1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and twenty, 11 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:39,159 Speaker 1: which is first airing in mid November twenty nineteen. This 12 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: isn't ask Us Anything episode, although honestly it's not anything. 13 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,599 Speaker 1: We are putting some limits on what you can ask us. Well, 14 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: they can ask us anything. They can ask us anything 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: that's true. I'm not promising we will answer anything, but 16 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: Sarah posted on our Instagram page, see you know, getting 17 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: a story posted there that you could questions, and people 18 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: sent in all kinds of questions on everything under the sun. 19 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: So we're just gonna pull from them and go and 20 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: probably do more ask Us Anything episodes in the future. 21 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: Because these are really fun, so Sarah, and then the 22 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: list goes all the way like down the questions, So 23 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: you don't think we're just gonna have to cut ourselves 24 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 1: off at some point, but I'm going to go in 25 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: pretty random order, and yeah, rapid fire. Now just a 26 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: little like behind the scenes. Normally we do a pretty 27 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: thorough pre prep and even when we do our Q 28 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: and as Laura and I write out our answers to 29 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,399 Speaker 1: the questions. But for this we decided we would just 30 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 1: kind of answer from our hearts. So of course somewhere 31 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,960 Speaker 1: who knows. So if there's a little bit more spontaneity 32 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,120 Speaker 1: in this episode, or we bought that perhaps Laura and 33 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: I could use some more spontaneity in our lives, then 34 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: here you go. All right. Number one This was directed 35 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: to me, but I think we both should answer it. 36 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: What is your dream vacation if you and your spouse 37 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: have time off? Now this wrote just in your spouse yees, 38 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: Hawaii would be great. Is this just you and your 39 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: spouse or is this including the children? I sort of 40 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: thought the way it says if you and Josh have 41 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,679 Speaker 1: time off, they probably meant, well, why don't you answer both? 42 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: If you have like answers for both, so I would 43 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: like to go somewhere exotic with Michael. We've done a 44 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: couple trips like this. We've done the African Safari Tripe trip, 45 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: which is a lot of fun to go in game 46 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: preserves and go around and see lions, elephants, stuff like that. 47 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: We did Tigers in India, which is also fun. But 48 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 1: I haven't been back to Australia in a long time. 49 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: I studied there in college, so Australia might be really good, 50 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: but I think it's not the kind of place I 51 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: would want to take the kids, at least for a 52 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: few years, because the flight is just so epic, and 53 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,640 Speaker 1: I know that one of the airlines probably contests, but 54 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: I'm not entirely sure is starting a direct flight from 55 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: New York that will go in twenty twenty one or 56 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,399 Speaker 1: twenty twenty two, so that could happen. You just get 57 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 1: on the plane and sit on the plane for seventeen 58 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,079 Speaker 1: hours and then you're in Sydney, so that that's how long. 59 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: It's about some time, but it's better than if you 60 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: have to go from the East Coast to lax so 61 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 1: that's you know, five six hours right there. And then 62 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,359 Speaker 1: have a two hour layover and then get on the 63 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: twelve hour flight to Sydney. So direct is always good, right, 64 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: I have too good an kids. Kids. I mean it's 65 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,360 Speaker 1: going to have to be somewhere like Disney World because 66 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 1: that's what they're going to request. How about you? Well, 67 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: I just this person wrote Hawaii, and I will say 68 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: we did really enjoy Hawaii. That was our honeymoon. But interestingly, 69 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: and I don't want to be unoriginal, but I would 70 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: also love we were thinking of New Zealand specifically, we 71 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: would have loved. I have just seen the pictures and 72 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: it's just otherworldly. But it is such a commitment, like 73 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 1: you need a number of days because at least a 74 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: day on each side is going to be essentially lost 75 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: to travel. And I also do have a dream of 76 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: just going to like Fiji and just doing nothing. That 77 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: sounds okay, we should both go to New Zealand sometime. 78 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: We'll have to, wonderfully, you have any New Zealand listeners? Well, 79 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: arrange for speaking ahead. But there was a question posted 80 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,839 Speaker 1: to Instagram that said will you take the show internationally? 81 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: E g. Australia? So I mean I would love to 82 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: physically do a best of both worlds performance in Australia 83 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: and if anybody wants to sponsor that opportunity and make 84 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 1: it happen, Laura and I will make ourselves available. However, 85 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: you know, the just the beauty of a podcast is 86 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 1: that it is international, right, I mean, you're you're if 87 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: you're listening from Australia, you can you can download us 88 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 1: from from any of the Australian podcasts cast apps. I'm assuming. 89 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: I don't think there's like censorship or anything not in Australia. 90 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: So that's the That's a lovely thing actually about the 91 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: podcast world. I do feel like, you know, it's I've 92 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: gotten to hear some interesting perspectives from other countries through podcasts. 93 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: So but you've had some international guests, which is also 94 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: pretty amazing if you think about it, that we can 95 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: connect to people just through online software and the fact 96 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: that they're in Europe doesn't matter. It's pretty And maybe 97 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: we'll have an Australian guest someday. That'd be great. All right, Well, 98 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: that took a long time for our first question. Oh yeah, 99 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,279 Speaker 1: I didn't even answer the rest of it. So with 100 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: the kids. With the kids, I am very much looking 101 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,479 Speaker 1: forward to the time that we get to do Europe 102 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: together as a family, when the kids are like old 103 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 1: enough to appreciate that. Just because my husband has these 104 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: fond memories of trips he took with his family, that 105 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 1: sounds like, I don't know, you know, they really made 106 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: an impact in his brain and they have all these 107 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: funny memories from them, and I'm a little jealous of that. 108 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: So hoping to give our kids that experience sounds good. Yeah, 109 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 1: all right, Question number two Laurago. First, how much do 110 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 1: you feel you have to censor yourselves on the pod? Well, 111 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: to a degree. I think I'm fairly open about most 112 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: things related to how I spend my time or how 113 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: I might be feeling about something. But of course other 114 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: family members are their own people and have their own stories, 115 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 1: and so particularly with anything concerning the older kids, I 116 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: would think long and hard before presenting stuff without their input. 117 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: For instance, I could talk to them like is it 118 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: okay to talk about this? And with Michael as well, 119 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 1: we generally try to not drag him into things. I'm 120 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: not saying, like, you know, life is perfect, hunky dory 121 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 1: or anything like that. But in general I would try 122 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: to not present another person in a certain way. Who 123 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: can't then come on and defend him or herself. So 124 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 1: that's where I tend to limit what I talk about. 125 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,479 Speaker 1: That's fair, Yeah, I agree. I mean this like is 126 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: my podcast in your podcast, but it's not Josh's podcast, 127 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: for example, So we had to be careful. You can't 128 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: really in sharing your own story. If you're too inclusive 129 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: of what you talk about, you could be telling somebody 130 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: else's story and invertinly and we definitely don't want to 131 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: do that. Same with the kids. Obviously, I can't speak 132 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 1: about I really don't want this to be a medical podcast, 133 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: and I don't honestly know about the liability related to that. 134 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: So having that, do not write in for Indo Chronology advice. Well, 135 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: I've gotten emails before and I just have like a 136 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: stock response, Yeah that I can't answer that. You see me, 137 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: you know, come to my office and be my patient, 138 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: and I'm happy to give you medical advice. I am 139 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: happy to give you medical advice. But yeah, so there's 140 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: I mean, there's another there's of course, some censorship. I 141 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: think we're fairly on this real side of the spectrum 142 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 1: compared to some of the curated content out there. I 143 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: think some of that is just the nature of our 144 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: podcast being fairly homegrown and just being our styles. But 145 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 1: of course their censorship. Let's be real. I know my 146 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: parents are listening. Hi, mom and dad. All right, question 147 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: it may not be addressing some of the questions that case, 148 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: we'll get there. We'll go okay, we'll get there. All right. 149 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: This one is for me, which was, can you give 150 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: some examples of what you treat and what your patients 151 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: you for? So I thought that was interesting that maybe 152 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: people might not know what a pediatric endocrinologist does. So 153 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: I treat diabetes, I treat early puberty, I treat late puberty, 154 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: I treat thyroid problems, I treat problems with periods and mensies. 155 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: And I treat patients who are looking to transition genders 156 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: in you know, the adolescent phases. So that's kind of 157 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: a new field of what's called like gender medicine. And yeah, 158 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: so all of those things, and I would say the 159 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: biggest proportion of my patients are still diabetes patients, with 160 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,320 Speaker 1: growth running a close second in my area, and then 161 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 1: a hodgepodge of everything else for the rest. Yeah, because 162 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: those are issues that have to do with and what 163 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: is indochronology. So yeah, well you know that hormones. Yeah, 164 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: it's the study of any condition related to hormones. But 165 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: in some cases, you know, you could say, you could 166 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: stretch that even further, like I think some of it's 167 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: just based on tradition, like back in you know, nearly 168 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: a century ago. Actually it wasn't even a full century ago, 169 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: the field didn't even exist, and actually diabetes was not 170 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: part of what pediatric endocnologists did until maybe the nineties. 171 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: There were still some diehards that said, we don't do that, 172 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: like that that's not you know, it is a hormonist, 173 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 1: I would say, isn't. Yeah, but arbitrary. So yeah, but 174 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: was that just not known? I mean I thought that 175 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: was no. I'm not sure what field did cover whether 176 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,959 Speaker 1: that was just more under the purview of the general 177 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 1: pediatrician at the time. But really there there are some 178 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,959 Speaker 1: old school pediatric endos who still don't cover diabetes, and 179 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 1: there are some programs who have divided themselves into endocrinology 180 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 1: and then diabetology, which is interesting, like that's generally in 181 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 1: a very large program. I have a friend at Colorado Children' 182 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: which is a renowned center and very large and they 183 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: have two separate teams. She's on the ENDO team because 184 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: she was not diabetes was not her favorite. I actually 185 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: like everything, so I'm glad that I get to see 186 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: a variety. Well, it's interesting because I mean I could 187 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: see that diabetes being its own condition and being relatively 188 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: common as as conditions go, that there might be a 189 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: benefit to having people totally specializing in that because it's yes, 190 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: I can see different from transgender medicine in terms of 191 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: what you're seeing, like what the issues are going to be. 192 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: And so yeah, that's interesting that it all comes under 193 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 1: one one umbrella. But yes, it's a fun umbrella. Is 194 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,079 Speaker 1: the animal? All right? Question this is a deeper one. 195 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to you can go first with us. I 196 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: just bothered on for a while. What would you tell 197 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 1: your younger self about motherhood and career? Hmm? And I 198 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: gonna say how young of a self are we are 199 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 1: we talking? I mean, is this eight or old Laura? Twenty? 200 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: Probably before you've had children. I want to say, you're 201 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: twenty two? Twenty two? Twenty two year old Laura? Okay, Well, interestingly, 202 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 1: this was when I was twenty two. There was a 203 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 1: ton of news about findings that you know, your fertility 204 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: like fell off a cliff after twenty seven or whatever 205 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: it was. That was the headlines that came out. I 206 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 1: think this was just right around the time that Sylvia 207 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,320 Speaker 1: am Hewlett's book Creating a Life came out, and so 208 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,719 Speaker 1: the headline coming out of that was just like, you know, 209 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,959 Speaker 1: forty plus percent of women who had these big jobs 210 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: did not have children by forty and you know, there 211 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 1: was all this to do about this. I was like, oh, well, 212 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 1: that's that's interesting. I mean, what I took away from 213 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 1: that is that probably I should start having children younger 214 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: if I was interested in having them, which I was 215 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: little did I know that that data is somewhat problematic 216 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 1: And it turns out, as listeners know, I am pregnant 217 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: again at forty. So I did, in fact get pregnant 218 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: at twenty seven, as you were supposed to do to 219 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 1: hit your peak futility window, and then turns out you 220 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: can also get pregnant at forty. That the data is 221 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: a lot less six three, a lot less all the ale. 222 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,959 Speaker 1: So no, it wasn't that I was rushed into it already. 223 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 1: Think I was very happy to start my family when 224 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 1: I did. But I think a lot of the negative 225 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: headlines were disconcerting to me at the time because I 226 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: didn't know, like, you don't know going in, like will 227 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: it be possible to keep leaning into your career while 228 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,559 Speaker 1: raising a family and having the life that you want? 229 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: And so I've sort of built my career around trying 230 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: to find people who are doing such things and sharing 231 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: their stories and hopefully sharing helpful advice with people. And 232 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: of course the good thing about doing that is that 233 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 1: the advice has been helpful to me too. So I 234 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,840 Speaker 1: chose chose a field that, in fact, it's all sort 235 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 1: of meta that you know, what would I tell my 236 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: younger self about combining work and parenthood. Well, I built 237 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 1: a career where I figure out how you do that? 238 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: And I would just hand her a copy of I 239 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 1: Know how she does I would hand her a copy 240 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: of I Know how she does it. That's true, and 241 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: I recommend anyone listening to this podcast do that too. 242 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: Any young women you know, Yes, how about ten women 243 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: you know? That's even about perfect your book club. All right, 244 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 1: here's a fun one before we take our break. We'll 245 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:09,559 Speaker 1: need a break after this one. Please talk about sex 246 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: post kids. Well, so, I mean the reason this person 247 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 1: was bringing this up is because there is a section 248 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: in my book Off the Clock in which I talk 249 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: about having tracked my time for multiple years, and among 250 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 1: the things that I do with my time, as you 251 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: might imagine, it's, you know, the reason I have five children, 252 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 1: you know, it's how much we need to be euphimistic here. 253 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: And so this makes it onto the timelog. And so 254 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: because of this, I know how often such things happen. 255 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 1: And the funny part about it to me was that 256 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: my tally of such encounters from one year was the 257 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 1: exact same as the tally of the next year. And 258 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 1: it's not like it was a multiple of fifty two. 259 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 1: So it's not like, oh, every you know, Friday and Sunday, Wednesday, 260 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 1: every Wednesday something. It wasn't a multiple of fifty two. 261 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,280 Speaker 1: It's not that. It's just that whatever reason, that's how 262 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,720 Speaker 1: it happened to go. And I'm happy to report that 263 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: the third year I tracked, the number did go up 264 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 1: a little bit, which was great. Wow, And that's why 265 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: you're having another baby apparently. You know, if you go, 266 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: I wonder if there's an app for that. Well, you 267 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: don't need an app, you just need to I know, 268 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 1: but what you were saying, it was just like my 269 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,800 Speaker 1: mind went to Strava and how I strack my workouts 270 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,480 Speaker 1: and I can get like a calendar. So I'm like, 271 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 1: I bet some I'm well, I'm sure there is there's 272 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 1: like certainly you know conception trackers when people are trying 273 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,080 Speaker 1: to get pregnant. There are ones that have fields for 274 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: intrigues time which because of course you know and do 275 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: so on your most fertile days, if that's what you 276 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 1: were pursuing. It could also be a page in your home. 277 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: It could be a page in your hope and it's 278 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 1: not in my life, not for you, Or it could 279 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: be a collection in your bullet journal if you have 280 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: notes on each separate thing. But I mean, I think 281 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 1: what this person is. The question I sort of get 282 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 1: from people from a time management perspective is often people 283 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: are really tired at night, or you know, they're being 284 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 1: woken up at night, which has a remarkably bad effect 285 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: on wanting to stay up later to do anything, or 286 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 1: feeding hormonal stuff somonal stuff immed at least not kind 287 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: to the or just you know, busyness, like the kids 288 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: are all over the place. You know, how do you 289 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: make time for that. And I think it really is 290 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 1: like anything else, deciding that it is a priority and 291 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: that you both want to have it happen. And if 292 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: you don't want to have it happen, that's a different 293 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:55,880 Speaker 1: issue that should probably be addressed, whether through through counseling, 294 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 1: or if there's medical issues that need to be addressed, 295 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 1: that's a that's a different issue. But both of you 296 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 1: are game. Then it's about saying, well, you know, even 297 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: if the circumstances aren't perfect, usually you're happy afterwards. So 298 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: maybe just try, you know, or carve out unusual times. 299 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: I was giving advice to some people recently who both 300 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 1: worked from home on a certain day of the week. 301 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 1: I said, well, that sounds like a great time for 302 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: a slightly longer lunch break, right, you know, it's or 303 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:35,000 Speaker 1: nap time on weekends, or in the morning, if you're 304 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: both up earlier than the teenage kids or something. I mean, 305 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: there's just all kinds of ways. It doesn't have to be, 306 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: you know, Saturday night. If both of you are passed 307 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: out tired on Saturday night and just be creative. I 308 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: love it. I'm not giving any more details because I 309 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: have too many family members that listen to this show. 310 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 1: So we're going to move on. Well, maybe we should 311 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: even just take a break at this point. Yes, all right, 312 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 1: so we're going to stap for a quick word from 313 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 1: our sponsors. 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Go to Betterhelp dot com slash best of 356 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: again b E stof Simply fill out a questionnaire to 357 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 1: help them assess your needs, get matched with a counselor 358 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:37,080 Speaker 1: you'll love that's Betterhelp dot Com Slash Best of All. Right, 359 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: we are back with our q and as, and our 360 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 1: next one is going to swing in the other direction. 361 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: How do you choose what activities to put your kids in? 362 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,479 Speaker 1: Availability or there or your interest? Well, you've had to 363 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 1: sort of redo this whole thing when you moved, so 364 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,120 Speaker 1: you know you're kind of starting from scratch. How did 365 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 1: you wind up making those decisions? Well, I guess, just 366 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 1: to reiterate, yeah, it used to be a superdecision of 367 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 1: can convenience because well, interest and convenience. The school had 368 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: built in enrichment activities. And I would just show that 369 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: schedule to Annabelle and Cameron because his school actually had 370 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: them too, and they would just kind of pick what 371 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: they liked great, logistically amazing. When we moved, those were 372 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 1: no longer options. We basically we've encouraged them to do piano. 373 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 1: I don't know how. I mean, they're not like complaining 374 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: about it, but it was a little bit more driven 375 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 1: by Josh and I feeling like it's just a nice 376 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,199 Speaker 1: basis to have learning how to read music and what 377 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 1: the notes are, you know, in case they learn other instruments. 378 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 1: And you know my backstories. I played piano for years 379 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,679 Speaker 1: and then played violin and singing, and I felt like 380 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: the piano really helped me in those other endeavors. So 381 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 1: I just wanted them to have that same kind of 382 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 1: early start. So that's the one activity I would say 383 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 1: they didn't really drive. Everything else has just been like 384 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,640 Speaker 1: they asked to do it, and then we see how 385 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 1: to fit it in. We try to do at least one. 386 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: I tell the kids, like, you have to do one 387 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 1: athletic thing. It could be dance, or it could well 388 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 1: it hasn't been danced for a while, but it could 389 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: have been, or it could be like a sport. So 390 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: currently Annabel is in basketball and also this like Ninja 391 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: class that she wanted to do, and then Cameron's in 392 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 1: basketball as well, and then they have to do one 393 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,199 Speaker 1: kind of creative thing, so that could be piano. Annabel 394 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: also really likes art, and then yeah, and beyond that 395 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,440 Speaker 1: just kind of mostly driven by them. We're really lucky 396 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,480 Speaker 1: that we have a nanny who's able to handle the 397 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:22,399 Speaker 1: logistical load, so we sort of plan more around what 398 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 1: the kids want to do within reason. Yeah, I mean, 399 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: interest is huge. If kids don't want to do something, 400 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 1: it's a lot harder to make them do it. We 401 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 1: have generally said something athletic and something musical. The musical 402 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 1: things can of course be at school. So Jasper just 403 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: joined his middle school's advanced choir, which is very exciting 404 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 1: but is logistically challenging because it meets twice a week 405 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,679 Speaker 1: at seven twenty a m. So that has thrown the 406 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: whole morning thing off. We are working on it, but 407 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: you know, it's it's very important to me that if 408 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,440 Speaker 1: a child takes the initiative to do something, to try 409 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 1: out for some thing, we provide the logistical support to 410 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 1: make it work. So he's doing that. Sam just elected 411 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 1: to take up the Alto sacks, so that's a new thing. 412 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 1: It just came home yesterday when we're recording this, and 413 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:21,399 Speaker 1: it's so cool. I would see him, like it looks 414 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: like a little blues musician walking around with his alto sax. 415 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 1: But he got to choose right, Like, so his school 416 00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: has a band and a band for and they do 417 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: music lessons as well. And I had thought he wanted 418 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: to do drums because he had asked for a drum 419 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: set last Christmas, which he got, and so he's learned 420 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 1: how to play, but he made a decision that he 421 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 1: would rather have the instruction in an instrument like the 422 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,720 Speaker 1: alto sacks, where it's a little bit more important to 423 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: have that and to develop a new skill that he 424 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,880 Speaker 1: could probably continue just playing the drums on his own. 425 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,119 Speaker 1: So yeah, now it's now we got the alto sax. 426 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,800 Speaker 1: So that's you are totally going to have a family 427 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 1: band someday maybe, which is like my husband's ultimate dream. 428 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 1: I don't know why he loved to talk about the 429 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 1: family band anyway, that's awesome. Okay, are you too as 430 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: positive about mothering, wifing working when you prep for the show? 431 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,679 Speaker 1: Can they? I think someone's imagining that we get on 432 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 1: we're like, oh god, my husband did these horrible and 433 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,359 Speaker 1: they're like, Hi, welcome to the best of those world 434 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 1: where we make work and life fit together. I mean, 435 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 1: are we positive about everything all the time? Like, absolutely 436 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,840 Speaker 1: not or I'm not anyway, I'm not going to speak 437 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: for you. But am I positive about my overall life situation? Yes? Yes, 438 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: I think I'm pretty positive about that most of the time, 439 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,680 Speaker 1: except when I have PMS. Yeah, I mean, well, and 440 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 1: that was the beautiful thing of Sarah having done that 441 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: month long blogging streak because that we got it all, 442 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: We got all the swings, all the swings. But yeah, 443 00:23:56,760 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I think both of us are fairly positive people. 444 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: That not saying that again everything is great. You know, 445 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 1: we both have things happen in our life that we 446 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: don't share everything on this podcast, But I think that 447 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 1: it generally behooves us to be grateful for our situations, 448 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: the things that we have been able to make happen, 449 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: and the things that, through no personal merit, have also 450 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:28,679 Speaker 1: come wonderfully into our lives, and to understand that because 451 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: we have these sort of resource and resilience that we 452 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,680 Speaker 1: can deal with stuff right like that you can approach 453 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 1: problems looking for solutions, and that is kind of a 454 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,119 Speaker 1: big message. I think of everything we try to do 455 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: here that we're not totally pollyanna ish, but there's often 456 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,360 Speaker 1: something you can do to make a situation better. Love 457 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 1: it all. Right, here's a fun one. What one thing 458 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: do you suggest expecting moms do before baby is born? 459 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 1: Get your childcare ducks in a row. I do agree 460 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: with that, and actually, like Laura, I've now added two 461 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 1: more people to my people I know are pregnant list, 462 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,399 Speaker 1: Like everybody in my life, I'm telling you it's catching. 463 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,439 Speaker 1: No it's not, but no, it's it's actually amazing. So 464 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: I feel like, No, the fun thing for me is 465 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: even though again, as I've said, like we are done 466 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 1: and Josh, I think Josh I mentioned my friend who 467 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 1: had four kids and her blog and how I liked it, 468 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:25,480 Speaker 1: and he looked at me. He's like, that's like a 469 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 1: really crazy life, right, And I was like, I don't 470 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,879 Speaker 1: think I was worried. I think he was worried. I 471 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 1: was in singing no it's not, it's not. We're happy. 472 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 1: But actually, what I do love is like talking about 473 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 1: baby stuff. So I'm getting my fill of that through 474 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,359 Speaker 1: all of these other people that are going through it. 475 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 1: Many for the first time or some really wide I 476 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: have a friend who's having her second and her kids 477 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,359 Speaker 1: are like eight years apart, so it's super fun. It 478 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 1: feels like a first time for her, and I think 479 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 1: one fun thing to do well two things. Number one, 480 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:57,440 Speaker 1: I would, I don't know, plan something fun for your 481 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 1: maternity leave, like something to look forward to, because it 482 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: can feel like a drag's kind of period. And if 483 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,120 Speaker 1: you're like, you know what I'm going to like read 484 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 1: these this trilogy of novels, like I'm going to save 485 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,120 Speaker 1: maybe like crazy rich Asian series and read it during 486 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 1: my matternity, like find something fun to look forward to 487 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: and maybe on that similar vein set up like some 488 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 1: friend dates or like something, because I kind of have 489 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,920 Speaker 1: wished I had done that because I found myself once 490 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,360 Speaker 1: I had the baby, I wasn't as much in planning mode, 491 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,679 Speaker 1: but I really did benefit from having social engagements and 492 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,639 Speaker 1: seeing people and being forced to leave the house. So 493 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,120 Speaker 1: maybe set some of those into action. But I agree 494 00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 1: with Laura, that's that's all like to do after you 495 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 1: have gotten your childcare ducts in a row. That's that's 496 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,080 Speaker 1: number one. Yes, Because I think a lot of people 497 00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: are like, oh well, I'll see how I feel once 498 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 1: the baby comes. You know, no, like that's that means 499 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: that you're going to be you're too late. You're too late, 500 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,720 Speaker 1: which means that you won't be able to go back 501 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,439 Speaker 1: to work, or if you do, it will be in 502 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 1: a subpar situation, which will guarantee that you will probably 503 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,640 Speaker 1: not be able to do what you You know, if 504 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 1: you decide you did want to go back to work, 505 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,159 Speaker 1: you're kind of shooting yourself to the foot. So I 506 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 1: want to settle for the daycare with the open slot. Yeah, 507 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 1: you know, you are much better off getting a situation 508 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 1: in place. Then you try it for six months. If 509 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 1: after that you're like, no, no, this is this is 510 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 1: not for me, that's fine. You can then make a 511 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 1: sort of rational decision about it six to twelve months 512 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,199 Speaker 1: or something and decide that you would prefer to be 513 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,399 Speaker 1: at home with your kids or something. But you know, 514 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,879 Speaker 1: you will make the decision for yourself by not getting 515 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: your childcare in place. And again, if that is your decision, 516 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 1: that's great. But if you don't know, you want to 517 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 1: make sure you have options, awesome? All right, this might 518 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 1: be filed under the not everybody Well, I'm fine answering this, 519 00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 1: but I don't know if you're going to want to 520 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,640 Speaker 1: answer this one. Do you guys get along with your 521 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 1: in laws, particularly mother in law? Yes? Oh good, Okay, 522 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,159 Speaker 1: well so if I'm very listeners would call it. My 523 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 1: mother in law accompanied me on the Disney Cruise with 524 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: my three older children in August, and she is such 525 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 1: a good sport. Oh my goodness, like come come see 526 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,359 Speaker 1: the sting rays and the dolphins and you know, deal 527 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,359 Speaker 1: with our kids and such on this boat. And she's 528 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,679 Speaker 1: she's all good for it. So yeah, we had we 529 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:19,160 Speaker 1: had a good time. Yeah. I'm also I'm like super lucky. 530 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,160 Speaker 1: In fact, I'm probably a little more prone to fight 531 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: with my own biologic mother and father, even though I 532 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 1: love them too than my in laws. They're just very 533 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:34,280 Speaker 1: easy and we appreciate what they do for us. So yeah, sorry, 534 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,199 Speaker 1: we don't have much advice to offer there, because I'm 535 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,840 Speaker 1: sure that's really difficult. Actually, though, I would say the 536 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,959 Speaker 1: one thing that I've read in various books that has 537 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,239 Speaker 1: struck me is sometimes people don't get along with their 538 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 1: mother in law and yet there's still the primary one, 539 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 1: like planning and talking with that mother in law, and 540 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 1: if that were the case. For me, I think I 541 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 1: would just be like Josh, you will be talking to 542 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,560 Speaker 1: your mom and I will be doing whatever the two 543 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 1: of you decide, like you like, remove yourself. Yes, the 544 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: extend your kids doesn't mean I have to have my situation, 545 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,880 Speaker 1: but if it's not one that is a particularly positive 546 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: one for you, I would say that's true. Yeah, all right. 547 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: How do you handle school functions with multiple kids any 548 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,280 Speaker 1: full time job? I mean, I guess that's just logistics 549 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:20,840 Speaker 1: in general. I mean I have the sort of general 550 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 1: flexibility that if there's something I deem important to go 551 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 1: to during the school day, I will go to it. 552 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 1: And because we have full time childcare, it's not a 553 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: problem for younger kids who are not in school at 554 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,280 Speaker 1: that point, So I have the ability to do that. 555 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 1: You know, evenings, do you go to everything? I don't 556 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 1: go to everything. I mean we Michael and I certainly 557 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: try to get dates on the calendar for things that 558 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: we think the children would really appreciate us going to 559 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: or that we think are important, like having a parent 560 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:58,640 Speaker 1: teacher conference, for instance. But it's not everything. I mean, 561 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 1: I don't know, there's you can't necessarily go to everything, 562 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 1: and if you have younger kids, for instance, it becomes 563 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:10,160 Speaker 1: logistically far more complex. So and in fact, that was 564 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 1: one of the things I found. It was sort of 565 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 1: easier probably for someone like me to take on something 566 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:19,680 Speaker 1: like room parent duties even though I work. But because 567 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,040 Speaker 1: I work, I have child care for younger children, and 568 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,040 Speaker 1: that means that I'm available during the workday in a 569 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 1: way that if you did not have regular child care 570 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 1: for your younger children because you were not employed, for instance, 571 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,480 Speaker 1: would actually be harder to do. That's true, that's a 572 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: good point. I mean, my philosophy is we just don't 573 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 1: go to We go to the things that feel important 574 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: a performance. Yes, parent teacher conferences, we actually both try 575 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,760 Speaker 1: to go to those, and luckily, you know, most of 576 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:49,320 Speaker 1: the teachers do appreciate that many families have two parents 577 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: that work, and so a lot of times those are 578 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: early in the morning or kind of at the end 579 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 1: of the day. I do. I would just add to that, 580 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 1: you can also often have another parent call in. Yes, 581 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 1: so I mean you want to ask obviously if the 582 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,640 Speaker 1: teacher is okay with it, but having the other parents 583 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: skype in from work, they may be able to get 584 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,160 Speaker 1: half an hour off in a way that they couldn't 585 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,320 Speaker 1: take the half day off, for instance, or if they're 586 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:16,480 Speaker 1: traveling for work, then that works as well. Absolutely. But 587 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,200 Speaker 1: the other thing is I feel like, you know, for 588 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 1: those volunteer opportunities, I certainly don't feel like I can 589 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: or should go to all of them for any one kid, 590 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: but I'm trying to at least get to one per 591 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 1: year for each kid. And I do try to take 592 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 1: my days off fairly strategically. Like Laura knows, I took 593 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,160 Speaker 1: Halloween off because I figured, I know, like there's going 594 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: to be stuff at school and sure enough, and don't worry, Laura, 595 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 1: it does not interfere with our podcast taping session. But Cameron, 596 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: I was asked there was an event from like eight 597 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: thirty to ten am, and I was like, perfect, because 598 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,120 Speaker 1: we're not recording till noon. And I took the day off. 599 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 1: And like when the Stars do a ligne, I will 600 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: jump at it because I know I'm not going to 601 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: be able to go to every single field trip or 602 00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 1: you know, every event. Yeah, so yeah, I just I 603 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 1: think you can give yourself permission to miss some your 604 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 1: kids will be okay, yes, all right? In what ways 605 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 1: we're getting deep, we need we need to find some 606 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 1: shallow questions, but we'll do one more deep one in 607 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: what ways have you shifted your expectations to have the 608 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: best of both worlds? Oh, I don't know, what are you? 609 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 1: How are you going to answer that one? Maybe you 610 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 1: go first on this one. It's a great question. I think, 611 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:30,200 Speaker 1: just continuing to shift away from perfection and towards good 612 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 1: enough and knowing that you know within your life you 613 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: are going to try to make the most of it. 614 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: But you really can't have everything, but you can have 615 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,480 Speaker 1: a lot. I guess that's sort of my overdriving philosophy. 616 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,040 Speaker 1: And I think I learned some of that from your 617 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 1: early writings, which is kind of amazing. But I think 618 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: it's I think so much of it is like letting 619 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 1: go of perfection and a book and letting go of 620 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 1: tropes that you didn't write. You know, just just remember 621 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: who's creating the rules and what the rules really are 622 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,360 Speaker 1: like that, Yeah, let go of tropes you didn't write. 623 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: That sounds good. I'll go with that too. You awesome? 624 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,040 Speaker 1: All right, let's find a let's find a like a 625 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 1: like A fun question. Well, this is sort of fun. 626 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 1: This is for Laura. Okay, you can choose to answer 627 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,880 Speaker 1: or not? What is your take on the index fund bubbles? 628 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:26,160 Speaker 1: It's my personal finance, macro economic you know quiz here 629 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: I saw when I saw that that question was on 630 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: the Instagram list, I went and looked up what this 631 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 1: listener was talking about. See the Planet Money episode. I 632 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: know what they're talking about because I listened to Planet Money, 633 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,200 Speaker 1: but they didn't ask me, which is interesting. But well, 634 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:42,600 Speaker 1: I think it's because I was the one who was 635 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: telling people to buy VT. It was vander actually World Desire. 636 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 1: I have like no opinion, so yeah, but I think 637 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 1: that the people who were quoted as worrying about an 638 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 1: index fund bubble were people who are in the business 639 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:04,080 Speaker 1: of selling managed mutual funds, which their whole business model 640 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 1: is getting people to pay higher fees in the hope 641 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,000 Speaker 1: that these managed funds will then make higher returns than 642 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,520 Speaker 1: the market. And some will, but on average they will not. 643 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 1: And because on average they're going to be about the 644 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,120 Speaker 1: same as the market, you then lose out because you're 645 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,520 Speaker 1: paying you know, one to even like five percent some 646 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 1: of these front loaded mutual funds fees, which is just 647 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,520 Speaker 1: killer for your returns, whereas the index funds, like you 648 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 1: are going to make the market. That is the whole definition. 649 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:35,440 Speaker 1: You will make exactly the market, minus a very small 650 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,759 Speaker 1: percentage for fees because they are not actively managed. The 651 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: one thing I did think was interesting is because there's 652 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,920 Speaker 1: only a few major players in the index fund world, 653 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,960 Speaker 1: the sort of vanguards of the world and other things 654 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 1: like that, there was a concern that because they're kind 655 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:53,200 Speaker 1: of owning the so much of these companies, as money 656 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 1: goes into the index funds, they have a much higher 657 00:34:55,560 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: vote in any shareholder situation. Maybe there's a long term 658 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:04,520 Speaker 1: governance issue with that, but that has nothing to do 659 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,440 Speaker 1: with like you personally like where you should put your money, 660 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 1: So I'm not too concerned about that. For most people, 661 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,279 Speaker 1: I think it still makes sense as an individual investor 662 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 1: to mostly have a diversified portfolio, which index funds by 663 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:27,120 Speaker 1: definition will will do that for you. So not too 664 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 1: concerned about it. Awesome. Well, I think we're at the 665 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,319 Speaker 1: thirty five minute mark or so. I think we should 666 00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:37,000 Speaker 1: finish up with one more question and then the rest 667 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: of these. There's plenty of juicy ones left we can save. 668 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 1: We're round two, so let's go with how often do 669 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,840 Speaker 1: you do date night? Well, probably not as often as 670 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:56,000 Speaker 1: maybe we should or would like to, And our weekends 671 00:35:56,040 --> 00:36:00,560 Speaker 1: have just been really full of other stuff of late. 672 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,279 Speaker 1: I love how someone's like, but you didn't mention friend time. 673 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't think it's kind of you know, 674 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,279 Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's in. Your weekends are like all 675 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 1: over the place, all over the place. Yeah, and you 676 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 1: see people at say a birthday party. So there were 677 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 1: two different birthday parties I went to in the weekend 678 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:23,799 Speaker 1: before this was sent in that question, and I saw 679 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 1: certainly parents there that I know, and I could chat 680 00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:29,000 Speaker 1: with them, and so you get this sort of adult 681 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 1: friendly interaction with those people, you know. I guess we 682 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,320 Speaker 1: don't necessarily have as much of this sort of going 683 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,799 Speaker 1: out with other couples. We do that occasionally, and that's 684 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,480 Speaker 1: that's fun when we do. But we've also just had 685 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 1: a lot of extended family visiting or things that we 686 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:52,919 Speaker 1: have obligations for that or even overnight trips camp cub 687 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,799 Speaker 1: scout camping, and it just takes you away for enough 688 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,239 Speaker 1: of Yeah, Like, you guys have just been doing a 689 00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:00,919 Speaker 1: lot of I would say family adventures, like a lot 690 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,680 Speaker 1: of which is really cool. Your kids are building such 691 00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,320 Speaker 1: amazing memories and it seems like it works for your family. Yeah, 692 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,880 Speaker 1: and you know, we sometimes we're better about it than others. 693 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,399 Speaker 1: And when we are in a good habit of doing 694 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 1: our calendar meetings and we look and see if there's 695 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,360 Speaker 1: a Friday night that we're both was gonna say, I 696 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,560 Speaker 1: thought you sometimes did a Is it just harder now 697 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,920 Speaker 1: because your team, like nobody's going to bed. So it's 698 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,840 Speaker 1: not like nobody's going to bed. I mean we we've 699 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,160 Speaker 1: been gone on Friday nights. We've had you know, if 700 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,000 Speaker 1: you're gone for the entire rest of the weekend, you 701 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: probably want to choose Friday as like the family night. 702 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:37,680 Speaker 1: You know, it's it's just not been as high a priority. 703 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 1: I will be interested in seeing if this resets and 704 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 1: becomes a little more home centered after number five. Yeah, 705 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,440 Speaker 1: now we'll probably do more of the Well, it's just 706 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,759 Speaker 1: you know, with big kids, there's no time after they 707 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 1: go to bed like that you could hang out together. 708 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:57,840 Speaker 1: So in the past, it would it would work to say, Okay, 709 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 1: the kids are in bed at like eight, and now 710 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: you can hang out and do this together. But that's 711 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 1: just gone, Like they're they're up later than I am 712 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 1: on weekends, so I'm like terrified because mine aren't even old. 713 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,319 Speaker 1: And I still feel like like that when I read 714 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,320 Speaker 1: I get so jealous when I read about other people. 715 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,279 Speaker 1: I mean, in a way, I feel like, Okay, well, 716 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 1: it's nice that my kids want to hang out with 717 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,759 Speaker 1: me and that you know, I don't have to like 718 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:20,880 Speaker 1: put them to bed at seven thirty, like they're not tired. 719 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,719 Speaker 1: Then they usually it's more like eight thirty, and a 720 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 1: lot of times it's close to nine, which they are 721 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,760 Speaker 1: actually fairly tired because they have to get up early, 722 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 1: and then I go to bed like thirty minutes later. 723 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,640 Speaker 1: So no, so we do I think because of that reason, 724 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,520 Speaker 1: we do have to go out for date night or 725 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:38,839 Speaker 1: I feel like we'll never have a coherent conversation, and 726 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 1: that's I don't know, just our and we do do 727 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,839 Speaker 1: a lot of them socially, So we tend to do 728 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,399 Speaker 1: like I would say, half double dates or like dates 729 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,799 Speaker 1: with friends and then half that's just us. And I 730 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,200 Speaker 1: would say we go two to three weekends a month. 731 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,439 Speaker 1: We'll go on Saturday night usually if we're not on call, 732 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 1: we're usually going somewhere or we have an event together, 733 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,680 Speaker 1: like we have to go to the ball that benefits 734 00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 1: the children's hospital where I work, and that'll be kind 735 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:07,040 Speaker 1: of like a date night event. Yeah, but it's still 736 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,239 Speaker 1: fun if you're going, I don't know, anything with your 737 00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,759 Speaker 1: partner is more fun than by yourself, could be true. 738 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:14,200 Speaker 1: Might as well call it a date night as well? 739 00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:17,120 Speaker 1: Call it a date night. All right. Well, you know, 740 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,359 Speaker 1: we'll we'll hopefully get back in the habit of this 741 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,160 Speaker 1: one of these days. But anyway, this is this has 742 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 1: been best of both worlds. We have been going through 743 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,440 Speaker 1: the questions sent to us from but what our love 744 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,399 Speaker 1: of the week? Oh no, love of the week. Oh 745 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:34,279 Speaker 1: well I was about ready to cut this off, but 746 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,880 Speaker 1: I will tell you, yeah, my love, do we the 747 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,799 Speaker 1: same love of the way, Yes, it's the exact same 748 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 1: level of the we. We're just so appreciative that we 749 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,520 Speaker 1: can put a call out on Instagram and get so 750 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,400 Speaker 1: many awesome questions and how engaged everybody is and what 751 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,440 Speaker 1: a community this feels like. And someone did ask about 752 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 1: and meet up as one of the questions, which maybe 753 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,239 Speaker 1: we'll I don't know, maybe we'll have a better answer 754 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,719 Speaker 1: for you by episode number two. But it just I'm 755 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,200 Speaker 1: just like so impressed. Like we don't even have a 756 00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,799 Speaker 1: Facebook page, but I still feel like there's the community 757 00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 1: of your listeners, So thank you so much. You are 758 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:05,520 Speaker 1: our love of the week. You make this a lot 759 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,359 Speaker 1: of us, so our listeners are definitely our love of 760 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,840 Speaker 1: the week. But yes, now, this has been best of 761 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: both worlds. So we've been doing ask us Anything, and 762 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,360 Speaker 1: we'll probably do more in the future because this turns 763 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,520 Speaker 1: out to be a great way to get an episode done. 764 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,759 Speaker 1: But we'll be back next week with more on making 765 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:25,080 Speaker 1: work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can 766 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 1: find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at 767 00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,040 Speaker 1: the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, and you can find 768 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:36,279 Speaker 1: me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been 769 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,640 Speaker 1: the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next 770 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,800 Speaker 1: time for more on making work and life work together.