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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you

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Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is

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Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with

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Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for joining me for session three forty seven for Black

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Speaker 1: Girl's Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation after a

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Speaker 1: word from our sponsors. Have you ever dreamed of a

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Speaker 1: meaningful life abroad where your days are spent basking in

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Speaker 1: local natural wonders and surrounded by new language, food, and culture.

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Speaker 1: A kind of life that swaps your career driven lifestyle

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Speaker 1: for a life centric existence. While it may sound like

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Speaker 1: a whimsical fantasy, it is indeed possible to plan a

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Speaker 1: life you love in another country. Proof of that are

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Speaker 1: today's guests, Rashida Dow and Stephanie Perry. Both women are

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Speaker 1: passionate proponents of career breaks, sabbaticals, and grown up gap years.

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Speaker 1: In twenty twenty, they founded the Exodus Summit, an organization

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Speaker 1: that shows black women ways to plan their exodus, all

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Speaker 1: while fostering community. Since the creation of Exodus Summit, hundreds

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Speaker 1: of their members have taken a career break, moved abroad,

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Speaker 1: or begun living nomadically. During our conversation, Rashida and Stephanie

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Speaker 1: answer all the questions you might have around financing your

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Speaker 1: move abroad, pouring into the local community as a foreigner,

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Speaker 1: and announcing your sabbatical to your employers and family. If

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Speaker 1: something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share

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Speaker 1: with us on social media using the hashtag TVG in session,

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Speaker 1: or join us over in the Sister Circle to talk

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Speaker 1: more about the episode. You can join us at community

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Speaker 1: dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. Here's our conversation. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for joining me today. I had the

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Speaker 1: pleasure of joining you recently as a speaker at your

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Speaker 1: Exodus summits. I'm very glad to have you on Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Black Girls today.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having us.

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Speaker 3: We're so excited to be here.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you. So I mentioned the Exodus Summit,

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Speaker 1: and the Exodus Summit is a virtual conference for Black

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Speaker 1: women planning a sabbatical, x fat move or nomadic life abroad.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell me what inspired you to create the

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Speaker 1: platform and what need do you feel like it fulfills.

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Speaker 2: Stephanie and I connected through our own sabbaticals. I took one,

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Speaker 2: Stephanie took one. We met during that time, and Stephanie

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Speaker 2: came to me one day with the great idea of

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Speaker 2: creating a summit for Black women who wanted to move abroad,

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Speaker 2: take a sabbatical, you know, really explore the world on

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Speaker 2: their own. And this is twenty twenty. We were going

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Speaker 2: to give everyone all the infobaing needed at one time.

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Speaker 2: Our first summit had fifty something speakers and forty something sessions.

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Speaker 2: It was a seven day blur and I've blocked out

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Speaker 2: some of it, but we were going to do that

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Speaker 2: and then that was it. We started a Facebook group

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Speaker 2: for the members of that summit for that summit, and

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Speaker 2: our plan was to close the group when it was over,

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Speaker 2: and then everyone would have all the information we needed

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Speaker 2: right there at that first summit. But every time we

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Speaker 2: talked to our community about like this is being the end.

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Speaker 2: They were like, no, no, no, We'll see you in

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Speaker 2: the same place, same time next fall, bring us some

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Speaker 2: more speakers. And so I feel if our community started

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Speaker 2: started this right, we didn't have the intention of exodusmit

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Speaker 2: being what it is four years later for summits later.

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Speaker 2: We just knew that in the first year, we had

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Speaker 2: a lot of friends who we knew had valuable information

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Speaker 2: to share with our audience, and so we wanted to

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Speaker 2: get that out there so that more Black women could

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Speaker 2: see ways for the world to be accessible to them.

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Speaker 2: And so we did it one year and they won't

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Speaker 2: let us quit, so they keep doing it.

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Speaker 3: That's right. And the need it feels is any person

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Speaker 3: needs to see something to make that thing more possible,

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Speaker 3: more realistic in our lives. And so the need that

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Speaker 3: this feels is it gives black women a place and

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Speaker 3: a time to get together and see Black women living

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Speaker 3: in a way that it's different that goes against what

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Speaker 3: American culture is pressing you towards. You taught us off

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Speaker 3: to joy about possibility models. It gives a place for

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Speaker 3: the possibility models and the people with the dream or

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Speaker 3: the vision or the hope to get together and learn

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Speaker 3: from each other.

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Speaker 2: I love that. I love that.

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Speaker 1: So can you give us some definitions of these terms?

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Speaker 1: So what does it mean to be an expat or

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Speaker 1: for you to live a nomadic lifestyle?

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Speaker 3: So expat is just an immigrant, right. An expat is

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Speaker 3: a person who leaves their country, the country of their birth,

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Speaker 3: and goes to another place. Most of the women in

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Speaker 3: our community happen to be Americans, Canadians, some Caribbeans, some

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Speaker 3: British women, but most of us are going to a

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Speaker 3: new country. We do have some repats, some women who

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Speaker 3: are moving back to the country of their birth. But

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Speaker 3: it's just an immigrant, right. And then no mads or

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Speaker 3: just people who bop around, right. Our women love to

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Speaker 3: talk about the BAP right. It's just moving from place

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Speaker 3: to place. Having the powerful passports that most of us

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Speaker 3: have give us access to a lot of the world,

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Speaker 3: and nomadic living is just taking advantage of that. If

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Speaker 3: they will let you be in that country for three months,

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Speaker 3: you go and you move slowly in that place for

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Speaker 3: three months, or maybe you don't move at all, you.

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Speaker 2: Just go to one place.

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Speaker 3: But it's just about using the privileges that we do have.

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Speaker 3: Having these blue passports and going to countries or going

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Speaker 3: to places that we want to, not because someone says

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Speaker 3: that this is the place that black women should be visiting,

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Speaker 3: but visiting wherever in the world that you want to

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Speaker 3: see for as long as you want to and as

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Speaker 3: long as you can.

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Speaker 1: And Geita, you mentioned that y'all meant because you both

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Speaker 1: for taking a sabbatical. Can you say more about how

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Speaker 1: the sabbatical aspect plays into all of this.

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Speaker 2: We come upon a lot of women in our community,

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Speaker 2: and this is how I entered into it. I was working.

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Speaker 2: I had one of them good jobs, girl, but I

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Speaker 2: hated every moment of it. Every time I want to work,

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Speaker 2: I was like, is this the day I snapped? But

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Speaker 2: I don't know what me snapping looks like. How it

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Speaker 2: was manifesting was that I have some autoimmune issues, and

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Speaker 2: I got so mad one day at work that I

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Speaker 2: went and I walked two miles of the ocean and

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Speaker 2: two miles back. I stopped at the movies along the way,

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Speaker 2: and by the time I got back, I could barely see.

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Speaker 2: My autommune issue affects my eyes and I had a

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Speaker 2: flare even walking, even leaving, even going to the movies.

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Speaker 2: To sit there and like, chill did not bring me

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Speaker 2: down from the level of rage I was at in

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Speaker 2: that media I was in, and there were other ways

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Speaker 2: in which it was impacting my body. I was going

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Speaker 2: to a therapist at the time, and you know, sometimes

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Speaker 2: you're like I wasn't expecting that from my therapist. She

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, they sound like horrible people.

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Speaker 3: I was like, wait a minute, girl.

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Speaker 2: What what My workplace was going out of business and

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Speaker 2: I had the choice of getting another job or taking

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Speaker 2: so I had some fun saved. I thought about taking

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Speaker 2: some time off to travel the world for a year

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Speaker 2: because it'd always been a goal of mine and that's

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Speaker 2: how my career break. My therapist was like, go, like,

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Speaker 2: this is the time for you to go. Go do

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Speaker 2: it first. I'm gonna drop this real quick. She told

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Speaker 2: me to quiet quick. Before quiet quitting was a thing.

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Speaker 2: What she said to me at the time was what

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Speaker 2: is the least amount of work you can give them

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Speaker 2: and not get fired, because she was like, you're working

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Speaker 2: too hard to prove things to people who don't want

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Speaker 2: to see your value. You're gonna work yourself to death

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Speaker 2: and they're never going to acknowledge that you're giving them

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Speaker 2: what they're asking for and beyond, so stop it. She

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Speaker 2: was like, give them the least. And that changed my life.

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Speaker 2: And since then, I've been giving this message to anyone

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Speaker 2: who will listen, Like, we shouldn't be out there killing

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Speaker 2: ourselves to do the work at these jobs for people

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Speaker 2: who will never acknowledge our value because they're not interested

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Speaker 2: in acknowledging our value. And so I took a career break.

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Speaker 2: I took a year off, and in that year off,

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Speaker 2: I realized I could not go back to being in

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Speaker 2: an office and having those same commas again. I could

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Speaker 2: not allow someone else to bring my stress level to

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Speaker 2: a point where it immediately impacted my body. And so

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Speaker 2: the career break for me was a time to kind

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Speaker 2: of get back. The career break saved my life in

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Speaker 2: a way that I didn't know I needed. And so

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Speaker 2: I'm an advocate for any black woman because whoever is

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Speaker 2: listening to this right now will probably agree, as a

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Speaker 2: black woman, you are underpaid and overworked, right, And so

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Speaker 2: since that is the story for so many of us,

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Speaker 2: wherever we can, I recommend that women opt out find

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Speaker 2: another way, right. Like I went to law school and

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Speaker 2: so I was working as a lawyer and you know

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Speaker 2: you invest a lot of time to get that law degree.

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Speaker 2: I passed the bar in two stays. I did all

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Speaker 2: the things I was invested in my career. I was

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Speaker 2: working for a good company. If I stayed there, I

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Speaker 2: would have died. I know that to be true. That

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Speaker 2: I would have had some kind of breakdown. My body

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Speaker 2: would have broken down. It would have caused permanent damage

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Speaker 2: to me as a human if I stayed there. Now,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, ladies, what if instead of killing yourself up

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Speaker 2: a job that you hate, right, what if you took

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Speaker 2: a break, whether that is three weeks, three months, three years.

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Speaker 2: What if you took some time between leaving one job

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Speaker 2: that you hate and going to another job that you

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Speaker 2: hope might be better. But we know, right like we know?

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Speaker 2: And even if you don't hate your job, when's the

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Speaker 2: last time you got time for yourself? Time to say

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Speaker 2: what I want to pursue, who i'd like to be,

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Speaker 2: how much sleep I'd like to get. I didn't realize

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Speaker 2: how sleep deprived I was. And most people don't realize

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Speaker 2: how sleep deprived they are until they get an extended break.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes those extended breaks aren't voluntary. But if you

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Speaker 2: can take a voluntary extended break and say I'm going

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Speaker 2: to spend six months on a beach eating coconuts. Your

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Speaker 2: body is going to thank you, and you only get one, right,

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Speaker 2: And so I hear a lot of times from women

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Speaker 2: that like, oh, this is impossible for myself. But we

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Speaker 2: have a community of almost fourteen thousand women now who

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Speaker 2: are actively trying to make this happen for themselves. And

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Speaker 2: we have so many success stories of women who have

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Speaker 2: done it, who've retired earlier than they ever expected, who've

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Speaker 2: taken the breaks, and who on those breaks learned things

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Speaker 2: about themselves that will lead them to more satisfaction and

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Speaker 2: happiness than chasing the next dollar at the job.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds like those very early meetings that you

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Speaker 1: all had, that experience of kind of taking their first

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Speaker 1: sabbatical has radically changed both of your lives. So if

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Speaker 1: you are comfortable sharing where are you both now and

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? How did you end up being there?

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Speaker 1: I mean, how would you describe your lifestyle at this point?

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Speaker 3: I'm in San Jose, Costa Rica and I'm setting up

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Speaker 3: a home, getting residency and making San Jose, Costa Rica

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Speaker 3: my home. My career break happened just because I wanted

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Speaker 3: a year of travel without a job, having any say, right,

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Speaker 3: I wanted pictures for Instagram, Like seriously, I just want

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Speaker 3: to take cute pictures and lay in a hambit. But

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Speaker 3: that break introduced me to the rest of myself, right,

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Speaker 3: the me who wasn't worker Stephanie, but all of Stephanie.

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Speaker 3: That's why it's really hard to go back, no turn

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Speaker 3: it back. So where I am now post sabbatical, right

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Speaker 3: after career break is I've created an entire life where

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Speaker 3: I get to have a whole life and not work,

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Speaker 3: and then some other things I get to do that

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Speaker 3: fit around work. And so where I am is in

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Speaker 3: an amazing place, getting to really form community with people,

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Speaker 3: really have sisterhood and enjoy the sisterhood and reciprocate. Be

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Speaker 3: a sister to people, be a friend to people, be

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Speaker 3: in community with black women. Because I don't have the thing,

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Speaker 3: I don't have to squeeze these things in. I get

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Speaker 3: to make a whole life out of those things and

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Speaker 3: then squeeze and work when she can't. Okay, work has

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Speaker 3: to get in where it fits in. Work is not

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Speaker 3: my life anymore, it's not my priorities. It doesn't dictate

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Speaker 3: what I do, where I go, who I see anymore.

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Speaker 2: I am in Mexico City. I ended up here because

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Speaker 2: I'd been here about four times, and I came here

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Speaker 2: two or three times in my career break. The last

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Speaker 2: time in my career break that I came here, I

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Speaker 2: was with one of my best friends. She met me

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Speaker 2: down here for holidays and we met at the hotel

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Speaker 2: and walked out, so I had to go take a

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Speaker 2: walk and I walked around and I said, why don't

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Speaker 2: I live here? And she was like, why don't you?

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Speaker 2: I was speechless. I was like, I don't have an answer.

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Speaker 2: I had spent this was January, my career break, so

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Speaker 2: I'd spent about seven months traveling the world. Already, I

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Speaker 2: had experienced so many things, so many places, and yet

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Speaker 2: the idea of not moving back to America. And I

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Speaker 2: wasn't born in America, so my family are all immigrants.

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Speaker 2: It's not like we have deeply entrenched roots or anything.

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Speaker 2: But still, the idea of not moving back to America

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Speaker 2: was like people do, Oh yeah, my parents do that.

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Speaker 2: They moved in multiple other countries in their lifetime. I

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Speaker 2: can move to another country too, if I want to.

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Speaker 2: I just have to figure out what to do, and

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Speaker 2: now I have residency here. I've been here since twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 2: on and off, fully a resident since twenty twenty. I

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Speaker 2: love my life in Mexico City. I get to do

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Speaker 2: whatever I want. Steffanie and I spend about two and

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Speaker 2: a half months out of a year bossing each other around,

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Speaker 2: and the rest of the time we can do whatever

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Speaker 2: we want and go wherever we want. So even though

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Speaker 2: Mexico City is my home, I'm probably here six or

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Speaker 2: seven months out of a year, and the rest of

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Speaker 2: a time I'm somewhere else. I'm going to see Stephanie

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Speaker 2: in South Africa or how I be there for somewhere

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Speaker 2: in Africa for probably a month and a half together,

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Speaker 2: and then we're going on a cruise in the spring,

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Speaker 2: like we just together or apart. We built lives that

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Speaker 2: allow us to do the things we want from wherever.

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Speaker 2: And I know that for some people this sounds impossible,

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Speaker 2: But five years ago I was a corporate lawyer who

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Speaker 2: could not imagine this life. I was a corporate lawyer

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Speaker 2: who had to go to the office every day because

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Speaker 2: I worked at a company that people needed to see

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Speaker 2: me every day. They needed to come ask me their

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Speaker 2: stupid question every single day, right, And so the idea

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Speaker 2: that I'm living the life I'm living now was so

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Speaker 2: foreign to me that if anyone is thinking, yeah, you

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Speaker 2: can do that, but I can't remember that, I thought

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Speaker 2: that too in twenty eighteen. That's what I was thinking

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Speaker 2: before I went on breaking to that. Like not only

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Speaker 2: did I not have those possibility models, but like my

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Speaker 2: brain couldn't even accept it. Even when I was traveling

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Speaker 2: the world, I couldn't imagine the next step of moving abroad.

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Speaker 2: And so it's part of the reason we have this

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Speaker 2: conversation all the time is because Stephanie and I have

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Speaker 2: found a freedom that we couldn't have imagined years ago,

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Speaker 2: and we want other women to know they can get

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Speaker 2: it too, right, Like, it may not be today, it

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Speaker 2: may not be tomorrow, it may take some mark, but

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Speaker 2: it can be yours too if you want it.

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Speaker 1: So let's talk directly to these sisters now, because I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of people listening to this are like

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Speaker 1: absolutely not, Like, I don't even know where to start.

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Speaker 1: So if somebody is considering a change like this, what

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Speaker 1: kinds of questions do they need to ask themselves to

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Speaker 1: kind of start down this path.

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Speaker 3: I think the first thing you need to know is

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Speaker 3: what could your life look like in a different place.

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Speaker 3: Get a vision. Get an idea for yourself, the dreams right,

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Speaker 3: the things that when you're scrolling on Instagram you're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: must be nice, right. Get an idea for what your

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Speaker 3: life could look like. Then it makes it a little

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Speaker 3: easier to do the steps to work towards it. You

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Speaker 3: don't want to copy what Rashida did, what I did,

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Speaker 3: what somebody else did. So get an idea of what

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Speaker 3: would be amazing, even if you don't think it's possible today.

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Speaker 3: We want to start with a vision.

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Speaker 2: Stephanie starts you with your vision, and I'm going to

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Speaker 2: take you to what I think is the next step.

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Speaker 2: And what I always tell everyone, and that is do

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Speaker 2: the math. Through the math, what happened to me. The

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Speaker 2: situation most women I talk to are in is that

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Speaker 2: your starting place is it's not possible, And a lot

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Speaker 2: of it's not possible is related to money. Most people

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Speaker 2: start it's not possible without doing the math of how

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Speaker 2: much would that life actually cost me? And how much

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Speaker 2: money do I have access to right now or may

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Speaker 2: I have access to in the future. If I move

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Speaker 2: some things around, juggle, juggle, carry the one divide by six. Right,

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Speaker 2: What are the different ways that you can get money?

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Speaker 2: What are different ways that you can fund your lifestyle

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Speaker 2: overseas a lot of our women are doing remote work,

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Speaker 2: and that helps make it more accessible to them. Stephanie

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Speaker 2: is the house sitting queen. She's doctor house. We need

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Speaker 2: a new title for you, like doctor housing. One of

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Speaker 2: the ways I got introduced to Stephanie is she's a

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Speaker 2: house sitter who trains other people to become house sitters.

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Speaker 2: And house sitting provides free accommodations while you're traveling around

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Speaker 2: the world. So Stephanie's I was always so impressive for me.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna put her business in the streets. Stephanie's budget

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Speaker 2: when she traveled for one year was like fourteen thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars thousand, four hundred something like that.

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Speaker 3: Fourteen's four But let me tell you that was before

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Speaker 3: I knew about house sitting. Right after I started house sitting,

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Speaker 3: I spent six months in Mexico. I left with three thousand,

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Speaker 3: three or four thousand dollars and I came back with

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Speaker 3: some money still, Right, because when you don't have to

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Speaker 3: pay for a place to stay. You don't have a

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Speaker 3: lot of money to spend, you don't have to spend.

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Speaker 2: A whole lot. And so if a six month career

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Speaker 2: break in another country might only cost you less than

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Speaker 2: three or four thousand dollars, like, it sounds more accessible

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00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,919
Speaker 2: right now, doesn't it than the idea of who's going

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Speaker 2: to pay for this? Right? So get the dream right,

349
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Speaker 2: know what you want because you can't do the math

350
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Speaker 2: and know what you want. Figure out what you want

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Speaker 2: your life to look like, and then do the math

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Speaker 2: to figure out what that's gonna cost. And there are

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Speaker 2: a lot of resources online if you know what country

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Speaker 2: you want to go to, they're a lot of great

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Speaker 2: resources that will tell you about the cost of living

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Speaker 2: in those places. Add a little cushion. I always tell

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Speaker 2: people to add a little cushion to that when you're

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Speaker 2: doing your math. I don't want you broke overseas. No, No,

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Speaker 2: and then look at what that cost compared to the

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Speaker 2: life you're living right now. What we see for most

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Speaker 2: people is when they go overseas, they don't want to

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Speaker 2: come back because they're living an equal or nicer life

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Speaker 2: for less money. And that doesn't mean that every other

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Speaker 2: place is less expensive than the US. I live in

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Speaker 2: Mexico City. It is less expensive than some cities in

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Speaker 2: the US, but it's more expensive than some cities in

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Speaker 2: the US. And so you know, you're just going to

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Speaker 2: have to figure out a place that's right for you,

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Speaker 2: that can fit in your budget, that's going to give

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Speaker 2: you a lifestyle you want and that feels right right, Like,

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Speaker 2: you don't want to leave a life you may not

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Speaker 2: be in love with for a life. It's just like

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Speaker 2: it's not America, right, Like, that's not what we want

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Speaker 2: for you. We want you to walk into your joy,

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Speaker 2: into what feels like freedom and what is expansive for you,

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Speaker 2: what gives you the space to become the person you've

377
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,920
Speaker 2: always known you can be, and you can do that

378
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 2: for not a lot of money. Around the world, we're

379
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,200
Speaker 2: telling you like it can be done. And so every

380
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 2: time we hear a success story, we love taking credit

381
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,120
Speaker 2: our women go out and get it, and every time

382
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Speaker 2: we see it, we're like, yes, we did that. But

383
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Speaker 2: it's so much joy in seeing black women around the world,

384
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Speaker 2: and we see them now creating communities, get it together

385
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 2: for brunch in Rwanda. Right all around the world, we're

386
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Speaker 2: seeing our women create their communities in ways that existed

387
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Speaker 2: when we took our break, but not in the amount

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Speaker 2: that we're seeing right now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's step number three, right, get in community.

390
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Speaker 3: You're not going to have the same people who encourage

391
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Speaker 3: you and support you and cheer you on when you

392
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Speaker 3: go back to school, when you buy a house or

393
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 3: bigger house, when you take in your niece's kids, And

394
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Speaker 3: the same people who support you doing the most aren't

395
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 3: necessarily the same people who are going to support you

396
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 3: when you decide to do the least, When you decide

397
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 3: to start doing as little as possible, you may need

398
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 3: a newer community. Not that you're going to need to

399
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 3: distance yourself from the previous community, but you may need

400
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 3: new people who get it. And so as number three,

401
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 3: get in community with people who are moving in this direction.

402
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,440
Speaker 3: There's a lot of messaging out there that we're supposed

403
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 3: to stay and struggle, right, We're supposed to just make

404
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 3: ourselves as comfortable as we can in a situation of struggle,

405
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 3: as opposed to just walk away from the struggle. There's

406
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 3: a lot of messaging that black women are here to

407
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 3: save people. We're here to save the world, We're here

408
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 3: to save democracy. We gotta save the country, we gotta

409
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 3: save black families, we gotta save the church. Right, And

410
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:42,879
Speaker 3: so when you say, you know what, I'm going to

411
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Speaker 3: take some time, whatever period of time, Well, i'm gonna

412
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 3: take some time. I'm gonna spend that time with me

413
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 3: focusing on what I want to do and listening to me.

414
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Speaker 3: You are going to need community with people who like that,

415
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 3: because a lot of people will not like that.

416
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Speaker 2: Because we talk about this all the time online, we

417
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 2: have people who react negatively to what we're doing in

418
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 2: ways that astound me because you don't know me. I'm

419
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 2: not impacting your life at all. Every once in a while,

420
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: as people seem to think that like it's some sort

421
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 2: of like trafficking or like we're stealing black women from America,

422
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 2: and it's like, I don't even see these women, like

423
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 2: they go to where they want to go. I wasn't

424
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 2: at that brunch in Rwanda, right, but they were there

425
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 2: and they're happy and they found their joy. We don't

426
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 2: tell you where to go. If you ask us for ideas,

427
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,919
Speaker 2: right and you give us your criteria, we might have

428
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,880
Speaker 2: some ideas that might fit it, but we're not telling

429
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,679
Speaker 2: you where to go. We're not telling you when to go,

430
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 2: when to be there. We just want whatever looks like

431
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 2: freedom and joy to you to be something that you

432
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,479
Speaker 2: can grasp in your hands, because it's so rare that

433
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 2: in America we are allowed to do that. Right, You're

434
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 2: not allowed to touch your happiness in America. There's always

435
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 2: got to be something more. You get the house, like

436
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 2: Stephanie said, but what about the next house, what about

437
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 2: the bigger house? What about the vacation home? Right, there's

438
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 2: no enough you get the education Black women and higher education,

439
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 2: the answer is always go get another degree when you

440
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: know it's not going to solve the problem, because a

441
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 2: problem isn't that you're not qualified enough. The problem black

442
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 2: woman is never that you're not qualified enough, Right, It's

443
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,159
Speaker 2: more likely that someone does not want to accept that

444
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 2: you deserve those qualifications, that you truly earned those qualifications.

445
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,239
Speaker 2: Getting another degree isn't going to change yet. But that,

446
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 2: to Stephane's point, is something that's easier for your mom

447
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 2: and them to accept than like I am leaving to

448
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 2: go to Thailand. I'll see you guys when I see you.

449
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: I think so. My friends thought I was having a

450
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 2: breakdown when I left, and now I might have been

451
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 2: I told you that job was trying to kill me.

452
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 2: I might have been having a breakdown, but the minute

453
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 2: I left and I slept and I started getting back

454
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: into me and the me that I knew, I wasn't

455
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 2: the one who had it wrong. My freedom showed me

456
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 2: that this is the life for me. It may not

457
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 2: be the life for everybody, but staying to fight is

458
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 2: not for me, and that is I'm not fighting for America.

459
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 2: I'm not fighting for that job. I'm not fighting to

460
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 2: be in a relationship with anybody. I'm so sorry we

461
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,640
Speaker 2: make it easy or I say goodbye like that. That's

462
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: how I feel right now in my life. My biggest

463
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 2: flex in my life right now is that I only

464
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 2: speak to people I want to speak to.

465
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. So, besides the

466
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 1: finance piece and the math piece that you've already talked

467
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 1: us through, what are some of the other common anxieties

468
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,919
Speaker 1: that come up for people when you are considering something

469
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: like this.

470
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,639
Speaker 3: There's always the fear that you are giving up or

471
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 3: walking away from what you work so hard for. Right

472
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 3: you work so hard for your job or your whatever

473
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 3: it is, and there's fear that taking a break from

474
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 3: it or quitting it all together means that all of

475
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,399
Speaker 3: that was for nothing. But all of that was for nothing.

476
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 3: All of that got you to wear You have choices today, right.

477
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 3: I wasn't an attorney. I was a hospital pharmacy technician.

478
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 3: But that job gave me enough money to take a

479
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 3: year off. That job got me to the place where

480
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 3: I had choices, I had options, and I could exercise

481
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 3: those options. There's always the fear of that. Also, there's

482
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 3: just the fear that other places are so unsafe that

483
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 3: we live in the safest place and any place else

484
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 3: we go is going to be It's so dangerous. Oh

485
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 3: my gosh, Mexico, it's so dangerous. But listen, I'm like, girl,

486
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 3: you live in St.

487
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:46,919
Speaker 2: Louis.

488
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 3: I mean, you can make it there. You can make

489
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 3: it anywhere. Fear of those things are probably the first

490
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 3: things that jump out in health care, What are you

491
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 3: gonna do about health care? In the United States, health

492
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 3: care is tied to your work status, but that's not

493
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 3: a worldwide thing. Having access to health care is a

494
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 3: thing that really scares black women about taking a break

495
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 3: or moving abroad. But it's really the reason to go.

496
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 3: Once you have a little taste health care is one

497
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 3: of the gateway dregs of moving abroad. Once you have

498
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 3: a little taste of health care in another country that

499
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 3: is accessible, that is affordable, where they treat you like

500
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 3: a human being, where you actually get time with your doctor,

501
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: where you talk to your doctor, where your doctor what

502
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 3: sapps you and sends you messages, you're not going to

503
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 3: want to come back to the US healthcare system.

504
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 2: Another big thing that comes up for black women specifically

505
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 2: is family, the idea that you're going to leave your

506
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,439
Speaker 2: family behind, the idea that you're not going to be

507
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 2: there to care for the people to love or not

508
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 2: be able to like continue to be the responsible party,

509
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 2: because a lot of the people who get themselves in

510
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 2: the position where they're like I, I am stressed, I

511
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: am burnt out, I want something new. I'm talking about

512
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 2: a lot of I'm not always going to say that

513
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: the first daughter, but I'm going to say the responsible daughter.

514
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 2: A lot of responsible daughters are out there. Like I've

515
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: been working my whole life. I've been taking care of

516
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 2: people this whole time. So I can't go because if

517
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 2: I go, who's going to step into my shoes? Because

518
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 2: no one's ever stepped into my shoes before. No one's

519
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,360
Speaker 2: ever said I'm going to do this. And a lot

520
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 2: of times when they open that door, someone will walk through,

521
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like someone in the family

522
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 2: will step up. The ever thing we hear is that, oh,

523
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 2: if I move, I won't see them anymore. My mother

524
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 2: came to visit me more when I lived in Mexico

525
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: City than when I lived in Columbus, Ohio, like significantly

526
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 2: more times than when I lived in Columbus, Ohio. And

527
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 2: now she lives in Mexico because what does doctor Joy say?

528
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 2: Possibility models right, she saw it and she was like, oh,

529
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 2: this is nice. She's houfing Metada right now, running the

530
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 2: streets pretending she's not as old as she is because

531
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 2: the city is keeping her young. Because she found a

532
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: city that she loves. She loves the community there, She

533
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 2: loves being with the people there. She loves being at

534
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 2: the pool in her backyard pool every day, at the

535
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 2: hotel where her girlfriends once or twice a week, Like

536
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 2: they have created this community that she loves, and she

537
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 2: wasn't getting when she was living in Florida. She wasn't

538
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 2: experiencing the things the way she wanted to experience them.

539
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 2: So for a lot of people, it's just if you

540
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 2: find the city that resonates with your soul, it's a

541
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 2: done deal. Mexico City was always a done deal for me.

542
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 2: I went there and I was like, I should live here,

543
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 2: and now I live here. So the idea that it's

544
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: cutting a tie with your family isn't true because if

545
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 2: they want to come see you, they can come see

546
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 2: you if they have passports, right, and passports aren't impossible

547
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: to get. They're not the easiest, but they're not impossible

548
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 2: to get. You can always go back home to see them.

549
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:56,719
Speaker 2: And moving abroad doesn't mean moving forever. Right, You can

550
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 2: make a choice to take a break from us and

551
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 2: come back when you want to. A lot of people don't,

552
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: I would say most people don't. What's it going to

553
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 2: take the good life overseas? It's hard to go back,

554
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 2: but you can do that if you want to. And

555
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 2: so even if you are uncomfortable putting the burdens that

556
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 2: you've been carrying for your family down, you probably should. Anyway,

557
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 2: a lot of black women should be finding ways to

558
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 2: say I love you, I'm taking care of you for

559
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 2: this far. What are we going to do? To put

560
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 2: you in a situation where either someone else can pick

561
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 2: up the slack or we find a new model. One

562
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 2: of the things we talk about aging agent is expensive

563
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 2: in the US. It's a healthcare stuffing talked about that

564
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: healthcare is one of the reasons aging is so expensive

565
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: in the US. In other countries, it's not that bad.

566
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 2: Right in other countries, you can get someone in the

567
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: home to care for you for significantly less than you

568
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: might in the US because labor isn't as expensive. It's

569
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 2: not cutting ties family. Maybe it's taking someone with you.

570
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 2: People are always like, oh, I have kids, I can't

571
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 2: do this. Kids go to school all over the world. Right,

572
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 2: I'm a single mom, I can't. Why not? Why not?

573
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 2: We have so many mothers in our community who are

574
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 2: either have their kids enrolled in school, or they're homeschooling

575
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 2: or be doing some kind of world school experience, and

576
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 2: they show other women how it's done, because it can

577
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 2: be done. It can be done with kids, it can

578
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 2: be done with aging parents. It can be done. Family

579
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 2: and what you think your obligations are to your community,

580
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 2: to your church, to the country, those are things that

581
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 2: you may be holding on to too tightly and not

582
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 2: looking at the other options available for you.

583
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: So, Stephanie, you already mentioned house sitting as one way

584
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 1: to kind of venture into these other places. But what

585
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,959
Speaker 1: other options exist for like finding places to stay in

586
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: other countries, and how do you decide which other country

587
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: is going to be a good fit for you.

588
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: This is a good question because the places that you

589
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 3: enjoyed on vacation and may not work for you as

590
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 3: a resident. The places that you've enjoyed visiting may not

591
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 3: also be places that you've enjoyed living. We find that

592
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 3: women like to just pick. It sounds really strange, but

593
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 3: there's enough information out there in the world. There's some

594
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 3: place that you've been looking at that you've been eyed.

595
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 3: Sometimes you just pick and you go there and you

596
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 3: scout it out in a different way. Instead of being

597
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 3: a tourist in a place, you go there and say,

598
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 3: what would my life look like if I live there.

599
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 3: Airbnb can mean possibly that you are staying in a

600
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 3: residential neighborhood right instead of in a hotel in the

601
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 3: tourist area. You could live in a residential area for

602
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 3: a while. Check out the grocery stores, and check out transportation,

603
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 3: and check out the infrastructure in a place. It really

604
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 3: can be as simple as hopping on a flight, booking

605
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 3: an airbnb, getting in community with the local expats, right

606
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 3: with other people who have moved to a place because

607
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 3: they've navigated what you want to work through, and checking

608
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,959
Speaker 3: some things out see how they sound to you. Because

609
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 3: of the Internet, there's so much information out there that seriously,

610
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 3: you can just pick some places that have sounded good

611
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 3: because you saw some YouTube videos and you saw some right,

612
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 3: you saw some things, and then just decide on your

613
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 3: individual criteria and pick, like seriously, pick go visit, get

614
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 3: an airbnb there, and go. So women stay in a

615
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,239
Speaker 3: variety of ways. There are businesses that give you a

616
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 3: landing spot in a place. We have a good friend

617
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 3: named Michelle who has a home in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico,

618
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 3: and she has created a soft landing place for black

619
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 3: women and families who want to move to that place.

620
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 3: So there are places that will help you navigate this

621
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 3: so you're not on your own. So if you don't

622
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 3: want to just go end up in a city, in

623
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 3: an airbnb in a strange place, there are like intermediaries

624
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 3: who will help you navigate that you can just put

625
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 3: in listen, who helps people move to this place in

626
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 3: your Google it, look at it on YouTube, look at

627
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: people up on Instagram, look people up on Facebook, and

628
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 3: in Facebook groups. Ask questions in Facebook groups, and you

629
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 3: can get some good help towards deciding on what fits

630
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 3: your criteria. Coming up with your criteria, it's a different step.

631
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: So can we get some input on, like how do

632
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,959
Speaker 1: you come up with your criteria for where your country

633
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 1: would be?

634
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 2: So I actually am going to speak to that. I

635
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 2: always tell people when you start this process, a lot

636
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 2: of us, when you think of where I might want

637
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 2: to live, will either have like zero places on their

638
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 2: list or one hundred. And if you're at zero, okay,

639
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 2: leave the page blank. If you're at one hundred, write

640
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: them all down. Write all those places down. And then

641
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 2: I ask people to figure out the top five things

642
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 2: they want in a city. Are whatever top five things

643
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 2: you want or like. If you can't think of that,

644
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 2: what are the top five things you love about the

645
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 2: city you currently live in? Right? And then whatever five

646
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 2: things you do not want in the city, whatever things

647
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 2: you're like, these are, this is not at all I

648
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 2: don't want traffic, I don't want smog, I don't want

649
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: lots of people don't come to Mexico City. Those are

650
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 2: on your list, right, Like whatever the things that you

651
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 2: don't want, and then compare them to the cities on

652
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: your list, like go through the list. A lot of

653
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 2: times I'm speaking to someone who wanted to be in

654
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 2: a very active city and when I asked he what

655
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 2: city she was considering, it was all like mountain cities.

656
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, I feel like you're not talking

657
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:32,280
Speaker 2: to yourself, like there's no connection there. So going through

658
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 2: and some of the criteria points to your question could

659
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 2: be things like what is your budget? Right? If your

660
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,720
Speaker 2: budget is one thousand dollars a month, maybe you're probably

661
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 2: not moving to Switzerland. So start maybe there with what

662
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 2: the max range of your budget is. You can easily

663
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 2: figure out cost of living. There are a lot of

664
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 2: online calculators will help you with that. A lot of

665
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 2: black women want to be in places where there are

666
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 2: other black women. Is that something you care about. If so,

667
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 2: you should be looking around to see where there are

668
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 2: communities of black women. A lot of Black women care

669
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 2: about dating when they go overseas. If you want to

670
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 2: date a specific type of man, you have to go

671
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 2: where that specific type of man is you can't only

672
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 2: want to date men over six feet and number of

673
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 2: countries you can't move to if that's what you want, right,

674
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 2: If you only want to date black American men, I

675
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 2: am so sorry, baby. You might need to stay in

676
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 2: America like, because you know you need to go where

677
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 2: the numbers are. If that is one of your priorities.

678
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it is. I'm not saying it should be,

679
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 2: but if it is, you really have to look at

680
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 2: what's available out there. So those are some of the

681
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:46,359
Speaker 2: criterias we see. Good schools are everything. Some people only

682
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,240
Speaker 2: want to go to English speaking countries or Spanish speaking

683
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 2: countries or French speaking countries, so those are criterias. Well,

684
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,359
Speaker 2: how much language do you know compared to how much

685
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 2: language do you need to know to get around? A

686
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,720
Speaker 2: lot of countries have cities that are heavy in tourists,

687
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 2: so there may be a lot of English spoken, there

688
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 2: are a lot of multiple languages spoken there and some

689
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 2: that have less tourism. Maybe you don't have to be

690
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,840
Speaker 2: deep in your language in your books, on your duel lingo,

691
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 2: on the ass learn and stuff, because there's just no

692
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 2: other way to get around. So if you're like I

693
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 2: can't learn anything new right now. Perhaps going to an

694
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,839
Speaker 2: area that has a lot of tourists would be better

695
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 2: for you. On the other hand, some people are like,

696
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 2: I don't want to see another American in my life.

697
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 2: Like that is how some people approach it. Don't go

698
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,760
Speaker 2: to an area with a lot of tourism. I tell people,

699
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 2: what's your dream life? What do you wake up, what

700
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 2: do you do? Where do you shop? What do you eat?

701
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 2: Think about those things about the life you want to live.

702
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 2: Put it on paper, and the important criteria will be

703
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 2: highlighted in your brain.

704
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 1: So have there been any unexpected challenges for you living

705
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 1: abroad that you typically caution other people about.

706
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 2: From my perspective, I think the things that I see

707
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:06,479
Speaker 2: surprising people is how much the world is all alike, right,

708
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 2: and on the other hand, how different some things can be. Right.

709
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 2: So like in Mexico, for example, what it might say

710
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 2: on a company's website, a store's website, what it might

711
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 2: say on their door about their opening hours. Maybe that's

712
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: a dream and a wish, Like what's that got to

713
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 2: do with reality? The coffee shop says they open at seven,

714
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 2: but no one's there at a thirty Oh well, just

715
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 2: find the next one. A lot of Americans have expectations

716
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 2: that things are going to go as they expect them

717
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 2: to go. It's going to do what it says on

718
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 2: the website. The documents I need for my residency are

719
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 2: going to be exactly what it says on the website.

720
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, that's not how that works. It's

721
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 2: just whatever. You just learn to roll with the punches

722
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: of whatever your dealt. You play the hand your delt

723
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 2: every day here. The other part of it, though, is

724
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 2: that I frequently hear people surprised that inflation is happening

725
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 2: in other countries as well. I'm like, yes, baby, everything

726
00:37:55,560 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 2: is more expensive everywhere. Well go right, And so there

727
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 2: are some ways in which you might be trying to

728
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 2: leave something in America, but it is a very global issue,

729
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 2: and so it will be wherever you go, and there

730
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 2: may be some things where if you can't let go

731
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 2: of what you expect from where you're coming from, America, Canada,

732
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: wherever that is, if you can't let go of your expectations,

733
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 2: you're gonna get your feelings hurt because maybe that coffee

734
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 2: shop is not going to open to like noon. I'm

735
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: so sorry, Yeah, customer service does not exist the way

736
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 2: we're used to it.

737
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 3: It's just not it's not a thing. They don't do it.

738
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 3: Anytime I order food, any order more than two or

739
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 3: three things, one of the things is absolutely wrong. Right

740
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 3: I'm go ordering fanta, orange, fantas or soda. I'm going

741
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 3: to get a ginger ale. Okay, that's just how it is.

742
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: That's wording.

743
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 2: Y'a here is, complains manager.

744
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 1: Then they don't do this, roll with it.

745
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 3: Say that genderell from the next time you want a.

746
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 2: Genderil and move on with your life.

747
00:38:53,120 --> 00:39:05,959
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. So we talked

748
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: a little bit about sabbaticals. But I'm imagining some people

749
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: are thinking, like, Okay, I might be able to do this.

750
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 1: How would you talk with your employer about taking the

751
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: extended time off to be able to travel or do

752
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 1: something like this.

753
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 2: I tell people to figure out where you want to go,

754
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 2: figure out all your details, talk to your employer, but

755
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 2: be ready to lead no matter what they say. Right, So,

756
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: if you go to your employer and they say, no,

757
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 2: a break, please, we were read to quit. Someone I

758
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 2: interview a while ago said that she hated her job

759
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 2: and she wasn't scared to leave because she knew when

760
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,240
Speaker 2: she came back she could always find another job she hated.

761
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 2: She was like, what does it matter if I hate

762
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 2: this job? What does it matter when I come back,

763
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 2: I'll find another job I hate. Right. So I can

764
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 2: probably count on one hand the number of people who

765
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 2: I know who've gotten a no strings attached to about it.

766
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 2: So when I know went into her employer, it was

767
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 2: a city government and it was in her little manual.

768
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 2: I always say, read your employeed manual. See what it allows.

769
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 2: She went to employing manual, she went to ask for

770
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 2: a believe and without her saying anything, they gave her

771
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: a paid leave. And I was like, well, look at God,

772
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:23,320
Speaker 2: look at that magic. Right. But most people, we're talking

773
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 2: about either quitting your job, taking FMLA, doing something else

774
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 2: that gets you out. Some people may ask for sabbaticals

775
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 2: that have a string attached, and then when they're ready,

776
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 2: they cut the string, like, yes, but you have to

777
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 2: come back and work for so and so long, and

778
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 2: then eventually they're like, oh, I change on mind, I'm

779
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 2: not coming back. Some people will take a leave because

780
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:46,359
Speaker 2: they'll continue to be covered by some health insurance. Right,

781
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 2: they'll figure something out like an extended vacation, but getting

782
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 2: employed outright, agree to even unpaid time off. It's almost impossible. Look,

783
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 2: read your handbook, read your employee manual. Steve's sitting there.

784
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 2: Ask anyway, because you never know what's going to happen.

785
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 2: My client did not expect that to happen, and it

786
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 2: did for her. Ask but be prepared to walk away

787
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 2: if they say, now.

788
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 3: That's right, particularly if you work for a non US

789
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 3: based company. Right, if your company is a European company,

790
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 3: you have probably a better chance of them having a

791
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 3: system in place. But if you work for a US company, friends,

792
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 3: you can quit, you can make your own sabbatical.

793
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 2: Okay, you just have to do it yourself. Well, you

794
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 2: don't want to be there anyway.

795
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: So how would you advise people who are relocating to

796
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 1: a new country to actually pour into the local culture

797
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: and community as opposed to approaching it as like a

798
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 1: colonist Western kind of like, Okay, I'm going to go

799
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 1: here and take over kind of thing. What suggestions do

800
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 1: you have?

801
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 3: That's right? First, black women are only people who have

802
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 3: this question, right. Black women are the only people who

803
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 3: have this concern. I've never heard anyone ever ask this

804
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 3: question except for black women. Right, how do I go

805
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 3: there and not move like a colonizer? Okay, So because

806
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: we're asking this question, we probably are already more equipped

807
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 3: to be better residents of a new place. First, we

808
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 3: make an effort to learn that language. You're going someplace,

809
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 3: make an effort to learn a language. It is the

810
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 3: easiest signal to people that you don't mean any harm,

811
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 3: that you are there to incorporate yourself into that community

812
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: and not stand out as a person who's just there

813
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,799
Speaker 3: to exploit, to pull from, and not to give back to.

814
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 3: I think you also want to re evaluate our relationship

815
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 3: with owning property. I think property ownership and land ownership

816
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 3: in a new country is dicey. It can cause a

817
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:43,840
Speaker 3: lot of strife. And I think it's because it's just

818
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 3: the American way. Even in the US, you're not seen

819
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 3: as a full fledged adult until you own some property.

820
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 3: In other countries, that's not a thing. That's not a thing.

821
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 3: And when you come in as a foreigner and you

822
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 3: come in and start buying a bland, people are automatically

823
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 3: going to have feelings about that. So reevaluate your relationship

824
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 3: with property ownership. It's okay to live in a place

825
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 3: that you don't own, It's okay. People all over the

826
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 3: world doing it. It works out for them. These are

827
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 3: two signals that you can give to people that you're

828
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 3: not there to exploit, that you're there to live inside

829
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 3: of a community.

830
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 2: So for me, I went out of my way to

831
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 2: make sure that my landlord was local. The biggest chunk

832
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,240
Speaker 2: of money I pay each month goes to a woman

833
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 2: who lives in the city and was born and raised

834
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 2: in the city. It's not going to foreigners. But what

835
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 2: I also see and I want people to be careful of,

836
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 2: is I want black women to avoid whatever the gold

837
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:48,280
Speaker 2: rush is in that city. Mexico City became very popular

838
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: for tourists in the past few years, and we saw

839
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 2: a lot of Americans renting a place to then go

840
00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 2: rented on Airbnb to do that rental arbitrage and make money.

841
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you don't hear the calleiz or energy

842
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 2: right there, Like what are you doing in this community? Like, yes,

843
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 2: the local landlords are jacking at the rents, Yes they are,

844
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 2: but you're not helping when you're adding to the issue.

845
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 2: So property ownership, this is a very visible way in

846
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,360
Speaker 2: which people do that I see lots of places around

847
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 2: here where the landlord is a foreigner, and I'm like,

848
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 2: I don't like the way that feels. I don't like

849
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 2: what it does to a housing market, et cetera. But

850
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: Airbn being places isn't going to be the only gold

851
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,240
Speaker 2: rush you see in cities. When you get to your city,

852
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 2: see what people are doing, like, oh, this is an

853
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 2: easy way to make money. Whatever that is typically has

854
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 2: the local residents under the it's heel, right, and so like,

855
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 2: I would say avoid that whatever that looks like wherever

856
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 2: you go.

857
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 3: And then Rashida does a wonderful thing. She goes to

858
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 3: pilates and by a local person in Spanish. Right, you

859
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 3: just want to make sure you don't look like you've

860
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 3: walled yourself off. It's totally possible to move to Costa Rica,

861
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 3: move to Mexico, move to Grenada, South Africa, and wall

862
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 3: yourself off and only live with Americans.

863
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 2: You could do that.

864
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 3: It's the wrong answer. Rashida takes pilates in Spanish with

865
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 3: local people. We have a girlfriend who took in our class. Right,

866
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 3: getting in community with people is going to make your

867
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,719
Speaker 3: life so much better, and it's also just going to

868
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 3: help us, black women who are moving abroad be taken

869
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,959
Speaker 3: in a little bit more. We already have. Black women

870
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 3: have a very good reputation around the world. People love

871
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 3: black women as much as anti blackness is universal. People

872
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 3: do really love black women. We're in our forties, and

873
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 3: especially black women in their forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, We

874
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 3: are loved. And so you can incorporate yourself into community

875
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 3: in places, you can become a member of that society.

876
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 3: You don't have to stay on the outskirts just because

877
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 3: you weren't born there. And doing things in the local

878
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 3: community is a straight shot today.

879
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 2: I have a word of caution though. One of the

880
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 2: things that I hear that we don't say, but it

881
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 2: drives me like I get a little when I hear

882
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,759
Speaker 2: it is I hear people talking about, oh, you just

883
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,760
Speaker 2: go to a place, you need to live like a local.

884
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 2: What I want to say is that that shrinks the

885
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 2: local experience to something that can be a snapshot. I

886
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: am a poor in the building I live in. My

887
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 2: garage is filled with g wagons if people getting picked

888
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,800
Speaker 2: up by their personal drivers. But the idea of living

889
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: like a local in Mexico is like poverty you live

890
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 2: on three hundred dollars a month, You eat no the

891
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 2: Mexican experience, but Thai experience. Whatever country you go to,

892
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:50,440
Speaker 2: the Columbia experience is as vast and diverse, most likely

893
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 2: as the American experience. So I would avoid getting that

894
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: you have to live like a local. In your brain,

895
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 2: it mix a caricature out of what the local experience is,

896
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 2: when in reality it's probably much much more diverse than

897
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 2: you can even imagine.

898
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for that. It's such incredible information

899
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:13,800
Speaker 1: you don't have shared. I have a ton of questions

900
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: that I didn't even get a chance to ask you,

901
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 1: But I'm sure you already have resources for all the

902
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 1: questions I would have had anyway, So tell us where

903
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 1: we can stay connected with you all. What is your

904
00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 1: website as well as any social media handles you'd like

905
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: to share.

906
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 3: Our joint business is called Exodus Summit. It is a

907
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,240
Speaker 3: wonderful community for black women who want to consider planning

908
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,800
Speaker 3: their sabbatical, their career break, their over abroad. We are

909
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 3: on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook as Exodus Summit. Individually, Rashida and

910
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 3: I run our own businesses. I am a house sitter

911
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 3: and I am the creator of House Sitter School. On

912
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 3: all of the platforms, I am vicarious, except for YouTube,

913
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 3: where I am Stephanie Perry. My YouTube channel is a

914
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 3: wonderful place for Black women who are into this kind

915
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 3: of talk, who're into racing ease and really seriously doing

916
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 3: as little as possible.

917
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 2: I can be found at rashidadoo dot com. I am

918
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 2: a career break coach. I've been a career break coach

919
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 2: since twenty nineteen. I'm my career break. I love to

920
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 2: help women find their joy wherever it may be around

921
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 2: the world. I also help people retire early, move abroad,

922
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 2: all of those things in that space. I run a

923
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 2: group coaching program to help them do that. I also

924
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 2: coach women one on one. I run a group coaching

925
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 2: program to help them do that. I also coach women

926
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:38,880
Speaker 2: one on one. I have a YouTube channel. I'm at Rashida.

927
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 2: You can find me on Instagram at Shida d and

928
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 2: like I said, my website is rashidadow dot com. I

929
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 2: want more Black women to experience the joy that I

930
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 2: have found living this life, and so we've got a

931
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 2: ton of resources between us. Between the Exodus Summit site,

932
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 2: you can still get a replay to get to Exodus

933
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 2: at exitusmon dot com so you can hear doctor Joy

934
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 2: come talk to us. Yes, yes, we do the summit

935
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 2: every fall. The Facebook group and the actual summit are

936
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:15,280
Speaker 2: places where black women can share their dreams while being

937
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:18,440
Speaker 2: fully supported, zero detractors. It is not a place where

938
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: you're going to say I want to do something and

939
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 2: someone's gonna be like, that's dumb. Why would you do that.

940
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you go to this other place? Why it's

941
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 2: not that place. This is a place where black women

942
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:33,359
Speaker 2: say I want to move to New Zealand and someone's like, yes,

943
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 2: I know somebody news Like we have Solilar community in

944
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,479
Speaker 2: New Zealand who helps people move to New Zealand. Right,

945
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 2: they're there. They're helpful. They understand that we don't all

946
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:46,839
Speaker 2: want the same thing. We're not in competition with each other. Right.

947
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 2: Seeing my sister win helps me win, right, It helps

948
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:53,239
Speaker 2: me know that this is possible. This dephinitely helps me

949
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 2: see what's possible in my life. Right, and then she

950
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 2: bosses me around and makes me do stuff. But that's

951
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 2: just how it goes put you have a business partner.

952
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 2: But yeah, you have to see all these other women

953
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 2: and know that if they can do it, you can

954
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: do it too, And so I just really recommend people

955
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 2: join our community. You can find us at exodusummit dot

956
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 2: com slash community that will take you directly to the

957
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 2: Facebook group. Annie. We're just hoping that other women will see,

958
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 2: maybe not today, see this in their future, but be curious.

959
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,399
Speaker 2: If you're curious, right, come join us.

960
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 3: Doctor Joy already agreed that I was the peacemaker, so clearly,

961
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 3: clearly I'm not the lost. I'm the peacemaker in this

962
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 3: real in this business.

963
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:41,240
Speaker 2: We bring it up pole stuff.

964
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,720
Speaker 1: I love that, I love that beautiful sister and heels

965
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 1: tie in. Thank you so much for that. We will

966
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,360
Speaker 1: be sure to include all of those links and resources

967
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 1: in our show notes. Thank y'all again for spending some

968
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:53,320
Speaker 1: time with us today.

969
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

970
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: I'm so glad Rashid and Stephan you were able to

971
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 1: join me for this conversation. To learn more about them

972
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 1: and their work, be sure to visit the show notes

973
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash Session three four seven,

974
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 1: and don't forget to text two of your girls right

975
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:15,440
Speaker 1: now and tell them to check out the episode if

976
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 1: you're looking for a therapist in your area. Check out

977
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash

978
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 1: directory And if you want to continue digging into this

979
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: topic or just be in community with other sisters, come

980
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: on over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's

981
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: our cozy corner of the Internet designed just for black women.

982
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 1: You can join us at community dot Therapy for Blackgirls

983
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:41,800
Speaker 1: dot com. This episode was produced by Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis,

984
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:46,879
Speaker 1: and Zaria Taylor. Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank

985
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 1: y'all so much for joining me again this week. I

986
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon.

987
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:54,439
Speaker 1: Take good care.

988
00:51:59,400 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 2: What's