1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 2: Interesting topic, David Harber says he's tried dating normal people 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,039 Speaker 2: in his early twenties, but they don't get his life 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:17,279 Speaker 2: as an actor. So David Harber was talking about his 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 2: dating history during a conversation with Scarlett Johansson, who also 6 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 2: said that she tried dating someone more normal. 7 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: What she says she said? 8 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 2: She said dating men outside of Hollywood cause jealousy since 9 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 2: actors get very intimate. So she said, I've had serious 10 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 2: relationship with people that were not in the industry, and 11 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 2: I found one of the challenges was that the person 12 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 2: had no idea of what I needed to do my job. Obviously, 13 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 2: if I was dating an oncologist, I wouldn't know what 14 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 2: they needed to do for their job. But it's not 15 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 2: so abstract. Also went on to say, I think it's 16 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 2: easy to create a lot of jealousy when a person 17 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 2: is not involved in the industry because actors by nature 18 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 2: are very free speed and they create very intimate relationships 19 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 2: with people at work. They can be loyal to a 20 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 2: partner and also very engaged in all these other kind 21 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 2: of relationships. I think that can blur lines for some people. 22 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 3: Mm hmm. 23 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,960 Speaker 2: I love one of the questions in this because it 24 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 2: was alan, is Janna the first actress you've dated? It's 25 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 2: like the first question I popped. 26 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, it's not. 27 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 4: It's not. 28 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 1: It's not Tell Tell not Talen. 29 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 3: But no, it's not. 30 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: I guess. 31 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 2: I mean, would we say that that one was an 32 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 2: actual relationship though? 33 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: No, that was just like a fun little hook up. 34 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 3: Okay, pass, Yeah, I mean it was absolutely not relationship. 35 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 3: Yeah that was Yeah, it's not even more discussing, but yeah, no, 36 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 3: you're not the first actress that dated. But I don't 37 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 3: I don't see people as like see this quote here, 38 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 3: of dating normal people. Yeah, like the fine define normal. 39 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: An oncologist not a normal job, a teacher. 40 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 3: Because they're not in the lime light makes them normal. 41 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 3: And I think it's I think it's I see your point. 42 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 3: It's kind of the crying of their profession and the 43 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 3: and demeaning of their not demeaning, but it's almost like, oh, 44 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 3: it's only an ecologist, and an oncologist is an important 45 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 3: job very and not by no means a normal person. 46 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 3: So I think the definition of what normal is is 47 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 3: it's different just because someone is an actress and they're 48 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 3: in the limelight, or an actor they're in the limelight. 49 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 3: It doesn't I don't think they can quote other people 50 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 3: as normal. 51 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 2: I I am, I agree with. I totally hear what 52 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 2: you're saying. Yeah, Like, I definitely hear what you're saying. 53 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 2: Having said that, I do think there's a bit of 54 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 2: abnormality with our jobs. Like an oncologist is not kissing 55 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 2: random co workers, I hope not. Let's just let's just 56 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 2: start with that. 57 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:16,839 Speaker 4: I hope. 58 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 2: I hope they aren't, do you know what I mean? 59 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 2: A doctor isn't having a with people at walk I 60 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 2: hope not. Again, let's just go to straight up, I 61 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 2: hope not. So that's where I think it doesn't make 62 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 2: it a normal quote unquote job. 63 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: I totally hear what you're saying that. 64 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just don't like the phrase normal. 65 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 2: Sure, I it is a it is a I mean, 66 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 2: I guess what would be the work because I totally 67 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 2: hear what you're saying, and I wish there was a 68 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 2: better word too, Yeah, because I totally get it, Like 69 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 2: just oh, just because you're a teacher, that makes you normal, 70 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 2: Like no, no, you have a very important job of 71 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 2: teaching kids. And you have like that's that's not and 72 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 2: to me, like that would be a really hard job. 73 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 2: I couldn't imagine the patients that teachers have, so that's 74 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 2: that would be a really hard job. I would say, 75 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 2: we're warning but hard. But again with acting, it is so. 76 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: It's not. 77 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 2: The things that we have to do are not typical 78 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 2: to what other professions would do, hopefully during during their 79 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 2: work hours. It shouldn't be what they're doing. 80 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 3: I think there's a part of my profession where people 81 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 3: have a judgment and people have an opinion because I 82 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 3: train higher level players and stuff like that. Granted I'm 83 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 3: not guessing. 84 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: My clients again, I hope not. 85 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 3: So that dynamic is different. Sure, absolutely. Did you find 86 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,600 Speaker 3: that hard to date normals normals? 87 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's difficult at times for sure, because 88 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 2: they don't understand like you really you know, we've had 89 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 2: this conversation so many times on here about intimate scenes, 90 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 2: I mean to you know, to the we don't even 91 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 2: need to discuss it again, like we know we're you 92 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 2: stand on it. So you know, it is a lot 93 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 2: easier to date an actor who understands that piece of it, 94 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,039 Speaker 2: you know, because we are so and that's I think 95 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 2: even when you came to visit me on this last set, 96 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 2: we are around the opposite sex in a different in 97 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:24,160 Speaker 2: a more intimate way in scenes and then hanging out 98 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 2: with them when the cameras are. But also you see 99 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,039 Speaker 2: the it's not in a a lot of times like 100 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 2: word she says, She's like, the lines can be blurred. Absolutely, 101 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 2: they can for sure get blurred. But there's also a 102 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:43,239 Speaker 2: piece where when you are in a respectful marriage and. 103 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 3: You can see the red stump to fell off in 104 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 3: my eyes. Here, why as the devil takes over me? 105 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 2: No, like you know, different situation. You know with this 106 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 2: obviously I'm not single onset you. 107 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 3: Can get blood. How can the lanes get blowed? 108 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 2: Well, because you're around the person so much so if 109 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 2: you're single and you're with this person all day long. 110 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 1: But as i your. 111 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 3: Shingle does nothing to blur your single you can do 112 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 3: the hell you want anyway. So where's the blood lines? 113 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,239 Speaker 2: The blurred lines are You're it's you're at summer camp 114 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,600 Speaker 2: and you're blurring professionalism. Just like in any job, really 115 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 2: you can blur lines. But I think with this situation, 116 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 2: it's you know, you're around the people. But you see, 117 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 2: when you're around the people a lot too, you can 118 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 2: get annoyed to them as well. I'm like, you know, 119 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 2: and where I'm now, it's a I just like to 120 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 2: kind of be alone because I show up, I do 121 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 2: my work, I want to go home. 122 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 3: You can like someone at first and like the company 123 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 3: being around, and then day three or four like pain 124 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 3: in the ass, can't be asked, get me away from 125 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 3: this person. Yeah, because you spent so much time with them. 126 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:47,480 Speaker 3: I understand that. 127 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. 128 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 2: But I do see where lines can get blurred. But 129 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 2: I think it is easier. I have a question about 130 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 2: the person that you how many how long did you 131 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 2: date that actress? 132 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 3: And then there's only one day? 133 00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: You only one in one day? 134 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 4: Huh? 135 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 1: I think she still follows you on Instagram. 136 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 3: I don't know. 137 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: Every time we see her, like perfume Ad, I'm like, hey, bebe. 138 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 2: You want to be with you? Remember that could have 139 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 2: been you. It didn't bother you that she was an actress. 140 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 3: No, And when it when it comes to you, like 141 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 3: there's a question here about dating you and you was 142 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 3: it difficult dating you because you were an actress? I 143 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 3: don't see people as their jobs or their titles. I 144 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 3: never have and never will. Does it. Did it make 145 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 3: a difference to me that you were an actress or 146 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 3: a singer or a heart surgeon or No? Absolutely not, 147 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 3: and it doesn't. I've never been one for Okay, this 148 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 3: person's got a title this. But I'm just like, I 149 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 3: try and if you're a good person, then I try 150 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 3: and get on with you. I never seen you as 151 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 3: I've never been like, I'm dating an actress. M that's 152 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 3: not who I am. 153 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 2: So you wouldn't have cared if I was. I don't 154 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 2: know what if I when you saw me on my 155 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 2: on the page right, that's how I share. 156 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 3: You will not actous because I don't need to deal 157 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 3: with a incussing scenes. 158 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: That's not true. 159 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 3: No, I want you to be an anxious because you 160 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 3: love doing that. Yeah. Yeah, don't get me. 161 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,239 Speaker 1: Don't mistake yeah, because that'll be a headline. 162 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 4: Yeah. 163 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,319 Speaker 2: I do think it is is difficult, though, to date 164 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 2: people that they just don't understand, just like I wouldn't 165 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 2: understand like she said, I wouldn't understand what for example, 166 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 2: professional athlete, you know you're coaching if you were to 167 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 2: do well you were yeah, you know, And so I 168 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 2: don't I didn't know much about soccer, I didn't know 169 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 2: much of the coaching life being ten months away, Like 170 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 2: there are things that I sure because if they're not 171 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 2: used to that lifestyle, it's it's hard for people. 172 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's also there's the unknown, Like don't 173 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 3: I don't really know what it's like on a set 174 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 3: with you and other people. So when I first started 175 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 3: dating you, I was like, what does that look like? 176 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 3: What you like on set? What are the other people like? 177 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,199 Speaker 3: How does it function? How does it flow? And then 178 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 3: the more that I got to be on set and 179 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 3: be around people who like the more maybe you'll agree 180 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 3: and maybe you want, but the more comfortable I am 181 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 3: with you being on set now because the fear of 182 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 3: the unknown is kind of diminished because I know roughly 183 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 3: what it looks like on set. I know how you 184 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 3: acquit yourself on set and how professional and how respectful 185 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 3: you are to us, So the fear of the unknown 186 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 3: hasn't really there anymore. Do I love you being on 187 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 3: set with guys? And of course I don't a human being, 188 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 3: I've got feelings and fears, and but. 189 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 2: You see now kind of the you've done what a 190 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 2: couple you know? Five plus movies now with me, so 191 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 2: you can see that it's the same recipe in the 192 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 2: same wheel, and it's you. 193 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 3: Know, it's the process is pretty much the same. 194 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 1: What it is every time each one. 195 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, do I get? Do I get? You know 196 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 3: what I'm like the like I don't get jealous, But 197 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 3: also I also need to lock eyes on the person 198 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 3: that you're as your co star in the movie and 199 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 3: be like, I need to figure this person out, and 200 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,079 Speaker 3: then once I figure them out, I'm more comfortable. 201 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 2: Would you get Yeah, I think I think you want 202 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 2: to have that handshake with the dude, do Yeah. 203 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: And I think there's only been one you haven't liked. 204 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's not that I didn't like him. I 205 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 3: just knew what he could have been in the background. 206 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 207 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 3: Anyway, not that I dislike him, because I think he's 208 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 3: actually good at what he does and he was excellent 209 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 3: in the movie. 210 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 211 00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 2: But I think that goes to anything like you want 212 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 2: to feel comfortable around your Like I would want to 213 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 2: feel comfortable with who you're working with, And I think 214 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 2: that's typical for a spouse to want to meet the person. 215 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:14,839 Speaker 2: And that's why I've been so like every time I'm like, hey, 216 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 2: my mission always at first it's like for you to 217 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,959 Speaker 2: meet the person so you can see and have that 218 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 2: connection and comfortability with them, and that's important to me, 219 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 2: so that you're comfortable too. 220 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 4: Yeah. 221 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I won with old guys so. 222 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: Well. 223 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 2: I mean you did coach for a women's team there 224 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 2: for the first year. 225 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you know. 226 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 2: But I again, it's about who you're with, right, So 227 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 2: like in past lives with relationships, I would not have 228 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 2: trusted that person to work on an all girls team 229 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 2: with you. I'm like, have fun in Kansas, you know, 230 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 2: like there's no I trusted you with being around a 231 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:56,439 Speaker 2: team of girls. Yeah, every week for how long? 232 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: Nine months? Ten months? 233 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 3: It's a couple of days a week. No, it wasn't 234 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 3: that long. Was five months? 235 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: Okay? 236 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 3: Well even so like a week for five months. 237 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was so comfortable because I trust you, and 238 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 2: I think at the end of the day you can 239 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 2: see the difference, like I was. 240 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 1: It's a great example. 241 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 2: I was showing him a instagram of someone that I've 242 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 2: been in a movie with, and I said, this is 243 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 2: how I used to. 244 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: Be with my co stars. 245 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 3: Say that again. 246 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 2: I showed you a video of somebody on Instagram of 247 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 2: them like this is how I was like, babe, this 248 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:37,559 Speaker 2: is how I used to be on socials and you know, 249 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 2: because I just was like, ah, like just we are 250 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 2: just more free. But it does come off as quite 251 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 2: inappropriate if you're in a relationship, but I never saw 252 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 2: it that way. 253 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, listen. Also depends in the situation. 254 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,719 Speaker 2: I would like to instagram that's but I don't want 255 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 2: to make you uncomfortable. Like so there's times when I 256 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 2: would have maybe wanted to more, but I'm like, oh, 257 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 2: I don't want to make him uncomfortable. 258 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 3: What depends what you're doing in the Instagram video, Like 259 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 3: that particular video you showed me the guys like hugging 260 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 3: this woman. I'm like, i'd have been like I being 261 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 3: straight on the phone. You know, Okay you then is 262 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 3: it April Fool's Day? Get that down right now? I 263 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 3: can get back. Yeah, I just spoke to the director. 264 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 3: You've got three days off, even even even stuff like 265 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 3: you're good with so when you're prepping for the movie, 266 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,199 Speaker 3: and also you have to speak to the directors, you 267 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 3: have to touch base with possibly other actors, and you're 268 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 3: good with me, Like, listen, this person, this text me, 269 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 3: this person wants my number? Are you okay with it? So? 270 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,360 Speaker 3: I think the respect around it is. Is it a 271 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 3: really high level? 272 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:55,840 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I always am like because I want you 273 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: to feel you know. 274 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 3: And you also don't want an angry Scott's and coming 275 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:00,839 Speaker 3: on to sit. 276 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, stop it. 277 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 3: You wouldn't, okay, wouldn't. 278 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 2: Topic number two introducing kids to new partners, So lake 279 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:12,840 Speaker 2: Bell reveals parameters for introducing kids to new partners. She 280 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 2: is open about co parenting her two kids to ex 281 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 2: husband Scott Campbell, and that includes how the two navigate 282 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 2: dating as single parents. 283 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 1: So she has. 284 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 2: Basically said that usually if she's hanging around someone for 285 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 2: five or six months and they've shown that they care 286 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 2: about meeting them, like okay, sometimes it happens a little 287 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 2: sooner because if the people have kids, then you know, 288 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 2: if the kids don't get along, that's kind of disastrous. 289 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: When you got did anyone? Oh yeah? 290 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:44,560 Speaker 3: Uh? 291 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: I answered my own question in my brain? That did 292 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: not end well. 293 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 2: I was gonna say, did you introduce someone post divorce? 294 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 2: How was there a timeline for you in your brain? 295 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: Sorry? 296 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 3: Was there a timeline in my brain? 297 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 1: And this is not about me? 298 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 3: No, no, no, it's nothing to you, was there a 299 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 3: timeline in my brain? I was. I was fueled by 300 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 3: I was probably fueled by anger at that point in 301 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 3: my life, where. 302 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 1: I think that's true for a lot of co parenting situations. 303 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 3: I was fueled by anger and resentment. And if I 304 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 3: was to do it again, I would have done it. 305 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,760 Speaker 3: I would have done that differently, absolutely, and I would 306 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 3: have I would have waited longer, and I would have 307 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 3: put Troy's feelings in it first. So yeah, I have 308 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 3: a regret around that. Absolutely I would have I would 309 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 3: have waited and had more composure around it rather than 310 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 3: fuel emotions around it, and like I had to do 311 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 3: somewhat something to get one over someone else. Yeah, not 312 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 3: handled it wrong? Absolutely? 313 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: Where does that sit with you? 314 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 4: Now? 315 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 3: It's it sets fine. I've had the discussion with Roy 316 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 3: on it, like a few years back, and and I've 317 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 3: apologized how or how I did that and given reasons 318 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 3: felt why I did it and there were wrong reasons. 319 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 3: So yeah, what. 320 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 2: Do you think is the best like tip then for 321 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 2: people that are coming out of a divorce when it 322 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 2: involves kids and having new relationships, Because I do I've 323 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 2: always agreed, like when we've spoken about it, there is 324 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 2: a piece where you are allowed to have your happiness 325 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 2: and your Obviously it wasn't to end up with but 326 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 2: I think there's like this push and pull between you, 327 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 2: you wanting a new start, and but also it's hard 328 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 2: when maybe they don't, when they don't mesh with the kids, 329 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 2: that's that's tough. 330 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think the biggest thing for me 331 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 3: is the kids will tell you yeah, the kids will 332 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 3: let you know you like you don't have to continually 333 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 3: ask them and should never feel pressured by the other 334 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 3: person saying well, what's the problem when we're going to 335 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 3: meet the kids, Like it should always be about okay, 336 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 3: this is and I think it should almost be the 337 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,159 Speaker 3: kids should depend on these The kids should come to 338 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 3: you and say, look that I'm ready to meet this 339 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 3: person who's in your life. And I think that's probably 340 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 3: the best way to do it, because anything else is 341 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,160 Speaker 3: is your agenda being pushed on the children, which is yeah, 342 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,320 Speaker 3: I have regrets around that. 343 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, well we and I've always kind of had like 344 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:46,160 Speaker 2: a it's so hard to put a time limit on 345 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 2: on it, right, like obviously the short like the very beginning, 346 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 2: the first few months. 347 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: I don't think it's appropriate. 348 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 2: But if things are progressing, especially if they have kids, 349 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 2: you know, I think you have to feel it out. 350 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:07,639 Speaker 2: There have been obviously I wish I didn't introduce the 351 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,640 Speaker 2: kids to you know, post, but that was I Again, 352 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 2: I think when you're in that place of hurt and 353 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 2: you're wanting to move on, it's messy. It gets a 354 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:19,879 Speaker 2: little messy. 355 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course it does. 356 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: And even though I. 357 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 2: Tried going about it the right way, it's still they 358 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 2: go back and be like, oh, that's a bummer. Now 359 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 2: luckily learn from that made better choices post. And you know, 360 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 2: trying to get the co parent to agree on proper 361 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 2: timing is also really hard, and. 362 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 3: I think how you do it is also important. There's 363 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 3: the timing of it, and then that's how Then that's 364 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,439 Speaker 3: how you do it and where you do it, and 365 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 3: the environment and what you do it and so that 366 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 3: the kids feel safe that they can leave that environment. 367 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 2: Well yeah, and I think with this situation too, like 368 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,399 Speaker 2: even when I was flying over to to didn't to 369 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,879 Speaker 2: come see you. You were very much like, you know, 370 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 2: I'm spending time with Troy, and I need you know, 371 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 2: I'll see you this is when you leave. Because it 372 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,680 Speaker 2: was we had to because because you learned the lesson, 373 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 2: I guess on the last one. But he found out yea, 374 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,439 Speaker 2: which is funny, Like he was the one that actually 375 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 2: found out before you even told him. 376 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 3: He actually he actually told me this story of how 377 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 3: he found out. I'm mortified of him reading a Little 378 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 3: Brown Mortified to this day, Like every time he tries 379 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 3: to bring him up, I'm like, no, left in my room. 380 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: I die so mortifying. 381 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 2: Like I was like, no, no, no, we're not talking about it. 382 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 2: Like I wrote a diary because we spent so much 383 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 2: time apart that I thought it would be sweet when 384 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,440 Speaker 2: we didn't talk, because there's because of the time difference. 385 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,919 Speaker 2: I wrote essentially a journal of things that I was feeling. 386 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 2: And oh my god, this is so she's a caam. 387 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 2: I'm saying this well, and and I sent it to 388 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 2: you and and then it was basically one of the 389 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 2: things where then you can write and then send it back. 390 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: I never got it back. 391 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 3: It's fine, But did I even know it was there? 392 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 3: Troy probably found it before. What do you mean, did 393 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:18,640 Speaker 3: John know thing? 394 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 1: I sent it to you? You opened it? 395 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 3: Oh, the one in a little Brown book? Yeah, a 396 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 3: nice lettle book that is still cherish in the drawer. 397 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, the whole point was like to send it, to 398 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,439 Speaker 2: write it back and forth. 399 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, I get that memo. 400 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 2: Yeah you know you never sent it back. It's fine, 401 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,920 Speaker 2: it's all good. But in there I put my Christmas 402 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 2: card of me and the kids. Okay, and that's when 403 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:47,199 Speaker 2: he saw it. Okay kids, Yeah, yeah, you. 404 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,119 Speaker 3: Told me that. That wasn't that long ago that you 405 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:49,760 Speaker 3: told me that. 406 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was in a hole. I was like, 407 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 1: please don't tell me. 408 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,960 Speaker 3: I'm not sure read every page. 409 00:20:59,160 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 1: Let's hope. 410 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 3: Now, how did you feel introducing me to Mike, to 411 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,960 Speaker 3: Mike the kids or the kids and the kids? Like, 412 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,680 Speaker 3: how did you approach it with Mike when you knew 413 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 3: you were going to introduce me to the kids? 414 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 2: We he was dating a girl around the same time 415 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 2: that we It was the same almost the same time 416 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:36,199 Speaker 2: period where he was well, I'll say this, there was 417 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 2: a time or no, that was that after the next 418 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 2: time that didn't go well, Well. 419 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 3: Did you even think about it to who? 420 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 2: Like, oh, I'm very thought out now, I was after 421 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 2: the last time. I just like, I cannot mess this 422 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 2: up again, Like this has to be it. 423 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 3: Okay, So that's good information for people so based on 424 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,199 Speaker 3: the fact that you messed one up and would have 425 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,400 Speaker 3: done it differently, and I admit to the same, Yeah, 426 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 3: they've done it ferently. What did you? What did you do? 427 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 3: Definitely when I come onto the scene. 428 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: I knew that you were the one I was going 429 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: to marry like that. 430 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:16,400 Speaker 2: It was that potential where I wanted to then obviously 431 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 2: see how you mesh with my kids. It was to 432 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 2: that point, but just the other person that I knew 433 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 2: I wasn't going to and there were things that was 434 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 2: my mistake because I was wanting this made up story 435 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 2: in my brain of what that was. So with this situation, 436 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,640 Speaker 2: I remember we were at I was going to because 437 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:46,439 Speaker 2: we had been talking since October. So so October remember, 438 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 2: so it's been like it was like three months and 439 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,439 Speaker 2: he was seeing a girlfriend. And I remember I was 440 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 2: going to Anguilla with Sarah Bryce and we were in 441 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,439 Speaker 2: the airport at a Hudson News or whatever, and I 442 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 2: said hey, or I was just like talking to Mike 443 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 2: about something and he goes, hey, I want to talk 444 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 2: to you, and I knew it. 445 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:09,679 Speaker 1: I knew exactly what go say. 446 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 2: I was like, I kind of do too, but I'll 447 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 2: let you go first, and he's like, you know, you know, 448 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 2: I've been talking to this person and you know, I 449 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 2: it's it's I know it's only been these many months, 450 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 2: but I would like to kind of introduce. 451 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: And I said, totally cool, totally get it. 452 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 2: I have also been thinking, are you cool, because you 453 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,880 Speaker 2: know he's going to maybe be coming at the end 454 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,240 Speaker 2: of you know, end of the month and in January 455 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 2: or whatever, so just be nice to you know, have 456 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 2: the meet because I think he's going to be moving 457 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 2: here the next couple of months. 458 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 3: I remember, sorry, I remember when I was coming over 459 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 3: and I was going to meet the kids. I remember 460 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 3: you saying to me, you're a little bit anxious, not 461 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 3: maybe not anxious, but I love that skeptical because we'd 462 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,840 Speaker 3: been used to that point and you met you'd met 463 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 3: Troy at this point, but we'd been used to our time, 464 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 3: always been of our time, and you are a little 465 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 3: bit anxious around me coming over, and then the time 466 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,120 Speaker 3: is split between Okay, there's going to be the kids 467 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,639 Speaker 3: are going to be around, and we're not going to 468 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,119 Speaker 3: have as much as much one to one time as 469 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 3: what we normally would have had. And I always trac 470 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:28,640 Speaker 3: to pease, be like I understand the whole situation. Mm hmm, 471 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 3: Like I really know what to expect when I get there, 472 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 3: and I know how important your kids are to you, 473 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 3: so therefore. 474 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's the thing. It's like, even now to 475 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 2: this day where it's when Roman goes down, I'm like, 476 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 2: all right, kids, family game time, you know, and it's 477 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 2: like I am just laser focused on spending that time 478 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 2: with the kids, and it's like, what if, what if 479 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 2: this isn't the life that he does want? Like because 480 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 2: because I do come with two young ones, like you 481 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 2: you know, Troy is older, you know, and he's. 482 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 3: I was fifteen at the time, Jason still. 483 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 1: Tull up, you know. 484 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, so Mike is this and I think there's a 485 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,520 Speaker 2: piece of that where you can say I'm to me 486 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 2: as many times, but until you're in the situation, is 487 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 2: he going to accept it's not just me, it's all 488 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 2: of us. And for a while it's just been me 489 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,200 Speaker 2: and like cool, he accepts me and who I am, 490 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 2: but I'm not that I'm different around my kids, but 491 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,919 Speaker 2: I am. I'm a mom and this is this is 492 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 2: actually like you've seen the the highlight reel when I 493 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 2: was in England, right because I had time to put 494 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 2: on makeup and I was I got to sleep and 495 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 2: I didn't have really responsibilities there. So when I was 496 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 2: in you know, when you come to home, it's like, okay, 497 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,919 Speaker 2: this is this is a different Jamma than he's experienced, 498 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 2: and will he accept me and the two babes and 499 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 2: it went swimmingly. You were It was a it was 500 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 2: a very short meeting and I said, you know, this 501 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 2: is Alan and he lives over in England and trying 502 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 2: to explain that to them was so cute and so 503 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,360 Speaker 2: but it went great and it was it was so good. 504 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 3: I think it's easier though, like to be to be 505 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 3: fair on you, it's easier for me to meet younger 506 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,520 Speaker 3: kids than it was for you to meet boy. 507 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's not that it was hard to meet you, no, 508 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:22,160 Speaker 2: no, no no. 509 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:22,960 Speaker 1: But love him. 510 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. He's a teenager and he's got his own views, 511 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:33,160 Speaker 3: his own opinions, and he's got his own mom who 512 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 3: he's been around for fifteen So it was more difficult 513 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 3: for you. Well, I would assume it was more difficult 514 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:38,320 Speaker 3: for you. 515 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: Here's the problem. 516 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 2: I came from a I came from a divorced background, right, 517 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,879 Speaker 2: and so when my dad started, It's like I don't. 518 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,920 Speaker 2: I'm not looking for another mom. And again my kids 519 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,480 Speaker 2: have their dad too, but you again see them more 520 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 2: than their dad. So you have such a big responsibility 521 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,800 Speaker 2: and also love and all of it to be this 522 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,000 Speaker 2: father figure in their life too. And for me it's 523 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 2: it was harder because I don't. I don't get to 524 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,040 Speaker 2: see him as much as I would like to write. 525 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 2: And I just always just want to be at least, 526 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,920 Speaker 2: you know, a friend and someone that was always there, 527 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 2: you know. But it is harder I think coming in older, 528 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 2: you know, with older, but as long as I remain 529 00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 2: you know who I want to be for him again, 530 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,400 Speaker 2: he's got an amazing mom. He's got you like I don't. 531 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,160 Speaker 2: I just am here as a friend and support. 532 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 3: I think nothing you do it well. I think he 533 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 3: knows he can have a laugh with you and listen. 534 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 1: I am the one where he can, you know, take 535 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:37,439 Speaker 1: jokes at. 536 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,399 Speaker 3: You know what I mean, like tell you a little 537 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:40,439 Speaker 3: yet won't tell me. 538 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,880 Speaker 2: That's because I'm the cool friend, you know what I mean, 539 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 2: like and the cool step you know step mom you know, right, 540 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 2: But like in that I always think of like, yes 541 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 2: I am a step mom, but I look at it 542 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,240 Speaker 2: as like not the mom, but as a friend because 543 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 2: he's got, like I said, a great mom. So anyways, 544 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,760 Speaker 2: good chat, follow your heart with it. You don't want 545 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,400 Speaker 2: to evolving door, right, have people coming in and out. 546 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 2: I think it's important for kids to see their parents, 547 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:11,879 Speaker 2: you know, maybe you know have relationships, but it doesn't 548 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 2: have to just be you know, with a romantic person. 549 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,919 Speaker 3: It goes back to kids wants stability and safety. So 550 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:23,000 Speaker 3: if you're constantly introducing different people, then doesn't it gives 551 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 3: a bad image of all that kids? 552 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 2: Right, So I would just for the people you know 553 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 2: going through that now, just to keep that in mind 554 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,440 Speaker 2: and you know you're doing the best you can. 555 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 1: We all make mistakes, clearly we have to. 556 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 2: So anyways, on that note, see you next week.