1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,040 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio 2 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,639 Speaker 1: in partnership with I Heart Radio. The doctor kept saying, like, 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: the more sec you are, like the stronger, better signs. 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,239 Speaker 1: It is better signs signs, pointing to pregnancy. Yeah. I 5 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: was throwing up so much. I thought I had h G. 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: I couldn't and I did sit water and vomit. I 7 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this is gonna harm my baby. 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: Because you're supposed to be like you have to be 9 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: a something. My oh b had one baby, she had HD. 10 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: She threw up so much. She's like, I survived on 11 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: Seagram's ginger Ale and Saltine's. It's all She ate for 12 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: ten months. I don't know. I couldn't even have a cracker. 13 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: I was like, I was like licking celery. I was like, 14 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: hello everybody, and welcome back to Katie's Crib. Today's guest 15 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: has been a friend of mine for a while. You 16 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 1: may know her as MICHAELA. Pratt on ABC's How to 17 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: get Away with Murder. I can remember when Asian Naomi 18 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: King booked How to get Away with Murder and I 19 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 1: first met her at like an ABC upfront event, and 20 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,639 Speaker 1: it just reminded me so much of what I got Quinn, 21 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,120 Speaker 1: and it's been so awesome to just watch Asia and 22 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: her career blossom and her family blossom. We get into 23 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: it in this episode. We talk at length about her 24 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: two miscarriages before her pregnancy. She gave birth to her 25 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: first child, her Rainbow Baby, in June. We talked about 26 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: her labor. We talked about how awesome it was that 27 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: she posted a very candid, beautiful image of her body 28 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: right after childbirth and what that really looks like. Barava Asia. 29 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know How to get 30 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: Away with Murder MICHAELA. Pratt, well you should, but if 31 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: you don't, you may have caught Asia as Cassandra Copelson 32 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: in the c W medical comedy drama Emily Owens. She's 33 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: been in films such as Boxing Day, The Birth of 34 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: a Nation, and The Upside. She's received dozens of television 35 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,120 Speaker 1: and film accolades, including n double A. C. P Age 36 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress for How to Get Away 37 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: with Murder two thousand fifteen. She's won the Rising Star 38 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 1: Award and the tenth annual Essence Black Women in Hollywood 39 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 1: event in two thousand seventeen. She is the face of 40 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: the skincare line O l A and followed two thousand 41 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: fifteen and she became a spokesperson for Freaking Loaureal Paris. 42 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: In two thousand seventeen, like I said, she welcomed her 43 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 1: first child with her husband, Dan King. Asia. Welcome to 44 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib, Asia, Naomi King. Okay, take loads. I mean 45 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:37,919 Speaker 1: we first met at a Oh man, you guys were 46 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: like the new kids on the block. What season was 47 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,959 Speaker 1: that of Scandal? I don't even know, but everyone was 48 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: talking about How To Get Away with Murder and it 49 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 1: hadn't come out yet, and we were at some sort 50 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: of event. Someone walked you over to me. It might 51 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: have even been Shonda. Let's say it makes for a 52 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: better story. She was like, this girl is a star, 53 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, a, yeah, she is. And then 54 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: I watched your performance in the first episode of How 55 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: To Get Away with Murder and since then it has 56 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: been a trajectory of shine and brilliance and authenticity and 57 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 1: just awesomeness. And I'm just so happy that amidst all 58 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: of your craze, dizziness and exciting career stuff, you managed 59 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: to have a baby yes, I mean the pandemic helped, 60 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: so totally agree, it really did. It was a great 61 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: time to be like, oh, well we can't do anything, 62 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 1: let's try this. Did you always want to be a mom? 63 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: I did. This is funny to me though, it's like 64 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: because my husband didn't, and he's way more of the 65 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: like parent caretaker than I am. I always wanted to 66 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: be a mom because like, that's what you do. You 67 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: go to college, you fallen of, you get married, you 68 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: have a baby. Yeah, societal norms tell us this is 69 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: the order. Is exactly like you follow the fairy tale, 70 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: you know, and like and that's just what you're supposed 71 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: to do, having no idea of what that actually means, 72 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,840 Speaker 1: what that actually looks like. Like my idea of having 73 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 1: a baby was like something to put cute clothes on 74 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: and that, and that's so obscure. You can't understand it, 75 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,359 Speaker 1: really I And I remember even asking friends when I 76 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 1: finally did get pregnant, I was like, why do you 77 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: need so much help? I don't understand there's two of 78 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 1: you and there's only one baby. And now I'm like, wow, 79 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: I was such a fool. Just what a fool I was? Yeah, 80 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: babies for such a little thing. They really blow up 81 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: your whole life. They really do. They really do. So 82 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: you really wanted to be a mom because it was 83 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: what you what I thought I was supposed to do. 84 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 1: Did that ever change? I know? I have to say 85 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: right at the top of this podcast that you anyone 86 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: listening who doesn't follow Asian Nammy King's Instagram, it's a 87 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 1: wonderful place because you're so I'm so appreciative of your 88 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: posts about your experiences. Um. I think they're so honest 89 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 1: and raw and helpful and inspiring. So you had been 90 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: pregnant a couple of times before, right, Yes, I fell 91 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 1: in love to me, the next logical step was have 92 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: a baby. But the first time we got pregnant, we 93 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 1: weren't trying. It was an accident, and it was the 94 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: kind of thing where I was like, oh, ship, like 95 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,479 Speaker 1: this is a little I'm not sure. I was like 96 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: totally ready for this, and actually we weren't even we 97 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,240 Speaker 1: weren't married yet by that time. In my mind, I'm like, 98 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 1: this is out of order. This isn't the way this 99 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: supposed to go. But okay, go always we can. We 100 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,039 Speaker 1: can get married before the baby comes, and it all 101 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: even out, you know. And when I think back to 102 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: that first time of getting pregnant, there was like so 103 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: much this is so insane, but still my brains like that, 104 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: this is what you're supposed to do, so it's okay. Now. 105 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: When I think back to that time, I just remember 106 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: us sitting in the car after our doctor's appointment, after 107 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: being told that there is no baby um and the 108 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: two of us just sobbing. And it was supposed to 109 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: be easy, it was supposed to be just the natural thing. 110 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,040 Speaker 1: It was like breaking of the fantasy for me. Basically, 111 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: it's like, so wait, so it's not just gonna happen, 112 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 1: it's supposed to just happen. And going through that first miscarriage, 113 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: you know, I'm a I'm an eternal optimist, which sometimes 114 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: really backfires, especially and I'm right. So when I had 115 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: to get a d n C and I'm coming out 116 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: sedation and the nurses they're trying to like put my 117 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: pants on, I'm like show me, like show like, show 118 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 1: me what, show me what you took out? Because you 119 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: maybe you made a mistake and there's a baby in there, 120 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: so like there's this is not right, something is wrong, 121 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: Like this can't be the story. This is not my story. Yeah, 122 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: this is this is wrong. Everyone's making a mistake. This 123 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: is not my story. There's a baby, You're just you're 124 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: all missing it. The machines broken. You shouldn't have done 125 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: this thing proved to me that that you didn't mess up. 126 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: And then and I was still working at that time, 127 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: we were still we were in the midst of shooting 128 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: murder and like we had gone into the season, and 129 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: I was so excited because it was like my little 130 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: secret that I'm going to have a baby and I 131 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: don't even know when to tell the writers. Yeah, I 132 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 1: did the same thing, and then you realize I had 133 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: a very similar thing, Like didn't you realize, like, oh, 134 00:07:55,080 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: I can't control this, Like I cannot really plan how 135 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: I've always been able to plan my whole life. Like 136 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: I'm sort of I think you and I are similar 137 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: in the type a like this is what's how things 138 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: get organized? When's your birthday again? January eleven? I am 139 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: a Capricorn. How far along were you? We were like 140 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: about two and a half months in because because we 141 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: had been traveling, so I didn't even have a doctor 142 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: to go to until we got back to the US. 143 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: Oh no, oh god, Yeah, this was so horrible. I 144 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: totally forgot about this part. My first miscarriage was a 145 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: blighted Ovum. I'm really bad at knowing my own anatomy 146 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: and how that works, and that's really sad. But basically, like, um, 147 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: I think, I'm like, we're gonna google. I don't want 148 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: to say this wrong, let's think, let's look this up. Okay. 149 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: Blighted album excuse me for rumpting is also called an 150 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:06,200 Speaker 1: an embryonic gestation. It's a condition that occurs when a 151 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: gestational sack develops without an embryo. It occurs when an 152 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: embryo never develops or stops developing, often no specific causes 153 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: a parent. It's usually noticed in the first few weeks 154 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: of pregnancy during an ultrasound, so it's basically like everything 155 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: is there except a baby. And that's why I had 156 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,400 Speaker 1: to do the DNC, because they had to like take 157 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: that sack out because it's not fertilized or it's not 158 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: a real embryo. I mean, it's not going to end 159 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 1: up in a baby. So this the second one, right, 160 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: the second miscarriage. When I did the ultrasound, I hated 161 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: this so much. The tech was like, you had a 162 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: positive pregnancy test, and I'm like, what then do you 163 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: think I'm here? Yes, I had a positive. No, this 164 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: can't be happening again. Not, this cannot be happening again. 165 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: And she's just like I'm not seeing anything in here, 166 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,440 Speaker 1: and then tags on at the end and do you 167 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: know you have a fibroid? I'm like, lady picks, let's um. 168 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: And then later like my doctor was worried, like what 169 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 1: if it's when they think it's outside of the uterus, 170 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: So they wanted me to go back to the doctor 171 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: because that's so dangerous. They wanted me go back to 172 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: the doctor, and like I went to the emergency room 173 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 1: to double check. And I remember, I think for those 174 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,199 Speaker 1: listening in egg talk, pregnancy is when the embryo is 175 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,319 Speaker 1: attached to like the Filippian tube or something, but it's 176 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,360 Speaker 1: not correctly in the uterus. So if it were to grow, 177 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,320 Speaker 1: it could actually it could kill you, blow up your 178 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 1: fallopian tube, and you would not be good. I rushed 179 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 1: to the emergency room and I'm in the room with 180 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: the nurse. She's like, Okay, I'm gonna bring in the 181 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: doctor because clearly there's some confusion. So we're gonna like 182 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: check this out or whatever, and are you alone or 183 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 1: is your hunting? My husband's with me and this woman 184 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 1: run is in. This doctor runs in, doesn't even say hi, 185 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: and she just starts like pushing on my body like 186 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: super quickly, and I'm just like, what's going on? And 187 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: she was like, this is your second miscarriage? And she 188 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: asked me and what happened the first time? And I'm 189 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 1: like telling her, like the first time I had a 190 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: blighted opum. She bursts out laughing. I just started crying 191 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: because I'm like, why is this woman laughing at me 192 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,439 Speaker 1: when I just told her I'm in the middle of 193 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: a second miscarriage. I just told her my first one 194 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: was a blinded over him it And she's literally laughing 195 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: in my face. And she was just like, I'm sorry, 196 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 1: It's just been so long since I've heard that term. 197 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 1: What the funk about? This is funny to you? She 198 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: later apologized for that. Actually silent, we were so like, 199 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: what the hell is this? It was literally it was 200 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,079 Speaker 1: the worst day of my life. I was like, this 201 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: is the second miscarriage. I'm in a hospital. This doctor 202 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 1: is laughing in my face, and you have just been 203 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: touched and pushed and I'm just being pushed and b like, 204 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 1: what is going on. It was after that day that 205 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: I kind of had this moment of I didn't want 206 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 1: to have to work for it to have the baby, 207 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 1: because it was supposed to be the natural order. But 208 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 1: then I was like, but if you actually do want this, 209 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: you're going to have to work for it. And you 210 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 1: know what, a baby is a really serious thing and 211 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: you should have to work for it. You should have 212 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: to work for it because the baby is work. So 213 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,959 Speaker 1: if you're going to make this happen, do the deep 214 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: dive figure it out. My husband and I were like, 215 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,320 Speaker 1: we're going to find a naturropathic doctor. We're gonna like 216 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: get into this and try to figure out do we 217 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: need tests, what do we need? Let's investigate it because 218 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,079 Speaker 1: one time, okay, sure no one talks about it, but 219 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: it's very common. But to me at the time, it 220 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: wasn't very common because no one talks about it, so 221 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: I felt totally alone in that. You would think one 222 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, so you never hear I. 223 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,559 Speaker 1: When I told my mother or I had a miscarriage, 224 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: she was like, I've had a miscarriage. How are you 225 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 1: just telling me this? Why didn't you ever tell me that? 226 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: Because in that it would help to know, it would 227 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: help him. But look at this, you you going through 228 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: it and you posting about it as much as we 229 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: can shoot on social media? Is that and the other thing? 230 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: There are some real moments of connectivity? Yeah, and information. Yeah, 231 00:13:27,679 --> 00:13:30,599 Speaker 1: when you posted that you are now your son is 232 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 1: a rainbow baby and you've had two miscarriages, I just 233 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: was like, Yeah, people should fucking know this. What did 234 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 1: it end up being an epistop and episcopic pregnancy? Endyscopic? 235 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: Let's look that up, guys. We're learning a lot today. 236 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 1: I have forgotten so like when I was pregnant, I 237 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 1: was like I know about this, I know about this, 238 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,760 Speaker 1: I'm reading about this and that, and now I'm like, 239 00:13:55,960 --> 00:14:01,319 Speaker 1: what did brain is gone? What happened? Endyscopic ignancy detect 240 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: and and and hock topic E C T O P 241 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: I C. It was not okay. Pregnancy was usually diagnosed 242 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 1: by carrying out a transmaginal ultrasound scam. This involved bah 243 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: bah okay, great so EC topic It was not that, 244 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: it was not that, but I still had a horrible 245 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: day at the hospital, and that was the last time. 246 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm never rushing at the hospital ever again. 247 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: I'm not to have a second d n C. No 248 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: I at that time, I had to do the method 249 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: trek sate shots since there was there there was no sack. 250 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: There was there was literally no sign of anything. But 251 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: I kept optimists. I kept peeing on sticks. I bought 252 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: so many pregnancy tests. I just kept peeing on it. 253 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: And I'm like, but it says I'm pregnant. This is 254 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 1: the proof right here. Um and yeah. And that's the 255 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: other horrible thing that you don't like when you have 256 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: a miscarriage. It's so it takes the body so long 257 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: to accept that it's not pregnant and flush out those 258 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: hormones and write reulate itself. The body is magical the 259 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 1: way it can do that. But I was like, I 260 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: didn't like the weight me either. I was like, I 261 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: want to fix this. I'm such a fixer and I'm freaking. 262 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: It's like I remember after my miscarriage, I had a 263 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: DNC also, which for you guys listening, it's essentially like 264 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 1: you get put under anesthesia and I think it's like 265 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: a thirty minute procedure but they go up there and 266 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 1: scrape everything out of there are all the cells out 267 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: and all that. But it can take a while for 268 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,240 Speaker 1: you to get a period back and to get your 269 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,960 Speaker 1: cycle back, which is required in order for you to 270 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: get pregnant again or to start trying or knowing when 271 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,640 Speaker 1: you're ovulating again. It took me like three months to 272 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 1: even get a period back, so I felt out of 273 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: my fucking mind because I had no cycle. So I 274 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 1: just felt like how you feel before you get your period, 275 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: and then you get your period and there's like a 276 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 1: release hormonally. For three months, I felt a fucked up. 277 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: But yeah, it's a big waiting game. And then some 278 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: depending on how far long you were, how your d 279 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: NC was, some obs even recommend like you waiting a 280 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 1: bunch of cycles to make sure your uterine wall is 281 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 1: really strong again because it gets kind of beat up 282 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 1: in a d NC. I was not about. I was like, no, like, 283 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: I want to have a baby right now. Yeah, you know. 284 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: My doctor was like, I don't know how to help 285 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: you with that, Like I recommend therapy, So tell me 286 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: about when you finally were able to carry your this 287 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: pregnancy happened. Yes, so we were actually we were in 288 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:42,400 Speaker 1: Austria and I didn't have like a huge thyroid thing. 289 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: The numbers weren't a range of normal, but my naturopathic 290 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:51,360 Speaker 1: doctor was like, they could be more optimal. So it's like, yeah, 291 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 1: you do like the whole like you're not drinking. I 292 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: cut like coffee and stuff, doing the brazil nuts and 293 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: put rubbing progester in on myself and I was like, 294 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 1: where this is going to happen. I like, I'm going 295 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: to will this into being and we're having sex like 296 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: it was our job. And that was so funny to 297 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: me because it was like I really don't want to 298 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,480 Speaker 1: lose the enjoyment and sex. And we were trying to 299 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: be so creative, fun to keep it hot, how to 300 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,120 Speaker 1: keep it hot fun. It was just like, look, I 301 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,919 Speaker 1: just need you to do this right now. Oh I 302 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,440 Speaker 1: have girlfriends that remained nameless. I hope that. I don't 303 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 1: know how long it took you guys, but it's pretty hard. 304 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: I have to say. I've had friends who it took 305 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 1: like years to get pregnant that we're literally like please 306 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 1: just like masturbate until the end and then just stick 307 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:52,119 Speaker 1: it in like and I'm just like, oh fuck, is 308 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: that hard. That's so hard. It's hard on a marriage, 309 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: hard on a relationship, hard on the why you're doing this, 310 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 1: It's it's hard, it's really hard. So you were keeping 311 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,640 Speaker 1: it fun. You were still in the fun zone. Two 312 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 1: on our best to keep it in the fun zone. 313 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,679 Speaker 1: And the third time was the charm. I felt so 314 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 1: lucky because like, yes, I did happen miscarriages which had 315 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: some traumatic events attached to them, with the getting pushed 316 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 1: around and laughed at things, Yeah, that was not great. 317 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, I was like, 318 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: there's so much that I didn't have to go through 319 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 1: that I know other women have had to go through, 320 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: and it made me feel like this is such a blessing. 321 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I was like, but it's 322 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,120 Speaker 1: not a competition, and I want to honor my experience 323 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,640 Speaker 1: because I was like, do I even share that it's 324 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,840 Speaker 1: a rainbow baby? What I went through wasn't as horrible 325 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,919 Speaker 1: as what other people have gone through, so maybe it 326 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,120 Speaker 1: doesn't count. That's when I was like, this is not 327 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: like the Trauma Olympics, Like you don't totally absolutely all 328 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,879 Speaker 1: things are true. Things are true, and what happens to 329 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: other girls suck, Like it's it's un all all suck it. 330 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: It can all be honored. And yeah, so it's the 331 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: start of your third pregnancy. How did you feel. Were 332 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 1: you terrified? I was so terrified. I was just like, 333 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: is it going to happen again? Takes away a lot 334 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: of the fun you don't jump right to like the 335 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: first time, where you're like first time, you're afraid. You're like, 336 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 1: holy sh it, this is terrifying. And then you're like, okay, wait, 337 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,520 Speaker 1: should we talk names? What if it's a boy, what 338 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,479 Speaker 1: if it's a girl, what are we doing? Look at 339 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 1: the month where it's due, like all this stuff. And 340 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 1: then once you have a miscarriage, you just that enjoyment 341 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 1: of planning. You're like, I don't know when I'm safe 342 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 1: to start daydreaming like that. And we were doing blood 343 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: tests to see like hCG levels and just asking ourselves 344 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 1: like is this real? And then even oh my god, 345 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,199 Speaker 1: like I'm in Austria, uh, and I'm going to have 346 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: an ultrasound because that's where we were, and it's the 347 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: first one and I'm terrified and I really just hate 348 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:14,160 Speaker 1: doctor's offices at this point also, and we go in 349 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 1: there and the woman you can only really speak German. 350 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 1: So I'm just like, so you're just like your husband 351 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,679 Speaker 1: speaks German though, right, he speaks German, but like you know, 352 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,400 Speaker 1: there's a lot of stuff that he doesn't know about. 353 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: So I didn't realize that she was asking him should 354 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: I do a pap smear as well? And he didn't 355 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: know what that was, and so he couldn't tell. He 356 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: couldn't ask me like do you need this thing? And 357 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,160 Speaker 1: he couldn't translate because he just didn't know. I don't 358 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: even know what the hell that is. And so she 359 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,640 Speaker 1: like comes in with the metal duck thing and I'm like, 360 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: what the what is what do you do? What is this? 361 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 1: And she proceeds to give me a pep smir and 362 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,679 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is not what we are here for. 363 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 1: I don't I like, tell me if there's a baby 364 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: in here? Wow? So did you have the baby in Austria? No, 365 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,000 Speaker 1: we had the baby here. And that was the thing 366 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 1: that clinched it, because we debated doing it in Austria, 367 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 1: but we were like, no, I need to be able 368 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 1: to communicate to whoever i'm interwing with. Yeah, that was 369 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 1: definitely the right call. I was like, why am I 370 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: getting a pap smere when I'm trying to get like 371 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:36,119 Speaker 1: a confirmation ultrasound, getting that confirmation seeing that image on 372 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 1: the ultrasound screen, no, I'm like, this could be real. 373 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 1: Was wonderful and terrifying all at the same time. Terrifying 374 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,719 Speaker 1: because it could easily go away, but wonderful because it's like, 375 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: there's our baby, and we've been waiting for you and 376 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 1: we worked so hard for you. And yes, So how 377 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: was the pregnancy. Oh, that was the other thing where 378 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,480 Speaker 1: I was like, this is so different. Did you enjoy 379 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: being pregnant those first three months? Or like those first 380 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:13,199 Speaker 1: three or four months horrible. I couldn't move, I was 381 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,439 Speaker 1: sobbing at everything. My husband would be like, let's go 382 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: for a walk, and I was like, you don't know 383 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 1: my pain. Why do you hate me? I had a breakdown, 384 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: like in the middle of feel different than the first Yeah, 385 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: the doctor kept saying like, the more sick you are, 386 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 1: like the stronger, better signs. It is better signs signs 387 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,920 Speaker 1: pointing to pregnancy. Yeah. I was throwing up so much 388 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 1: I thought I had h G. I couldn't and I 389 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:43,200 Speaker 1: would sit water and vomit. Asia, No, are you kidding? 390 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: I likes ten pounds at the top of yeah. And 391 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,720 Speaker 1: then I was terrified. I couldn't eat anything. I was like, 392 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: oh my god, this is gonna harm my baby, because 393 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 1: you're supposed to eat, like you have to be able 394 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 1: to eat something exactly. I was like, is are even 395 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: the prenatal vitamins going in? Probably not, but that's okay. 396 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: I was freaking out about that because I just couldn't 397 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: keep anything. My oh b had one baby. She had HD. 398 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,920 Speaker 1: She threw up so much her entire bregnancy, and she's 399 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,399 Speaker 1: like my daughter, and her daughter's six and wonderfully healthy, 400 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:20,159 Speaker 1: thank god. But she's like I survived on Seagram's ginger 401 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: ale and saltines. It's all she ate for ten months. 402 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. I couldn't even have a cracker. I 403 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 1: was like, I think I was like licking celery. I 404 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: was like, there's an All I wanted was cold. I 405 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 1: just I wanted cold stuff so badly, and then I 406 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 1: would just throw it up. And then when did you 407 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: make it past that? So the beginning was a rough ride. 408 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 1: Did it clear up? It didn't? Like the fourth I 409 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 1: shot a movie too. I went to London and shot 410 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: a movie. Oh my god, was your husband there with you. Yes, 411 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: he's always with me, especially at this time. Yes, yeah, 412 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,359 Speaker 1: I mean we're working during that time is not good. 413 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,880 Speaker 1: I was getting into in between three or four months 414 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:11,199 Speaker 1: and it was calming down the illness, and I'm like 415 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,720 Speaker 1: shooting this film and I'm not trying to share it 416 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: with anyone because we just weren't sharing with anyone because 417 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 1: we didn't know what was happening. Like I don't think 418 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: we told anyone until we were almost five months, because 419 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 1: then that's when it was like really coming out. I'm 420 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 1: not exploded. My body is changing, like there's something growing 421 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,679 Speaker 1: inside of here. Um. That was wild to like be 422 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:39,960 Speaker 1: on a set in COVID in London, which sure, are 423 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,520 Speaker 1: you terrified? I just I so enjoyed the film and 424 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 1: the people I was around for the film and they 425 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:53,159 Speaker 1: were like, yeah, it was Boxing day, Oh awesome fun comedy. 426 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:58,239 Speaker 1: You're not like being exactly. Yeah. They were treating us 427 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: so wonderfully, and it didn't know I was pregnant, and 428 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 1: every like everyone I was surrounded by was just like 429 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: cracking jokes, like we were laughing all the time. They 430 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 1: had great safety measures in place. I felt safe on 431 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: set and I felt and I was happy. Like the 432 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,160 Speaker 1: people that I was around, they were like just lifting 433 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: my heart up so much. But being in a city 434 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:25,680 Speaker 1: in a pandemic like London where it's just all shut down, 435 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,479 Speaker 1: like when I wasn't on set and I was just 436 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,480 Speaker 1: like in that apartment in London for my husband and 437 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,199 Speaker 1: I that was like, oh, this is a lot. And 438 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,120 Speaker 1: then I felt so bad for him because at least 439 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,720 Speaker 1: I would leave and go to set and have some engagement. 440 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 1: He would guard himself up to go to the market 441 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 1: to like get healthy things for me because he was 442 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,160 Speaker 1: making me my lunches and dinners and he was just 443 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,719 Speaker 1: like really trying to take care of what we were 444 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:55,399 Speaker 1: putting in my body for our baby. And then he 445 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 1: was just like trapped in this space. I'm like up 446 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,160 Speaker 1: to me. My husband's just like man of the century. 447 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 1: He like he takes such great care of me. He 448 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,199 Speaker 1: but like you're taking such great care of your baby, 449 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 1: like it's a big joint effort. So tell me, how 450 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 1: was your labor experience. It was wonderful. It was long. 451 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 1: It was very long. This long. No. I had had 452 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: a beautiful day. My my husband had gotten me this 453 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,720 Speaker 1: vaginal steaming box to use at home, I was at 454 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: thirty nine and three when my water exploded. I like 455 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,679 Speaker 1: to say I would do this vaginal steaming. It's like 456 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 1: you're sitting on this wood box and there's like just 457 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: herbs in a pot, just lightly steaming. It smells so good. 458 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,919 Speaker 1: It's I was like relaxing me time, just like sitting 459 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 1: comfortably meditatively. I'm steaming. I'm having a relaxing day. The 460 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 1: whole week before, I had started wearing adult diapers because 461 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: I was just in case, and I had been feeling 462 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,440 Speaker 1: really internal. I had stopped responding to any text messages. 463 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,880 Speaker 1: Or were you on like a proper maternity leave where 464 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 1: you were like, hey, everyone on my team, we're shutting 465 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,240 Speaker 1: down at a certain I didn't no, I didn't even 466 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 1: say anything. I just put my phone on silent and 467 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 1: I just was just like, yeah, I just became super antisocial. 468 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,359 Speaker 1: I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted 469 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: to be really internal. I gave no one any kind 470 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: of warning. I was just like, it's officially me time. 471 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: And I told myself that and proceeded forward. And that day, 472 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,359 Speaker 1: after my wonderful steaming, I was like, you know what, 473 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 1: I don't feel like putting this adult diaper on. I'm 474 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,159 Speaker 1: just gonna lay down in bed and take a nap naked. 475 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 1: Good for you, good for I just like and I 476 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: got in bed and I'm about to drift off to 477 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:57,400 Speaker 1: sleep when all of a sudden, water starts exploding out 478 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 1: of my body. It wasn't some like little trickle like. 479 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 1: It was like the dramatic movie theater. And I'm like, 480 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 1: the hell, what is what? I jump out of bed 481 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: and I swear it was like Niagara falls, like someone 482 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,159 Speaker 1: like throwing buckets out of me. And then I'm like, 483 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 1: stop standing here, ruining the floors. Go sit on the toilet, 484 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: and I'm like shouting for my husband and he can't 485 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 1: hear me, so I like text him like my water 486 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: has burst, and he comes. He runs upstairs and he's 487 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,159 Speaker 1: looking at me, and he's looking at the mess and 488 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 1: he's looking at the sheets, and he immediately starts taking 489 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: the sheets off the bed and throws them in the 490 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 1: wash and starts mopping the floor. I get into the shower, 491 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,120 Speaker 1: and originally my Duela was gonna come over that day 492 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 1: to do a little yoga session, and so he messages 493 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 1: her and she's like, do you guys still want me 494 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 1: to come over and like yes, and yeah, come over. 495 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 1: How about you come over and hang out? She's coming 496 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 1: over water breaks, And even within that, there are kind 497 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: of like time limits around how long you're allowed to 498 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: like legally labor with broken water. It can't be more 499 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: than twenty four exactly. And I was here for twenty 500 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 1: four hours, and I was like super in labor land. 501 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 1: We had gotten to like pushing stage. My midwife was like, 502 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: this is your body. Put your finger inside of yourself 503 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: and you will feel his head. And I could feel 504 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,960 Speaker 1: like he was on his way down, but something was happening. 505 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 1: He should have been descending more and he wasn't. He 506 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 1: was getting stuck and we didn't know what was going on. 507 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:56,320 Speaker 1: But I so desperately, like my eternal optimistics, I was like, 508 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna make this happen in because I really 509 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: wanted it in the water, and like we had the 510 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: pool set up and I'm like in there and I'm 511 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: like I want this to happen here. And my midwife 512 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 1: was just like, so we should drive to the hospital 513 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 1: now while we can before it has to become them 514 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 1: having to come and get you. We can either all 515 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 1: get in the car and go to the hospital in 516 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 1: like a loving way, or we keep trying it here 517 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 1: and it might end up that there we're going to 518 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,600 Speaker 1: have to do it in a more rushed exactly. We 519 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 1: don't want that, And I love how you worded that. 520 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: We can all get in the car and go in 521 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: a loving way, and that's exactly what it was. And 522 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 1: my Duela was like, your body is going to protect 523 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 1: itself and it's going to shut down your labor a 524 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 1: little bit while you're driving over, So prepare. I have 525 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: a lot of stairs in my house, so like just 526 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 1: getting down the stairs to the car, honey, fun. Oh god. 527 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 1: But then getting in the car, it was like it 528 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,360 Speaker 1: was true. My body was like, oh so we're not 529 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,719 Speaker 1: gonna We're not gonna do this right now. Okay, all right, 530 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: well to slow this down. Shop it a second. Yeah, 531 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,840 Speaker 1: we get to the hospital. I love my midwife so much. Normally, 532 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: like the doula would stay with you and go into 533 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,440 Speaker 1: the but my midwife just we had such a connection. 534 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,680 Speaker 1: She was like, I'm going to stay with you, and 535 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,719 Speaker 1: I just also trusted her so much. When you do 536 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: a home birth, you have all these backup plans for 537 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 1: all this. So we were situated. I had my hospital 538 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 1: midwife who was on the way to meet us there, 539 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 1: and my home midwife who was going with us. I 540 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: just felt protected with the people I had already chosen 541 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 1: to surround myself with changing environments. Look at this continuous 542 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:45,240 Speaker 1: gift and scenario though, of like your baby and journey 543 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:50,960 Speaker 1: has just been a constant having to change your pass. Yes, 544 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 1: it's such a valuable lesson in just learning how to surrender. 545 00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: What's parents like, yeah, surrender to me? Yeah, exactly. It's 546 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:06,040 Speaker 1: a constant practice in surrendering. And because I felt like 547 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,240 Speaker 1: I had this air protection around me, all my fears 548 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: around the hospital didn't immediately creep up immediately getting that epidural, 549 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 1: which was like, oh, this is really wonderful. I don't 550 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: want I couldn't do it. Like at a certain point 551 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 1: I tried, like I labored with both of mine by 552 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 1: myself for a shipload of hours, and then at some 553 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 1: point I was like, checkmate, I'm good. I don't want 554 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 1: to feel this anywhere. This is really bad for me. 555 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 1: I love that I felt like I had both of it. 556 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:45,000 Speaker 1: I did the laboring at home unmedicated. I know I 557 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: could have handled it, but there was something else going on. 558 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 1: I also had the epidural, and I was like, this 559 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:56,320 Speaker 1: is quite lovely and I'm tired, and I am so 560 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: tired and I needed to rest. I had always been 561 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: terrified out of the epidural because I have a fear 562 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 1: of needles. So the idea of that in my the 563 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 1: technician that did this epidural, I was like, God sent 564 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: you because I did not feel this at all, or 565 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: maybe I never thought. Maybe you're already feeling so much 566 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 1: by the time you feel that needle you don't. Yeah, 567 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 1: it was wonderful. I slept. I was so afraid of 568 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: like potos, and I was so afraid of just like 569 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 1: being forced into a C section. No one was trying 570 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:36,680 Speaker 1: to force me into anything. It was so like, no, 571 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,200 Speaker 1: we're gonna just see how this progresses and we're gonna 572 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 1: go with it. It was so much different than all 573 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 1: the fears you had, sort of it was And there 574 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,680 Speaker 1: was even a lovely nurse in the hospital that was like, hey, 575 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 1: I've done like spinning babies training. I'm just gonna keep 576 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: you moving while since you can't move here, I'm going 577 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,880 Speaker 1: to keep your legs moving. I was like, I felt 578 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 1: so taken care of it. It was so wonderful, and 579 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 1: because my midwife was there, she was like, this is okay, 580 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 1: you can do this, and I think it will be 581 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,960 Speaker 1: better for you to do this because it will help 582 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,359 Speaker 1: you to still have the vaginal birth you want to have. 583 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,920 Speaker 1: And Katie, oh my god. I pushed for four and 584 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:18,840 Speaker 1: a half hours for this baby. My water broke on 585 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,760 Speaker 1: a Tuesday. This baby did not come out till Thursday 586 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:28,000 Speaker 1: at four twelve am. And at one point my husband 587 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 1: was like, I have to go to the bathroom and 588 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 1: I was like, don't leave. You're gonna miss it. I 589 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:35,279 Speaker 1: had no concept of time. I was like, don't leave, 590 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:39,280 Speaker 1: and he's like, it has been two I was for 591 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:45,120 Speaker 1: four hours, but really it felt like and I had 592 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,600 Speaker 1: no there was no concept of time. But I just 593 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 1: remember thinking, like when I realized later, like when we 594 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,960 Speaker 1: started versus, when he emerged onto the scene with his 595 00:34:56,239 --> 00:35:00,279 Speaker 1: arm up here, so when he came out, his arm 596 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: was over his face, like his arm was like up here. 597 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,640 Speaker 1: His head came out and then all of a sudden, 598 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:11,320 Speaker 1: like the room shifted. They were like, oh, the body 599 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,160 Speaker 1: didn't just blue pop out. So the midwife had to 600 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 1: reach her. The hospital midwife just you know, the one 601 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 1: that was allowed to do it. Had to reach her 602 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:25,439 Speaker 1: hand in and grab his arm and then and pull 603 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 1: that up and then the rest of the body came out. 604 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 1: So that's why he didn't because he wasn't in the 605 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,399 Speaker 1: position wrapped in a sort of his arms were up 606 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,240 Speaker 1: above his head. Yeah, they call it compound presentation. Holy 607 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:53,359 Speaker 1: sh it, google that one. That's a fourth time now. 608 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: I love that again, anyone listening. Follow Asia on Instagram 609 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,800 Speaker 1: because if your mom, I just the times you post 610 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 1: some real realness on it, it's just amazing. And I 611 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 1: was so fucking impressed because a few days after labor, 612 00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:15,080 Speaker 1: you posted a picture of what your body looks like 613 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,320 Speaker 1: after you have a baby, which is the most wild 614 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:24,239 Speaker 1: fucking time. It's when your stomach has essentially become a 615 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:30,919 Speaker 1: deflated hollow. It's still really big, but it's empty in there, 616 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,640 Speaker 1: but your organs haven't gone back to where they go. 617 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 1: It's very weird. Your stomach looks so weird, and it 618 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:42,960 Speaker 1: is something I don't I haven't really seen photos of. 619 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:47,759 Speaker 1: And you looked so fucking beautiful and it was so 620 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 1: real and it was really a special thing to share. 621 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 1: I thought. But you see that belly that big, like 622 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,920 Speaker 1: empty belly that's hanging around. I mean I can remember 623 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,480 Speaker 1: after both my pregnancies, like rolling over in the middle 624 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 1: of night from one side to the other and still 625 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:08,040 Speaker 1: like throwing my big, big, empty watery doughey belly. It 626 00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:12,439 Speaker 1: like messes with you. It's like my husband was would 627 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,320 Speaker 1: be trying to take pictures of me and the baby 628 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,840 Speaker 1: and be like, oh, I don't like I don't I 629 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: don't like the way I look at it. And he 630 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:22,640 Speaker 1: was like, you will regret later if you don't have 631 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:27,239 Speaker 1: photos of you and are sorry in his small estate. Yeah, 632 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,759 Speaker 1: And I was like, you are right, And that's that 633 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,880 Speaker 1: is what led to that. I was like, I shouldn't 634 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 1: be like trying to hide this very racist and it 635 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,440 Speaker 1: made me realize, man, how often do you see an 636 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 1: image of a woman ever after she's had the baby 637 00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 1: with the baby? There's always the photo of you with 638 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 1: the baby baby, but like everything covered, hiding the artifact, 639 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:51,640 Speaker 1: this body that that has created all of this and 640 00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,239 Speaker 1: just and what is left behind. No, that's what was 641 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,400 Speaker 1: so wonderful about your post. It was so like, yeah, guys, 642 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,359 Speaker 1: that's what your body looks like after you've had a baby. 643 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:03,160 Speaker 1: It's my husband was like, wow, okay, you point to 644 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,160 Speaker 1: the extreme one. It was like, are you sure you? 645 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,840 Speaker 1: How is your postpartum experience like the first six weeks 646 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:14,239 Speaker 1: they were you in a love bubble? Were you an 647 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,839 Speaker 1: emotional roller coaster? Did you fall into the love you've 648 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,800 Speaker 1: never felt like? How did you feel like he was 649 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:23,160 Speaker 1: a stranger? We've heard it all. A friend of mine 650 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 1: actually said something really amazing to me. He said that 651 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,960 Speaker 1: someone had told him, don't be surprised if you don't 652 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,920 Speaker 1: love your baby at first. And at first I was 653 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,239 Speaker 1: like what not? Look? And then I had my baby 654 00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: and was like, what is this thing? Where did this 655 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: come from? This? There's a stranger here? And this is 656 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,719 Speaker 1: so weird because he'd been inside and can't you don't 657 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:54,399 Speaker 1: see him, and now he's outside and wants things. Breastfeeding 658 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 1: wasn't like super easy. He had a lip tie and 659 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,879 Speaker 1: we had to go to the dentist and they had 660 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,879 Speaker 1: to like snip And then it was better because I 661 00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,600 Speaker 1: was like, this is really painful. I don't know what's 662 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:11,239 Speaker 1: going on. I look, I've accomplished so much. If I 663 00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,840 Speaker 1: can't breastfeed, that's okay. Because I'd also listen to so 664 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 1: many podcasts about not everyone can so I was like, 665 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,960 Speaker 1: so I accessed it. If it can't happen, it's fine. 666 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,000 Speaker 1: We were able to. But like, now he has four 667 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: teeth and I'm like, okay, Hoby, if you bite me 668 00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:30,960 Speaker 1: one more time. Sweet. Breastfeeding is such a triggering It's 669 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,680 Speaker 1: a triggering conversation and I'm always like and to the 670 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 1: friends I've had, I'm like, fed is best. That is 671 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:40,760 Speaker 1: however you do it, feed your baby. They'll be fine, 672 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,920 Speaker 1: You'll be fine. I'm coming on the other side of it, 673 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:47,600 Speaker 1: which is my daughter is sixteen months and I'm still 674 00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:52,480 Speaker 1: breastfeeding her. I in my life thought I would ever 675 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,040 Speaker 1: do this or be one of these mothers, and now 676 00:39:55,120 --> 00:40:00,759 Speaker 1: I'm being judged for breastfeeding her too long. No oh, honey, 677 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:05,520 Speaker 1: welcome to motherhood. You're gonna be judged. You make. It's 678 00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:08,080 Speaker 1: really wild and I'm just like, I don't know. I 679 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:12,640 Speaker 1: she's my last baby and she really enjoys it, and 680 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,640 Speaker 1: it's really easy. In my schedule right now, I do 681 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 1: it twice today seven am seven pm. It's not bothering anybody, 682 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:21,480 Speaker 1: I like while harming her. Like, I'm like, breast milk 683 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 1: the ship is magical. After this, I've just been so like, 684 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 1: I will never judge anyone for anything ever again, Like 685 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,239 Speaker 1: if I see a mom, if I see a stay 686 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,279 Speaker 1: at home mom with a full time nanny, I'm like, yes, ma'am, 687 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,799 Speaker 1: get it. You deserve because I have been alone with 688 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,440 Speaker 1: my child all day and I wish I had someone 689 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:46,239 Speaker 1: with me. Speaking of how has your work life balance? 690 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 1: How what does your system look like right now? I 691 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:58,839 Speaker 1: did a film where we shot only night and that 692 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:04,719 Speaker 1: and my husband primary caretaker of our son. And that 693 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,960 Speaker 1: was hard. That was hard on the just with pumping, 694 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,080 Speaker 1: that was hard, with sleep, that was hard, with trying 695 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,319 Speaker 1: to see my child. It was I was like, I 696 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,280 Speaker 1: want to see my baby. I also want to sleep. 697 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 1: I just left to be at work in five hours. 698 00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:22,799 Speaker 1: Like that was. It is a beautiful project and I 699 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 1: love it and I don't regret a minute of it, 700 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,040 Speaker 1: but I was that I felt like a broken human. 701 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,279 Speaker 1: How old was your son? He was going to turn 702 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:35,080 Speaker 1: six months while I was shooting this, So yeah, so 703 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 1: that was intense. It's definitely been a negotiation. I do 704 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:42,520 Speaker 1: feel like I have a support system and it's great 705 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,720 Speaker 1: to be like somewhat coming out of COVID now, So 706 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:51,320 Speaker 1: how cool that your husband is your sole caretaker. Yeah, 707 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 1: like it's beautiful just the way he is, his approach, 708 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:59,319 Speaker 1: he's very like monostory is really like empowering him to 709 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:08,200 Speaker 1: be into pend and and it's just beautiful. It much 710 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:15,759 Speaker 1: And now your husband is white Austrian, you are black American? 711 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 1: What does has there been race conversations yet? Like like 712 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:26,239 Speaker 1: what's that sound like in your household? Oh? Just us 713 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:31,040 Speaker 1: being in a relationship of so many conversations around race 714 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:36,719 Speaker 1: and then yeah, with our son, so many conversations around race. 715 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,520 Speaker 1: When you have a child and you live in a 716 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:45,319 Speaker 1: country where regardless of what that mix is, the perception 717 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:50,560 Speaker 1: is like what does exactly he'll be perceived this black 718 00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:56,680 Speaker 1: most likely, like regardless, which is this very like antiquated 719 00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,160 Speaker 1: thing like when you really think about it, because it 720 00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,440 Speaker 1: was like it was that one drop, one drop of 721 00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,800 Speaker 1: blood from a black person automatically makes you black. I 722 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,799 Speaker 1: had actually had a friend who had talked about she's biracial, 723 00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:14,120 Speaker 1: she's black and Asian, and she like did this post 724 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,360 Speaker 1: about like I am a hundred percent black and a 725 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,320 Speaker 1: hundred percent Asian, like I'm not like a mix of percentages, 726 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:26,839 Speaker 1: And that really resonated with us. Yeah, because like from 727 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,319 Speaker 1: my husband when he growing up in Austria. For him, 728 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,440 Speaker 1: like you never had to mark a box like saying 729 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:37,319 Speaker 1: white right other exactly. And I hate the idea of 730 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,440 Speaker 1: like my child knowing others so weird. So it's like 731 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,960 Speaker 1: when he thinks of himself, he thinks like Austrian and 732 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 1: he's looking at his child like, you are also Austrian 733 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 1: and you're also American. You are all these two wants 734 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,080 Speaker 1: you to own all these things and you don't have 735 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:57,279 Speaker 1: to compartmentalize or separate or categorize. We can believe in 736 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:01,160 Speaker 1: that nuance and it can be okay, but there are 737 00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:04,800 Speaker 1: some realities that we of course have to talk about 738 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,360 Speaker 1: in terms of like his safety. Absolutely, yeah, we're going 739 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,839 Speaker 1: to have to have conversations about what the perception of 740 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 1: you in certain spaces means and how that can potentially 741 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:20,000 Speaker 1: affect your safety. It's like your mom, it's like, our 742 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,880 Speaker 1: job is to keep our children safe safe. It sucks, 743 00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,520 Speaker 1: and this is what it is. What's it like in Austria. 744 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,600 Speaker 1: So in Austria, and I think over the course of 745 00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,720 Speaker 1: the pandemic, there was a bit of a conversation around 746 00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,400 Speaker 1: that because like my husband always assumed it would be 747 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 1: safer for our child in Austria than here in the US, 748 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:45,640 Speaker 1: and to a degree that's true. But there are black Austrians, 749 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:50,399 Speaker 1: of course, and when you hear some of them talking 750 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:53,799 Speaker 1: about their experience of being asked where are you from? 751 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:59,439 Speaker 1: When you're Austrian living in Austria, it doesn't feel good. 752 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,719 Speaker 1: There is the sense of a feeling of having a 753 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,359 Speaker 1: target on your back no matter where in the world 754 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:08,920 Speaker 1: you are, like you're not meant to belong there because 755 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,000 Speaker 1: people are used to that space being occupied solely by 756 00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 1: white people. And I think that was a bit of 757 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,279 Speaker 1: an education for us Bose. We don't want him to 758 00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:20,000 Speaker 1: have that feeling of other hood, of just not being 759 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,880 Speaker 1: counted as a part of something, which can also just 760 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,880 Speaker 1: mess with your psyche because he is austra And that's 761 00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,120 Speaker 1: why it's important for us to be in both places 762 00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:31,200 Speaker 1: and time in send time in both places, for him 763 00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:34,160 Speaker 1: to be able to speak German, like my husband only 764 00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:38,840 Speaker 1: speaks to him in German. How lovely. I love that. 765 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:44,839 Speaker 1: I love that. I'm working on my German too. If 766 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:48,319 Speaker 1: anyone can do it, I can do it. My last 767 00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:53,080 Speaker 1: and final question is parenthood is Oh, we've hit on 768 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:56,200 Speaker 1: some good ones, which is parenthood is surrender? Surrender? I 769 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:59,960 Speaker 1: love that. I think surrender is like the word. I've 770 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:03,239 Speaker 1: might get that tattooed on my body, so can I 771 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:08,960 Speaker 1: join you in that. Let's get sister tattoos. I'm gonna 772 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:12,080 Speaker 1: come fucking visit you in Austria, which I've never been to, 773 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:18,200 Speaker 1: and I would love beautiful, so beautiful bananas, how beautiful. 774 00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:21,960 Speaker 1: I love Austria so much, and I would love to 775 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:26,600 Speaker 1: just have you on next year another season because I 776 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:29,440 Speaker 1: would love to hear about how parenting is going to 777 00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,239 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I want to hear 778 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,319 Speaker 1: you're still in the baby stages where the thing is 779 00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,480 Speaker 1: not I'm really curious what you think of two and 780 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:41,319 Speaker 1: three because you and I are very similar. Practicing of 781 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:48,880 Speaker 1: surrendering with a toddler is quite the journey in exploration. Yes, 782 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:54,480 Speaker 1: I love that exactly. Yes, thank you for coming on 783 00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,560 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib, Asia. I adore you and I'm just so 784 00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:00,520 Speaker 1: happy for you in every way shape and I'm so 785 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:04,360 Speaker 1: happy for you. Thank you for having me, so wonderful 786 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,440 Speaker 1: to see you, sending you in your beautiful family so 787 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:16,280 Speaker 1: much love always. Thank you guys so much for listening 788 00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:19,880 Speaker 1: to today's episode. I want to hear from you. Let's 789 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,360 Speaker 1: chat questions, comments, concerns. Let me know. You can always 790 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:29,200 Speaker 1: find me at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com. 791 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,640 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda Land Audio in 792 00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,160 Speaker 1: partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shandoland Audio, 793 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,920 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 794 00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:39,280 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.