WEBVTT - Master Manipulators 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.640 Hell I Suck At Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:10.639 and I heard radio podcast. Welcome everyone to a new 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:14.440 episode of Help I Suck At Dating. I'm Dean Anglert, 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:18.119 recording live from Amy Sugarman's house with Jared Haben and 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:20.560 Pappy and Pappy. Pappy sitting right next to you. He 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:22.960 looks quite adorable, So I think we should talk about 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:25.279 it right off the bat. You've officially adopted Pappy and 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:27.560 I think we've talked about on the podcast. Uh, you're right, Well, 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.479 we haven't really recorded a podcast since Tahoe two weeks ago. 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:33.120 I feel like we haven't recorded any podcasts lately. Were 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:36.519 you gonna say and Tori, I was gonna say, Anto, No, 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:39.199 It's okay, wait what um? Well, for the listeners out there, 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.159 I just wanted to introduce you as a guest on 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:45.400 the podcast this week. A co host our guest co 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:48.360 host Tory, who's a contributor to the podcast, because sometimes 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:51.839 you do, sometimes you don't contribute. You know, you always contribute, 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:54.319 it's just whether she contributes on air, that's yeah. That's 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:58.680 also I'm always I'm always the wind beneath your wings. Anyways, Yes, Jared, 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:02.160 I did adapt a duped well, Kalin and I adopted Peppi. 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:06.080 Congratulations man, that's super exciting. Thanks. Uh. Yeah, he's been 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:09.080 a laptor, great clapping, I mean, and now they're married, 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:11.480 they have kids. He's been a little lately. I like 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:13.880 came home, I went back to Caalen's apartment today and 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:16.840 he was like, yeapping away. He always cries when we're gone, 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:19.560 and he's peas everywhere, And you can't really get mad 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:21.959 at that, though. Why is he pas? He get does 0:01:21.959 --> 0:01:25.200 he get excited? He's got like a bladder problem. He's old. 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:28.800 How old he's eleven, he's got he's got a heart murmur, 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:32.640 he's got a tumor, he's got dental issues, clearly. But 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:34.640 you know what he has now a loving family, my 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:37.440 dad and dad. He's got a dad. You're a dad. Yeah, 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:39.840 he's pretty cool. We actually we're leaving tomorrow and we're 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:42.200 taking him with us. Were somewhere. Calin bought us a 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.280 trip somewhere and we're flying with him for the first time. 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:47.200 A little interesting and that's a surprise trip. You guys 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:48.840 do that a lot, huh. We try to do it 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:51.240 once a quarter, once every three months, once a quarter 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:54.200 for your business relationship, for the business relation that you're married, 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.000 completely for satire. See, the thing is we have you know, 0:01:57.040 --> 0:02:00.440 we have so much expenses and and and expenditures or month, 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:02.920 and if we don't hit our expenses for the for 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:06.080 the quarter, then the next quarter our expense has become less. 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:08.079 So we have to we have to spend that surplus 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:11.120 of money on a business expense, which is us hanging 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:15.280 out Kaylin and I traveling. Yeah, as if people couldn't 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:19.880 hit us anymore, we've got business expenses, bro. So so 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.160 you don't know where you're going? Are you nervous at all? 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:26.000 Because because of coronavirus? Not knowing where the euro percent nervous? 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:28.480 In fact, I think this whole thing and obviously this 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:30.280 is a good topical thing for this discuss and it 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:33.480 probably ties into dating. Should you date with the coronavirus 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:36.600 out there. I'm personally not afraid of it whatsoever. Other 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:39.320 you guys, I think it should be taken seriously, But no, 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:41.240 I'm not afraid of it. I don't think it. I 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:43.280 think the media is blowing it so out of portion. 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:45.600 And yes, cases are going to go up, and yes, 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:48.400 unfortunately people will die from this disease and it is terrible. 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:50.880 But the fact is it is a flu strain, and 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.520 that's what happens. You know, they say, I think, uh, 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:56.560 and if if you're over eighty, I think the stat 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:59.120 is you have a one in six chance of of 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:02.160 dying from the season. But then everybody else it's it's 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.040 you know, your chances are like point zero zero one too. 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:09.200 I I don't know this. I just know if anybody 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:11.880 in this whold like our whole heart family, is going 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.400 to get it, it's going to be me. You're gonna 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:15.880 say it was gonna be one of us. No, I 0:03:15.960 --> 0:03:19.040 just know my luck, and it's gonna be I'm going 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.720 to Florida in a couple of days. Then you're what 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:30.520 a year old healthy person one same thing. You're literally 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.480 just turned. You're a young adult who's healthy. There's a 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.120 zero percent chance that anything is going to happen to you, 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:38.320 for the most zero, but you'll be fine. There's a 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:42.000 high chance, I like chance of you kidding, yeah, Florida, 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:44.600 I can. I just feel like, I think from from 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:47.120 a person that enjoys traveling standpoint, and now is the 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:50.760 time to be booking plane tickets and hotels that'd be cheap. No, 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:53.320 they're not. That's such a fabrication, not true. I just 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:55.840 booked a flight to d C because Ashley and I 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:57.760 are going to go visit her family. Not cheap at 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:02.200 all domestic and last up buying yes, like the Hawaii 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:05.120 right now. Yeah, I know. I just saw that. I 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:08.160 was like, uh, somebody from the office, they're going for Bucks. 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:10.080 It's crazy. I don't know who the office is. But 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:12.920 why guarantee international flights are super cheap? Right now? Nobody 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:16.200 wants to travel international because well, the only nerve wracking 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:18.480 part from me would be traveling internationally would be if 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:23.080 you did catch it in a different country, then yeah, 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:27.160 that's insane that now. And then like you can't go 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:31.440 out of your your house unless you have like documentation 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:33.400 that you have to be somewhere. So I saw a 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:35.360 meme about this, like China is doing the same thing. 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.640 Italy is doing that. Like everything well like the like 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:42.479 Wuhan and the places where it's sad and then it's 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.440 it goes to in America is talking about pushing Coachella 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:47.320 back a couple of months. Yeah, well there's not a 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.159 wide spread in America right now. And I think the 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:52.320 problem is the way the media is portraying it. They're 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:54.440 saying that it's going to spread. It's going to spread. 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:56.880 They're not wrong. But at the same time, we have 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:59.919 to anticipate that and not be terrified of it, just 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.680 like a cold spreads, just like the flu sp I 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:04.160 mean us in Los Angeles, we're in a state of 0:05:04.200 --> 0:05:08.720 emergency right now. Yeah, allegedly all the toilet paper is 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:11.680 like gone from Superstars. Yeah, I mean, like, what do 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:15.000 we I haven't wiped my button days, you guys, what 0:05:15.520 --> 0:05:17.240 did we just say? Is that a serious there's no 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:18.920 toilet paper? What am I supposed to wipe it with? 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.760 You can shower it afterwards, if I showered, Yeah, that 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:24.839 would be a good solution. Keep toilet paper stocked in 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:27.400 your van. I have toilet paper rolls on my van. Yeah. 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:28.560 I don't know if this is true enough, but I 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:31.560 remember hearing that Ben our very own, lovely Ben Higgins, 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:35.960 after he defecates, he doesn't wipe. He just jumps immediately 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:37.320 into the shower if he can. I mean, I'm not 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.240 gonna lie. I've done that plenty of times. I was 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.240 a poor college student for a long time, So you 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:43.560 wouldn't buy toilet paper if I, like, let's say we 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:45.560 ran out, I hadn't gone to the store for a while. 0:05:45.600 --> 0:05:46.960 I didn't have the funds to go to the store. 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:50.680 Just jump in the shower. That seems so cross to 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:54.000 me on the double up on the soap, but I 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.160 that is interesting. Should you go on dates during coronavirus tory? 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:59.120 You're the only single one amongst us. Would you go 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:00.719 on a day right now? Someone asked you. You know 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:05.520 what's funny. I was at the like a somebody's birthday 0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:08.360 party at Roccos the other day, like on sunset. Yeah, 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:12.040 that's landspasses bar. Somebody else told me that I didn't 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:16.240 know that. Um, And I was like, this is this 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:19.880 is probably where I would get it too. And I 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:21.840 was at the bar like leaning, and I was like, 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:25.240 are you a hypochondriac, because not at all. That's twice 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:28.680 now that you've been pretty pretty adamant. I just know 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:33.279 my luck and I'll get it. But um, I haven't 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:37.880 thought about germs before really until now, where I'm like, oh, 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:41.440 for sure, the bar is just getting like smeared with 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:44.120 like a wet rag. There's no like sanitation, and that 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:45.600 is a lot of people putting their hands on the 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:47.160 bar being like, give me another ring. Well, two things 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.320 you can always remember to do is wash your hands 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:52.160 constantly for twenty seconds each time with soap and water. 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.240 It's very important, Dean. Don't shake your head because I'm 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:58.000 I again thinking, of course, this should be taken seriously 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.760 so we can try to eliminate it as quickly as possible. 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:02.239 But at the same time, I don't think there should 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:04.720 be panic. And the way to contain this thing as 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:06.840 best as possible wash your hands and then try not 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:09.720 to touch your face because then, because like you said, 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:11.600 if your hands are on the bar and if you 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:13.320 don't wash your hands and then you touch your eye, 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:15.480 you could potentially be getting it if somebody at the 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:18.440 bar had it. I'm not worried at all, um about 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:20.080 getting it, But my friend made a good point the 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:21.840 other day because I was talking to him about it too, 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:23.360 and he goes, I don't know, I don't care about 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:25.720 getting it, but I'm worried about getting it and spreading 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.200 it to someone else that could potentially die from it. 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:31.840 Like his father, for instance, has had a liver transplant 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:33.480 or whatever, I can't remember exactly what it was, and 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:36.360 if he got sick, he would essentially, odds are pretty 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:37.720 likely he would die from it. So he's like, I'm 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:38.880 scared to get it because I want to give it 0:07:38.920 --> 0:07:40.680 to my dad kind of thing. Of course, No, that's 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:42.520 a very real thing that people need to be aware 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:45.160 of because, like you said, us in this room, knock 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.200 on wood, we probably don't have too much to worry 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.480 about because even if even if we get it, we'll 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.680 be able to fight it off hopefully pretty easily. But 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:53.560 like you said, if we get it and we continue 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:56.480 to live our daily lives and we, you know, give 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.800 this to somebody who doesn't have as good as immune 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.720 system as us or is elderly, that could cause issues. 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:03.680 And I think that's why people are trying to contain this, 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:05.920 because they know that most people will be fine, but 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:08.120 they want to save as may a lot as possible. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:11.440 If you get it, hopefully have a hot doctor. Talking 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:15.120 about hot doctor, hot doctor to take care of you 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:17.400 well for you, quarantine that's kind of more for you. 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:23.560 I just want a good doctor anyways. So, so your 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:28.280 plan is to go to Florida coronavirus, get quarantined with 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:32.080 what's the dude's name from Grey's Anatomy, The Gray Hair 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:38.120 One McDreamy. No, that was not that's not dreamy. Mcam 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:44.240 patrick one. I don't know you guys anyway, you guys 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:48.679 fall in love. I get cured of coronavirus. Listen, I know, 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:51.040 happily ever after. I know. We could talk for days 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.920 about hot doctors and coronavirus, but we do need to 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.320 move on. We watch part one of The Bachelor finale 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:00.760 last night, and we have doctor Nancy Lee coming in 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:03.000 as a guest in our next segment. She's going to 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:05.079 dissect that a little bit with us. Yes, she's the 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.440 author of Don't Sleep with Him Yet, A Badass Guy 0:09:08.520 --> 0:09:12.240 to Dating in ten Empowering Steps. All that and more 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:22.960 coming up after this quick break. Welcome back. We have 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:25.320 a very special guest just joining us right now. She's 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:28.360 a psychologist. She's also the author of Don't Sleep with 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.600 Him Yet, A Badass Guy to Dating inten Empowering Steps. 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:34.040 It is Dr Nancy Lee. Doctor. Thank you so much 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.200 for joining us on the podcast. Hi guys, thanks for 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.520 having me. Of course, So did you watch the first 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:41.120 episode of the first part of the finale of the 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:46.679 Bachelor last night? Oh? Yes, definitely, what are your thoughts interesting? Really? 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:51.319 We're here describe the whole show really interesting. We won't 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:55.439 get me started on mothers, but that's a whole other episode. 0:09:56.200 --> 0:10:00.280 Love is definitely blind, um, but it's also interesting to 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:06.280 see that people were really standing up for themselves, both 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:09.720 Hannah and Madison. I basically, Hannah was you know, I 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:12.439 need more. So it's like a lot of believe it 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:14.480 or not. But a lot of women don't do that, 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:18.640 like they don't really assert themselves in relationships. At Madison too, 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:21.000 she was saying this is this is me, take it 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:24.680 or leave it. So that was impressive. Yeah, I thought 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.040 both of them repressive. Why wouldn't you start on mother's 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:31.640 because I am curiosity, because I know because I am 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:37.880 a mother. I the Barbara takes pushiness to a whole 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:41.520 other level. I mean, basically, how do you make a 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:47.079 determination if somebody is quote unquote perfect for somebody else 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:49.400 by meeting them once? So you didn't like Barbe telling 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:52.680 Peter that he should pick handhand not madisone. I tend 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.960 to throw away all the shoods, especially when they come 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.440 from meeting somebody once who is just gushing about somebody 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.840 she does even though and by the way, as a psychologist, 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:07.160 I think perfect is scary. I mean, really, what's I 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:10.520 always if I meet somebody who seems perfect, I kind 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:14.280 of feel like what is hiding is perfect? Right, what's 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.720 hiding behind the perfection? I'd also argue there's no such 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:20.040 thing as somebody who's perfect for you. Yes, I agree. 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:22.920 You take a relationship, you make it right, you choose 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:26.480 one and absolutely you choose one another, you make it work. 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:29.560 So I also like to toss out the word perfect. 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:31.920 I think what I at least experienced when I watched 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.480 the show last night was the reason Barbara got so 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.960 attached to Hannah Anne was because they were basically a 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.280 mirror of each other in my opinion, like Canna and 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:41.680 was super emotional in that whole conversation, and barbaras obviously 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:45.760 is a little emotional as well. And they even look alive. Yeah, 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.640 she even like Barbara made that comment, Oh my god, 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:54.959 she this this gorgeous. This woman is breathtakingly gorgeous. And 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:58.840 she reminds me of us. I was curious what you 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:01.240 looked like thirty years ago. Google her. She actually looks 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:05.480 like him. Interesting. They're very similar types. And by the way, psychologically, 0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:10.040 we tend to have an inherent bias towards people who 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:13.880 are like us, whether we're talking about like romantic relationships 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:18.280 or weighing in on somebody else's relationship, but we have 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:22.160 an inherent bias towards somebody like us. And there's the 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:26.840 Oedipus right, Yeah, big time, we're seeing pictures of Barbed 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:29.480 as a younger woman. Yeah, I can see the similars 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.079 between even in the in the thirty year or whatever 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:34.599 gap that we saw last night. You see some I 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:38.240 saw similarities appearance. I think they look more like last 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:40.200 night than what I'm seeing right now. But I get it. 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.400 So I guess tie back into your let's tide into 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:43.880 your book. So don't sleep with him yet? Is the 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:47.120 book that you wrote? Um, let's let's go and just 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:50.240 think about Peter's experience in fantasy suits. We can't assume 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.200 he obviously didn't sleep with Maddie because they never spent 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:53.959 the night together. We don't know what him in hand it, 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.440 but they were intimate. Per Peter's words, do you think 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:58.840 that has that has any bearing on or any indication 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.480 on what he's going to do from I don't think 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:05.440 it's fantasy sweets per se. I just think it's everything 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.720 how he feels about the woman. He seems to be 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:12.520 really like absolutely in love with Madison at this point 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:16.040 at least. Also, it's really interesting because the type people 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.679 either love or hate the title of my book, So 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:21.640 I was choosing something meant to be provocational, but it 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:26.680 really is about throwing out the rules, throwing out the shoods, 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:32.560 like basically sleeping with somebody whenever it's right for you. Ironically, 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:37.800 like there's so much quote unquote i'll call it virgin 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:42.840 shaming so or or even just women who maybe don't 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:46.040 want to hook up straight away, you know, or have 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.400 sex on a really early date. So a lot of 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:52.560 like those women are saying, oh my gosh, thanks for 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:56.240 writing this book. But like I'm also hearing from women 0:13:56.280 --> 0:14:00.840 who are like really getting in touch with their sexuality 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.480 because I say, also, like there are times where a 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:08.360 woman wants to sleep with somebody immediately, and that's fine. 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:13.680 Just understand, like just understand yourself, to quote The Bachelor, 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:16.440 make sure you're doing it for the right reason, the 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:20.120 right reasons. So yeah, yeah, that's perfect. Well, Jar, what 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.120 do you think because from from our perspective or from 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.400 my perspective at least, uh, Peter wants what he hasn't 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:28.560 had yet, which is, you know, he hasn't had the 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:31.000 intimacy with Maddie. Obviously, that's it's deeper than that, and 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.920 there's more, there's more to it than that. But from 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:35.880 my experience, I've experienced that before too. It's like you 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:37.320 always kind of want the thing that you haven't gotten 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:38.720 yet or can't have, and so that's kind of why 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.280 I feel like this like burning desire to be with 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:43.360 Maddie is so strong for him at the moment. What 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:46.840 do you think, Yeah, I agree, I think Peter. I 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.520 think Peter is suffering from nice guy syndrome where he's 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.440 trying to please everybody, and yet he seems to be 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.320 making everybody upset, because that's what happens. You can't please everybody. 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:59.760 And I think you talked about how Madison and Hannah 0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:02.360 and and We're good last night in the episode Doctor, 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:05.520 because they really vocalized what exactly they wanted. I'm not 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:07.800 sure if Peter has done a good enough job of 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:11.240 doing that with the women thus far um because I 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.960 think that he keeps he keeps trying to say what 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:17.040 he believes is right in the moment, But I'm not 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:20.280 sure it's really what he believes. And so I think 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:22.880 it's really costing him at this point because it's it's 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.520 very obvious that he's more into Madison than Hannah. And 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:27.120 but I agree with Dean. I think that he's so 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:30.120 into Madison because Madison is showing signs of well, I 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:31.720 don't want to be with you, and so he wants 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.880 what he can't have. And also, you know, I just 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:38.440 think again, I like Peter. I think he's a nice guy. 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.120 I've kind of felt like this from the beginning. He 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.000 might have just not been ready to be the Bachelor, 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.040 because I think that you have to be ready to 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:49.800 a certain extent. And and then last night, everybody like, 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.400 how many times do we hear about his lifestyle and 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:55.520 him clubbing and going out. It's like, Oh, that's that's weird. 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.880 Why is there Why is there family concerned about that? 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:00.440 And then so I think that's why I hope he 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.160 picks Hannah and because I think that him and Hannah 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:03.800 and are just a better fit. I was pretty vocal 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.040 on Twitter about being pro team Hannah and and I 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:08.440 feel like you and I might be in the vast 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:11.040 minority there because it seems like everyone wants him to 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:13.040 pick Maddie, maybe because he does seem so much more 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:15.320 polarized by her. I think they want to They want 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.440 him to pick Maddie because they no offense to hand. 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:20.200 And I think the majority of people are are are 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.840 more invested in Madison. They they, for lack of a 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:25.600 better way of phrasing it, they like Madison better. So 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:29.000 they're rooting for Maddie. But watching this season, I think 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:32.560 Hannah And is a far better quote fit for Peter 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:34.320 and his lifestyle. I think Peter the same thing with 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:36.560 Hannah and I think they would have a better relationship, 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:39.760 except that he may be picking up on something about 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:44.320 hannah And that we don't see, because she does seem great. 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:46.720 Notice I didn't say the word perfect, but she really 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:50.880 does seem great. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's fun to 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:55.280 talk to, she's articulate. But obviously he's not connecting a 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:58.240 percent and is all. Is it also coincidental that he 0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:00.720 his final two or twenty three year olds just out 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:04.320 of curiosity? For you? That's really that's that's a great question. 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:07.480 I have to give that some thought. Maybe I mean 0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:10.320 it maybe that the you know, maybe Jared, because of 0:17:10.359 --> 0:17:13.359 what you said that he's kind of like not quite 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:16.640 ready and a little bit immature himself, So he's choosing 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.320 women who are younger that way. Yeah, that's actually a 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.440 really good insight consequential. I guess, you know, you choose 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:25.320 the twenty three year old, you get it wrong, it's 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:26.960 not as big as if you chose a thirty one 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:29.919 year old. I got it wrong, right, And I'm not 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:32.320 even saying he's doing this consciously. I think it might 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.520 have kind of worked out that way, but I'm curious 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.800 that there's something under the layer where like we were 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:39.560 talking about, maybe there's a part of him that's not 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:41.879 ready and he's not coming to terms with that, and 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:47.200 then subconsciously he's he's going towards uh, you know, younger women. 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:49.480 I don't know what do we think is going to 0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:53.239 happen tonight for the finale? Part two? Oh gosh, so 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:56.440 I need a crystal ball here here. I think that 0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:59.760 he's probably is going to connect with Hannah, and because 0:17:59.800 --> 0:18:03.040 that's kind of like the easiest thing to do right away, 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.600 hard to say, And of course here I'm thinking about 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:10.320 Chris Harrison's this is the most every season, right is 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:15.760 a most dramatic Again, tumultuous, but something does happen, does 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.560 I mean, does he choose Hannah and change his mind? 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:23.480 Does Madison come back? So again, I think it's going 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:25.760 to be a very like all the Hannah and is 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.199 the obvious choice right now. I just don't know that 0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:32.439 she's going to be like the permanent choice. Also, somebody, Jared, 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:36.440 you made a point before about and I think Dean 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:40.320 also about what's up with Peter. I think he's the 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:44.679 male version of the people pleaser. Um. Typically, we women 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.760 are much more inclined to be people pleasers than men, 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:52.960 just because we're acculturated that way. But I really see 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:59.119 Peter like basically not really standing up for himself. And 0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:01.439 I'm not just saying last night, but especially like his 0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:05.679 relationship with Victoria for months, he just doesn't really assert 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.960 what he wants or needs. I think Dean said, and 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:12.880 You're so right that he's worried about everybody else, but 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.920 he doesn't really stand up for what he wants. You You, 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.639 you typically see that with a lot of women, so 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:21.080 I'm seeing that with him, which is kind of yeah, Oh, 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:24.880 I completely agree. I think again, like we said, he's 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:27.000 a nice guy, but sometimes he's a nice guy to 0:19:27.080 --> 0:19:30.480 a fault because, especially in this world and when you're 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.320 dealing with relationships and potentially engagements in marriage, you have 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.359 to be selfish to a certain extent, and you have 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:40.200 to vocalize what your expectations are, what your needs are, 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:43.359 what your wants are. And I think sometimes, like you said, Peter, 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:47.560 at times has just been a little bit reserved and 0:19:47.800 --> 0:19:50.880 unwilling to do that because he's trying to please everybody. Yes, 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:53.320 and I think it might be costing him now, which 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:55.560 sucks because I think if he was just he put 0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:57.800 his foot down a little bit more, uh, he wouldn't 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:00.400 be getting nearly as much backlash as he's getting now. So, Jared, 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:05.000 do you have any predictions for tonight? Um? I may 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:10.879 have looked some stuff up so well, because I'm just 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:13.560 I'm the guy that wants to know, Like my curiosity 0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:15.000 always gets the best of me, so I have to 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:18.080 look beforehand, especially with this stuff. That's why I'm bad 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:20.480 with watching TV shows like I can't wait ten twelve 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:22.439 episodes for a season finale like I need. I like 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:24.840