WEBVTT - Saddam Hussein: Erotic Novelist 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:03.320 Hey, everybody, I am Robert Evans, and this is again 0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.000 Behind the Bastards, the show where we tell you everything 0:00:06.080 --> 0:00:08.600 you don't know about the worst people in all of history. 0:00:08.880 --> 0:00:13.480 Today we are talking about Saddam Hussein, dictator genocide here 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:20.080 and romance novelist. With me today is Jamie loftus writer, podcaster, 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:27.360 other art makerer of things, yeah, and a comedian. Are 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:31.400 you ready to get your Saddam on? I am fully ready? 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:35.479 All right. Well, Saddam Hussein Abd almag Alto Crety was 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:39.599 born on April ninety seven, and we know that much 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:41.960 for sure. Everything else about Saddam's early life is kind 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:44.080 of up in the air. Reading about his back stories 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:46.120 a little like asking the Joker to explain, like where 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:48.919 scars came from. You get different stories depending on who 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:51.280 you talk to. Right, there's a Jared Letto version of 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.760 Saddam Hussein, and then there's the Heath Ledger interpretation. Everyone 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.000 brings something different to the table. Yeah, and I went 0:00:57.040 --> 0:01:01.400 full Ledger on this one. Okay, spiring, Okay, well yeah, 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:03.720 it is a little bit um. So you know, early on, 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:05.720 Saddam is kind of an underdog from the start. His 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:08.480 dad disappears like six months before he's born. He was 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:12.280 probably murdered by bandits, but we don't really know. Uh. 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:15.000 Saddam's older brother died while he was still in the womb. 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.240 One common myth states that his mom tried to kill 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.480 herself and aboard her baby. After these deaths, she leapt 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:23.760 in front of a bus and was reportedly saved by 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:26.479 a local Jewish family, and after they stopped her from 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:30.280 committing abortion slash suicide, she is alleged to have screamed, 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:33.520 I'm carrying Satan in my belly. This fetus has already 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:35.520 killed his father and his brother and wants to be 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:40.840 the only man in the family. Okay, yeah, really this 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:44.160 I feel like where people bring up the baby Hitler 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:46.080 paradox all the time of like if you could go 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:47.720 back in time and kill a baby, if you could 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:50.400 save six million people, would you. I feel like this 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:56.200 anecdote effectively answers that lastion she tried. His own mom 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:59.680 was like, you know what, something is awry. There's wow 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.200 isn't going to end well, I can tell it like 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:05.840 the second trimester. So the real villains were the people 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:09.360 who saved the babies, effectively answering the baby Hitler paradox, 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.320 kill the baby. Yeah, the villain in this story definitely 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:16.280 isn't Saddam's mom. She tried to do the right thing. No, God, 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:20.200 she was sacrificing herself to kill this evil baby. To 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:24.280 kill the evil baby. That's upset. I mean, yeah, kill 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:27.000 the baby. Yeah, kill the baby. I'm learning kill the baby. 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.440 I feel like we answered that question. Well, please bring 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:31.959 this argument to court in a few years when I 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.400 killed the baby when time travel exists, are you just 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:36.720 going to find another baby? I mean, there's gonna they'll 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:39.160 they'll be other There's evil babies born all the time. 0:02:39.880 --> 0:02:42.720 That's the really horrifying thing is there are That's there's 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:46.000 an evil baby born every day. Right now, someone is 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:49.760 being born who will later really hurt people. And yeah, 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:52.160 I have that feeling because every time I see a baby, 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:54.920 they almost all look like Dick Cheney, and it's like 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:57.600 a percentage of them will turn out to be like 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:01.359 Dick Cheney, Like we just know at it's crazy. My 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.320 my best friend just had a baby, and I like, 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:05.239 look at her son. I'm like, you're going to gaslight 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:08.519 someone so hard one day. They're gonna be so upset, 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:11.640 arrate you're now, You're so damn cute right now. You 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:13.960 haven't done anything terrible, but I can just see you 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:18.240 kicking a dog in twenty four years and feeling nothing 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:23.320 and just bone quiet on the inside. Um. So, Saddam's 0:03:23.360 --> 0:03:25.920 mom did eventually give birth to a healthy baby boy. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:29.480 She named him Saddam, which means one who confronts so 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:34.440 solid name game. Okay, I mean, in terms of naming 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:37.400 a baby, you already view to be satan. To be 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:39.680 the devil seems a little on the nose, but sure. 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:42.240 I mean that's what he spent us whole life doing. 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:45.520 That's true. That's true. His family was very, very poor. 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:48.840 His hometown of Alaga was a very violent place, so 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:51.520 he grew up tough. One version of the Saddam myth 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:54.560 says that he was enchanted by math, learning, reading, and writing, 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:56.520 but that his mother told him his destiny was as 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:59.360 a farmer, and she wouldn't let him go to school. Okay, 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:02.280 so she's trying to suppress the devil, Like, let's not 0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.160 educate the devil, Let's just give him a raake and 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.320 hope for the best. Yeah. The last thing this boy 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:12.560 needs his math. Wow, you know I've got a lot 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.520 of respect for Saddam's mom right now, she tried, she's 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:18.640 doubling down on thinking her son is pure evil. Yeah 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:20.760 she she really put in the work to try to 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:25.000 stop this. Wow. Okay, um, but yeah, So Saddam's home 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:28.040 was a one room, mud brick hobble, no electricity, no 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:30.640 running water, just him and mom, Just him and mom. 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:33.720 His brothers are dead or his brother is dead. He 0:04:33.800 --> 0:04:36.400 said to have had a rough upbringing. The other kids 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:39.760 in town mocked him for not having a dad. Uh. 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:41.719 And because he had no older brother, there was nobody 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:44.360 to defend him, so Saddam started carrying an iron bar 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.520 as a weapon. This is like six year old Saddam 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.839 walking her with an iron bar, just beating other kids. Wow, 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:56.000 just like just like Tanya Harding. Yeah, there's a little 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:59.320 galuling everyone in the village, all right. Yeah. Well, and 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:01.680 he went up with a stepfather at one point, but 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:05.040 he was his stepfather was apparently quite vicious. His name 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.719 was Hassan the Liar. So maybe not great choice on 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:11.719 mom's part there. Maybe. Okay, Mom just lost me for 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:14.720 the first time in this in this story. Yeah, maybe 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:18.320 don't marry Hassan the Liar. I mean, especially if he 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.720 comes with that title. Yeah, even imagining the house party, 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:24.280 they meeters like, oh, yeah, I'm you know, so you know, 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:28.120 I'm Hassan the liar. Hello. Maybe he like couchit. Maybe 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:32.360 he's like, I'm Azon date five. You're like, oh, it's 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:35.680 the liar. That's what he was saying the whole time. Um. 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:38.320 Hassan's weapon of choice was a large pipe soaked in 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:41.599 boiling tar, which he would use to beat Saddam with. Yeah, 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:44.240 oh that's horrible. I know there's a little bit of 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:47.200 this story where you're kind of on Saddam's side. Okay, okay, 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:50.720 I'm on this journey. So one of the peculiarities about 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:53.080 writing about Saddam is that you either get really sympathetic 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.200 towards him or wildly negative towards him, depending on who 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:58.680 writes his back story. But it's it's pretty safe to 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:00.760 say either way. His childhood ship, Like if you look 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:04.120 at the CIA analysis of Saddam, like you can see 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:07.560 the CIA analysts like feeling sorry for little kids Saddam. 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:12.600 So yeah, that's like a normal part of learning about Saddam. Um. So, 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:14.800 one night, when he was around ten, he was said 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:16.920 to have snuck out of bed and gathered up his 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:19.479 few possessions into a hobo bundle and made it to 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:23.280 the town across the desert or whatever to uh find 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.400 some other members of his family because he was the desert, 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:27.400 well a little bit of a desert, not a lot 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:28.960 of desert, like he wanted to he wanted to go 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:30.560 to school, and his mom wouldn't let him. So he 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.680 sneaks out and he finds some relatives and he says, 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:35.200 I want to go to the city where my uncle lives. Uh, 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:37.280 can you guys help me get there? Uh? And they 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.920 say yes, and they give him cab, fair and a gun. 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:45.000 He's ten, he's ten, and he just this. Now I'm like, 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:48.000 this kid just wants to learn math and he needs 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:52.000 and and he's given all these weapons. You want to 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:54.520 go to the city, Huh can you imagin mean? Ten 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:57.640 years old? And being like, I really I want to 0:06:57.720 --> 0:07:00.760 learn maths so much, I'm going to run away from 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:03.679 my family. God, I would have just been a farmer 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:05.880 in their answer being oh you okay, you want to 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:07.960 learn math, Well, here's a gun and some money, like 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.760 deal with the price of math. Maybe you're lying, yea, 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:13.800 you may have to kill somebody to get to math, 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:15.880 so no one goes with him. He goes by himself. Yeah, 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.560 he goes by himself. He finds finds someone to drive 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:21.160 him and and has a gun in case someone attacks 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.440 him on the road. But he gets to He gets 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:26.680 to de Crete, which is the big city comparatively, and 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:30.160 his uncle takes him in and Saddam starts to attend school. Um. 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.120 That does not go very well though, because he was 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:36.200 Saddam Hussein um and he gets expelled. Um. And when 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:38.560 he's expelled, he goes to his uncle, and his uncle 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:41.960 gives him a gun and says, but he already has 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.120 a gun. Yeah, well he gives him another gun. So 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:46.800 far he has an iron bar and two guns. And 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.040 he's not even eleven years old. Yeah, he's not even 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:51.000 eleven years old. And when he gets expelled, his uncle 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.120 gives him a gun and says, go make the principal 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:58.880 take you back into the school. Saddam does. He pulls 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:06.680 a gun on the like a like age eleven. So 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:09.520 he's like a fifth or sixth grader, yeah, and he 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.160 has to go. He's like, I want to learn math, God, 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:19.360 damn it, I want to read. And the Jesus. Okay, cheez, 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.000 you gotta give him credit. He is dedicated to that education. 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.120 He has had more of a life than both of 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:30.240 us at angel Leving. Okay, so he's put back into 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:34.400 school after after threatening violence on the principle because he 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:38.080 threatened the principle. Because threaten the principle. Okay, yeah, so 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:40.680 he gets to go back into school. Um, his uncle 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:43.800 became his childhood role model. His uncle's name was Kirla 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.880 Uh and Kirala had before this point, spent six years 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:49.880 in prison for fighting against the British occupation of Iraq. 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:52.640 He was kind of a Nazi sympathizer, um, And by 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:56.920 kind of, I mean he was a sympathizer. So he's yeah, 0:08:56.960 --> 0:09:00.439 he's a can we like, okay, this is actually a 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:05.040 question always a Nazi sympathizer, Are we just saying Nazi? Well, 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:07.760 it's a little more complicated because, like he was a 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:09.640 lot of why he liked the Nazis is because the 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:11.920 Nazis were fighting the British and the British weren't control 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:14.200 of his country, so it's not. But he was also 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:20.800 super anti Semitic, So he's like a Nazi sympathizer and 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:24.560 also and also okay, well yeah, and the reason that 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.400 Saddam idolized his uncle is because his uncle was an author. 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:31.959 Um and his uncle's written work that was most famous 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:35.679 was a pamphlet called those Whom God should not have created, Persians, 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:40.120 Jews and flies. Okay, I was about to compliment his 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.760 use of whom, but I didn't take it back. I mean, 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:45.120 he got he got the home right, he did a 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:48.040 good use of whom and a bad use of everyone 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:53.280 everyone else's time. Everything else is terrible. Um that that 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.440 pamphlet would go on to have a big impact on 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:58.199 a young Saddam because his foreign policy is Dictator of 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:01.640 Iraq was based around opposing the per 's Iran Uh 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:04.559 and Israel. I'm not aware of any anti fly policies, 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:07.400 but I assumed they made it in there somehow too. 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:10.400 So I'm now I'm like not on Saddam side again, 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:13.200 because it's like, imagine using one. I'm like, if I 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.679 use my uncle's like weird, creepy fan fiction account as 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:19.839 a way to like direct a country, we would all be, 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:24.280 you know, like X files, be characters frantically having sex 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.320 with each other. So you can't just take your uncle's 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.719 literature and take it to heart too much. Well, big 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:30.640 ups on your uncle. I mean mine is it's more 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:34.000 like Frasier fan Thick, which is uncomfortable. That's a fancy uncle. 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.280 You know, I would prefer that to X files. I'm 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:39.439 like where we're getting into genre stuff, you know, I mean, 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.440 but molder in that like swamp monster thing. That's a 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:46.160 hot mix. I'll give you his email. Yeah, really, I'm 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:50.520 really into that. Um So. Saddam moves to Bagdad with 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.240 his uncle to attend secondary school, which is what not 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:58.160 Americans call high school. Now he's a teen. He teen, 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:00.839 Saddam tena heart throb Saddam. Um, I'm gonna show you 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:03.240 this picture of young Saddam. I saw that picture when 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:05.440 I came in. He was like, God, I hate that 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.800 he's hot. He's not a bad looking guy, it says 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:12.920 damn ye. That was the working title of this podcast. 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:17.280 Um so uh. Saddam moves to Baghdad with his uncle. 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.679 He graduates high school. He spends three years in law 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:22.520 school before he drops out to join the radical bath 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:26.800 political party, the Bathists in short, or a pan Arab party. 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:28.560 They think that all the different Arab state should be 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:30.800 one big country. This is after the Ottomans have fallen, 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.319 so that's kind of what they want. They're sort of socialist, 0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:36.600 but they're also anti communists, so the CIA really likes 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.520 them at this point. Um. So in nineteen fifty eight, 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.640 there's a big military coup that overthrows the king of 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.000 Iraq and a new asshole named Kassam winds up in 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.600 charge of the country. The CIA didn't like coss him 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:48.920 because he was kind of pro Soviet Union, and since 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.760 the Bath Party also hated Kassam, the CIA was like, 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:55.480 these guys are clearly our friends. They've become sympathizers this 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:59.040 new Okay. So Saddam was working as a teacher during 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.240 this period of time. Yeah, teaching, I'm not I'm not 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:04.400 sure what. I haven't found any details about it. He's 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:07.520 not gonna rate my professor. Where his students at? Yeah, Like, 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.520 what kind of teacher was Saddam? Do we know what 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:14.400 age he was teaching? I mean, I'm gonna guess like teenagers, 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:16.439 But I really have no idea. We should not like 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:20.160 teens around Saddan. We should better if he's teaching like kindergarten, 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:26.160 definitely funnier if he's teaching kindergartenda helping little kids put 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.439 blocks in the right hole. You know, I think that 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.520 that is a good way to neutralize a threat, is 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:32.640 to just put them, put them around a little cutie 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.920 pies and tell him what the color blue is. Yeah. Well, 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:37.040 a lot of these monsters are really good with kids. 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:40.880 Hitler probably would have been an all right kindergarten teacher. Jeez. Yeah, 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:46.120 so he's teaching probably teenagers. He's teaching probably teenagers. Um, 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:50.520 but I don't know exactly. Um. Because teacher Hot Teacher Saddam, 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:54.520 Hot Teacher Saddam and Hot Teacher Saddam and his friends 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:57.280 wind up getting the attention of the CIA, and the 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:01.680 CIA is like, you guys want to assassinate the president? Uh? 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:03.719 And so dominous friends are like, yeah, we want to 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.760 assassinate the president. And so the CIA gives them all 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.320 weapons and helps them plan a daring murder. It is 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:12.079 crazy how many people are just down to give Sodam 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.040 the same guns. That's his whole childhood. It's just people 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:17.640 giving him guns. What is it about him? And then 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:20.200 everyone's just like, we've got to arm this man, like 0:13:20.320 --> 0:13:23.400 the trustworthy man. You know what. This guy's problem is 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:26.200 not enough guns. You know, I like everything, but what 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:29.599 I really could use is more violence. Yeah, if we 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:33.240 just strap a gun to him. Yeah. Now the CIA 0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:35.880 is giving Saddama guns, so dominous friends. Yeah, and so 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.800 there they get set up to go assassinate President Kassam 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:42.280 Uh and Saddam's job in this assassination is to provide 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:44.800 cover for everybody while they run up to the President's 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.840 car with machine guns and gun him down. Um. Things 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.720 instantly got sucked up. Depending on who you believe. Saddam 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.320 either got so excited when the gunfire started that he 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.280 rushed up to shoot the president too, or he panicked 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:58.640 before the attempt even started and fired his gun into 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:01.440 the air. Um. We don't really know what happened, but 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.079 the whole attempt has been described as a farce. One 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.320 assassin was given the wrong bullets for his gun by 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:09.080 the CIA. Another assassin got a hand grenade caught in 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:12.000 the lining of his coat. Um, so it was just 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.880 a disaster. The president survived, Saddam got shot in the 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:18.440 leg as he was fleeing. Very null coward vibe to 0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:23.040 that assassination, very silly sound. Yeah, you could imagine like 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:28.080 yakety Sacks being a solid like Assassin a soundtrack for that. 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.040 Are we in the sixties, yat or is he still 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:33.280 like in college age? I think this is the early 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.920 sixties because Cossum took power in fifty eight, so this 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:43.720 is Saddam's sixties hilariously failed assassination attempts um so Saddam 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:46.400 getting shot in the leg. The official version of the story, 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:48.520 and by that, I mean, like the Iraqi government's official 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.880 version of the story, was that he and a friend 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.040 had to remove the bullet with a razor blade and scissors, 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:55.680 so they get a little like Boondocks Saints thing there 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:58.280 um and they claimed he was still in high school 0:14:58.280 --> 0:14:59.960 at the time, but that doesn't track with the actual 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:01.880 time for a timeline. But like the version of the 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:03.720 story that IM wanted people to believe is that he 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:05.800 liked removed the bullet from his own leg, and then 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:08.480 went back to school, went to maths. I mean that 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:11.880 is that is a narrative, that is exciting, That is 0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:14.880 a cool narrative. I got Boondocks and then and then 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:17.640 I went to algebra two. I wasn't gonna miss my 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:21.680 fucking quiz or whatever. I don't know enough algebra can't 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:30.800 fault him for that my quiz division. Um, but we 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:33.080 actually know that he fled the country immediately so he 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:36.960 wouldn't get murdered as suffer of his friends were. Um, 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.880 the CIA and the Egyptian intelligence forces helped him escape 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:41.400 to Cairo, where he was put up in a nice 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.400 apartment and apparently spent all of his time playing dominoes 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:48.520 for several years. Wait for several years, Yeah, he's he's 0:15:48.560 --> 0:15:51.680 there for a few years. It's playing dominos and dominoes. 0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:56.040 That is a sinister game to be playing for many years. 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.720 You know. That's seen in V for Vendetta. It's like 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.880 my least favorite scene of him all time, where like 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.920 v has set up a room full of dominoes for 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:07.800 this one, and it's like, who it took you? You 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:11.280 only live here, This must have taken sixteen hours, and 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:14.320 you're just like, hey, Natalie Portman, check this ship out. 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.400 And then he knocks down the whole thing. You're just like, 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:20.320 what are you doing? Such a crazy person move. It's 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:23.360 so like it could there be a big, bigger red 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.800 flag other than refusing to show your face. That movie 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:28.320 is infuriating. I'm sure the reality is he was like 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.520 playing dominoes with other people at cafes. But I like 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.200 to imagine him for just three straight years alone in 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:37.520 his apartment just building dominoes, and right, we don't I 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:41.240 guess yeah, dominoes. I forgot dominoes is also okay, and 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:44.880 not just I imagined him in like a ballroom just 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:48.440 assembling dominoes in different patterns and trying to get people 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:52.720 to be like, hey, you know, would be really cool. Um. 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:56.960 So nineteen sixty three rolls around, uh, Cossom gets assassinated 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:59.840 and Saddam is able to return to a rack, but 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:03.560 person by a different crew. Yeah, somebody, somebody else, not Saddam. Um, 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:06.920 I'm sure the CIA was still involved. Um. Saddam goes 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.160 back to Iraq, but it turned out the new government 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.320 wasn't a big fan of him and his fellow bathists either, 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:15.879 so he gets arrested in sixty four and sent to prison. Thankfully, 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.280 Iraqi prisons in the sixties kind of acted on the 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:22.120 honor system, So after two years of imprisonment, Saddam convinced 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:23.720 his guards to let he and some friends go to 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:25.720 a restaurant on their way to court. While he was 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:27.800 in the bathroom, he walked out of the back door. 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:33.240 I mean, that's fully on the jail, fully on them. 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:36.239 That is a wild policy. I also thought you were 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:41.800 going to say, fortunately, prisons in Iraq had dominoes. I 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:47.880 assume he's dominoing throughout this period, basically unchanged. So, um, 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:50.640 he gets out, Yeah, he gets out. He rises through 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:54.159 the ranks of the Bath Party, and in July nineteen 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:56.719 sixty eight, he helps to launch a coup that finally 0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:00.000 puts his party in power. Um, here's a quote from 0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:02.280 a book I found about how that morning went down. 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:04.879 He began by bringing out all of the weapons and 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:07.360 uniforms he had hidden in the house. His wife, Sagita, 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.080 helped in the preparations, as did their son Udai, who 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.560 ran around the room picking up hand grenades from the floor, 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.679 bringing them one by one to his father as if 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:18.880 they were toys. Oh scary. When did he get a son? 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:21.280 Oh yeah, I mean he's got a wife and kids 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:23.400 by this day. That that kind of happens after he's 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:26.320 out of prison, and okay, okay, so he's like, you know, 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:28.320 I'm really going to pull it together now, I'm going 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:31.320 to join an extremist party. I'm gonna have a wife 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:34.000 and kid, and a kid he's getting shipped done God, 0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:37.000 and then and so his kids touching grenades. Good good, good, 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:39.159 good good. I mean there's grenades all over I rack 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.320 they love those things. Um yeah. That quote is from 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:45.520 a Saddam sympathetic biography by Nita Renfrew. You can find 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:49.320 it online if you want. It's very much questioned, but 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:52.840 I am choosing to believe that particular depiction because it 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:56.720 warms my heart. I mean a moment for father hunt. Yeah, yeah, 0:18:56.760 --> 0:19:00.400 that's some quality dadding. Um, so the cougo's off without 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:03.520 a hitch. Saddam becomes the vice president. He's number two 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:06.800 to a guy named Hassan al Baker h Well. Vice President. 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:10.720 Saddam finishes his law degree in enrolls in the University Baghdad, 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.240 but he attends classes in disguise. Well that is a 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:19.640 bad movie. That's a secret vice president. My yeah, student 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:24.480 Mike Pence, he's just sitting in a biology class, getting 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:29.919 angrier and angrier. He can't say anything. Mike Pen's putting 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:33.160 on a wig and going to someone's chem class. They're 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:36.320 just explaining how like the age of the universe, and 0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:40.680 he's just like red faced, sweating and furious veins bulging 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:45.720 on his neck. Do they say anything about what the 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:49.679 disguise was, because if not, I'm going very silly, bigger mustache, 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:57.879 gigantic classes. No. I found no details on how he 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:00.520 was disguised, but he apparently had a life long habit 0:20:00.520 --> 0:20:04.600 of going around in disguise disguise. Okay, I'm imagining the 0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:07.439 disguise kit from the Master of Disguise, one of my 0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:11.520 favorite movies. You just dress up like a gigantic cherry 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:17.240 pie in a college class learning chemistry. That is so 0:20:17.359 --> 0:20:21.360 bizarre someone could have come to his house. Yeah, alright, Well, 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:23.800 we have some ads to break to. Uh. So we're 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:26.480 gonna sing a little song for sweet Lady Capitalism, and 0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:28.960 then when we are back, we're going to talk about 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:33.600 Saddam Hussein's love of reading, his rise to absolute power, 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:36.320 and of course his career as a romance novelist. All 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:45.800 that more after some ads, and we're back. Uh, and 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:48.200 we are talking about Saddam Hussein, who, at this point 0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:51.359 in our story has gone from an adorable lead pipe 0:20:51.359 --> 0:20:56.639 wielding child to the vice president of iraq Um. Saddam 0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:59.159 was vice president for eleven years, although for most of 0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:01.080 that time he was the are behind the scenes and 0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:04.239 he was actually in charge of the country. UM and 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:06.320 one of the first things he decided to do as 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:09.560 vice president was to spread his love of reading to 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.639 everyone in Iraq with what was essentially the most brutal 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:16.920 scholastic book fair in history. UM. He required every city 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:20.359 and village interact a host reading programs. Attendance was mandatory. 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:23.560