Speaker 1: Look man, oh I see you? Why and look over there?
Speaker 1: How is that ult? Yes? Goodness, let's oh my god.
Speaker 1: Who's next? The next group is called Natalie Portman. It'll
Speaker 1: make sense. Welcome Anna Brega, Welcome, Andy Hone, Julio. You
Speaker 1: saw them at an Banting. Welcome, Peter Smith. Okay, fabu,
Speaker 1: Natalie Portman. I get Natalie Portman from Vibe right, Okay,
Speaker 1: welcome to the micarea. Anah, I think Anna told me
Speaker 1: what hers is and it's really good. Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go pre selected. And this is this is because of
Speaker 1: an experience I had last weekend and said, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Carpeted restaurants. So what are
Speaker 1: you thinking putting a material that is absorbent and difficult
Speaker 1: to clean on the floor of a restaurant. It's like,
Speaker 1: would you put carpet in your kitchen. No, don't put
Speaker 1: it in a restaurant. Everything that spill that has ever
Speaker 1: touched that carpet is still in there. They are not
Speaker 1: putting the chairs up at night and getting like a
Speaker 1: steam cleaning vacuum to do a deep cleaning of the carpet.
Speaker 1: It's moldy, it's disgusting, and the people that are like
Speaker 1: you know, the restaurant owners to say, well, it helps
Speaker 1: us with the noise, it makes it less noisy. That's
Speaker 1: not a good trade off. That's that's like having your
Speaker 1: car stolen and being like wall at they I don't
Speaker 1: have to pay for gas now. No, get rid of that.
Speaker 1: And it's not only disgusting, it looks tacky as hell,
Speaker 1: and it makes the room damp. No one's eating, Like damn,
Speaker 1: I wish I was a little muggier in here. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, get rid of that carpet. Let's
Speaker 1: put in some hardwood floorist tile or that's one minute,
Speaker 1: that's one minute. I'd rather have linoleum than carpet in
Speaker 1: my restaurant. I'd rather have linoleum. You know what, Every
Speaker 1: dim Sum restaurant is shaking. Yeah, it's so true. Every
Speaker 1: fan Long Island is a cowaking. Oh my goodness, Hanna
Speaker 1: Grega carpet restaurants. Oh my god, come on, let's go.
Speaker 1: Let's go, Hanna Montana. And what are you thinking? How
Speaker 1: I'm feeling? Um, pre select, pre select, pret terrified. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, no, this isn't listen to know, I don't
Speaker 1: think so many our time starts now. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: thinking you're too good to talk shit? Thank yes, oh,
Speaker 1: clap for five seconds. Okay talking. If we don't talk ship,
Speaker 1: what do we have? Ask people, what do we have?
Speaker 1: It we don't talk shit is all we have? Is
Speaker 1: the oldest pastime is the oldest human past time I've been.
Speaker 1: I was raised by a woman who says to me
Speaker 1: every time I see her, the biggest mistake of my
Speaker 1: life is talking shit, but goes off on someone. You're
Speaker 1: not better than me for not talking shit. Okay, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: seriously though, seriously, if you're not a discerning person and
Speaker 1: you don't know what you don't like about other people,
Speaker 1: that you're not gonna self improve. Okay, talking, I have
Speaker 1: no allegiance to anybody. I'll talk about everyone behind. I'm
Speaker 1: not wrong for that. That is the right thing to do,
Speaker 1: because everybody's crazy. I'm mentally ill. Yeah, well it's actually
Speaker 1: ruled culture number one hundred. Everyone's crazy. I'm met, Fuck
Speaker 1: you fantastic, Wow, next top we have send me wow
Speaker 1: very un I knew I was following Alyssa. So what
Speaker 1: we're doing? What we're doing a pre select Sorry, I
Speaker 1: don't think of your time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: The Marvels Mrs mais al No, I'm sorry, but the
Speaker 1: lead actress who blazed Mrs Masl is not Jewish. I
Speaker 1: think that is fucked up. If that was anything else,
Speaker 1: if it was any other group, that when people would
Speaker 1: be marching in the streets, I feel like there is
Speaker 1: this when people say, oh my god, Rachel Brass the
Speaker 1: hands is such a good job. All I hear is wow, Wow,
Speaker 1: what a great cartoon of a jew. Wow, wow, what
Speaker 1: she does such a good job being so annoying and loud.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I don't think so, honey. But
Speaker 1: they have monks, so that's okay. But a second, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Get a jew in there? Got
Speaker 1: a jew in there? That's no, no, no, I love
Speaker 1: this is Mazel. You know why Mr is Mansel is Marvelo. No.
Speaker 1: You know why I love this is Mael because Alex
Speaker 1: Borstin is in it. And she played an Asian woman
Speaker 1: on TV. And it's good. It's good for it's good,
Speaker 1: it's good. It's representation. All right, let's get so little
Speaker 1: something from Julio Taure Hello, Hello, back Hellobo in crown.
Speaker 1: Well I found it backstage, really, so, yes I did.
Speaker 1: It was just there waiting for me. Oh, I think
Speaker 1: it looks fabulous, wonderful. Now we have the princess is present. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have your lips pressed up against the mic. And
Speaker 1: is that? Is this a battish performance? No, this is
Speaker 1: how I always am. Okay, okay, what are you? What
Speaker 1: are you thinking? In terms of priests, like the topic
Speaker 1: or the trouball, I will do a preest. The topic
Speaker 1: is Julio Torres. I don't think so, honey, starts now, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, Honey. My hunt's been lying to
Speaker 1: me by saying that the girl is dead and trying
Speaker 1: to fool me with a heart of a pig in
Speaker 1: a box. No, honey, if I ask you to kill
Speaker 1: the girl, kill the girl, don't lie to me. Now
Speaker 1: she's living in a forest with dwarves and I have
Speaker 1: to go finish the job. Honey, I don't think so. Funny,
Speaker 1: I have to learn I'm not the prettiest from my mirror. No, honey,
Speaker 1: I think that's all I have. Thank you, And that's
Speaker 1: forty to say it again, Torres. Wow, oh my god,
Speaker 1: And now it's almost like you get to kiss Julio
Speaker 1: if you put your mouth on the night. Wow. From
Speaker 1: now on, what do you think? Peter Smith? Get up there, Peter, ya,
Speaker 1: my yallma, oh my yah my, Peter. We're going to
Speaker 1: do a pre selected Peter Smith. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: And their time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Barrata.
Speaker 1: We've seen this stuff, uh, unfinished cheese raft and mozzarella
Speaker 1: tied in a knot, put on the table, like you
Speaker 1: should pay fifteen bucks for this, alright, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: All right, how they do this. They put the unfinished
Speaker 1: goop goop, cream curdled, come alright, a house. They put
Speaker 1: it inside a purse of finished mazzarella cheese. They took
Speaker 1: it up like one of those little bindles you walk
Speaker 1: along like that, and they serve it to you for over.
Speaker 1: This is double digits. We're talking about people on the
Speaker 1: build two digits. You know what. I love it. I
Speaker 1: love a tightly nodded thing with a creamy center. I
Speaker 1: love it, all right, I'm gay. I love it five seconds.
Speaker 1: I don't want like a discharged cow fetus as an appetizer.
Speaker 1: And that's what it is. You know what? I agree
Speaker 1: with you. I don't want that. I've never what are
Speaker 1: you going for? You got good stuff in me? Natalie Portman, Breasran,
Speaker 1: Peter Smith. Wow, wow, stunning, and now please belt on.
Speaker 1: The next group, which is entitled Horny Singles in your Area.
Speaker 1: Katherine Cohen and Sazuki. Let's make for them to come
Speaker 1: on stage. They are approaching the stage, Katherine Cohen and
Speaker 1: a Suzuki, Millie, tamarind Go Perkin and Pat Regan. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, treatment took front and center. Bitch, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: treatment bring to them. I Catherine Catherine, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: she's so shy, a shy perf stop, I'm wearing a diaper.
Speaker 1: CatCo what are even feeling? Prisoners speak? This is Tathan Cohens.
Speaker 1: I don't think so many our time starts now, I
Speaker 1: don't think so. Honey. Guys who pushed down on my
Speaker 1: clip absolutely not, honey, absolutely not. P s A. You
Speaker 1: weirdly don't have to punch my vagina to make me calm, honey,
Speaker 1: keep it like, keep us off. Tickle tickle. It's like when, okay,
Speaker 1: maybe like one time you're outside and you see a
Speaker 1: ladybug and you're like, Okay, ladybugs are a good luck
Speaker 1: and you like to see it on a piece of grass.
Speaker 1: And you're like, come here, a little lady. That's that's
Speaker 1: what I want, honey. Second, bitch, I know it's hard
Speaker 1: to find because my bush is hit with me huge
Speaker 1: and you know why, because that feels good to me
Speaker 1: in my life and I get rid of it. It
Speaker 1: hurt because of the razor burn. Honey. I don't think so, honey, Yes,
Speaker 1: take me to your apartment. I don't care if you
Speaker 1: have a bed. I don't care if you have a
Speaker 1: grand piano in there? Sure, and why not just if
Speaker 1: I'm second to keep it? Sof keep it, tickle tackle,
Speaker 1: keep it ladybug style, go la la lu la la?
Speaker 1: Is this even too much? Is this too much? Is
Speaker 1: to see? Asta? All bodies are different, but that's from
Speaker 1: my body. Welcome to the Mico Good evening, Anna, Oh,
Speaker 1: I can't wait for that. She looks like, yes, untangled
Speaker 1: on twirl on furl Are we doing a pre slaight
Speaker 1: to topic prela paris like to here's Anna and this
Speaker 1: is really controversial. I don't think so, honey. Bowling you're
Speaker 1: not a real sport. Honey, I don't care if you
Speaker 1: have a league. You are not a real sport. Honey.
Speaker 1: You know what real you know what? Real athleticism is
Speaker 1: me literally trying to figure out why you won't die,
Speaker 1: bie bowling die. I don't think so, honey. If you
Speaker 1: google is bowling the first suggestion is a real sport. No,
Speaker 1: you are not. Also draw Oh Wasna? What fucking snuff?
Speaker 1: What the fuck is killing Eve? No one is watching
Speaker 1: killing Eve today was not a great vehicle for her.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Sandra was snuff and bowling
Speaker 1: is not a sport. Five seconds but it seems like
Speaker 1: that's a rap and that ducky that's fifty five seconds. Wow,
Speaker 1: many controversial things. They're bowling out of sports, Sandra. Not
Speaker 1: given a vehicle by killing you know what. Everyone's entitled
Speaker 1: to their Everyone's entitled to their own as long it's
Speaker 1: not harmful. No one was hurt and everyone. Now, please
Speaker 1: talking to the mic Millie, yes, Millie, Oh, the coote Oh.
Speaker 1: I wanted them to be class lee stunning. Tell us forever, baby,
Speaker 1: Now tell us about your thoughts about pre selected topic
Speaker 1: and the trouble I'm doing pre selected because as a
Speaker 1: woman of color. You gotta work twice as hard. Yes,
Speaker 1: go for a clown because Milly tavers and I don't
Speaker 1: think so many her time starts. Now, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Nicki Minaje. Now, I know what you're asking. Millie, as
Speaker 1: an unapologetic Dominican woman. Are you obligated contractually to be
Speaker 1: team Cardi? And to that I answer yes. But first
Speaker 1: of all, you're corny, Nicki. You care about numbers. She
Speaker 1: was pressed that her album didn't make number one. You
Speaker 1: know what album didn't make number one? Carlie Ray Jebson's
Speaker 1: emotion And that's so ross all right? Now asking did
Speaker 1: I listen to Queen? No? I didn't. Why would I
Speaker 1: listen to Queen? Negro Swan came out by Blood Orange? Bob, Yes,
Speaker 1: the World by Travis Scott that came out. That's a
Speaker 1: Bob Minsky be the cowboy listening to Queen. Finally, Nicki
Speaker 1: minaj endorsed Andrew Cuomo, and let me tell you how,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. If this Trump's America, we're doing socialism. Baby. Yeah.
Speaker 1: When she endorsed Cuomo, I was out. I was out.
Speaker 1: That was catalier. Thank you, Millie, and now we're having
Speaker 1: to Wayne Perkins to them all overalls, overalls, Fine, what's
Speaker 1: it gonna be? Pre select This is strange, Perkins. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. People with more followers than me on
Speaker 1: social media, yeah yeah, fuck you, fuck you fuck you'll
Speaker 1: have to have more than five thousand. No. First of all,
Speaker 1: my social media is fantastic, Instagram, perfect, Twitter, absolutely stunned, LinkedIn,
Speaker 1: in accurate. So you think you're better than me because
Speaker 1: you have more followers, because strangers love you, strangers will
Speaker 1: love me too. If allowed less break stuff and if
Speaker 1: I said negless whatever, how much time left? All right?
Speaker 1: And also if you have less followers than me, what
Speaker 1: then are you doing? Work? Work harder? Step got game?
Speaker 1: Content is life? Just today I took a photo of
Speaker 1: me doing nothing and I was like, caption, you don't
Speaker 1: have to live to live. That is gold gold five
Speaker 1: seconds umt wow, Please retweet Dwayne Perkin. Rule number one
Speaker 1: hundred of culture. You don't have to live, you live.
Speaker 1: You don't have to live to live. Rule number one hundred,
Speaker 1: the second rule number one hundred of this evening you
Speaker 1: all right, everyone give it up for Multiple Icon Award
Speaker 1: winner from last Catos the newly Big Armed Party, I
Speaker 1: almost did my I don't think so, honey. On Patrigan
Speaker 1: suddenly having arms, it's harmful, on damaging to me and
Speaker 1: my family. And I want to say shirt by Top top,
Speaker 1: jeans by Nicola, body by Blank Pittnz he love is
Speaker 1: a franchise business. I don't support small business. I don't hat.
Speaker 1: I don't support that. Excuse me, what are we doing
Speaker 1: pre select? Or are we doing trouballs? I my whole life.
Speaker 1: I've come up here and I've done pre selected yea.
Speaker 1: But now as I get older, the planets being where
Speaker 1: they are right now, they're in such a place, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do trouball. What storic? Storic Pat Regan could be?
Speaker 1: Perfore you bitch back the funk up. I know you
Speaker 1: have arms now, but back then it's crazy. Okay, I
Speaker 1: love this, Pat Regan, your trouball. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Is Ricky Martin and your time starts now? I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, Ricky Martin. Okay, I don't remember if
Speaker 1: you're gay or not. You should be more. He is gay,
Speaker 1: he is gay. I don't think so honey, be more vocal,
Speaker 1: be out there. I don't think so, honey, Ricky Martin,
Speaker 1: like you need to be writing new stuff every day.
Speaker 1: Like I am an artist. I'm working. I'm working. If
Speaker 1: I didn't come out with new stuff, I would be
Speaker 1: out there. I don't think so, honey, Ricky Martin, like
Speaker 1: you're too hot. I think I'm like really attracted to you,
Speaker 1: and your seemed uninterested. I don't think so, honey. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Ricky Martin. At one time I
Speaker 1: saw you want to watch what Happens Life that you
Speaker 1: were boring as fuck. I don't think so, honey, Mickey Martin, Um,
Speaker 1: your music is trash. I don't think so, honey. You
Speaker 1: Ricky Martin, UM you um where um too much black?
Speaker 1: I want to see color block more. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know think so honey. Ricky Martin, your stupid bitch.
Speaker 1: I don't. You're such a fucking stupid bet so. I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't stand you. And Ricky Martin wasn't him like
Speaker 1: announces Dick was smaller than took it back. Somebody get
Speaker 1: that look it up and something to think about with Pariagan,
Speaker 1: it was him or Enrique, look it up. They came
Speaker 1: out with a special condom brand for smalldic condoms there
Speaker 1: like it's because I have a small dick, and then
Speaker 1: when they got made put on there like I was
Speaker 1: just kidding about that. I think that might have been Enrique.
Speaker 1: He feels like the smaller penis to me. We don't
Speaker 1: have to discuss this. This has been horny singles in
Speaker 1: your area with Catherine Color this time away Perkin, the
Speaker 1: newly big Arms Barry. Let's keeping the thing. We're more
Speaker 1: than halfway through the show. We're almost done, and this
Speaker 1: troop is called Okay, I need that down. Welcome mo
Speaker 1: Fry Passing, fabulous Kicko Sware Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: Katy Hart, Welcome Natalie Walker weary. Oh so the sun
Speaker 1: Queens have arrived. Now give us a moment and br Yes,
Speaker 1: this group is already shaking it up a little bit,
Speaker 1: and now we're going to continue to say shaking it
Speaker 1: up with the mo Fry pass I could you please
Speaker 1: tell us if you're going to do a priest like
Speaker 1: the topic or dive into the trollball, because last time
Speaker 1: you wanted to the trouball it was messy. Because you've
Speaker 1: got David Bowie. This is for David Bowie, and I
Speaker 1: think that's just like fun um no, And it's not
Speaker 1: even because of that experience I grew from that. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do now, Okay, I don't think so honey, being
Speaker 1: a young, beautiful, gorgeous New York on you and yet
Speaker 1: somehow still having a hemorrhoid. Oh are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: Think so honey. It's like you wake up, you're having
Speaker 1: a good day, You look at you, you say, I
Speaker 1: mean that's fantastic, and then a sudden you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my asshole hurts, what's going on? And you look down
Speaker 1: it's like what the funk? And I can google and
Speaker 1: it's like what is a hemrod? And they're like, did
Speaker 1: you mean hemorrhoid? And you're like, oh my god. I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey. It's like, if I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: rooting around in my asshole for twenty minutes, a better
Speaker 1: be for sexual gratification. I don't think, so honey, telling
Speaker 1: someone about it and then being like, oh my une,
Speaker 1: I've had them before. I'm like, all my experiences are.
Speaker 1: You don't never relate to me. You should be shocked
Speaker 1: that this body this face has a hemorrhoid. It is crazy.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. I guess I don't think so, honey, God,
Speaker 1: I will grow and learn from this. Thank you so much,
Speaker 1: our second id. And honestly, I'm right. It can happen
Speaker 1: to you. Anyone cannot It can happen to you. I
Speaker 1: never thought it would happen to me. God, God, she's
Speaker 1: having a rough night. God got me with a hemorrhoid
Speaker 1: two thousand ten. Yeah she did, And she got me
Speaker 1: with a hemrhoden. You never had a hemorrhoid? No, never,
Speaker 1: I have? Um no, I never had one. But I
Speaker 1: should out beef stew every day and so that his
Speaker 1: buttle has different problems than mine. Now, please welcome to
Speaker 1: the day. We're single, by the way, um legendary. We
Speaker 1: have a question and she has an answer. Is it
Speaker 1: gonna be the topic or the troll ball for me?
Speaker 1: I think, oh, this is she's got a predilection for preselection.
Speaker 1: This is I don't think so many our time starts. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Cards against Humanity that she
Speaker 1: is dumb. That's a dumb game. That is a very
Speaker 1: very bad game. Now I won't play any game, I
Speaker 1: will play, go fucking fish. But you're telling me when
Speaker 1: when people like oh Left play Card against Humanity, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I think I'll watch why because when Apples to Apples
Speaker 1: came around, I already had an eye roll, and then
Speaker 1: we made it worse because it's so bad. You're telling
Speaker 1: me we're gonna sit in a circle and just say
Speaker 1: gutter words. We don't need to pay to do that.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, we can do that right now.
Speaker 1: Someone give me an adjective ending in I n G
Speaker 1: normal one, running, running, okay, running, I'll pick a noun.
Speaker 1: With my grandmother feels like now you say the most
Speaker 1: gutter thing on your brain right now, gut hello, okay.
Speaker 1: Running with my grandmother feels like dick in my mouth. Hello.
Speaker 1: That's that cartoon humanity by that's one minute. Wow. I
Speaker 1: love describing bad words as gutters gutter words. It's a
Speaker 1: gutter word. Up, thank you, kick out. Now we have
Speaker 1: stunt queen Katie hardness wow wow, wow, a stunt queen.
Speaker 1: Stunt Katie. What is it going to be? Okay, So
Speaker 1: here's what happened. Here's what happened last night. I felt
Speaker 1: I passed out on my couch. I was very drunk,
Speaker 1: and I never passed out on my couch. I woke
Speaker 1: up in the middle of the night. I remember waking
Speaker 1: up and being like, I have a fucking great idea
Speaker 1: for I don't think so, And I wrote it in
Speaker 1: my phone and I fell asleep, and I woke up
Speaker 1: this morning and I don't remember what I wrote and
Speaker 1: I did not look at it, so what I'm good.
Speaker 1: It may not make any sense, so it's a pre
Speaker 1: selected but I wrote it in a blackout dream, A
Speaker 1: blackout dream. Okay, here we go, enter the blackout dream
Speaker 1: void and your time starts now. I don't think so. Honey,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend's penis dipped in garlic butter. You are the
Speaker 1: perfect thing. And yet if I put you in my vagina,
Speaker 1: you might tie of bacterial poison me and maybe never
Speaker 1: get a East infection again, or maybe never get a
Speaker 1: East infection again because garlic is anti HEAs. It would
Speaker 1: be like fucking the Surfs or who are the oh
Speaker 1: the are the savory version of the Smurfs. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: fuck the garlic bar take so hard and too long,
Speaker 1: like nine hours straight, and then a doctor or in
Speaker 1: turn at a medical facility would be like, excuse me,
Speaker 1: don't do that. That's too long. But it would be
Speaker 1: too late, and then I would just a delicious herby
Speaker 1: butter comes foot it over, I said, I wrote porn,
Speaker 1: but it should be pan seared scallops would get me
Speaker 1: a three three Michelin stars. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend's penistitching curly one. Oh my god, fantastic. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: that is literally that lives in my prayer. That's what
Speaker 1: lives inside you. You frecko. Wow, Oh my god. It
Speaker 1: is Katie harm and everybody and now they feeling a
Speaker 1: new jo. It's Natalie walker I do oh my good
Speaker 1: mana esque talk, Yes, okay, how do you feel all right? Uh?
Speaker 1: Like Uma Thurman, Harvey Weinstein. I have to take time
Speaker 1: to formulate. Uh and I'm just so angry. So this
Speaker 1: is something that I had to formulate. So it is
Speaker 1: a pre select here. It sounds like it's going to
Speaker 1: be a hurricane. This is Natalie Walkers. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Or time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Glenn Close,
Speaker 1: I have always been underwhelmed by you as an entity,
Speaker 1: but the catalyst for my augmented vitriol this evening is
Speaker 1: that you said, of the Scarlett Johanson Rubin Tug controversy,
Speaker 1: anyone should be able to play anyone. Oh, you think
Speaker 1: anyone should play anyone, regardless of whether they meet any
Speaker 1: of the qualifying criteria for the role. Unsurprising take coming
Speaker 1: from someone who did a musical without meeting the basic
Speaker 1: qualification of being able to sing Boulevard. You stolen butchered
Speaker 1: those songs after Patti Lapone nailed them in the original
Speaker 1: West End production, and I believe as a cosmic retribution
Speaker 1: for this, you have had to watch women lap you
Speaker 1: in your most famous performances Fatal Attraction. Erica Christensen did
Speaker 1: it better in Swim fand Marumartoya and Dangerous relasly as
Speaker 1: Sarah Michelle Gellard did it better in Cruel Intentions. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know that your Carrilla Devilla will be eclipse by
Speaker 1: Emma Stone in the recently announced prequel. In conclusion, Glenn Close,
Speaker 1: you are the Grandhog of Prestige. Actressays, we bring you
Speaker 1: out of hibernation. You see Meryl streep Shadow and you
Speaker 1: are faded to another six years of winter inside it,
Speaker 1: where you belong. I don't think so, high ship you
Speaker 1: was there. She did that, and she didn't even mention
Speaker 1: after the scar Joe thing, did not even mention fucking
Speaker 1: Albert na Albert Knobs. Let me play a trans man.
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking woman. Wait, best Glenn Closet memory. We
Speaker 1: went to go see her in Sunset Boulevard on my
Speaker 1: birthday in the worst imaginable seats, way on the top.
Speaker 1: She walks out. All we could see was her feet
Speaker 1: on top of the thing, and everyone is applauding and screaming,
Speaker 1: and we were like screaming for her feet. And then
Speaker 1: she was not you know you guys don't care? Did
Speaker 1: you guys not care? Not for you? For me? Thanks?
Speaker 1: Love you? All right? Larry Alway, does anyone still wear
Speaker 1: a gown? It's the theme? Okay, Larry, I was gonna right,
Speaker 1: all right, talk about what are we gonna do? It's straw.
Speaker 1: It's straw. I'm picking a good one. The good ones
Speaker 1: are on the bottom. Okay, they sink I picked it.
Speaker 1: I picked it. Here we go. Sure, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Topic is Sean Ramsey. I don't think so, honey, John
Speaker 1: Bernet Ramsey, I could give less than one millions of
Speaker 1: a fuck about any white bitch? Do you know what
Speaker 1: the fun the black American has been through and continues
Speaker 1: to exist under your fucking tabloid ass headline? Ass sixty
Speaker 1: minute ass click bang in the age of now, ass
Speaker 1: will not give me fuck that bitch, and fuck you
Speaker 1: will think that I will not eviscerate that bitch on
Speaker 1: stage right second, Joan Benna, I'm that what are you
Speaker 1: a fucking drag queen? You got a fucking death drop
Speaker 1: out of heaven to your second death because I'm shooting
Speaker 1: you down, bitch, shift kick that. I don't motherfucking think so, honey,
Speaker 1: I don't get honey, I don't excney, and I'm excid
Speaker 1: so times. The world just gives you a gift, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? The world says here, a gift
Speaker 1: given up for Okay, I need that count Mo ride passage,
Speaker 1: Hey Harmed, Larry Owens, true fucking freaks, freaks now of nature.
Speaker 1: Let's welcome this next group. They are called only Fans
Speaker 1: dot Com. Welcome, j Mazzoni, Welcome, Sam Tuggers, Maps Wind,
Speaker 1: Dave Gunzals and Joe Castle Baker. Wow. They all have
Speaker 1: only fans dot com accounts. You can watch them jack
Speaker 1: off for like forty bucks. Sure, Dave Mazzoni Orange, come
Speaker 1: on serving orange tonight, serving orange. Talk to me about
Speaker 1: pre selected topic or trouble. What do you think I
Speaker 1: have a pre selected topic? It's like Ben Semi addressed.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna go in in a brand new way.
Speaker 1: Everyone has one. This is damon Semi. I don't think
Speaker 1: so many as time starts now, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Lady Gaga's character in A Star is Born being named Ali.
Speaker 1: This is Lady fucking Gaga, Okay, Like Ali is like
Speaker 1: a barista. Ali like has a party when her parents
Speaker 1: out of town and the cops came, but we all
Speaker 1: ran and it was five. Like Ali is a niece.
Speaker 1: You know, Ali is not the name of Lady fucking
Speaker 1: Magoogle's character in A Star is Born. And I want
Speaker 1: es Morelda. What I think Gaga? I think Candelabra. I
Speaker 1: think like long three thousand year backstory. I don't want
Speaker 1: a girl named Ali who like doesn't like the singer
Speaker 1: on the song. So I don't think so, honey. The
Speaker 1: name of Ali should be Steffani or something better. But
Speaker 1: I'll still be there. And if it's bad, you'll never
Speaker 1: see me again. That's one minute. You gotta leave town.
Speaker 1: If it's bad, Wow, has to go. Ali is a cousin,
Speaker 1: you remember culture Ali Ane, Yes, please let them Sam,
Speaker 1: Ali Tagger? Oh oh shut up, you look like so good.
Speaker 1: You look so amazing, look like trash. Shut up, you
Speaker 1: look so good. I look bad. Everyone knows that. Everyone's
Speaker 1: talking about it. You look so so. I can hear
Speaker 1: the whispers. You've never looked better, baby better, Sam, What
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Here's the funked up part.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what's suked up about it? I'm honestly
Speaker 1: going to do pre selected okay, Sam Dagger. He's a
Speaker 1: free because I think so many time starts and now okay,
Speaker 1: I do not think so, honey. A core that is
Speaker 1: unengaged select when engaged. Car. Here's the thing. I know
Speaker 1: what you're thinking. You're like, I'm at the gym, I'm
Speaker 1: doing biceps. Like what am I doing with the rest
Speaker 1: of my body? You can relax, right, I'm working on
Speaker 1: my arms. No, no, you have to keep that court
Speaker 1: engaged the whole time. And like, look, and I know
Speaker 1: what you're thinking, like, oh, like he's being so pre
Speaker 1: cheap and like no, like I'm not telling you this
Speaker 1: just till like like here's the thing. Like I work
Speaker 1: with children, and every single day I tell them, Look,
Speaker 1: it's never too young to start working on your core.
Speaker 1: Like you have to focus and just keep it engaged.
Speaker 1: And what's really really cool about all of it is
Speaker 1: like even sitting in your chair right now, you can
Speaker 1: be engaging that core and like people think, oh, it's
Speaker 1: so hard, but I simply don't think so. On the
Speaker 1: unengaged court, could it engaged? And oh my god, Sam,
Speaker 1: the whole time I was so so loud and I
Speaker 1: wasn't engaging my core. I love. It's actually so important.
Speaker 1: I'm not even like trying to be preache eating. I
Speaker 1: know I'm not. I'm not pulling. I'm not pulling my
Speaker 1: way back. Guys, everyone's set up. Engage your core, engage
Speaker 1: your cords right now. Yeah, you had a great, great,
Speaker 1: great job. That's so important. Like Max Winter, Ma, Max, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's fall, we get it. It's fall. Actually that's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: salet sale. Actually I'm sorry, I just wear it that
Speaker 1: al right now? Actually it is really hot? Actually, Max,
Speaker 1: should I just okay, fine what it's fall it's fault.
Speaker 1: What are we gonna do? Um, I'm gonna do. Uh.
Speaker 1: Like I had a brief moment. I know it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, like a like gorgeous, like like it was
Speaker 1: sort of like a gas blew it. It was like,
Speaker 1: you know, like really still water and you like see
Speaker 1: you're like shimmering reflection. Yea, yeah, I know that I've
Speaker 1: been But you know, Max, that water that's still is stagnant.
Speaker 1: So don't do don't do that. Don't so don't do
Speaker 1: then Okay, Max, it sounds like we're increased lock did
Speaker 1: I'm doing Wait what it sounds like we're doing creaz Yes? Yes, sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry for clem uh. This is Max wheters. I
Speaker 1: don't think so many as time starts now, I don't
Speaker 1: think so many apples? Why are they so heavy when
Speaker 1: you put them in a bag. One apple in my
Speaker 1: hand light is a feather. Two apples in my hand
Speaker 1: light is two feathers. Three apples in the back of
Speaker 1: the sucking bowling ball. Try to pick up a bag
Speaker 1: all the five apples and my figures got whipped off
Speaker 1: and they sprayed blood everywhere. Why is it that, like
Speaker 1: I can't pick up a bag full of five apples,
Speaker 1: and yet an apple pie that has twenty nine apples
Speaker 1: in it light said, I can hold that on my fingertip,
Speaker 1: spin around, and eat it in one setting. That's fucking ridiculous. Also,
Speaker 1: fuck apple culture in general. I don't like that apples
Speaker 1: are constantly like sycophantically buying to be like the symbol
Speaker 1: of ball that belongs to the pumpkin that is the pumpkins,
Speaker 1: you know what, And and you can't beat the gorgeous
Speaker 1: lumpy drama that is a pumpkin. So I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: chris Man, don't there's money, Crisp. I actually agree with
Speaker 1: I think so honey apples, But I deeply do think
Speaker 1: so honey. Apple cinnamon, right, apple cinnamon. I love that.
Speaker 1: And he's so sick of Apple's syco fantically vying to
Speaker 1: be the symbol of fall that honor belongs to the
Speaker 1: gorgeous slumpiness of the pros. Thank you, Bis, story of words,
Speaker 1: and now it is time forget game. All right, Gabe,
Speaker 1: what are we doing? A topic of the trouball? Um,
Speaker 1: So I've died dipped my dick into the trouball before
Speaker 1: I'm I did. I'm doing pre select sounds good? Is
Speaker 1: I don't think so many as time starts in the
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Fema, because y'all showed your
Speaker 1: asses when you made the same mistake my gringo ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend made in college. You piste off of Puerto Rican,
Speaker 1: asked him how that worked out. I don't think so, honey, Fema.
Speaker 1: Don't tell me you can't bring supplies to Puerto Rico
Speaker 1: on a plane when Mike and mother regularly makes that
Speaker 1: flight with her carry on a cake for someone's baptism,
Speaker 1: two soup pots, and a roast chicken wrapped in foil,
Speaker 1: riding coach on American thirty second. I don't think so, honey, Fema,
Speaker 1: because several real house lives did your job better than you.
Speaker 1: Bethany Frankel has the time to invent Skinny Bitch vodka
Speaker 1: and help the Puero Rican people. What have you done
Speaker 1: with your life? I don't think so, honey, Fema, because
Speaker 1: if you're raggedy ass ancestors had enough weapons to bring
Speaker 1: across the ocean in to collonize Puerto Rico, there is
Speaker 1: no excuse for not being able to bring food in
Speaker 1: supplanting seventeen. I don't think so, honey, because I bet
Speaker 1: you think you can still shake your aster Jenny from
Speaker 1: the block. She is Puerto Rican, So I think the
Speaker 1: fuck not diverse, honey. That's Frank. I was showing you up, female,
Speaker 1: and that's the team everyone giving up for Joe. That's
Speaker 1: a baker. Jojo jojo joo. Oh my god, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: my god. Okay, So I feel like this is such
Speaker 1: a huge risk. I'm about to take on like full
Speaker 1: on bareback sex. But I'm gonna do the trouble rights
Speaker 1: going rob Baby, We're going wrong, We're going wrong. Here
Speaker 1: we go your I don't think so ony. Topic is
Speaker 1: Denzel Washington, Okay, Denzel Washington. Denzel Washington. I have seen
Speaker 1: maybe one movie in my life from period and it
Speaker 1: wasn't a Denzel Washington movie. Um So, culturally, I have
Speaker 1: zero points of reference from now on for the next
Speaker 1: forty five seconds. Um Denzel Washington, anyone name a movie
Speaker 1: he was in? Why I haven't seen it. I haven't
Speaker 1: seen it, Equalizer, haven't seen it, Training Day, Training Day,
Speaker 1: haven't seen that Titans. Okay. If Denzel Washington played a
Speaker 1: gay man in Brooklyn, Philadelphia. I haven't seen it. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. That's the thing that's so crazy story any
Speaker 1: of it. I haven't seen movies period. Um. Yeah, Denzel Washington.
Speaker 1: Actually know what? I actually like Denzel Washington. I realized
Speaker 1: just now I actually like Denzel Washington. I'm coming around now.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go home and watch a Denzel Washington movie.
Speaker 1: That's what I got in my mine. You know what,
Speaker 1: we saw a full arc. We saw a full arc
Speaker 1: someone who didn't know the any movies he was in
Speaker 1: and now he's gonna go see And that is education.
Speaker 1: That is only fans dot Com. Give it up for
Speaker 1: Days Mazzoning, that first Staggerwetter Game, Gonzala, Joe Castle, Baker. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're almost John. This next group is scrub up toub bish. Welcome,
Speaker 1: Sarah Tolama. Give it up for Rebecca O'Neill. We Oh no, wait, Rachel,
Speaker 1: give it up for Rachel. Give it up for Lesa Tragger. Hello, Hi, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: it is time for Sarah Tolma. Mother Sarah, what's it
Speaker 1: gonna be? What do you think I'm gonna go with?
Speaker 1: Pre selection? Is Sarah Telmases? I don't think so. One
Speaker 1: of your time starts now, all right, Um, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, buying things online is this really convenient?
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm always in a six month loop
Speaker 1: of returning thing. It's like a passive aggressive haunting that
Speaker 1: I've invited into my house. I you know, like, first
Speaker 1: of all, I always have to figure out like a
Speaker 1: game plan of how I'm going to return this item
Speaker 1: this time around, where it's like, can you print this label?
Speaker 1: I'm like, I would, but I don't have ink right
Speaker 1: now for my printer, and I don't feel like buying
Speaker 1: it at the store because I can't remember twenties serial numbers.
Speaker 1: And if I did buy it online, I just wouldn't
Speaker 1: receive it because I don't have a doorman. So now
Speaker 1: I have to go to Kinko's and print up a
Speaker 1: label to return a piece of ship item I don't
Speaker 1: care about. That was quite deceitful what I didn't want.
Speaker 1: And I'm standing behind some crazy guy that's like photocopying
Speaker 1: his head shots, where I'm like, if you have to
Speaker 1: photocopy your head shots and a Kinko's, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: make it. That's just the true, right. It is so
Speaker 1: annoying Kinkos is a place for crazy people. There's a
Speaker 1: holy shelter. It's just crazy over there. Um and that's one. Wait.
Speaker 1: I'm good, thank you. Yes, yes, I agree. Also, I
Speaker 1: don't want to get anything in the mail, because then
Speaker 1: I had to be I don't think so many people
Speaker 1: signing for things, you know what I mean? Just put
Speaker 1: it in the fucking thing. Put it in the thing. Everyone. Welcome,
Speaker 1: Rebecca here, baby, Hello, Hello, Hello, how are you Rebecca?
Speaker 1: What's up? Prince on top? Auntie? Fashion for Life? Lets fashion?
Speaker 1: Are we doing? Preselected? Are the trouble? I did trouble
Speaker 1: last time, and I've messed up. I picked out Elizabeth
Speaker 1: Warren and I roasted Gabby Gifford's for a minute. Because
Speaker 1: all white politicians look the same to me, I'm calling
Speaker 1: me crazy. So I'm going preselected. I won't make the same.
Speaker 1: I don't think so many of our times. I'm coming
Speaker 1: for a New York culture. I don't think so honey
Speaker 1: bow days. I'm moved here, bro Chicago a year are go?
Speaker 1: Okay from the murder cabin. Okay, we have we have
Speaker 1: Delis and we have corner stores, but they are two
Speaker 1: separate commercial enterprises. Okay, at a bodega in Chicago, there's
Speaker 1: no people cooking in the kitchen. There's people cooking here,
Speaker 1: which is quite in a little unsanitary. I don't think so, honey. Okay,
Speaker 1: at a bodega in Chicago, you can get the shirt,
Speaker 1: he's like, you can get a blunt, you can get
Speaker 1: a cool beverage, you can get a warm orange ship
Speaker 1: like that. Okay, but I don't think so, honey. I
Speaker 1: gotta gripe with New York bodegas. Why do the bodega
Speaker 1: dudes ask what you wanna sandwich? If they're gonna do
Speaker 1: whatever the funk they feel anyway? That's phony, like be real,
Speaker 1: call yourself a tastemaker, a concierge, and shit like that.
Speaker 1: You know what. I don't think, so honey. This is
Speaker 1: a fat gripe. But that's cool with me. I'm done
Speaker 1: by that. Is sorry that they do whatever they want
Speaker 1: with the sandwich. It's lawless, anarchy and the Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Mike Rachel Drovsky, Ray Jay, Here we go, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,
Speaker 1: how do we feel about the decision that is? Hold on?
Speaker 1: I gotta you're from Chicago. I'm also from Chicago. Let's
Speaker 1: talk high schools later, CPS Peyton with me young. Hell yeah,
Speaker 1: this is relevant to only us too. You're trier treer
Speaker 1: boom CPS. Okay, today's my birthday. I just want to
Speaker 1: have birthday, Team Bay, Happy birthday. Now are we doing
Speaker 1: on this birthday? I wrote a little something something because
Speaker 1: I'm a writer at har writer a aunt hard and
Speaker 1: we have the written word courtesy of Rachel Darovsky. Time
Speaker 1: and starts now, Okay, I don't think so honey, having
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey on my birthday? All right,
Speaker 1: commemorating my day of birth by gathering all the comedians
Speaker 1: I respect moats in NYC or, as I like to
Speaker 1: call it, the big as motherfucking Apple, I don't think
Speaker 1: so Okay, birthday right, y'all right, y'all take up. Birthdays
Speaker 1: are meant to be celebrated in solitude where I can
Speaker 1: think about who I once was, who I am, and
Speaker 1: who I ultimately will become. Okay, making a planning a
Speaker 1: birthday party and she's like eascurating it at that comedy show,
Speaker 1: even though it was likely booked months in advance. I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey. And five seconds? What did I
Speaker 1: do last year? I thought about what I was gonna
Speaker 1: do about insurance because I was getting off my parents
Speaker 1: and I don't think so audience now calculating how old
Speaker 1: I am, that's one. Put that over there, that's where
Speaker 1: it goes. Now, that's a new home, Rachel. Everyone on
Speaker 1: the burn and to get that up for Rachel Pegram. Wow,
Speaker 1: thank the winner the gauntlet through Gag Francisco and the
Speaker 1: winner of that prestigious title. And well here we go.
Speaker 1: I hope it translates what are we doing? It's gonna
Speaker 1: be pre select Okay, Rachel Pegram's I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Our time starts now. Okay, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Babies that come out with hair, Okay, go back inside.
Speaker 1: I don't want you full of hair. You're a bullast human.
Speaker 1: If I have a baby that comes out with a
Speaker 1: full head of hair, I'm a shipping up to school
Speaker 1: because that is a what a fault? That isn't adult?
Speaker 1: That bitch been in there too? Damn low? Was it
Speaker 1: nine months? Was it ten? It wasn't. It isn't a
Speaker 1: whole year old. And don't get me started on teeth.
Speaker 1: If that baby comes out with teeth, if the baby
Speaker 1: has teeth when it comes out. If you cannot wait out,
Speaker 1: you gotta let it go. Yes, you heard me right.
Speaker 1: I am permitting killing babies. If your baby comes out
Speaker 1: with hair and teeth, it didn't deserve to live because
Speaker 1: it is a mutant. I want my babies like bowling balls,
Speaker 1: soft and only have the three normal wholes. They should round,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever, that cas whatever. Listen, Baby as babies.
Speaker 1: Baby should be sucking babies. You know. Baby should be babies,
Speaker 1: and they should not be able to do anything else.
Speaker 1: Would be soft and round and simple and don't and
Speaker 1: not be able to talk. And oh my god, if
Speaker 1: I see a baby that opens its eyes, I'll let
Speaker 1: it go down the river. Let me go down the river.
Speaker 1: That baby could become Moses and rise up against you.
Speaker 1: We know the tale of Moses. We know. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the stage, Lisa Tragon, Hi, baby, not so good. You
Speaker 1: guys look great. It looks so good. I love the belts.
Speaker 1: It's a harness. That's the harness. Who were listen? What
Speaker 1: are we thinking? I love when they do that? All right?
Speaker 1: Here we go, Okay, you'r I don't think so Onny trollball.
Speaker 1: Topic is Billie Jean Kang and her time starts. Now, Wow,
Speaker 1: I need a moment. I mean, I think she can
Speaker 1: have better hair. Um, I'll start there. I think it's
Speaker 1: like a mini baby mullet, like the lamb chop mom.
Speaker 1: But so I don't like that, um little round glasses.
Speaker 1: That's a weird trend. She been doing that. Um, she
Speaker 1: did look athletic on the court. I don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: I wish I wish she had more drama. She's kind
Speaker 1: of boring, Like, why isn't there a drug addiction? Why
Speaker 1: isn't there a secret love affair. Why you're just following
Speaker 1: the rules and just playing. That's kind of stupid. Um.
Speaker 1: And but I'm glad she beat that guy. I I
Speaker 1: really didn't say enough bad things. Opportunity. Oh god. Um,
Speaker 1: I wish she was in this sense. I mean in
Speaker 1: my I wish I could see her play. M So,
Speaker 1: that's so fuck you for being old bitch. Belly jin
Speaker 1: King Roasted Tonight by Lisa Tregor just pretty on impeachable.
Speaker 1: She's great, Sarah Tolamas, everybody, Rebecca O'Neil, Rachel Drowski and
Speaker 1: leaves a train to make a last minute change. Alright,
Speaker 1: the final group of the night. Are we ready for this?
Speaker 1: This group is called Jack Twist Jack Nasty, and it
Speaker 1: is large XMO. It's all Ramier and Michael Hartney. Here
Speaker 1: we go, and maybe Laualy is not here. That's do
Speaker 1: we not have a Laura life? Okay, let's get it
Speaker 1: going with shut No, what's it gonna be selected topics.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Someone of your time starts now. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, white people wearing red hats.
Speaker 1: I need to be able to listen. I need to
Speaker 1: be able to tell from a distance whether or not
Speaker 1: we funk with each other. Whoever made the designer that
Speaker 1: Maga had made the font too things. You gotta be
Speaker 1: a real close. I can't tell whether or not you're
Speaker 1: a hipster or you're a racist. The same thing goes
Speaker 1: for those neo Nazi haircuts, you know, with the shave
Speaker 1: size and the long on top. I looked around and
Speaker 1: I saw a few y'all, few of y'all out there. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's over for that. Okay, listen, white people, I know
Speaker 1: you feel that my people, gay people, black people, that
Speaker 1: we're taking your roles and your opportunities and your privileges.
Speaker 1: And I'm here to take another one from you. Okay,
Speaker 1: no more red hats, no more red hats, no more
Speaker 1: neo Nazi haircuts, and no Tucker Brian Ryan. All y'all
Speaker 1: know you cannot say nigga. That's what I don't think, so, honey,
Speaker 1: White people making races signifier it's trendy. No more red hats. No,
Speaker 1: no more red hats. I don't care if it says
Speaker 1: love on it. Red hots are castled whenever make America.
Speaker 1: Gagg No, it's not funny. You know was fucking funny
Speaker 1: x my. Yeah, I am obsessed. Yes, I must shop it.
Speaker 1: I am not that brave. No troubles, pre select dead,
Speaker 1: pre selected. Come on, I don't think her time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Lord of the Rags. Okay,
Speaker 1: I just saw that ship and didn't take that motherfucker
Speaker 1: six hours to get a motherfucking ring, and the bitch
Speaker 1: didn't even have diamonds on it, and the ship first
Speaker 1: of all, that little gang up, little crack head motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Every time my motherfucker popped up, I was like, Utch,
Speaker 1: your little Bobby brown ass Guenney, he'll stay cra out
Speaker 1: gamn dog. He's the only ally and all the ship
Speaker 1: don't get me starting his motherfucking hobbits. All ain't like
Speaker 1: his ass titties and weed they got they got fucking
Speaker 1: new balances for motherfucking feet. And then that's not one
Speaker 1: motherfucking black person. We don't even sweep, we don't take
Speaker 1: care of the kids. And then who is that in
Speaker 1: that aragorn flf bitch? Oh my god? Every time shift
Speaker 1: pop up, I'm like, bitch, solved the problem or leave?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? The funk are you doing? And
Speaker 1: brod I never got a motherfucking manicure them ship looks
Speaker 1: like bad out And who's the other one? Who's the bitch? Shit?
Speaker 1: He was making all a little half half animal half people.
Speaker 1: Um Goladril are we? He was fuck Diablo, That's what
Speaker 1: the funk I'm gonna call him. He was the demon.
Speaker 1: I liked his hair, I really did, like, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: go Lidrill, go Lidrill Ultar known as that erragorn elf
Speaker 1: bit give it up for alex Lex learns hi. Hi.
Speaker 1: We went to see Gaga together last summer, Yes, and
Speaker 1: it rained right, it rained, and Gaga said free production.
Speaker 1: Wow the queen. Now listen, what are we thinking? Is that.
Speaker 1: I like the last time I was here, I came
Speaker 1: on stage and I asked you, what is the troullball?
Speaker 1: Can we found out? I'm gonna do pre selective, pre
Speaker 1: selective songs. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now,
Speaker 1: all right, I don't think so honey, putting on a
Speaker 1: brave face. So now a little backstory about where this
Speaker 1: came from. Is um, I got the email from Matt.
Speaker 1: I woke up in the middle o the night, and
Speaker 1: which was six am. Um for me, that's the middle
Speaker 1: of the night. And I wrote down, I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey, putting on a brave face. And I put
Speaker 1: my phone away, and now we're back. Then we're on stage.
Speaker 1: So here we are. You don't think so honey putting
Speaker 1: on a brave face? Who do you think you are?
Speaker 1: Tony collect I get it. Yeah, And that's the one
Speaker 1: joke I wrote. Let's do some CrowdWork. Call how's everybody doing?
Speaker 1: It's everybody excited for the fall. It's the first Heil fall.
Speaker 1: The crowd word. Wow, I'm doing okay today. Thank you? Wow.
Speaker 1: And now please welcome Michael Harnet. Michael, Hello, Michael, Hello,
Speaker 1: Michael tweeted about his topic. He did not reveal it,
Speaker 1: but he gave a little preview. He said it's something
Speaker 1: that his boyfriend is doing and that he hates it. Well,
Speaker 1: here we go, let's burn this relationship bridge. This is
Speaker 1: Michael Hardy's I don't think someone, honey, it's time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. People who send me text
Speaker 1: messages consisting solely of the letter okay, are you trying
Speaker 1: to start world war? I am disinclined to think so,
Speaker 1: huntrees I deserve and oh ho. When I get a
Speaker 1: text that says okay, I read okay. When I get
Speaker 1: a text that says kay, I read you, Michael are
Speaker 1: a subhuman? Come stand? I'm deserving of love or and
Speaker 1: this will not stand, motherfucker? How long to take? How
Speaker 1: long to take? Oh? Oh? Just did it so many times?
Speaker 1: Is not the time saver you're claiming it to be,
Speaker 1: but rather in the furious microaggression designed to make me
Speaker 1: feel small chickens, look down, bitch, it's me. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: kick you in the fucking dick with my fucking flagellum.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Now everyone remains seated because
Speaker 1: there is going to be one more. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: And I just texted him that he's doing this because
Speaker 1: we had to drop out. There is room for one more.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. And in this common courtesy
Speaker 1: of HB Day, Hot Producer job jealous. Wow, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited because you've been he sits with us every day
Speaker 1: while we record, and the bitches moving to l a student.
Speaker 1: I'm so fucking devastated. But we have this platform. I
Speaker 1: know he's got. I don't think Tony Lockton loaded. And
Speaker 1: it is time for Joe Staley. Don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Is it pre selected of the trollball? Oh, it's pected
Speaker 1: and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: People who look at me and say your HPJ sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm not Alex everybody, so people know it's head. No,
Speaker 1: it's funny. I'm fine, I'm fine. But we all try
Speaker 1: so hard, don't we, you know. And these fellows my
Speaker 1: some of my best friends Matt and Bowen were nice
Speaker 1: enough essentially to give me the funny Moniker Hot Producer Joe.
Speaker 1: It's funny, it's nice, it's in the world of the show.
Speaker 1: And then I go to fucking l A where apparently, yes,
Speaker 1: spill the beans. I'm moving and everyone goes your HP
Speaker 1: J trying we do our best. I'm too busy producing
Speaker 1: loss cultures us to go to the fucking fitness Petter
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry. I'm doing my God damn guys. It's funny.
Speaker 1: I feel fine. I'm my beautiful girlfriends here. It's all
Speaker 1: fine seconds funny, It's funny, funny. I love Matt, I
Speaker 1: love Bowen. This is very sweet. Thank you very much,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming, thank you for listening all right,
Speaker 1: thank you for the challenge. Subscriberate and review and tell
Speaker 1: other people at your HP, your HP, your HP okay, HBC,
Speaker 1: h P d HBoL. I'm doing my best and I
Speaker 1: don't think so. And thirty second that's HP Joe Wow.
Speaker 1: Thank you to this group, Jack Twist, Jack Nasty and
Speaker 1: my goal. Wow. We are running thirty minutes over time,
Speaker 1: so we are going to lead you right. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much of the Brooklyn comedy Baptival. We love you.
Speaker 1: How My name is Matt Roja. Give it up for
Speaker 1: all your farmas and I have a great night. By
Speaker 1: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 1: Brett Bohum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 1: please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to
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