Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Interesting topic, David Harber says he's tried dating normal people
Speaker 2: in his early twenties, but they don't get his life
Speaker 2: as an actor. So David Harber was talking about his
Speaker 2: dating history during a conversation with Scarlett Johansson, who also
Speaker 2: said that she tried dating someone more normal.
Speaker 1: What she says she said?
Speaker 2: She said dating men outside of Hollywood cause jealousy since
Speaker 2: actors get very intimate. So she said, I've had serious
Speaker 2: relationship with people that were not in the industry, and
Speaker 2: I found one of the challenges was that the person
Speaker 2: had no idea of what I needed to do my job. Obviously,
Speaker 2: if I was dating an oncologist, I wouldn't know what
Speaker 2: they needed to do for their job. But it's not
Speaker 2: so abstract. Also went on to say, I think it's
Speaker 2: easy to create a lot of jealousy when a person
Speaker 2: is not involved in the industry because actors by nature
Speaker 2: are very free speed and they create very intimate relationships
Speaker 2: with people at work. They can be loyal to a
Speaker 2: partner and also very engaged in all these other kind
Speaker 2: of relationships. I think that can blur lines for some people.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: I love one of the questions in this because it
Speaker 2: was alan, is Janna the first actress you've dated? It's
Speaker 2: like the first question I popped.
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, it's not.
Speaker 4: It's not.
Speaker 1: It's not Tell Tell not Talen.
Speaker 3: But no, it's not.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: I mean, would we say that that one was an
Speaker 2: actual relationship though?
Speaker 1: No, that was just like a fun little hook up.
Speaker 3: Okay, pass, Yeah, I mean it was absolutely not relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was Yeah, it's not even more discussing, but yeah, no,
Speaker 3: you're not the first actress that dated. But I don't
Speaker 3: I don't see people as like see this quote here,
Speaker 3: of dating normal people. Yeah, like the fine define normal.
Speaker 1: An oncologist not a normal job, a teacher.
Speaker 3: Because they're not in the lime light makes them normal.
Speaker 3: And I think it's I think it's I see your point.
Speaker 3: It's kind of the crying of their profession and the
Speaker 3: and demeaning of their not demeaning, but it's almost like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's only an ecologist, and an oncologist is an important
Speaker 3: job very and not by no means a normal person.
Speaker 3: So I think the definition of what normal is is
Speaker 3: it's different just because someone is an actress and they're
Speaker 3: in the limelight, or an actor they're in the limelight.
Speaker 3: It doesn't I don't think they can quote other people
Speaker 3: as normal.
Speaker 2: I I am, I agree with. I totally hear what
Speaker 2: you're saying. Yeah, Like, I definitely hear what you're saying.
Speaker 2: Having said that, I do think there's a bit of
Speaker 2: abnormality with our jobs. Like an oncologist is not kissing
Speaker 2: random co workers, I hope not. Let's just let's just
Speaker 2: start with that.
Speaker 4: I hope.
Speaker 2: I hope they aren't, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: A doctor isn't having a with people at walk I
Speaker 2: hope not. Again, let's just go to straight up, I
Speaker 2: hope not. So that's where I think it doesn't make
Speaker 2: it a normal quote unquote job.
Speaker 1: I totally hear what you're saying that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just don't like the phrase normal.
Speaker 2: Sure, I it is a it is a I mean,
Speaker 2: I guess what would be the work because I totally
Speaker 2: hear what you're saying, and I wish there was a
Speaker 2: better word too, Yeah, because I totally get it, Like
Speaker 2: just oh, just because you're a teacher, that makes you normal,
Speaker 2: Like no, no, you have a very important job of
Speaker 2: teaching kids. And you have like that's that's not and
Speaker 2: to me, like that would be a really hard job.
Speaker 2: I couldn't imagine the patients that teachers have, so that's
Speaker 2: that would be a really hard job. I would say,
Speaker 2: we're warning but hard. But again with acting, it is so.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 2: The things that we have to do are not typical
Speaker 2: to what other professions would do, hopefully during during their
Speaker 2: work hours. It shouldn't be what they're doing.
Speaker 3: I think there's a part of my profession where people
Speaker 3: have a judgment and people have an opinion because I
Speaker 3: train higher level players and stuff like that. Granted I'm
Speaker 3: not guessing.
Speaker 1: My clients again, I hope not.
Speaker 3: So that dynamic is different. Sure, absolutely. Did you find
Speaker 3: that hard to date normals normals?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's difficult at times for sure, because
Speaker 2: they don't understand like you really you know, we've had
Speaker 2: this conversation so many times on here about intimate scenes,
Speaker 2: I mean to you know, to the we don't even
Speaker 2: need to discuss it again, like we know we're you
Speaker 2: stand on it. So you know, it is a lot
Speaker 2: easier to date an actor who understands that piece of it,
Speaker 2: you know, because we are so and that's I think
Speaker 2: even when you came to visit me on this last set,
Speaker 2: we are around the opposite sex in a different in
Speaker 2: a more intimate way in scenes and then hanging out
Speaker 2: with them when the cameras are. But also you see
Speaker 2: the it's not in a a lot of times like
Speaker 2: word she says, She's like, the lines can be blurred. Absolutely,
Speaker 2: they can for sure get blurred. But there's also a
Speaker 2: piece where when you are in a respectful marriage and.
Speaker 3: You can see the red stump to fell off in
Speaker 3: my eyes. Here, why as the devil takes over me?
Speaker 2: No, like you know, different situation. You know with this
Speaker 2: obviously I'm not single onset you.
Speaker 3: Can get blood. How can the lanes get blowed?
Speaker 2: Well, because you're around the person so much so if
Speaker 2: you're single and you're with this person all day long.
Speaker 1: But as i your.
Speaker 3: Shingle does nothing to blur your single you can do
Speaker 3: the hell you want anyway. So where's the blood lines?
Speaker 2: The blurred lines are You're it's you're at summer camp
Speaker 2: and you're blurring professionalism. Just like in any job, really
Speaker 2: you can blur lines. But I think with this situation,
Speaker 2: it's you know, you're around the people. But you see,
Speaker 2: when you're around the people a lot too, you can
Speaker 2: get annoyed to them as well. I'm like, you know,
Speaker 2: and where I'm now, it's a I just like to
Speaker 2: kind of be alone because I show up, I do
Speaker 2: my work, I want to go home.
Speaker 3: You can like someone at first and like the company
Speaker 3: being around, and then day three or four like pain
Speaker 3: in the ass, can't be asked, get me away from
Speaker 3: this person. Yeah, because you spent so much time with them.
Speaker 3: I understand that.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: But I do see where lines can get blurred. But
Speaker 2: I think it is easier. I have a question about
Speaker 2: the person that you how many how long did you
Speaker 2: date that actress?
Speaker 3: And then there's only one day?
Speaker 1: You only one in one day?
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 1: I think she still follows you on Instagram.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Every time we see her, like perfume Ad, I'm like, hey, bebe.
Speaker 2: You want to be with you? Remember that could have
Speaker 2: been you. It didn't bother you that she was an actress.
Speaker 3: No, And when it when it comes to you, like
Speaker 3: there's a question here about dating you and you was
Speaker 3: it difficult dating you because you were an actress? I
Speaker 3: don't see people as their jobs or their titles. I
Speaker 3: never have and never will. Does it. Did it make
Speaker 3: a difference to me that you were an actress or
Speaker 3: a singer or a heart surgeon or No? Absolutely not,
Speaker 3: and it doesn't. I've never been one for Okay, this
Speaker 3: person's got a title this. But I'm just like, I
Speaker 3: try and if you're a good person, then I try
Speaker 3: and get on with you. I never seen you as
Speaker 3: I've never been like, I'm dating an actress. M that's
Speaker 3: not who I am.
Speaker 2: So you wouldn't have cared if I was. I don't
Speaker 2: know what if I when you saw me on my
Speaker 2: on the page right, that's how I share.
Speaker 3: You will not actous because I don't need to deal
Speaker 3: with a incussing scenes.
Speaker 1: That's not true.
Speaker 3: No, I want you to be an anxious because you
Speaker 3: love doing that. Yeah. Yeah, don't get me.
Speaker 1: Don't mistake yeah, because that'll be a headline.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I do think it is is difficult, though, to date
Speaker 2: people that they just don't understand, just like I wouldn't
Speaker 2: understand like she said, I wouldn't understand what for example,
Speaker 2: professional athlete, you know you're coaching if you were to
Speaker 2: do well you were yeah, you know, And so I
Speaker 2: don't I didn't know much about soccer, I didn't know
Speaker 2: much of the coaching life being ten months away, Like
Speaker 2: there are things that I sure because if they're not
Speaker 2: used to that lifestyle, it's it's hard for people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's also there's the unknown, Like don't
Speaker 3: I don't really know what it's like on a set
Speaker 3: with you and other people. So when I first started
Speaker 3: dating you, I was like, what does that look like?
Speaker 3: What you like on set? What are the other people like?
Speaker 3: How does it function? How does it flow? And then
Speaker 3: the more that I got to be on set and
Speaker 3: be around people who like the more maybe you'll agree
Speaker 3: and maybe you want, but the more comfortable I am
Speaker 3: with you being on set now because the fear of
Speaker 3: the unknown is kind of diminished because I know roughly
Speaker 3: what it looks like on set. I know how you
Speaker 3: acquit yourself on set and how professional and how respectful
Speaker 3: you are to us, So the fear of the unknown
Speaker 3: hasn't really there anymore. Do I love you being on
Speaker 3: set with guys? And of course I don't a human being,
Speaker 3: I've got feelings and fears, and but.
Speaker 2: You see now kind of the you've done what a
Speaker 2: couple you know? Five plus movies now with me, so
Speaker 2: you can see that it's the same recipe in the
Speaker 2: same wheel, and it's you.
Speaker 3: Know, it's the process is pretty much the same.
Speaker 1: What it is every time each one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, do I get? Do I get? You know
Speaker 3: what I'm like the like I don't get jealous, But
Speaker 3: also I also need to lock eyes on the person
Speaker 3: that you're as your co star in the movie and
Speaker 3: be like, I need to figure this person out, and
Speaker 3: then once I figure them out, I'm more comfortable.
Speaker 2: Would you get Yeah, I think I think you want
Speaker 2: to have that handshake with the dude, do Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think there's only been one you haven't liked.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's not that I didn't like him. I
Speaker 3: just knew what he could have been in the background.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Anyway, not that I dislike him, because I think he's
Speaker 3: actually good at what he does and he was excellent
Speaker 3: in the movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But I think that goes to anything like you want
Speaker 2: to feel comfortable around your Like I would want to
Speaker 2: feel comfortable with who you're working with, And I think
Speaker 2: that's typical for a spouse to want to meet the person.
Speaker 2: And that's why I've been so like every time I'm like, hey,
Speaker 2: my mission always at first it's like for you to
Speaker 2: meet the person so you can see and have that
Speaker 2: connection and comfortability with them, and that's important to me,
Speaker 2: so that you're comfortable too.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I won with old guys so.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: I mean you did coach for a women's team there
Speaker 2: for the first year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you know.
Speaker 2: But I again, it's about who you're with, right, So
Speaker 2: like in past lives with relationships, I would not have
Speaker 2: trusted that person to work on an all girls team
Speaker 2: with you. I'm like, have fun in Kansas, you know,
Speaker 2: like there's no I trusted you with being around a
Speaker 2: team of girls. Yeah, every week for how long?
Speaker 1: Nine months? Ten months?
Speaker 3: It's a couple of days a week. No, it wasn't
Speaker 3: that long. Was five months?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Well even so like a week for five months.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was so comfortable because I trust you, and
Speaker 2: I think at the end of the day you can
Speaker 2: see the difference, like I was.
Speaker 1: It's a great example.
Speaker 2: I was showing him a instagram of someone that I've
Speaker 2: been in a movie with, and I said, this is
Speaker 2: how I used to.
Speaker 1: Be with my co stars.
Speaker 3: Say that again.
Speaker 2: I showed you a video of somebody on Instagram of
Speaker 2: them like this is how I was like, babe, this
Speaker 2: is how I used to be on socials and you know,
Speaker 2: because I just was like, ah, like just we are
Speaker 2: just more free. But it does come off as quite
Speaker 2: inappropriate if you're in a relationship, but I never saw
Speaker 2: it that way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, listen. Also depends in the situation.
Speaker 2: I would like to instagram that's but I don't want
Speaker 2: to make you uncomfortable. Like so there's times when I
Speaker 2: would have maybe wanted to more, but I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't want to make him uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: What depends what you're doing in the Instagram video, Like
Speaker 3: that particular video you showed me the guys like hugging
Speaker 3: this woman. I'm like, i'd have been like I being
Speaker 3: straight on the phone. You know, Okay you then is
Speaker 3: it April Fool's Day? Get that down right now? I
Speaker 3: can get back. Yeah, I just spoke to the director.
Speaker 3: You've got three days off, even even even stuff like
Speaker 3: you're good with so when you're prepping for the movie,
Speaker 3: and also you have to speak to the directors, you
Speaker 3: have to touch base with possibly other actors, and you're
Speaker 3: good with me, Like, listen, this person, this text me,
Speaker 3: this person wants my number? Are you okay with it? So?
Speaker 3: I think the respect around it is. Is it a
Speaker 3: really high level?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I always am like because I want you
Speaker 1: to feel you know.
Speaker 3: And you also don't want an angry Scott's and coming
Speaker 3: on to sit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, stop it.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't, okay, wouldn't.
Speaker 2: Topic number two introducing kids to new partners, So lake
Speaker 2: Bell reveals parameters for introducing kids to new partners. She
Speaker 2: is open about co parenting her two kids to ex
Speaker 2: husband Scott Campbell, and that includes how the two navigate
Speaker 2: dating as single parents.
Speaker 1: So she has.
Speaker 2: Basically said that usually if she's hanging around someone for
Speaker 2: five or six months and they've shown that they care
Speaker 2: about meeting them, like okay, sometimes it happens a little
Speaker 2: sooner because if the people have kids, then you know,
Speaker 2: if the kids don't get along, that's kind of disastrous.
Speaker 1: When you got did anyone? Oh yeah?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: I answered my own question in my brain? That did
Speaker 1: not end well.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, did you introduce someone post divorce?
Speaker 2: How was there a timeline for you in your brain?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 3: Was there a timeline in my brain?
Speaker 1: And this is not about me?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, it's nothing to you, was there a
Speaker 3: timeline in my brain? I was. I was fueled by
Speaker 3: I was probably fueled by anger at that point in
Speaker 3: my life, where.
Speaker 1: I think that's true for a lot of co parenting situations.
Speaker 3: I was fueled by anger and resentment. And if I
Speaker 3: was to do it again, I would have done it.
Speaker 3: I would have done that differently, absolutely, and I would
Speaker 3: have I would have waited longer, and I would have
Speaker 3: put Troy's feelings in it first. So yeah, I have
Speaker 3: a regret around that. Absolutely I would have I would
Speaker 3: have waited and had more composure around it rather than
Speaker 3: fuel emotions around it, and like I had to do
Speaker 3: somewhat something to get one over someone else. Yeah, not
Speaker 3: handled it wrong? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Where does that sit with you?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 3: It's it sets fine. I've had the discussion with Roy
Speaker 3: on it, like a few years back, and and I've
Speaker 3: apologized how or how I did that and given reasons
Speaker 3: felt why I did it and there were wrong reasons.
Speaker 3: So yeah, what.
Speaker 2: Do you think is the best like tip then for
Speaker 2: people that are coming out of a divorce when it
Speaker 2: involves kids and having new relationships, Because I do I've
Speaker 2: always agreed, like when we've spoken about it, there is
Speaker 2: a piece where you are allowed to have your happiness
Speaker 2: and your Obviously it wasn't to end up with but
Speaker 2: I think there's like this push and pull between you,
Speaker 2: you wanting a new start, and but also it's hard
Speaker 2: when maybe they don't, when they don't mesh with the kids,
Speaker 2: that's that's tough.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think the biggest thing for me
Speaker 3: is the kids will tell you yeah, the kids will
Speaker 3: let you know you like you don't have to continually
Speaker 3: ask them and should never feel pressured by the other
Speaker 3: person saying well, what's the problem when we're going to
Speaker 3: meet the kids, Like it should always be about okay,
Speaker 3: this is and I think it should almost be the
Speaker 3: kids should depend on these The kids should come to
Speaker 3: you and say, look that I'm ready to meet this
Speaker 3: person who's in your life. And I think that's probably
Speaker 3: the best way to do it, because anything else is
Speaker 3: is your agenda being pushed on the children, which is yeah,
Speaker 3: I have regrets around that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well we and I've always kind of had like
Speaker 2: a it's so hard to put a time limit on
Speaker 2: on it, right, like obviously the short like the very beginning,
Speaker 2: the first few months.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's appropriate.
Speaker 2: But if things are progressing, especially if they have kids,
Speaker 2: you know, I think you have to feel it out.
Speaker 2: There have been obviously I wish I didn't introduce the
Speaker 2: kids to you know, post, but that was I Again,
Speaker 2: I think when you're in that place of hurt and
Speaker 2: you're wanting to move on, it's messy. It gets a
Speaker 2: little messy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course it does.
Speaker 1: And even though I.
Speaker 2: Tried going about it the right way, it's still they
Speaker 2: go back and be like, oh, that's a bummer. Now
Speaker 2: luckily learn from that made better choices post. And you know,
Speaker 2: trying to get the co parent to agree on proper
Speaker 2: timing is also really hard, and.
Speaker 3: I think how you do it is also important. There's
Speaker 3: the timing of it, and then that's how Then that's
Speaker 3: how you do it and where you do it, and
Speaker 3: the environment and what you do it and so that
Speaker 3: the kids feel safe that they can leave that environment.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, and I think with this situation too, like
Speaker 2: even when I was flying over to to didn't to
Speaker 2: come see you. You were very much like, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm spending time with Troy, and I need you know,
Speaker 2: I'll see you this is when you leave. Because it
Speaker 2: was we had to because because you learned the lesson,
Speaker 2: I guess on the last one. But he found out yea,
Speaker 2: which is funny, Like he was the one that actually
Speaker 2: found out before you even told him.
Speaker 3: He actually he actually told me this story of how
Speaker 3: he found out. I'm mortified of him reading a Little
Speaker 3: Brown Mortified to this day, Like every time he tries
Speaker 3: to bring him up, I'm like, no, left in my room.
Speaker 1: I die so mortifying.
Speaker 2: Like I was like, no, no, no, we're not talking about it.
Speaker 2: Like I wrote a diary because we spent so much
Speaker 2: time apart that I thought it would be sweet when
Speaker 2: we didn't talk, because there's because of the time difference.
Speaker 2: I wrote essentially a journal of things that I was feeling.
Speaker 2: And oh my god, this is so she's a caam.
Speaker 2: I'm saying this well, and and I sent it to
Speaker 2: you and and then it was basically one of the
Speaker 2: things where then you can write and then send it back.
Speaker 1: I never got it back.
Speaker 3: It's fine, But did I even know it was there?
Speaker 3: Troy probably found it before. What do you mean, did
Speaker 3: John know thing?
Speaker 1: I sent it to you? You opened it?
Speaker 3: Oh, the one in a little Brown book? Yeah, a
Speaker 3: nice lettle book that is still cherish in the drawer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the whole point was like to send it, to
Speaker 2: write it back and forth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get that memo.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know you never sent it back. It's fine,
Speaker 2: it's all good. But in there I put my Christmas
Speaker 2: card of me and the kids. Okay, and that's when
Speaker 2: he saw it. Okay kids, Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Told me that. That wasn't that long ago that you
Speaker 3: told me that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was in a hole. I was like,
Speaker 1: please don't tell me.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure read every page.
Speaker 1: Let's hope.
Speaker 3: Now, how did you feel introducing me to Mike, to
Speaker 3: Mike the kids or the kids and the kids? Like,
Speaker 3: how did you approach it with Mike when you knew
Speaker 3: you were going to introduce me to the kids?
Speaker 2: We he was dating a girl around the same time
Speaker 2: that we It was the same almost the same time
Speaker 2: period where he was well, I'll say this, there was
Speaker 2: a time or no, that was that after the next
Speaker 2: time that didn't go well, Well.
Speaker 3: Did you even think about it to who?
Speaker 2: Like, oh, I'm very thought out now, I was after
Speaker 2: the last time. I just like, I cannot mess this
Speaker 2: up again, Like this has to be it.
Speaker 3: Okay, So that's good information for people so based on
Speaker 3: the fact that you messed one up and would have
Speaker 3: done it differently, and I admit to the same, Yeah,
Speaker 3: they've done it ferently. What did you? What did you do?
Speaker 3: Definitely when I come onto the scene.
Speaker 1: I knew that you were the one I was going
Speaker 1: to marry like that.
Speaker 2: It was that potential where I wanted to then obviously
Speaker 2: see how you mesh with my kids. It was to
Speaker 2: that point, but just the other person that I knew
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to and there were things that was
Speaker 2: my mistake because I was wanting this made up story
Speaker 2: in my brain of what that was. So with this situation,
Speaker 2: I remember we were at I was going to because
Speaker 2: we had been talking since October. So so October remember,
Speaker 2: so it's been like it was like three months and
Speaker 2: he was seeing a girlfriend. And I remember I was
Speaker 2: going to Anguilla with Sarah Bryce and we were in
Speaker 2: the airport at a Hudson News or whatever, and I
Speaker 2: said hey, or I was just like talking to Mike
Speaker 2: about something and he goes, hey, I want to talk
Speaker 2: to you, and I knew it.
Speaker 1: I knew exactly what go say.
Speaker 2: I was like, I kind of do too, but I'll
Speaker 2: let you go first, and he's like, you know, you know,
Speaker 2: I've been talking to this person and you know, I
Speaker 2: it's it's I know it's only been these many months,
Speaker 2: but I would like to kind of introduce.
Speaker 1: And I said, totally cool, totally get it.
Speaker 2: I have also been thinking, are you cool, because you
Speaker 2: know he's going to maybe be coming at the end
Speaker 2: of you know, end of the month and in January
Speaker 2: or whatever, so just be nice to you know, have
Speaker 2: the meet because I think he's going to be moving
Speaker 2: here the next couple of months.
Speaker 3: I remember, sorry, I remember when I was coming over
Speaker 3: and I was going to meet the kids. I remember
Speaker 3: you saying to me, you're a little bit anxious, not
Speaker 3: maybe not anxious, but I love that skeptical because we'd
Speaker 3: been used to that point and you met you'd met
Speaker 3: Troy at this point, but we'd been used to our time,
Speaker 3: always been of our time, and you are a little
Speaker 3: bit anxious around me coming over, and then the time
Speaker 3: is split between Okay, there's going to be the kids
Speaker 3: are going to be around, and we're not going to
Speaker 3: have as much as much one to one time as
Speaker 3: what we normally would have had. And I always trac
Speaker 3: to pease, be like I understand the whole situation. Mm hmm,
Speaker 3: Like I really know what to expect when I get there,
Speaker 3: and I know how important your kids are to you,
Speaker 3: so therefore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's the thing. It's like, even now to
Speaker 2: this day where it's when Roman goes down, I'm like,
Speaker 2: all right, kids, family game time, you know, and it's
Speaker 2: like I am just laser focused on spending that time
Speaker 2: with the kids, and it's like, what if, what if
Speaker 2: this isn't the life that he does want? Like because
Speaker 2: because I do come with two young ones, like you
Speaker 2: you know, Troy is older, you know, and he's.
Speaker 3: I was fifteen at the time, Jason still.
Speaker 1: Tull up, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Mike is this and I think there's a
Speaker 2: piece of that where you can say I'm to me
Speaker 2: as many times, but until you're in the situation, is
Speaker 2: he going to accept it's not just me, it's all
Speaker 2: of us. And for a while it's just been me
Speaker 2: and like cool, he accepts me and who I am,
Speaker 2: but I'm not that I'm different around my kids, but
Speaker 2: I am. I'm a mom and this is this is
Speaker 2: actually like you've seen the the highlight reel when I
Speaker 2: was in England, right because I had time to put
Speaker 2: on makeup and I was I got to sleep and
Speaker 2: I didn't have really responsibilities there. So when I was
Speaker 2: in you know, when you come to home, it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: this is this is a different Jamma than he's experienced,
Speaker 2: and will he accept me and the two babes and
Speaker 2: it went swimmingly. You were It was a it was
Speaker 2: a very short meeting and I said, you know, this
Speaker 2: is Alan and he lives over in England and trying
Speaker 2: to explain that to them was so cute and so
Speaker 2: but it went great and it was it was so good.
Speaker 3: I think it's easier though, like to be to be
Speaker 3: fair on you, it's easier for me to meet younger
Speaker 3: kids than it was for you to meet boy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's not that it was hard to meet you, no,
Speaker 2: no, no no.
Speaker 1: But love him.
Speaker 3: Yeah. He's a teenager and he's got his own views,
Speaker 3: his own opinions, and he's got his own mom who
Speaker 3: he's been around for fifteen So it was more difficult
Speaker 3: for you. Well, I would assume it was more difficult
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 1: Here's the problem.
Speaker 2: I came from a I came from a divorced background, right,
Speaker 2: and so when my dad started, It's like I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not looking for another mom. And again my kids
Speaker 2: have their dad too, but you again see them more
Speaker 2: than their dad. So you have such a big responsibility
Speaker 2: and also love and all of it to be this
Speaker 2: father figure in their life too. And for me it's
Speaker 2: it was harder because I don't. I don't get to
Speaker 2: see him as much as I would like to write.
Speaker 2: And I just always just want to be at least,
Speaker 2: you know, a friend and someone that was always there,
Speaker 2: you know. But it is harder I think coming in older,
Speaker 2: you know, with older, but as long as I remain
Speaker 2: you know who I want to be for him again,
Speaker 2: he's got an amazing mom. He's got you like I don't.
Speaker 2: I just am here as a friend and support.
Speaker 3: I think nothing you do it well. I think he
Speaker 3: knows he can have a laugh with you and listen.
Speaker 1: I am the one where he can, you know, take
Speaker 1: jokes at.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, like tell you a little
Speaker 3: yet won't tell me.
Speaker 2: That's because I'm the cool friend, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: like and the cool step you know step mom you know, right,
Speaker 2: But like in that I always think of like, yes
Speaker 2: I am a step mom, but I look at it
Speaker 2: as like not the mom, but as a friend because
Speaker 2: he's got, like I said, a great mom. So anyways,
Speaker 2: good chat, follow your heart with it. You don't want
Speaker 2: to evolving door, right, have people coming in and out.
Speaker 2: I think it's important for kids to see their parents,
Speaker 2: you know, maybe you know have relationships, but it doesn't
Speaker 2: have to just be you know, with a romantic person.
Speaker 3: It goes back to kids wants stability and safety. So
Speaker 3: if you're constantly introducing different people, then doesn't it gives
Speaker 3: a bad image of all that kids?
Speaker 2: Right, So I would just for the people you know
Speaker 2: going through that now, just to keep that in mind
Speaker 2: and you know you're doing the best you can.
Speaker 1: We all make mistakes, clearly we have to.
Speaker 2: So anyways, on that note, see you next week.