1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of two and soon to be three 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,159 Speaker 1: and a practicing physician. We are two working parents who 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,479 Speaker 1: love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of 6 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to episode one. Today 10 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:37,559 Speaker 1: we're going to be talking on how each of us 11 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 1: decided to have more than two kids, with some musings 12 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 1: on what that's like now from me Laura, and what 13 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 1: the future holds from Sarah, because Sarah is expecting her 14 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: third child in December, Right, Sarah, that's right. I'm currently 15 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: in that sweet spot of the second trimester twenty three 16 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: weeks awesome. But speaking of the future, both of us 17 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: are kind of focused done the near future right now 18 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,560 Speaker 1: of school starting. When is that coming up for you? 19 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: For us? We start in about a week and a 20 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: half for my daughter who will be entering her first 21 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 1: real year of school in kindergarten and my son starts 22 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: a week after that with just another year of pre K. 23 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: What about you, Yeah, we're starting after Labor Day. I 24 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: think a lot of the schools in the North start 25 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: after Labor Day, and more Southern schools start earlier than that. 26 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: But I've actually been spending a bunch of time this 27 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: week designing my activity spreadsheet for the coming year, which 28 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: I know you also had to put together quite an 29 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: activity schedule of like after school stuff, right, absolutely, Yeah, 30 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 1: it's such a regional thing. I feel like all the 31 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: southern schools are already ready to go, and up North, 32 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: it's like, oh, that's forever from now. But it's true 33 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: the activity stuff starts early because you got to get 34 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: your sign up SIN while they're available. You got to 35 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: get the sign up SIN. I know I had to 36 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: put in a sign up for gymnastics before the first 37 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: choice was sold out, and that's always a problem when 38 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: I'm coordinating everyone's schedules when your your first choice isn't there. 39 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 1: But you were introduced this year to the fun of 40 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: the school supply shopping. Yeah, the school supply shopping was 41 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: eye opening for me. I was used to the preschool 42 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: thing where you just drop your kid off and kind 43 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: of don't worry about much else. But we received an 44 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: item list with more than twenty nine things, many of 45 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: them in triplicate, and more with specific brand names. So 46 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: that was rather intimidating. Why was it specific brand names? 47 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: You know? I cut deal with Creola somewhere. Yeah, I'm 48 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: not exactly sure. But then I actually found out that 49 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: a lot of people ignore the brand name parts, so 50 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: it became a lot easier after I figured that part out. Yeah, no, 51 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,519 Speaker 1: that's good. I guess the only reason I could see 52 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,359 Speaker 1: that is some my kindergarteners class actually pooled a lot 53 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: of supplies, and so maybe if they just wanted everyone 54 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: to have the same thing, and that's exactly it. And 55 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: you know how when you're dolling out items to five 56 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 1: year olds, if there are subtle differences that could actually 57 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: spark like World War or three, and it'd be riots 58 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: in the kindergarten classroom. Yeah, so did you come up 59 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 1: with the cool backpack though? Because that is the key, 60 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: you know, I have. We still have to go backpack shopping, 61 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: and we might go today because I'm off today, so 62 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about taking my daughter. That's good, Yeah, that 63 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: is I gotta say, that's the thing. The kid has 64 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: got to pick out themselves. And every year, my seven 65 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: year old wants to choose a cartoon backpack of some variety, 66 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: and of course those are the cheapy ones. Like finally, 67 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: my ten year old has acquiesced to getting like a 68 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: real backpack that will stay together for the whole year. 69 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: I guess at seven, you still got to get your 70 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: Pokemon or teenage sent to Turtles or whatever it is. Yeah, 71 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: I can sense some trolls or descendants action in my 72 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: immediate future. What are you guys actually doing for activities 73 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: this year? We're doing a lot. I didn't quite make 74 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: it spreadsheet because my style is more analog than you, Laura, 75 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: so I wrote it all down on paper. But we 76 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: have a lot of stuff going on. I've got both 77 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: kids doing jims, they're both doing swimming. There's some after 78 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: school activities. There are really just an hour after school, 79 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: so they sort of don't even count in my opinion, 80 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: because they just make the day end at three. And 81 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: Annabelle's doing drama and also clay modeling, and then she 82 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: also has ballet on Saturdays, and then Cameron has basketball 83 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: and soccer, so it's a lot. I feel like they 84 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: each have one or two things every single day, so 85 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 1: I probably overdid it, but I also figured I better 86 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: let them do what they want now because I felt 87 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: like in the spring, once we have the new baby, 88 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 1: things might have to be dialed down a bit. What 89 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:42,799 Speaker 1: about you guys, Well, we're doing oh my goodness, swim, karate, gymnastics. 90 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 1: But all those things sort of take a lot of 91 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: time in the sense that they're multiple times per week. 92 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,599 Speaker 1: As the kids get into more like competitive swim and 93 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: stuff like that, then you have multiple practice. That's a 94 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: big kid thing. I feel like, ah, the little kid 95 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: things are just once a week. Yeah, but it it'll 96 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 1: be fine. I mean, the spreadsheet. You can laugh about 97 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,359 Speaker 1: it if you want, but it's it makes sense, like 98 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:09,359 Speaker 1: you because I can see then where people need to 99 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: be at certain times, and you know, it's this whole 100 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 1: intricate puzzle of making sure I'm protecting my work time, 101 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: and so I'm trying to make sure there's not too 102 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: many times where we need more than one driver. So 103 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: you know, our nanny can do most of it. But yeah, 104 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,040 Speaker 1: it's good times, which which brings us to our main 105 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: segment today, which the thing with larger families is it 106 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: does become this intricate puzzle of who needs to be 107 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:44,479 Speaker 1: where when, and there's a lot more logistics involved. And 108 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: yet both of us did decide to go for the 109 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,159 Speaker 1: bigger family. I guess we both decided it was going 110 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: to be doable. So since you're more recently into this decision, 111 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: what was your thought process us with that? Well, deciding 112 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: to have my second child was a no brainer. And 113 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this before. You know, society 114 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: kind of isn't that surprised when people go from one 115 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: to two children, but the two to three is a 116 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: much bigger jump. I didn't initially think we were going 117 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: to go for it. I was pretty happy we had 118 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 1: our girl and our boy, but somehow, just about a 119 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: you know, when he turned close to three, I could 120 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,359 Speaker 1: not let go of the idea of a third kid. 121 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: And it wasn't necessarily like, oh, this is a great idea, 122 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: my life will be fantastic with three kids. It was 123 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,840 Speaker 1: more the idea that if I didn't do it then 124 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: I felt like I'd have a lot of regret and 125 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: I just emotionally couldn't let go of the idea. I 126 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 1: guess to make a long story short, we went for it. 127 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: It didn't take terribly long, which I'm really grateful for. 128 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: My first took a really long time. And we're doing December, 129 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: so I'm actually really excited to have a few more 130 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: years of buffer between my second and my third compared 131 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: to when I was dealing with my first two together 132 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: and they were Actually I had the fun two under 133 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,240 Speaker 1: two for a little while, which is really really hard. Yeah, 134 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: so now everyone's out of diapers and into school and 135 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: you've got that, and I guess that's a plus minus exactly, Like, 136 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: I don't really remember what that's like, and I'm gonna 137 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: have to dive back in. But I mean, we've talked 138 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: about this too. It's you have this perspective now of 139 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: how transient it is, whereas when you have that first kid, 140 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: you feel like this is the new normal forever, and 141 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 1: it's very hard to wrap your head around the fact that, well, 142 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: this is the new normal for a year and then 143 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 1: the next year is something different, and then it's a 144 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: continuing evolution after that. And to me, I've really enjoyed 145 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: it more the older my kids have gotten. And that's 146 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: why I don't think when I had two under two, 147 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: I had any thoughts of having more, And yet now 148 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: when I'm picturing like three school age kids, I'm just 149 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: really really excited about the future. Yeah, I mean that's 150 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: the thing I've found. Big kids are so much fun 151 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: and they have their issue is obviously. I mean there's 152 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: a lot of drama involved in homework battles and such, 153 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: but they're kind of fun to hang out with. And 154 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: you know, I have this little guy who's too and 155 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: he's different from that, and it's just a very different 156 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: form of care and it's a hard age and those 157 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: first few years are really really tough, and I think 158 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: a lot of people decide not to go through it 159 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: again because we do get so scarred by those early years. 160 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 1: But maybe the more you have more children you have, 161 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 1: the more you do see that it's just, yeah, the 162 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: first two years are going to be hard. I mean, right, 163 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: that's you're you're prepared for it this time around, you know, 164 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:49,840 Speaker 1: absolutely happen. I track my time and I've looked at 165 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: those first two years with my fourth kid. Yeah, there's 166 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff you forget, like the six nursing 167 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 1: sessions per day or seven, and being woken up in 168 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:06,199 Speaker 1: the middle of the night and it's not really fun. 169 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,320 Speaker 1: But then I kind of wish you tracked your time before, 170 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: because I'd love to see a comparison of what it 171 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,319 Speaker 1: was like when they were all, say, over the age 172 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: of three, versus having your little one. I think that 173 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: would have been really interesting. Yeah, but there were only 174 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: about six months in that beautiful window when everyone was 175 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: over three and potty trained, and you know, I have 176 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: memories of it in that I had more control over 177 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: my mornings. I could get up and do stuff, I 178 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 1: could go outside by myself and trust that everyone was 179 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: going to keep the house from Yeah, there was not 180 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,200 Speaker 1: going to be death inside where I have no guarantee 181 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 1: on that with my two year old. But some of 182 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:54,559 Speaker 1: that is just kid specific too, because I did track 183 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 1: my time for a week when my daughter, who's my 184 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: third kid, was about two and a half, which is 185 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: right before I got pregnant with number four. You know, 186 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: there there was obviously a lot of kids stuff going on, 187 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: But I did have some control over the mornings then too, 188 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,719 Speaker 1: And I think it's she slept better than hated, and 189 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: so that's just you never know what you're gonna get. 190 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: It's kind of yes, that part is so true, and 191 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: I love the perspective that you have that they're going 192 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: to be different and it may not be about anything 193 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 1: that you're doing because you got the same environment and 194 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: the same parents and that yet sometimes wildly different outcomes 195 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 1: wildly different. But you know, it's are you how many 196 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 1: kids were in your family growing up? I mean, what 197 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,840 Speaker 1: did you sort of see as the I just have 198 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: one younger sister, and to be honest, I would have 199 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: loved to have at least one more. I think with 200 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: the two of us we didn't really have that big 201 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: group mentality, and I think we could have used some 202 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 1: diffusion of some of the attention for my parents, so 203 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,439 Speaker 1: I actually would have enjoyed some extras in the mix. 204 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: But yeah, I just had the experience of the one sister. 205 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: My husband, however, is one of three, and they had 206 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: a beautiful family experience growing up, so that might have 207 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 1: shaped some of our decision making process. Yeah, I'm one 208 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: of three, although my older brother and younger brother are 209 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 1: both quite a bit far apart from me. But because 210 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,959 Speaker 1: I think I never saw two as the norm, I 211 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: think I probably saw three more as the norm. And 212 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: my husband is actually one of four, so he probably 213 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 1: saw that more as the norm and his mom is 214 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: one of five. My father is one of five, so 215 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 1: we certainly have bigger families in our extended family experience, 216 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,120 Speaker 1: and I guess I sort of always liked the idea 217 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: of having lots of us around the Thanksgiving table in 218 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,079 Speaker 1: the future, and so that's what I've kind of kept 219 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 1: my eye on, especially as we've gone through some pretty 220 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: rough times with the littlest kid being a bit of 221 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: a terror and all. Always. But you know it's my 222 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: Have you gotten like flack from people at all for 223 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 1: going I haven't, I really haven't. I was just gonna add, 224 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: because I thought about it when you said it, that 225 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: my job has given me a unique perspective too, Like 226 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: I get to see families of all shapes and sizes. 227 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: I have a one family of patients where they have 228 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: a twelve year old and a fourteen year old, and 229 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,719 Speaker 1: then they had a second marriage and they have a 230 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: two year old and the mom just had another one, 231 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,079 Speaker 1: and so I really do get to see this unique 232 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: spectrum of what it looks like with two and what 233 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 1: it looks like when they're older, and what it looks 234 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: like when they're babies. And I think because I didn't 235 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: have that family experience, that dimension or that perspective has 236 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 1: sort of allowed me to look past those first very 237 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: difficult years and think farther ahead. So I think that 238 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 1: really helped me too. Yeah. No, I mean I feel 239 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 1: like we got some flack for a number three. Well, 240 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: we were living in New York City when I got 241 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: pregnant three, and it's very much like having that third 242 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: is kind of a crazy thing when you're there, and 243 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: we did wind up leaving the city, So maybe there's 244 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: something to that. But you know, a lot of people 245 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: would be like, well, you're contributing to overpopulation. I mean, 246 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 1: sometimes saying it in a nicer way than that, but 247 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 1: you know, well, then I've heard from other people it's like, well, 248 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: we're not going to have children, so it'll be like 249 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: a carbon trading scheme, right, like you can have ours. No, 250 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: that's actually well, I was thinking about that. I did 251 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: get one comment on my blog where someone did write 252 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,240 Speaker 1: something about how it was interesting that I had decided 253 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,679 Speaker 1: to choose to have a third when I was aware 254 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:29,200 Speaker 1: about you know, I was talking about how we recently 255 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: had a flood and environmental concerns where we live, but 256 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,079 Speaker 1: then my mind went to the fact that of my 257 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: very of my close college friends. Actually this is a 258 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: little unusual, but I'm actually the only one of the 259 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: six of us with any kids right now. I have 260 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: another one that's pregnant with her first And if you 261 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 1: actually look at population statistics, we're not in a baby 262 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 1: boon right now. We're actually at one of the lower 263 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: fertility rates we've seen in a long time in the 264 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: United States. So that made me feel a lot better. Yeah. Also, 265 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,959 Speaker 1: I don't think your third kid is going to be 266 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,559 Speaker 1: responsible for the Miami flooding. I'm just going to throw 267 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: that how they're probably not. I would be really happy 268 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 1: if my third kid becomes an engineer that somehow, you know, 269 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: stops exactly. That would be my greatest hope. But I 270 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: really found that, like you know, people kind of the 271 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,079 Speaker 1: more kids you have, people like, oh, that's crazy, I 272 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 1: don't know how you do it. I've really found that 273 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 1: zero to one was the tough thing. That was the 274 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 1: lifestyle change, that was the we're not going to brunch 275 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: for a couple of years here a moment in your life. 276 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: Whereas two to three is not that crazy, three to 277 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 1: four is just like more juggling. I mean, is that 278 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: what you found absolutely. I felt like one zero to 279 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 1: one was really hard for me. And I do think 280 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 1: there's this temptation when you have your first to think, oh, 281 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: I can totally cram my old life in with the kid, 282 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: and then there's this sort of slow realization over the 283 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: first six months to a year that no, it's never 284 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: going to be the same again. And then comes acceptance 285 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: and once you've gotten to that place where you're a 286 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: parent and your life is about your children and family. 287 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: I didn't really find that adding more to the mix 288 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 1: made things all that much difficult. Now, I'm not saying 289 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: that like I'm loving pumping. You know. That's something we'll 290 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: talk about, and the early years are really hard, but 291 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 1: I felt like zero to one was harder than one 292 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 1: to two. And maybe I'm overly optimistic, but I'm actually 293 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: less nervous about adding this one to the mix because 294 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 1: A I feel like I know what I'm doing. B 295 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: I'm already in that parent place and see, I'm not 296 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: gonna have a toddler that I'm dealing with while I'm 297 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: dealing with an infant like I did the second time around. Yeah, 298 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 1: you totally you already have the family car like you 299 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: guys already have your childcare arrangement. I mean, you're not 300 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 1: even really gonna have to change that. There are some 301 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: economies of scale with that. We actually do need a 302 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: car because my prius is not going to fit all 303 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: through cars. But that's okay. We have plans global warming already, 304 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 1: so exactly good. And I've earned my third a third 305 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: kid by having the prius in it. I want to 306 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 1: just go off on a tangent here because I'm sure 307 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: you're gonna get people telling you this when you're going 308 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 1: to three, people like, oh, you're switching from man on 309 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: man to zone defense, right, I hate that. Oh my goodness, 310 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 1: have you noticed it is only men who say that. 311 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: It is totally men. It's because that's from their perspective. 312 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: We're like, we're off in zone. We're good at zone already. 313 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're thinking about. Number two was born, okay, 314 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: And you can tell a guy who's like, not had 315 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: a whole lot of solo time with his two kids 316 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 1: when they have a third, and that's when he's saying, like, 317 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: we're going to zone defense from man on man's because yes, 318 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: every time you've been home at nights and on weekends 319 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 1: each of you has had a kid, but your wife 320 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: had the kids more time than that, and so yeah, 321 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 1: from her perspective, we've already figured out the zone thing. 322 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: That's one of those little pet peeves of mine. Do 323 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: you find that the more kids you have, the more 324 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: there is is sort of responsibility taken equally from both 325 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: parents just by necessity to a degree? I mean, certainly we, 326 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: you know, need a lot of extra help to my 327 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 1: My husband travels a lot for work, and I travel 328 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: some too. I do a lot of speeches in various places. 329 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 1: So for that we we need a really good childcare 330 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: setup that can accommodate overnight trips and the fact that 331 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: kids need to be lots of different places at different times. 332 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:33,440 Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean you can't on weekends. It does 333 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,440 Speaker 1: wind up being a lot of like He'll take two 334 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 1: of them and I'll take two of them, or or 335 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: often it may be that he takes the big three 336 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: and I take the little guy. That tends to be 337 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: a good split for doing things. But you know, neither 338 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 1: parent exactly gets a whole lot of weekend downtime when 339 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 1: there when there are four of them, all that we 340 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 1: do try to use the littlest ones nap to tell 341 00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: the other kids go have some screen time or go read. 342 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:05,239 Speaker 1: Will you know, all reconvene when he's back up, and 343 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 1: then well we'll deal with it then. So that's that's 344 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: a good way to get a little bit of peace 345 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 1: on weekends with that many. I'm not expecting that much 346 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,879 Speaker 1: peace for the first Yeah, no it's not. But that's 347 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 1: you know. I'm curious that you think about your career though, 348 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,959 Speaker 1: because an another thing. I think a lot of professional 349 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: women feel like each kid has the risk of being 350 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 1: a hit to your career, and on some level, I 351 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: again feel like, well, once you've done one, you've already 352 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: taken if you're going to take a hit, which I 353 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: don't think you have to take a hit, but if 354 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: you are going to, you may have taken it after 355 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: you've figured out how to build your career with one. 356 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: Adding a second, adding a third is just more juggling. 357 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: It's not that you haven't figured out how to do it. 358 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: I agree. Plus, actually, more kids sometimes tends to force 359 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 1: you to streamline things even more so that I have 360 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: colleagues with one kid where they may actually bring their 361 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: kids in. But since that's like not going to ever 362 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,480 Speaker 1: be a reality with the number of kids. In the 363 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: ages of kids I have, I would not do that. 364 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 1: So that's an instance in which I probably have well 365 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 1: I do. I have processes in place and sort of 366 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: safety nets I guess of childcare that might actually be 367 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: advantageous compared to someone who really wouldn't need to throw 368 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 1: that together with one kid. Yeah, and I know that 369 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 1: my childcare arrangements have definitely gotten better over the years 370 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: as we've had more kids, and it's partly that I 371 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: feel probably better about having it, like it feels less 372 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 1: like it's just you know, me not doing something. And now, 373 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 1: at least probably a quarter of the time we have 374 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: childcare hours i'm with a kid. It's just I'm with 375 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,640 Speaker 1: one of them while somebody else is with another kid, 376 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,480 Speaker 1: you know, the rather rest of the kids are something, 377 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: so that makes it possible. And I wouldn't have done 378 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:55,199 Speaker 1: that with one kid, because it wouldn't have really made sense. 379 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,640 Speaker 1: But because of that, it's it's made life a lot 380 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 1: more smooth with for And I can't speak to what 381 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 1: the experience would be like with just one kid, but 382 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 1: I do feel like having more than one. When I 383 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,600 Speaker 1: do have childcare to cover one, it really does feel 384 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,359 Speaker 1: like a treat and like this intimate experience with the 385 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 1: one kid that I don't normally have, so I actually 386 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 1: feel like I appreciate it more when those times do occur. Yeah, 387 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: and that has been a big thing for me, having 388 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 1: to build in one on one time with the older kids, 389 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: especially when we have this younger kid who needs a 390 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,360 Speaker 1: lot of attention. And so we've done a couple of things. 391 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 1: I mean, one is that I try to do these 392 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 1: like mommy days every summer where I take one day 393 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,440 Speaker 1: and I don't work and I go do something special 394 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,880 Speaker 1: with each of the big kids. So that's three days 395 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,119 Speaker 1: in the course of the summer, and those have been 396 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 1: really cool. We've gone to amusement parks for the most part, 397 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 1: and you just get to hang out with the kid 398 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,159 Speaker 1: and chat with them, and whatever they want to do 399 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,480 Speaker 1: is cool. Like if one kid wants to do arcade 400 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: games for two hours, it's fine. You're not dealing with 401 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: everyone else saying come on, we gotta leave, we gotta 402 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,919 Speaker 1: go do something else. I totally love that idea and 403 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,399 Speaker 1: I'm definitely going to copy it. Yeah, I have a 404 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: friend that does it on a smaller scale. She's a 405 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,200 Speaker 1: stay at home mom. With three boys, and she'll often 406 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 1: take one of the older two out for dinner alone 407 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: and the dad will, you know, put the other two 408 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 1: to bed, and she has these lovely intimate conversations and 409 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,680 Speaker 1: it just sounds so nice. It does, and I think 410 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 1: that but it has. It's good for us because we 411 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 1: have multiple kids. I think if you were just a 412 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: parent of one child, like you spend so much time 413 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 1: with that kid anyway, that it doesn't have that sort 414 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: of special flavor to it as much. And you know, 415 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 1: I guess it needs to be at least somewhat rare 416 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 1: to be cool. Yeah, the novelty fact, novelty factor is key, 417 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: but I also try to get some of that with 418 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: just I mean, one of the reasons I work the 419 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: schedule I do. I can usually do some of the 420 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: kids shuttling in the late afternoon with activities, and that 421 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,400 Speaker 1: has been good for getting one kid in the car 422 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: and then you get to have those conversations with that 423 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: one kid. And I usually if I'm hanging out at 424 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,199 Speaker 1: the activity, I'll answer emails or read so I'm not 425 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 1: wasting that time. But then you get the time in 426 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,440 Speaker 1: the car and have good conversations with them. And also 427 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 1: kind of trying to put the kids to bed semi individually, 428 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 1: you wind up getting a few minutes of one on 429 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 1: one time with them as well. Yes, although my two 430 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,120 Speaker 1: were going to be sharing a room once we have 431 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 1: all three, so that won't be quite as individual. But 432 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,600 Speaker 1: I have to figure out how to make it work 433 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 1: so they each get someone in one time at night, 434 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: because right now we do it that way and it's 435 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 1: really nice. Cameron gets his three year old level books 436 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 1: and then Annabelle gets read to, you know, her chapter 437 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,959 Speaker 1: books that are probably he would be bored by. So 438 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,960 Speaker 1: we really like that. Yeah, so I think we've both 439 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,679 Speaker 1: found that it's it's fine to go for the bigger family. 440 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 1: But we probably started off kind of feeling that way. 441 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,960 Speaker 1: But you know, I think if you want to do it, 442 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: if you want to make it work, it can work. Yeah. 443 00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 1: I'm really excited to see how it unfolds for us, 444 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: but I'm really optimistic looking forward to it. So now 445 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 1: we're going to do a segment where we each talk 446 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,680 Speaker 1: about what we're loving. Now we're going to do some 447 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 1: shout out to strategies or products or services that really 448 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 1: work for us make life possible. Right now, Sarah, you 449 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,160 Speaker 1: go first, and we've decided that no love is too 450 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: big or too small for this segment. So my personal 451 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: love this week is long sleeve swim shirts. Very exciting, right, 452 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 1: but seriously, we never use them before. We bought them 453 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: this year and it has greatly reduced the amount of 454 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 1: sunscreen I have to apply to each kid, which makes 455 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,880 Speaker 1: me way happier and I feel like they provide better protection. 456 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 1: And since I am pregnant and don't necessarily need to be, 457 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: you know, showing off my goods at the pool with 458 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 1: all the kids. I love being able to put on 459 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 1: a zip up shirt and not feel self conscious. So 460 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 1: you could totally show off the goods. I could, but 461 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: maybe I don't want to. We love those too, no, 462 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 1: I mean they it saves so much time and you're 463 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,679 Speaker 1: not worried about the kid getting SUNBURNTO my love of 464 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 1: the week, and this is combined with a public service announcement. 465 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 1: Here tsa pre check. Oh my goodness. Last week I 466 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,359 Speaker 1: traveled to Nashville to give a speech. I show up 467 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 1: at the airport about an hour before my flight, which 468 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,879 Speaker 1: is what I normally aim for. If I did not 469 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 1: have pre check, I would have missed my flight. The 470 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:30,160 Speaker 1: lines were down the hall. It was amazing. I've never 471 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 1: seen them all the way past. They were getting people 472 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: off the people mover and then moving them all the 473 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 1: way back to the beginning of the people mover. Basically, 474 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,919 Speaker 1: it was that bad. And here's the thing. If you 475 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,679 Speaker 1: don't have pre check, which the TSA go, you have 476 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: an appointment. A lot of airports have a place where 477 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 1: you can do this or otherwise you can go to. 478 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: They have sometimes offices and like shopping centers and things 479 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,359 Speaker 1: like that to show that you are a trustworthy person 480 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 1: and all that good stuff. But the thing is you 481 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,159 Speaker 1: probably are in an airport line thinking oh I should 482 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 1: get this, and then you go on your trip and 483 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,479 Speaker 1: maybe the way back it's not as bad, and you say, oh, 484 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: well it's you know, gonna take effort to go do it. 485 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 1: Just go do it. You will thank yourself so much 486 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 1: the next time when you can breathe through the security line. 487 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: You can take young kids with you because obviously they 488 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: don't even have a record for them to check on 489 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: anything like that. But save so much time. So please 490 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,880 Speaker 1: go get your TSA pre check. If you're listening to this, 491 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 1: and if you happen to be within like fifty miles 492 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,920 Speaker 1: of a toll road, go get your easy Pass. This 493 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,639 Speaker 1: is another thing we when we travel and there's a 494 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: lot of toll roads in the Northeast, we are always 495 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:44,160 Speaker 1: amazed to see cars like stacked up in the cash lanes. 496 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,120 Speaker 1: Sometimes I mean there'll be ten to fifteen cars deep. 497 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 1: That is fifteen minutes you could be waiting in that 498 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 1: toll line that you are not getting to your destination 499 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,480 Speaker 1: or not getting home. So again, listening to this, get 500 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: your pre check, get your easy pass, you will be 501 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 1: so much happier. I agree. It's like a timesaver that 502 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: pays off in dividends. Down here we have sun Pass 503 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 1: and not easy Pass, but I'm sure it's the same. 504 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,880 Speaker 1: And I only got my pre check like several months ago, 505 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,200 Speaker 1: and I wish I had done it sooner because breezing 506 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,159 Speaker 1: through those lines is amazing. And by the way, we 507 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 1: want to point out none of this content is sponsored. 508 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 1: All of our loves of the Week and anything else 509 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 1: we mentioned on the show is from our hearts only 510 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: our heart's only. No money changing hands here. Well, one 511 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: thing we do want to exchange is questions with listeners. 512 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: So Sarah and I both run blogs. We're on social 513 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,439 Speaker 1: media as well, and we love questions, so at Sarah's blog, 514 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: she asked for listener questions before we even had this podcast, 515 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,920 Speaker 1: and people were so generous with coming up with topics 516 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,359 Speaker 1: for us to talk about, which we were going to 517 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,880 Speaker 1: do in all these upcoming episodes. But the first one 518 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: this week, why don't you read that one for us? Sure? 519 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 1: This comes from reader Morgan, and she writes, I'd love 520 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 1: to hear about pumping in a professional context, specifically while 521 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: on work travel with people who aren't used to it, 522 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,959 Speaker 1: how to bring it up and how to stay casual 523 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,920 Speaker 1: about it so it's minimally awkward. I'm not sure there 524 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,679 Speaker 1: is a situation where it's minimally awkward. Although there's this 525 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 1: big movement right now to normalize pumping. I believe there's 526 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:24,439 Speaker 1: like a hashtag called I pumped here, So maybe this 527 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,320 Speaker 1: is going to gradually get better as more working women 528 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: are sort of normalizing the process. But I agree it 529 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 1: is a really difficult one. Yeah, and you normally were 530 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 1: able to just do it at your office, right, so 531 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 1: you'd fit it in between patients and did you to 532 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 1: me it was all about Yes, For me, it was 533 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 1: about arranging my schedules, so I actually got rid of 534 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,880 Speaker 1: my one long lunch break. I mean, not that it's 535 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 1: that long, but I'd cut it up into two pumping 536 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 1: segments so that I could better get it done. But 537 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,200 Speaker 1: traveling is really hard, and to be honest, I don't 538 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:59,199 Speaker 1: have personal experience with that kind of business travel, do you. 539 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:06,280 Speaker 1: So yeah, the pump and I traveled many many places 540 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:11,439 Speaker 1: to gather it has its own fun in the TSA lines. 541 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,200 Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many times it has been 542 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: poked at by agents started wondering what is this. I 543 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: took it with me to India once and had to 544 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,159 Speaker 1: explain the whole concept to the security people in India 545 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,480 Speaker 1: who are like, what on earth is this? I'm like, well, 546 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 1: I got a pump, you know, milk for my baby. 547 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,280 Speaker 1: There's like, well, where's the baby. I'm like, well, that's 548 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,880 Speaker 1: why I have the pump because the baby. Wow, it's 549 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 1: like works somewhat like a cow. Like if we want 550 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 1: to talk about this, you know, but it's it is 551 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: a pain. It is a total pain. Couple things that 552 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: I have found. I mean, you're just gonna have to 553 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,520 Speaker 1: embrace the bathroom you are if you're on a train. 554 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,400 Speaker 1: I did a lot of pumping and Amtrak train car 555 00:28:53,520 --> 00:29:00,320 Speaker 1: bathrooms gross but necessary, so I would kind kind of, 556 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 1: you know, wait till we're not right by a station 557 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 1: so it's a little bit quieter. And usually you want 558 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: to make sure you're in a car that has two 559 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 1: bathrooms so that if you're in one for a while, 560 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 1: it's okay. But you also got to be okay with 561 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 1: the quickie pumping session, and so some of this business 562 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: travel pumping is more about just relieving pressure as opposed 563 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 1: to getting a full pumping session in. So if you 564 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: view it that way, that you're not probably going to 565 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 1: be able to be perfectly timed with what your baby's 566 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,200 Speaker 1: nursing sessions would be at home. That is really more 567 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: about doing it with frequency and getting a few ounces 568 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 1: out so that you're comfortable until the next session. You 569 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,640 Speaker 1: can always ramp up the intensity at night when you're 570 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: in the hotel room. Not that that's super fun, but 571 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 1: you know, the pump nap can work and make up 572 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 1: for lost time. Yeah, exactly. And so when you're in 573 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 1: a hotel room, I mean, if you are planning on 574 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: bringing the mel home with you, obviously you know ask 575 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: for a refrigerator in your room. A lot of hotels 576 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 1: have some rooms with refrigerators and some not, so you 577 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 1: got to make sure that you're doing that. Honestly. As 578 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:14,400 Speaker 1: for it being normalized, I think you just you don't 579 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: have to be graphic about what's going on. But if 580 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: you tell the people you're traveling with, like, listen, I 581 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 1: need to pump every three to four hours, I will 582 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 1: do my best to scout out locations, but I just, 583 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 1: you know, if you could help me with that, I'd 584 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 1: appreciate it. And most of the time, I think if 585 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,880 Speaker 1: it's not you know, like a seventy year old dude 586 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 1: that you're traveling with, most people are pretty okay with it. 587 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: Certainly if you male colleagues who have kids themselves, if 588 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: their wives have breast fed, they are probably going to 589 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: be supportive of it. If they're a little bit you know, squeamish, whatever, 590 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: just be like, gotta go take my break now in 591 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,920 Speaker 1: the boat. Okay, all right, gotta go take your break now, 592 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,959 Speaker 1: and just not go into it too much. But if 593 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 1: you're casual about it, most other people will be casual 594 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 1: about it too. And you know, it's not forever, even 595 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 1: if it feels like forever. Uh, it Eventually the pump 596 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: tais are over and you can kind of laugh at 597 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,440 Speaker 1: the stories you've had during it, and maybe we'll even 598 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: go delve into this further in a future episode. You know, 599 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 1: about the pressure to continue breastfeeding for a very specific 600 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,640 Speaker 1: amount of time, I personally believe there really has to 601 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,680 Speaker 1: be some flexibility there as a pediatric professional. Yes, there 602 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 1: are some minor medical benefits to breast milk, but nothing 603 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: that makes it an all or nothing kind of a thing. 604 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: So yeah, perhaps that deserves a longer discussion later, less 605 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,960 Speaker 1: or more of a woman no matter what you do, 606 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: So if it works for you, great. I think it 607 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 1: is quite possible to pump while traveling. It's just you 608 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,120 Speaker 1: got to have a sort of good sense of humor 609 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 1: about it and always make sure you lock those bathroom doors. 610 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: That's all I gotta say on that one. So we 611 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: are are bringing this episode to a close. We're taping 612 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 1: these first ones in a bat and releasing them, but 613 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: we hope to have a weekly schedule after that. So 614 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: please connect with us on our blogs or you can 615 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,400 Speaker 1: reach out to us via social media and we look 616 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,120 Speaker 1: forward to chatting next time. Yeah, and if you have 617 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 1: topic ideas or questions you'd like us to address, we 618 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: would love to hear them, so please don't be afraid 619 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:34,920 Speaker 1: let us know. Thanks for listening. You can find me 620 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,920 Speaker 1: Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore 621 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 1: shoe Box on Instagram, and you can find me Laura 622 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,160 Speaker 1: at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best 623 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,680 Speaker 1: of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for 624 00:32:49,800 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 1: more on making work and life work together. Four