WEBVTT - “DID JAIL MAKE MY DAD RACIST?” 0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:02.800 Hello. 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:06.200 What is your name? My name is Alison Allison. How 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:06.640 you doing? 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:09.560 I'm good? How are you? 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:15.240 You know? I can't complain I'm caffeinated, I'm alert, I'm attentive. 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:18.880 I can't always say the same. I can't always say 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:21.680 that with confidence. To be honest, I've actually been getting 0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:27.000 like a few comments on you can like comment on 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:30.280 podcasts on Spotify now, and I'll look at my Spotify 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:33.040 comments and I'll occasional I'll get a few that say, like, 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:37.360 is Lyle drunk? And I'm like, oh god, people can 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:41.279 tell I'm not drunk. But I guess I'm not always 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:45.879 as alert and attentive as I would like to be. 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:51.160 I guess we can thank stimulants. I'm on a Celsius 0:00:51.240 --> 0:00:55.680 right now. Shout out to Celsius. I've found that drinking 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:59.080 a Celsius or a coffee before I do one of 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:03.800 these streams is kind of like the key to being 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:08.600 able to be attentive and Okay, But I guess that's bad, right, 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:11.160 I should be able to function without caffeine. 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:13.039 But I was gonna say, does it is it a 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.520 little draining? I was gonna say, is it a little 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:18.440 draining to like talk to people all the time. 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:27.720 Yeah, definitely. It's definitely draining, but I on the day, 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:29.720 I like doing it on the days that I like 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:33.760 doing it, And like, in this very moment, as I'm 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.280 talking to you, I feel, like I said, very alert 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:41.000 and attentive and good. So I'm ready to chit chat 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:47.800 on the phone. Well enough about my my green little ass. 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:48.400 What's up with you? 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:48.680 Man? 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:50.040 Would you want to talk about today? 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:55.880 Not much. I didn't expect you to call me. Tonight's 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:57.520 like the one night that I was like, maybe I 0:01:57.520 --> 0:01:59.640 won't send a text. I've been like trying a lot, 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:01.640 and I was like, I'm just gonna like chill and 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:04.760 like here you are. So I'm like super stoked and unprepared. 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:09.120 Well, what is it you'd like to talk about? 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:11.040 Well, there's a few things I could talk about. The 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:14.400 thing that I thought would be like most therapy get 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:18.920 go esque is I have. So Actually, tonight's like the 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:23.600 perfect night. My dad was over tonight and he so, 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:27.480 to make it short, he spent ten years in jail 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.919 and got out about five years ago when I first 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:40.680 graduated high school, and he went to jail for I 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:44.720 guess you could like say attempted murder of my I 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:49.440 call her my half mom. She's basically my half brother's mom, 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.840 who is also oddly enough best friends with my mom. 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:58.640 Now it's a super weird, interesting relationship. But yeah, so 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:02.480 he tried to kill her, and he got out of 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:05.880 jail about five years ago, and I just now started 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:09.280 to like build a relationship with him. But there's like 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:13.000 a little bit of a hang up because he he 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:16.800 apparently was in a gang called the Aryan Brotherhood, and 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:20.079 he swears it was just for like survival in jail, 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:24.079 but he still has like swastika tattoos. And I don't 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:28.600 know if you know anything about Aryan Brotherhood, but they're 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:32.920 kind of like a racist based gang from what I understand. 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:36.360 And we're trying to navigate if we want that I 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.960 just had a baby three months ago, and we're trying 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.800 to navigate if it's like a good idea to have 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:45.240 him around, if there's potential for him to still be 0:03:45.320 --> 0:03:47.200 that way. But he doesn't really act that way. But 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.720 then sometimes he says things that are like like the 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:53.000 other day, he said something like about these people that 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:59.040 he knew and they were people's color, and he was like, yeah, 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:02.600 like they're black, but they're super nice though, and me 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.280 and my husband both kind of were like, oh, like 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:08.680 I don't know if that was That kind of indicates 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:10.320 a little bit of like why would you think that 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.880 they wouldn't be nice? So, yeah, I want to know 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:14.680 what you think about that. 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:23.800 Hmm, well what do I think about that? So your dad, 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:28.640 I guess from the beginning, So your dad fifteen years 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:33.640 ago tried to kill your who you call your half mom? 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:36.840 Yes? Uh? 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:41.440 Do you call her your half mom? Because like I 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:43.359 assume you have a biological mom? 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:43.680 That. 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:47.159 I mean, that's a a dumb thing to assume, because 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:49.680 I guess everybody does. Do you have contact with your 0:04:49.680 --> 0:04:55.520 biological mom? I do? Yes? Okay, So this woman is 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:59.400 like your dad's like ex girlfriend who like you're still 0:04:59.440 --> 0:04:59.800 cool with? 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:02.440 Yes? Yes? 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:05.839 And why did your dad try to kill her? 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:13.440 So he was definitely on drugs and apparently there was 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:16.400 like a bad night where she may have had some 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:19.720 other men around and he like kind of lost it. 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:22.520 I don't know. It's kind of like the way I 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:24.279 kind of look at it with them is like they 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:28.839 both of them are known to lie. So I'll never 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:32.480 actually know the full truth of what happened, but from 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:34.680 what I can kind of gather from both sides. There 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:38.359 was definitely some sort of disagreement or jealousy, and drugs 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:41.080 fueled a lot of it, and one thing led to 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:47.799 another And yeah. 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:47.640 Okay, And so throughout the ten years that your dad 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:52.159 was in jail, you were still cool with your half mom? Yes, yes, 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:56.160 and once he once your dad got out, was are 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.320 him and your half mom cool or is she kind 0:05:58.320 --> 0:05:59.919 of like, hey, you kinds tried to kill me? 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:03.559 Yeah, okay, So this is like a whole other layer 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:08.920 to it. But she is African American and so him 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.320 joining the Arian brotherhood, he has a son with her 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:16.880 who's my half brother. And yeah, and so that's like 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:21.440 a big hang up too, because now he doesn't he 0:06:21.600 --> 0:06:25.760 is so proud to be like my dad. But this 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.320 this brother is a minor, so there is that. So 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.880 there is a restraining order. So it's hard for him 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:35.360 to even have a relationship with him. But sometimes I 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.560 wonder if he actually wants him in his life or 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:40.800 if he's just saying that to get my approval, because 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:41.680 when I push, like. 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:47.880 Proving the brother whose brother is this? 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.919 He's my brother and he's my dad's son and the 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:53.480 half mom's son as. 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:59.039 Well, oh, okay, all right. So he's your half brother, yes, okay, 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:04.640 and I assume that being in the Aryan brotherhood has 0:07:04.680 --> 0:07:06.160 given your half mom. 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:10.440 The ick, you know, I think that's safe to assume. 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:16.040 Okay, So your half brother has a restraining order against your. 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:20.000 Dad, my half mom, and because he's a minor, I 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.240 think it like kind of umbrellas over him as well. 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:25.240 Okay, so your half mom has a restraining order against 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:30.200 your dad, which also applies to your half brother because 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:34.000 he's a minor. Correct, all right, So that restraining order 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:36.840 answers the question of whether or not your dad and 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:41.080 your half mom are cool now, yes, yes, okay, but 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.520 you and her are still cool. 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:46.800 We were cool for a very long time, but around 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.560 the time that I moved out when I was eighteen, 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:54.120 we became uncool because it's like a whole nother story. 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:58.240 My mom is like kind of a narcissist, and so 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:00.720 they're like bfs my half mom with my mom. And 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:02.640 so when I was fighting with my mom and I 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:05.240 got kicked out, the half mom showed up to the 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.600 place I was staying with a gun, and like, it's 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:11.280 a whole thing. So we're not cool now. But my 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.960 brother and I are tight. I love him, he's great. 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:19.240 So you wait, so your mom, your biological mom is 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:23.920 now cool. She's not even cool. Your biological mom is 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:28.240 BFFs with your half mom, who her ex husband tried 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:33.080 to kill. Yes, so I assume that your biological mom 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:40.120 also hates your dad. Yes, that's pretty crazy. And when 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:41.880 you say your brother, your friend, and your half brother, 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:44.680 and so you and your sixteen year old brother are very. 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:46.800 Cool, yes, yes we are. 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:52.440 Okay, So five years ago your dad got out of jail, 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:53.959 and then when did he try to come back into 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:54.560 your life? 0:08:56.520 --> 0:08:59.000 Honestly, like the same month I think that he got 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.680 out of jail, and I had a lot of pent 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:06.120 up emotions about it, so I didn't really interact with 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:09.360 him much. And then I basically told him one day, 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:12.640 like for me to trust even trying to trust him, 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:14.560 we're gonna have to wait, like I need to see 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.800 him be good for a couple of years and be 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.679 consistent before he can come into my life. 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:26.480 Okay, And have you has has the behavior that you've 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:29.200 seen over the past five years been up to like 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:30.080 what you desired? 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:33.599 Honestly for the most part. Yet it's like super surprising 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.680 because somehow my mom, who was in my life my 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:41.400 whole life, is having more trouble building a relationship with 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:44.920 me than my dad, who was pretty much absent my 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:49.920 whole life. But then there's that part where it's like 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.200 he has swaps the ka tattoos and he was a 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:55.520 part of this racist gang and doesn't fully acknowledge my 0:09:55.600 --> 0:10:00.320 brother and says these comments that might seem a little racist, 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:01.480 and we're like. 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:05.800 What, being in the brotherhood is a whole thing. It 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:08.840 is a whole It is a thing. It is definitely 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:09.640 a thing, Like. 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:11.640 It is not to be taken lightly, Like I do 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:15.520 not want to be a racist person apologist or like 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.040 try to be like cool with that at all, Like 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:21.400 that is not okay with me, especially if he's not 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:23.439 going to acknowledge my half brother. 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:26.679 Has he tried to have a relationship with your half 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:28.480 brother in the same way that he's tried to have 0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:29.280 a relationship with you. 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:33.240 Because of the restraining order, it makes it really hard, 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:37.240 but he has expressed it when I bring it up. 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:41.240 But I wonder how genuine he is about that, or 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.440 if he's kind of using the restraining order as like 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:46.120 his excuse not to be around. 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:48.480 Oh, like he can have his cake and eat it 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.040 too by pretending he wants a relationship, but he also 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:52.480 can't because of their restraining order. 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:54.120 Exactly. 0:10:54.600 --> 0:10:56.800 Well, I have your brother. Is he your brother? Sixteen? 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:01.080 You said he's a minor. Yep, all right, so I 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:04.319 guess in a couple of years if he wants to, 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:09.280 he can reach out. Mm hmm. How old are you? 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:11.800 I am twenty five? 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:16.400 Okay, And so you just hung out with your dad today. 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:18.240 So how long have you and your dad been hanging out. 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.240 I just had my baby three months ago and I 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.840 want to stay around two and a half months. And 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:28.280 so well we're like close to court. He's come over 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.439 with maybe the last like months and a half. 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:33.040 Ish, so it's so it's been kind of fresh that 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.360 you've been so okay. So he when he first got 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:38.120 out of jail, you were like, give me a few 0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:40.120 years so that I can see that you're, you know, 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:43.640 not crazy. And you gave him a few years. You 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:45.800 were like, all right, maybe you're not crazy. And he's 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:47.839 been coming over for the past two months and things 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:48.440 have been chilled. 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:50.960 Uh huh, exactly. 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:55.400 Okay, So look, I mean, do you do you want 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.960 to have a relationship with him. 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.920 I think it's nor for any kid to want to 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.760 have a relationship with their parents. But I also know that, like, 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:08.520 I'm not going to tolerate racist behavior. 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.760 Have you asked him why he doesn't get the tattoos removed. 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:18.240 It's something that's been kind of nervous to approach. But 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:20.520 we've been Me and my husband have been talking about 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:23.960 it more and we're thinking about jumping on the opportunity 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:24.800 to do that soon. 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:29.719 I think that's fair. I think I think if you 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:33.040 set the thing of hey, listen, you can be in 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.720 my life and uh, you can be a grandfather to 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:41.400 my kid, but you got to quit the Aryan brotherhood. 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:45.280 I think that, you know, when you put it like that, 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:47.840 it really is reasonable, isn't it. 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:49.360 I think that's a solid pitch. 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:52.720 I think you're right. 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:54.920 I think I don't know. I don't know what's so 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:56.440 great about the area and brother. I don't know if 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:59.440 they give him health insurance or kind of what's going 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:02.120 on over there. But yeah, you know, I think that's. 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:05.560 A fair pitch, you know, And I think if he 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.440 gives me any pushback, I might just genuinely ask, like, 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:12.679 what benefits are there to be in a racist group. 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:20.400 Hey, they have dental Well, how old is a baby? 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:25.280 She is three and a half months, She's fifteen weeks. 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.640 Oh cool, how's being a mom? 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.240 Honestly, it's something I always knew I wanted to do, 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:36.560 like even better than I thought. Hm, it comes with 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:37.320 the challenges. 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.920 But yeah, what's your husband think about all this stuff? 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:41.600 I'm curious. 0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:45.559 I think that I am one of the luckiest people 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:47.680 in the world, and I have the best husband in 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.760 the world, and he just supports whatever I want and 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:55.400 he just cares about my dad being as good of 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:56.440 a person as he can be. 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:04.040 That's cool. Yeah, well, let me know what he says. 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.000 If i'm I'm I've started to I we did. I 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:09.200 did a follow up call for the first time a 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:13.400 few podcasts ago, and I'm gonna I'm gonna open up 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:18.320 the invitation for follow up calls. If if a person call, 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:21.360 if a person has a genuine update, if you, if 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:24.400 you if you talk to your dad, uh, let me 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:27.680 know if he if he uh chooses you or the 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:30.520 area and brotherhood, I will. 0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:31.840 I would be happy to let you know. 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:34.960 Is there anything else you I say to the people 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:35.960 of the computer before we. 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.920 Go, I would like to say that, Josh, if you're listening, 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.400 I love you so much, and you're the best husband 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:45.720 in the world, and you're the best father in the world. 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:50.760 And as a young Shakespeare would say, buck bitches get money. 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:54.400 I guess he did he say that. 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:57.520 I think he did. I think it's somewhere in. 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:08.400 Thanks for calling, man, have a good rest of your life. 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:09.480 Thank you for calling. 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:14.440 Bye bye, Damn. I forgot her name at the end, 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:17.840 so I call her man. I just gotta be honest, 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:20.080 that's what happens, and that I got kind of awkward, 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:21.480 and I told her to have a good life. I 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:23.400 gotta get better at talking to people if I'm gonna 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:28.200 do it for a living in a podcast. Attention listeners 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:31.600 of the Therapy Gecko podcast. Do you know that I 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:36.640 do a live version of this podcast on stage in person, 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:40.400 in front of real people, And that I'm doing this 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:44.120 live show in several cities across the United States this year, 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:49.080 And that tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:52.560 dot com or at the link in the episode description. 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:55.640 It is all true. I'm currently on my third tour 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:59.000 doing Therapy Gecko live all around the country and it 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:02.800 is the most fun sick amazing thing ever, and you 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:04.320 should come out and be a part of it. The 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:08.080 shows involve a mix of material and presentations from myself 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:12.360 combined with a group Gecko therapy session where members of 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.400 the audience come on stage to share things from their 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:18.200 lives in front of a big group of people, just 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.040 like we do here on the podcast. Whether you're a 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.720 fan of the podcast or you have no idea what 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:26.000 this is and you clicked on it by accident, you're 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.600 gonna have a great time at the live show once again. 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:33.000 Tickets are available right now at therapy geckotour dot com 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:35.920 or at the link in the episode description. These are 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:39.400 really fun shows. They're always wild, they're always unpredictable, and 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:44.520 I hope to see you guys there. Hello, Hey man, 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.360 what's your name? Tyler? Tyler? You just you sent me 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:53.960 a text and you just wrote in all caps crazymethhead 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:58.040 dot dot dot but gave her a chance? What does 0:16:58.080 --> 0:16:58.520 that mean? 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:04.439 Yeah, so basically my ex at this point. So I 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:10.000 met her back in October, and at first, you know, 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:12.320 I was just like, I don't know if this is 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:13.880 the girl I want to be with, blah blah blah. 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:17.480 But then you know, we had fun and it was 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.400 really nice and it was really cool. And but then 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:23.000 like we went to this hotel because she and me 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.960 up like we was like sleeping the We're laying down 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:27.320 in bed and stuff. And she was like, well, do 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.320 you know I have a three with my friend. And 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:31.840 I was like, I mean, I'm just a man geck go. 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:33.840 So I was like, fuck it, I'm down, you know 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.359 what I mean. And yeah, She's like, we can go 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:40.040 to this hotel. My friend's really cool. And at the 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:42.160 time I wasn't I'm gonna get set up. But thet 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:44.119 she showed her friend and I was like, okay, you 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:46.080 know what, we didn't take the risks. We don't roll 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:49.760 the dice, you know. So we ended up I ended 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:54.800 up going and yeah, so I was waiting, She's getting 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.040 a friend into it all that, like talking with her. 0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.960 I was there living waiting, but it is like finding more. 0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:03.600 By this time, I'm tired as fuck. So I end 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:07.520 up just waiting there and I said like, do you 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:11.119 have any like maybe red bull or some cocaine, you know, 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:14.840 and she said like yeah, I'll figure it out. I'll 0:18:14.840 --> 0:18:17.359 help you. And I'm asleep. I'm on the couch like 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:20.560 a sleep. She wakes me up and she has this 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.320 like paper in front of me, and I'm like, what 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.320 is this? I did ask what is this because I 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:28.199 was barely looking up, so I was out of it, 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:32.080 and I was assuming coke, you know, because you know 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:34.520 someone's offering you something, I would assume that, right, But 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:38.200 now I you know, I hit it and I like 0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:41.680 a do line, you know, and it hurt really bad. 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:43.719 And I've done coke a couple of times, so I 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.200 was like, this is some strong coat and she's like, no, 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:52.199 it's mess and yeah, I was like, what do you 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:54.960 read it's fucking man. And I was really upset, but 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:58.639 you know, I like it hit and I was like, 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:00.440 you know, I gotta see you through. Get the job DoD. 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:03.239 But afterwards I was really like distraught, you know. So 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.080 I was like, this is the girl I was thinking about, 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:08.520 like be with. But then I figured out she does 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:10.680 mess and I was like damn. And then she kind 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:11.440 of drugged. 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:14.320 Me and I was like wow, wait, hold on, hold on, 0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:19.240 hold on, hold on. Okay, Yeah, so it's five o'clock 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:24.360 in the morning and this woman puts some paper some 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:26.679 powder in front of you. You say paper or powder? 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:29.480 It was a paper with powder on it. 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:31.399 Okay, did you ask her what it was? 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:33.840 No? 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.159 Because I was barely kind of sleep and I was 0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:39.520 assuming coke because I told her coke and red Bull, 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:40.720 and I wouldn't be was red bull. 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:46.359 So okay, I don't know if that's okay. 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:49.520 All right, Well at this time, I did know her 0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:50.560 for three weeks. 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:56.679 So okay, all right, So you took the meth and 0:19:56.720 --> 0:19:59.840 then did you? I guess what happened after that? 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:04.919 It kind of like changed her perspective on a relationship 0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:08.440 with her, because I was like, Wow, this girl seemed 0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:10.959 really cool, and she said she was bipolar. But I 0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:14.880 was like, like after the fact, like, okay, she said 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:16.840 she's bipolar, and I was like just thinking bad. And 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:19.480 I've never really hung around like people that have done that, 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:21.080 so I didn't really know how to be. I just 0:20:21.119 --> 0:20:23.000 thought she was about public a little crazy, you know, 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:26.639 a little crazy and that bad. And yeah, no, after that, 0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:28.120 I kind of started talking to her for a couple 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:30.320 of weeks and then kind of fell back into it. 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:32.320 She said she got clean, but I don't know if 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:34.119 don't believe her, you know, because she's still be a 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:36.200 little crazy and I'm like she says, she got clean 0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:38.879 for me, But it's like, you'd be doing this stuff 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:40.600 for six years and then all of a sudden, you 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:44.119 got clean for me. Kind of doesn't seem very possible, 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:46.520 you know, And I gave her a chance. We started talking, 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:48.800 started dating. I told her, you know, let me joy 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:50.600 testing you, check you on you here and there, like 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:51.520 I'm here to support you. 0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:58.240 Okay, Well, so you're you're drug testing her. 0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:03.080 Well anymore? I mean, because I'm kind of like she 0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:04.960 still blows my phone up like thirty times a day. 0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:07.399 But you know, I kind of like tried to distance 0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:10.480 a little bit because I was drug testing her, but 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:13.159 then like she didn't want to do it anymore. That 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:16.359 was kind of like why is that? Because are you 0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:20.000 doing it? And she said nah? 0:21:20.280 --> 0:21:24.120 So I was like, okay, but dude, what hold on week? Okay? 0:21:24.160 --> 0:21:26.760 All right? First of all, how old are you? Man? 0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:29.080 Twenty three? 0:21:29.680 --> 0:21:32.160 Okay? What what's your deal? 0:21:32.240 --> 0:21:32.400 Man? 0:21:32.440 --> 0:21:34.760 What's what's going on with you? Are you still? Are 0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:35.560 you doing drugs? 0:21:37.320 --> 0:21:37.600 No? 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:40.879 No, no, no, I actually just graduated last week for 0:21:41.119 --> 0:21:44.639 in psychology. I'm not really into drugs like that, you know, 0:21:44.800 --> 0:21:47.640 just party casual. That's how I knew that wasn't coke, 0:21:47.840 --> 0:21:49.360