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Speaker 1: Still weld understand? Would you your billion pieces?

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Speaker 2: Would you?

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Speaker 3: Hello, ban animals, Welcome to the minisode. How you doing, Scottie.

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Speaker 2: I'm good, man, I'm a I'm good. The smoke is

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Speaker 2: finally blown away. I can see the view out my

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Speaker 2: back window again and not just uh like a thick

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Speaker 2: London fog that I know is tox secretly taking five

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Speaker 2: years off my life. Yeah, no kidding, man, I'm good, Bud,

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Speaker 2: how are you good?

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Speaker 3: But that hold the smoke, just this, the fire wildfire

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Speaker 3: smoke just made me like why did I quit smoke? Why?

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Speaker 3: Just so angry? But it does finally feel here.

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Speaker 2: Yeahdelus.

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Speaker 3: It's finally fall, which is so nice. Nice twentieth it's

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Speaker 3: just become fall. Seventy gree days.

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Speaker 2: I'm low. You know this, Kurt? What I isolate? Hard?

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Speaker 2: I stay in, I don't go out. I thank god,

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Speaker 2: I'm a writer. I do it. But I've slowly been

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Speaker 2: taking walks in the neighborhood or hikes in Allegiant Park,

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Speaker 2: and I decided just sometimes things just click in your

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Speaker 2: brain and you're like, I'm gonna do that now. And

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Speaker 2: sometimes people buy a a Bonzi tree. Sometimes people take

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Speaker 2: a cooking lesson I just decided I'm going to go

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Speaker 2: to the West Side and just take long beach walks

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Speaker 2: by myself.

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Speaker 3: That's great, that's the best.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go park and I'm gonna walk for forty

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Speaker 2: five minutes along the surf, and I'm gonna turn around

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Speaker 2: and walk forty five minutes back.

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Speaker 3: It will change It'll change your day.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to join me for a socially distant one?

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Speaker 2: I love that idea.

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Speaker 3: We should record We should record one while walking along

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Speaker 3: the sande Yeah.

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Speaker 2: We you and I just in life, not even for

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Speaker 2: this silly podcast. We need to get those Garth Brooks

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Speaker 2: microphones with the headset with the little mic you know

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Speaker 2: that you can just wear, and then we can wear

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Speaker 2: these little zoom recorders on our hips on our board

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Speaker 2: shorts walking. Let's do a walking podcast from Santa Monica

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Speaker 2: to Venice.

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Speaker 3: I love it. I'm in so as you guys know, minisodes.

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Speaker 3: These minisodes are all your stories, your bananamal stories.

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Speaker 2: Scott. Do you want to go first? Sure? And thanks

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Speaker 2: for sending me in keep dming them to the Bananas Podcast.

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Speaker 2: You can email them to the Bananas Podcast at gmail

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Speaker 2: dot com and or I've been getting a lot of

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Speaker 2: good ones called in on the Banana's phone. Feel free

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Speaker 2: to call me. We can scan it and I'll tell you.

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Speaker 2: I'll be like, hey, that's great. Do you mind sending

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Speaker 2: it to me in a parographer? Two? And thank you

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Speaker 2: to everyone who did. Kurt and I are doing at

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Speaker 2: least a dozen more of these this year, so we'll

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Speaker 2: get to you. Thanks for sending it in. This one

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Speaker 2: came in from Paul Anthony texted it to me on

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Speaker 2: the Bananas phone two one three two one four seven

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Speaker 2: nine seven four. Here's a story for you. I think

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Speaker 2: it would take more than a minute to tell, so

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Speaker 2: I'm going to write it. In two thousand and four,

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Speaker 2: I went on tour with a band called The Uprising.

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Speaker 2: We existed for that one tour only two guys, wrote

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Speaker 2: and recorded a little demo. We flew from New York

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Speaker 2: to Florida, learned the songs and day and hit the road.

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Speaker 2: On the way to the second tour date, we stayed

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Speaker 2: at a rest stop on the Bridgeway, which is for

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Speaker 2: those who don't know, in Louisiana it's the elevated Oh

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Speaker 2: excuse me, this is in Florida. It's the Elevated Highway.

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Speaker 2: Between swamps and the bayou. A nice attendant at the

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Speaker 2: stop told us where we could pitch a tent so

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Speaker 2: trucks didn't accidentally run over us. He sounded, he sounded,

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Speaker 2: and I kid you, not exactly like the farmer dude

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Speaker 2: from the Water Boys, so I guess that shit isn't

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Speaker 2: made up. He woke us up at the crack of

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Speaker 2: dawn before his shifting ended because the next guy would

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Speaker 2: be coming in and would be very pissed to see

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Speaker 2: a tent. As I came out of the tent, to

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Speaker 2: my left, one hundred yards away, two guys were wrestling

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Speaker 2: a fucking alligator. I've never packed up a tent so

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Speaker 2: fast in my life. That's not the end of the story, Kurt.

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Speaker 2: After that, we met up with another band I was

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Speaker 2: friends with from New York called Insult Insult to Tradition.

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Speaker 2: I think they were a kind of ska band. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: we play Lafayette, Louisiana in this dirt club. They let

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Speaker 2: us drink for free. He says in parentheses. I turned

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Speaker 2: eighteen at the end of the tour, so that's exciting

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Speaker 2: to be seventeen and drinking in a band. That's that's

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Speaker 2: pretty cool. Paul Anthony, you're killing it. He's a bass player,

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Speaker 2: so that was cool. The singer from the other band

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Speaker 2: met this young lady named Billy Jean. They made out

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Speaker 2: for a bit and then our bands went had to

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Speaker 2: play while loading up the van. After playing, Billy Jean

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Speaker 2: popped out of nowhere and slipped a finger right into

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Speaker 2: our drummer's butt. He got to the hole and yelped

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Speaker 2: and was freaked the fuck out. A few minutes later,

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Speaker 2: I'm talking to the guy she made out with earlier.

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Speaker 2: She comes up from behind him and says, quote, You're

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Speaker 2: never gonna forget Billy Jean, and proceeded to bite his

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Speaker 2: neck so hard it got infected. The next day. The

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Speaker 2: next time I see him, years later, you could still

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Speaker 2: make out a little scar. So twenty or so minutes

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Speaker 2: go by and I see Billy Jean sitting on a

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Speaker 2: bench with a little person between her legs, standing between

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Speaker 2: her legs and making out. A few minutes later, they

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Speaker 2: get into his jeep and beat the horn so long

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Speaker 2: so everyone knows Billy Jean is gonna fuck this dude.

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Speaker 2: Wild Night Lafayette is otherwise a shit fucking houle. Paul Anthony,

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Speaker 2: Thank you Paul band on the Run. Baby, Oh man,

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Speaker 2: I love Billy Jean. She is not gonna be forgotten, dude,

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Speaker 2: I hope she is.

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Speaker 3: She's gonna be a live and kicking Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: There those barflies down there. Have you ever had like

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Speaker 2: a psycho like that after a show, or like somebody

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Speaker 2: follow you around like that? No? Not really.

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Speaker 3: I did do a show in Lafayette and I had

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Speaker 3: I had a blast. It was like a really great show.

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Speaker 3: Was it like a weird kind of sports bar, but

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Speaker 3: it was put on by like these comics who live

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Speaker 3: in Lafayette and like have a great crowd come out,

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Speaker 3: and it was like a really fun crowd of people

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Speaker 3: who had no idea who the fuck I was. And

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Speaker 3: it was a real treat, real treat.

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Speaker 2: I I've told you this story, Kurt. I'm gonna do

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Speaker 2: a very abridge version since this is a mean so

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Speaker 2: but maybe we'll do this in uh chap. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 2: spread this story over a couple different episodes. So when

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Speaker 2: I was living in Pensacola, I lived with a girl

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Speaker 2: named Sally. My rent was two hundred and thirteen dollars

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Speaker 2: a month, and I was waiting tables and making about

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Speaker 2: two hundred dollars a night cash because it was the

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Speaker 2: beach crop. One morning, I wake up and Sally had

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Speaker 2: her friends over for the first time. She were same age,

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Speaker 2: twenty ish something like that. I was probably nineteen, and

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Speaker 2: there was only one dude. It was all women playing

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Speaker 2: beer pong in the garage. I was just thrilled that

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Speaker 2: she had a social life. And there was a guy

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Speaker 2: named Chet, and Chet was like a big guy who's

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Speaker 2: probably twenty two or twenty three from the area.

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Speaker 3: There's no little Chets, I'm gonna tell you right now,

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Speaker 3: there's no little chats.

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Speaker 2: And so the women are largely ignoring me, and I'm

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Speaker 2: just cracking some jokes and drinking beers with these guys,

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Speaker 2: and it was actually pretty fun. It was the first

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Speaker 2: time I'd socialized with my roommate. And Chet's laughing at

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Speaker 2: everything I'm saying. He thinks I'm the funniest and he's like,

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Speaker 2: do you want to go the beach? And I was like, sure,

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Speaker 2: And the beach is really close, and so all of us,

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Speaker 2: the whole entrage goes to the beach. At the beach,

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Speaker 2: the women are kind of like doing their own thing,

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Speaker 2: and Chet's like, you're so funny, dude, do you want

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Speaker 2: to go drink beer? And I'm like, I'm only nineteen man,

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Speaker 2: and he goes, oh, I know every bouncer and bartender here.

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Speaker 2: He's like, we're good, dude. So we go to three

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Speaker 2: bars and they don't let me in because I don't

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Speaker 2: have ID. They weren't assholes, they were just like, nah, dude,

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Speaker 2: you got to show us something. And I didn't have it.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even have that one that you've seen before.

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Speaker 2: So he goes, I know a place. So we drive

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Speaker 2: to Alabama in Pensacola and Flora, Obama. It's pretty close.

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Speaker 2: It's probably like we probably drove for forty five minutes.

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Speaker 2: I'll leave out a bunch of details I'll tell in

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Speaker 2: a different version of the story. But we finally get

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Speaker 2: at sundown to a swamp bar, a bar built over

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Speaker 2: a swamp. Wow. We go down a dirt road to

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Speaker 2: get there. It looks out of a like it looks

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Speaker 2: like out of a music video for like John Fogerty

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Speaker 2: or something. So we go in and I'm wearing bright

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Speaker 2: floral blue board shorts. I'm nineteen and skinny, and so

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Speaker 2: I have like a small T shirt on. I've never

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Speaker 2: been to Alabama and it is low culls only crazy.

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Speaker 2: I walk up to the bar and I order a

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Speaker 2: rum and coke. I don't know why. Chets like, go

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Speaker 2: get a drinks. He gives me the money, he goes

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Speaker 2: to the bathroom. I get it. I go to drink,

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Speaker 2: and the guy sitting next to me, this Alabama, I mean,

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Speaker 2: just bottled nose like orangery redneck forty years old, reaches

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Speaker 2: over pulls the straw out of my drink before I'm

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Speaker 2: allowed to drink. And I'm just trying to be cool

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Speaker 2: and blend in. And I know I don't have an

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Speaker 2: id like. It was intense, all eyes on me. I go, uh,

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Speaker 2: what'd you do that for? And he goes, now, man,

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Speaker 2: I ever knew you drink out of a straw? And

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Speaker 2: I go, why is that? He goes, you might as

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Speaker 2: well put a big old dick in your mouth. So

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Speaker 2: I go, oh, I didn't know. I get a picture

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Speaker 2: that Chet wanted. I take my drink, I walk away,

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Speaker 2: and I just sit down and Chet's like, hey, let's

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Speaker 2: play pool. Let's shoot some pool. So you know, the

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Speaker 2: thing about bars that you feel uncomfortable in is after

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Speaker 2: a minute, people stop looking at you, You're like, everybody

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Speaker 2: just goes back to their drink or the game or

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Speaker 2: flirting with the bartend or whatever they're doing. So we're

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Speaker 2: shooting pool and it's quiet, and Chet's like, go put

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Speaker 2: some music on, and he and I go okay. So

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Speaker 2: I go to the jukebox, and as soon as I

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Speaker 2: get to the jukebox, I feel somebody approached me. And

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Speaker 2: this woman she wasn't Billy Jean, but she was a

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Speaker 2: version in like Daisy Dukes and this black tank top,

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Speaker 2: just looking back, missing teeth, not looking healthy, you know,

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Speaker 2: like long smokers. You know when people smoke really long

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Speaker 2: and they have those like crevasses in their face.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're always more than hundreds.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and the wrinkles go deep, like you feel like

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Speaker 2: they would drain water. She goes, hey, boy, and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 2: how are you? And I put in Doobie brother There's

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Speaker 2: Blackwater because I'm like this feels like a safe choice.

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Speaker 2: She goes Dbie Brothers. You go, boy, and I go okay.

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Speaker 2: I was like, you like to Doobie Brothers. She goes,

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Speaker 2: oh yeah, I love Blackwater, and music starts and everybody's

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Speaker 2: like fine with it, and then she goes, what are

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Speaker 2: you two doing here? And I'm like, oh, I'm just

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Speaker 2: shooting pool with my friend Chet, and she goes, fifteen dollars,

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Speaker 2: I'll suck your dick.

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Speaker 3: So so I'm like fifteen dollars.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So the guy at the bar taking my straw

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Speaker 2: out is accusing me of wanting to suck a dick,

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Speaker 2: and then I go and this woman is offering to

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Speaker 2: go down on me, and I go, I'm good. She goes,

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Speaker 2: we can go around back for twenty dollars. You can

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Speaker 2: be the king of this castle. So I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm good. I didn't have a girlfriend at time, but

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Speaker 2: I'm like, i'm dating somebody. I'm just gonna hang with

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Speaker 2: my friend. So I go back over and Chet's like

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Speaker 2: what was that about? And I'm like, she just propositioned

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Speaker 2: me to go out back. He's like, there's an out back.

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Speaker 2: So we go out back and it's rickety boards over

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Speaker 2: a Alabama Gator swamp. I mean, if whatever she wanted

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Speaker 2: to do out there, I would have probably gotten tetanus

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Speaker 2: and lost a foot and then gotten every std known

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Speaker 2: the man. And I'll end it there. But it went

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Speaker 2: on for two more out It was crazy. I love it.

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Speaker 3: Also that you don't know Chet, that Chet's someone else.

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Speaker 2: Never saw him again? You never saw him again. That'll

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Speaker 2: be part three of the Chet saga magic chat. First

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Speaker 2: time propositioned, first time, I don't know, And you know,

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Speaker 2: I didn't drink out of a straw for like twenty years,

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Speaker 2: not at all, because I was afraid of I don't

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Speaker 2: know nothing, hopophobic. It was out of just that moment.

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Speaker 2: It was so insanely bold and I'll never forget his

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Speaker 2: voice that I was like, you know what, cheers to

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Speaker 2: this crazy guy for not shooting me when I was

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Speaker 2: walking out of this book. Awful, awful?

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Speaker 3: All right, you ready for a story?

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Speaker 2: Hit me buddy.

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Speaker 3: This is coming in from Kemper slash junk yarn cool,

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Speaker 3: the user name at raybot on Instagram and closed a

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Speaker 3: story about head panties.

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Speaker 2: Hi bananimals.

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Speaker 3: I've been listening since the first episode, and bananas has

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Speaker 3: definitely made this pandemic more bearable for yours truly. AnyWho,

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Speaker 3: after listening to the episode with the pepper ashes, I

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Speaker 3: knew I had to send in my grandma story. As

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Speaker 3: long as I can remember, my grandma wore a pair

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Speaker 3: of very large beige pink undies to bed on her head.

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Speaker 3: She put them on so that her eyes and nose

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Speaker 3: were inside the underwear and her thin gray hair was

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Speaker 3: sticking out through the legholes with just her mouth visible.

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Speaker 3: When I asked my mom why Grandma did this, she

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Speaker 3: said more than once, Oh, those are just head panties.

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Speaker 3: If that explained things. Yeah, Long after my grandma was gone,

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Speaker 3: I asked what the head panties were actually for and

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Speaker 3: why my mom never wanted to explain it. She said

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Speaker 3: my grandma had sinus issues and liked to quote keep

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Speaker 3: her forehead warm. But oh, I still think I'm only

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Speaker 3: getting part of the head panties story. To this day,

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure what happened to said panties after her death,

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Speaker 3: but I wish now that I'd asked to have them,

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Speaker 3: if only to freak out my very prim and proper

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Speaker 3: Southern family. One of my favorite memories of my otherwise

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Speaker 3: grantastic grandma is of sleeping on her couch and waking

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Speaker 3: up to her eating a handful of oreos in the

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Speaker 3: kitchen with her head panties pulled up so she could see.

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Speaker 3: Hope this story at least makes you chuckle. Stay safe,

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Speaker 3: and stay weird kemper from Raleigh, North Carolina. Wow, that's

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Speaker 3: a great story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh I've never heard of that. I've never heard

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Speaker 2: of that.

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Speaker 3: I've never heard of head panties. This is a this

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Speaker 3: is very very unique, my.

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Speaker 2: Goodness, a weird one.

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Speaker 3: I do remember when I was a kid, probably twelve,

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Speaker 3: like I just I it was that age of being

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Speaker 3: a child where you don't like you know, and this

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Speaker 3: is maybe doesn't even exist anymore because kids have the Internet.

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Speaker 3: But like you knew sex was something, but yeah, didn't

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Speaker 3: know what it was. You just knew that you like

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Speaker 3: felt crazy when you saw like a certain commercial or something, right, Yeah, sure,

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Speaker 3: And I remember doing this. I so I had a

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Speaker 3: poster of myself normal.

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Speaker 2: It was a photograph of normal.

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Speaker 3: It was from Great Adventure. So it was like a

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Speaker 3: dog matrix printed out photograph and it said wanted dead

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Speaker 3: or alive and then it was a picture of my

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Speaker 3: like five year old head.

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Speaker 2: Uhh.

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Speaker 3: And so you know it was like a you know

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Speaker 3: thing from six Flags Great Adventures. And so that was

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Speaker 3: on the wall and then if you lift did that

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Speaker 3: up underneath the poster. I had gone into Sears catalogs

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Speaker 3: uh huh. Like any catalog I can find and just

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Speaker 3: cut just the breasts.

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Speaker 2: Out, oh you were focused serial killer, just the like underwell,

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Speaker 2: like underwear models.

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Speaker 3: So it's just just the breasts cut out of underwear

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Speaker 3: models and then taped up, just just randomly. And then

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Speaker 3: I found like my uncle's playboys, and then cut again

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Speaker 3: just the breasts out and tape them to the wall

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Speaker 3: underneath this poster. And then I would charge children in

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Speaker 3: the neighborhood a quarter to stap at sea of disembodied breasts.

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Speaker 3: There was a peace show early on. The breasts without

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Speaker 3: women is super fucking disturbing.

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Speaker 2: It's so upsetting.

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Speaker 3: They're completely without context. It makes no sense. It is

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Speaker 3: like the It is the epitome of what is wrong

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Speaker 3: with like the twelve year old American boy mind do

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Speaker 3: you know?

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Speaker 2: Oh my yeah, I do. You had a local peep show.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's mostly underwear bottles. Is so if I saw,

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Speaker 3: I am so happy. My mom never found that because

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Speaker 3: if she did, she would be like, he's he's psychotic.

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Speaker 3: I need to put him into an institution.

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Speaker 2: If I found that.

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Speaker 3: It's just so upsetting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, you're a parent now, so it is

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Speaker 2: like a little different. I mean, you'll be understanding. The

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Speaker 2: cool thing is you and Lauren are gonna be so

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Speaker 2: understanding about so many things because you've lived such interesting lives,

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Speaker 2: Like it'll be a more of a challenge for you

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Speaker 2: guys to be like, this is what normal people do,

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Speaker 2: and this is the line and the sand we're drawing

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 3: That's what we already had an argument like this Lauren

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Speaker 3: and I because I think I'm probably between the two

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Speaker 3: of us, I'm kind of on the weirder side than

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Speaker 3: Lauren is. And sure, Olive was calling her. She was referenced,

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Speaker 3: you know, we talk about her vagina so that she

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00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,920
Speaker 3: has to clean her vagina. But I was that's not proper,

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00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 3: Like it should be her vulva, you know, so she

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00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 3: should talk about like I have to wipe my volva

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00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,720
Speaker 3: after going to the bathroom, because that's technically biologically what

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00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 3: that is. Yes, And so I had her calling it

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Speaker 3: her vulva and Lauren was like, you can't do that.

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00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:22,120
Speaker 3: She's gonna say vulva to somebody and then people are

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Speaker 3: no one's gonna know what. They're gonna be like, that's

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00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,919
Speaker 3: a vagina, and then she's like, no, it's a vulvan.

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Speaker 3: I'll be like she would be right, and Lauren's like,

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Speaker 3: it doesn't matter if she's right, it's just everybody calls

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Speaker 3: it a vagina.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you listened to your wife on this one the time.

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Speaker 2: Let the wife decides this decision.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, but she's right. She's like, she'd just

351
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Speaker 3: be a weirdo.

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Speaker 2: Who's right.

353
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Speaker 3: I'm like, that's better.

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Speaker 2: She's like that, well, yeah, you'd give her a permanent

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00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 2: nickname for the rest of her life. That's for sure. Like,

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Speaker 2: oh god, you didn't invite volva, did you. Uh? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: those I saw. I'm team Lauren on this one. But also,

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Speaker 2: I know what you're saying, that's really so funny, because

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00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 2: oh boy, yeah, it's gonna be fun. I mean, it's

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Speaker 2: got to be the most fun part about being a

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00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 2: parent is just seeing that the kids are a cocktail

362
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Speaker 2: of you, of two people and the environment, and it's

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00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 2: gotta be fun. It's gotta be cool.

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00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 3: Oh it's totally cool. Yeah, it's really. It's the best.

365
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 3: That's the best thing I've ever done.

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Speaker 2: I remember having one of those. It's like that pang.

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Speaker 2: It's like, like you said, like the Internet and stuff

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00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 2: like that, and just phones, just kids being able to

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Speaker 2: share stuff. It's I'm sure it's very challenging. But you

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Speaker 2: know back in the day when we just had to

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Speaker 2: feel and urge that we didn't understand and not know

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Speaker 2: what to do. And you know, you and I went

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Speaker 2: to Catholic school, and it's like we had to do

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Speaker 2: family life. And by the time I was in sixth grade,

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00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 2: which and for those who don't know, family life is

376
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,919
Speaker 2: sort of like their way to teach you the birds

377
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,199
Speaker 2: and the bees, and but it's all like, hey, you

378
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 2: fall in love, you get married, as many kids as

379
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,160
Speaker 2: you can, have eight kids, Please have as many kids

380
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Speaker 2: as possible. You're Catholic, we need you. But I was

381
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 2: at remember when like your parents would take you and

382
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:07,680
Speaker 2: a friend. Your mom would take you and a friend

383
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 2: to the mall and you would just walk around and

384
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,719
Speaker 2: she would go shopping. Mom goes to J. C. Penny.

385
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 2: You go to the surf shop, or the candy store,

386
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 2: the you know, food court, the arcade if you're lucky.

387
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Speaker 2: And I was with my buddy Steve, and it was

388
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 2: around Christmas and my parents were both there and they're

389
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,400
Speaker 2: both doing Christmas shopping and I went into a Walden Books.

390
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 2: It was the only book store in the Owings Mills Mall,

391
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Speaker 2: which I think is gone. I think the era of

392
00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 2: the mall is gone. I think Owings Mills went with it.

393
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 2: And I saw some adult had and the magazine rack

394
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 2: had put the Anna Nicole Smith that year pictorial. It

395
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,200
Speaker 2: was all it was only her. It wasn't a regular Playboy.

396
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 2: It was like here's your Christmas. It's like get this

397
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 2: for your horny husband this Christmas or yeah, you know.

398
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 2: It was weird. It was at I height, eye level,

399
00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,040
Speaker 2: and I like looked at the cover and was so

400
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 2: overcome with like like, well that's what I like. I

401
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 2: you and for those who don't know, ter Cole Smith

402
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 2: rip just the curviest blonde American bombshell type of that era.

403
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 2: And I stole that. I stole that Playboy. It's one

404
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 2: of the only things I've ever stolen.

405
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 3: Did you put it up your shirt?

406
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:22,159
Speaker 1: Oh?

407
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 2: I did it? Like I do everything with a plan

408
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 2: executed slowly over two hours. I first was I indicated

409
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 2: to Steve that I holy shit. Then I moved it

410
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 2: to the photography section of the bookstore, between National g

411
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 2: NO to NASA geographic books to coffee table books. So

412
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 2: it's somewhere else it's towards the back. Then I leave.

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00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,399
Speaker 2: Then I come back in, you know, half an hour later,

414
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 2: hour later, you know, normal ten or eleven or twelve

415
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 2: year old thing to do. And I just peruse and

416
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 2: it's busy. Thank god. When people used to go to

417
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 2: bookstores before Amazon killed them all, it was kind of fun.

418
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 2: People bought books. And so then I just I cased it.

419
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: I looked for cameras, I looked for security. You know,

420
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 2: I was really on edge, but I had to have

421
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 2: this bacaze. And then I came back about an hour

422
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 2: after that, after checking with the parents, and they're like, okay,

423
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 2: we're going to leave me to imagine aium at you know,

424
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 2: eight thirty. And I rolled it and I stuffed it

425
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: down my left jean leg of right against my hip

426
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 2: and pulled my belt tight so it would hold. It

427
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:32,880
Speaker 2: was one of those belts that were so poppular back

428
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 2: then that was just like weaved woven leather. Just yanked

429
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 2: it and then walked out, just walked straight out, and

430
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 2: I remember like heart racing, my friend looking behind us

431
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 2: to see if he's like, nobody's coming, nobody's coming. Got home,

432
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 2: looked at it. We both looked at it, and then

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00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 2: I got so nervous that I was gonna get caught

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00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 2: with it, like a week later after school, like I

435
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 2: had like, oh my god, somebody's gonna find this. I

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00:22:56,160 --> 00:23:00,440
Speaker 2: threw it down a storm drain. That's Claire. Yeah, that's

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00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 2: how they get there. Yeah, nervous eleven year olds. I

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00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 2: was like, Mom and Dad won't find it. Here walk

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00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 2: There was one, thankfully, just at the end of our property,

440
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 2: and I was like, nope.

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00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 3: Here you go, clown from it in jail.

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00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 2: Yeahywise, we're pulling for you.

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00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 3: Well, that's it.

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00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 2: We made it, Scottie.

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00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 3: We made another minisode.

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00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 2: It's good talking to you brother. I'm so glad I

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00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 2: get to see you once or twice a week.

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00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: On Zoom Zoom.

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00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,400
Speaker 2: Thank you Bananimals, Thank you Bananimals. Bananas.

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00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.

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00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 2: Produced and engineered by Katie.

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00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 3: Levine, theme song by Keihanamani, and all.

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00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 2: Of our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

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00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 3: So please follow us on Instagram at The Bananas Podcast,

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00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 3: where we post so many more stories and make it here.

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00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 2: And you can share with us your strange news story

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00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 2: by d ming us on Instagram at the Bananas podcast.

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00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 3: So listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on

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00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 3: Apple podcast Stitch or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: Bananas, bananas,