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Speaker 1: Are you leaving?

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Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?

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Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how

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Speaker 3: much baggage you claim, and give us time and a

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Speaker 3: termino and Gaby aid.

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Speaker 4: We want to send you off InStyle.

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Speaker 5: You want to welcome you back home.

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Speaker 4: Tell us all about.

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Speaker 1: Every scared he was?

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Speaker 6: It fine?

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Speaker 7: Now porn?

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Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?

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Speaker 1: Do you need ride?

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Speaker 8: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?

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Speaker 8: I'm Chris Fairbanks, I'm Karen col Gara, and we are

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Speaker 8: driving John Dore from Canada, Canada. We've driven from Canada.

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Speaker 8: It's a long drive and I just started recording.

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Speaker 1: We could have could have taken advantage, gotten.

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Speaker 6: A lot of good stuff up to Wow.

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Speaker 4: You guys came and got me in Canada, and then

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Speaker 4: you forgot the batteries for the recorders. So we drove

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Speaker 4: to California again.

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Speaker 1: Now we're just driving around to get fresh California batteries.

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Speaker 8: It's funny that this recording device will not accept Canadian batteries.

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Speaker 6: I did not know that they were different.

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Speaker 4: They're in kilometers. It's very different Celsius. No, we're batteries.

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Speaker 6: I don't know, and I don't know the conversion.

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Speaker 1: Their loonies and the blooney's up there like.

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Speaker 4: Volts in Canada. I don't know what you guys use here,

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Speaker 4: but they go in backwards. They're all upside down.

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Speaker 1: We don't use that.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, I don't. I haven't understood this device so far,

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Speaker 8: but I think so. If someone wants to complain about

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Speaker 8: how we sound, go ahead and do that, but first

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Speaker 8: give us a nice review on iTunes.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, give us a nice review on iTunes, but then

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Speaker 9: complain the hell out of it on Twitter. Because there's

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Speaker 9: no such thing as bad press about your sound.

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Speaker 6: That's right. Bad news is good news. Yeah, that's what

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Speaker 6: they say.

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Speaker 1: That's what they always say.

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Speaker 4: And if they're hearing it, then at least you know

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Speaker 4: it's working.

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Speaker 1: Right, So something's working.

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Speaker 4: That's a bonus, exactly, they got something.

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Speaker 1: I feel like there needs to be more gratitude in

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Speaker 1: the world.

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Speaker 9: It's not Oh my podcast isn't recorded at a good level.

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Speaker 1: How about just like God, bless the fact that I

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Speaker 1: have podcasts.

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Speaker 4: Karen, thank you for saying it, because I didn't want

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Speaker 4: to bring it up the world is too negative. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: we need more positivity, we really do. It's watching some

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Speaker 4: very positive YouTube videos last night, which one I found

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Speaker 4: this guy in I don't even know how it came

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Speaker 4: across it. He does this podcast out of New York

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Speaker 4: City and he preaches positivity and he's just like this,

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Speaker 4: you know, like first year college kid running around doing

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Speaker 4: like a vlog with his friends, and it's the most

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Speaker 4: entertaining thing. He like paints his little niece's face and

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Speaker 4: makes her look like Drake and then just it's like

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Speaker 4: the most innocent.

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Speaker 10: Hilarious because I don't that's a goatee on her. Positive Well,

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Speaker 10: it depends how you look at it. It depends if

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Speaker 10: you're racist, then you don't think it's bad.

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Speaker 1: Then you think it's great and you're grateful for more

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Speaker 1: racism in the world.

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Speaker 4: Or like minded people, you got to be positive, that's true.

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Speaker 4: I always thought that if hate groups, like every oppressed

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Speaker 4: group has always risen to power, right, sure, so they've

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Speaker 4: always overcome. History tells us that if you oppress a

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Speaker 4: group of people, they will rise up. So if you

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Speaker 4: don't want to listen to their comedy or their music,

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Speaker 4: then love them, and then that way they won't feel

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Speaker 4: the need to achieve anything.

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Speaker 8: You know, I agree with that, and I see that

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Speaker 8: on individual levels too, Like when someone has a bad

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Speaker 8: upbringing or not enough support from their parents, that lights

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Speaker 8: a fire under their ass to prove their parents wrong,

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Speaker 8: and they.

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Speaker 6: Will literally yeah, yeah, a.

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Speaker 4: Literal far.

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Speaker 8: It lights wild hair under their ass, a literal wild

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Speaker 8: rabbit crawls up their ass and makes them become more successful.

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Speaker 4: Where did you grow up?

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Speaker 6: Well in a field, in a field with not a

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Speaker 6: lot of guidance.

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Speaker 4: I was.

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Speaker 8: I wasn't raised by wolves, but I was adopted by

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Speaker 8: some your My parents did the initial work and signed

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Speaker 8: the papers, but they didn't know wolves were coming. You

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Speaker 8: just got a cross check when you're giving a baby.

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Speaker 1: Away, who is this legal garden?

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Speaker 6: Are they going to be a human? Is it or

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Speaker 6: is it not? A wolf? A lot of agencies don't

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Speaker 6: check hard enough.

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Speaker 1: They don't they're so lazy.

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Speaker 6: But if you you know, have someone like me.

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Speaker 8: My parents believed in me the whole time, and now

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Speaker 8: I'm really lazy.

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Speaker 4: No, full full disclosure. I've never seen dances with wolves,

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Speaker 4: really never seen it.

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Speaker 9: No, what would you say the Canadian equivalent would be

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Speaker 9: without film?

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Speaker 6: It's just a photo of there's no or naked.

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Speaker 4: The equivalent would be, yeah, all of boot pelts, all

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Speaker 4: of boot, all of boot dancing with these wolves. Eh.

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Speaker 4: I I don't dance, so if if for me, it

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Speaker 4: would be sitting on a chair in the corner with

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Speaker 4: music playing, watching the wolves while they dance. And I

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Speaker 4: have nothing to do with it.

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Speaker 8: And you're kind of mad like a wom Matt a

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Speaker 8: wolf version of footloose.

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Speaker 1: In his town, they never dance because he's the mayor.

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Speaker 4: In the mayor of john Town, there's no dancing in

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Speaker 4: the actual town I'm from. They allowed dancing, they loved

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Speaker 4: they were great.

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Speaker 9: It's Capezio, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, right, is where you're from?

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Speaker 4: WHOA, what was that?

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Speaker 6: Did you?

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Speaker 4: Kupezia? Is that a real place in Saskatchewan.

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Speaker 1: No, it's a type of dance wear that so Gallerina reference.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, you only get it if year old.

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Speaker 8: I'm gonna go ahead and admit something. When I was

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Speaker 8: in Montreal for two thousand and three.

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Speaker 4: You watch your watch your mouth, buddy.

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Speaker 8: Hey, I'm carefully choosing my words. I remember saying, which

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Speaker 8: providence are we in?

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Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 8: Providences? Of course, the capital of Rhode Island. Sure, not

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Speaker 8: a state Canada?

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Speaker 4: Was it the kind of thing you were saying over

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Speaker 4: and over again? Though my whole life?

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Speaker 6: Did you my whole life?

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Speaker 8: Until I was twenty five, I said, oh, the Providence

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Speaker 8: of Alberta.

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Speaker 6: Of course I.

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Speaker 8: Could see that though the Border Patrol. Oh, yeah, they

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Speaker 8: caught me. Then they they gave me. I don't know

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Speaker 8: how you get punished.

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Speaker 4: So wait a minute. You asked the boys Providence, are

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Speaker 4: we in?

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Speaker 6: Yes?

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Speaker 8: So that's not yeah, like that is disgusting. Pour out

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Speaker 8: that deer. Pour out that beer and brush the deer,

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Speaker 8: brush the horse. Can't remember the punishment, but it was created.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like it was about the head and neck.

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Speaker 4: Pour out the beer and brushed the horse.

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Speaker 8: But buddy's that's my that's wrapping up getting arrested in

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Speaker 8: Canada in a nutshell, Pour out the beer.

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Speaker 4: Did you really get arrested in Canada though?

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Speaker 6: Before? But not for saying Providence?

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Speaker 4: What did you get arrested for?

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Speaker 8: Well, it was a dance contest at the Thirsty baron

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Speaker 8: Waterton and some of my moves were not legal in

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Speaker 8: that area.

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Speaker 6: You're lying, I did nothing wrong.

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Speaker 4: Bring bring the truth. You're in Philadelphia man, have you.

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Speaker 1: Arrested in Canada?

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Speaker 4: John, I've never been arrested. No, I mean easily could

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Speaker 4: have been, just never caught. But yeah, have you ever

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Speaker 4: been arrested?

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Speaker 1: No? No, My ultimate fear that is joining the army.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, or or And this is not as likely to

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Speaker 4: happen as accidentally joining the army or getting arrested. But uh,

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Speaker 4: someone declaring me insane and can't not being able to

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Speaker 4: get out of an asylum.

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Speaker 1: The more you argue, the crazier you see.

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Speaker 4: Yes, the more you argue, the crazier you seem you

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Speaker 4: have to spend. Yeah, it would just be terrifying.

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Speaker 8: I don't know that I've ever been arrested, but I

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Speaker 8: was handcuffed and held on the side of the road

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Speaker 8: for a long time until we finally one of my friends, Yes,

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Speaker 8: one of my friends.

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Speaker 6: We've been hanging out since fifth grade.

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Speaker 8: But you guys, I'm a cop and i'm this guy's superior,

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Speaker 8: and he took the cuffs off.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it was easy.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 8: We we were skateboarding in the street and a cop

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Speaker 8: pulled over, but he was in his own car like

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Speaker 8: a Ford Explorer, and he threw open the door and

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Speaker 8: a news truck ripped the door off his car. Yes,

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Speaker 8: and he was very angry at us for that having

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Speaker 8: had happened. That having had happened. He looked at us

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Speaker 8: for blame and was very angry. I remember he threw

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Speaker 8: his glasses and they broke, and I said, well, now

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Speaker 8: you have a broken pair of glasses and he handcuffed me. Yeah,

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Speaker 8: and it was because we are skateboarding, so I've been around.

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Speaker 1: Well, but he handcuffed you for SaaS.

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Speaker 6: It sounds like, yeah, it was getting lippy.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I got I don't think those scales balanced though,

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Speaker 4: do they?

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Speaker 6: No, No, you.

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Speaker 4: Should have been in jail perhaps, Yeah, SaaS doesn't equal

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Speaker 4: let's cuff this kid.

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Speaker 8: Luckily, my friend Josh Harris, who's African American, and in Montana,

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Speaker 8: where I'm from, that doesn't happen.

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Speaker 6: A lot.

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Speaker 8: African American babies is growing up there. But there was

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Speaker 8: one black cop name, Oh, I don't know, Constable Harris. Anyway,

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Speaker 8: it was assumed that he was related to the other

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Speaker 8: black mister Harris.

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Speaker 6: So that's why we got off.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, that's cool.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like racism working for you.

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Speaker 6: And I don't like racism in any way.

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Speaker 4: John, Well, what's cool? Is that you got off my friend.

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Speaker 4: And if you didn't, who knows where your life would

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Speaker 4: have gone. You may not have been here today.

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Speaker 8: Just in the direction of face tattoos put on by

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Speaker 8: some apparatus with a doorbell motor.

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Speaker 4: You would have been in the doorbell motor. You would

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Speaker 4: have been in the gray bar motel selling smokes in

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Speaker 4: the cafeteria. But no, you are here with us today. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's right, gentlemen. Let's hear it for Chris Fairbanks here

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Speaker 4: and the shoe phone.

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Speaker 6: I just kicked it up.

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Speaker 4: Shoe phone my favorite thing in the world. It's up

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Speaker 4: there like if I had the list, like ten of

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Speaker 4: my favorite things. It's on the list.

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Speaker 6: You guys. Thanks a lot.

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Speaker 9: The first time I saw him do it, we were

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Speaker 9: on a show together and I couldn't believe it. I

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Speaker 9: kept turning the person next to me and being like, wait,

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Speaker 9: did you see that?

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Speaker 1: See? I think you actually.

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Speaker 6: Caught it that time, I do I can.

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Speaker 8: I can kick my shoe off into my hand without

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Speaker 8: people seeing me loosen the shoe.

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Speaker 4: Oh, that's the slide of hand. The night I saw it,

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Speaker 4: it was seamless, like this thing just flew up. It's

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Speaker 4: almost like it came out of the audience right into

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Speaker 4: your hand, so nonchalant.

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Speaker 6: That was fine. That's phase one.

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Speaker 8: He bo oh, I don't know, some guy doing his

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Speaker 8: best Jim Hamilton impression. Yeah, it looks like Hamilton. Jim Hamilton.

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Speaker 8: You guys don't know who he is.

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Speaker 4: But Jim Hamilton is a shortstop for a Triple A

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Speaker 4: baseball team, right.

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Speaker 8: God, he's got an arm. He should be a Double

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Speaker 8: A with that arm. Yeah, I mean he's a round.

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Speaker 8: He should be an AA. That's what I'm saying. And

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Speaker 8: then phase two came along a couple of years in

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Speaker 8: where I would take the shoe after using it as

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Speaker 8: a pretend shoe phone and throwing it back on my foot.

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Speaker 6: I realized I was able to.

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Speaker 1: Do that, so you could throw it back on.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, I can throw my shoe from my face level

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Speaker 8: back onto.

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Speaker 4: My toes up so to speak.

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Speaker 6: Yes, yes, well we shouldn't talk right now. It's what

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Speaker 6: I say. And then I throw it back and uh,

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Speaker 6: you know it does.

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Speaker 4: Well, it's one of the greatest things because it's silly.

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Speaker 4: Let me tell you why it's great. It's silly and

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Speaker 4: no one sees it coming. Yeah, that's its great writing.

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Speaker 4: It's just fun.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of lazy.

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Speaker 6: But that's what I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't give a ship.

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to this dumb thing, very rocking.

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Speaker 8: I wouldn't use the word lazy, but again, I'm not

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Speaker 8: a writer who's hungry.

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Speaker 6: By the way, Oh I could eat.

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Speaker 8: We we're gonna eat time is the question? Well we

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Speaker 8: do before the show tonight? Karen is headlining?

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Speaker 1: Headlining?

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Speaker 9: Well, it's eight thirty now, yeah, maybe we can go back.

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Speaker 9: I'll go do my guitar tuning whatnot. You guys can

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Speaker 9: go eat and then meet me there. Okay, because I'm

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Speaker 9: going to start having to brush my hair pretty soon.

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Speaker 9: I have to brush it to hundred fifty times before

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Speaker 9: the stroke starts.

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Speaker 8: Right right, She has OCD, but if he works out

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Speaker 8: in her beauty favor, I have to line napkins at

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Speaker 8: the edge of the table.

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Speaker 6: Oh it doesn't look me, look me any more handsome.

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Speaker 8: Come on, lady, we don't have all day white pants

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Speaker 8: close labor day.

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Speaker 9: My equivalent of Chris Fairbanks shoe phone for John Dor

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Speaker 9: and climb.

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Speaker 4: On the roof.

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Speaker 6: I know what's happening a little too close for comfort.

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Speaker 9: My equivalent is John Dor's classic bit where I can't

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Speaker 9: remember what you say. It's something along lines of isn't

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Speaker 9: it crazy that you can't smoke inside anymore?

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Speaker 1: And then you just smoke a cigarette on stage saying anything.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, remember the night you did that all the time.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I will do that whenever I really feel

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Speaker 4: like backfired on you money, I thank you. I it well,

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Speaker 4: when did it? It only went weird once. I was

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Speaker 4: doing a one night or in a pub in Huntington

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Speaker 4: Beach at a bar and oh, sorry bar, Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: it's a it's that's a pub is a bar in

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Speaker 4: kilometers And I did a Yeah, I did a show

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Speaker 4: and I lit up and the bouncer immediately came over

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Speaker 4: and said, you have to put that out. And the

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Speaker 4: audience was completely silent. And unless you let it kind

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Speaker 4: of draw out, you know, it doesn't. So now it

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Speaker 4: just looks like I'm getting the ship for being an asshole.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and so there I am on station. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but it's kind of part of the thing. He's like,

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Speaker 4: put it out. It's funny, but there's the audience is

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Speaker 4: rather put it out.

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Speaker 8: Okay, I'm not John, I'm not saying eyes on his side,

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Speaker 8: you know, I'm on your side. But sometimes you hear

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Speaker 8: someone's story and you're taking their side, but you also

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Speaker 8: see the side of the other person. And I'm afraid

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Speaker 8: that in this situation, I understand the bouncer telling you

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Speaker 8: to stop smoking.

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Speaker 4: It is oh yeah, yeah, I'm not against the law,

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Speaker 4: and I'm not telling him, you know, he did anything wrong.

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Speaker 4: I'm just answering the question posed to me, which was

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Speaker 4: has it ever backfired? And yeah, I don't know why

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Speaker 4: I'm being grilled here. No judged, No, And I'm not

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Speaker 4: being judged.

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Speaker 8: I mean backf like in a cartoon where their cigarette

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Speaker 8: blows up and peels back.

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Speaker 4: Oh, a literal backf not who I was talking to, but.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, a cartoon exploding cigar, as that ever happened.

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Speaker 4: But that that's the only time it really back for

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Speaker 4: if you're in a club, most people you can hear

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Speaker 4: the people in the audience sometimes say I can't believe

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Speaker 4: this is happening.

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Speaker 8: Other than that, they say it like Valley.

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Speaker 4: I remember once in Minneapolis. In Minneapolis, I did it

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Speaker 4: and there was a pregnant woman in the audience, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, oh shit, why have I committed to this?

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Speaker 4: I shouldn't have even tried this because it's not necessarily

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Speaker 4: about it is about her, but also other people noticing

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Speaker 4: her in the audience, and just the idea of smoking

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Speaker 4: with a you know, a woman who has a life

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Speaker 4: form growing in her body in the front row. Probably

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Speaker 4: not the best.

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Speaker 1: Idea, but she was like, don't worry about it. I

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Speaker 1: do it all the time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I wish. And that was also the same weekend

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Speaker 4: where I ended a show by farting into the microphone.

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Speaker 8: Well, a lot of people don't know that farting into

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Speaker 8: the microphone will also give your baby a low birthway.

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Speaker 4: They were more mad, Yeah, you've deafened my baby before

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Speaker 4: it's born. It was that sonic boom from the ACME

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Speaker 4: Comedy Club.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask a question? Was that improvised? Did you

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Speaker 1: know you were going to do it? Did you feel it?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 4: No, no, I'll tell you it was rightly planned. It

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Speaker 4: was a shining moment in my mind, Karen. I swear

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Speaker 4: I had done this thing where I like in the

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Speaker 4: audience that I, you know, you're supposed to end really strong,

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Speaker 4: and I take a lot of time working out to it,

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Speaker 4: and then I just start to walk off the stage

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Speaker 4: without ending strong. But then I accidentally knocked over a

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Speaker 4: beer and things got clumsy on the stage and then

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Speaker 4: there was kind of like a half laugh. But it

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Speaker 4: needs to be silent for it to be anyway. So

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Speaker 4: I didn't know what I was going to end with now,

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Speaker 4: and then I felt this rumble and I thought, oh

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Speaker 4: my god, I don't know what happened. It was just instantaneous,

365
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 4: and I grabbed it and it just happened and it

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Speaker 4: could not have been better, and the audience laughed. And

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Speaker 4: then I went backstage and collapsed on the ground laughing

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Speaker 4: as Eric because I am a fool. Yeah, but I

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Speaker 4: enjoyed it.

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Speaker 6: You're a fool, but you know when you have a

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Speaker 6: good closer.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. And then the MC has to go pick up

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Speaker 4: the fart mic and talk into it. He put his

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Speaker 4: mouth near the fart mic.

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Speaker 8: If you could, if you could control it and do

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Speaker 8: it on purpose closing every.

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Speaker 4: Show, So would I control my diet?

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Speaker 9: Yes, you should try to do it tonight because we're

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Speaker 9: all about to do the same show together.

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Speaker 4: We are.

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Speaker 1: It's very exciting.

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Speaker 8: We are where it's you as the headliner. Karen Kilgarriff

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Speaker 8: headlining at the at the Meltdown Theater in Hollywood, California

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Speaker 8: and John dor me guy.

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Speaker 6: We'll see.

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Speaker 8: I never have said I could spell it. I could

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Speaker 8: spell it, and I could finger him in a lineup.

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Speaker 8: But I know, excuse me, I could point him out

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Speaker 8: if he had done something wrong. Sorry, Jesus God, you

390
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Speaker 8: guys language Nazis.

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Speaker 6: I said language strict dictators.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, You're.

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Speaker 8: Welcome, based soldiers boot excuse me, cars.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I meant totaled crowds.

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Speaker 4: So even if I can't summon one, I will try

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Speaker 4: my hardest. Nothing if nothing comes out, and they'll just

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Speaker 4: walk off.

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Speaker 8: I've seen I've seen you smarts before.

399
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Speaker 4: That that's ridiculous. You've never seen that.

400
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,000
Speaker 8: You light candles, you kill a chicken. It's very spiritual,

401
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,159
Speaker 8: and the fart comes comes.

402
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:11,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the only way I can uh summon gas

403
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:12,920
Speaker 4: in my well.

404
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:17,200
Speaker 8: What you can maybe tell by the audio mic, the

405
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,719
Speaker 8: the car room mic, is that we've stopped and we

406
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 8: are at meltdown.

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Speaker 6: So let's go inside do the comedy concert.

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00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:23,640
Speaker 4: There.

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Speaker 6: We'll play some clips of everyone.

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00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 8: Maybe I'll make I'll make a little announcement before everyone's clips,

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Speaker 8: so it's not confusing.

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Speaker 6: Cool, like I'll go Karen kill Garreth.

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Speaker 1: What you'll know by our voices.

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Speaker 6: Do anything, No, and then I'll go nutched up.

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Speaker 4: We have John.

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00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,160
Speaker 1: Door, two old guys, and then and then I'll go next.

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Speaker 4: Up this guy brought Nay, you just recorded the intros.

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00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,400
Speaker 4: You don't have to do those again. Isolate those.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I'll chop them up and use the exact same if.

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00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 4: You can figure that out.

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00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 6: Okay, let's go do Oh yeah, it's a joke.

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00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 4: Remember positivity, positivity, and then we'll jump back in the

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Speaker 4: car and finish this out.

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Speaker 6: Thanks for the ride, Okay, well we're still gonna give you,

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00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,400
Speaker 6: but thanks for this portion of the ride.

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00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,959
Speaker 4: You're welcome. Like if I took an airplane to Canada,

427
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 4: I would thank the pilot and then on the way

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00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 4: back I would thank them.

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Speaker 1: They don't want it.

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Speaker 6: Okay, we'll be back.

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00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,160
Speaker 4: Beer, pet the horse and get the beer outrush the horn,

432
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 4: rush the horse, beer out of your face. Hello, nerd melts,

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Speaker 4: how are you guys doing?

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Speaker 11: You guys, are you ready for one of the best

435
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 11: comedy shows you're going to watch during your precious little lives?

436
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 11: Because you, guys, tonight, you guys are going to get

437
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,880
Speaker 11: to watch the very delightful Miss Karen Kilgareff teara apart

438
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 11: your minds and your hearts with her guitar. Also going

439
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 11: to enjoy the very lovely mister John dor and the

440
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 11: very lovely mister Chris Fairbanks, and of course myself, the

441
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 11: even lovelier guy Brandon. How are you guys doing. What's

442
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 11: your name? Young lady who said classic? Okay, that's a

443
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 11: valid answer. Classic. I would be questioning why you were

444
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 11: placing today, not even a week after July fourth is

445
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,200
Speaker 11: one of the best nights of your life. I would

446
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,160
Speaker 11: wonder if you were part of those one of those

447
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,679
Speaker 11: teen movies where a girl goes on an adventure and

448
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,640
Speaker 11: learns about herself and finds a boyfriend all in one night.

449
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 11: Like see, Okay, you never know, you never know where

450
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 11: the evening may take you. What's your name, Yasi, It's

451
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,199
Speaker 11: a pretty name for a pretty face. I'm unfamiliar with it.

452
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 11: I think I've heard it applied to both boys and girls,

453
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 11: So I'm going to respect that and defer to that

454
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 11: as a real name and not one of those made

455
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 11: up things that parents do sometimes. Yeah, so did you

456
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 11: happen during the course of my introduction to catch my name?

457
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 11: My name is Galie good job guy is barely a name.

458
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 11: The only way that my parents could have exerted less

459
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,880
Speaker 11: effort in naming me would be if they'd called me hey, dude,

460
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 11: or that one baby who lives here. Do you understand

461
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 11: my point? My point is that all of my life

462
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 11: I wanted a nickname. I never had one until college.

463
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 11: In college, they called me the Futon because I was

464
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:46,880
Speaker 11: so good at making sex awkward and uncomfortable. You guys

465
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 11: may have noticed that I'm unusually large for homosexual. I'm

466
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 11: not certain why this is the case. My current working

467
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,440
Speaker 11: theory is that once my parents realized I was going

468
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 11: to be gay, they figured they might as well raise

469
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 11: the large one in the counter. If they're not getting

470
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,439
Speaker 11: grandchildren out of the deal, at least they could get

471
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 11: a blue ribbon. All right, ladies and gentlemen, are you

472
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 11: ready for an awesome show? All right? Your next comedian

473
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 11: is astoundingly talented and he's the Ryan Seacrest of Canada.

474
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,919
Speaker 4: Please welcome to the great towns of mister John Tor.

475
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,159
Speaker 4: I don't know how to get into this either, but

476
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 4: I wanted to talk about my grandfather. I did stay

477
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 4: with him towards the end of his life. He didn't

478
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 4: like living alone. And one night my friend Robin came

479
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 4: over and we're playing checkers in one of the rooms,

480
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 4: and unbeknownst to Robin and Robin, I loved do you

481
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 4: know what I mean? Like Robin was one of those

482
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,880
Speaker 4: girls where it's like, I fucking love this girl. And

483
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 4: she came over to just innocently play the game of checkers.

484
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 4: And then my grandfather walked in to the room, opened

485
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 4: the door and said, John, your friend has to go.

486
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 4: And I thought, personally, he didn't need to do it

487
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 4: with his robe open and nothing underneath, do you know

488
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 4: what I mean? That's just my opinion. I think he

489
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 4: could have made a better choice, you know, but he didn't,

490
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 4: and so he will literally and figuratively cock blocked me. Okay,

491
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 4: that's what my grandfather did. But I always thought there's

492
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,360
Speaker 4: no such thing as fate, and there cannot be because

493
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 4: why would Robin since the day she was born, why

494
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 4: would her life be on a collision course with my

495
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 4: grandfather's genitals at one point? Right, it shouldn't happen. My grandfather,

496
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 4: I used to I remember, you know what, let's just

497
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 4: move on to something else, because this next part is

498
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 4: not gonna be good. I'll give you the punchline. Essentially,

499
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 4: the punchline is it was my grandfather's leg. Well, i'll

500
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 4: give you the setup then, because now you're confused. But

501
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 4: the setup is. The setup was one time I got

502
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,199
Speaker 4: to my grandfather's home and I was so drunk that

503
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 4: I decided to be a good idea to take a

504
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 4: giant bite out of a brick of blue cheese. But

505
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 4: it was my grandfather's Yeah, you got it, okay? Good? Right? White,

506
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 4: chalky white with veins of blue mold. You got it? Okay? Yeah,

507
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 4: they look pretty much to say it. Well, I'm like,

508
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 4: why is he in the fucking fridge? Not my fault entirely,

509
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 4: let's think about it. Because his memory was starting to go.

510
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 4: That's why I remember the day I called. I knew

511
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 4: the day's memory started going as the day I caught

512
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 4: him urinating with the door open. Not a huge deal,

513
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 4: but it's annoying when I'm trying to drive.

514
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 12: Fuck.

515
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 4: I have memories about this area of town too. You

516
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 4: know the you call him head shops here. I don't know, uh,

517
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 4: you know that store just like two blocks sub you

518
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 4: call them head shops here? What? Okay? Good? I'm from

519
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 4: Canada originally, so I don't know what you fuckers say. Okay,

520
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 4: and you know what we did not it's not about abandoned.

521
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 4: We did not abandon the queen, is what we did.

522
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,959
Speaker 4: We were loyal subjects. We didn't dart off in our

523
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 4: own willy nilly direction like you idiots did, like, oh,

524
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 4: we can figure it all out. Great job, guys, great job.

525
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 4: You know, Canada ended slavery almost one hundred years before

526
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 4: you did. But that that's probably ten that's probably all

527
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 4: temperature you know what I mean, that's all temperature related.

528
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 4: Because in the cold, in the cold, you just make decisions,

529
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 4: and you know, it's like, fine, fuck, just get me.

530
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,959
Speaker 4: I got a shovel, Okay, so just get me. Everyone

531
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 4: drinks from the same water fountain, where all equals I

532
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 4: got a shovel, or my wife won't fuck me. That's

533
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 4: what the that's what the reality is in the cold.

534
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 4: But in the South, you're just like, well, let's talk

535
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:40,479
Speaker 4: about it. I don't think we're quite ready. Okay. Anyway,

536
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 4: that might be something. I have a note here. You know,

537
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 4: the show murder she wrote very heinous television program like

538
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 4: or heinous title. Anyway, murder is in the title. That's

539
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 4: a heinous crime, probably the most heinous crime, yet we

540
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 4: put it in the murder, she wrote. You'd never see rape,

541
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 4: she wrote, is what I'm getting now, Okay, even though

542
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 4: there's alliteration already built in and it's not even the

543
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 4: most heinous of all crimes. But I guess it's because

544
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 4: the scenes would be a little different, wouldn't they for instance,

545
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 4: imagine that'd be weird. But do not have the courage

546
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 4: to do that tonight? We I mean, don't go I

547
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 4: can't go there? Really, why he's good, He's gonna explain it.

548
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 4: Did you say unappropriate? Okay? Sure? Yeah? Or inappropriate? But

549
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 4: you know what, you guys left the queen a long

550
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 4: time ago, so don't worry about it. Does anyone else

551
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,959
Speaker 4: hear say unappropriate? By the way, I would say inappropriate

552
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 4: personally only because it's right. That's the only reason why

553
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 4: I was. You didn't know where I was gonna go

554
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 4: with it. It could have been the most lovely tale

555
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 4: you've ever heard. And you're now you're not gonna hear it.

556
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 4: You're not gonna hear the rape? She wrote, payoff all right.

557
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 4: It was on an airplane with a lady and she

558
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 4: pulled out a bag and started pulling what looked like

559
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 4: tupperware from home out and I thought, oh, this can

560
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 4: only go well. I love when people bring their own

561
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 4: food into a vessel that's airtight, hard boil eggs, three

562
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 4: of them. Yeah. First of all, people who eat eggs,

563
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 4: they fucking impatient. Right, if you're an egg eater, you're like,

564
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 4: you can't even wait for it to be an animal

565
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 4: before you start shoving it in your fucking mouth. All right,

566
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 4: let it grow into something before you're like, get it

567
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 4: in me. It's disgusting. There's more there, but fuck it,

568
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 4: let's just move on. We gotta move this a long.

569
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 4: I was gonna say the headshop over here this year,

570
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 4: well the I'm not proud to say this, but remember

571
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 4: sitting in my apartment watching the heat and spurs, and

572
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,919
Speaker 4: I thought, you know what, let's spice it up. And

573
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 4: as a grown man, I went to the head shop

574
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 4: and I picked up twenty four nitrous oxide cartridges and

575
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 4: balloons in a you know, And I sat there watching

576
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 4: a basketball game and just sucking in nitrous balloon after

577
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,199
Speaker 4: nitrous balloon, and I thought, for a second, you know what,

578
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,239
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be present in another country one day, and

579
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 4: then I remember it, I'm Canadian and that's not even allowed.

580
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 4: Because we did not abandon the queen. We stuck with her.

581
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 4: We said, let's see this out before we start thinking

582
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 4: we're better now. Well, okay, let me tell you a

583
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,479
Speaker 4: story to end off here. I hope you like stories.

584
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 4: I used to live in Toronto, Canada with my roommates Steve,

585
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,400
Speaker 4: and we're comedians. He still is to this day. And

586
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 4: I went to uh and uh, soph deprecating. You know what,

587
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 4: I just realized, I have never had an epiphany that's

588
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 4: gonna be great because I hear they're alarming. They're gonna

589
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: be great that ever happens.

590
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 5: You know.

591
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 11: You've seen him on Coning. We have the same manager.

592
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 11: Please welcome the very talented mister Fairbircks.

593
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 4: I had to take my cat to my dad's.

594
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 8: I didn't have room in my little place, so I

595
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 8: asked my dad, can my cat come retire. I don't

596
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 8: know what he did for a living, but he's done,

597
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 8: and so I.

598
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 4: Had to put him.

599
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 8: When you bring an animal and a cat too, I

600
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,479
Speaker 8: thought they just put it in the bottom of the plane,

601
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 8: like with luggage. And live chickens. I was assumed there's

602
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 8: live chickens down there, but they make you carry it

603
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 8: and put it under the seat. So that's pretty traumatic

604
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 8: for a cat. So you have to make sure that

605
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 8: your cat is eligible or not or whatever able to

606
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 8: be sedated or eligible for a sedation.

607
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 4: There's a list that TSA gets.

608
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 8: So I went to a vet lady and I was like, Hey,

609
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 8: I'm gonna fly with my cat. And she's like, well,

610
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 8: let's test his blood. It's only three hundred bucks, why not.

611
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 4: And so.

612
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 8: And I had to fly the next day and she

613
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 8: was like, uh, she goes, great, cat's very healthy. Can

614
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 8: totally because if you don't test the blood, they're fucking

615
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 8: six tits up.

616
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 4: They're done. They die. Some cats die. Fuck.

617
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 8: I'm still I'm going back to how scared I was.

618
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 8: But she said, you're your cat's fine, it's very healthy.

619
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 8: You can totally sedate your cat tomorrow. And then I

620
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 8: was like okay, thanks, and then she goes, oh, he

621
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 8: does have AIDS, And I was like aids. Wow, that's

622
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 8: the fucking first thing I would have mentioned.

623
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 6: Aids.

624
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 8: Well, feline aids. It's different, is it so different?

625
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 4: Okay?

626
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 8: Can okay? Can a person like I am around the

627
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 8: catalot can a person? And she stopped me and she's like, no,

628
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 8: you can't get AIDS from a cat. And I was like,

629
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 8: I know, I knew that. I just wanted to see

630
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 8: if you knew that. But it was on my mind.

631
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 8: Fleas have gone off. That cat burrowed into my ankles,

632
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 8: you know. So I fucking tense, and so I went

633
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 8: to the airport. Maybe I drank a bit.

634
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 4: Some lady.

635
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 8: She was a cat lady with a glittery shirt. I

636
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 8: just remembered I was supposed to paint her house and catalina. Anyway,

637
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 8: she that wasn't a pun. She lives on the island.

638
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 8: I so i'm I'm nervous and I and she gave

639
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 8: me a bloody marry and we kind of got drunk.

640
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 8: And so as I was getting on the plane with

641
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 8: this old lady who was so supportive, I go to

642
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 8: her as a joke, I'm like, Aid's cat coming to board,

643
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 8: aids cat coming through. This cat has AIDS, I just said.

644
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 8: But then on the plane it kind of traveled into

645
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 8: everyone's ears. So I just basically yelled Aid's cat. And

646
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 8: on the plane the cat started once we were airborne.

647
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 8: The cat started making a noise that sounded kind of

648
00:31:54,520 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 8: like kind of like this all ooh, I'm a fucking human.

649
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 8: Not the last part, but the fucking human noise. Eyes

650
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,720
Speaker 8: owl had three sixties and eyes crossing like an an

651
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 8: eighties movie when someone gets kicked in the balls and

652
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 8: the pain is like. My cat was doing that, crossing

653
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 8: its cat eyes and panting like a dog does, a

654
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 8: tongue undulating and dripping, and I'm looking in the little

655
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 8: mesh window. I'm like, fuck this noise, and I unzipped

656
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 8: it and let the cat out. I ou't give a

657
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 8: fuck about any of these people. You know, when a

658
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 8: baby's crying, the mom's like ignore them. That's how I'm like, cat, enjoy,

659
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 8: don't die. I thought he's dying. He looked like he

660
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 8: was dying. And the cat just kind of walked up

661
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 8: and down the aisle. I'm like, yeah, what are you

662
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 8: gonna land the plane? Sky waitress, fucking my cat's going

663
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 8: for a walk, Say hi, say hi to people. The

664
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 8: cat went back further and I heard some old lady faintly,

665
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 8: and it was pretty terrific. She goes, uh, oh, don't

666
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 8: pet that cat. He has age i'd Lexie. Thank you

667
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 8: you guys, Thanks.

668
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 11: Chris Fairbanks. Everybody, Okay, are you guys ready for your headliner?

669
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 11: This lady is so funny, she's so smart, she's so good.

670
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 4: She's the former head writer of Ellen.

671
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 11: She has six goddamn Emmy Awards, she was the head

672
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 11: writer of The Pete Holmes Show, and she's one of

673
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 11: the best fucking comedians working today. Please welcome to the

674
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 11: very talented Miss Karen Kilgarriff.

675
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 5: I forgot my password again. I have no idea what

676
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 5: it could have been. Try my old dog's name my birthday.

677
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 5: I tried one, two, three, four, five six, but I

678
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 5: guess it slipped my mind because those little blue words

679
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 5: came up every time.

680
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: Did you forget? Did you forget? I gave up and

681
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 1: I clicked yes.

682
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 5: Why do I pretend whatever I come up with, I

683
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 5: will just forget again. Why don't I break down and

684
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 5: use your name? It's the only thing that's in my

685
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 5: brain that never seems to go away. I think I

686
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 5: lost my phone again. Oh holy shit, it's in my hand.

687
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 5: Something's really wrong with me.

688
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 1: I'm not the man I used to be.

689
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 3: I can barely text my friends, and then when I do.

690
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: I don't hit send.

691
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 7: Something's really wrong with me.

692
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 5: And I said that already.

693
00:34:58,719 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 1: When does this pap?

694
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 5: When do you like back to being smart again? Will

695
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 5: it just get her some worse each day?

696
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: Is that the only.

697
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 5: Way my brain will let you go away?

698
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's important to applaud quickly after the sad ones

699
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 9: because I'm up here by myself, Like it's like I

700
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 9: took my shirt off and you're just staring at me.

701
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 1: Essentially, you're like, well, I don't know, we care about

702
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: your feelings that much.

703
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 5: It's like comedy room.

704
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,319
Speaker 9: There was one moment the song ended and then it

705
00:35:52,360 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 9: was that Cricket's like cricket, more like cricket time. I've

706
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 9: had this pedicure going for probably nine months. I think

707
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 9: it's not toenail.

708
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: It's all polish.

709
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 9: Front row gets extra stuff because they came early.

710
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 7: Oh all right, I.

711
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 9: Haven't played this one in a while.

712
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: Thank you. My mom's here.

713
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 7: Everybody's been in a business situation. Everybody has suffered under

714
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 7: fluorescent lights. We've all said, oh my god, how much

715
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 7: longer will I be here? And oh my god, what

716
00:36:52,719 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 7: is happening in my life? And everybody stood in a

717
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 7: corporate kitchen net, just staring at a cupboard full of cream,

718
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 7: or scared to dead that they'll never find real love,

719
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 7: scared to dead they'll only get mean.

720
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 5: We only get this one life.

721
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 1: Sorry, Buddhist.

722
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 4: Better make sure you're doing it.

723
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,879
Speaker 5: Ride Ride, Ride, ride.

724
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 7: Now, because you could feel a lump in the back

725
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 7: of your throat and find out you have stage five cancer.

726
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 7: You could get shot by a little kid or plowing.

727
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: To the back of a Mitsubi she lancer.

728
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 13: You could ach the moonlight gives side stroll and then fall.

729
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: Into the sea erosion.

730
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 7: You could hit your head on a murphy bed and

731
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 7: forget me, forget me.

732
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:23,479
Speaker 5: You only get this one pass. I hope you don't

733
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 5: spend the whole time, the whole time acting like a.

734
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: Fucking assss.

735
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 14: Oh, because see how everybody's been in a business situation.

736
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 7: Everybody has suffered under floras and lights. You've also oh

737
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 7: my god, how much longer will I be here? And

738
00:38:53,000 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 7: oh my god, what is happening in my life?

739
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 13: We can't afford to the innocent stand up in face

740
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 13: the enemy.

741
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:11,280
Speaker 1: It's you.

742
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 5: It's a do or die situation. This is a straight

743
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 5: up business situation.

744
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 9: One more time for Guy Braham Chris Fairbanks, John Dorr.

745
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 1: Thank you guys.

746
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 8: That was the end of the concert. Yeah, yeah, you

747
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 8: get it. Guys, we're in the green room.

748
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're not going to the car now. We don't

749
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 4: need to go to the car right here.

750
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 2: We should do some rails and we should tell some stories.

751
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 8: I'd like some sweets, but that's what I really want

752
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 8: to do.

753
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 4: That's the difference between what you're saying and what I'm feeling.

754
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 4: I would really like to do that.

755
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 9: You have a difference between you thinking I don't don't

756
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 9: mean it in reality is that I absolutely would do.

757
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 8: The main thing is is we don't We don't ever

758
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,240
Speaker 8: address John's coke problem.

759
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:11,239
Speaker 4: Well, I don't have a problem to address that right

760
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,320
Speaker 4: away too, that I don't have a problem.

761
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 8: You do have a problem if if the only solution

762
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 8: is more coke.

763
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 4: I didn't say that was the only solution. I just

764
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 4: said the idea.

765
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 1: Is there another solution?

766
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:26,359
Speaker 4: You know what? Well, like a direct alternative to coke?

767
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, pour over dark roasted coffee.

768
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 4: Just a really good hug from a friend is always.

769
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: Nice, but the right friend got to be the right friend.

770
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, co cover coffee is a true white Russian? Do

771
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 8: you guys, welcome back to do you need a ride?

772
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 8: We just shared a comedy concert caught up in snippets.

773
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 8: I haven't done it yet.

774
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 1: No, it will be good.

775
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:50,879
Speaker 8: It's gonna be great.

776
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: And John Roy's with us in sitting sitting jar wait,

777
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:55,359
Speaker 1: shout out.

778
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 2: This is like a real green room.

779
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 4: Hang.

780
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 8: There's got to be John Rude around and see if

781
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 8: you can find another microphone.

782
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 4: And let's be honest. Let's be honest. Chris has had

783
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 4: a few drinks. So that's another reason why we're not

784
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 4: in the car. We're going to be driving in.

785
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 8: Yeah, but sometimes I get so drunk that I can't

786
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 8: even be a passenger. Is that a bad?

787
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 4: Yeah?

788
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: I get so drunk I can't podcast. Can you imagine? Terrible?

789
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 4: But you once got arrested for drinking and driving when

790
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 4: you were a passenger. That's how drunk you got.

791
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 8: It's funny this guy can't be within the vicinity or.

792
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 4: He causes cars to just fall off the cliff.

793
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 1: He's so drunk.

794
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,720
Speaker 2: He makes cars, He creates cliffs.

795
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 4: He creates clip.

796
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, he create cliff.

797
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 4: He Craig Cliff drinks ci Cliff cargo off.

798
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 9: There I have to say for this discussion, I'm just

799
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 9: so excited this show is over because it's stressed me out.

800
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 4: How did you feel?

801
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, it felt fine.

802
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 9: I don't know, I don't know.

803
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 4: You were lovely and hilarious and great and like it's

804
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 4: such a what's interesting if no?

805
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 2: Or yeah, well go ahead, okay.

806
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 4: I was gonna say a little bit because it's kind

807
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 4: of what you're doing now too, like the portion pull

808
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 4: of being sincere and revealing, but also the responsibility of

809
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 4: being a comedian, and that seems to be like a

810
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:16,280
Speaker 4: bit of a war even though the audience is fully

811
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 4: fucking enthralled with what you're doing.

812
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 1: I know, I don't care what they think.

813
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think, but you do a little bit right.

814
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,959
Speaker 2: Yes, because yeah, yeah, absolutely, because you see it.

815
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 9: I just almost feel like I need to tell them,

816
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 9: just in case there's one person that might think anything.

817
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 9: I need to be saying, like what the absolute truth

818
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 9: is exact thing which is not professional or like it's

819
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 9: not what most people do.

820
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 2: You kind of skim over that and pretend it's fine.

821
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 8: I do it all the time. I think you and

822
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 8: I have that.

823
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 2: In common in our performances.

824
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 8: Well, I call to the I call attention to truth.

825
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 8: Too often when I should just be like, I'm an

826
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 8: entertainer and you're fully engaged. Yeah, but can I just

827
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 8: after every CHOKEA guess what, John, You're about to get plugged.

828
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 4: Ready, I'm going to say something related.

829
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,760
Speaker 1: And then build up to full talking.

830
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 8: Look at this, Chris, We're now doing full the cans

831
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 8: as they say, right now I can. Hey, John, welcome

832
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 8: to the podcast.

833
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thanks.

834
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 8: For having this is the first.

835
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 4: Thanks for having.

836
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: Four people for four on the floor.

837
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 6: Oh my okay, that's it's not allowing.

838
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 4: That a troop now it is. There's a Canadian. There

839
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 4: was a Canadian is it?

840
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,319
Speaker 1: I thought it was carving on the.

841
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 12: Floor is what they described, like Charlie Watts playing like

842
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 12: you know, just record before.

843
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 4: There was also a Canadian sketch troop called four on

844
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 4: the Floor. At one point they had like no idea,

845
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 4: I honestly have no idea, but they did. I'll pull

846
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:56,839
Speaker 4: it up here. But they had like I think they did,

847
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 4: like comedic songs and stuff. I think they had a

848
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 4: TV show for a bit too. Mister seventies, no eighties

849
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 4: for sure.

850
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, the floor Like if I.

851
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 4: Put in are you familiar with something called mister canoe head.

852
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 4: Oh look it came right, of course, I am Canadian

853
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 4: Google right now, four on the floor. It's a Canadian. Yeah,

854
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 4: it's Google.

855
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 1: I get some good reviews.

856
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 9: I was dressed like a nun and that guy's dressed

857
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 9: like a mister cawhead.

858
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 1: It's amazing.

859
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 12: Mister Canehead is not only the name of the character,

860
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,240
Speaker 12: but there's a drawing of a man with a canoe

861
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 12: for heaving, so it's not it's not like metaphorical.

862
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 4: I think it was a guy who got struck by

863
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 4: lightning while walking through the woods wearing an aluminum canoe.

864
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 4: I can't remember, I can hearry. He was recurring for sure,

865
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 4: and it weld into his head, so he was mister canoehead. Yeah,

866
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:46,280
Speaker 4: but going back second, because like I have to stop

867
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 4: and tell these guys to be quiet there.

868
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 8: Well wait, okay, god, that must have been a funny joke.

869
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 8: There's another podcast going.

870
00:44:58,600 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 6: On in the night.

871
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 2: Trying to make it's.

872
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 4: Called it's called they're doing a podcast called podcast Ruiners,

873
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 4: and they trying to do a podcast where they travel

874
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 4: around trying to ruin other.

875
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 9: People's pocket and it's super easy because there's always podcasts everywhere.

876
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, so everyone outside man and the car back.

877
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 4: Your laughing and a bunch of ship man they've done that.

878
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 4: It's pretty. But no, I was gonna say, because when

879
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 4: you were doing okay, uh, there is like that push

880
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 4: and pull, like the struggle to be sincere and also

881
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 4: combined with the comedy. But you know when you do

882
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:34,919
Speaker 4: comment on things and you are you aware like that's

883
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,839
Speaker 4: just you reacting in the moment, But are you trying

884
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 4: to be funding in those moments or is that you

885
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 4: trying to recover from something that makes you maybe feel

886
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:41,919
Speaker 4: a bit.

887
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: Awkward or no, yes, it's all those.

888
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 4: All those things because it's funny. So that's kind of

889
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 4: what makes the show doom, you think. And it's first

890
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 4: talking about maybe because tonight and you could even play

891
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 4: a clip from it if you wanted to, not trying

892
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 4: to produce. But as a micro.

893
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 6: Manager, I don't have that kind of editing capability.

894
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 4: But it was hilarious. Time to open up garage man,

895
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 4: but tonight would get better because of him. But tonight,

896
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 4: tonight when you said tonight, when you said you said,

897
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 4: not closing on that, and it wasn't even like a

898
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 4: second and a half after, not even half a second

899
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 4: after you'd finished the joke.

900
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 8: Hilarious.

901
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 12: Also, let it do a sing song.

902
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 8: Like something isn't working, you gotta mug it up vocally.

903
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you're you're you're contributing to Yeah, you know

904
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 4: what the audience is, You're feeling the audience and yeah,

905
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 4: we know where I went wrong, where.

906
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 8: I went out and I actually started feeling the audience started.

907
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:42,800
Speaker 9: But we did a podcast and we did this weird

908
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 9: show at this art place downtown.

909
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 1: Tony Bartaloni, right, he was a lovely man. We love him.

910
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 9: He's great, huge comedy fan himself. But it was I

911
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 9: felt like I ate it, like literally silence and I

912
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 9: just had that rage and that feeling after a set.

913
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 9: And we talk about it in a podcast, me, Henry

914
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,840
Speaker 9: Phillips and Chris. Then Chris plays a clip in the

915
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 9: podcast and there's totally laughter. And after that podcast, I

916
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 9: realized I'm way crazier than I even realize I am.

917
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 1: Like I think I'm pretty aware.

918
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 9: Of how crazy I am, but I'm super fucking crazy.

919
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 9: And I just can't even trust my own experience when

920
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 9: I'm on stage because it's always worst case scenario.

921
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 2: In a way that I can't hear it, like I can't.

922
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 2: It always feels like I need to recover, even.

923
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 4: Though I don't need to feel tonight, like like let's

924
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 4: say like a perfect show, ten out of ten, how

925
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 4: would you feel tonight was? Oh, it was great. It

926
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 4: was great.

927
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 9: It was like above the line, you know what I mean,

928
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 9: Like I doesn't win.

929
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 1: I felt happy.

930
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 12: Then song you actually you've made a prediction of that

931
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 12: it would go wrong in a certain way and they

932
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 12: would give you plight chuckles, and you had like a

933
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 12: whole nightmare scenario. Yeah, and then you said we'll see

934
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 12: how it measured up.

935
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 4: How did you feel.

936
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:57,359
Speaker 1: That it measured up?

937
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 9: Yeah, better than I thought it was going to. Because

938
00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 9: actually that song rhythmically is really hard to play. Why

939
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:06,720
Speaker 9: because it's this it's a way of playing the guitar

940
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 9: that's like it seems super simple, and it's actually like

941
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:12,359
Speaker 9: it goes like one two three one two.

942
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,399
Speaker 2: It's this weird thing that's not standing and.

943
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 4: You're dancing, yes, an E minor and g was it?

944
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 4: I couldn't tell, but like you were dancing between chords

945
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 4: and it fell, Yes, they're coming.

946
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 1: On weird, it's very weird.

947
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 9: And then like it's easy to lose your place and

948
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 9: I knew if I tripped up once then I would

949
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:30,319
Speaker 9: be like, why are you even doing this?

950
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 8: In the first it's like the national anthem. If I'm

951
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,479
Speaker 8: not mistaken, guys, go ahead, go ahead, and the star

952
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 8: spangled banner saying yeah.

953
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 4: No, no, But I know when you say national anthem,

954
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 4: I know what you're talking about.

955
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're assuming because you're in this country.

956
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 4: It's far Yes, I adapt, by the way, and I,

957
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 4: by the way, green card holder here, so oh yeah,

958
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 4: permanent residence. Actually hold good, actually hold.

959
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 2: Above his head like John Cusack and say, any show

960
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 2: my green.

961
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:04,280
Speaker 4: Card just for fun? But is there anything more embarrassing pressure?

962
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 4: I like, and I do feel like you know, when

963
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 4: you're walking watching a hockey game and it's you know,

964
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:12,879
Speaker 4: Canada versus you know, like an American team versus lead,

965
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,520
Speaker 4: or Canada versus the United States Olympics or something, and

966
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,439
Speaker 4: you hear the national anthem, Okay, you feel a little

967
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 4: bit of pride, But then when you hear the star

968
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,240
Speaker 4: spangled banner kick and you're like, oh, our national anthem

969
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 4: doesn't even hold a candle.

970
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 1: Don't you guys have going to say the opposite?

971
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 4: No, not at all. I think you don't like I

972
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 4: like okay, I like, oh no, I'm saying that I

973
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 4: like Canada. But I'm saying when starts from the banner

974
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 4: kicks in, it's got like rockets, Red Blair, jumping octaves,

975
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:38,720
Speaker 4: more opportunity for like experience. I don't know, I'm just

976
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,879
Speaker 4: it seems like a madness song for the Olympics song.

977
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 4: I don't even know what the Olympics song is.

978
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:48,919
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's right, it's.

979
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 4: The same thing. It's close. Yeah, yeah, it seems like

980
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 4: what your whole star wars as well.

981
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 8: You've handled your green card to Karen, and as I

982
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,479
Speaker 8: saw it past, I noticed it was not at all green.

983
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:03,319
Speaker 4: It's great it is.

984
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 2: It's green, like how many is green? Hardly it's not

985
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 2: bright green.

986
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 8: You're always Jacky Khaki at best.

987
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 1: You thought there'd be little lepermon my Khaki car.

988
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 6: Well, yeah, tossed it by the way, well.

989
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 4: Akaki card holding permanent residence.

990
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 6: You know, it's funny now that I'm looking at it,

991
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:22,240
Speaker 6: it is quite green.

992
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 1: Did you win that in the lottery?

993
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 4: They have to shove it.

994
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,399
Speaker 6: Down everyone's throat with Lady Liberty on there.

995
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 4: Everything, we went there and circled back around. Everyone held

996
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 4: it did you say, late lady Liberty? Did you just

997
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 4: say lady Liberty?

998
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 1: No, Chris did it?

999
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 4: Oh you said lady, I did say it.

1000
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: I said, did you win it in the lottery?

1001
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 4: No? I did not, because Lynn.

1002
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 1: You know, I know so much about Canada, because Lynn

1003
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 1: and I were roommates.

1004
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 9: Yes, Lyn Chalkcraft, and she is a Canadian who I

1005
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 9: met very early on when I moved here. And then

1006
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 9: she would tell me things like how the money is

1007
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,960
Speaker 9: called the looney and the blooney, or she told me

1008
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 9: about chicken fries. We used to lay around and she

1009
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 9: would tell me Canadian stories and be like I got

1010
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 9: hit by a truck once and then I just went

1011
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 9: right into.

1012
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 1: The emergency room. It was free. I was like, what

1013
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:13,800
Speaker 1: tell it again? Had all kinds of Canadian stories.

1014
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, but and I know that story so well too,

1015
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 4: Like Lynn did get hit by a car once and

1016
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:19,880
Speaker 4: had to go to the hospital, like she broke her legs,

1017
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 4: and like ages ago, I.

1018
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,479
Speaker 6: Think the car broke her legs. Me, the car broke

1019
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 6: her legs.

1020
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 1: But go on, you mean like she didn't do it

1021
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 1: her show, he.

1022
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:29,840
Speaker 6: Didn't break her own legs.

1023
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 1: Well, you don't know, were going.

1024
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna step going down.

1025
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, he is very accurate.

1026
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 8: Take holes in story.

1027
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 4: Aboriginal fun for comments right now.

1028
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:49,280
Speaker 8: You know what I know a little bit about history

1029
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 8: and the Aboriginals where the first Australians with stomach muscles.

1030
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 6: A lot of the shows.

1031
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 8: That's funny how a lot of it's was a thinker.

1032
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 4: It's not just a Karen said, what is her? She

1033
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:05,799
Speaker 4: switched it.

1034
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 2: Ew that's really made to hear.

1035
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 8: It's a sinker. It's a thinker and.

1036
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 6: Good thing and then it makes you say.

1037
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, but yeah, no, Lynn has got some great Canadian

1038
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 4: stories for sure. But yeah, that's one of them. Is

1039
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 4: like up there, we do have this thing called uh uh.

1040
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: It's pretty good.

1041
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:35,399
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1042
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 12: I mean for I'm uninsurable because I had a heart

1043
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:43,080
Speaker 12: thing when I but yeah, I got the Obamacare.

1044
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 4: A month thing. Okay, so fifty bucks a month. You

1045
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,439
Speaker 4: do have some healthcare whears before you were completely Here's

1046
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 4: what happened. I had.

1047
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 12: I had there's a state that I lived in that

1048
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 12: had a Tennesse that I could be in Illinois.

1049
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:02,359
Speaker 4: So when I lived in Illinois, I had healthcare Illinois Tennessee. Yeah,

1050
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 4: because they.

1051
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 12: Had a pool for people like me, and so when

1052
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 12: I moved here, I didn't Kitty Pool.

1053
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:10,440
Speaker 4: He moved here having the stars and in Illinois just

1054
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:12,919
Speaker 4: get health insurance dog battle only here.

1055
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 12: And so now I didn't have insurance for like two years,

1056
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:17,719
Speaker 12: and I went to the hospital in day because I

1057
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:18,879
Speaker 12: had twenty four thousand dollars bill.

1058
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 4: Ye, no one's paying that, that's right, it's not gonna happen.

1059
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 4: But now if that were to happen, then thinking when

1060
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 4: learning had set so John can't even tell what I'm talking.

1061
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,399
Speaker 1: Thank god, Yeah, I'm talking.

1062
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 2: It's so crazy whispering. You won't even know until socialized whispering.

1063
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: It's all free.

1064
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 4: Canada has a socialized whisper.

1065
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 6: I don't think I happened.

1066
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:44,839
Speaker 4: Secrets all your life free secrets here.

1067
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,720
Speaker 8: I don't think I know. I'm gonna go ahead and admit,

1068
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 8: admit or admit that I don't know. I don't know Canada.

1069
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 8: I don't know Canada.

1070
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 4: I don't think I do.

1071
00:53:56,680 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 8: If you don't want, oh home man Native Land.

1072
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:03,840
Speaker 4: Which.

1073
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 2: Free emergency rooms and buy a car.

1074
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 4: Or not, will take you Blue Common and we'll take

1075
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 4: a look.

1076
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 6: You have bing fries, maples upon them.

1077
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:31,839
Speaker 9: It's quired, it's night Hotey night, everybody turn on hot Night.

1078
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,360
Speaker 8: Isn't it funny that we went into an accent that

1079
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 8: doesn't exist?

1080
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's close. What did you say a song?

1081
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 4: Commercials country commercials have Yeah, Tim Horton's commercials would have

1082
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:51,919
Speaker 4: a theme You're always at home? Or is that it?

1083
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,840
Speaker 4: It's you're always at home? Is that it? You're always

1084
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:59,200
Speaker 4: at home? Is that they're always at home? I like,

1085
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 4: so that's how No, I think it's like you're always

1086
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 4: at home? Is that it? Hold on You're always at home?

1087
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:13,800
Speaker 4: Is that it? Hold on You're always at home? That yeah,

1088
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 4: that's no, no, no, no, but genuinely, it's like you're

1089
00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 4: always at home? Is that it? You're always at home?

1090
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 6: I like their old hold hold.

1091
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:27,879
Speaker 4: On You're always at home and Tim Horton's something like that.

1092
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 6: Is that that is?

1093
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 15: That?

1094
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 4: Is it? Is that? It is that?

1095
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:34,960
Speaker 8: I like their old jingle that says Tim Hortons, you

1096
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 8: want cold sandwiches and kind of hot coffee, bland and ship.

1097
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:46,400
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, well yeah, Tim Horans used to be

1098
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 4: a hockey player. You know that Mortons was a hockey player.

1099
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 8: Hockey player, hockey player played, Oh possibly.

1100
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 4: That was my Steve Coogan and right there. Oh God,

1101
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 4: have you guys watched Alpha Papa the Steve Coogan movie?

1102
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 4: Did you see it? Did you enjoy it?

1103
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:12,640
Speaker 2: I love everything?

1104
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 4: Does me too? Yeah, it's a great move. Alpha Papa

1105
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:17,640
Speaker 4: the Alan Partridge movie.

1106
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:18,759
Speaker 8: Oh really?

1107
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 4: Do you know? They're making another one?

1108
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:20,239
Speaker 5: Now?

1109
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 6: What's that?

1110
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:22,399
Speaker 4: They're making another one? Oh?

1111
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:23,319
Speaker 1: Like a sequel to that?

1112
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 4: Yeah? Well, I don't know if it's gonna be. Yeah,

1113
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:27,319
Speaker 4: I guess it would be a sequel. They're gonna make

1114
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 4: a second one. And they're also making more of the

1115
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 4: mid Morning Matter show that he did. They're making more

1116
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 4: of them. First, the radio show. No, oh, you may

1117
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 4: not have seen me in Morning Matters. It's the YouTube

1118
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:38,800
Speaker 4: show sponsored by Foster's.

1119
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 1: No I didn't see. I have to see it.

1120
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 4: He's now on Norfolk Digital okay, or as Partridge would say,

1121
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,760
Speaker 4: he always says North, you're listening to North. You're listening

1122
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 4: to Norfolk Digital North Norfolk Digital Radio anyway himself. But yeah,

1123
00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 4: he did twelve or ten episode was total.

1124
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:00,520
Speaker 1: To see that.

1125
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:01,560
Speaker 4: What would I start with?

1126
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 12: If all I know is to Michael came bid from

1127
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:03,800
Speaker 12: the trip?

1128
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 4: What would I need I could start with? To be honestly,

1129
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,400
Speaker 4: I'd start later than earlier, I'd go to I'm Alan

1130
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,919
Speaker 4: Partridge season one and season two, and then you can

1131
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 4: yeah if you like that, keep going.

1132
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 12: Okay, Well, I like British.

1133
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 4: I just got done with the thicke It. I watched

1134
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:20,479
Speaker 4: all night like I love Brittish stuff.

1135
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 9: He's the greatest. That character is so so good, brilliant.

1136
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 2: The writing is so happy.

1137
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 4: Yea makes me happier than the best.

1138
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 9: Is when he walks in and he's singing, and is

1139
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 9: it this is Alan Partridge, which I can't remember which one.

1140
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,920
Speaker 1: Is, when he lives in the the motel.

1141
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why I'm Alan Partridges.

1142
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: That's I'm an. When he walks in singing Kate Bush's

1143
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 1: Wuthering Heights.

1144
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 9: He's like, I want to do I needed to do whatever,

1145
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 9: And then the woman behind that counter goes.

1146
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 4: Go Jason that he goes, yeah, my god. And then

1147
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 4: his assistant just tries so hard and he treats her

1148
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 4: like ship.

1149
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 1: It's the best.

1150
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 2: If you haven't seen I am it, that's im Alan Partridge.

1151
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 4: I'm Alan Partrick. Yeah, season like Larry Sanders.

1152
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 12: I mean it's.

1153
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 4: To a point like he does a radio show. That's

1154
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 4: as close as it comes to.

1155
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 1: But it's character is so huge.

1156
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 4: It's like solely character driven. It's completely driven by like

1157
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 4: Steve Coogan's character Alan Partrick, which has been developed over

1158
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 4: years and years over different formats, and then this is

1159
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 4: his He did another show, Knowing Me.

1160
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,480
Speaker 2: Knowing You, Yes, which is also hilarious.

1161
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 4: It's great. Yeah, but I like him operating in a

1162
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 4: real world as opposed to like that's you're watching a show,

1163
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 4: You're watching a TV show, and it's him on a

1164
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:42,880
Speaker 4: stage being a talk show host the whole show, whereas

1165
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 4: this is like him walking through life in you know, Norfolk,

1166
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 4: where Norfolk whee from its Norfolk? Norfolk? It is Norfolk.

1167
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 4: They're not pronouncing it right.

1168
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 8: It's funny that it might be three L's one of

1169
00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 8: the reasons I never watched it and why I've kind

1170
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 8: of tapped out on this conversation.

1171
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:03,400
Speaker 1: Because you don't like it.

1172
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 4: Okay, I don't.

1173
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 8: Know anything about what you're talking about, don't kind I

1174
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 8: kind of don't know who Steve Coogan is.

1175
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 1: That movie.

1176
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:18,880
Speaker 8: I think it's about it's New Order kind of well yeah,

1177
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 8: New Order.

1178
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:21,479
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I thought you said Order.

1179
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 8: It's about their version of Hoarders, Yeah Order, yeah, yeah,

1180
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 8: the New Division, Joy Division transferring into being a New Order.

1181
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 12: I got into that movie until they tried to tell

1182
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 12: me that the Happy Mondays were a great band.

1183
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 9: Yeah, you can't really swallow that one this movie right now,

1184
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 9: that's not true.

1185
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:44,440
Speaker 4: It's the band that's what about stole all their equipment

1186
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 4: New Order. That's sarcastic laughter, Chris.

1187
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 2: I don't know that they can be done pretty soon.

1188
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:55,800
Speaker 1: I want to go eat.

1189
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's be done now. I mean I have to

1190
00:59:59,520 --> 00:59:59,760
Speaker 4: dry a.

1191
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 1: Should we have wrap up feelings?

1192
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:03,240
Speaker 4: Yeah? What should we do for the rapout? Should be

1193
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 4: some sort of like closure to this. You guys run

1194
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 4: your show? What the fuck happens? Oh man?

1195
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 8: You took your front deal though. I made it my

1196
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 8: back dill. Though, yeah, I didn't pull up my shirt

1197
01:00:13,760 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 8: enough for people to see it. And honestly, I don't

1198
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,360
Speaker 8: think that during your set people even knew that that

1199
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 8: came out, at least during the recording of this, because

1200
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:24,400
Speaker 8: visually no one sees your fake front deck. Well, and

1201
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 8: then I made it my back back dick, and then

1202
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 8: I don't think that anyone would recognize that that it

1203
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 8: was actually a real back dick.

1204
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:32,280
Speaker 1: Are you saying.

1205
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 8: If given the option of having two dicks now.

1206
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 6: And I want to make this.

1207
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 4: Point if you will in a second. But if people

1208
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 4: were just listening to that point, and that's that sentence

1209
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 4: you just explained, is enough to drive some crazy. If

1210
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 4: they were on the verge, I want to know what

1211
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,720
Speaker 4: we were talking about, they would go crazy.

1212
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 8: I'm just simply trying to make the argument that if

1213
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 8: I were given the gift of having two dicks, I

1214
01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 8: would not, like a lot of people I know, have

1215
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:03,160
Speaker 8: a dick on each hip and ignore mine, my god

1216
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:05,960
Speaker 8: given I would have one up front, one in the

1217
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 8: center of my middle back because think of the scenarios

1218
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 8: A lot of people would have them, like six shooters,

1219
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 8: like oh.

1220
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:20,640
Speaker 15: Here's yeah, two girls back to back, ones uh aimed

1221
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 15: at your front, ones aimed at your back, and then

1222
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 15: you kind of go between them and then you have sex.

1223
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 1: With I feel like that's the logical place.

1224
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 8: Thank you, Karen Well. I understand people hip to hip,

1225
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 8: but those are dance Those are people that want to dance. Well,

1226
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 8: so you go, you hip rate and you got so

1227
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 8: imagine you have penises on both your hips and you're

1228
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:41,800
Speaker 8: like two little.

1229
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 1: Girls girls to.

1230
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,600
Speaker 4: A little but ladies.

1231
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know that when I say little girls.

1232
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 8: A lot of people get up in arms, but I'm

1233
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 8: talking about two adult consenting except thirty year old tea ladies.

1234
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:05,240
Speaker 8: And then so I want.

1235
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 2: Because it's a decent age.

1236
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's right. I'm at the age worth thirty.

1237
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 1: It's not gross.

1238
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 8: Okay, So anyway, thank you for having me.

1239
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 4: By the way, I enjoyed myself thoroughly the entire evening,

1240
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:15,040
Speaker 4: and the show is great. It was fun.

1241
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 8: Are you trying to change the subject.

1242
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 4: I'm just telling you, thank you? Well, why can't it

1243
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 4: but not? Whold on is sa? Why can't a grown

1244
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:25,240
Speaker 4: man stop things and say thank you? Why can't I

1245
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 4: be sincere for a moment? Why can't I be?

1246
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 8: Just listen? John, I know you've most a number of

1247
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:33,479
Speaker 8: Canadian shows. However, on this show, I am the home

1248
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 8: and I am the one who wraps it up. So

1249
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 8: when you go willy nilly to use your dumb Canadian language,

1250
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 8: I am the one that ends the shows.

1251
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,680
Speaker 1: I like suggest that we start doing Anyway podcast in

1252
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:47,560
Speaker 1: this green room.

1253
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 8: John, during other shows, I'm really glad that you were

1254
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:53,040
Speaker 8: on the show too, and I'm about to wrap it

1255
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:53,760
Speaker 8: up myself.

1256
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:55,680
Speaker 1: I'm also the host of the show What do I

1257
01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 1: get to do?

1258
01:02:56,440 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, look, Karen do something and instead of you the host,

1259
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:04,400
Speaker 8: Karen and I are going to wrap it up simultaneously.

1260
01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:06,000
Speaker 4: Chris is wrapping it up right now.

1261
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:10,040
Speaker 2: I'm talking because we have to lock in.

1262
01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:11,160
Speaker 1: That's right.

1263
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,360
Speaker 8: Just as an aside to you, right now, you know what,

1264
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 8: Karen and I are going to do it together.

1265
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:20,400
Speaker 1: Who as a side, Oh, I have a really good

1266
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 1: low voice.

1267
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:22,080
Speaker 8: You're peaking.

1268
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:23,120
Speaker 4: You're peaking.

1269
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 1: I thought I was whispering.

1270
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:29,600
Speaker 4: Level she was.

1271
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:32,760
Speaker 6: She was banging it against her moving lips.

1272
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 4: Did you peak? Did you take a look at the level.

1273
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 1: I peaked it?

1274
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 4: Okay?

1275
01:03:36,800 --> 01:03:39,200
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, this is the perfect time.

1276
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 4: Okay, Grey, Well, thank you for having me.

1277
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,640
Speaker 1: That's so loud peking you guys.

1278
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 8: You've been listening to.

1279
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 6: Do you need a ride? Alright? D y n A

1280
01:03:53,920 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 6: R Hong Kong? Look out?

1281
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 1: Oh got the hospital is free?

1282
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 4: Okay, good good.

1283
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go get some chicken fans.

1284
01:04:05,600 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 4: Okay, morphine.

1285
01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 8: Maybe you should go to the hospital and take care

1286
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:10,200
Speaker 8: of those chicken fans.

1287
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:13,760
Speaker 4: You always have to have a chick You always have time?

1288
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:16,680
Speaker 4: Is that it? You always have time? Is that it?

1289
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 5: That?

1290
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 4: Was it?

1291
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:18,920
Speaker 6: I leaving?

1292
01:04:19,520 --> 01:04:21,880
Speaker 2: You want to way back home.

1293
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 3: Either way you want to be there, doesn't matter how much.

1294
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:28,840
Speaker 1: Baggage you clay.

1295
01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 3: Give us time and they turning on and gage. We

1296
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:37,320
Speaker 3: want to send you off inside.

1297
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 1: We want to welcome you back home.

1298
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:43,760
Speaker 5: Tell us all about it.

1299
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 1: We scared or was it fine?

1300
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:47,880
Speaker 4: Now?

1301
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:50,080
Speaker 7: Porn?

1302
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?

1303
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:07,640
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?

1304
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?

1305
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:11,520
Speaker 1: Do your need to ride?

1306
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:13,560
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?

1307
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:16,040
Speaker 13: Do you need ride?

1308
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?

1309
01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 12: Do you need

1310
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 6: With Karen and Chriss