Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 2: What is your name? My name is Alison Allison. How
Speaker 2: you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 2: You know? I can't complain I'm caffeinated, I'm alert, I'm attentive.
Speaker 2: I can't always say the same. I can't always say
Speaker 2: that with confidence. To be honest, I've actually been getting
Speaker 2: like a few comments on you can like comment on
Speaker 2: podcasts on Spotify now, and I'll look at my Spotify
Speaker 2: comments and I'll occasional I'll get a few that say, like,
Speaker 2: is Lyle drunk? And I'm like, oh god, people can
Speaker 2: tell I'm not drunk. But I guess I'm not always
Speaker 2: as alert and attentive as I would like to be.
Speaker 2: I guess we can thank stimulants. I'm on a Celsius
Speaker 2: right now. Shout out to Celsius. I've found that drinking
Speaker 2: a Celsius or a coffee before I do one of
Speaker 2: these streams is kind of like the key to being
Speaker 2: able to be attentive and Okay, But I guess that's bad, right,
Speaker 2: I should be able to function without caffeine.
Speaker 1: But I was gonna say, does it is it a
Speaker 1: little draining? I was gonna say, is it a little
Speaker 1: draining to like talk to people all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. It's definitely draining, but I on the day,
Speaker 2: I like doing it on the days that I like
Speaker 2: doing it, And like, in this very moment, as I'm
Speaker 2: talking to you, I feel, like I said, very alert
Speaker 2: and attentive and good. So I'm ready to chit chat
Speaker 2: on the phone. Well enough about my my green little ass.
Speaker 2: What's up with you?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 2: Would you want to talk about today?
Speaker 1: Not much. I didn't expect you to call me. Tonight's
Speaker 1: like the one night that I was like, maybe I
Speaker 1: won't send a text. I've been like trying a lot,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm just gonna like chill and
Speaker 1: like here you are. So I'm like super stoked and unprepared.
Speaker 2: Well, what is it you'd like to talk about?
Speaker 1: Well, there's a few things I could talk about. The
Speaker 1: thing that I thought would be like most therapy get
Speaker 1: go esque is I have. So Actually, tonight's like the
Speaker 1: perfect night. My dad was over tonight and he so,
Speaker 1: to make it short, he spent ten years in jail
Speaker 1: and got out about five years ago when I first
Speaker 1: graduated high school, and he went to jail for I
Speaker 1: guess you could like say attempted murder of my I
Speaker 1: call her my half mom. She's basically my half brother's mom,
Speaker 1: who is also oddly enough best friends with my mom.
Speaker 1: Now it's a super weird, interesting relationship. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: he tried to kill her, and he got out of
Speaker 1: jail about five years ago, and I just now started
Speaker 1: to like build a relationship with him. But there's like
Speaker 1: a little bit of a hang up because he he
Speaker 1: apparently was in a gang called the Aryan Brotherhood, and
Speaker 1: he swears it was just for like survival in jail,
Speaker 1: but he still has like swastika tattoos. And I don't
Speaker 1: know if you know anything about Aryan Brotherhood, but they're
Speaker 1: kind of like a racist based gang from what I understand.
Speaker 1: And we're trying to navigate if we want that I
Speaker 1: just had a baby three months ago, and we're trying
Speaker 1: to navigate if it's like a good idea to have
Speaker 1: him around, if there's potential for him to still be
Speaker 1: that way. But he doesn't really act that way. But
Speaker 1: then sometimes he says things that are like like the
Speaker 1: other day, he said something like about these people that
Speaker 1: he knew and they were people's color, and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like they're black, but they're super nice though, and me
Speaker 1: and my husband both kind of were like, oh, like
Speaker 1: I don't know if that was That kind of indicates
Speaker 1: a little bit of like why would you think that
Speaker 1: they wouldn't be nice? So, yeah, I want to know
Speaker 1: what you think about that.
Speaker 2: Hmm, well what do I think about that? So your dad,
Speaker 2: I guess from the beginning, So your dad fifteen years
Speaker 2: ago tried to kill your who you call your half mom?
Speaker 4: Yes? Uh?
Speaker 2: Do you call her your half mom? Because like I
Speaker 2: assume you have a biological mom?
Speaker 5: That.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a a dumb thing to assume, because
Speaker 2: I guess everybody does. Do you have contact with your
Speaker 2: biological mom? I do? Yes? Okay, So this woman is
Speaker 2: like your dad's like ex girlfriend who like you're still
Speaker 2: cool with?
Speaker 4: Yes? Yes?
Speaker 2: And why did your dad try to kill her?
Speaker 1: So he was definitely on drugs and apparently there was
Speaker 1: like a bad night where she may have had some
Speaker 1: other men around and he like kind of lost it.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's kind of like the way I
Speaker 1: kind of look at it with them is like they
Speaker 1: both of them are known to lie. So I'll never
Speaker 1: actually know the full truth of what happened, but from
Speaker 1: what I can kind of gather from both sides. There
Speaker 1: was definitely some sort of disagreement or jealousy, and drugs
Speaker 1: fueled a lot of it, and one thing led to
Speaker 1: another And yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, And so throughout the ten years that your dad
Speaker 2: was in jail, you were still cool with your half mom? Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: and once he once your dad got out, was are
Speaker 2: him and your half mom cool or is she kind
Speaker 2: of like, hey, you kinds tried to kill me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So this is like a whole other layer
Speaker 1: to it. But she is African American and so him
Speaker 1: joining the Arian brotherhood, he has a son with her
Speaker 1: who's my half brother. And yeah, and so that's like
Speaker 1: a big hang up too, because now he doesn't he
Speaker 1: is so proud to be like my dad. But this
Speaker 1: this brother is a minor, so there is that. So
Speaker 1: there is a restraining order. So it's hard for him
Speaker 1: to even have a relationship with him. But sometimes I
Speaker 1: wonder if he actually wants him in his life or
Speaker 1: if he's just saying that to get my approval, because
Speaker 1: when I push, like.
Speaker 2: Proving the brother whose brother is this?
Speaker 1: He's my brother and he's my dad's son and the
Speaker 1: half mom's son as.
Speaker 2: Well, oh, okay, all right. So he's your half brother, yes, okay,
Speaker 2: and I assume that being in the Aryan brotherhood has
Speaker 2: given your half mom.
Speaker 1: The ick, you know, I think that's safe to assume.
Speaker 2: Okay, So your half brother has a restraining order against your.
Speaker 1: Dad, my half mom, and because he's a minor, I
Speaker 1: think it like kind of umbrellas over him as well.
Speaker 2: Okay, so your half mom has a restraining order against
Speaker 2: your dad, which also applies to your half brother because
Speaker 2: he's a minor. Correct, all right, So that restraining order
Speaker 2: answers the question of whether or not your dad and
Speaker 2: your half mom are cool now, yes, yes, okay, but
Speaker 2: you and her are still cool.
Speaker 1: We were cool for a very long time, but around
Speaker 1: the time that I moved out when I was eighteen,
Speaker 1: we became uncool because it's like a whole nother story.
Speaker 1: My mom is like kind of a narcissist, and so
Speaker 1: they're like bfs my half mom with my mom. And
Speaker 1: so when I was fighting with my mom and I
Speaker 1: got kicked out, the half mom showed up to the
Speaker 1: place I was staying with a gun, and like, it's
Speaker 1: a whole thing. So we're not cool now. But my
Speaker 1: brother and I are tight. I love him, he's great.
Speaker 2: So you wait, so your mom, your biological mom is
Speaker 2: now cool. She's not even cool. Your biological mom is
Speaker 2: BFFs with your half mom, who her ex husband tried
Speaker 2: to kill. Yes, so I assume that your biological mom
Speaker 2: also hates your dad. Yes, that's pretty crazy. And when
Speaker 2: you say your brother, your friend, and your half brother,
Speaker 2: and so you and your sixteen year old brother are very.
Speaker 1: Cool, yes, yes we are.
Speaker 2: Okay, So five years ago your dad got out of jail,
Speaker 2: and then when did he try to come back into
Speaker 2: your life?
Speaker 1: Honestly, like the same month I think that he got
Speaker 1: out of jail, and I had a lot of pent
Speaker 1: up emotions about it, so I didn't really interact with
Speaker 1: him much. And then I basically told him one day,
Speaker 1: like for me to trust even trying to trust him,
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to wait, like I need to see
Speaker 1: him be good for a couple of years and be
Speaker 1: consistent before he can come into my life.
Speaker 2: Okay, And have you has has the behavior that you've
Speaker 2: seen over the past five years been up to like
Speaker 2: what you desired?
Speaker 1: Honestly for the most part. Yet it's like super surprising
Speaker 1: because somehow my mom, who was in my life my
Speaker 1: whole life, is having more trouble building a relationship with
Speaker 1: me than my dad, who was pretty much absent my
Speaker 1: whole life. But then there's that part where it's like
Speaker 1: he has swaps the ka tattoos and he was a
Speaker 1: part of this racist gang and doesn't fully acknowledge my
Speaker 1: brother and says these comments that might seem a little racist,
Speaker 1: and we're like.
Speaker 2: What, being in the brotherhood is a whole thing. It
Speaker 2: is a whole It is a thing. It is definitely
Speaker 2: a thing, Like.
Speaker 1: It is not to be taken lightly, Like I do
Speaker 1: not want to be a racist person apologist or like
Speaker 1: try to be like cool with that at all, Like
Speaker 1: that is not okay with me, especially if he's not
Speaker 1: going to acknowledge my half brother.
Speaker 2: Has he tried to have a relationship with your half
Speaker 2: brother in the same way that he's tried to have
Speaker 2: a relationship with you.
Speaker 1: Because of the restraining order, it makes it really hard,
Speaker 1: but he has expressed it when I bring it up.
Speaker 1: But I wonder how genuine he is about that, or
Speaker 1: if he's kind of using the restraining order as like
Speaker 1: his excuse not to be around.
Speaker 2: Oh, like he can have his cake and eat it
Speaker 2: too by pretending he wants a relationship, but he also
Speaker 2: can't because of their restraining order.
Speaker 1: Exactly.
Speaker 2: Well, I have your brother. Is he your brother? Sixteen?
Speaker 2: You said he's a minor. Yep, all right, so I
Speaker 2: guess in a couple of years if he wants to,
Speaker 2: he can reach out. Mm hmm. How old are you?
Speaker 1: I am twenty five?
Speaker 2: Okay, And so you just hung out with your dad today.
Speaker 2: So how long have you and your dad been hanging out.
Speaker 1: I just had my baby three months ago and I
Speaker 1: want to stay around two and a half months. And
Speaker 1: so well we're like close to court. He's come over
Speaker 1: with maybe the last like months and a half.
Speaker 2: Ish, so it's so it's been kind of fresh that
Speaker 2: you've been so okay. So he when he first got
Speaker 2: out of jail, you were like, give me a few
Speaker 2: years so that I can see that you're, you know,
Speaker 2: not crazy. And you gave him a few years. You
Speaker 2: were like, all right, maybe you're not crazy. And he's
Speaker 2: been coming over for the past two months and things
Speaker 2: have been chilled.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, exactly.
Speaker 2: Okay, So look, I mean, do you do you want
Speaker 2: to have a relationship with him.
Speaker 1: I think it's nor for any kid to want to
Speaker 1: have a relationship with their parents. But I also know that, like,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tolerate racist behavior.
Speaker 2: Have you asked him why he doesn't get the tattoos removed.
Speaker 1: It's something that's been kind of nervous to approach. But
Speaker 1: we've been Me and my husband have been talking about
Speaker 1: it more and we're thinking about jumping on the opportunity
Speaker 1: to do that soon.
Speaker 2: I think that's fair. I think I think if you
Speaker 2: set the thing of hey, listen, you can be in
Speaker 2: my life and uh, you can be a grandfather to
Speaker 2: my kid, but you got to quit the Aryan brotherhood.
Speaker 1: I think that, you know, when you put it like that,
Speaker 1: it really is reasonable, isn't it.
Speaker 2: I think that's a solid pitch.
Speaker 1: I think you're right.
Speaker 2: I think I don't know. I don't know what's so
Speaker 2: great about the area and brother. I don't know if
Speaker 2: they give him health insurance or kind of what's going
Speaker 2: on over there. But yeah, you know, I think that's.
Speaker 1: A fair pitch, you know, And I think if he
Speaker 1: gives me any pushback, I might just genuinely ask, like,
Speaker 1: what benefits are there to be in a racist group.
Speaker 2: Hey, they have dental Well, how old is a baby?
Speaker 1: She is three and a half months, She's fifteen weeks.
Speaker 2: Oh cool, how's being a mom?
Speaker 1: Honestly, it's something I always knew I wanted to do,
Speaker 1: like even better than I thought. Hm, it comes with
Speaker 1: the challenges.
Speaker 2: But yeah, what's your husband think about all this stuff?
Speaker 2: I'm curious.
Speaker 1: I think that I am one of the luckiest people
Speaker 1: in the world, and I have the best husband in
Speaker 1: the world, and he just supports whatever I want and
Speaker 1: he just cares about my dad being as good of
Speaker 1: a person as he can be.
Speaker 2: That's cool. Yeah, well, let me know what he says.
Speaker 2: If i'm I'm I've started to I we did. I
Speaker 2: did a follow up call for the first time a
Speaker 2: few podcasts ago, and I'm gonna I'm gonna open up
Speaker 2: the invitation for follow up calls. If if a person call,
Speaker 2: if a person has a genuine update, if you, if
Speaker 2: you if you talk to your dad, uh, let me
Speaker 2: know if he if he uh chooses you or the
Speaker 2: area and brotherhood, I will.
Speaker 1: I would be happy to let you know.
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you I say to the people
Speaker 2: of the computer before we.
Speaker 1: Go, I would like to say that, Josh, if you're listening,
Speaker 1: I love you so much, and you're the best husband
Speaker 1: in the world, and you're the best father in the world.
Speaker 1: And as a young Shakespeare would say, buck bitches get money.
Speaker 2: I guess he did he say that.
Speaker 1: I think he did. I think it's somewhere in.
Speaker 2: Thanks for calling, man, have a good rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling.
Speaker 2: Bye bye, Damn. I forgot her name at the end,
Speaker 2: so I call her man. I just gotta be honest,
Speaker 2: that's what happens, and that I got kind of awkward,
Speaker 2: and I told her to have a good life. I
Speaker 2: gotta get better at talking to people if I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do it for a living in a podcast. Attention listeners
Speaker 2: of the Therapy Gecko podcast. Do you know that I
Speaker 2: do a live version of this podcast on stage in person,
Speaker 2: in front of real people, And that I'm doing this
Speaker 2: live show in several cities across the United States this year,
Speaker 2: And that tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour
Speaker 2: dot com or at the link in the episode description.
Speaker 2: It is all true. I'm currently on my third tour
Speaker 2: doing Therapy Gecko live all around the country and it
Speaker 2: is the most fun sick amazing thing ever, and you
Speaker 2: should come out and be a part of it. The
Speaker 2: shows involve a mix of material and presentations from myself
Speaker 2: combined with a group Gecko therapy session where members of
Speaker 2: the audience come on stage to share things from their
Speaker 2: lives in front of a big group of people, just
Speaker 2: like we do here on the podcast. Whether you're a
Speaker 2: fan of the podcast or you have no idea what
Speaker 2: this is and you clicked on it by accident, you're
Speaker 2: gonna have a great time at the live show once again.
Speaker 2: Tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com
Speaker 2: or at the link in the episode description. These are
Speaker 2: really fun shows. They're always wild, they're always unpredictable, and
Speaker 2: I hope to see you guys there. Hello, Hey man,
Speaker 2: what's your name? Tyler? Tyler? You just you sent me
Speaker 2: a text and you just wrote in all caps crazymethhead
Speaker 2: dot dot dot but gave her a chance? What does
Speaker 2: that mean?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so basically my ex at this point. So I
Speaker 5: met her back in October, and at first, you know,
Speaker 5: I was just like, I don't know if this is
Speaker 5: the girl I want to be with, blah blah blah.
Speaker 5: But then you know, we had fun and it was
Speaker 5: really nice and it was really cool. And but then
Speaker 5: like we went to this hotel because she and me
Speaker 5: up like we was like sleeping the We're laying down
Speaker 5: in bed and stuff. And she was like, well, do
Speaker 5: you know I have a three with my friend. And
Speaker 5: I was like, I mean, I'm just a man geck go.
Speaker 5: So I was like, fuck it, I'm down, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean. And yeah, She's like, we can go
Speaker 5: to this hotel. My friend's really cool. And at the
Speaker 5: time I wasn't I'm gonna get set up. But thet
Speaker 5: she showed her friend and I was like, okay, you
Speaker 5: know what, we didn't take the risks. We don't roll
Speaker 5: the dice, you know. So we ended up I ended
Speaker 5: up going and yeah, so I was waiting, She's getting
Speaker 5: a friend into it all that, like talking with her.
Speaker 5: I was there living waiting, but it is like finding more.
Speaker 5: By this time, I'm tired as fuck. So I end
Speaker 5: up just waiting there and I said like, do you
Speaker 5: have any like maybe red bull or some cocaine, you know,
Speaker 5: and she said like yeah, I'll figure it out. I'll
Speaker 5: help you. And I'm asleep. I'm on the couch like
Speaker 5: a sleep. She wakes me up and she has this
Speaker 5: like paper in front of me, and I'm like, what
Speaker 5: is this? I did ask what is this because I
Speaker 5: was barely looking up, so I was out of it,
Speaker 5: and I was assuming coke, you know, because you know
Speaker 5: someone's offering you something, I would assume that, right, But
Speaker 5: now I you know, I hit it and I like
Speaker 5: a do line, you know, and it hurt really bad.
Speaker 5: And I've done coke a couple of times, so I
Speaker 5: was like, this is some strong coat and she's like, no,
Speaker 5: it's mess and yeah, I was like, what do you
Speaker 5: read it's fucking man. And I was really upset, but
Speaker 5: you know, I like it hit and I was like,
Speaker 5: you know, I gotta see you through. Get the job DoD.
Speaker 5: But afterwards I was really like distraught, you know. So
Speaker 5: I was like, this is the girl I was thinking about,
Speaker 5: like be with. But then I figured out she does
Speaker 5: mess and I was like damn. And then she kind
Speaker 5: of drugged.
Speaker 2: Me and I was like wow, wait, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 2: hold on, hold on. Okay, Yeah, so it's five o'clock
Speaker 2: in the morning and this woman puts some paper some
Speaker 2: powder in front of you. You say paper or powder?
Speaker 5: It was a paper with powder on it.
Speaker 2: Okay, did you ask her what it was?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 5: Because I was barely kind of sleep and I was
Speaker 5: assuming coke because I told her coke and red Bull,
Speaker 5: and I wouldn't be was red bull.
Speaker 2: So okay, I don't know if that's okay.
Speaker 5: All right, Well at this time, I did know her
Speaker 5: for three weeks.
Speaker 2: So okay, all right, So you took the meth and
Speaker 2: then did you? I guess what happened after that?
Speaker 5: It kind of like changed her perspective on a relationship
Speaker 5: with her, because I was like, Wow, this girl seemed
Speaker 5: really cool, and she said she was bipolar. But I
Speaker 5: was like, like after the fact, like, okay, she said
Speaker 5: she's bipolar, and I was like just thinking bad. And
Speaker 5: I've never really hung around like people that have done that,
Speaker 5: so I didn't really know how to be. I just
Speaker 5: thought she was about public a little crazy, you know,
Speaker 5: a little crazy and that bad. And yeah, no, after that,
Speaker 5: I kind of started talking to her for a couple
Speaker 5: of weeks and then kind of fell back into it.
Speaker 5: She said she got clean, but I don't know if
Speaker 5: don't believe her, you know, because she's still be a
Speaker 5: little crazy and I'm like she says, she got clean
Speaker 5: for me, But it's like, you'd be doing this stuff
Speaker 5: for six years and then all of a sudden, you
Speaker 5: got clean for me. Kind of doesn't seem very possible,
Speaker 5: you know, And I gave her a chance. We started talking,
Speaker 5: started dating. I told her, you know, let me joy
Speaker 5: testing you, check you on you here and there, like
Speaker 5: I'm here to support you.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, so you're you're drug testing her.
Speaker 5: Well anymore? I mean, because I'm kind of like she
Speaker 5: still blows my phone up like thirty times a day.
Speaker 5: But you know, I kind of like tried to distance
Speaker 5: a little bit because I was drug testing her, but
Speaker 5: then like she didn't want to do it anymore. That
Speaker 5: was kind of like why is that? Because are you
Speaker 5: doing it? And she said nah?
Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, but dude, what hold on week? Okay?
Speaker 2: All right? First of all, how old are you? Man?
Speaker 5: Twenty three?
Speaker 2: Okay? What what's your deal?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 2: What's what's going on with you? Are you still? Are
Speaker 2: you doing drugs?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I actually just graduated last week for
Speaker 5: in psychology. I'm not really into drugs like that, you know,
Speaker 5: just party casual. That's how I knew that wasn't coke,
Speaker 5: you know, because.
Speaker 2: Wait, are you still doing coke?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: I don't do coke. I mean it's just like here
Speaker 5: and there at a party. You know it's going good
Speaker 5: like college parties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't do coke. Just sometimes do coke. I partake,
Speaker 2: you know, partaking is doing well, there's sometimes do Look
Speaker 2: it's I also I'll do cocaine maybe once a year. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like it's fine, but you know, yeah, all right, okay,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 5: So I would say three to four times every twelve months,
Speaker 5: So yeah a year, three or four times maybe, Okay,
Speaker 5: if I'm feeling maybe six.
Speaker 2: What are do you still talk to this woman?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I mean okay, so my mom she's very involved
Speaker 5: on my relationships, and she told me I should cut
Speaker 5: her off. And I tried. I tried every way to
Speaker 5: like push her away without me seeming like the bad guy.
Speaker 5: But it wasn't really like I've tried like every way,
Speaker 5: because she's tried every manipulation mess that there is under
Speaker 5: the sun, like you know, like, oh, I'm with that.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna get myself if you leave all this blah
Speaker 5: blah blah, all these different things, and I'm just like
Speaker 5: I try things like back, like try to be a slob.
Speaker 5: You know, you some fried chicken, you know, like look
Speaker 5: at and stuff like just try to like take her.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm sorry you said you said you've tried
Speaker 2: to get fat so that this woman will leave you alone. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Like it's like the slob method in a way. It's like, okay,
Speaker 5: so if you're.
Speaker 2: Are you are you all right? All this is stuff?
Speaker 2: Are you fucking with me right now? What what is this?
Speaker 5: No? I'm being one hundred percent honest. I mean, okay,
Speaker 5: I know it sounds crazy, like Okay, it's because my
Speaker 5: friend told me about like the slobs. He said, you know,
Speaker 5: if you really want to.
Speaker 2: Hold out, okay, I don't look, man, huh, forget about
Speaker 2: your friend and forget about your mom. What do you
Speaker 2: want to do?
Speaker 5: Man, that's a hard question because I do like her
Speaker 5: as a person, but I just want her to get better.
Speaker 5: And it's like I don't know how to make her
Speaker 5: get better, and.
Speaker 2: You can't do there is there is that doesn't exist.
Speaker 2: There is no how to make her get better.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what that's what's hard for me. Sact I
Speaker 5: guess because it's like I don't know if it's because
Speaker 5: like the graduated psychology, Like I want to help her,
Speaker 5: but it's like it's really difficult because I do want
Speaker 5: to like cut her off, but it's like I just,
Speaker 5: you know, like part of them, and I don't.
Speaker 2: Your friend is a fucking idiot. He told you to
Speaker 2: get fat so that she'll leave you alone. That's actually funny. No,
Speaker 2: your friend's actually not. Your friend's a genius because he
Speaker 2: was just fucking with you.
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, I took.
Speaker 4: I took.
Speaker 5: That's a good line. So like you know what I
Speaker 5: look like like, I'm just like sure liss, like you
Speaker 5: can turn her like all like just unattractive in general,
Speaker 5: maybe she'd be like, Okay, on to the next, you know,
Speaker 5: instead of like being hung up on me, even though
Speaker 5: if I don't believe that, I don't know, because.
Speaker 2: Dude, I don't know how you don't. I don't. Okay,
Speaker 2: in case your mom or your friend hasn't told you this,
Speaker 2: you don't have to talk to anyone you don't want
Speaker 2: to talk to.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess a part of me just feels a
Speaker 5: little guilty. It's like I kind of like came into
Speaker 5: her life, you know, promised one thing, and then she's
Speaker 5: like trying to get it back. And I mean she
Speaker 5: did do a lot of things.
Speaker 2: What did you what did you? What did you? What
Speaker 2: did you promise?
Speaker 5: Uh, I'd be like this is a normal stuff, like
Speaker 5: I'd be there for you forever all that, Like yeah,
Speaker 5: like I'm gonna be there for you. I'm gonna help
Speaker 5: you through everything, like I got you, I'm gonna take
Speaker 5: care of you, stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Okay, how old is this girl?
Speaker 5: Twenty five?
Speaker 2: Okay, jeez man, I don't know. Well, you can't fix
Speaker 2: this person. You can't fit you can't make a person
Speaker 2: stop doing drugs.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that part of me what I told her, like
Speaker 5: the last time we talked, because she was still blowing
Speaker 5: my phone in here. And now I'll text her like
Speaker 5: I helpe you doing well? You know, I won't answer,
Speaker 5: like I very like sparsely answer her. But I told
Speaker 5: her like, you know, you go to rehab, you got
Speaker 5: your stuff, you know, hit me up. But like, I
Speaker 5: don't know, it's just like kind of like a lot
Speaker 5: of work.
Speaker 2: I think it was. Look, I think it was a
Speaker 2: mistake to promise this girl that you would fix her.
Speaker 2: But even though you made that mistake, that doesn't require
Speaker 2: you to like you're not You're not like obligated to
Speaker 2: this girl to like help her through her drug addition.
Speaker 2: That's her cross to bear.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I would. It's just like I don't know. It's
Speaker 5: like I feel like a part of me, like she
Speaker 5: knows that I have a lot of she kind of
Speaker 5: plays on that sometimes and like it's happened in the past,
Speaker 5: and I mean like part of me is like I
Speaker 5: just wonder if she really like cares or she just
Speaker 5: wants like the free like money free like rant all that.
Speaker 3: You know, So are you are you bankrolling her? Well,
Speaker 3: what we were together, I was, Okay, are you still
Speaker 3: giving her money?
Speaker 5: No? No, no, because now she wouldn't do a drug test,
Speaker 5: so I didn't know what she was using money for.
Speaker 2: So it's like, man, dude, I'm just you know what
Speaker 2: I've been I've been neglecting going on advice rants. But
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go on an advice RNT. Can I do that?
Speaker 2: Can I go on an advice rant?
Speaker 5: To you?
Speaker 2: Okay, what's your name again?
Speaker 5: Tyler?
Speaker 2: Tyler? You're twenty three years old? Actually, before I do this,
Speaker 2: what do you okay? Now I remember? Now tell you're
Speaker 2: twenty three years old? You just graduated from college. Fuck you, dude, Like,
Speaker 2: I know that you feel for this woman whose life
Speaker 2: is going through a hard time, but at this stage
Speaker 2: in your life, like dude, you got to put your
Speaker 2: energy into like building up your own life and yourself
Speaker 2: as a person, and you can't abandon all of that
Speaker 2: to go like help this person who I from what
Speaker 2: I understand, you weren't in that much of that strong
Speaker 2: of a relationship with for that long. I don't, I
Speaker 2: don't think, But like, dude, yeah, this woman you've known
Speaker 2: for a couple of months, like you know, God bless her.
Speaker 2: I hope that she figures out what's going on with
Speaker 2: her and that she turns things around. But that's her responsibility,
Speaker 2: not yours. Your responsibility is to go make the best
Speaker 2: of your own life at this very critical time in
Speaker 2: your life, and you should be doing that instead of
Speaker 2: devising sitcom asque plots to get really fat so that
Speaker 2: she won't talk to you anymore. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean that, mas sense. I mean I've heard that
Speaker 5: here and there, and it's it means all the same,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 4: That's why I.
Speaker 5: Think too, It's just like, man, she's the guilt Ship's crazy.
Speaker 5: I think I should probably a blocker, but it's like
Speaker 5: see me up like two days ago, like her dog
Speaker 5: died and like that was her favorite dog, and like
Speaker 5: pretty sure, darkus, you didn't take care of it.
Speaker 2: Dude. You can't. Dude, you can't. Dude, you can't. Please, dude,
Speaker 2: please you can't.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just it's a hard bandy
Speaker 5: to pull off sometimes, you know, but makes sense, makes sense.
Speaker 2: It's a good thing to learn how to set these
Speaker 2: boundaries early because I and I get it. I get
Speaker 2: it's hard, dude, but you gotta you gotta learn not
Speaker 2: to fall for the guilt tripping and like reserve your
Speaker 2: own sanity.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and part of me like you only have you only.
Speaker 2: You have a finite amount of like time, energy and
Speaker 2: fucking like sanity, you know, and you gotta it's okay
Speaker 2: to be sparing with it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's why, Yeah, that's why I need to
Speaker 5: do more of because like, yeah, I like trying to
Speaker 5: figure her out was just driving me insane.
Speaker 2: So it was like, funny, let this person drive you insane.
Speaker 2: You can still have it, by the way, By the way,
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean you're not empathetic. You can still have empathy.
Speaker 2: For this person, you can still hope that they get better.
Speaker 2: But also importantnes is to understand that that's not your responsibility.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: No, it makes a lot of sense. Thank you.
Speaker 2: What have you been eating to try to get really fat?
Speaker 2: Like you said, fried chicken?
Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly, like it's just been a bunch of like, yeah,
Speaker 5: like fried chicken, a little bit of mask in her
Speaker 5: because I know she's like into like the skinnier cut
Speaker 5: more guys, and like I needed to boat either way.
Speaker 5: So I was like fucking dirty boat, you know, And
Speaker 5: I just fucking eat some food and shit, and I
Speaker 5: was like, you know what, like let me get dirty
Speaker 5: boat so I could cut back down because I I'd
Speaker 5: be all much in this journey. So I know I'm good.
Speaker 5: But it's like maybe, thank you.
Speaker 2: Thank you for teaching me the phrase dirty bulk. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna use that next time I go on a seven
Speaker 2: to eleven run and get a fucking one of those
Speaker 2: cheeseburger hot dogs. You know what I'm talking about. They
Speaker 2: take cheeseburger meat and put it on the hot dog
Speaker 2: roller and it's like a cheeseburger dog. I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: one of those and call it a dirty bulk.
Speaker 5: You know what you need to do with like a
Speaker 5: bag of Dokeys or back of like hot cheetos, and
Speaker 5: then you go to the nacho cheese like that little
Speaker 5: nacho cheese put the cheese on the cheetos or on whatever.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow, this woman really did ruin your life if you're
Speaker 2: doing that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean she paused it, you know,
Speaker 5: a little pause about it. But yep, that's the back.
Speaker 5: That's the back.
Speaker 2: What's your name again, Tyler? Tyler? Tyler? Good luck, man,
Speaker 2: don't stay stay strong out there? All right? Is there
Speaker 2: anything else you want to say to the people of
Speaker 2: the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: No, that's it, Thank you very much.
Speaker 2: Take care man, you too. Oh shit, that actually sounds
Speaker 2: like a good idea taking No, I mean not a
Speaker 2: not a not a good idea in that sense, but like, dude,
Speaker 2: what if you took a bag of the ritos and
Speaker 2: you went over to the seventh of the nacho cheese
Speaker 2: dispenser and you put it on there and you shook
Speaker 2: it up? All right? Sorry?
Speaker 4: Hello, hey, Lile, what's going on? Man?
Speaker 2: What's your name? Sir? Luke? Luke Luke? You texted me
Speaker 2: and said, hey, Lyle, I haven't left my house or
Speaker 2: spoken to anyone in person for a month, and so
Speaker 2: it would be cool to chat. Is that true?
Speaker 4: I'm exaggerating a little bit. I mean I go downstairs
Speaker 4: to grab Amazon packages and grocery delivery, and I'll see
Speaker 4: a neighbor and say hi. But you know, I haven't
Speaker 4: really talked to anyone in a in a while. I guess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna ask how you like get food
Speaker 2: and shit?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know Insta cart I got. I got a
Speaker 4: bunch of chicken today.
Speaker 2: Do you work from home?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, so thankfully I can. I can kind of
Speaker 4: do that.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: It's it's one of those things I just have a
Speaker 4: lot of I wouldn't really I don't know if you
Speaker 4: would call it like a glorophobia, but you know, like
Speaker 4: growing up, I got bullied a lot, and then I
Speaker 4: ended up joining the military, and that really like gave
Speaker 4: me a sense of confidence and belonging. And after I
Speaker 4: got out of the military, I went back home kind
Speaker 4: of felt like I rest back into that like scared kid.
Speaker 5: You know, M.
Speaker 2: Can ask, old you are.
Speaker 4: I'm twenty six, now.
Speaker 2: Nice, how long have you been out of the military.
Speaker 4: It's been four years now, so I joined right after
Speaker 4: high school. In my four years, got out, started going
Speaker 4: to college, and yeah, and you know, like growing up,
Speaker 4: I was I was a chunky kid. I was fat,
Speaker 4: and then you know, joining the military, got in shape,
Speaker 4: started feeling good, knew what it was like to be
Speaker 4: in shape and have a life, I guess. And then
Speaker 4: I got out of the military, I got pretty depressed,
Speaker 4: gained a lot of weight. It was during COVID too,
Speaker 4: you know, so I'm sure a lot of other people
Speaker 4: had a similar experience where they probably kind of pulled
Speaker 4: up at home and gained a ton of weight.
Speaker 2: And so your this this pattern of not leaving the
Speaker 2: house or talking to anybody, has it been like a pattern,
Speaker 2: like I guess, I guess you've hit a streak. You've
Speaker 2: been on a streak for this one particular month, but
Speaker 2: it's just been like an overarching pattern since you got
Speaker 2: out of the military four years ago.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I yeah, it's it's it's kind of
Speaker 4: like I said before, you know, like I feel like
Speaker 4: I kind of regressed into that, like into that kid
Speaker 4: I was back in high school and well, you know,
Speaker 4: I was in the Marine Corps specifically, and when you're
Speaker 4: in the Marine Corps. If you're if you're fat, you
Speaker 4: get like absolutely ostracized, like like you're not a person
Speaker 4: if you're fat and you're in the Marine Corps. And
Speaker 4: I feel like I like a lot of the stuff
Speaker 4: I learned in the Marine Corps, A lot of the
Speaker 4: like when you when you join an organization in your
Speaker 4: formative years and they kind of indoctrinate you to their
Speaker 4: way of thinking. No matter how much time passes by,
Speaker 4: some of that is going to stick with you a
Speaker 4: little bit. So even though it's been like a few
Speaker 4: years and I'm feeling a lot better, like I guess
Speaker 4: about how do I put it, It's some of it
Speaker 4: just kind of sticks with you, you know. So like
Speaker 4: right now, I've I've lost a ton of weight, but
Speaker 4: I don't feel like I'm back where I should be yet.
Speaker 4: So I kind of feel like I don't want to
Speaker 4: show myself in public because I'm ashamed of who.
Speaker 5: I am right now.
Speaker 2: How long have you felt like you were ashamed of
Speaker 2: who you are?
Speaker 4: Kind of been like that, like ever since I got
Speaker 4: out of the military, you know, just all the way
Speaker 4: I gained during COVID, I guess I kind of like
Speaker 4: spiraled and just gained a ton of weight, and you know,
Speaker 4: it's just it's been it for a few years. I
Speaker 4: was just kind of in a hole and really been
Speaker 4: digging myself out in the last year.
Speaker 5: But it's.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know, can can you relate to that?
Speaker 4: Have you ever kind of felt like you just don't
Speaker 4: want anyone to see you your presence bothers people.
Speaker 2: I've absolutely felt like disgusted with my body and like
Speaker 2: I was, I was, uh, you know, I definitely you
Speaker 2: know what it feels like to be like, ah, I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm too fat to exist as a parson.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm interested in this because you uh had a period
Speaker 2: of time where you felt confident where you were around
Speaker 2: other people, where you were fit, and then regressed, as
Speaker 2: you said, And I'm kind of wondering. I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: what can you do to get yourself back in into
Speaker 2: that that that feeling? And I'm thinking, like practically, like
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, shit, is it is it lame
Speaker 2: to say pilates do a little fitness class. Is that lame?
Speaker 4: Yeah? You know, Uh, I don't think so, But I
Speaker 4: don't know, that's that's one of those things that's not
Speaker 4: really for me, you know, before I a few months ago,
Speaker 4: I was doing muay Thai classes and that was pretty great.
Speaker 4: But I recently moved and I had a roommate, but
Speaker 4: he had to he had to go back home for
Speaker 4: a while, so that's why I've been alone. So I
Speaker 4: felt like coming out here would kind of be like
Speaker 4: that new fresh start for me. But now that he's
Speaker 4: gone and I'm just alone, I kind of just feel
Speaker 4: like I'm back at square one. And you know, this
Speaker 4: past month, I actually just found your stream and your
Speaker 4: YouTube channel and I've just been binging everything and it's
Speaker 4: it's really cool to see the effect that you have
Speaker 4: on people. And I really didn't expect that you had
Speaker 4: reach out to me.
Speaker 2: But well, cool, well, I mean fuck man, Like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: let's let me ask you this. This this life that
Speaker 2: you've been living, that's let's call it a gooraphobia light.
Speaker 2: Are you enjoying it or are you like, fuck this shit?
Speaker 2: I want to get out of there.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean I have like an introverted personality, you know,
Speaker 4: So I mean I kind of like it. But at
Speaker 4: the same time, being twenty six, I think you said
Speaker 4: you're twenty seven, right, twenty six, twenty six Okay, so yeah,
Speaker 4: we're the same age, So maybe you can relate to
Speaker 4: kind of that feeling of, you know, when you kind
Speaker 4: of feel like your life is just flighting by, and
Speaker 4: like you said, like you're the only you is the
Speaker 4: present you, and you can kind of feel yourself just
Speaker 4: slipping by and wasting away. So there's kind of like
Speaker 4: that conflict where like if you're an introvert, you like
Speaker 4: being inside, but at the same time, you know that
Speaker 4: kind of gotta do what's good for you. Like I
Speaker 4: saw a meme on Twitter today it was like it's
Speaker 4: like that soy jacket. He's like, Jesus, why are you?
Speaker 4: Jesus is with one of your hardest battles and it's
Speaker 4: Jesus on the other side and he's like, literally just
Speaker 4: go outside that.
Speaker 2: Okay, So that's what I was. That's what I was
Speaker 2: gonna say, is well, all right, So I mean I
Speaker 2: guess to relate in this sense, like I have this
Speaker 2: thing I'm a little bit the opposite where like I
Speaker 2: fucking can't sit still and I have to do something
Speaker 2: I have to do. I have to leave my house
Speaker 2: every single day or else I'll go insane. And actually
Speaker 2: sometimes that manifests negatively. Like today, my version of leaving
Speaker 2: my house or else I go insane is like I
Speaker 2: took a walk to McDonald's, you know, like that that's
Speaker 2: a lot of my Like it's not cool, Like I'm
Speaker 2: not going to fucking parties all the time. I'm usually
Speaker 2: just like I need to leave my house. I'm going
Speaker 2: to the drive through of Jack in the Box to
Speaker 2: like just eat in my car like shit like that.
Speaker 2: And so, dude, I don't know, I wish I had
Speaker 2: like a better secret than just go outside. I mean,
Speaker 2: you were talking about doing muay Thai classes just now,
Speaker 2: and I'm like that that sounds cool, man, Like, why
Speaker 2: why not more of that? You know what what made
Speaker 2: you quit doing that?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: It was just because I you know, I moved from
Speaker 4: the East Coast to more like Midwest so to live
Speaker 4: with my friend and he's currently not here. So so dude, like,
Speaker 4: I guess I could pick up more thaigh classes here.
Speaker 2: But well, so that's the thing, right, And I know
Speaker 2: it's never as easy as just doing it, But okay,
Speaker 2: you saw that meme it said literally just go outside,
Speaker 2: and I'm sitting here thinking, well, literally just go outside.
Speaker 2: So what's between you and literally just going outside.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's it's true. It's true. It's it's
Speaker 4: just one of those things, you know, where it's just
Speaker 4: that mental block, like it can ask you like why
Speaker 4: don't why don't you lose weight?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: Why do you keep why do you keep regressing yourself?
Speaker 4: And it's kind of one of those things where it's
Speaker 4: just that that mental block, you know, it's kind of
Speaker 4: like kind of like an awful like the opposite of
Speaker 4: a superpower. It's just kind of holding you back.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Well, it's interesting because you know you have
Speaker 2: it in you, because you just did the Multi class
Speaker 2: and you were in the military doing your thing, and
Speaker 2: you know you've known that a version of yourself in
Speaker 2: the past was able to go outside, but you have
Speaker 2: a mental block from doing it right now. And I
Speaker 2: don't know. I wish I was an expert in getting
Speaker 2: over the mental block. I really do. It's I've actually
Speaker 2: been speaking of memes. I have been seeing a lot
Speaker 2: of like shit on like TikTok where it's people going
Speaker 2: like I've been seeing a lot of memes where it's
Speaker 2: like somebody's talking to somebody and it's like, you know,
Speaker 2: I feel depressed and I have this so and so
Speaker 2: mental health issue, and the other person is like, just
Speaker 2: go outside, man, And then the person's like, oh, great things.
Speaker 2: I didn't think about it like that. And I see that,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I get it. But also at the
Speaker 2: same time, I am a fucking little part of me
Speaker 2: is like, well, just go outside. You know. I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know. I wish I knew. I
Speaker 2: wish I wish I had better insight than uh, just
Speaker 2: go outside, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right. I mean, I know my like situation
Speaker 4: is like it's pretty simple and minor compared to other people,
Speaker 4: I guess, But well, well.
Speaker 2: Dude, it's not about it's not about comparing yourself to
Speaker 2: other people. I think that's actively detrimental. It's more about like,
Speaker 2: what do you want out of life?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 2: I mean, if you were telling me that you're I mean,
Speaker 2: you're telling me that you you sound like you want
Speaker 2: to go outside.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I just realize I keep saying that over and over again.
Speaker 2: Go ahead and keep going uh.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's you know, I'm not like I just say
Speaker 4: I'm a little awkward. But it's it's just that feeling
Speaker 4: of like if I go outside, I feel like there's
Speaker 4: gonna be some sergeant major military figure in a bush
Speaker 4: that's gonna jump out and be like, hey, you fat
Speaker 4: piece of shit.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: It's yeah, yeah, it's kind of it's kind of like
Speaker 4: that feeling. It's I don't know if you would call
Speaker 4: it trauma, but some of the some of the ways
Speaker 4: I saw people get treated in the military, it was
Speaker 4: pretty messed up.
Speaker 2: And I can't decide if the military was was a
Speaker 2: happy time for you or a bad time for you,
Speaker 2: because you've described it in both ways.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's I think everyone that was in the military
Speaker 4: can kind of agree it's a little bit of both.
Speaker 4: I mean, a you know, growing up as a kid
Speaker 4: that got bullied and I was a fat kid at
Speaker 4: least having that like four years where I kind of
Speaker 4: felt pride in duty and I was in shape and
Speaker 4: I got to feel what it was like to be
Speaker 4: at your peak. Just having that experience, even though I regressed,
Speaker 4: I feel like it gives me like a light at
Speaker 4: the end of the tunnel, so like, I know, hey,
Speaker 4: that's what I'm trying to get back to, you know.
Speaker 4: I mean it's been I saw someone in the chat
Speaker 4: earlier say, like, take ozem pic like I've been taking
Speaker 4: it myself.
Speaker 2: For You've been taking as it most.
Speaker 4: Of a year now. I've lost about so I started
Speaker 4: my weight loss journey. I guess I really hammered down
Speaker 4: and said, hey, I'm going to lose weight in November.
Speaker 4: And I started at around two hundred and eighty pounds.
Speaker 4: I'm six foot one and I just wait in today
Speaker 4: about two twenty so I've lost about sixty pounds in November.
Speaker 4: And I can attribute a lot of it to I
Speaker 4: mean a lot of it is like your own hard
Speaker 4: work too, with you still have to diet and exercise,
Speaker 4: but ozempic just makes the mental part a lot easier,
Speaker 4: you know. So if you struggle with that mental part,
Speaker 4: like maybe you'll get like craving sometimes or sort of
Speaker 4: like binge eating because you like weed, right, Like I
Speaker 4: take some edibles sometimes, so I know that feeling of
Speaker 4: like hitting the monkeys, and ozempic really helps kind of
Speaker 4: like block that out.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: That's fascinating, that's fascinating. Yeah, I do like weed. I'm
Speaker 2: starting to try to cut I'm starting to not like
Speaker 2: it as much, because of the anxiety on the come
Speaker 2: up and the depression on the cometdown and the monkeys.
Speaker 2: I'm noticing those things. I used to just ignore those things,
Speaker 2: and now I'm like, you know what, those are compelling
Speaker 2: reasons to at minimum do this less. But i mean, congrats, man,
Speaker 2: that's awesome. Are you going to the gym? Are you
Speaker 2: lifting shit?
Speaker 4: I have been, but I mean for the past month,
Speaker 4: I've kind of been on a hiatus, and you know,
Speaker 4: I've been really in like a slump like the last months,
Speaker 4: just really feeling down. But you know, just talking to
Speaker 4: you on the phone right now, I just I do
Speaker 4: feel like you feel a lot better.
Speaker 2: Okay, good, good, that's good. I'm happy to hear that
Speaker 2: talking about it is better because I I really it's
Speaker 2: I'll have these moments, I'll have them with myself where
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, there really is I don't know if
Speaker 2: there's anything other than just do it, you know, and
Speaker 2: so I don't know if Yeah. So I mean I'm
Speaker 2: glad that talking about it is is is helpful. I
Speaker 2: think for me, Yeah, it's been tough for me because
Speaker 2: I well, I have this fucking here's where I'm at
Speaker 2: is I I was pretty good at the beginning of
Speaker 2: this year with like counting calories and going to the gym,
Speaker 2: and then like I've been using touring as an excuse, uh,
Speaker 2: And actually for a little while I was able to,
Speaker 2: like I was able to do my calorie counting and
Speaker 2: working out while I was touring, and very recently and
Speaker 2: then maybe like for the past month, I've been not
Speaker 2: doing any of that shit. I think it helped because
Speaker 2: at the time I was doing it, I really liked
Speaker 2: doing it and I was really into it, but I
Speaker 2: was also depressed, and I there was other shit that
Speaker 2: I didn't care about, Like the time the time period
Speaker 2: where I was really into going to the gym and
Speaker 2: really into counting calories, I only cared about going to
Speaker 2: the gym and counting calories. I didn't care about like
Speaker 2: doing any gecko shit. I didn't care about, like, you know,
Speaker 2: a lot of other things. And it was good to
Speaker 2: be going to the gym and eating healthy and everything,
Speaker 2: but life felt like kind of unbalanced, And now it
Speaker 2: feels a little bit more balanced, and I'm kind of
Speaker 2: using this excuse of like, Okay, once things slow down,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get back to doing that. But I don't
Speaker 2: know if things ever do slow down that might be
Speaker 2: a myth. So uh oh no, but I like the gym, man,
Speaker 2: I really do. I really like enjoy like lifting weight,
Speaker 2: I wrote. I remember I was lifting weights once and
Speaker 2: I wrote, I took up my phone, I wrote down,
Speaker 2: I was like, never not do this because I just
Speaker 2: fucking is is great. I went to the gym with
Speaker 2: a friend recently and I didn't even I didn't even
Speaker 2: like make it into like, okay, let me track my shit.
Speaker 2: We were just fucking around lifting stuff and it was
Speaker 2: really fun. So I don't know. It's a tough balance
Speaker 2: to walk where you kind of have to like, you know,
Speaker 2: track your whatever and all that stuff to like make
Speaker 2: it work. But also when you don't, it's kind of fun,
Speaker 2: you know, Or when you make it too much of
Speaker 2: a chore, it becomes it's a chore, it's not fun anymore.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm I'm Those watching the video version
Speaker 2: of this podcast know that I am.
Speaker 4: I am.
Speaker 2: I am no fitness expert, I am no doctor Huberman.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, now that you're bring it up, I
Speaker 4: can totally relate to what you're saying about how when
Speaker 4: you're going into like fitness mode, you feel kind of
Speaker 4: depressed and down for a while, right It's I think
Speaker 4: that's kind of what happened to me this past months too,
Speaker 4: because I, like I said, I got instacarted some chicken
Speaker 4: today and it was just chicken. I got like about
Speaker 4: twenty pounds of chicken. I'm just like eating nothing but
Speaker 4: meat right now, just kind of like detoxing my body
Speaker 4: of like yeah, kogar and yeah. And it's I think
Speaker 4: that's part of the reason why I've been like feeling
Speaker 4: so downs, just because I've been like having that because
Speaker 4: you know, when you when you need a lot of crap,
Speaker 4: that kind of becomes your your balance, and then when
Speaker 4: you go healthy, it feels like it's unbalanced even though
Speaker 4: it's healthy. So you got to give it like time
Speaker 4: to work. But I totally go what you mean about it.
Speaker 2: It is funny fitness mode, like going fitness mode is
Speaker 2: always like predicated by being absolutely fucking depressed. Like my
Speaker 2: fitness mode was I was going on a lot of
Speaker 2: fucking I was going on a lot of fucking uh
Speaker 2: uh hinge dates the beginning of this year, and I
Speaker 2: was like I was I just felt like very unattractive.
Speaker 2: I was like, I just I think I look like shit,
Speaker 2: I'm too fat, I suck. I got to lose weight,
Speaker 2: and I was kind of depressed and that kind of
Speaker 2: predicated like it, it was definitely negative self esteem and
Speaker 2: body issues and ship that I think got me into
Speaker 2: fitness mode. And then what kept me going into and
Speaker 2: that that kind of like is a catalyst. And then
Speaker 2: I think what keeps you in fitness mode is like, oh,
Speaker 2: this feels good. I like doing this.
Speaker 4: I haven't been on dating apps ever since I got
Speaker 4: out of the military and gain weight and how how
Speaker 4: are they nowadays? Uh?
Speaker 2: Uh, you know, I don't know, man, it's it's it's fine.
Speaker 2: I think I think well. I mean, look, dude, I
Speaker 2: think that you should probably get in shape, not because
Speaker 2: of you want to look good on your dating apps,
Speaker 2: but do it because it feels good or I mean,
Speaker 2: I just do it for both. But I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 4: Anyone that says that they're not doing it for both
Speaker 4: is a liar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I think both. I think both both is
Speaker 2: the truth. Yeah, what's your name again? Luke?
Speaker 1: Luke?
Speaker 2: Luke? Well, Luke, listen, man, Uh, this has been a
Speaker 2: good Uh, this has been a good, fat piece of
Speaker 2: shit support group meeting. I've enjoyed, uh enjoyed talking about
Speaker 2: these things. Is there anything else that you want to
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go,
Speaker 2: or say about life or death cheetos?
Speaker 4: I guess on behalf of everyone. I just wanted to say,
Speaker 4: we really appreciate you, man. I mean, like, I know
Speaker 4: you don't know me, but it feels like I really
Speaker 4: know you. It feels like you're my friend. And just
Speaker 4: having this little talk with a friend, it is just
Speaker 4: something I needed and Reilly really made my day.
Speaker 2: Thanks man, Thank good dude. If I really really, I
Speaker 2: hope this is a catalyst for something. I hope it
Speaker 2: caught you tomorrow You're like, let's go to moy Ti,
Speaker 2: let's go to the just do something. I hope. I
Speaker 2: hope it catalyzes something. That's my hope for this phone call.
Speaker 2: Whether or not it does, I guess to you, but.
Speaker 4: I was about to fall asleep when you called, and
Speaker 4: now I'm just like I feel like I could run
Speaker 4: a few miles. Feel great. Thank you, good man, Thank
Speaker 4: you very much.
Speaker 2: Smile good Thank you man. Take care and uh uh
Speaker 2: good good luck. And I guess I'm sorry, I'm awkward.
Speaker 2: I was trying to think of something funny to say,
Speaker 2: but I couldn't.
Speaker 4: But good luck, it's all good. Good luck with your touring,
Speaker 4: Take care, thanks man.
Speaker 2: Life is crazy, Food's awesome. That's the problem. I've talked
Speaker 2: about this so much on the show, and everyone knows
Speaker 2: that I eat a lot. But uh, that's the problems.
Speaker 2: Food is just so good and life is so crazy.
Speaker 2: But the gym is really good too. Maybe it's a
Speaker 2: balance of everything. I don't know. I'm a gecko. Hello, folks,
Speaker 2: it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But
Speaker 2: get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right,
Speaker 2: an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can
Speaker 2: listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko
Speaker 2: over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers
Speaker 2: get access to bonus episodes, They get a completely ad
Speaker 2: free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings
Speaker 2: from my live shows, members only streams, and they help
Speaker 2: support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's
Speaker 2: a clip from this week's members only bonus episode. You
Speaker 2: hooked up with the FedEx guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I work at a high rise apartment building. I
Speaker 1: make sure all the residents get their packages and a
Speaker 1: too nice guy.
Speaker 3: I probably shouldn't have done that because I'm going to
Speaker 3: keep seeing them.
Speaker 2: Do you think you're gonna have a recurring relationship with
Speaker 2: him or was it was a kind of a one
Speaker 2: and done deal. No?
Speaker 1: He seems kind of like a piece of shit, so
Speaker 1: I think it were done.
Speaker 2: Well, you just said he was a nice guy.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, so howe you know, like, if.
Speaker 2: You want to hear this full conversation, you can sign
Speaker 2: up to become a premium member at Therapy Gecko dot
Speaker 2: supercast dot com or find the link in the episode
Speaker 2: description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,
Speaker 2: I have nothing else to say.
Speaker 4: May goes off the line thanking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 2: Ever goes to he's teaching you loud in the