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Speaker 1: All right, for your phone tap. One of our brand

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Speaker 1: new characters is back, one of my favorite characters. Actually,

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Speaker 1: his name is mister Bruce Winks for yes, mister Bruce.

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Speaker 1: He's an elementary school teacher who's stuck in the seventies

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Speaker 1: and just can't help himself from hitting on all the

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Speaker 1: divorced mommies who drop off their kiddies. God, he just

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Speaker 1: gives me the I love this guy. It really is

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Speaker 1: not that far in the future. Okay. This is the

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Speaker 1: dialogue that just goes on in my head when I'm

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Speaker 1: talking to women. It comes out of my mouth somewhat normal,

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Speaker 1: but this is what it sounds like in my head.

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Speaker 1: Here's your brand new phone tapes. Hello, Hey, is this

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Speaker 1: Ethan's mommy? Um, yes, this is Carrie. Hey, Carrie, mother

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Speaker 1: of Ethan. Right, do I know you? Not officially, My

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Speaker 1: name's mister Bruce. Bruce winks for pleasure, to make your acquaintance. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Ethan is in my science class. I just wanted to

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Speaker 1: call and tell you what a pleasure it was having

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Speaker 1: him around this year. Oh, thank you. Um, he really

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Speaker 1: likes So. I was talking to Ethan and he said,

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Speaker 1: Mommy is flying solo for the moment and maybe mommy

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Speaker 1: needs a co pilot. Um, I'm sorry, I'm not understanding

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Speaker 1: what you're getting at. Well, I know that we have

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Speaker 1: never officially met, but i've seen but I've seen you

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Speaker 1: pick him up from school on many occasions. So I

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Speaker 1: simply asked the other day if there was a daddy

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Speaker 1: for the mommy. I'm sorry, I'll go ahead and help

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Speaker 1: you out here. No, no, no, I don't need help. Um,

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Speaker 1: I think I think I got it. Yeah, yeah, Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, you haven't even heard me out yet. No,

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Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, I've seen you pick him

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Speaker 1: up from school on many occasions, and I must say

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Speaker 1: you are just mister Bruce's type. Oh okay, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it was implied earlier, but I am not

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Speaker 1: interested in Well, hey, nobody ever hit a home run

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Speaker 1: without swinging for the fences. Right. Where do you get

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Speaker 1: off hitting on me and calling me at home because

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Speaker 1: my son told you that I'm single? Well, hey, I

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Speaker 1: figured you'd take it as a compliment. Why excuse me? No,

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Speaker 1: I don't take it as a compliment. He sounds creepy.

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Speaker 1: Well that hurt. Well, if you should say twice about

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Speaker 1: doing this. It's ridiculous. Kitten kitting. Calm down, kitten, Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: excuse me. Hey, I'm just trying to no no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: do not do not. Clause come out? Okay me ow no.

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Speaker 1: I gotta tell you something. I gotta tell you. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to hear you. You want to hear this.

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Speaker 1: The clause have come out, and I like it. You

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Speaker 1: are not to call me ever again. I hear You're

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Speaker 1: saying a whole bunch of words right now, and none

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Speaker 1: of them are yes. Mister Bruce, I will meet you

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Speaker 1: for a date, a date. Have you not been listening

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Speaker 1: to anything that I've been saying to here? Have you

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Speaker 1: never had ritz crackers, cheese, whiz en vino before? That

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Speaker 1: is disgusting? All right? If you don't like that, how

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Speaker 1: about you let me take you out to Panera sometime.

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Speaker 1: That is even more disgusting. I okay, this is not happening.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to go on a dat with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going on a date with you. I already

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Speaker 1: have a husband, Okay, I am with someone. I don't

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Speaker 1: need this. So you're saying you have a hubby. What

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Speaker 1: did I just say? His name is Jesse and he's

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Speaker 1: going to beat the sh out of you. Oh I

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Speaker 1: don't think so, because Jesse I do. I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: Oh you have no idea. That's where you're wrong. Funky bunch,

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Speaker 1: funny bunch. What decade are you from. Let's just say

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Speaker 1: I lived an unprotected life in the seventies. Okay, this

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Speaker 1: is disgusting. I am I'm getting off. No, don't hey,

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Speaker 1: don't hang up, kitten, don't hang up. I swear to God,

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Speaker 1: you call me kitten one more time. I will be

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Speaker 1: the I just have to let you know that it's

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Speaker 1: a I will be the show. Just have to let

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Speaker 1: you know that it's a prank phone call. That's all,

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Speaker 1: and then will be done. You can go about your day. Yes, kitten,

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Speaker 1: I'm just trying to stop. Stop calling me kitten. What

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Speaker 1: do you say? I said, I'm just trying to hip

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Speaker 1: you to the game? No, no, no no, no, no no, no no.

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Speaker 1: You said something before he said you what did you say?

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Speaker 1: This was a prank phone call. It's a little joke.

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Speaker 1: Action for you? Who is panking me? Who? For you?

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Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Mister Bruce is pranking you

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Speaker 1: know who? I don't know. Yeah, this is actually jewel

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Speaker 1: from Brook and Jewel in the morning doing a phone

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Speaker 1: tap on you. No, it's a joke, my god. No,

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Speaker 1: your ex husband Jesse set you up. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: He says. He said that you told him the other

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Speaker 1: day that you were ready to date, so he wanted

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Speaker 1: me to screw with you a little bit. Hey, But

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Speaker 1: mister Bruce never got an answer to his question, are

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Speaker 1: you ready to date? Not doing that voice, but it's

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Speaker 1: just so freezy. God, week up every morning with Jubel

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Speaker 1: phone tabs weekday mornings on the twenties two point five