mommy, Yo,
Speaker 1: say okay yo, you know I want to know ya
Speaker 1: ya you think like she validated you know? And I
Speaker 1: was like, whoa. We're living in a world now where
Speaker 1: older generations are learning and growing and they're willing to
Speaker 1: do so for us and for your mom, who I
Speaker 1: had just met that day, to validate something that you know,
Speaker 1: my grandma passed before she could do, Like, that's something
Speaker 1: that I will never forget. So I wanted to just
Speaker 1: tell you that and extend my love to her because
Speaker 1: you know, it might have been tough for you, and
Speaker 1: I know that that's difficult, but I think that she's
Speaker 1: growing and involving because she really validated me that day.
Speaker 1: So I'm just telling you killen that know, I mean,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. My mom is such a great person.
Speaker 1: But being let me tell you something, the only reason
Speaker 1: why the older generation is be more open minded is
Speaker 1: because of people like you and me. It's because of
Speaker 1: people like us that we're willing to um educate them
Speaker 1: and we're willing to show them that this is love.
Speaker 1: We don't mean to harm anyone, We're not doing anything wrong.
Speaker 1: We just want to be accepted for who we are,
Speaker 1: and if who we are is not the perfect version
Speaker 1: of what you visioned for us, that's okay too. So
Speaker 1: it took me a long time to get her to
Speaker 1: where she she's at now, but now she's more open
Speaker 1: minded and more understanding, and she'll ask me things like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna, okay, getta see there? So what is that?
Speaker 1: And I like her asking questions. I want you to ask.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be ignorant and sit there
Speaker 1: and judge because you don't understand it. So I think
Speaker 1: that that's important. And you know what, if you have
Speaker 1: any questions and you don't understand, feel free to slide
Speaker 1: up in Emily's d M and ask her whatever questions.
Speaker 1: But you're gonna exactly yes DM her. But you canna
Speaker 1: also go to exactly a model on all social media platforms.
Speaker 1: Go check us out on our youth tup channel at
Speaker 1: Amada la Negra a l N or exactly a Mata
Speaker 1: on the search bar. Don't forget to rate us, rate
Speaker 1: us five stars because you know that our show is
Speaker 1: late Gang Gang Gang. And remember to also share share
Speaker 1: this podcast with anybody that you know that's going through it.
Speaker 1: Anybody that you feel that this conversation they need to
Speaker 1: hear this, whether it's a parent, whether it's an uncle,
Speaker 1: whether it's a sister, whether it's someone who's going through
Speaker 1: the transition or trying to understand them their sexuality at
Speaker 1: this moment. Feel free to share this podcast because you
Speaker 1: know that we're doing this with so much love and
Speaker 1: as respectful as possible, Even though that you know that
Speaker 1: I'm scandalous. This has been a production of I Heart
Speaker 1: Radios micro through that podcast network. I am so honored.
Speaker 1: Oh and you already know you cannot not not not
Speaker 1: miss the Red Table Talk. Same deal, and they really
Speaker 1: be meta. They got some tea and they really be
Speaker 1: hitting some valid points that we do have to check
Speaker 1: out as well. For more podcasts from my Heart, visit
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you
Speaker 1: like to listen to your favorite podcast. Emily Est Fine
Speaker 1: chees amount to get asses for coming through Hit me
Speaker 1: with the shoulders. With the shoulders, y'all, y'all, they do
Speaker 1: so much for coming through your amazing guys. You already
Speaker 1: know we're here every Thursday. You are you are needed,
Speaker 1: You are needed, This podcast is needed. They I'm all
Speaker 1: many many more than honest thank you, Mommy, no, thank
Speaker 1: you