WEBVTT - Adult Education: Push and Pull

0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359
<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast.

0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Interesting topic, David Harber says he's tried dating normal people

0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:13.039
<v Speaker 2>in his early twenties, but they don't get his life

0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:17.279
<v Speaker 2>as an actor. So David Harber was talking about his

0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:21.680
<v Speaker 2>dating history during a conversation with Scarlett Johansson, who also

0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:25.160
<v Speaker 2>said that she tried dating someone more normal.

0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:28.000
<v Speaker 1>What she says she said?

0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:32.760
<v Speaker 2>She said dating men outside of Hollywood cause jealousy since

0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:37.160
<v Speaker 2>actors get very intimate. So she said, I've had serious

0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:39.080
<v Speaker 2>relationship with people that were not in the industry, and

0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:41.240
<v Speaker 2>I found one of the challenges was that the person

0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:45.640
<v Speaker 2>had no idea of what I needed to do my job. Obviously,

0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:47.720
<v Speaker 2>if I was dating an oncologist, I wouldn't know what

0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:50.159
<v Speaker 2>they needed to do for their job. But it's not

0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:55.000
<v Speaker 2>so abstract. Also went on to say, I think it's

0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:57.000
<v Speaker 2>easy to create a lot of jealousy when a person

0:00:57.080 --> 0:00:59.200
<v Speaker 2>is not involved in the industry because actors by nature

0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:02.400
<v Speaker 2>are very free speed and they create very intimate relationships

0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:04.959
<v Speaker 2>with people at work. They can be loyal to a

0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.319
<v Speaker 2>partner and also very engaged in all these other kind

0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:10.160
<v Speaker 2>of relationships. I think that can blur lines for some people.

0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:11.360
<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:15.960
<v Speaker 2>I love one of the questions in this because it

0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:22.800
<v Speaker 2>was alan, is Janna the first actress you've dated? It's

0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:23.920
<v Speaker 2>like the first question I popped.

0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:24.760
<v Speaker 1>I was like, Oh, it's not.

0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:25.240
<v Speaker 4>It's not.

0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:28.399
<v Speaker 1>It's not Tell Tell not Talen.

0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:29.160
<v Speaker 3>But no, it's not.

0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:32.320
<v Speaker 1>I guess.

0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:35.679
<v Speaker 2>I mean, would we say that that one was an

0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:36.800
<v Speaker 2>actual relationship though?

0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:39.600
<v Speaker 1>No, that was just like a fun little hook up.

0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:47.080
<v Speaker 3>Okay, pass, Yeah, I mean it was absolutely not relationship.

0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:52.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah that was Yeah, it's not even more discussing, but yeah, no,

0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:54.120
<v Speaker 3>you're not the first actress that dated. But I don't

0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:57.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't see people as like see this quote here,

0:01:57.360 --> 0:02:03.600
<v Speaker 3>of dating normal people. Yeah, like the fine define normal.

0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:10.280
<v Speaker 1>An oncologist not a normal job, a teacher.

0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:12.320
<v Speaker 3>Because they're not in the lime light makes them normal.

0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:19.080
<v Speaker 3>And I think it's I think it's I see your point.

0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:22.120
<v Speaker 3>It's kind of the crying of their profession and the

0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:28.480
<v Speaker 3>and demeaning of their not demeaning, but it's almost like, oh,

0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.639
<v Speaker 3>it's only an ecologist, and an oncologist is an important

0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:35.600
<v Speaker 3>job very and not by no means a normal person.

0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:41.280
<v Speaker 3>So I think the definition of what normal is is

0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:44.320
<v Speaker 3>it's different just because someone is an actress and they're

0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.960
<v Speaker 3>in the limelight, or an actor they're in the limelight.

0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:51.560
<v Speaker 3>It doesn't I don't think they can quote other people

0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:52.120
<v Speaker 3>as normal.

0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:59.200
<v Speaker 2>I I am, I agree with. I totally hear what

0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:02.120
<v Speaker 2>you're saying. Yeah, Like, I definitely hear what you're saying.

0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Having said that, I do think there's a bit of

0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:10.320
<v Speaker 2>abnormality with our jobs. Like an oncologist is not kissing

0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:15.639
<v Speaker 2>random co workers, I hope not. Let's just let's just

0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:16.200
<v Speaker 2>start with that.

0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:16.839
<v Speaker 4>I hope.

0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I hope they aren't, do you know what I mean?

0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:24.160
<v Speaker 2>A doctor isn't having a with people at walk I

0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.680
<v Speaker 2>hope not. Again, let's just go to straight up, I

0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.520
<v Speaker 2>hope not. So that's where I think it doesn't make

0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:31.760
<v Speaker 2>it a normal quote unquote job.

0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:33.040
<v Speaker 1>I totally hear what you're saying that.

0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:34.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I just don't like the phrase normal.

0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:38.760
<v Speaker 2>Sure, I it is a it is a I mean,

0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.640
<v Speaker 2>I guess what would be the work because I totally

0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:42.520
<v Speaker 2>hear what you're saying, and I wish there was a

0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:45.520
<v Speaker 2>better word too, Yeah, because I totally get it, Like

0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:47.800
<v Speaker 2>just oh, just because you're a teacher, that makes you normal,

0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.840
<v Speaker 2>Like no, no, you have a very important job of

0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:55.200
<v Speaker 2>teaching kids. And you have like that's that's not and

0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:56.880
<v Speaker 2>to me, like that would be a really hard job.

0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:00.280
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't imagine the patients that teachers have, so that's

0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:03.800
<v Speaker 2>that would be a really hard job. I would say,

0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:07.040
<v Speaker 2>we're warning but hard. But again with acting, it is so.

0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:08.920
<v Speaker 1>It's not.

0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.920
<v Speaker 2>The things that we have to do are not typical

0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:18.440
<v Speaker 2>to what other professions would do, hopefully during during their

0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.960
<v Speaker 2>work hours. It shouldn't be what they're doing.

0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:24.880
<v Speaker 3>I think there's a part of my profession where people

0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.160
<v Speaker 3>have a judgment and people have an opinion because I

0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.880
<v Speaker 3>train higher level players and stuff like that. Granted I'm

0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:32.880
<v Speaker 3>not guessing.

0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:36.000
<v Speaker 1>My clients again, I hope not.

0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:42.000
<v Speaker 3>So that dynamic is different. Sure, absolutely. Did you find

0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:44.600
<v Speaker 3>that hard to date normals normals?

0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:49.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think it's difficult at times for sure, because

0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:52.839
<v Speaker 2>they don't understand like you really you know, we've had

0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:56.359
<v Speaker 2>this conversation so many times on here about intimate scenes,

0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean to you know, to the we don't even

0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:00.240
<v Speaker 2>need to discuss it again, like we know we're you

0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:04.719
<v Speaker 2>stand on it. So you know, it is a lot

0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:10.160
<v Speaker 2>easier to date an actor who understands that piece of it,

0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.039
<v Speaker 2>you know, because we are so and that's I think

0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.200
<v Speaker 2>even when you came to visit me on this last set,

0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:20.560
<v Speaker 2>we are around the opposite sex in a different in

0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:24.160
<v Speaker 2>a more intimate way in scenes and then hanging out

0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:26.760
<v Speaker 2>with them when the cameras are. But also you see

0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:31.039
<v Speaker 2>the it's not in a a lot of times like

0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:33.560
<v Speaker 2>word she says, She's like, the lines can be blurred. Absolutely,

0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.520
<v Speaker 2>they can for sure get blurred. But there's also a

0:05:37.560 --> 0:05:43.239
<v Speaker 2>piece where when you are in a respectful marriage and.

0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:44.719
<v Speaker 3>You can see the red stump to fell off in

0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.680
<v Speaker 3>my eyes. Here, why as the devil takes over me?

0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:53.360
<v Speaker 2>No, like you know, different situation. You know with this

0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.560
<v Speaker 2>obviously I'm not single onset you.

0:05:55.520 --> 0:05:57.200
<v Speaker 3>Can get blood. How can the lanes get blowed?

0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.240
<v Speaker 2>Well, because you're around the person so much so if

0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:03.039
<v Speaker 2>you're single and you're with this person all day long.

0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:03.920
<v Speaker 1>But as i your.

0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:06.039
<v Speaker 3>Shingle does nothing to blur your single you can do

0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:09.279
<v Speaker 3>the hell you want anyway. So where's the blood lines?

0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:12.239
<v Speaker 2>The blurred lines are You're it's you're at summer camp

0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:16.600
<v Speaker 2>and you're blurring professionalism. Just like in any job, really

0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:20.080
<v Speaker 2>you can blur lines. But I think with this situation,

0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:23.440
<v Speaker 2>it's you know, you're around the people. But you see,

0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:25.400
<v Speaker 2>when you're around the people a lot too, you can

0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:27.960
<v Speaker 2>get annoyed to them as well. I'm like, you know,

0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:30.600
<v Speaker 2>and where I'm now, it's a I just like to

0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:34.400
<v Speaker 2>kind of be alone because I show up, I do

0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:35.440
<v Speaker 2>my work, I want to go home.

0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.880
<v Speaker 3>You can like someone at first and like the company

0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:41.200
<v Speaker 3>being around, and then day three or four like pain

0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.360
<v Speaker 3>in the ass, can't be asked, get me away from

0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.760
<v Speaker 3>this person. Yeah, because you spent so much time with them.

0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:47.480
<v Speaker 3>I understand that.

0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:48.000
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm.

0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.599
<v Speaker 2>But I do see where lines can get blurred. But

0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:52.440
<v Speaker 2>I think it is easier. I have a question about

0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:54.880
<v Speaker 2>the person that you how many how long did you

0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:56.800
<v Speaker 2>date that actress?

0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:58.160
<v Speaker 3>And then there's only one day?

0:06:58.400 --> 0:06:59.200
<v Speaker 1>You only one in one day?

0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:00.520
<v Speaker 4>Huh?

0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:02.719
<v Speaker 1>I think she still follows you on Instagram.

0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:03.400
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Every time we see her, like perfume Ad, I'm like, hey, bebe.

0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:10.080
<v Speaker 2>You want to be with you? Remember that could have

0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:16.120
<v Speaker 2>been you. It didn't bother you that she was an actress.

0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:19.400
<v Speaker 3>No, And when it when it comes to you, like

0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:23.440
<v Speaker 3>there's a question here about dating you and you was

0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:26.000
<v Speaker 3>it difficult dating you because you were an actress? I

0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:29.840
<v Speaker 3>don't see people as their jobs or their titles. I

0:07:29.920 --> 0:07:34.480
<v Speaker 3>never have and never will. Does it. Did it make

0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.360
<v Speaker 3>a difference to me that you were an actress or

0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:42.240
<v Speaker 3>a singer or a heart surgeon or No? Absolutely not,

0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:48.320
<v Speaker 3>and it doesn't. I've never been one for Okay, this

0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:50.840
<v Speaker 3>person's got a title this. But I'm just like, I

0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:53.120
<v Speaker 3>try and if you're a good person, then I try

0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.280
<v Speaker 3>and get on with you. I never seen you as

0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:59.320
<v Speaker 3>I've never been like, I'm dating an actress. M that's

0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:00.480
<v Speaker 3>not who I am.

0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:05.080
<v Speaker 2>So you wouldn't have cared if I was. I don't

0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:09.200
<v Speaker 2>know what if I when you saw me on my

0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:11.680
<v Speaker 2>on the page right, that's how I share.

0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:13.520
<v Speaker 3>You will not actous because I don't need to deal

0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:16.360
<v Speaker 3>with a incussing scenes.

0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:17.920
<v Speaker 1>That's not true.

0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:19.680
<v Speaker 3>No, I want you to be an anxious because you

0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:22.200
<v Speaker 3>love doing that. Yeah. Yeah, don't get me.

0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.239
<v Speaker 1>Don't mistake yeah, because that'll be a headline.

0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:35.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:39.319
<v Speaker 2>I do think it is is difficult, though, to date

0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:42.320
<v Speaker 2>people that they just don't understand, just like I wouldn't

0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:45.640
<v Speaker 2>understand like she said, I wouldn't understand what for example,

0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.800
<v Speaker 2>professional athlete, you know you're coaching if you were to

0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:52.800
<v Speaker 2>do well you were yeah, you know, And so I

0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.440
<v Speaker 2>don't I didn't know much about soccer, I didn't know

0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:57.920
<v Speaker 2>much of the coaching life being ten months away, Like

0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:01.080
<v Speaker 2>there are things that I sure because if they're not

0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:05.240
<v Speaker 2>used to that lifestyle, it's it's hard for people.

0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:09.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think there's also there's the unknown, Like don't

0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:12.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't really know what it's like on a set

0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.840
<v Speaker 3>with you and other people. So when I first started

0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:17.600
<v Speaker 3>dating you, I was like, what does that look like?

0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:20.480
<v Speaker 3>What you like on set? What are the other people like?

0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.199
<v Speaker 3>How does it function? How does it flow? And then

0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:25.400
<v Speaker 3>the more that I got to be on set and

0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:30.120
<v Speaker 3>be around people who like the more maybe you'll agree

0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.000
<v Speaker 3>and maybe you want, but the more comfortable I am

0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:35.040
<v Speaker 3>with you being on set now because the fear of

0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:38.840
<v Speaker 3>the unknown is kind of diminished because I know roughly

0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:40.680
<v Speaker 3>what it looks like on set. I know how you

0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:44.800
<v Speaker 3>acquit yourself on set and how professional and how respectful

0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.520
<v Speaker 3>you are to us, So the fear of the unknown

0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:51.040
<v Speaker 3>hasn't really there anymore. Do I love you being on

0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.840
<v Speaker 3>set with guys? And of course I don't a human being,

0:09:54.760 --> 0:09:57.040
<v Speaker 3>I've got feelings and fears, and but.

0:09:57.080 --> 0:10:01.679
<v Speaker 2>You see now kind of the you've done what a

0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:04.000
<v Speaker 2>couple you know? Five plus movies now with me, so

0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:07.840
<v Speaker 2>you can see that it's the same recipe in the

0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:10.240
<v Speaker 2>same wheel, and it's you.

0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:12.840
<v Speaker 3>Know, it's the process is pretty much the same.

0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:13.960
<v Speaker 1>What it is every time each one.

0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:18.440
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Yeah, do I get? Do I get? You know

0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:21.760
<v Speaker 3>what I'm like the like I don't get jealous, But

0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.760
<v Speaker 3>also I also need to lock eyes on the person

0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.560
<v Speaker 3>that you're as your co star in the movie and

0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.040
<v Speaker 3>be like, I need to figure this person out, and

0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.079
<v Speaker 3>then once I figure them out, I'm more comfortable.

0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:35.280
<v Speaker 2>Would you get Yeah, I think I think you want

0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:38.200
<v Speaker 2>to have that handshake with the dude, do Yeah.

0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.400
<v Speaker 1>And I think there's only been one you haven't liked.

0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:43.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And it's not that I didn't like him. I

0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:45.920
<v Speaker 3>just knew what he could have been in the background.

0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:48.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:52.240
<v Speaker 3>Anyway, not that I dislike him, because I think he's

0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.080
<v Speaker 3>actually good at what he does and he was excellent

0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:54.640
<v Speaker 3>in the movie.

0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:57.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:10:58.120 --> 0:10:59.720
<v Speaker 2>But I think that goes to anything like you want

0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.640
<v Speaker 2>to feel comfortable around your Like I would want to

0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:06.160
<v Speaker 2>feel comfortable with who you're working with, And I think

0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:10.680
<v Speaker 2>that's typical for a spouse to want to meet the person.

0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:14.839
<v Speaker 2>And that's why I've been so like every time I'm like, hey,

0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:16.720
<v Speaker 2>my mission always at first it's like for you to

0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:18.959
<v Speaker 2>meet the person so you can see and have that

0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:22.840
<v Speaker 2>connection and comfortability with them, and that's important to me,

0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:24.080
<v Speaker 2>so that you're comfortable too.

0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:24.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:26.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I won with old guys so.

0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:28.840
<v Speaker 1>Well.

0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:31.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean you did coach for a women's team there

0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:32.000
<v Speaker 2>for the first year.

0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so you know.

0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:37.640
<v Speaker 2>But I again, it's about who you're with, right, So

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.480
<v Speaker 2>like in past lives with relationships, I would not have

0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.640
<v Speaker 2>trusted that person to work on an all girls team

0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:46.160
<v Speaker 2>with you. I'm like, have fun in Kansas, you know,

0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:52.160
<v Speaker 2>like there's no I trusted you with being around a

0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:56.439
<v Speaker 2>team of girls. Yeah, every week for how long?

0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:57.520
<v Speaker 1>Nine months? Ten months?

0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.600
<v Speaker 3>It's a couple of days a week. No, it wasn't

0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:02.400
<v Speaker 3>that long. Was five months?

0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:02.760
<v Speaker 1>Okay?

0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.679
<v Speaker 3>Well even so like a week for five months.

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:09.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was so comfortable because I trust you, and

0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.400
<v Speaker 2>I think at the end of the day you can

0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:13.480
<v Speaker 2>see the difference, like I was.

0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:14.360
<v Speaker 1>It's a great example.

0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:18.120
<v Speaker 2>I was showing him a instagram of someone that I've

0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:22.000
<v Speaker 2>been in a movie with, and I said, this is

0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:22.760
<v Speaker 2>how I used to.

0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:24.400
<v Speaker 1>Be with my co stars.

0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:25.959
<v Speaker 3>Say that again.

0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:29.960
<v Speaker 2>I showed you a video of somebody on Instagram of

0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:33.120
<v Speaker 2>them like this is how I was like, babe, this

0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:37.559
<v Speaker 2>is how I used to be on socials and you know,

0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.280
<v Speaker 2>because I just was like, ah, like just we are

0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:45.200
<v Speaker 2>just more free. But it does come off as quite

0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:48.520
<v Speaker 2>inappropriate if you're in a relationship, but I never saw

0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:48.960
<v Speaker 2>it that way.

0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.839
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, listen. Also depends in the situation.

0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:55.719
<v Speaker 2>I would like to instagram that's but I don't want

0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.400
<v Speaker 2>to make you uncomfortable. Like so there's times when I

0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.040
<v Speaker 2>would have maybe wanted to more, but I'm like, oh,

0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:02.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to make him uncomfortable.

0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:05.800
<v Speaker 3>What depends what you're doing in the Instagram video, Like

0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:09.040
<v Speaker 3>that particular video you showed me the guys like hugging

0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:12.520
<v Speaker 3>this woman. I'm like, i'd have been like I being

0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:17.000
<v Speaker 3>straight on the phone. You know, Okay you then is

0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:21.160
<v Speaker 3>it April Fool's Day? Get that down right now? I

0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:27.000
<v Speaker 3>can get back. Yeah, I just spoke to the director.

0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:33.000
<v Speaker 3>You've got three days off, even even even stuff like

0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.480
<v Speaker 3>you're good with so when you're prepping for the movie,

0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.199
<v Speaker 3>and also you have to speak to the directors, you

0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.240
<v Speaker 3>have to touch base with possibly other actors, and you're

0:13:41.280 --> 0:13:44.480
<v Speaker 3>good with me, Like, listen, this person, this text me,

0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:46.800
<v Speaker 3>this person wants my number? Are you okay with it? So?

0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 3>I think the respect around it is. Is it a

0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:51.320
<v Speaker 3>really high level?

0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:55.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, I always am like because I want you

0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:57.920
<v Speaker 1>to feel you know.

0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:00.400
<v Speaker 3>And you also don't want an angry Scott's and coming

0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:00.839
<v Speaker 3>on to sit.

0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:02.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, stop it.

0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.360
<v Speaker 3>You wouldn't, okay, wouldn't.

0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:08.280
<v Speaker 2>Topic number two introducing kids to new partners, So lake

0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:12.840
<v Speaker 2>Bell reveals parameters for introducing kids to new partners. She

0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.240
<v Speaker 2>is open about co parenting her two kids to ex

0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:19.600
<v Speaker 2>husband Scott Campbell, and that includes how the two navigate

0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:21.040
<v Speaker 2>dating as single parents.

0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:23.880
<v Speaker 1>So she has.

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Basically said that usually if she's hanging around someone for

0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:29.240
<v Speaker 2>five or six months and they've shown that they care

0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.640
<v Speaker 2>about meeting them, like okay, sometimes it happens a little

0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:35.160
<v Speaker 2>sooner because if the people have kids, then you know,

0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.840
<v Speaker 2>if the kids don't get along, that's kind of disastrous.

0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:45.880
<v Speaker 1>When you got did anyone? Oh yeah?

0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:44.560
<v Speaker 3>Uh?

0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:49.160
<v Speaker 1>I answered my own question in my brain? That did

0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:50.760
<v Speaker 1>not end well.

0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.720
<v Speaker 2>I was gonna say, did you introduce someone post divorce?

0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 2>How was there a timeline for you in your brain?

0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:02.680
<v Speaker 1>Sorry?

0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:04.360
<v Speaker 3>Was there a timeline in my brain?

0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:08.120
<v Speaker 1>And this is not about me?

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.000
<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, it's nothing to you, was there a

0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:15.480
<v Speaker 3>timeline in my brain? I was. I was fueled by

0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.840
<v Speaker 3>I was probably fueled by anger at that point in

0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.040
<v Speaker 3>my life, where.

0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I think that's true for a lot of co parenting situations.

0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:29.160
<v Speaker 3>I was fueled by anger and resentment. And if I

0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:30.840
<v Speaker 3>was to do it again, I would have done it.

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.760
<v Speaker 3>I would have done that differently, absolutely, and I would

0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.480
<v Speaker 3>have I would have waited longer, and I would have

0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:41.760
<v Speaker 3>put Troy's feelings in it first. So yeah, I have

0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.640
<v Speaker 3>a regret around that. Absolutely I would have I would

0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:50.360
<v Speaker 3>have waited and had more composure around it rather than

0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:54.320
<v Speaker 3>fuel emotions around it, and like I had to do

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:58.400
<v Speaker 3>somewhat something to get one over someone else. Yeah, not

0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.680
<v Speaker 3>handled it wrong? Absolutely?

0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:03.520
<v Speaker 1>Where does that sit with you?

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:03.800
<v Speaker 4>Now?

0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.240
<v Speaker 3>It's it sets fine. I've had the discussion with Roy

0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 3>on it, like a few years back, and and I've

0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:18.080
<v Speaker 3>apologized how or how I did that and given reasons

0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.360
<v Speaker 3>felt why I did it and there were wrong reasons.

0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:22.000
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, what.

0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Do you think is the best like tip then for

0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:30.600
<v Speaker 2>people that are coming out of a divorce when it

0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:34.280
<v Speaker 2>involves kids and having new relationships, Because I do I've

0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:37.320
<v Speaker 2>always agreed, like when we've spoken about it, there is

0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.120
<v Speaker 2>a piece where you are allowed to have your happiness

0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:44.000
<v Speaker 2>and your Obviously it wasn't to end up with but

0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:47.480
<v Speaker 2>I think there's like this push and pull between you,

0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:52.720
<v Speaker 2>you wanting a new start, and but also it's hard

0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:56.720
<v Speaker 2>when maybe they don't, when they don't mesh with the kids,

0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:58.960
<v Speaker 2>that's that's tough.

0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:01.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think I think the biggest thing for me

0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:05.320
<v Speaker 3>is the kids will tell you yeah, the kids will

0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.200
<v Speaker 3>let you know you like you don't have to continually

0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:11.320
<v Speaker 3>ask them and should never feel pressured by the other

0:17:11.400 --> 0:17:14.359
<v Speaker 3>person saying well, what's the problem when we're going to

0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:17.040
<v Speaker 3>meet the kids, Like it should always be about okay,

0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:22.200
<v Speaker 3>this is and I think it should almost be the

0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:24.159
<v Speaker 3>kids should depend on these The kids should come to

0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 3>you and say, look that I'm ready to meet this

0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:30.000
<v Speaker 3>person who's in your life. And I think that's probably

0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.320
<v Speaker 3>the best way to do it, because anything else is

0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:36.160
<v Speaker 3>is your agenda being pushed on the children, which is yeah,

0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:37.320
<v Speaker 3>I have regrets around that.

0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:42.199
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well we and I've always kind of had like

0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:46.160
<v Speaker 2>a it's so hard to put a time limit on

0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:51.159
<v Speaker 2>on it, right, like obviously the short like the very beginning,

0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:52.040
<v Speaker 2>the first few months.

0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:53.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it's appropriate.

0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:57.880
<v Speaker 2>But if things are progressing, especially if they have kids,

0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:01.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, I think you have to feel it out.

0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:07.639
<v Speaker 2>There have been obviously I wish I didn't introduce the

0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:11.640
<v Speaker 2>kids to you know, post, but that was I Again,

0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:14.320
<v Speaker 2>I think when you're in that place of hurt and

0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:19.240
<v Speaker 2>you're wanting to move on, it's messy. It gets a

0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:19.879
<v Speaker 2>little messy.

0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:21.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, of course it does.

0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:22.840
<v Speaker 1>And even though I.

0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Tried going about it the right way, it's still they

0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:28.200
<v Speaker 2>go back and be like, oh, that's a bummer. Now

0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:34.080
<v Speaker 2>luckily learn from that made better choices post. And you know,

0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:37.680
<v Speaker 2>trying to get the co parent to agree on proper

0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:42.040
<v Speaker 2>timing is also really hard, and.

0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:43.720
<v Speaker 3>I think how you do it is also important. There's

0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:46.320
<v Speaker 3>the timing of it, and then that's how Then that's

0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:49.439
<v Speaker 3>how you do it and where you do it, and

0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:51.080
<v Speaker 3>the environment and what you do it and so that

0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:53.720
<v Speaker 3>the kids feel safe that they can leave that environment.

0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:56.760
<v Speaker 2>Well yeah, and I think with this situation too, like

0:18:57.320 --> 0:19:00.399
<v Speaker 2>even when I was flying over to to didn't to

0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:03.879
<v Speaker 2>come see you. You were very much like, you know,

0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:07.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm spending time with Troy, and I need you know,

0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:09.919
<v Speaker 2>I'll see you this is when you leave. Because it

0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:12.680
<v Speaker 2>was we had to because because you learned the lesson,

0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:16.760
<v Speaker 2>I guess on the last one. But he found out yea,

0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:19.439
<v Speaker 2>which is funny, Like he was the one that actually

0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.320
<v Speaker 2>found out before you even told him.

0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:24.240
<v Speaker 3>He actually he actually told me this story of how

0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:27.879
<v Speaker 3>he found out. I'm mortified of him reading a Little

0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:32.040
<v Speaker 3>Brown Mortified to this day, Like every time he tries

0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:35.200
<v Speaker 3>to bring him up, I'm like, no, left in my room.

0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I die so mortifying.

0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:44.560
<v Speaker 2>Like I was like, no, no, no, we're not talking about it.

0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Like I wrote a diary because we spent so much

0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 2>time apart that I thought it would be sweet when

0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:54.440
<v Speaker 2>we didn't talk, because there's because of the time difference.

0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:57.919
<v Speaker 2>I wrote essentially a journal of things that I was feeling.

0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:00.440
<v Speaker 2>And oh my god, this is so she's a caam.

0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:05.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm saying this well, and and I sent it to

0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:08.560
<v Speaker 2>you and and then it was basically one of the

0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:10.520
<v Speaker 2>things where then you can write and then send it back.

0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:11.240
<v Speaker 1>I never got it back.

0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:14.800
<v Speaker 3>It's fine, But did I even know it was there?

0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:17.919
<v Speaker 3>Troy probably found it before. What do you mean, did

0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:18.640
<v Speaker 3>John know thing?

0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:20.560
<v Speaker 1>I sent it to you? You opened it?

0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:22.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh, the one in a little Brown book? Yeah, a

0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:25.200
<v Speaker 3>nice lettle book that is still cherish in the drawer.

0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:27.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the whole point was like to send it, to

0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:28.439
<v Speaker 2>write it back and forth.

0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:31.159
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I get that memo.

0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:35.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah you know you never sent it back. It's fine,

0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:38.920
<v Speaker 2>it's all good. But in there I put my Christmas

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:42.600
<v Speaker 2>card of me and the kids. Okay, and that's when

0:20:42.600 --> 0:20:47.199
<v Speaker 2>he saw it. Okay kids, Yeah, yeah, you.

0:20:47.240 --> 0:20:49.119
<v Speaker 3>Told me that. That wasn't that long ago that you

0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:49.760
<v Speaker 3>told me that.

0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:53.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I was in a hole. I was like,

0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:54.280
<v Speaker 1>please don't tell me.

0:20:57.040 --> 0:20:58.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm not sure read every page.

0:20:59.160 --> 0:20:59.720
<v Speaker 1>Let's hope.

0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:16.720
<v Speaker 3>Now, how did you feel introducing me to Mike, to

0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:18.960
<v Speaker 3>Mike the kids or the kids and the kids? Like,

0:21:19.000 --> 0:21:20.680
<v Speaker 3>how did you approach it with Mike when you knew

0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:22.560
<v Speaker 3>you were going to introduce me to the kids?

0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:26.560
<v Speaker 2>We he was dating a girl around the same time

0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:29.720
<v Speaker 2>that we It was the same almost the same time

0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:36.199
<v Speaker 2>period where he was well, I'll say this, there was

0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:38.800
<v Speaker 2>a time or no, that was that after the next

0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:40.080
<v Speaker 2>time that didn't go well, Well.

0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:42.000
<v Speaker 3>Did you even think about it to who?

0:21:42.560 --> 0:21:46.200
<v Speaker 2>Like, oh, I'm very thought out now, I was after

0:21:46.280 --> 0:21:48.560
<v Speaker 2>the last time. I just like, I cannot mess this

0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:51.080
<v Speaker 2>up again, Like this has to be it.

0:21:52.000 --> 0:21:54.480
<v Speaker 3>Okay, So that's good information for people so based on

0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:56.199
<v Speaker 3>the fact that you messed one up and would have

0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:59.400
<v Speaker 3>done it differently, and I admit to the same, Yeah,

0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:02.320
<v Speaker 3>they've done it ferently. What did you? What did you do?

0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:06.000
<v Speaker 3>Definitely when I come onto the scene.

0:22:05.440 --> 0:22:08.600
<v Speaker 1>I knew that you were the one I was going

0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:11.720
<v Speaker 1>to marry like that.

0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:16.400
<v Speaker 2>It was that potential where I wanted to then obviously

0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:18.720
<v Speaker 2>see how you mesh with my kids. It was to

0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:21.800
<v Speaker 2>that point, but just the other person that I knew

0:22:21.880 --> 0:22:26.119
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't going to and there were things that was

0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:33.040
<v Speaker 2>my mistake because I was wanting this made up story

0:22:33.080 --> 0:22:37.280
<v Speaker 2>in my brain of what that was. So with this situation,

0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:41.640
<v Speaker 2>I remember we were at I was going to because

0:22:41.680 --> 0:22:46.439
<v Speaker 2>we had been talking since October. So so October remember,

0:22:46.640 --> 0:22:49.320
<v Speaker 2>so it's been like it was like three months and

0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:51.439
<v Speaker 2>he was seeing a girlfriend. And I remember I was

0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:58.840
<v Speaker 2>going to Anguilla with Sarah Bryce and we were in

0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:01.439
<v Speaker 2>the airport at a Hudson News or whatever, and I

0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:04.560
<v Speaker 2>said hey, or I was just like talking to Mike

0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:07.760
<v Speaker 2>about something and he goes, hey, I want to talk

0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:08.520
<v Speaker 2>to you, and I knew it.

0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:09.679
<v Speaker 1>I knew exactly what go say.

0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:11.800
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I kind of do too, but I'll

0:23:11.880 --> 0:23:14.320
<v Speaker 2>let you go first, and he's like, you know, you know,

0:23:14.359 --> 0:23:16.280
<v Speaker 2>I've been talking to this person and you know, I

0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.000
<v Speaker 2>it's it's I know it's only been these many months,

0:23:19.040 --> 0:23:21.240
<v Speaker 2>but I would like to kind of introduce.

0:23:21.359 --> 0:23:23.760
<v Speaker 1>And I said, totally cool, totally get it.

0:23:24.000 --> 0:23:27.520
<v Speaker 2>I have also been thinking, are you cool, because you

0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:30.880
<v Speaker 2>know he's going to maybe be coming at the end

0:23:30.880 --> 0:23:33.240
<v Speaker 2>of you know, end of the month and in January

0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:38.520
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, so just be nice to you know, have

0:23:38.640 --> 0:23:40.920
<v Speaker 2>the meet because I think he's going to be moving

0:23:40.960 --> 0:23:42.760
<v Speaker 2>here the next couple of months.

0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:46.920
<v Speaker 3>I remember, sorry, I remember when I was coming over

0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:49.480
<v Speaker 3>and I was going to meet the kids. I remember

0:23:49.520 --> 0:23:54.359
<v Speaker 3>you saying to me, you're a little bit anxious, not

0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:57.000
<v Speaker 3>maybe not anxious, but I love that skeptical because we'd

0:23:57.040 --> 0:24:00.840
<v Speaker 3>been used to that point and you met you'd met

0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:04.160
<v Speaker 3>Troy at this point, but we'd been used to our time,

0:24:04.240 --> 0:24:07.600
<v Speaker 3>always been of our time, and you are a little

0:24:07.640 --> 0:24:10.240
<v Speaker 3>bit anxious around me coming over, and then the time

0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:13.120
<v Speaker 3>is split between Okay, there's going to be the kids

0:24:13.119 --> 0:24:15.639
<v Speaker 3>are going to be around, and we're not going to

0:24:15.640 --> 0:24:18.119
<v Speaker 3>have as much as much one to one time as

0:24:18.160 --> 0:24:23.439
<v Speaker 3>what we normally would have had. And I always trac

0:24:23.480 --> 0:24:28.640
<v Speaker 3>to pease, be like I understand the whole situation. Mm hmm,

0:24:28.840 --> 0:24:31.040
<v Speaker 3>Like I really know what to expect when I get there,

0:24:31.119 --> 0:24:33.000
<v Speaker 3>and I know how important your kids are to you,

0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:34.200
<v Speaker 3>so therefore.

0:24:34.760 --> 0:24:37.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well that's the thing. It's like, even now to

0:24:37.680 --> 0:24:39.520
<v Speaker 2>this day where it's when Roman goes down, I'm like,

0:24:39.560 --> 0:24:41.840
<v Speaker 2>all right, kids, family game time, you know, and it's

0:24:41.880 --> 0:24:45.800
<v Speaker 2>like I am just laser focused on spending that time

0:24:45.840 --> 0:24:48.280
<v Speaker 2>with the kids, and it's like, what if, what if

0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:50.240
<v Speaker 2>this isn't the life that he does want? Like because

0:24:50.280 --> 0:24:54.240
<v Speaker 2>because I do come with two young ones, like you

0:24:54.240 --> 0:24:57.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, Troy is older, you know, and he's.

0:24:57.520 --> 0:24:59.600
<v Speaker 3>I was fifteen at the time, Jason still.

0:24:59.680 --> 0:25:00.840
<v Speaker 1>Tull up, you know.

0:25:01.160 --> 0:25:06.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so Mike is this and I think there's a

0:25:06.119 --> 0:25:09.520
<v Speaker 2>piece of that where you can say I'm to me

0:25:09.560 --> 0:25:13.080
<v Speaker 2>as many times, but until you're in the situation, is

0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:15.040
<v Speaker 2>he going to accept it's not just me, it's all

0:25:15.080 --> 0:25:17.040
<v Speaker 2>of us. And for a while it's just been me

0:25:17.119 --> 0:25:20.200
<v Speaker 2>and like cool, he accepts me and who I am,

0:25:20.760 --> 0:25:23.639
<v Speaker 2>but I'm not that I'm different around my kids, but

0:25:23.920 --> 0:25:25.919
<v Speaker 2>I am. I'm a mom and this is this is

0:25:26.000 --> 0:25:31.159
<v Speaker 2>actually like you've seen the the highlight reel when I

0:25:31.200 --> 0:25:34.600
<v Speaker 2>was in England, right because I had time to put

0:25:34.600 --> 0:25:39.440
<v Speaker 2>on makeup and I was I got to sleep and

0:25:39.720 --> 0:25:42.439
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have really responsibilities there. So when I was

0:25:42.800 --> 0:25:46.680
<v Speaker 2>in you know, when you come to home, it's like, okay,

0:25:46.720 --> 0:25:50.919
<v Speaker 2>this is this is a different Jamma than he's experienced,

0:25:50.920 --> 0:25:52.840
<v Speaker 2>and will he accept me and the two babes and

0:25:52.880 --> 0:25:55.440
<v Speaker 2>it went swimmingly. You were It was a it was

0:25:55.480 --> 0:25:58.080
<v Speaker 2>a very short meeting and I said, you know, this

0:25:58.119 --> 0:26:02.920
<v Speaker 2>is Alan and he lives over in England and trying

0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:05.840
<v Speaker 2>to explain that to them was so cute and so

0:26:06.119 --> 0:26:08.360
<v Speaker 2>but it went great and it was it was so good.

0:26:08.560 --> 0:26:11.639
<v Speaker 3>I think it's easier though, like to be to be

0:26:11.960 --> 0:26:15.560
<v Speaker 3>fair on you, it's easier for me to meet younger

0:26:15.640 --> 0:26:18.520
<v Speaker 3>kids than it was for you to meet boy.

0:26:18.760 --> 0:26:21.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because it's not that it was hard to meet you, no,

0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:22.160
<v Speaker 2>no, no no.

0:26:21.960 --> 0:26:22.960
<v Speaker 1>But love him.

0:26:23.040 --> 0:26:26.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. He's a teenager and he's got his own views,

0:26:26.200 --> 0:26:33.160
<v Speaker 3>his own opinions, and he's got his own mom who

0:26:33.160 --> 0:26:35.800
<v Speaker 3>he's been around for fifteen So it was more difficult

0:26:35.800 --> 0:26:38.080
<v Speaker 3>for you. Well, I would assume it was more difficult

0:26:38.119 --> 0:26:38.320
<v Speaker 3>for you.

0:26:38.640 --> 0:26:39.359
<v Speaker 1>Here's the problem.

0:26:39.400 --> 0:26:45.760
<v Speaker 2>I came from a I came from a divorced background, right,

0:26:45.760 --> 0:26:48.879
<v Speaker 2>and so when my dad started, It's like I don't.

0:26:49.000 --> 0:26:50.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm not looking for another mom. And again my kids

0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:53.480
<v Speaker 2>have their dad too, but you again see them more

0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:58.080
<v Speaker 2>than their dad. So you have such a big responsibility

0:26:58.119 --> 0:27:00.800
<v Speaker 2>and also love and all of it to be this

0:27:00.920 --> 0:27:04.000
<v Speaker 2>father figure in their life too. And for me it's

0:27:04.440 --> 0:27:07.800
<v Speaker 2>it was harder because I don't. I don't get to

0:27:07.800 --> 0:27:10.040
<v Speaker 2>see him as much as I would like to write.

0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:12.320
<v Speaker 2>And I just always just want to be at least,

0:27:12.359 --> 0:27:14.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, a friend and someone that was always there,

0:27:15.040 --> 0:27:17.800
<v Speaker 2>you know. But it is harder I think coming in older,

0:27:17.840 --> 0:27:20.359
<v Speaker 2>you know, with older, but as long as I remain

0:27:21.119 --> 0:27:23.080
<v Speaker 2>you know who I want to be for him again,

0:27:23.160 --> 0:27:25.400
<v Speaker 2>he's got an amazing mom. He's got you like I don't.

0:27:25.560 --> 0:27:28.160
<v Speaker 2>I just am here as a friend and support.

0:27:28.480 --> 0:27:30.240
<v Speaker 3>I think nothing you do it well. I think he

0:27:30.280 --> 0:27:33.119
<v Speaker 3>knows he can have a laugh with you and listen.

0:27:33.240 --> 0:27:36.720
<v Speaker 1>I am the one where he can, you know, take

0:27:36.800 --> 0:27:37.439
<v Speaker 1>jokes at.

0:27:37.320 --> 0:27:39.399
<v Speaker 3>You know what I mean, like tell you a little

0:27:39.600 --> 0:27:40.439
<v Speaker 3>yet won't tell me.

0:27:40.720 --> 0:27:42.880
<v Speaker 2>That's because I'm the cool friend, you know what I mean,

0:27:42.960 --> 0:27:45.480
<v Speaker 2>like and the cool step you know step mom you know, right,

0:27:45.600 --> 0:27:49.480
<v Speaker 2>But like in that I always think of like, yes

0:27:49.560 --> 0:27:51.760
<v Speaker 2>I am a step mom, but I look at it

0:27:51.800 --> 0:27:54.240
<v Speaker 2>as like not the mom, but as a friend because

0:27:54.280 --> 0:27:57.440
<v Speaker 2>he's got, like I said, a great mom. So anyways,

0:27:57.600 --> 0:27:59.760
<v Speaker 2>good chat, follow your heart with it. You don't want

0:27:59.800 --> 0:28:03.400
<v Speaker 2>to evolving door, right, have people coming in and out.

0:28:03.760 --> 0:28:06.000
<v Speaker 2>I think it's important for kids to see their parents,

0:28:07.760 --> 0:28:11.879
<v Speaker 2>you know, maybe you know have relationships, but it doesn't

0:28:11.920 --> 0:28:14.560
<v Speaker 2>have to just be you know, with a romantic person.

0:28:14.600 --> 0:28:17.919
<v Speaker 3>It goes back to kids wants stability and safety. So

0:28:18.040 --> 0:28:23.000
<v Speaker 3>if you're constantly introducing different people, then doesn't it gives

0:28:23.000 --> 0:28:24.960
<v Speaker 3>a bad image of all that kids?

0:28:25.160 --> 0:28:27.320
<v Speaker 2>Right, So I would just for the people you know

0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:30.080
<v Speaker 2>going through that now, just to keep that in mind

0:28:30.119 --> 0:28:32.440
<v Speaker 2>and you know you're doing the best you can.

0:28:32.520 --> 0:28:34.119
<v Speaker 1>We all make mistakes, clearly we have to.

0:28:34.320 --> 0:28:39.360
<v Speaker 2>So anyways, on that note, see you next week.