WEBVTT - Three Women with Lisa Taddeo 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:02.840 Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea. How are you. 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:03.240 Oh? 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:04.400 I'm just off the road. 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:08.200 My life is insane, and I think I slept fourteen 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:10.920 hours last night. Oh my gosh, fourteen hours to wake 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.680 up and go get a butt exam at I guess 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:17.440 a proctologist or a scatological expert. 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:21.560 I don't know what he was, but was a degrading experience. 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:26.400 My cousin recently went to this doctor, and he brought 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:30.040 my cousin up right before my anal rectum exam. I 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:33.640 already had to call anoscope this month, so I'm getting 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:38.320 so much ass play. This is separate and he basically 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:41.360 told me to. He was very nice, and he must 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:42.200 he had to have been. 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:43.360 He's got bedside manner. 0:00:44.640 --> 0:00:48.479 Yeah, he had a nice bedside asshole manner. And what 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:50.760 was the most humiliating part was that he told me 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:54.120 to bend over the table and pull my pants in 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:59.280 underwear down, so not even off, just down like you 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:02.200 were getting. It is worse. So it's totally worse. I 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:03.960 was like, can I just take them off right? 0:01:04.319 --> 0:01:05.039 And no gown? 0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.120 There was just a like a shade, like a dressing, 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.480 you know, something to shade me. He was in the 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.440 room also when I took my pants down looking away, 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:17.400 which is horrifying also, and the nurse was there because 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:19.080 you know, they have to have a witness now. 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.800 And then I bent over the table with. 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:26.080 My pants around my ankles and my underwear around my ankles. Absolutely, 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.760 and then they lifted the table up, so the part 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:32.080 that I was leaning on, oh no, they're putting down 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:34.520 and put it down so that my asshole was more 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:38.600 was protruding more. I suppose it was all a blur. 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:40.840 I mean, actually it wasn't a blur. I wish it 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.800 were a blur. So that was how my morning started. 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:47.000 By the way, I'm coming to Charleston, South Carolina this 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:49.840 Friday night, and I'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina on 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:51.480 Saturday night, so I hope to see you there. 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:52.520 Tickets are still. 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:55.200 Available, and I am closing out this year with my 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:57.680 last batch of shows for the Little Big Bitch Tour, so. 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:01.280 Come see me. Awesome. Actually, Chelsea, I have a really 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:02.800 exciting update. Oh good, what is it? 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:06.360 This is about Lynette who we did a GoFundMe for 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:07.240 last week? 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:08.360 What was that for her sister? 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.960 For her sister to get the car fixed and her 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:14.640 GoFundMe is over five thousand dollars, So thanks to all 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:16.359 the Dear Chelsea listeners who donated. 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.080 She knows, so fantastic she does. I would be great 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:21.280 she didn't, she knows, she's aware. 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:24.040 So yeah, all that money goes to Lynette and her sister. 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:26.320 And if you still want to donate, I will put 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:28.359 a link in the description again this week, so check 0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:28.760 that out. 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:29.160 Okay. 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.480 Our guest today is an author and now I guess 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:33.520 she's a producer. Well I don't guess she is a 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.560 producer because she has her own TV show coming out 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:39.079 based on her book called Three Women, which premieres tomorrow 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:44.200 on Stars. Please welcome author and creator Lisa Todeo. Hi, Lisa, Welcome, 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:47.120 Welcome to Dear Chelsea. This is my producer, Catherine. 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:49.400 Hi, Katherine, lovely to meet you. 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:53.720 Well, Lisa, this is nice because I vaguely recall no 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:57.639 offense to you, but I vaguely recall interviewing you when 0:02:57.680 --> 0:02:59.080 the book came out, because I was a big fan 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:00.280 of the book. When it came out, I was so 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:01.799 delighted to find out it was going to turn into 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:04.680 a series, and I watched the entire series in my 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:10.120 bed on Sunday, prepping for my colonoscopy, so cheers to that. Gosh, wow, 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:12.720 so we've been through it together so far and you 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:13.600 didn't even know it. 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:14.520 No. 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:17.400 First of all, I want to say great casting. Everybody 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:20.240 in this is so good. Betty Gilpin is in. 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.600 It, and Jyleen Woodley, Jaylene. 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:24.920 Woodley is always adorable and a great actress. 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:27.440 And then what's Sloane's name? What's her name? 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:31.560 She's a fucking Wanda Wise. She is insane. She's insanely 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:33.120 talented and insanely stunning. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:36.920 Yeah, she's very, very easy to look at, and she 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:39.040 has a lot. First of all, there's so much sex 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:41.760 in the show, and it's female positive sex. 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:43.760 So we're going to talk about all of this. 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:45.320 But the first thing I wanted to say to you, 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:49.400 Lisa is it was so nice to see a book 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:53.360 be turned into a series with all of the fingerprints 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:57.320 of the actual author on the show rather than someone 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:02.040 else taking it over. This is a huge female centric production, 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:05.440 from the directors to the writing to all of this. 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:07.720 The storytelling is for females. 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:08.000 You know. 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:10.760 Obviously men can watch it and learn a lot, but 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:14.920 it feels very representative of the female experience. So that 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.160 was very refreshing, and congrats to you on keeping your 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.000 hand in the pot of all of this, because so 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.920 many times we hear you know the opposite thing happening. 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.680 Thank you, was that your relationship at Stars, Like, is 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:27.200 that how you decided where to land? 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.080 Because they were going to give you the what's the 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:30.839 word I'm thinking of? 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:36.280 I want to say authoritarian, like that like you to 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:37.359 be an authoritarian? 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:43.240 Well, yeah, I mean I believe that the show is 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:46.120 exactly where it should be right now. But we did 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:50.320 start at Paramount showtime. That was the initial sort of 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:53.720 landing zone. Now Stars has picked it up, and I'm 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.120 very happy to be at Stars. I do think that 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.599 it is literally the ideal place for the show. 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:01.920 And so so tell us, okay, don't I want you 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:04.120 to talk about the show a little bit more than 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:06.520 me describing it, because I feel like you might do 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:08.400 a better job. But I want to just talk about 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.000 So this is this original book. If you guys haven't 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:13.000 read this book, I've talked about this book on the 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:14.320 podcast before when I read it. 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:16.799 So this is to just lay the groundwork. 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:19.920 This is Lisa followed three different women throughout their kind 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:23.200 of journeys. In this story, and kind of just tracked 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:26.560 each woman and they each have different experiences and they 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:29.640 all kind of tie in together. And then in the show, 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:32.839 you're actually represented. There's a character that's you who is 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:36.159 played by Shyleen Woodley. So how do you compare the 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:39.520 book versus the show, Like, do you think it mirrors it? 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:42.000 Did you think did you take some extra license? 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.280 So I think it mirrors it. I think fans of 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:48.320 the book will feel specifically with the acting. You mentioned 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:51.479 all the actors that we have, they're brilliant. I think 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:56.080 that the actors have brought Betty Gilben, bringing Lena to life, 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:59.000 the housewife and Indiana who just wanted to be kissed 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:04.080 is one of the most beautiful portrayals of female passion 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:07.200 and having I think that people who loved the book 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:10.560 and love Lilena character in specific, will just be blown 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:14.599 away that Betty Gilpin has essentially just become her so 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:16.400 much so that I felt like she had met her 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.599 and she obviously hadn't. But the main difference in the 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:24.520 show is that the Shalen Shale Woodley is playing, like 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.640 you said, a sort of version of me. And the 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:31.120 reason for a version of me being in there is 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:34.719 we were trying to satisfactorily link all of the women 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:36.760 and not have it just be an anthology and have 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.359 it be like a real, you know, a television show, 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.839 and we were going through the different ways that we 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.920 could link them. There were some wildly pitched ideas, like 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:48.280 Sloan's husband could be the lawyer in Maggie's story and 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:51.960 stuff like that. All of it was very inorganic feeling 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:55.440 when we were doing so much justice to honor the 0:06:55.640 --> 0:07:00.280 real three women's lives. The reason that they are all 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:03.880 linked was me, and the reason that they all talk 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:05.839 to me and that people talk to me in general, 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:07.920 was that I I think, you know, I was going 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:10.280 through a rough period of my life too, some of 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:12.920 them where and I was. I was It's like, you know, 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:16.280 it's easier to confess to a priest that has been 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.640 you know, kicked out than it is to one that hasn't. 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:21.640 And that's kind of what I was. I feel I 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.320 felt like I was kicked out of the world, and 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:26.280 people sort of you know, I just it was a 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:30.040 it was we became close, and we became friends, and 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:33.080 I have remained close with all three of them, most 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:36.280 especially Maggie, who I talk to almost every day. 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:36.920 Oh wow. 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:41.320 So the sort of idea of me being the linking mechanism, 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:44.680 the truth of it felt true to the to the book, 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:47.560 and so that is the biggest difference in the show. 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:53.520 Okay, let's talk about these characters. 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.120 Okay, so Lena specifically, we'll start with her because her 0:07:56.160 --> 0:08:00.120 story is probably very typical. Right, I'm sure of a 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.520 woman that's married, that hasn't been touched by her husband 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:05.400 for a really long time, that is aching for some 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:10.680 sexual interaction or appreciation or any vibe at all. Like 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:14.440 her marriage is dead and the relationship is dead, and 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:17.040 he completely takes her for granted and just thinks she's 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:19.520 going to stick around, and he doesn't know what the 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:22.720 problem is, which I think is illustrative of many relationships 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:26.040 far and wide. And how do you get that spark going? 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:28.800 And in fact, she didn't get that spark relt with him. 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.360 She had to go find it elsewhere, and then that 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:34.200 becomes its own story. I mean, this Lena's character arc 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.960 in this whole thing is just it's like a rollercoaster. 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:40.079 So she falls kind of head over heels for her 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.719 high school love interest. But he's married too, and I 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:47.319 don't want to give away anything, but she really gets 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:49.800 into him and then she gets the courage to make 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:51.800 a change in her life. But it doesn't end the 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:53.880 way you think it will end, and she's going through 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:57.240 all of these emotions, losing herself, finding herself, losing herself 0:08:57.240 --> 0:09:01.360 and finding herself. And I loved seeing where she began 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:03.560 and where she ended because I remember when I thought 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:05.120 I was going to be some sort of actress. 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.120 When you go to acting class. They talked about that, and. 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:09.800 I was like, God, it's so interesting because so many 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.280 times you see movies and you see shows and there 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:15.640 is no arc that's definable or that you can put 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:17.920 your finger on. You're like, well, this person's just stayed 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:20.960 the same throughout the whole series. But in this show, 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:24.520 every character is different than when they from where they started. 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.840 So I thought that was so beautifully done in terms 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:31.800 of acting, direction, all of the writing for it. So 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:35.160 which story do you feel out of the three women? 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:36.360 Maggie Sloane. 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:39.200 Sloan's story is going to be very inspiring for a 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:41.520 lot of people who want to throttle up because threeaples 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:45.000 are very in vogue now. Threesomes are making a comeback 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:49.040 in a major way, probably from the seventies, and I 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.480 know a lot of women want to open their marriages 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.440 because I have a lot of friends that I've spoken 0:09:53.480 --> 0:09:57.400 about this, and this is this is a great depiction 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:01.520 of the trials and tribulations of doing that. Yeah, So, 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:03.839 which one of the stories are you closest to as 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:04.240 a writer? 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:08.160 Gosh, that's a that's a hard question. As a woman, 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:12.440 I would say that Lena's story was probably the one 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:16.560 that I felt the most personally connected to, that roller 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:21.040 coaster of how you feel in the sort of you know, 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:24.320 in the gleam of the person who you love's eyes. 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:27.200 So that felt to me like like Lena and I 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:30.400 had grown up loving the same fairy tales, like the 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:34.000 Princess Bride, et cetera. We got our our idea of 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.600 what love came from the exact word, the same age, 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:38.880 so it kind of came from the same place. So me, 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.160 Lena and I have a very similar DNA in that way. 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:45.160 So I think Lena's story is probably going to be 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:48.560 one of the most relatable, just because, as you said, 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:52.240 it's such a widespread issue. I think almost anyone can 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.880 relate to that. Maggie being a young woman in high 0:10:55.920 --> 0:11:00.720 school who has attention from an older man is I 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:04.600 think something that many of us can relate to as well. 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:07.319 I certainly related that to that too. And there's something 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:09.520 about and now as I have a daughter, I have 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:11.440 a nine year old, and I'm seeing like you know, 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:15.079 I'm kind of seeing men because she's smart and interesting, 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.760 older men will sort of talk to her in a 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.880 different I'm starting to see that and the way that 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.480 she likes it because it's attention and just being able 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:27.400 to see that what had happened to Maggie happening, you know, 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:31.439 just seeing a version of that, the path of that 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:34.719 in my own home is so striking, and I think 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:38.840 people seeing it on screen. Gabby Creepy plays Maggie. She's 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:42.280 a phenomenal actress, and she embodies the desire. I mean, 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:46.079 it's like imagine desiring someone because it's your teacher. It's 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:49.160 an older men like and yet the feelings of wrongness 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:52.040 that come with that. I think we're so in tune 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:55.600 to that and Sloane story. As you said, thrupples are 0:11:55.720 --> 0:11:58.640 getting big again. But what's so big to me about 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:04.360 Sloan is that she just is unapologetically herself and certainly 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:07.280 the Sloan in the book, and the other Sloan that 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:10.360 I had spoken to who was an African American woman 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:13.160 but did not want to be in the book in 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.719 the end, was were the two Sloans that we kind 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:20.400 of looked to while also retelling her story with Tory 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:23.640 Samson and Chieza Hutchinson, who were the architects of the 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:27.080 New Sloan. But what I think about the New Sloan 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:32.600 is that she wants what she wants. She wants things 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:36.360 that might seem to some women like whoah, you have this, 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:39.320 this and this, you don't need that too. And that's 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:42.040 the part that I like so much. It's like, well, 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.400 you don't know what she needs. She has this, this 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.400 and this, you don't have that, okay, but maybe you 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:49.640 have the thing she does want. And who are you 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:53.880 to decide what she should have left after having, you know, 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:58.800 after having a wealthy lifestyle, a nice home, a gorgeous husband, 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:00.200 and Blair Underwood. 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.040 The idea that the notion that you should be satisfied 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:06.640 with a certain number of things and not ask or exactly, yeah, 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:08.960 have no cupidity for more like. 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:11.880 Oh, okay, exactly, my cup is full and that's it. 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:13.960 It's like no, no, no, no, wait, who decides that our 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.120 cup is full? We're the ones who decide. 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.679 That exactly, exactly. 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:21.680 And that's such a female thing to do. Like when 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:24.400 we're talking about like these kind of gender roles that 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.760 we've grown up with, the idea of this male gaze, 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.600 this idea of male appreciation, the idea that you can 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:33.720 be seduced from such a young age, starting years younger 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:37.720 than ten, by male attention, because of power dynamics, because 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.720 of men you look up to, whether it's a mentor. 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:41.760 I mean, I was in an inappropriate relationship at a 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.320 very young age also, and I thought I was completely 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:46.640 in control of the situation. And it's like, well, you're 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.720 not taking into account all of the dynamics that exist 0:13:49.880 --> 0:13:53.360 within an age difference, like that that an older person 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:55.000 has power over you. 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.079 And the realizations that you have when you do get 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:59.720 a little bit older, because when you're like fifteen, sixteen, 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.480 seventeen and an older guys paying attention to you, you're like, 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:03.080 I got this. 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:05.440 Yeah, it's confirmation that everything is what. 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:08.520 Yeah, And now that we're also we're all questioning these 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:11.360 things and understanding that that is not good and that 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:14.400 we don't want men looking at, you know, younger girls 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:16.520 in that way, and it's like, you can't stop that 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.840 from happening. So now we have to reconstruct how we 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:21.400 act as women and how we. 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:24.120 Raise our women, which is so messed up. 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:28.000 Yeah, we're always doing all the clean up work, always exactly. 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:32.400 I also like in Maggie's story, you know, she has 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:35.840 an inappropriate relationship with her teacher, but she doesn't come 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.920 to grips with the inappropriateness of it until much later, 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:43.000 And so while it's happening, of course, she's in the 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:45.680 throes of this, like she thinks this is a romantic 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.240 love story, and she and I like how many times 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:50.960 she says on camera I love you, I love you, 0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:52.720 I love you, I love you, because she needs it 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:54.800 to hear it back so so much. 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:56.560 Right, That's like another thing. 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.600 When we're missing something we want, we wanted, we say 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:02.040 I love you so prematurely without thinking it because we 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.640 love the idea of being in love. We don't think 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.400 about what comes, what kind of baggage comes with saying 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.360 I love you, and what kind of responsibility you're taking 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:14.360 on by saying I love you. So what about as 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:17.960 a mother, how are you changing the way that you're 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:22.960 talking to your daughter about these kinds of things even 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:27.280 though she's nine, Like how are you preparing her knowing 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.440 what you know now about women and writing these like 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.160 you know, this book and this show, Like how do 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:34.360 we change the narrative? 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:38.400 I've been sending her to a ninja school, like after school, 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.680 you know. I mean, I don't know how we change 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:46.280 the narrative. I think it's got to be a collective effort. Unfortunately, 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:50.680 and I say unfortunately because I feel like there's a 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:54.560 lot of people who are still stuck in previous ways 0:15:54.640 --> 0:16:00.480 of being and for this next generation and every forthcoming generation, 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:02.680 I think the idea that you know, we need to 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.240 evolve with this piece. We need to evolve in a 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:07.680 lot of ways, but with this specifically, it's a very 0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:10.680 tricky zone. And like you were saying about Maggie, like 0:16:10.800 --> 0:16:12.840 she didn't know. She didn't while she was in the 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.400 throes of it, she wasn't feeling, you know, and then 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:18.120 later she felt something. But actually there was a moment, 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:20.800 a couple of moments when she's like, you know, doing 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:23.320 her high school thing, and like her friends were like, Yo, 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:25.400 are you going to this party this weekend? Et cetera. 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:27.480 And she's like, wait, I don't know if I'm going 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.440 to be allowed to do that because I'm kind of 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.320 dating this guy, you know, Like those kinds of things 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.720 started seeping in. But she was like, well, but he's 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.640 married and he's my teacher, so he shouldn't have a 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:41.520 problem with me going to the prompt. And she was 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:44.440 already kind of feeling yucked out and then he did 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:47.840 something to pull her back in. So it's not even 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:51.120 The part that is frightening to me is that, like, 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:53.640 there is an inner mechanism I think at some point 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:55.600 where someone's like, wait, you know what, I don't want 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:59.320 to do this. But people who do have that knowledge 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:03.880 of how how to groom victims essentially understand exactly when 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:08.240 to get in there and flip the switch again. And 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:13.280 that's absolutely terrifying to me, and I don't know how 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:16.399 to fix it. I think the way that I personally 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:21.160 am doing it is being hyper vigilant in situations of 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.919 that sort. Wench. My daughter's at an early age so 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:27.680 that I can sort of, you know, walk her through 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:29.879 what's going on, so that there isn't a period of 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.359 time where she's just not talking to me about it, 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:34.760 because that's what happened with Maggie too. You start to 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.120 feel shame and then you just clam up, and that's 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.560 when the people who are making you feel the most 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:45.240 shame are able to, you know, move in and essentially 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.160 establish residence in your soul. 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.919 Yeah, because even every woman isn't on the same page yet, right, 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:54.040 Like we're having the conversation, so like, if you're a 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.280 thinker and you're actually worried about this, you want to 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.280 change the pattern of behavior of women moving forward. But 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.840 all women don't feel the same way. Some women like 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.400 that they think men should be in charge of society 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:07.080 and women should be demure, and you know, a housewife 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:09.520 is a great thing to aspire to be and that's 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:10.560 all you should ask for. 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:13.240 And this whole women's lib movement is too much. 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.600 So it's like, for me as a woman, I feel 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:20.040 so passionately about impacting any young kid girl specifically that 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.359 I can with the knowledge and the power of what 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:25.320 it means to be a fully actualized woman and not 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:29.679 being so deferential and attention seeking from men. You know 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:32.640 that that's not where it's at, and that is a disease. 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:34.199 Like we're not going to be able to turn that 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.760 around in our lifetime because you know, that's how we 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:39.919 were raised, thinking that that's such a good thing. I 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.400 think I was going to ask you about putting your 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:48.280 own story in this series. How did you feel about 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:48.800 doing that? 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:52.879 I mean, I felt apprehensive about it, but I also 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:56.160 what I also felt was, you know, I have put 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.600 these three women's stories into a book and now adapted 0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:04.000 it for show. The idea that I would be too 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:07.920 sort of precious with mine was not something that felt right. 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.640 But more so I kind of I'm more of like a, oh, 0:19:11.680 --> 0:19:14.800 I don't want anything about me to sort of take 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:19.399 away from anything about them or other people, because I didn't. 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:22.280 I just didn't want to take up space in that way. 0:19:22.720 --> 0:19:25.879 But when I realized that it was good, it was 0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:30.320 the sort of the true ecosystem of the story of 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.240 the book and then the story of the women and 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:36.760 all of us, it just sort of made sense. But yes, 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:39.919 I was apprehensive, and there was a moment where all 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.720 of my worst fears were sort of realized when my 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:47.160 husband and I were watching a scene that on playback 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:50.520 on one of the monitors that Shyleen Woodley had just 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.840 done an intimate scene with an actor that was sort 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.480