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Speaker 1: All right, break it down.

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Speaker 2: If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy

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Speaker 2: and Cat gotcha Covin locking No, brother, Ladies and folks,

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Speaker 2: do you just follow Ann the spirit where it's all

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Speaker 2: the front over real stuff to the chill stuff and

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Speaker 2: the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can

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Speaker 2: do it just.

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Speaker 1: You feel things.

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Speaker 2: This is feeling things with.

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Speaker 3: Amy and Kat.

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Speaker 4: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Kat.

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Speaker 4: And feeling of the day is annoyed because the question is,

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Speaker 4: I mean, is there anyone we can trust anymore? And

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Speaker 4: if so, how do we know we can trust them?

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Speaker 4: Because I already feel like I had to let go

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Speaker 4: of Jay Shetty and now Mel Robbins, so I need

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Speaker 4: to know who we can trust.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm glad you're asking that question because you

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Speaker 3: know what today.

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Speaker 4: Is the Mel Robin's Deep Dive.

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Speaker 3: It's our first official deep dive. So this is something

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Speaker 3: we'll do from time to time. I'll do it with

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Speaker 3: you and then you'll do it with me, and we'll

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Speaker 3: take turns teaching each other something. And it can be

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Speaker 3: about a person, a thing in pop culture, just a

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Speaker 3: random idea we want to learn about and we're starting

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Speaker 3: with Mel Robbins and her let them theory, and you

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Speaker 3: are the teacher and I'm the teacher. I am the student,

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Speaker 3: you are the student, and.

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Speaker 4: I was the biggest Mel Robins fan. And not saying

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Speaker 4: that I'm not in general, I still follow I'll dabble.

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Speaker 4: I like guess that she has on. I just have

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Speaker 4: found myself increasingly bummed. I guess would be the feeling

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Speaker 4: of like or just kind of this weird feeling okay, disappointed,

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Speaker 4: could work or just confuse like it's it's more of

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Speaker 4: a feeling like I don't even know that I've got

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Speaker 4: the exact word other.

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Speaker 3: Than like ick, yeah an eh, I'm.

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Speaker 4: Getting it, just like sometimes I'm like eugh, I was

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Speaker 4: reading her book. I have followed her for years and

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Speaker 4: enjoyed a lot of her stuff. I have learned a

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Speaker 4: lot from her. I've learned a lot from her guests.

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Speaker 4: I have shared a lot of her information. I've regurgitated

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Speaker 4: it on my own podcasts and quoting her, of course

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Speaker 4: not as my own stuff, but it's someone that I

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, we need to be paying attention to

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Speaker 4: this person. And I do think that she is helping

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Speaker 4: in a certain way. But I know through your deep

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Speaker 4: dive research you wouldn't necessarily define her as a helper,

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Speaker 4: and I'm very curious as to why that is in

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Speaker 4: what category we actually should put her in. But back

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Speaker 4: to her latest book, I was trying to read it,

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Speaker 4: and that's when the just really started to seep in

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Speaker 4: because of the controversy around let them theory and where

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Speaker 4: it originally came from. Because as an avid follower of hers,

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Speaker 4: I know when I first saw her post about it,

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Speaker 4: I remember being in my.

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Speaker 3: Closet, well, you're getting to have yourself.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I won't get ahead because I know you're the teacher,

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Speaker 4: but I'm just letting you know. That's when, yeah, the

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Speaker 4: and the unease started to set in. Yeah, because I

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Speaker 4: couldn't even finish the book because that was a controversy

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Speaker 4: that gained a lot of attention online. There's a lot

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Speaker 4: of podcasts about it, there's a lot of threads about

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Speaker 4: it all over the place, and so you can do

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Speaker 4: your own research into it, but it just gave me

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Speaker 4: the the ick and I couldn't finish it, which then

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Speaker 4: those articles and podcasts led me into more research, and

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Speaker 4: then now I'm just.

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Speaker 3: Disenchanted. Yeah, that's a good word. She's somebody you or

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Speaker 3: I know. This is how I felt. I want to

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Speaker 3: like her. I want to like her so bad, but

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Speaker 3: there's something also, yes, this disenchantment with that. You're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: the screen has been lifted, like we see behind the

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Speaker 3: curtain and we don't like what we see. And one

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Speaker 3: thing that I kind of relate it back to is

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Speaker 3: there was there was a job I had at one

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Speaker 3: point in my life and it was like my dream job,

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Speaker 3: Like I could not believe that I was chosen to

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Speaker 3: work there. And I started working there in this this

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Speaker 3: very evident, like unethical thing was just running around the workplace.

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Speaker 3: And this is in the mental health field. There's a

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Speaker 3: bunch of therapists, so it's it was pretty black and

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Speaker 3: white that it was unethical, but everybody knew about it.

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Speaker 3: And that's what led me to quit because I said

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Speaker 3: to my I loved my boss. I looked up to

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Speaker 3: him so much. I thought he was very wise, and

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Speaker 3: he wasn't like in charge of the thing that was unethical.

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Speaker 3: He was like stepped down. But I said to him,

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Speaker 3: I said, I can't stay here anymore because I know

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Speaker 3: about this, and you know about this, and we all

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Speaker 3: know about this, and I'm not privy to a lot

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Speaker 3: of the insider information, but you are. So if you're

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Speaker 3: showing us this and it's that bad, what are you

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Speaker 3: not showing us? And he didn't really say anything. He

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Speaker 3: just was like, all right, get your stuff out here,

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Speaker 3: and then a lot of people quit too. And that's

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Speaker 3: what kind of this feels like, is we know this

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Speaker 3: is So we'll get into the what you're talking about.

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Speaker 3: The controversy around her book. We all know about that.

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Speaker 3: It is so obvious, there's proof, it's all the timelines,

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Speaker 3: so that's there, and she's just acting like it doesn't exist.

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Speaker 4: I don't know how it has not been addressed on

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Speaker 4: her end at all whatsoever. I am really that perplexes me.

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Speaker 3: So what we're going to look at is where she comes,

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Speaker 3: where she comes from, like how did she get here?

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Speaker 3: Who is she? And then we'll look at the book

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Speaker 3: and I think there's some there's some criticism around just

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Speaker 3: the book in general, and then this controversy which is

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Speaker 3: also there at the same time, which since we're dancing

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Speaker 3: around it, I'll just say it. There's the main point

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Speaker 3: of her book seems to be seems to be taken

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Speaker 3: from a smaller, less known artist writer, and it's pretty

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Speaker 3: evident and there's a lot of proof in it, but

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Speaker 3: she's refusing to acknowledge.

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Speaker 4: It, which a simple acknowledgment. That's what so blows my

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Speaker 4: mind crazy. She could still write the book totally and

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Speaker 4: then just like credit this person, which even that both

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Speaker 4: of them, even that girl which I'm sure you get

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Speaker 4: into it, and I have her name and everything. I

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Speaker 4: don't even remember her name, Cassie, Cassie, that's it. Okay,

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Speaker 4: so Cassie, I think also the idea of let them.

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Speaker 4: Who knows how many people before Cassie have even said okay,

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Speaker 4: let them, Okay, let them. I saw a funny video

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Speaker 4: from some girl in New York the other day. She's like,

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Speaker 4: you want me to give you the New York version

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Speaker 4: of mel Robins let them theory.

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Speaker 3: She's like Ethelm, She's.

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Speaker 4: Like, someone does this to you, Yeah, someone does that

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Speaker 4: to you.

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Speaker 3: Ef it Well, it just was. It was really funny.

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Speaker 3: It made me laugh. But it's not revolutionary. Even Cassie.

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Speaker 4: Her poem, even poem, I get in trouble for how

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Speaker 4: I say poem. I don't say it correctly.

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Speaker 3: I get it. Oh go I'm so used to you

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Speaker 3: saying it like that, You're.

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Speaker 4: Used to me saying poem. Cassie's poem about let them

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Speaker 4: it went viral, and I don't think Cassie would say

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Speaker 4: that she's even with that viral poem poem, that she's

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Speaker 4: the first person that's ever had this idea of let.

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Speaker 3: Them, you know, And yeah, we'll get into that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's wild, it's interesting. And I before we Cassie Phillips,

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Speaker 3: yes that's her name, before we go deeper into this,

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Speaker 3: I do want to say, I am just sharing you

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Speaker 3: with what I have found, and I'm sharing a couple

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Speaker 3: opinions I have made based on what I have found.

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Speaker 3: But I really not trying to just like bash her.

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Speaker 3: I think if I was honest, what I really wanted

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Speaker 3: to find is that she was what we want her

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Speaker 3: to be because we all want somebody to look up to,

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Speaker 3: we all want somebody to trust, We all are looking

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Speaker 3: for somebody to guide us. And I discovered her or

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Speaker 3: I first heard about her when she had her ted

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Speaker 3: talk how to get people to stop screening you over

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Speaker 3: or how there was something about screwing people over where

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Speaker 3: I'm like twenty eleven and have you heard it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I've watched Okay, of course I had a big fan,

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Speaker 4: big fan, but it was it was old, so yeah,

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Speaker 4: I didn't know. If it's not how I discovered her, though,

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Speaker 4: I think I first heard of her with her five

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Speaker 4: second Rule and somewhere on Instagram she came up and

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Speaker 4: I immediately started following her, and then of course I

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Speaker 4: started high fiving myself in the Mirror.

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Speaker 3: Which was one of her books.

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Speaker 4: Yes, and then I would do the five four three

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Speaker 4: two one Get out of Bed. And I liked all

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Speaker 4: of her science back tips and tricks and hacks. I

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Speaker 4: was a sucker for it all, and I still think

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Speaker 4: that they could be helpful. I know that that's how

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Speaker 4: I was exposed her. And then I think I went

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Speaker 4: back and watched some of her viral YouTube stuff and

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Speaker 4: her TED talks and stuff that put her on the

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Speaker 4: map with a lot of people. And then I would

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Speaker 4: talk to you about her all the time. And I

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Speaker 4: think it's worth noting that if people didn't gather from

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Speaker 4: you working at that mental health place, that you're a

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Speaker 4: licensed therapist, in case anybody's listening, that is new.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and when I was on your fifth thing, you

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Speaker 3: talked about her a lot, and I could take quiet

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Speaker 3: because people probably are like, wait, you guys used to

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Speaker 3: always talk about her, like we used to have a

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Speaker 3: joke of like take a shot and once you were

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Speaker 3: a say Mel Robbins, like, oh gosh, I forgot about that.

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Speaker 3: So you talked about her all the time, and I

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Speaker 3: went along with it because I know that I'm somebody

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Speaker 3: who is very it's critical of the right word, it's

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Speaker 3: very skeptical. I'm very skeptical.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, their standism, and I like in your blood yeah.

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Speaker 3: Which I don't love. Then I do at the same time,

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Speaker 3: but I get sick of that part of me. So

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Speaker 3: I'm like, Catherine, let her, let her, let her, like

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Speaker 3: Mel Robbins, if she's helping her, let her help her,

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Speaker 3: And that is I still believe that if if she's

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Speaker 3: helping you, that's okay. We don't have to throw the

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Speaker 3: baby out with the bathwater. You can take parts of

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Speaker 3: this and also know when you need to like set

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Speaker 3: a boundary for yourself or know when to say, okay,

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Speaker 3: this makes sense, But I don't have to take all

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Speaker 3: of it at the same time. And so if you're listening,

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Speaker 3: you're like, you guys used to talk about her all

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Speaker 3: the time you are hypocrites kind of. But also we

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Speaker 3: have more information now well, and that's part of it.

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Speaker 4: I think this is an example too of well critical thinking,

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Speaker 4: which we've discussed previously, and then evolving and figuring out

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Speaker 4: what works and what doesn't work. I mean, there are

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Speaker 4: things that I would get from Mel that I would

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Speaker 4: even try out myself and it just didn't sit right,

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Speaker 4: Like it didn't feel right, like I in the mirror or.

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Speaker 3: You like, no, that worked. Now I kind of like that.

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Speaker 3: I don't mind that so much.

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Speaker 4: And then you know, even the five second role, like

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Speaker 4: I get the stuff behind it, but sometimes it's just

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Speaker 4: like the simplest stuff that you need, sort of like

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Speaker 4: drink water.

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Speaker 3: But how is she writing this is my question? How

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Speaker 3: did she write a whole book on counting to five

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Speaker 3: and let them like that could.

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Speaker 4: Be read the five second role?

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Speaker 3: So I'm not sure, Like that's an art that's near

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Speaker 3: here and more there. So okay, we could talk about

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Speaker 3: this forever. I could talk about this topic for five hours,

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Speaker 3: So for the sake of time, shall we all right?

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Speaker 3: So before we get into the juice, I did find

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Speaker 3: this idea on a very credible website.

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Speaker 4: What's the website Reddit. Oh yeah, super credible.

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Speaker 3: And I was reading threads just of people's opinions on Melan,

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Speaker 3: you know, leading me down a black hole, and somebody

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Speaker 3: said this. I just thought I'd never heard this before.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was interesting. The term is cruel optimism,

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Speaker 3: and that shows up. It shows up, I think in

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Speaker 3: a lot of her content, and specifically her book, but

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Speaker 3: it shows up with a lot of self help content.

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Speaker 3: And of course in the comment somebody was like, I'm

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Speaker 3: not familiar. What is cruel optimism? And this is what

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Speaker 3: the person said. It comes from the philosopher Lorne Berlant

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Speaker 3: and describes in a way, the sort of false hope

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Speaker 3: attachments people are given which redirect them from changing their

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Speaker 3: material reality. Most self help books provide a surface level

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Speaker 3: false sense of solution which actually distracts people from making

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Speaker 3: change in the material reality underlying their suffering. So essentially,

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Speaker 3: it's what it's saying is it makes people feel better

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Speaker 3: about their circumstances without actually addressing the underlying issues. So

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Speaker 3: it keeps them stuck, and it becomes a tool of

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Speaker 3: actually reinforcing what's actually happening, and it works against them.

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Speaker 4: So would grow an actual work on yourself like deep

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Speaker 4: dinner work. Then that's what leads to us the veil

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Speaker 4: being lifted in us being like.

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Speaker 3: What yeah, I am I well, and that's I think

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Speaker 3: following this person. Yeah. The criticism of the let them

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Speaker 3: theory and like the five four three two one and

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Speaker 3: all that stuff is when you're reading that stuff. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I've had this feeling too, and I've read self help books.

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Speaker 3: You're like, oh my gosh, highlighting it like this just

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Speaker 3: makes so much sense. I'm going to do this. And

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Speaker 3: then when you actually do those things, they don't change

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Speaker 3: anything about your life. They'll let them actually keeps you

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Speaker 3: further away from actually addressing the issues that you have,

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Speaker 3: creating boundaries for people in your life, having intentional conversation,

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Speaker 3: confronting people, Like confronting people is part of real relationships.

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Speaker 3: And so I just wanted to say that as we'll

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Speaker 3: get back into it, but I thought it was just

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Speaker 3: an interesting idea that it seems like and that's why

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Speaker 3: it's the cruel optimism. It seems like you're like, yes,

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Speaker 3: this is going to change my life, but it keeps

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Speaker 3: you exactly the same exactly.

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Speaker 4: It's sort of like you're just you're hopping onto this

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Speaker 4: wheel and you don't ever get off unless you dig deeper. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but the tips are designed to keep you surface.

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Speaker 3: And I think that creates this the wheel. I like

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Speaker 3: that idea. That's like coming back to that person. Right,

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Speaker 3: So if I'm like I'm waiting for her next book,

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Speaker 3: that's going to solve the next problem. And that's a

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Speaker 3: marketing tactic like always leave, leave somebody needing the next thing.

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Speaker 3: So like this book sets you up, it creates, it

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Speaker 3: solves this problem, but it creates another problem. Somebody was

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Speaker 3: talking to me about this, Hannah Ellis, she's an esthetician.

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Speaker 3: She was like, the beauty industry does that, so they'll

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Speaker 3: create a product that solves this. Like back in the day,

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Speaker 3: grapefruit scrub. It cleaned out your pores. Well, guess what

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Speaker 3: it gave you dry skin? So then what was the

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Speaker 3: next thing, morturizer. Yes, so it's the same idea. Okay.

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Speaker 3: So I wanted to know when I started this, like

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Speaker 3: where does mel come from? What's her background? What gives

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Speaker 3: her the right to be saying these things? And I

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Speaker 3: have to say she's very credited, like she has degrees.

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Speaker 3: She went to Dartmouth, Dartmouth, Dartmouth Dartmouth Dartmouth poem.

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Speaker 1: She went.

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Speaker 3: She went to Dartmouth's right, and then she went to

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Speaker 3: Boston College for law school. So she is smart to

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Speaker 3: be able to get into both of those schools. And

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Speaker 3: she was a public defender. I think it was for

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Speaker 3: a while. And then she moved to Michigan for her

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Speaker 3: husband's schooling, I think business school or something. And when

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Speaker 3: she did that, she wanted to change careers, which I

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Speaker 3: would get that, like you want something different? Well, who

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Speaker 3: do you think she talked to about changing careers? Like,

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Speaker 3: if you wanted to change careers, who would you call

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Speaker 3: to help you figure out where you want to go?

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Speaker 4: Well, I mean I would just call a friend, Okay,

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Speaker 4: I phone home. I don't know, like i'd call my sister.

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Speaker 4: Who did she call?

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Speaker 3: She called a life coach.

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Speaker 1: Oh see, I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't have one of those. But which maybe she

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Speaker 3: started seeing a life coach and the life coach ended

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Speaker 3: up saying like, and this comes from an article, I

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Speaker 3: want to give credit where credit is due. This comes

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Speaker 3: from an article by Rachel Baker, and it was in

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Speaker 3: the Boston magazine in two thousand and seven, so this

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Speaker 3: was before she got super big. So she went to

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Speaker 3: a life coach. The life coach was like, you should

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Speaker 3: be doing what I'm doing, and Mel was like yeah,

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Speaker 3: And so how do you think she learned to become

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Speaker 3: a life coach.

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Speaker 4: From her life coach? So she was trained like the

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Speaker 4: life coach saw something in her and was like, wow,

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Speaker 4: you'd be really good at this. So then she decided

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Speaker 4: show me your ways and like take me under your

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Speaker 4: wing and then I'll spread my own.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So she it says in that this article she

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Speaker 3: trained for two years under this person by phone, email

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Speaker 3: and an in person visits occasionally, like just training over email.

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Speaker 3: I guess it was twenty and seven. Things were different

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Speaker 3: back then. Probably wasn't Zoom, No, was their Skype? Maybe maybe? Okay,

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Speaker 3: So then she became a life coach. So by two

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Speaker 3: thousand and seven, so this is what eighteen years ago.

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Speaker 3: How much do you think she was charging in two

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Speaker 3: thousand and seven? How much do you think she was

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Speaker 3: charging in two thousand and seven for life coaching.

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Speaker 4: I'm just gonna guess five hundred an hour?

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Speaker 3: No, no, three fifty okay, but that's a lot like that,

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Speaker 3: don't even charge that's double my rate as a therapist.

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Speaker 3: So that's two thousand and seven. That's what blew my mind. Like, honestly,

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Speaker 3: life coaches their rates are cucko these days.

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Speaker 4: And they're not they're not certified, Yeah, like I mean,

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Speaker 4: I guess they if you could be training under somebody,

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Speaker 4: but do I have to have training or a certificate?

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Speaker 3: No. You could to make yourself look credible, but there's

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Speaker 3: no actual like you don't have to. I think that

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Speaker 3: they're also I will say this, I think that there's

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Speaker 3: a place for life coaches. I'm not against them when

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Speaker 3: people stay in their lane and they do know like

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Speaker 3: what they're actually coaching on somebody on. I think there's

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Speaker 3: a time and a place for it. Do I think

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Speaker 3: sometimes they charge too much? Yes, but there's not like

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Speaker 3: a governing body of them.

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Speaker 4: So I would say an average therapist though, just that

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Speaker 4: has schooling and all the credentials, which there is a

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Speaker 4: difference between a therapist and a life coach. Yeah, but

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Speaker 4: I would say most therapists are probably like what one

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Speaker 4: hundred and fifty an hour.

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Speaker 3: Depends on where you live, Okay, I think in New

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Speaker 3: York five hundred dollars wouldn't surprise me. In Naturville, you're

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Speaker 3: gonna find between a licensed therapist, like one fifty to

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Speaker 3: two fifty, and there's reasons why they would be higher

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Speaker 3: and lower based on different trainings, certifications you have. And

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Speaker 3: you said, it's the same thing, like therapists can also

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Speaker 3: price gouge people. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So it's like a bottle of water at the gas

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Speaker 4: station and the bottle of water at the airport. The

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Speaker 4: same bottle of water, you just charge more.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so okay, that was shocking to me. So she

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Speaker 3: became a life coach and then she had this syndicated

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Speaker 3: radio show called make It Happen with Mel?

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Speaker 4: Was that on serious?

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Speaker 3: I think so? And now I was looking for if

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Speaker 3: I could like listen to an old episode of or something,

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Speaker 3: So I typed in like make it Happen with Mel,

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Speaker 3: And now that just leads you to her website and

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Speaker 3: she has like a two part online coaching program called

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Speaker 3: make It Happen with Mel. I don't know how much

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Speaker 3: she's charging though, because I didn't want to sign up

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Speaker 3: for her email list.

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Speaker 4: She still has that business.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's it was kind of hard if you

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Speaker 3: didn't actually type in make it Happen with Mel. It

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Speaker 3: was hard to find it on her website just by

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Speaker 3: going through it, so she still does it, but I

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Speaker 3: it looks like it's like a pre recorded coaching sessions,

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Speaker 3: so who knows how much she could be charging for that,

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Speaker 3: So she has that side business. So this also was

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Speaker 3: very interesting to me. And this gets me into like

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Speaker 3: my kind of thoughts and opinions on her. I think

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Speaker 3: she's a genius. I think she is so smart. I

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Speaker 3: do think she has helped people, but I also think

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Speaker 3: that again my opinion, she is a businesswoman, not a helper.

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Speaker 3: The helping is like almost by accident or it's like this,

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Speaker 3: like somehow this comes along sometimes to me. Her main

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Speaker 3: goal is business, which also is like we live in

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Speaker 3: a capitalist society, Like that makes sense. The way she

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Speaker 3: markets herself, the way she uses words in storytelling to

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Speaker 3: kind of rope you in and wrap you in is

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Speaker 3: incredible exhibit a her website. On her bio, she says,

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Speaker 3: at forty one, I was unemployed, drowning in debt, and

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Speaker 3: so overwhelmed that I could barely get out of bed.

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Speaker 3: Then everything changed with one simple tool, the five second rule.

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Speaker 3: It got me moving one small step at a time

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Speaker 3: and led me here. Now fifteen years later, I host

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Speaker 3: one of the world's biggest podcasts, and my books have

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Speaker 3: reached millions in over fifty languages. My work has changed

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Speaker 3: billions of lives and can empower you to Does anything

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Speaker 3: stick out to you?

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Speaker 4: Well, right now, my brain immediately goes to it's reminding

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Speaker 4: me of how Rachel Hollis would market herself as someone

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Speaker 4: that didn't even go to college and was just coming

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Speaker 4: up with recipes in her like a stay at home mom.

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Speaker 3: Baking started from the bottom now or now.

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Speaker 4: Yes, like leaving out the part of like, well, okay,

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Speaker 4: marrying a Disney executive, but that's a whole nother story

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Speaker 4: in itself, which okay, we're not going to derail. But

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Speaker 4: that's where my brain went of sometimes how you tell

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Speaker 4: a story and how you spin it can change everything.

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Speaker 4: And then your followers are like, oh, I didn't go

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Speaker 4: to college. I just make recipes at home. I could

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Speaker 4: be this person. I am in debt. I have failed

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Speaker 4: at this, but now look at mel All I have

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Speaker 4: to do is count down from five.

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Speaker 3: And also there's this essence of look how hard she

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Speaker 3: works to get there too, and like if I just

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Speaker 3: put in some hard work too, I can be there.

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Speaker 3: And I did the math when she was forty one.

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Speaker 3: It was like tw ten, twenty eleven. By that time,

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Speaker 3: she was charging three hundred and fifty dollars for life coaching.

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Speaker 3: She had a radio show, and she was on the

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Speaker 3: brink of her ted talk, which really catapulted her.

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Speaker 4: Say what is she referring to?

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Speaker 3: She she wasn't unemployed. She was self employed. She self

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Speaker 3: funded a lot of her endeavors, and that's why she

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Speaker 3: says drowning in debt. But she would probably took out

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Speaker 3: business loans to start this venture for herself.

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Speaker 4: Well, and then I think her husband had a restaurant

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Speaker 4: business that was failing, so that would invested a lot.

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Speaker 4: And so then there's that storyline of like all of

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Speaker 4: our money was poured into this restaurant and it was

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00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 4: going to fail. Okay, So she was employed, but by

436
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 4: herself she wasn't.

437
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, she wasn't unemployed. She was a life coach charging

438
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 3: three hundred and fifty dollars an hour, and she was

439
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 3: working with very high I mean she worked with a

440
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 3: lot of big people and a lot she helped a

441
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 3: lot of big companies. I think as well, well, I would.

442
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 4: Think charging that much back then you would have to

443
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 4: be working with successful.

444
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: People and I wonder too, because you can only find

445
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,679
Speaker 3: so much information. If she really didn't work for a

446
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 3: period of time, Let's say she stopped taking clients or something,

447
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 3: how long was that and was that by choice? Like this,

448
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 3: the way she wrote this, I just was like, you

449
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 3: act like you were on the brink of bankruptcy and

450
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 3: that you were living on the street. You probably were

451
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 3: living in a very nice house. You probably never really

452
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 3: changed your lifestyle that drastic. So that's where I'm like,

453
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 3: she is a genius.

454
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 4: And because it's not a lie.

455
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: It's not a lie, No, it's just the story is

456
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 3: told differently and she leaves certain parts out and nobody's

457
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:31,199
Speaker 3: asking these questions to her. She's very calculated, calculated, very charismatic,

458
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 3: and I just didn't buy that. And one of her

459
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,959
Speaker 3: big critiques that I read over and over was her arrogance. However,

460
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 3: there's part of that that I think I was attracted

461
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 3: to because she was so confident and she had the answer.

462
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 3: But then at the same time, it's it, there has

463
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 3: to be a crack somewhere. She hasn't let any of

464
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 3: that show, and when she does, I feel like even

465
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 3: that is calculated. Like we were talking earlier when she

466
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 3: shows that she's relatable, I'm like, is that story real

467
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 3: or did you just tell that story in.

468
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 4: A way that would benefit you in the sense that

469
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 4: she always has a relatable story, even with her guests

470
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 4: that come on, which that's what I was drawn to

471
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 4: as well. And I'm sure her story may be true.

472
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 3: Now I don't know. It might be.

473
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 4: True but not true, sort of like the first line

474
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 4: of her bio on her website. I guess it just

475
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 4: makes you wonder, which the whole reason behind doing this

476
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,199
Speaker 4: again is just so that you can decide if and

477
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 4: how you're going to trust people, because there's a lot

478
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 4: of people out there that are selling things and taking

479
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 4: up a lot of our time and taking up a

480
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 4: lot of our space. Yeah, and it's like, okay, then

481
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 4: with this information, then you can start to kind.

482
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 3: Of who's taking that space up, take a.

483
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 4: Peek behind the curtain a little bit, and see if

484
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 4: you want to keep going, and if you do, great,

485
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,120
Speaker 4: Because I guess I'm just reiterating it's not I don't

486
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 4: want this to feel like a session at all. It's

487
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 4: just interesting to look at it in that way, because

488
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 4: I don't know I would read the first line of that,

489
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 4: and I would be like, oh, interesting, now this could

490
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 4: happen to me. But because I know we're doing the

491
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 4: steep dive and you're giving this information, my brain instantly

492
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 4: went to other people I know that have now been

493
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 4: exposed and have a reputation of presenting themselves as one

494
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 4: way when it really was another.

495
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think we have to give it to

496
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 3: her that she puts herself out there. Like in one

497
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 3: of the articles I was reading, that was one of

498
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,760
Speaker 3: the things she was talking about. She was worried how

499
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 3: people were going to perceive her. But that's the price

500
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 3: you pay. But the price you pay for what? For

501
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 3: fame or for money? For what was the goal? Was

502
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 3: that the price you pay for wanting to reach more

503
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 3: people and help more people, or to make more money.

504
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 3: I don't have the answer to that, but I do.

505
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 3: This was just an interesting quote from that article by

506
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 3: Rachel Baker. She said to her, for TV, you need

507
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 3: to be relatable. The truth is I probably will never

508
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 3: have a weight issue because I run, I'm a healthy eater,

509
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 3: and I'm disciplined. That's a liability. My challenge is will

510
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 3: they relate to me because I'm a mom and I'm

511
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 3: from the Midwest, or will they brush me off because

512
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 3: they think I'm too arrogant or too confident, or that

513
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 3: my life is too perfect?

514
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 4: What even then, like I can't relate to that sentence

515
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 4: at all. What's a right or that statement?

516
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 3: It just is the interesting thing to say to somebody

517
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 3: that's interviewing you for an article. You know that's going

518
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,959
Speaker 3: to be an immagazine, Yes, that people around you are

519
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 3: going to read. And I think that is It's just

520
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 3: her personality is interesting. I would never say that about myself. Also,

521
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 3: like I run and I'm a healthy eater too, But

522
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that I'm never gonna have it. Was

523
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 3: just it doesn't mean I'm never gonna have a weight issue.

524
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: Like she just has this skewed sense of reality or

525
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 3: sense a view of self. She's very privileged, and I

526
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,360
Speaker 3: think that as we move into some of the critique

527
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 3: about her theory, she is very privileged, and that I

528
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 3: don't think is ever really acknowledged that she is able

529
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,159
Speaker 3: to do X because she can do this and when

530
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 3: we are privileged and then we like sell this idea

531
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 3: that I use the five four three two one and

532
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 3: change my life and now I'm a millionaire, and so

533
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 3: can you like, you have to acknowledge both because you're

534
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 3: setting people up to either always come back and depend

535
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 3: on you or to be manipulated. Okay, would you rather

536
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 3: go into the critiques of the actual theory itself or

537
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 3: do you want to go into the platiarism controversy.

538
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 4: We can start with the critiques and then we'll get

539
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 4: into the Okay, platiarism.

540
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 3: So Therapy for Women is an account on Instagram that

541
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 3: I really love. She has a podcast and we listen

542
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 3: to her podcast. Her podcast is called Need for Nuance

543
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,239
Speaker 3: and it's two therapists and they talked about when this

544
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 3: first came out, what was some of the nuance that

545
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 3: was not mentioned in it? And so she put a

546
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 3: carousel on Instagram, and I'm going to read some of

547
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 3: the stuff that she talked about because I agree with most,

548
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 3: if not all, of it, and then we can add

549
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 3: our own thoughts as well. But the first one she

550
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 3: said why she disagreed with the let them theory, which

551
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 3: we haven't said what the let them theory is? Do

552
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 3: you want to explain it? Well?

553
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 4: Is there a official definition for mel but in a nutshell, which,

554
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 4: of course, when it first came out. I was saying

555
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 4: it all the time. I'm pretty sure, like.

556
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 3: Even on the Bobby Bomb Show.

557
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 4: I mean we talked about on the podcast, but on

558
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 4: a national radio show, I was like, oh, you know, Bobby,

559
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 4: you need to do like Mel Robbins and just let them.

560
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 4: So when I first heard Mel talk about it, she

561
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 4: was just doing a selfie style video, and I think

562
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 4: the example she gave is, like you know, she goes,

563
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 4: I just heard about this, you know idea or theory

564
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 4: called let them and you know, if your friends are

565
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 4: gonna go to lunch without you and not invite you,

566
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 4: let them. Like it was sort of presented like that

567
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 4: as like this, don't let it take up space in

568
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 4: your brain and let it loop and run you ragged,

569
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 4: Like just let them and move on with your day

570
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 4: let them.

571
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 3: Versus share with them that it hurt your feelings and

572
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 3: that you want to be included. Yeah.

573
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 4: That, No, I don't remember that. I just feel like

574
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 4: that was what stuck with me from when I saw it.

575
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 4: How she gave other examples, and I do see how

576
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 4: that could be beneficial if it is working you up

577
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,479
Speaker 4: in a way where like if you don't have all

578
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 4: the facts, like similar to like not making up a

579
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 4: story that you don't know to be true, which I

580
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 4: guess you could ask your friends about, like, hey, did

581
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 4: something happen? I guess you all went to lunch. The

582
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 4: whole lunch thing. That probably stuck with me because I

583
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 4: think I've had moments where I've had friends doing something

584
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 4: and I felt left out, and so I felt like, oh, Okay,

585
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 4: I can just let them, And I do see how

586
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 4: that could come in handy if you if you're not

587
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 4: trying to be dramatic, you don't need to say anything

588
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 4: because like, what if there was a reason you weren't

589
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 4: invited that you don't need to know about, or it

590
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 4: really doesn't matter. You can just let them. But I

591
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 4: just know bigger situations and scenarios in life where let

592
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 4: them just isn't.

593
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 3: Going to work.

594
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think Mel even addresses that some right Eventually.

595
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 3: I didn't finish the book. So this also reminded me

596
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 3: of that other podcast that we listen to. It was

597
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 3: Are You Up? Was the dating dating one? So she

598
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 3: did her podcast tour for her book, and it was

599
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 3: interesting that she was even on that podcast because it

600
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 3: was about dating and so they were trying to get

601
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 3: her to relate it to the dating scenarios, and I

602
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 3: think that the hosts were being real realistic, like, Okay,

603
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 3: we get she's saying like if somebody doesn't, oh my gosh,

604
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 3: do you listen to that?

605
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 2: Right?

606
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 3: If you guys want to entertain yourself, listen to the

607
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 3: first five minutes because she is so aggressive, and she

608
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 3: was like, I'm going to tell you what's wrong with

609
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 3: your dating life, and the problem is you there's a way,

610
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 3: and there's a nuance, and there's just a finesse to

611
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 3: sharing information when somebody's getting in their own way that

612
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 3: most people are not going to listen to. They're going

613
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 3: to Okay, you're mean, I feel attacked now I'm defensive.

614
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,479
Speaker 3: So that's just not a from a honestly from a

615
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,719
Speaker 3: helping standpoint, that's not the way to help somebody.

616
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 4: Was that more of her life coach vibes like do

617
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 4: you think thanks? People were paying three point fifty yeah,

618
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 4: plus a session like that that's the version she was

619
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 4: getting of, like, well, I don't.

620
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 3: Give a f what you think.

621
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 4: Like there was somewhere in that episode they asked a

622
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 4: question about what a listener might be feeling, and she's not.

623
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 3: My effing problem.

624
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, well they're not my effing problem. And I was like, oh, ouch,

625
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 4: Like yeah, it did not feel like a helper, yeah

626
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 4: at all.

627
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 3: I think they asked like if if somebody who's listening

628
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 3: to this is having a hard time grasping this concept

629
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 3: that like if somebody doesn't want to date, you just

630
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 3: let them, or if somebody doesn't answer your text, just

631
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 3: let them. If somebody doesn't blah blah blah blah, let them.

632
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 3: They were like, we grasp the idea, but for somebody

633
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 3: who isn't able to just like grab that when they

634
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 3: really feelings are involved, when they like somebody, when they

635
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 3: want to know what they did wrong, like how do

636
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 3: you get them to like get there? They were like

637
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 3: valid question, like what's the route? And she was like

638
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 3: if they don't want to get there, that's not my

639
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 3: effing problem, or if they can't grasp this, it's they're

640
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 3: not my effing problem. And I just was like, well,

641
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 3: I mean, you're you're saying that you're trying to help them,

642
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 3: so you're making them your problem and that you have

643
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 3: the solution, and if they don't like your solution, then

644
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 3: you're like f off.

645
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 4: It felt very aggressive and I remember my brain instantly

646
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 4: thinking like, oh, would she have talked this way on

647
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 4: Oprah's podcast?

648
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 3: And maybe she did.

649
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 4: I don't know, because I was already disenchanted with her

650
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 4: by the time she went on Oprah, so I didn't

651
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 4: even watch or listen to the full thing. I just

652
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 4: saw clips online. But I wondered if her demeanor was

653
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 4: the same with Oprah as it was with them, because

654
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 4: she was very, very, very aggressive. I was confused by yeah,

655
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 4: and you can side of her. You can be I think,

656
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 4: confident and strong. And again, one thing that drew me

657
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 4: to her in the beginning is she had this like

658
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 4: you just wanted to believe her. She just she believed

659
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 4: what she was saying, so you want to believe it.

660
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 4: And I, as a early therapist, was struggling with my

661
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 4: confidence and how to show up. One of my mentors

662
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 4: actually told me one time. They were like, you need

663
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 4: to harness your inner bitch, and I was like, I

664
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 4: can't do that.

665
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 3: But then I saw mel Robinson, I was like, I

666
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 3: can be like her. It was like I got drawn in.

667
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 3: But then that feels very different, the confidence than what

668
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 3: she was showing on that podcast. It almost felt like

669
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 3: she didn't like that. People were kind of poking holes

670
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,760
Speaker 3: of saying like, well, we need more because she didn't

671
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 3: have the answer to that, right, So the critique said

672
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 3: the women from Therapy for Women had We're going to

673
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 3: just talk about each one.

674
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 1: There's five.

675
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 3: The first one is it can be an excuse. The

676
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 3: first one is it can be an excuse. So so

677
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 3: to avoid hard conversations or learn how to compromise. There's

678
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 3: a difference between letting someone go versus using let them

679
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 3: to avoid necessary conversations in long term relationships. I would

680
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 3: have loved this five ten years ago, last year even

681
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 3: like to be able to just like let them. I'm

682
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 3: not gonna confront that. It's actually, i think, creating more

683
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 3: distance in your relationships than actually helping you. So number

684
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,720
Speaker 3: two is it's marketed as a one size fits all solution.

685
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 3: When you try to apply a one size fits all

686
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 3: solution and it doesn't work, the message becomes if this

687
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 3: doesn't work for you, you're the problem.

688
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 4: Hmmm, which is sort of her was her demeanor on

689
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 4: that podcast, Yes okay.

690
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,239
Speaker 3: Which she probably would double down on, like you don't

691
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 3: want it bad enough, or you're stuck and you're not

692
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 3: listening or something like that number three. It can create

693
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 3: shame if saying let them doesn't work or feels unhelpful.

694
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 3: Change is messy, it's nonlinear, and it takes time. It's

695
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 3: not something you can fix with a simple catchphrase. And

696
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:10,720
Speaker 3: I think that's something that I have feelings about, where

697
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 3: like I love catchphrases like that, like the waight to worry,

698
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 3: Like I like the idea of let them. I have

699
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 3: some of those slow equals fast is one that I

700
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 3: use in my office a lot, but those I'm not writing.

701
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 4: And it's about yeah, no, like we didn't, we didn't

702
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:28,799
Speaker 4: just and.

703
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 3: We're not applying that to every situation, right.

704
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 4: We think they can come in handy. They're a tool

705
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 4: to keep in your back pocket.

706
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 3: But that wouldn't sell if she was like, I have

707
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 3: a tool that sometimes could work for you in certain

708
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 3: situations and sometimes might not make any sense. Who's behind

709
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 3: that like that? I think that's the problem with That's

710
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 3: what I run into issues with a lot of like

711
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: the self help gurus, a lot of the Jay Shetties

712
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 3: of the world, a lot of the mel Robin of

713
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 3: the world, is that to sell something, you have to

714
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 3: create this like mph about it, and most of the

715
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 3: reality of therapy. I mean we say this all the time.

716
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 3: Remember when we did that little game when you asked

717
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 3: me about the different anxiety tools and now was like,

718
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 3: sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

719
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 4: Well, I asked you to rate them on a scale

720
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 4: of one to ten because a lot of therapists were

721
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 4: doing it online and it was super cute, and they

722
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 4: would just give a direct number. They'd be like waited

723
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 4: blankets five, coal plunges seven, journaling nine, therapy tit like

724
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 4: you were like, every time you try to answer, you're like, well,

725
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 4: it depends, which is so true. It does depend, Like

726
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:44,280
Speaker 4: there is no blanketing number that will work for everybody.

727
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 4: For some people, journaling is absolutely going to be a

728
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 4: nine or a ten, and then for somebody else it's

729
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 4: going to be a one.

730
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 3: Well, guess what that reel that we made with that

731
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 3: didn't go viral and that's probably want it's not that interesting,

732
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:02,320
Speaker 3: Like that's the reality of you'll help and real therapy

733
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 3: is it's like not that interesting. Sometimes it's like not

734
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 3: that sexy. Yes, which the let them theory, Oh my gosh,

735
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 3: if the way she actually well, actually I'm gonna read

736
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 3: chain and just gave us her website definition of let

737
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 3: them theory. The let them theory is a step by

738
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 3: step guide on how to stop letting other people's opinions, drama,

739
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 3: and judgment impact your life. Two simple words, let them

740
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 3: will set you free from the exhausting cycle of trying

741
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 3: to manage everything and everyone around you. It's time to

742
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 3: build a life where you come first, your dreams, your goals,

743
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 3: your happiness.

744
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 4: Like, okay, I want that, but okay, and it says

745
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 4: I'm going to reiterate two simple words, let them will

746
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 4: set you free from the exhausting cycle of trying to

747
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 4: manage everything and everyone around you.

748
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 3: Versus come to therapy and maybe we might be able

749
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 3: to find some help for you to feel better sometimes.

750
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 4: But that is a bold claim. Yeah, two words that

751
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,800
Speaker 4: are going to set you free.

752
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,399
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think the other thing is like, you can't.

753
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 3: She gotta be sued for false advertising, because again, if

754
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 3: it doesn't work, it's your fault. It's not because there's

755
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 3: something wrong with my theory. It's that you're not doing

756
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 3: the things that you're supposed to do. You're not buying

757
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 3: into it, or you're whatever. Anyway, next one number four.

758
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 3: It doesn't address the root cause of issues, which I

759
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 3: think we've kind of talked about. Shouting let them at

760
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 3: someone who is in an abusive relationship or has trauma

761
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 3: is unhelpful. That is a big one.

762
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do feel like in fairness though, I believe

763
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 4: mel again, you didn't finish the book, but this can't

764
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 4: apply to if you're in an abusive relationship. There's no

765
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 4: way she would be like, well, let them.

766
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 3: I haven't read the book either. And there is a

767
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 3: second part where it's like let me.

768
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 4: Which also is plagiarized from from the same person, Cassie Fast. Okay, well,

769
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,799
Speaker 4: I'm excited to get to the plagiarized part because then

770
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 4: don't want to talk about the prom part, because there

771
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 4: was no problem in the original video. Yeah, there was

772
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 4: only like the example of like your friends going to

773
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 4: lunch without.

774
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:10,359
Speaker 3: You, the receipts don't match up. That's right, There is receipts. Right,

775
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 3: there are receipts. The last critique of this, which is

776
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 3: what we're getting into, is it was plagiarized. The original

777
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 3: concept came from a poem called let Them by Cassie

778
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 3: Phillips about setting boundaries with people who don't value you

779
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:28,360
Speaker 3: while remaining open to those who do so shall we

780
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 3: we shall. I will also say, on top of all that,

781
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 3: which is a thing with a lot of self help

782
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 3: stuff too is and a lot of the stuff with

783
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 3: Jay Shetty is like these repackaging things that already exist.

784
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 3: She's repackaging one, this poem that already exists. But the

785
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 3: let them theory is somewhat like radical acceptance to which

786
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,880
Speaker 3: we've talked about on here, which is part of DBT,

787
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 3: which is a part of a therapy that's already been created.

788
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 4: I wonder if she addresses that, I don't know in

789
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 4: the book. Probably not, she'd be giving credit to something else.

790
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 3: I don't think she probably does, because one and then

791
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 3: it's she also says that she discovered this. She doesn't

792
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:08,760
Speaker 3: say she created it. She says over and over, I discovered.

793
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 4: This theory from her daughter, right, So, but that's not true.

794
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 3: Well, you know, we're gonna get into that.

795
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, But that's the part where I'm like, well, it's

796
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 4: my mind.

797
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,719
Speaker 3: And a lot of the way she's talking about it,

798
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 3: and a lot of her press she says, I discovered it.

799
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 3: I discovered I discovered it, like I came upon this thing,

800
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 3: not I created it, And I think that's her way

801
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 3: of gatting around it. So I want you to tell

802
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 3: your story, because you heard about this before me, and

803
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,359
Speaker 3: then you started kind of putting the dots together. And

804
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 3: then I found some of this on the internet and

805
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 3: I was like, look, it's true, so you tell me.

806
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 4: So back to my closet. I'm just scrolling Instagram or

807
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 4: I do it.

808
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 3: Oh we were locked in your closet.

809
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 4: No, I was just it's just where I was in

810
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 4: my house. Like you'd never hang out in your closet.

811
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 3: A clause is not that big. I wasn't locked in it.

812
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 4: No, I guess I would just sit in there sometimes

813
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,320
Speaker 4: when my bathroom was like all connected. But I remember

814
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 4: that's exactly where I was. And the video hadn't even

815
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 4: gone viral yet. It just was a video that popped up.

816
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 4: And then later I kept seeing it. I was like, oh,

817
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 4: this really popped off, like this is now blown up.

818
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 4: And I think even for mel she saw that and

819
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 4: she was like, oh there's something here, there's something to this.

820
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 4: People are loving this. Let them theory. And I'm sure

821
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 4: with her genius brain, she's like, I better take this

822
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 4: momentum and let's go. Let's create a whole movement, a book,

823
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 4: all the things. So I do know that I saw

824
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,720
Speaker 4: her kind of she was just she made a selfie

825
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 4: style video. It seemed like she was maybe out on

826
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 4: her porch or something, and she was like, Hey, I

827
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 4: gotta tell y'all, I just learned about this idea of

828
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 4: let them. And I don't remember all the examples that

829
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,919
Speaker 4: she gave, but I do remember she did not talk

830
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 4: about prom with her daughter, mentioning it to her, which

831
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:55,879
Speaker 4: in the book when the little parts that I did

832
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 4: read in the things that I know about her promotion

833
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 4: around it is that it came to her through her daughter.

834
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 3: When they were sending her son off to prom.

835
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 4: He hadn't put a lot of thought into it, kind

836
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 4: of decided to go last minute, and she, as the mom,

837
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 4: was really frustrated, like the weather was bad. They were

838
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 4: just going to go to some taco truck and she's like,

839
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 4: we should really be making reservations and it's going to

840
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 4: write and like she was just as a mom, Like

841
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 4: I'm paraphrasing obviously, and that at one point during it all,

842
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 4: her daughter it was like, Mom, let them, it's his

843
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 4: prom Let them if they want.

844
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:33,839
Speaker 3: To go to a taco truck.

845
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 4: Let them if they want to do this, let them

846
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:40,919
Speaker 4: and that at that moment, Mel was like, you're right,

847
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 4: and then the story went from there. But that's not

848
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 4: where it started because I remember when she first posted

849
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 4: about it and she didn't say anything about her daughter

850
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,760
Speaker 4: or prom. And then since then too, the sluthor's online

851
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 4: or whatever you call them, tons of people have collected

852
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,800
Speaker 4: the receipts and done the research and.

853
00:43:58,760 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 3: The timeline they had.

854
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:05,879
Speaker 4: They put the original Mel video before prom so like that,

855
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 4: you have the timeline, Okay.

856
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I have the video too. It's still there,

857
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 3: so you guys can go fact check this. So what's

858
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 3: I have the timeline that a woman named Sage Justice.

859
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 3: She has a substat called Sage Words. She created a

860
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 3: whole timeline on this in a couple articles. I think

861
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 3: really to give help give Cassie a voice and help

862
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 3: get her the credit where credit was due. And I

863
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 3: want to say before I go into this, that's the problem,

864
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 3: not that she took somebody else's poem and then created

865
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 3: a book about it, because she could have done that

866
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 3: in the right way. And what is that Picasso quote?

867
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:49,760
Speaker 3: That's like good artists borrow great artist steel like we're

868
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 3: all taking information from other people and creating new things.

869
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 3: That's fine. She could have done that and put Cassie's

870
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 3: poem in the beginning of the book as like a prologue.

871
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 3: That would have been so cool for Cassie and for Mel.

872
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:05,479
Speaker 3: So my issue is it would have been so easy

873
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 3: to lift this woman up, versus she's acting like it

874
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:10,840
Speaker 3: never happened.

875
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 4: This entire scenario was the downfall of my relationship with Mel.

876
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,919
Speaker 4: I was still on board and very much a fan.

877
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 4: This situation with Cassie is what lifted the veil the

878
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 4: tiniest bit, and then the veil got fully lifted and

879
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 4: I could not even finish the book. Yeah, and my

880
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 4: sister knew I wanted that book, and before my sister

881
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 4: pre ordered it, I think she pre ordered like six

882
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 4: of them.

883
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 3: And my sister and I would call and we would

884
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:38,560
Speaker 3: talk about mel roblems.

885
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 4: We'd exchange like instagrams, like I'd text her this or

886
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 4: texted that, Oh, we'll go see what Mel said here. Yes,

887
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 4: like I was a fan, like this just really bums

888
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 4: me out, Like I'm like, it yucked your yum it,

889
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 4: this really yucks my youm because dang it, I was

890
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 4: excited to read the book, and then I wasn't, and

891
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 4: then I sent it. I donated it to goodwill, so

892
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 4: somebody else canna have it. Somebody else could have it

893
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 4: if they want it, and maybe they need it and

894
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 4: it'd be perfect for them at whatever season of life

895
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 4: that they're in. But the season I'm in, it just

896
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 4: seemed very if and it was not cool.

897
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 3: And then it was not cool, mel, this is not cool.

898
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:18,920
Speaker 3: I just felt bummed like I'd been duped because you

899
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:23,360
Speaker 3: were duped. That's the feeling, and that feeling is so maddening.

900
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 3: Oh that's why I'm so skeptical. So let me read

901
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 3: you the timeline. Also, we got the quote it's good

902
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 3: artist copy, great artists steel, so it's okay to take

903
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 3: Also like she could have because they're really is if

904
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,320
Speaker 3: we think about it, there's nobody has original thoughts. However,

905
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 3: this could have been a really cool opportunity to help somebody.

906
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 4: And we're all inspired by so many people, like yeah,

907
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:48,839
Speaker 4: bring her alongside, like I don't know why it had

908
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 4: to be the prom story versus a poem, right, and

909
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 4: then also even with her daughter, what really me? Okay, sorry,

910
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 4: I had a pre ordered copy, so I have the

911
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,520
Speaker 4: og which you can say that sorry, you're the teacher.

912
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 4: You're the teacher. I didn't know what all you had prepared.

913
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 3: Well, I'm just going to read this thing and then

914
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 3: you tell I know you're about to say. Okay, else

915
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 3: we'll never get to the timeline. Okay, time, Okay, the timeline.

916
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 3: So in twenty nineteen, Cassie Phillips writes the poem let Them.

917
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 3: September twenty twenty two, the poem let Them by Cassie

918
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 3: Phillips goes viral. October twenty twenty two, the poem let

919
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 3: You by Cassie Phillips goes viral. Oh well, so in

920
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 3: Mel's book, though, the other part is let me, good

921
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 3: job mail. That one's on you. Okay, I think I didn't.

922
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 3: I think that's right. I didn't get to that part

923
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 3: of the book. But in May thirteenth, twenty twenty three,

924
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 3: Mel Robbins makes viral TikTok sharing the discovery of let Them.

925
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,280
Speaker 4: That's kind of cool to know that on May thirteenth,

926
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 4: twenty twenty three, I was in my closet based on

927
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 4: that information that I know.

928
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 3: That nowhere was yeah, May twentieth, May twentieth, which comes

929
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 3: after the thirteenth, twenty twenty three, the prom where Mel

930
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 3: claims the origin story of her discovery.

931
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 4: Happened so seven days later.

932
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird how time works that way. Also, I

933
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 3: feel like I saw somewhere and somebody can fact check

934
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 3: me on this, because I don't have it written down

935
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 3: right now. I think she interacted with Cassie's poem at

936
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 3: some point.

937
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 4: Well, all I know is earlier this year, when I

938
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 4: was trying to read the book and I was starting

939
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 4: to get perturbed because of this Cassie business. I did

940
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:35,879
Speaker 4: see that Cassie had posted somewhere some interactions with her, and.

941
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,919
Speaker 3: Mel can't say she doesn't know this person exists. May

942
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four. This is interesting. Mel Robins files to

943
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:50,959
Speaker 3: trademark the phrase let Them September. October twenty twenty four,

944
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 3: Meil Robins announced she wrote a let Them book. December

945
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 3: twenty twenty four, she publishes the book that let Them there,

946
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 3: and she was not able to get the trademark for

947
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 3: whatever she was trademarking it for, because you can't just

948
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 3: trademark a random thing that you don't have, No, like,

949
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 3: I can't trademark. What's up, guys? I have no like

950
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 3: content or anything that comes around that.

951
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,320
Speaker 4: Well, she is it because she filed for the trademark

952
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 4: before she had the books, because if she had the book,

953
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 4: then she could file for the trademark and say that

954
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 4: that's like because I don't know the only thing I've

955
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 4: ever filed for is under like the podcast and then

956
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 4: clothing apparel, and you have to have a created product

957
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 4: and be using it and selling it.

958
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 3: Well, so she tried to trademark for because if you

959
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 3: look on like Etsy and stuff, there's tons of stuff

960
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,279
Speaker 3: that creators and artists and stuff make that says let them.

961
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 4: Maybe it was too generic.

962
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 3: I think it was too that was it was like

963
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 3: too generic. She can probably trademark the let them theory now,

964
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,280
Speaker 3: but you can't just trademark that because then all also

965
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 3: doing that puts all those people that already that are

966
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 3: already creating that content out of business, Like that hurts

967
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:01,720
Speaker 3: these little people.

968
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 4: Well, if she were to obtain the trademark and she

969
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 4: chose to take action on the little people, then it

970
00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 4: would impact them if she let them, she let them

971
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 4: just do it. She could be like, let them, let

972
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:15,279
Speaker 4: them keep using it, yes, because that's really when you're

973
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,360
Speaker 4: only gonna get impacted is if someone decides to pursue

974
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 4: legal action. Getch you like, the government's not gonna say anything,

975
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 4: But she could. She found that.

976
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 3: This is sort of what I was trying to say.

977
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 4: Yes, it is possible to trademark a phrase or a slogan,

978
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,320
Speaker 4: but it must be used to identify goods or services

979
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 4: and be distinctive enough to function as a trademark. To

980
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 4: trademark a phrase, it needs to be more than just

981
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 4: a common saying. It should be used to distinguish your

982
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,759
Speaker 4: brand and its offerings in the marketplace.

983
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 3: But if she had.

984
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 4: Clothing with it on there, or the book or different

985
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,319
Speaker 4: things where she's using it and it's tied to her,

986
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 4: then she could.

987
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 3: She could. Before you say the other thing that I

988
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,719
Speaker 3: was like, don't say that yet, I found that Cassie,

989
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:58,719
Speaker 3: the original girl that wrote this poem, she credited the

990
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:03,800
Speaker 3: idea or their inspiration from her poem to the Medea video.

991
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 3: Do you know who media is like the Tyler Tyler Perry?

992
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 4: Of course I know Medea Hallelujah.

993
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 3: She has a viral YouTube video which we can post

994
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 3: the link because it's interesting and it's called let Them Go,

995
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,799
Speaker 3: and in it she says, if somebody wants to walk

996
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 3: out of your life, let them go. So that inspired

997
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 3: her poem and I'm like that right, there is all

998
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 3: you had to do. Like, just like Cassie was like,

999
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 3: oh this thing inspired this. It doesn't take away from

1000
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 3: her poem. It was like, Oh, that's cool to know

1001
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 3: the story of where that came from, the same thing

1002
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:38,320
Speaker 3: Mel could have done.

1003
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:41,919
Speaker 4: But I guess she felt like crediting her daughter. Oh yes,

1004
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 4: which I feel like if I was her daughter, I

1005
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,359
Speaker 4: might be like, Mom, I saw you post a video

1006
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,879
Speaker 4: seven days ago talking about let them and then yeah,

1007
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:50,800
Speaker 4: I said that to you for the problem. Like me,

1008
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 4: her daughter did say that.

1009
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 3: But then her daughter doesn't have as much power as

1010
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 3: her mom.

1011
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:58,399
Speaker 4: Well obviously not, because that was what I was trying

1012
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 4: to say earlier, was that her daughter worked with her

1013
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 4: mom on this book side by side. They posted about

1014
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 4: it multiple times. I don't even know, like.

1015
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:06,719
Speaker 3: A year of research.

1016
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 4: They acted like they were sitting at the kitchen table

1017
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:13,080
Speaker 4: just day and night, working on this project together. And

1018
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 4: then her name was not on the book. Yeah, that

1019
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 4: really crazy through me. But then you told me on

1020
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 4: later editions because I had a pre order copy that

1021
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:27,560
Speaker 4: when it was reprinted or the new books were printed

1022
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 4: that her daughter was added in smaller, smaller font font.

1023
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,959
Speaker 3: On International Women's Day and this is my thing about

1024
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 3: Like she's like, oh, what a gift. Yes, she made

1025
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:41,240
Speaker 3: this announcement, like I'm doing this thing for my daughter,

1026
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, you're just putting the other author's

1027
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 3: name on the book that should have already been there.

1028
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 3: You should have put her a long time ago.

1029
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 4: It doesn't make sense you didn't include her, especially if

1030
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 4: she's the entire inspiration for the thing.

1031
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 3: But what a way to spin that of like oh,

1032
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 3: I just was waiting to do this as a International

1033
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 3: Women's Day to support women, like versus being like, yeah,

1034
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 3: I was kind of narcissistic and I didn't put my

1035
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 3: daughter's name on it. That was a mistake. I should

1036
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 3: change it. So this is all leads me to like

1037
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 3: the kind of wrap up of mine.

1038
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 4: Like how does that conversation go, Like I'm honestly trying

1039
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:15,399
Speaker 4: to picture it, Like does she like I know you've

1040
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,399
Speaker 4: been by my side and you're the one that told

1041
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 4: me about this let them theory? Like remember remember when

1042
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 4: when your brother was going to prom and you were like, mom,

1043
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:26,759
Speaker 4: let them let them go to the taco truck. And

1044
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 4: then we were like, oh, let's write a book. And

1045
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 4: then you sat by my side and we did all

1046
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 4: the research and we worked on it together. You know

1047
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 4: how we've done that. But I just been letting you

1048
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 4: know that only my name is going to be on

1049
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:40,359
Speaker 4: the book. So thank you for everything inspiring this entire thing,

1050
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,399
Speaker 4: but only my name. Like how does she even say that?

1051
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 4: Like how do you say that? And you know what,

1052
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:50,480
Speaker 4: if you, if you have any thoughts or feelings about this,

1053
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,919
Speaker 4: I need you to just you know, go high five yourself.

1054
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 3: In the mirror and kind down.

1055
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 1: Let them.

1056
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 4: Mom, just give yourself a five, four three two one

1057
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 4: some water. High five yourself in the mirror and then

1058
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 4: say let them.

1059
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 3: Like is that what you tell your daughter? But that's

1060
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 3: the crazy thing is like the theory would say that

1061
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 3: the daughter should say.

1062
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 4: Let them, Yeah, let them.

1063
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:17,799
Speaker 3: Can't do anything about it. She doesn't want to give

1064
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 3: you credit for these hours and hours and hours and

1065
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 3: hours of work that you put into this project that's

1066
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 3: gonna make her millions of dollars.

1067
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,720
Speaker 4: Let them, let them. If someone's gonna take your idea,

1068
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 4: I mean, because really this is the mom. Okay, she

1069
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 4: took it from Cassie or whatever. She was inspired and

1070
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 4: Cassie got it from Medea.

1071
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 3: A fictional character. I love Medea.

1072
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 4: My mom loved media movies. Every time there was an

1073
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 4: Adia movie, my mom was watching it. Yes, like always

1074
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 4: have a special place in my heart, which Tyler Perry

1075
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 4: is speaking of, like who can we trust anymore? He

1076
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 4: was in the news recently of stuff, and I'm like,

1077
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 4: please don't let that be true. Please don't let that

1078
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,360
Speaker 4: be true. Maybe it is, and if it is, to

1079
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 4: the victim, like I will now have to be like, ugh,

1080
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 4: Tyler Perry, you suck. I don't know, because claims can

1081
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 4: be made and I don't know. I haven't followed up

1082
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:11,919
Speaker 4: the details there, but I'm like, dang it, I don't

1083
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 4: like reports like that, but thankfully truth should come out.

1084
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 4: So I do like reports like that, But you get

1085
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:17,600
Speaker 4: what I'm saying.

1086
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that these situations, whether it's Tyler Perry,

1087
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 3: Mel Robbins, Rachel Hollis, whatever, when we find the cracks

1088
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 3: in the like too good to be true stories of

1089
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:30,879
Speaker 3: these people that we're looking up to or that we're

1090
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 3: gaining insight from where we're learning from, we're not able

1091
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 3: to like get the what's the cart before the horse, Like,

1092
00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 3: we're not able to know the information until we know it.

1093
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 3: So I think the glimmer in this whole conversation is

1094
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,240
Speaker 3: that you are allowed to change your mind at any point,

1095
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,399
Speaker 3: like when you find more information about somebody that leads

1096
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 3: you to say like, oh, I don't think they had

1097
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 3: my best interest at heart. You're allowed to change your

1098
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 3: mind about how you feel about them. And I think

1099
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 3: you're a perfect We both are perfect examples because I

1100
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 3: once loved her too, and the more we learned, the

1101
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:04,359
Speaker 3: more we were like, oh, I don't know that I'm

1102
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:07,440
Speaker 3: going to take everything with the same weight as I

1103
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 3: once took from her. I'm going to think more. So

1104
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,640
Speaker 3: we came up with some things to look for or

1105
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:18,359
Speaker 3: ask yourself when you are looking to somebody, whether it's

1106
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:22,680
Speaker 3: a boss, a friend, a mentor, a famous person, a

1107
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 3: self help person, a therapist, a teacher, there are some

1108
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:29,479
Speaker 3: things to ask yourself that might help you not get

1109
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:31,840
Speaker 3: too far in before you see kind.

1110
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:41,720
Speaker 1: Of the light.

1111
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 4: But these are the questions that we came up with

1112
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:50,440
Speaker 4: whenever I was paying money to a face fitness person.

1113
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 3: They're not the same, they're similar that's not exactly the same,

1114
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 3: but those are all that's how to spot a scammer.

1115
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:58,319
Speaker 3: Oh so they're similar, They're very similar. Yeah, well, and.

1116
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:02,279
Speaker 4: It makes me think of even Tony Robbins backstory, which

1117
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:03,840
Speaker 4: I know this isn't a deep dive on him, and

1118
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:07,520
Speaker 4: I don't know the full thing, but in Mel's first

1119
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:10,480
Speaker 4: line of her bio sentence, like, Tony's story is this

1120
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 4: whole you know, grew up very poor, single mom. Like

1121
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 4: he feeds a lot of people now, like millions, maybe

1122
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:23,320
Speaker 4: even dare I say billions. I feel like he's put

1123
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 4: out an astronomical number of like meals that he has

1124
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 4: provided for people. And you know, it goes back to

1125
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 4: this story of how he was helped as a child,

1126
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 4: And then I'm like, I hope he was. I'm sure

1127
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 4: he was, but it seems like a lot of people

1128
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 4: follow him. I once thought about going to one of

1129
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 4: his conferences. Well, but I would have to pay a

1130
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 4: lot of money to go and then have him yell

1131
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 4: at me to walk on coal. But I think that'd

1132
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:46,919
Speaker 4: be cool.

1133
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 3: I feel like I just went so many places with you.

1134
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 3: I feel like, also though the Rags to Riches is

1135
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 3: so like I'm drawn to that, like, again, if they

1136
00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 3: can do it, we can do it, So we can

1137
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 3: add that to it.

1138
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 4: Oprah.

1139
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Oprah. There's some cracks an Oprah story too.

1140
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 3: Don't tell me.

1141
00:58:06,880 --> 00:58:07,520
Speaker 4: I don't want to know.

1142
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 3: Crowdcat's like mm hmmm.

1143
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 4: Maybe later we could do it. We could do an

1144
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 4: Oprah deep dive. But she's someone that definitely did not

1145
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 4: have privilege, that's for sure.

1146
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I think Mel had a lot more privilege

1147
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 3: than Oprah. Did You can say that, well, yeah, I

1148
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 3: mean Mel is never going to get fat. She runs

1149
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,439
Speaker 3: and she eats healthy. I can't believe she said that.

1150
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 4: And I know I derailed us with the whole Tony

1151
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 4: Robbins thing, but it just made me think of people

1152
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 4: that I am drawn to at times because of their

1153
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:42,040
Speaker 4: story and then their charismatic behavior, and that I would

1154
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 4: pay money to go to one of their events because

1155
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 4: I think it would be cool and the energy there

1156
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 4: would be awesome, Like.

1157
00:58:49,400 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 3: A Rachel Hollis's conference before her downfall.

1158
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sure that those were really exciting and fun

1159
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,320
Speaker 4: and fun and like you felt like this community and connection.

1160
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:02,640
Speaker 4: So that's why I think it's important that I particularly

1161
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 4: pay attention to these signs or these poverment.

1162
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 3: What do you have? Questions? Questions that we need to ask. Yeah, okay,

1163
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 3: so five questions. Keep it short and simple. One is

1164
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 3: it too good to be true? If it's all encompassing,

1165
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:21,640
Speaker 3: you might want to do a little bit more digging.

1166
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 3: Two do their actions match their words? I mean, are

1167
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:28,520
Speaker 3: they practicing what they're preaching?

1168
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 4: And this is how we can know if we can

1169
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 4: trust somebody. These are the questions we're going to ask ourselves. Okay,

1170
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:37,040
Speaker 4: is it too good to be true? Do their actions

1171
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 4: match their words?

1172
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 3: Three? How do they handle critique and accountability?

1173
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 4: So you have to really like dive deep into that

1174
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,680
Speaker 4: if you don't have a relationship with this person, because like,

1175
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 4: even for seeing how Mel handled some critique, we had

1176
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 4: to go listen to all these other yeah, but the podcasts,

1177
00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 4: but maybe it would maybe once you see it, you

1178
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 4: may even notice sit in her own everywhere.

1179
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,880
Speaker 3: Okay. I think that's the other thing is I think

1180
01:00:03,920 --> 01:00:06,920
Speaker 3: you're experiencing once the veil is lifted, you see it

1181
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 3: everywhere because those are now the lenses that you're looking

1182
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,880
Speaker 3: through versus the rose colored glasses that like, she can

1183
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:13,439
Speaker 3: do no wrong and she's so nice and she wants

1184
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 3: to help, BUTZ like, no, she's a businesswoman and she

1185
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 3: wants you to buy.

1186
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 4: Her book and she's a genius.

1187
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's pretty smart. Number four, do they show humility

1188
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 3: or just authority? This one is tricky because I think

1189
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 3: mel shows her humility in a an authentic way, but

1190
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 3: really she wants to she wants she wants to feel

1191
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 3: like she's just like us, but in other areas she

1192
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 3: wants us to not be able to relate to her.

1193
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's manufactured humility, it's am.

1194
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 3: And then the last one, number five, what do they

1195
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 3: gain from your trust? Are they guiding, helping, or just selling?

1196
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 3: So are they guiding you or are they helping you

1197
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 3: or they just selling a product? And I think that's

1198
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 3: one that you can go back to what we talked

1199
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:02,120
Speaker 3: about in the beginning, is in with marketing, Like they're

1200
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:05,000
Speaker 3: always supposed to leave you wanting one more thing, and

1201
01:01:05,640 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 3: if they're solving this problem, to create this problem, to

1202
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 3: then solve this other problem for you, if you continue

1203
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:14,560
Speaker 3: to need, need, need, There's a difference in wanting, like

1204
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 3: I want to listen to certain podcasts, I want to

1205
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 3: read certain authors books. They're fun, they're entertaining, I gained

1206
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 3: something from them, but I don't feel tied to them,

1207
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,720
Speaker 3: Like if they stopped their podcast, I would die. If

1208
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:28,440
Speaker 3: they never wrote another book, I don't know what I

1209
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 3: would do, Like I can't go to anybody else for

1210
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,479
Speaker 3: that type of help, guidance or entertainment. That's I think

1211
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 3: where you're like, well, and.

1212
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 4: I'm thinking about you as a therapist, and I would

1213
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:43,360
Speaker 4: think that your goal would be eventually for your client

1214
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:46,080
Speaker 4: to spread their wings and do whatever. I mean, therapy

1215
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 4: can be on and off. Doesn't mean like if you

1216
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 4: have a client that's coming in and just constantly needing

1217
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:55,680
Speaker 4: you all the time, you may wonder I'm not doing

1218
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 4: my job.

1219
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think there's again a difference in therapy

1220
01:01:59,440 --> 01:02:01,320
Speaker 3: where there's yeah, the goal.

1221
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 4: Because you have a living to make too, and I

1222
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:05,800
Speaker 4: think helpers need to make money. So I guess I'm

1223
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 4: trying to also have some discernment around how can you

1224
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:11,640
Speaker 4: tell if a helper who also is trying to make

1225
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 4: a living is just selling, because like you could maybe

1226
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 4: I'm sure there are some therapists actually that do it

1227
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 4: or guides in whatever way that just keep what they

1228
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 4: don't care if their client gets any help. Date as

1229
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 4: long as they're coming and writing a check.

1230
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, that definitely exists. I think there's also in therapy

1231
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 3: a difference in because a lot of times I'll see

1232
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 3: clients and I might see in them every week for

1233
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 3: two years, and then they'll go to every other week,

1234
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,360
Speaker 3: and then they'll go to once a month, and then

1235
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 3: randomly they'll come back and they're like, I have this issue?

1236
01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 3: Can I come back for weekly sessions? And it shifts.

1237
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 3: There's also clients that just like going to weekly therapy,

1238
01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 3: but they know that they don't need to come. It's

1239
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 3: they're actively making that choice. And I think that's the

1240
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 3: difference of like that feeling of well, if you go

1241
01:02:57,200 --> 01:03:00,280
Speaker 3: on vacation, what will I do? Versus Okay, I'll see

1242
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,440
Speaker 3: you next week, but I'll be looking forward to it,

1243
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 3: you know, like our job, yes, is to work ourselves

1244
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:09,320
Speaker 3: out of a job, if that makes sense.

1245
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, But lucky for you, there's always going to be

1246
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 4: messed up, broken people because.

1247
01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 3: We have to pick up the pieces of Mel Robbins.

1248
01:03:17,640 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 3: So I love that was both entertaining and fun, and

1249
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:23,440
Speaker 3: I hope it helps people again have their own discernment

1250
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:26,560
Speaker 3: and so then they can be in charge. Like I

1251
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:30,959
Speaker 3: like having agency over what I pay, like what I buy,

1252
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 3: what I pay attention to, what I listen to, and

1253
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:34,640
Speaker 3: know what I give my time to. Yeah.

1254
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:38,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, because if I'm going to be watching somebody's videos

1255
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 4: or reading their books, yeah, and then trusting your gut

1256
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 4: and listening to it. Like when I knew it was like, wait,

1257
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 4: why am I reading this? I have to put this down?

1258
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:49,800
Speaker 4: And I have zero interest in picking back up, which

1259
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:52,800
Speaker 4: was shocking to me because I was really excited to

1260
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 4: read it. But anyway, let them let us. If people

1261
01:03:58,080 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 4: didn't like this episode, let them.

1262
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,240
Speaker 3: If people don't like us them, let them. If you

1263
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 3: want to feedback here just kidding, we actually love If

1264
01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 3: you want to leave a bad review, don't just email us.

1265
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,840
Speaker 3: I think you and I both we've said this before.

1266
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 3: We're open to feedback and critique whatever you want to

1267
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 3: send our way. I think it would be helpful if

1268
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 3: you just send it to us so we can work

1269
01:04:25,840 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 3: through it. Like, does it have to be on a

1270
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 3: public platform? No, I don't think I say that. I

1271
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 3: don't know. I think no.

1272
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 4: Mel would be like, send this episode to everybody in

1273
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 4: your family that needs to hear good lives. It's going

1274
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 4: to change their lives, which I've admitted to even in

1275
01:04:45,760 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 4: some of our titles at times like oh and it's

1276
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 4: not just mel there's tons of podcasters that do it

1277
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 4: that kind of just hook you with the title of

1278
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 4: like you need to do this every day or you're

1279
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 4: going to die. And I'm like, Okay, yeah, we're going

1280
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:00,600
Speaker 4: to give that a go. And we've tried that, and

1281
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:03,880
Speaker 4: we have not tried that, not that exact same is

1282
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:06,960
Speaker 4: there's a little hyperbole there, but I just wanted to

1283
01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 4: put emphasis on that we've given that a go, and

1284
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:16,360
Speaker 4: it didn't feel authentic to us, like even we were

1285
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 4: just starting the rebrand, which has only been a few

1286
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 4: months now, like there are some titles in there where

1287
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 4: we were playing around with that and then I was like, eh, well,

1288
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:25,000
Speaker 4: you know.

1289
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 3: That's the cool marketing I think is what you have

1290
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:28,520
Speaker 3: to think about, Like there's you have to be able

1291
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 3: to market yourself. Again, we live in a capitalist society,

1292
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:34,720
Speaker 3: so we do need to like make money and we're

1293
01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 3: self employed or I am, so like.

1294
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,040
Speaker 4: Oh no, I don't know about you. I'm I'm unemployed

1295
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:43,320
Speaker 4: and on the brink of big brank crafcy, but I'm

1296
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:46,160
Speaker 4: working on something. I'll let you know, and I have

1297
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:49,200
Speaker 4: it all figured put together and I'll sell it to you.

1298
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:53,800
Speaker 3: But I think that that is something that you can do.

1299
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 3: But as you see with other creators and other helpers,

1300
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:00,480
Speaker 3: you come to a point. I've had this in my

1301
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 3: own business. If like, you come to a point where

1302
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 3: you can choose making money or you can choose the

1303
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,920
Speaker 3: ethics of what you're doing. And sometimes that decision is

1304
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 3: really hard, and sometimes you make the wrong one, and

1305
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,640
Speaker 3: sometimes you make the right one. People like Brene Brown.

1306
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:16,840
Speaker 3: We've talked about her a lot, not today but in conversations.

1307
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,600
Speaker 3: Not already likes her. I love her, but there's a

1308
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:22,920
Speaker 3: way that she does what she does that keeps her

1309
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 3: from reaching the masses that some other people have reached.

1310
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:29,080
Speaker 3: And I think part of that is her tie to

1311
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:31,520
Speaker 3: what she really believes and what she really wants, and

1312
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:35,840
Speaker 3: that doesn't sell as well. So I think that's worth sacrificing. Yeah,

1313
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:39,160
Speaker 3: if we do these things, we might get viral faster

1314
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 3: and more people will listen to our podcast and we'll

1315
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 3: make more money. Sure, but is that worth having to

1316
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 3: do it that way? Or do we rather have the

1317
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:51,640
Speaker 3: slow burn? But then we feel okay about it? Yeah,

1318
01:06:52,120 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 3: slow burning we're slow burning. So no, I love our community.

1319
01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:58,440
Speaker 3: I mean, I know you do too, but I'm just

1320
01:06:58,480 --> 01:07:00,080
Speaker 3: saying I don't think either one of us all so

1321
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:03,120
Speaker 3: it's chasing. I also like, don't I don't think we

1322
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:05,960
Speaker 3: wake up every day of like I think we want

1323
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:09,960
Speaker 3: people to download or listen, but that's not my number

1324
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:12,960
Speaker 3: one goal in life, Like I think there are other things.

1325
01:07:13,080 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to be that big. That's terrifying to me.

1326
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:19,520
Speaker 3: I don't like I like. I like walking down the

1327
01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:21,480
Speaker 3: street nobody knowing who I am. And maybe for other

1328
01:07:21,520 --> 01:07:22,480
Speaker 3: people would be the same way.

1329
01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:22,800
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1330
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:24,520
Speaker 4: I can't speak for them, but I think for you

1331
01:07:24,600 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 4: and I, if our careers would change or we win

1332
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:31,080
Speaker 4: a totally different trajectory like we would be okay. And

1333
01:07:31,120 --> 01:07:33,600
Speaker 4: some people it's like, no, this is exactly what I

1334
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:37,160
Speaker 4: want to do. And don't get me wrong, I would

1335
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:39,480
Speaker 4: love for us to do some live shows again, because

1336
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:41,200
Speaker 4: when I do those and I get on stage, I'm

1337
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:44,240
Speaker 4: like I was born for this. That's how I feel

1338
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:46,200
Speaker 4: when I walk out on stage, like I love it.

1339
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:48,080
Speaker 4: I think it's just connecting with people and like seeing

1340
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 4: them there. But it doesn't have to be you know,

1341
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:53,680
Speaker 4: thousands people. It could be three hundred people in a room,

1342
01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:57,400
Speaker 4: and we've done that before, six hundred people in a room,

1343
01:07:57,440 --> 01:08:01,280
Speaker 4: and it still feels intimate. And I think it's just

1344
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 4: connecting with our people. So anyway, I do have that

1345
01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:08,400
Speaker 4: feeling of like I was born for this. And I

1346
01:08:08,480 --> 01:08:14,280
Speaker 4: also could move to Montana and make protein bars out

1347
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 4: of my kitchen, you know, and not never get on

1348
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,640
Speaker 4: social media again, and never be in front of a

1349
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:23,160
Speaker 4: microphone again, and I would be Okay, we just need

1350
01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:25,519
Speaker 4: to do the occasional live show so I could get

1351
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:26,440
Speaker 4: on stage.

1352
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:29,759
Speaker 3: Feel the brush. Okay. Well, if you guys have feedback

1353
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:33,160
Speaker 3: or questions or thoughts that you had while you listened

1354
01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:35,920
Speaker 3: to this episode, you can send them to us. Hey,

1355
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,800
Speaker 3: they're at Feeling Things podcast dot com. You can also

1356
01:08:38,840 --> 01:08:41,160
Speaker 3: send us questions for couch Talks, where we answer your

1357
01:08:41,240 --> 01:08:46,680
Speaker 3: questions on Wednesdays. You can Thursdays. It is Thursdays. Thank you.

1358
01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:48,879
Speaker 3: You can rate and review us and watch us on YouTube.

1359
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 3: Yeah five stars only thanks, it's kidding. Only rate us

1360
01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:55,120
Speaker 3: if you're gonna give us five starts. If not, just

1361
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:55,599
Speaker 3: keep going.

1362
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 4: No, just email us. That was my whole point. It's like,

1363
01:08:58,360 --> 01:09:01,880
Speaker 4: give us your criticism, but have to be public. But

1364
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:04,719
Speaker 4: I think some people thrive off of like three stars,

1365
01:09:05,479 --> 01:09:06,200
Speaker 4: four and a half.

1366
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:09,800
Speaker 3: They thrive off of giving that they get a N star. Yeah,

1367
01:09:09,880 --> 01:09:13,240
Speaker 3: A sucks, but hey, you know what, let them let them.

1368
01:09:13,280 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 3: And with that being said, have the Day you.

1369
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:17,720
Speaker 4: Need to have?

1370
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:19,639
Speaker 3: Should we do a book? Have the Day you need

1371
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:21,479
Speaker 3: to have? A whole book on it? That sounds like

1372
01:09:21,520 --> 01:09:24,920
Speaker 3: a children's book. No? No, don't you think I think

1373
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:26,160
Speaker 3: we could market it? If we market it?

1374
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:28,120
Speaker 4: Right, Have the Day you need to have?

1375
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:32,759
Speaker 3: It'll save your It'll change your life. And in seven words?

1376
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:34,599
Speaker 4: Where was her?

1377
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:35,559
Speaker 3: Better than two words?

1378
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:39,200
Speaker 4: I was trying to scroll back to wherever the definition

1379
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:41,760
Speaker 4: of okay? How many words was it?

1380
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 3: Seven?

1381
01:09:42,840 --> 01:09:45,559
Speaker 4: Seven simple words? Have the day you need to have

1382
01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:48,160
Speaker 4: will set you free from the exhausting cycle of trying

1383
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:50,080
Speaker 4: to manage everything and everyone around you.

1384
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,240
Speaker 3: That actually sounds pretty good.

1385
01:09:53,479 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 4: Okay, Bye bye

1386
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:00,360
Speaker 3: Z