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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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Speaker 1: Today's tip is to steer clear of deprivation. When you're

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Speaker 1: trying to take something out of your life, replace it

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Speaker 1: with something else that's just a special. When this episode

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Speaker 1: first airs, some listeners may have recently finished participating in

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Speaker 1: Dry January, that is, they gave up alcohol for the

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Speaker 1: month of January. Many people give something up for Lent

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Speaker 1: each year. Or there may be things in your life

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Speaker 1: that you're aiming to reduce or eliminate permanently as a

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Speaker 1: new Year's resolution or as a long term goal. Perhaps

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Speaker 1: you've given up soda or caffeine, or you're reducing how

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Speaker 1: often you eat out or how much TV you watch.

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Speaker 1: Lots of goals like these fail because deprivation is of fun.

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Speaker 1: You used to have a cocktail with your partner before dinner,

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Speaker 1: and now you don't. You used to sit outside to

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Speaker 1: have a cup of coffee every morning, and now you've

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Speaker 1: given up caffeine, and with it, it seems the fresh

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Speaker 1: air and the sense of pause before a hectic day.

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Speaker 1: You used to eat out most nights, and now you're

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Speaker 1: at home looking in the fridge, feeling hungry and yet

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Speaker 1: seeing nothing interesting for dinner. Moments like these feel like

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Speaker 1: self deprivation, not self improvement, And maybe you can deprive

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Speaker 1: yourself for a while, but it's generally not a recipe

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Speaker 1: for lasting change. I'm not sure how wise it is

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Speaker 1: to fight against ourselves for things like this. Sometimes getting

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Speaker 1: too focused on what we're not doing can isolate us

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Speaker 1: from other people or distract us from more important pursuits,

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Speaker 1: things we want to and should be doing. So instead

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Speaker 1: of mustering lots of self control not to do something,

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Speaker 1: try replacing the behavior you want to reduce with something

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Speaker 1: just as special but better for you. For instance, if

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Speaker 1: you are cutting out alcohol, try some flavored Seltzer's or

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Speaker 1: herbal teas and bring back the elementary school delight of

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Speaker 1: a Shirley Temple or Roy Rogers. Get creative by mixing

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Speaker 1: your own mock tails. You can also replace the ritual

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Speaker 1: of cocktail hour with an altogether different activity, like taking

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Speaker 1: a walk, doing yoga, or having a meaningful conversation with

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Speaker 1: your partner. May be guided by questions designed to prompt

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Speaker 1: deeper connection. The idea is that you're not depriving yourself

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Speaker 1: of alcohol and its association with unwinding and connecting at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day. Instead, you are replacing that

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Speaker 1: pleasure with something else just as appealing. If you are

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Speaker 1: cutting down on refined sugar, have interesting fruit after dinner,

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Speaker 1: it's still sweet. A bowl of clementines or a plotter

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Speaker 1: of fruits and cheeses can provide an elegant and satisfying

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Speaker 1: end to a meal. Maybe eating out is what you're reducing,

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Speaker 1: then make sure the meals you have at home are

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Speaker 1: fun to prepare and tasty to eat. You could get

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Speaker 1: a cook book at the library or sign up for

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Speaker 1: a mule kit service to jump start your home cooking efforts.

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Speaker 1: And please spend what you want at the grocery store.

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Speaker 1: You could buy a lot of fancy groceries for the

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Speaker 1: cost of a restaurant meal, and having the good stuff

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Speaker 1: on hand will make you feel excited about what's in

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Speaker 1: the fridge. Of course, some pleasures have been eliminated from

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Speaker 1: our lives of late by circumstance, but even in the

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Speaker 1: face of coronavirus restrictions, we can find some replacements. Can't

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Speaker 1: go to the gym right now, try meeting up with

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Speaker 1: your gym buddy for a run or by cried. Instead,

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Speaker 1: can't go out to dinner with friends, call them more often,

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Speaker 1: or host an outdoor get together at your house. Instead

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Speaker 1: of depriving yourself for lamenting deprivations you didn't choose, try

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Speaker 1: to find pleasure and enjoyment in new ways. Even if

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Speaker 1: your old delight is off the table right now, you

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Speaker 1: can aim to make your new experiences just as special.

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Speaker 1: In the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.

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Speaker 1: That's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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Speaker 1: podcast at iHeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast is

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Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I

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Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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Speaker 1: production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I

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Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Yeah,