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Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer past year's Nicky. Yeah here I am coming

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Speaker 1: in hot. Hi, guys, it's Nicky. It's a Nicki Glazer podcast. Welcome.

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Speaker 1: Hey no, uh hi, Oh my god, one of those

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Speaker 1: mornings where you open your eyes and you go today

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Speaker 1: is gonna be a doozy And I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: shut my eyes tonight. No, I can't wait. What time

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Speaker 1: tonight is gonna feel good? Oh? No times? Because oh no,

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Speaker 1: that's not true. I like, I ate. So today is

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Speaker 1: just like a busy day. Right after this, I have

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Speaker 1: um a fitting for the MTV Movie and TV Awards Unscripted,

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Speaker 1: which is on Monday night. Um, set your DVRs um.

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Speaker 1: And then right after that, I get into hair and

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Speaker 1: makeup for Fallon. Uh my ladies are coming over here

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Speaker 1: to do that. And uh, I'm a little disappointed though,

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Speaker 1: because I just saw the all the commercial, like the

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Speaker 1: promo shots for that, for the stuff that I shot

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Speaker 1: last Thursday, I think, and a full day of just shooting,

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Speaker 1: and I look like a hot mess, like my hair

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Speaker 1: is crazy and my makeup is not good. And I

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Speaker 1: was just saw the footage yesterday and I was just like, God,

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Speaker 1: I look like I'm playing a character that's like on

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Speaker 1: a reality show that's like drunk, and like I looked

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Speaker 1: like I was playing a character like my It was

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Speaker 1: just a bad It's just a bad look and um,

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Speaker 1: and the question to myself first was like how did

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Speaker 1: I not see this? But the thing is when you

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Speaker 1: when you're in a makeup room and everything it looks great,

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Speaker 1: and then you get it and the lights are all

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Speaker 1: different when you get out there, and the camera angle

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Speaker 1: is different than the angle you were looking at yourself

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Speaker 1: in the mirror, and so you see this version of

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Speaker 1: yourself when and and then you're supposed it's just too

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Speaker 1: I can't manage everything. I can't because then you go

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Speaker 1: you're sitting there and I should have asked the camera guy,

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Speaker 1: can I see the shot? Which I did do, but

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Speaker 1: my eyes are bad for I can't sit and where

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Speaker 1: I'm sitting and then look eight feet away at a

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Speaker 1: little camera screen and see what it actually looks like

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Speaker 1: when you're would maybe watch it on your phone unless

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Speaker 1: someone takes a picture, but then pictures aren't the same

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Speaker 1: as videos, as someone as a videotape the camera screen,

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Speaker 1: so then show him in then it's just like I

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Speaker 1: just look terrible and it might be because of I

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Speaker 1: just want to blame someone other than myself, But the

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Speaker 1: truth is that I just didn't do my due diligence

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Speaker 1: to like I just expect people to be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you don't look good like or like hey, your hair,

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Speaker 1: we could do better, like with your hair. There's sometimes

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Speaker 1: when like you're on set and someone's like, um, like

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Speaker 1: everything shuts down and everyone comes out to like fix

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Speaker 1: whatever is going on with your hair or your makeup,

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Speaker 1: and it becomes like this issue where like everyone's like

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Speaker 1: it's her left hair. It's like the hair back there,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, oh no, that's just my hair, or

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Speaker 1: it's like, well you have a spot here and it's

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Speaker 1: like that's just my face. You know. Like there's sometimes

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Speaker 1: where you're like nothing can fix it. But then there's

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Speaker 1: other times where it's like, guys, I'm looking at this

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Speaker 1: and it I can't I can't believe. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: saw that. I saw the footage yesterday when we got

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Speaker 1: off of Zoom. You and I and I sent you

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Speaker 1: a screenshot. It's just like, that's not what I look like.

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Speaker 1: It looked like I was just it's just like it

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Speaker 1: was not a good look, and thank god it's you know,

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Speaker 1: the silver lining of this is I could be like, well,

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Speaker 1: now all these commercials that are going out, I look

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Speaker 1: terrible in and bo blah blah blah blah. But now

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, I could have looked that

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Speaker 1: way for the actual awards, but now I'm like, very,

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Speaker 1: very dead set and on fixing what happened. So I'm

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Speaker 1: grateful that I looked like shit for those and the

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Speaker 1: girl in did my hair and makeup did a great

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Speaker 1: job when I was looking in the mirror. But I

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Speaker 1: wrote my stylists, who do my who have I worked

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Speaker 1: with it for like almost ten years now, And they

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Speaker 1: flew in and they're like, you know, l a base,

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Speaker 1: They've worked in the industry, they work with models, like

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Speaker 1: they know, they know more than anyone what is cool,

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Speaker 1: what's pretty, what's like. I trust them explicitly. They're the

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Speaker 1: coolest girls I know, Danny and Emma. And I wrote

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Speaker 1: them yesterday, like after I saw the shoot and I

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Speaker 1: was like, guys, you, I know you didn't do my

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Speaker 1: hair and makeup, but and I know you don't insult

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Speaker 1: hair and makeup if if it seems like I'm happy,

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Speaker 1: but if you see me looking like this, you gotta

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Speaker 1: text me like, hey, we need to fix this, Like

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Speaker 1: you don't need to be rude and be like you

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Speaker 1: don't need to like say anything to my face, but

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Speaker 1: like I can't look like this ever again on camera.

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Speaker 1: And it's like I was just like, I mean, it

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Speaker 1: is my responsibilities. At what point do I go like,

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Speaker 1: I can't blame other people that I look bad. I

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Speaker 1: just like, but people who work with you on that capacity,

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Speaker 1: someone has to step up and say it. All their

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Speaker 1: job is to make me look at and look good

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Speaker 1: and look beautiful. It's I always know like if if

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Speaker 1: I have a true friendship or if someone truly respects me,

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Speaker 1: if I have something in my teeth, if they don't

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Speaker 1: point it out and they let me walk around like

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Speaker 1: that all day, they're not my real friend or they

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Speaker 1: don't really respect me. I always I just say it

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Speaker 1: like not only hey there's there's something in your teeth,

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Speaker 1: are like or I'm just like go like this, And

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Speaker 1: then it's like I would never want anyone that I

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Speaker 1: care about to walk around with schmutz on their face. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: You've always been really good about like, hey, well maybe

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Speaker 1: you want to do this, like you'll you'll like very

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Speaker 1: gently tell me like, so you have a little makeup there,

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Speaker 1: like the way my makeup runs underneath my eyes matter what,

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Speaker 1: like my transfers underneath. And by the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: I just look like you know, um, who's a girl

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Speaker 1: with They look like Alice Cooper by the end of

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Speaker 1: the day. And no, no boys ever tell me ever

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Speaker 1: a guy. Friends will never tell you of make up

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Speaker 1: all over your face. And then I'll go look at

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Speaker 1: me and I'm like, what the how could you think

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Speaker 1: this is how I want to look? Do you think

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Speaker 1: I know that I look like this? I don't um.

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Speaker 1: And Paris Hilton actually told me that she does a

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Speaker 1: test where she will wear like a disgusting outfit and

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Speaker 1: she's getting ready for friends and she'll like walk out

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Speaker 1: and be like, do you guys think this is cute?

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Speaker 1: The problem is Paris Helton looks cute and literally anything,

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Speaker 1: and so her friends will be like, yeah, that's hot,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, that's not a true friend, and she

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Speaker 1: like she tests them, and I just I don't even

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Speaker 1: need to do that because I just have so many

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Speaker 1: times where I go, how could you let me look

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Speaker 1: like this? I mean, it was the same reaction I

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Speaker 1: had this feels like the same way, which is the

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Speaker 1: very sad thing I used to feel. But I used

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Speaker 1: to be so mad at my parents for having sex

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Speaker 1: and making me because I'm so ugly. I used to

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Speaker 1: tell my mom, like, how could you let this happen?

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Speaker 1: Like you knew that there are some ugly people in

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Speaker 1: your family that could maybe get through in your in

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Speaker 1: your d n A. And you knew dad had some

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Speaker 1: ug gos and his history. Why would you two have

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Speaker 1: sex and like possibly make something so ugly as me

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Speaker 1: and my mom would go. I remember she would just

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Speaker 1: be washing the dishes and go, you're fucking crazy. That's

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Speaker 1: a crazy thing to say, and it's rude. Get out

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Speaker 1: of here. Like she would be so mad at me,

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Speaker 1: and I'd just be like, your responsibility, it's not my fault.

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Speaker 1: I'm ugly. You and dad had a Like it was

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Speaker 1: just so sad. So I kind of feel that same

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Speaker 1: way of like Nikki, don't blame others like you can.

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Speaker 1: I should just do my own makeup and then I

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Speaker 1: have only myself to blame. It's like when you ask

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Speaker 1: people to do a job and then they do it bad,

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Speaker 1: you just have a reason too. But really it's your

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Speaker 1: fault because you hired that person. You need to ask

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Speaker 1: for what you want, like just talking about this, like,

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Speaker 1: don't wait for people to give you what you want.

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Speaker 1: You have to ask, Like you can't assume. Like sometimes

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Speaker 1: people are like like if you order a restaurant and

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Speaker 1: you're like, um, and I want that salad with no

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Speaker 1: cheese because I'm vegan, And then the salad comes and

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Speaker 1: let's say it has chicken on it. It's like, well,

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Speaker 1: this person, you said vegan, but you didn't explicitly say

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Speaker 1: no chicken and cheese. You said no cheese. It's like,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't know there was chicken on it and

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Speaker 1: I said vegan. It's like people can't read your mind.

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Speaker 1: I recently disappointed someone in my life who's like very

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Speaker 1: angry with me because I let them down, and has

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Speaker 1: every right to feel that way based on how they're feeling,

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Speaker 1: because you feel how you feel, and I do feel

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Speaker 1: like I could have been better at communicating. But it's

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Speaker 1: also like I hate the thing when you disappoint someone

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Speaker 1: and they've been like watching you disappoint them over and

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Speaker 1: over and never said anything, like they've just been waiting

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Speaker 1: for you to disappoint them and they go, yes, you

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Speaker 1: disappointed me, as opposed to getting ahead of it and

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Speaker 1: being like hey, um and like waiting for you to

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Speaker 1: disappoint me, like is it are you going to or

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Speaker 1: like what's the deal you like you're saying yeah, or

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Speaker 1: giving you the tools to not disappoint them and leave

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Speaker 1: me by that mind, Like, for example, if you communicate

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Speaker 1: something to a friend or partner in a tone that

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Speaker 1: is not gentle enough, maybe they can let you know

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Speaker 1: that it's the tone that's bothering them, not what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, just just kind of giving guidelines. Last night,

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Speaker 1: Andrew and I got into the one of the biggest

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Speaker 1: fights of our friendship. It was so bad because the

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Speaker 1: meal is here and it really felt like he was

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Speaker 1: our son. It was like late at night we got

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Speaker 1: back from I was working at the comedy store till

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Speaker 1: late we got back here, and almost instantly we started fighting,

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Speaker 1: and it was he said the very same thing. He's like,

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Speaker 1: it's your tone, and that bothered me because I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's what I'm saying. Like you can say it's the tone,

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Speaker 1: but it's what I'm saying is triggering something and it's

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Speaker 1: making you get really defensive. Because if if you didn't,

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Speaker 1: if what I brought up wasn't a problem, which I

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Speaker 1: didn't think it was, and it wasn't something you wanted

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Speaker 1: to not talk about it, we wouldn't be exploding like this.

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Speaker 1: And then it turned into, well I wouldn't be exploding

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Speaker 1: like this if the thing that I brought up wasn't

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Speaker 1: so contentious for me too, and like what am I

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Speaker 1: bringing to it? So we fought, like we argued, like

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Speaker 1: did a Meal run into his room and slam the door?

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Speaker 1: Was literally sitting at the tape kitchen table with us,

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Speaker 1: and we were sitting like it's a ground kitchen table,

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Speaker 1: like a basic kitchen table. A meal is sitting on

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Speaker 1: one side, and we were across from each other just

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Speaker 1: and Emil's just sitting silently. And then we finally made up,

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Speaker 1: like we came full circle. But it took like a

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Speaker 1: half hour and then we were all laughing. But a

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Speaker 1: Meal was seriously like I gotta go to bed, like

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Speaker 1: and he's he always like stays up ladies, like I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be like it was, it's so uncomfortable, but

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Speaker 1: when I'm in it, I can't stop fighting. But that's

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Speaker 1: not how I want to be but then we got

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Speaker 1: to the end of it and now we're like better

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Speaker 1: friends than ever. And woke up this morning and we

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Speaker 1: like went through Oh we're gonna go through my Riya

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Speaker 1: on on air, like my Riya matches because I just

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Speaker 1: got a new batch. But we just said and I

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Speaker 1: had a great morning. We really are like a married

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Speaker 1: couple who just like fought all night, like had a

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Speaker 1: big fight, and our makeup sex is him getting me

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Speaker 1: advilled this morning when I had a headache and us

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Speaker 1: eating oatmeal in the pianist hair and the podcast. Hey Andrew,

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Speaker 1: I was just talking about you. I mean, we are

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Speaker 1: so much better this morning than last night. I was

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Speaker 1: just saying, we're such a married couple that like got

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Speaker 1: into one of the biggest fights of our relationship last

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Speaker 1: night in front of our son of meal, and then

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Speaker 1: we went to our sepron bedrooms. I made up before

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Speaker 1: we went to bed, though, so that was a good thing.

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Speaker 1: We didn't look a bit angry. At one point, I

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Speaker 1: go to a meal, I go, do you want to

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Speaker 1: say anything a meal? Because I'm staying out of this.

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Speaker 1: It was so bad, but it started because of you

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Speaker 1: sensed my tone and I was annoyed that you got

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Speaker 1: because we were just talking about like confronting stuff or

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Speaker 1: like getting into fights with people, because I was talking

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Speaker 1: about just like you know, and she was saying that,

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Speaker 1: like sometimes people's tone is what's the problem. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, and that really bugged. That was a hard

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Speaker 1: part of last night for me. Was like, it's your

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Speaker 1: tone and I'm like, well, I can't I don't know

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Speaker 1: what that means. And I think you're putting tone on

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Speaker 1: it because you like, the way we hear things has

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Speaker 1: a tone, do you know what I mean? Like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: the way our brain and the what we're coming to

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Speaker 1: the subject that the person is bringing up, although their

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Speaker 1: tone has a part to play, and I did have

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Speaker 1: a tone, like you also heard a tone. You're putting

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Speaker 1: stuff on it because of the And then then that's

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Speaker 1: when we were able to break through because you were like,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I think you're putting stuff on this because

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Speaker 1: you're coming, you're insecure, you're feeling weird about this. And

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Speaker 1: then you're like, I think you're feeling weird about and

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, you're right actually, and we both

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Speaker 1: realized we were bringing other ship to it that was

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Speaker 1: based on fear. Yeah, of course, I mean, look, all

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Speaker 1: of our issues with each other come from honestly. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we really are good at it. I was

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Speaker 1: way better at it than I've ever imagined, Like my

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Speaker 1: parents did it for years. I guess I picked up

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Speaker 1: some stuff like subconsciously or through os mosis. They say

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Speaker 1: we never got screaming, but it was. It was closed.

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Speaker 1: It was very stern talking, but it was. It was um,

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Speaker 1: I think it was very healthy. I went to sleep.

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Speaker 1: There was part of me where like I thought, you

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Speaker 1: know what real good duo has, like Shock and Kobe,

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Speaker 1: they would go at it. You know, we're like every

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Speaker 1: good dude to get the best out of each other

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Speaker 1: and go at it. But I've never been that kind

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Speaker 1: of person. If anything, I've been a person that if

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Speaker 1: that was the case, I would have went to my

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Speaker 1: room angry and I would have resented you for a

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Speaker 1: long time. It happened because you did that the past

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Speaker 1: three times that I've brought up the thing that finally

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Speaker 1: led to the mountain vesuvia is happening because that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: It's like, You're like, but it's not the first time

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Speaker 1: you said it. I go, well, this is the first

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Speaker 1: time of hearing that you're upset that I said it,

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Speaker 1: and that was part of it too. But now, but

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Speaker 1: here's the thing, if it doesn't, because if I don't

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Speaker 1: mention anything the first time, maybe I'm thinking, oh, it

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Speaker 1: won't happen. Yes, I get that. I don't mean to

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Speaker 1: use that as an excuse like don't be pussy, speak up.

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Speaker 1: It's like it does like lead to that, like the

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Speaker 1: first you could just you know, yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 1: can do a lot better. But I went to bed

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Speaker 1: being like feeling pretty good. Yeah I did too, And

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Speaker 1: I think we're always better. I mean, look, once a month,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna go at it. We're gonna put on the

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Speaker 1: gloves and we're gonna knock each other around a little bit,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna be better for it. And I and

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Speaker 1: I love it and I only want the best for you.

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Speaker 1: And I really do feel like you want the best

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Speaker 1: for me. Ever, feel like you could say something to

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Speaker 1: me and I'd be like, fuck you get out of

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Speaker 1: my life. Is there a part of you that things

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Speaker 1: you don't do that? It's so funny because last night

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Speaker 1: I was like, I wonder if he thinks like there's

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Speaker 1: anything you could say to me during a fight that

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Speaker 1: would make me go like we're done. And the truth is,

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Speaker 1: I don't think you're capable of saying the type of thing,

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Speaker 1: and if you did, I would just be like to

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Speaker 1: say that I kid you so heartless, really angry. Someone

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Speaker 1: else called me like people are really good on things

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Speaker 1: that we do that aren't good. Well, sometimes we are

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Speaker 1: good and last night I kind of got you for

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Speaker 1: being I wanted to the ultimate. You can't argue against

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Speaker 1: the thing. It's like in high school, me and my friends,

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Speaker 1: if my friends are listening for my school girls, think

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Speaker 1: of how much we like got We would cut guys

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Speaker 1: that we wanted that like just were like I felt

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Speaker 1: safe around us, and we go you're being cut and

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Speaker 1: they'd be like what does that even mean? And it

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Speaker 1: would they would hate it so much to be like

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Speaker 1: can I be on? Can I always? Or it's it's

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Speaker 1: like we're like, you're pretty much always gonna be You're

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Speaker 1: just and they'd be like, no, I'm not, I don't

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Speaker 1: even know what it means. We would torture guys with it.

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Speaker 1: And so last night, couldn't you felt like I wanted

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Speaker 1: to kill you? I wanted to kill you? Yeah, um

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Speaker 1: yeah no. But to back to that thing is like

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Speaker 1: I literally had a moment in my head where I go,

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Speaker 1: I go, she's gonna tomorrow morning, or like at some

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Speaker 1: point in our relationship, you're gonna go, Look, we had

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Speaker 1: a I just I don't think that you're right for

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Speaker 1: the show anymore. And I don't think you're right for

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Speaker 1: my life. I think whatever, And I was gonna go

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Speaker 1: in my head, I go, you know, we had a

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Speaker 1: good run, Nick, and I'm still gonna be okay, And

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Speaker 1: like I played this whole thing. It's just like not

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Speaker 1: gonna happen. I know that maybe you need that to happen. No, No,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't please though, But I liked our

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Speaker 1: fight last night because it felt equal. I didn't feel

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Speaker 1: like I was like, know, you respect when people stand

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Speaker 1: up for themselves and I rarely do it, and I

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Speaker 1: think I did it. Yeah, I do it all the

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Speaker 1: time because I always think I'm right whether you stand

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Speaker 1: up for yourself or not, Like it's not going to change,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of times I do admit I'm wrong

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Speaker 1: once you have a good point. But you're you're a

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Speaker 1: master at debate, You're a master at observation, You're a

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Speaker 1: master at all these things so you got I'm pretty good,

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Speaker 1: I guess, but I'm nowhere near your level of But

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's a compliment being a master

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Speaker 1: of debate and of observation and being able to go

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Speaker 1: I know what you're thinking when you're doing this thing.

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Speaker 1: It's a little shady thing that you did. It's exhausted.

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Speaker 1: It's your brain exhausted. Um egg, fashion egg or something. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry every time we so, I love doing Taylor Swift,

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Speaker 1: like Taylor Swift does Easter eggs for her fans, where

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Speaker 1: it's like she has a little clues and thinks she

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Speaker 1: says that like later you find out, oh, it was

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Speaker 1: the date of the album release. And An never knows

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Speaker 1: what to say when I do them, because sometimes I

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Speaker 1: do little ones and fashion eggs. I mean, I kind

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Speaker 1: of send it to be funny, but then I also

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Speaker 1: didn't know the word because the first thing you think

359
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Speaker 1: is funniest. I learned that from Leslie Jones. I ran

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Speaker 1: into Leslie Jones at the comedy store. She's doing the

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Speaker 1: She's doing the MTV Movie and TV Awards Not Unscripted

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Speaker 1: on Sunday Night Live, and then I'm doing Monday that's

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Speaker 1: taped on Thursday. It's not a big deal. The biggest,

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Speaker 1: the biggest celebrity of mine is like Ray j I'm

365
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Speaker 1: not joking you guys. It's just as it's in the audience.

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Speaker 1: I heard it's Ray Day and uh, Heidi Klum might

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Speaker 1: like walk in the building to pick up an award. Um,

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Speaker 1: but at hers, it's like and I was talking to

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Speaker 1: her about her like preparing for it, and it's like

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Speaker 1: it's just night and day compared to what I've had

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Speaker 1: to do, which I'm grateful because I'm so busy. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to have to shoot a million things. But um,

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Speaker 1: she was like, she was like, if you start bombing

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Speaker 1: or whatever, because we were talking about like how these

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Speaker 1: crowds can be pretty rough, these industry crowds, um that

376
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,120
Speaker 1: are just there like agents, just sitting there, like not

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Speaker 1: wanting to laugh because they're worried that they'll get canceled.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know. But um, she was like, just

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Speaker 1: just when you just do crowd work, and she doesn't

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Speaker 1: know that I don't do CrowdWork, so she was like,

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Speaker 1: just do what you do, do crowd work if you like,

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Speaker 1: and like you never see mac but that's fine, I

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Speaker 1: don't expect, but she expects, like me as a season

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Speaker 1: comic to do CrowdWork, but she doesn't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: do it. And I would be good at it if

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Speaker 1: I did it, um you would, but I just don't

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Speaker 1: do it. But she was like, and I liked what

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Speaker 1: she said. She goes, just always say the first thing

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Speaker 1: you think about someone, And I'm like, well, Tony Handcliff

390
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,359
Speaker 1: did that and it didn't work out for him a

391
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Speaker 1: couple of years ago. But easter, uh fashion egg, well

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Speaker 1: what's his name? Said to mean discuss Sometimes the first

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Speaker 1: thing you think is like the worst thing, So maybe

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Speaker 1: I don't want to say that. But she was like,

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Speaker 1: and she goes, the first thought you have is always.

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Speaker 1: It's funny because when you're in like a twelve step program,

397
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,360
Speaker 1: they're like always the first thought, Like your first instinct

398
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 1: of like I want to do drugs is like ignore that,

399
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Speaker 1: like wait for God to talk. And she was like, no,

400
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: with comedy, your first thought is God talking. It's like,

401
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 1: just listen and just say that, because usually the first

402
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Speaker 1: thing you think about someone like insult wise comedy wise

403
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Speaker 1: is the funniest unless it's a horrible racial slur that yeah,

404
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,719
Speaker 1: but I do feel like like an improv they sometimes

405
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,919
Speaker 1: say the funniest thing is actually not a two B,

406
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,200
Speaker 1: but it's the c thought, like go to the next thought,

407
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 1: you know, don't think. It's like the motto don't think,

408
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,960
Speaker 1: but also say the third thought, like it's so stupid.

409
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Speaker 1: But um. Last night I did a comedy for the

410
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Speaker 1: first time in like six months, and uh, I was

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Speaker 1: talking to his other comic and we were like talking

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Speaker 1: about like when a comic brings you up and it's

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Speaker 1: actually like so hurtful or funny, like you can't follow

414
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 1: their introduction of you. And we were and he's like,

415
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 1: looks at me and he's like, yeah, you're like you know,

416
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Speaker 1: Jeremy Piven like made no money. And I was like

417
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Speaker 1: what what why? What were you just giving an example

418
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Speaker 1: like if he was like if I were to bring

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Speaker 1: you up to be like if Jeremy Piven something like

420
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: Jeremy Piven was like like I don't know, poor person

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Speaker 1: ship enough to women to assault them. And I was like, dude,

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Speaker 1: it's actually like good job. Now I gotta go. Now.

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00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,080
Speaker 1: I have a feel that way. We heard so many

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Speaker 1: bad things about Jeremy Pivens. Yeah to not even be

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Speaker 1: able to be Jeremy. Let's quickly go through my rocket.

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Speaker 1: Let's do it. Okay. So we were eating oatmeal a

427
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,120
Speaker 1: couple like a half hour ago, and we was about

428
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,639
Speaker 1: to go through my Ryo matches and then Andrew was like,

429
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: let's save it. So okay, I'm in l A and

430
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 1: so there's like more l A choices. Um. This guy

431
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 1: he's in San Francisco, too far white dude that Um

432
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 1: he does a lot of Okay, he's on top of

433
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: a mountain. These guys just do too many like sports. Oh,

434
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 1: there's like a he's not bad, but it's just not

435
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: gonna happen. Now, it's not gonna happen. Um, slow Norway.

436
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,479
Speaker 1: And that is a nightgown of a shirt. I mean

437
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 1: he's a hot man. He pulls it off every picture.

438
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: Yeah he does. Yeah, this guy just thinks he's hot

439
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,439
Speaker 1: and he knows that. Oh this guy's he was in

440
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: a frat and he never grew up. Yeah, this guy's

441
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: and these guys sometimes trying to be funny. He's like

442
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 1: a picture of Will Smith on his profile and it's

443
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 1: just like why how he's cute? He is cute, he's tall,

444
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: good hair shows an old definitely is someone that Yeah,

445
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 1: check him out. I like him, and I don't think

446
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen. Okay, this guy's cute. He's an artist.

447
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 1: What does that mean? He's like an artist surfer. They

448
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 1: always are not going to be into that guy. Okay,

449
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 1: let's keep going. This guy, um, he's at a rave

450
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: of some sort. I already don't like his eyes. No why,

451
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,160
Speaker 1: he just has psycho eyes that you'd end up in

452
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,400
Speaker 1: in a ditch. It's like a bunch of like, yeah,

453
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: they're all doing this curve thing. DiCaprio on the you

454
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 1: know what's it called? Don't put a picture up? When

455
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 1: Leo is pointing at the TV, it's like a meme.

456
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: It's like, don't he thinks he looks like Leo? That's

457
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 1: the thing. You look like a horrible Leo, the worst

458
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: version of Leo. Um. This guy, I mean, he's great,

459
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 1: great eyebrows, he's a DJ, he's a model. He looks

460
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: very European, he's very sexy. He'd be fun to fun

461
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 1: Swohn always in Sweden. Yeah, that's this guy is in

462
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: a gap at Do you think that's true model for gap? No? Oh,

463
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,679
Speaker 1: let's see what his name is oh, okay, some kind

464
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: of some some kind of panel one time when he's

465
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 1: a picture of it, always teaching his nephew that kid

466
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: can't even shoot yet. Oh this guy is no. I

467
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 1: mean everyone's so good. This guy's handsome. This guy looks

468
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 1: like bachelor. He does. He looks like he's on the

469
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 1: next season of Love Island. He has like his shirt

470
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:24,880
Speaker 1: unbuttoned down to his stern. He's very pretty. I mean,

471
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: this guy's wildly Now I'm not into this. He's in Sydney, Australia.

472
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 1: I can't take someone in Sydney, Michael. No, this guy.

473
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 1: Hate these guys that look at the camera and go

474
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 1: like like do selfies where they're like, oh, I'm confused,

475
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 1: like is this a camera. It's like they're pictures of things,

476
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: not themselves because one other guy did it. Yeah, he

477
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 1: has like pictures of paint swatches. It's like and I

478
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 1: saw I was scoping on here. There's like because you

479
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: can see the girls in your hood. No, no, no, no, actually,

480
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 1: I mean he's attractive. Man. He's driving a motorcycle in

481
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 1: a surf like he's on the ocean driving a motorcycle.

482
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 1: I can't it's I mean he seems like a nice

483
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,199
Speaker 1: guy and someone you'd want to give you a like

484
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 1: take you on a scuba diving tour. But that's not

485
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: my husband. Um not this guy, definitely not. He is depressed,

486
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: wants to start a podcast. No, not that guy. There's

487
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 1: no one, no, no, no, no, not bad. Okay, this

488
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 1: guy's in venice. This yeah, he's got. This guy is

489
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 1: a small mouth. This is a small mouth. But look

490
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: at how small his mouth is. I don't think we

491
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 1: keep going. That is a small little mess, a small mouth.

492
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: He has a big big chin, small mouth. I mean,

493
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,639
Speaker 1: I don't hate it. And he goes he has a

494
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: good Yeah, he's a good vibe. I still haven't matched

495
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 1: with anyone. No, okay, and now we're out, Okay, so

496
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,399
Speaker 1: we'll let you know if I matched with any of

497
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: those people I just went through. Let's get to the news.

498
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: What's better smallmouth big chin, big mouth, little chin? Uh smallmouth?

499
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 1: And that's a new country band. I got a girl

500
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 1: crush your first. Hey, you heard it here first folks. Hey,

501
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 1: I hope you're having a fun time out there. I

502
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: know it's the hump day, which is sometimes the best day.

503
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 1: If you don't want I mean, if you're putting your

504
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 1: genitals together. And I hope all the swells are out

505
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 1: there for everybody. And I promise you March will be

506
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 1: coming soon with those words on it. Who knows one day. Okay,

507
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: so the first headline, you're gonna love this. Donald Glover

508
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 1: or akh childish Gambino says fear of being canceled has

509
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: led to boring films and TV shows. He went on

510
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: a Twitter tirade the other day and said, we are

511
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,479
Speaker 1: getting boring stuff because people are afraid of getting canceled.

512
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 1: We're getting boring stuff and not even experimental mistakes. Now,

513
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if he's talking about being canceled in

514
00:26:55,280 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: the sense of your show being canceled or public opinion

515
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 1: and cancel. You think, yeah, like the yeah, it's like

516
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 1: making things safe because people are so scared to offend.

517
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 1: I agree somewhat. And that's the thing. It's like, people

518
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: are like, then where does it end? And it's like, well,

519
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 1: I can end with the N word and the any

520
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 1: kind of racial slur. We can just say don't do that.

521
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 1: How about that? And then it's like, well, what if

522
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: you do a joke based on a stereotype, like you

523
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 1: know is that bad, and it's like, yeah, I mean,

524
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know that that's bad. But let's

525
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 1: not do racial slurs. Maybe we just draw the line

526
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,880
Speaker 1: at that. I mean, Atlanta. Have you seen Atlanta? Really

527
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 1: it is fantastic. I mean, part of this is a

528
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,959
Speaker 1: little could to me because wheneverywhere anyone comes out like this,

529
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 1: essentially they're saying what I'm doing is great and and

530
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 1: I'm pushing the limits. Why are you not? That's how

531
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: it feels to me a little. But he kind of

532
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: comes through a lot, this guy, Like he really is

533
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: impressively talented. Uh but yeah, I don't know. I mean

534
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 1: I'm saying something at the in my monologue for them

535
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 1: TV things that's like people are gonna react to like

536
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,639
Speaker 1: grown because they're gonna think it's like fat shaming, And

537
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: I just don't care. I don't care that I'm going

538
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 1: to have a bunch of people, a bunch of skinny

539
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: people going you're fat shaming, because I don't think it

540
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 1: will be fat people that are going to be upset

541
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,400
Speaker 1: with the joke. Title of the show is fat shaming.

542
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 1: I mean, the title of the show is that I'm

543
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 1: making fun of is really the most fat shaming title ever. Yeah,

544
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: but that's the thing is like intellectual people that are

545
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:35,239
Speaker 1: smart can understand jokes and irony, and people that are

546
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: stupid just hear a word and they can't. I mean,

547
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: there is something about you know, him being a black

548
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: man Don Glover and saying stuff like this, and people

549
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: listen more like if a white guys like, we're not

550
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: making chose anymore. That's not like that that you're gonna

551
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: be No one wants to hear that right now. I

552
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 1: sometimes think like maybe I could say like the most

553
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 1: like controversial stuff, but have a black friend that says

554
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: it for me, and I just I'm a ghostwriter for him. Yeah,

555
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: and I let him do it all for me and

556
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 1: I get to say everything I want. But I feel

557
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: like you don't hold back saying what you want to say. Yeah,

558
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: I'm not like your biting might live to say racismphobic

559
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: things censored yet I mean there have been times in

560
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:22,719
Speaker 1: TV where I've been like, they don't want to do

561
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: that joke. They can't do that joke? Are you serious?

562
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: And it's it's usually not a racial thing or a

563
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: thing of canceled. It's usually like, um, that's really mean

564
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: about us as a network, and I'm like, well, you've

565
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: got to make fun of yourself as a network, and

566
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: if you don't, They're like, we like when you make

567
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: fun of yourself. Oh, you like me more when I

568
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 1: make fun of myself. Do you realize that as a

569
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: network people might like you more if you make fun

570
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: of yourself. Do you think that might translate to you?

571
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: And it's so funny because whenever I've done the Comedy

572
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: Central roast, I literally have done it three times, and

573
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: every single time I've had the joke in my set

574
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 1: that says Comedy Central has been so cool they let

575
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: us and like they really were, like, you can say

576
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 1: anything you want. Always asked, is you just don't say

577
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: the N word Netflix? And it was just a joke

578
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: about like commissential is threatened by Netflix, right, And they

579
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 1: wouldn't let me do the joke, not because of the

580
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: N word or like, not because of illusions, but because

581
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 1: of Netflix? And do you think people are going to

582
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: forget about Netflix if I don't remind them? And Natasha

583
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 1: l Zero wrote that joke for me years ago. She

584
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: was like, I was going to do the roast and

585
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: I thought of this joke and I was you can

586
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: have it if you want. I was like, I will,

587
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 1: and then I tried to put it in a roast

588
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 1: two or three times, and I always said it at

589
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 1: the live shows. I've done that joke and they always

590
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: cut it and it's a great joke, but they won't

591
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: make fun of themselves. Netflix never wants you to say

592
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 1: the C word, you know, cunt. They actually they're actually

593
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 1: a little yeah, can you want? We're buying them? Um,

594
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: Like I think maybe like an example of something that's

595
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: like outside of like race and stuff like that. It

596
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: is like a movie like Lolita being made today, like

597
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: like like a story like that, you know what I

598
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: mean that really like dives into like a love for

599
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: a like or like any kind of like glorifies it

600
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: and with these disgusting men like writing up their fantasies

601
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: of like fucking a fifteen year old Like I don't know,

602
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: I don't we have enough of that. We I don't

603
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: want to see that. But if it's a movie about

604
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: you know, child moist Station, bring it on. I mean,

605
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 1: no one's shying away from that ship. I feel like

606
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,479
Speaker 1: you could do documentaries about anything, but a fictional movie

607
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: about something that happened in a documentary wouldn't be cool.

608
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 1: I feel like in fiction you can do everything but that.

609
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 1: But no, But I mean, like I'm just saying they can.

610
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 1: There are men making movies about like fucking children. Probably

611
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: it's currently because that's all they all want to do.

612
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: It's just think about ramps. How long it takes to

613
00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: get a movie made. Well, not when you're Louis c

614
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: k and you write a movie where you get to

615
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: like your girlfriend gets to be seventeen or whatever. His

616
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: last movie that no one saw. Apparently it's just like

617
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:13,959
Speaker 1: really hard to documentary. Yeah, yeah, apparently, like in it,

618
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: he like is courting this really young girl and it's

619
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 1: just like very woody. Alan ask of like having this thing.

620
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I've cast people in things I've written before,

621
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 1: Like when I was in like two thousand eight, I

622
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: cast Ben Gleeb in this little like short thing because

623
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: I wrote this thing where I get to make out

624
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: with someone. I was like, I kind of want to

625
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: make out with Ben Gleeb, So I was kind of

626
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: a creep in doing that. But he's also a good

627
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 1: actor and it worked out. But your age, Yeah, I

628
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 1: mean it's true. I think I guess you know, I'm

629
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 1: not going to speak for cast Emi Radazowski and gone girl,

630
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: he wanted to suck those ditties. I'm sorry. She's a

631
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: good actress and I don't mean to she was amazing

632
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 1: in that. But I just my thought, and maybe I'm wrong,

633
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: is that he made that casting choice because he got

634
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: to cast whoever he wanted for this everyone else, and

635
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: then in the scene he's sucking or tits. It's like,

636
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 1: did he need to do that in that scene? Couldn't

637
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 1: they have just made out? And maybe like and I'm glad,

638
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: I mean like it maybe it was for the scene.

639
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to get in trouble of saying like

640
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 1: she was only cast for that, but I just see,

641
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: sometimes I teach you and that's that's I mean, directors

642
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: do that all the time of like I just want

643
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 1: to be around this girl or I just want to

644
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: be around this guy. So I'm gonna And it doesn't

645
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,719
Speaker 1: mean that they're not talented, but I just think, well, yeah,

646
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: I mean it's uh, I feel like Louise excuse for something,

647
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 1: like I'd be like no, But I'm being self deprecating

648
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: about how old and disgusting I am by showing like

649
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: a younger hot person next to me who doesn't really

650
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: want anything to do with me, but I have to

651
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: with my talent. That's also what he gets off on.

652
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: It's like having girls obviously be go, oh, you're jerking

653
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,239
Speaker 1: off like he likes. I'm not even kink shaming like

654
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: that to be a thing that you can pay people

655
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: to be, like, can you There's this one guy that

656
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: just wants me to ridicule him on Riya. That's like,

657
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: I just really get off on the idea of you

658
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,280
Speaker 1: like talking about like small my dick is on stage.

659
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 1: It's like that's a fetish for some people. It doesn't

660
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 1: mean it's wrong. I have nothing I would actually enjoy

661
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: like fulfilling that dream for you. And I'm not someone

662
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: who it hasn't had booked people on my show because

663
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: I wanted to meet them and see if there's a chemistry.

664
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 1: So I'm not someone who's like not being driven by

665
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: my sexual desires as well. But I just I'm all

666
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 1: I'm saying, is I see it when it happens. Look,

667
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: I see you next story. I mean it is why

668
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,800
Speaker 1: you hired me as a dog walk I want my

669
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 1: tie you to funck my dogs. Luigi was into you

670
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,359
Speaker 1: I wonder I would. Yeah, I don't think I could

671
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 1: suck Marran. No, Luigi would just like, oh, I don't

672
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,760
Speaker 1: even want to think about me. Passionate, for sure, Luigi

673
00:34:53,800 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: would be scared. I would be Sometimes Andrew like makes

674
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: out with Luigi, like we'll just pretend to be like

675
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: making out of them. But he doesn't really like lick him.

676
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 1: But sometimes he'll be like like, and I go, Andrew,

677
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: that's not even funny. And he won't stop doing it

678
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 1: is so disturbing. He's not touching Luigi, by the way,

679
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 1: dog lovers out there, He's not like doing anything. No,

680
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 1: it's fine. You could just tell everyone right now that

681
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: I make out Luigi's asshole. This is what funny story.

682
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: Luigi's asshole is always showing it like a little brown asshole,

683
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 1: you know. And my nephew Arlo, when he was a baby,

684
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: like they love babies love buttons, like he just worn

685
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,320
Speaker 1: out of press buttons, and he thought Luigi's asshole was

686
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: a button, inserted his whole finger and trying to push

687
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: Luigi on. And my nephew, my my brother in law,

688
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 1: told me Luis he goes It's like when Arlo pushed

689
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 1: Luigi's butthole, and I was like, wait, what he's like

690
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: because Luigi live with it for a while and Arlo

691
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 1: was like trying to turn the dog off by pushing

692
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: What did Luigi do? I mean, I'm sure it's took it, Lui.

693
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: She just takes it as you know. Next story, that's true.

694
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: I'm a little jealous. Okay. A woman had a fake

695
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: funeral for her ex boyfriend, so the mistress thinks he's dead.

696
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: How okay? So this woman, this woman found out she

697
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:21,959
Speaker 1: was pregnant, her boyfriend was cheating. The girl reached out.

698
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,800
Speaker 1: She told the girl that he died, and the girl

699
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: fell for it somehow and has made like Facebook post

700
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: like what could have done differently? I miss him? Like

701
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 1: she writes tributes to him all the time, and she's

702
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,839
Speaker 1: like keeps doubling down on the fact that he's dead.

703
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: How this get out? She made a TikTok video of

704
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 1: it where she confessed that her ex has been in jail,

705
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: but she told his mistress, oh, I didn't know, sorry,

706
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 1: so he was in jail. I missed that when I

707
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 1: read it. So he's in jail. So that's I guess

708
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,839
Speaker 1: why she can't get in touch with him. And so

709
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: she's like he's dead, bit move on. What a great move.

710
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love that so much. I mean,

711
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,760
Speaker 1: it's crazy and that these people are all not that smart,

712
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 1: but you know, um, do what you gotta do. I mean,

713
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: I think I think the issue is probably not the

714
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 1: woman that she's trying to keep away from her. Yeah,

715
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 1: probably the guy in jail that cheated on his wife. Yeah.

716
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 1: What do you think about that? Pregnant? Do you think

717
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: that it takes you to tango when let's say, let's

718
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: say a guy's in a relationship as a girlfriend cheats,

719
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 1: and then do we blame who do we blame? Well?

720
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,399
Speaker 1: I think in today's culture, a lot of times we say,

721
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:38,359
Speaker 1: oh no, just blamed a guy or the girl that's

722
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 1: going to cheating. But the yeah, the other person. I

723
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 1: guess it would have just been someone else if it wasn't.

724
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I think if you knew the girlfriend

725
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: and the boyfriend together, like you were friends with both

726
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: of them, that's a different situation. If you've never met

727
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 1: the other person, you have literally nothing in common with

728
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: or like nothing, then it's less on you. It's still

729
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 1: could be on that person. That's if he's gonna do

730
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:13,800
Speaker 1: it like you go, there's two arguments here, because sometimes

731
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 1: you go, this guy's listen, he's gonna keep doing it.

732
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: He's done it to this girl before, I have if

733
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 1: he's doing it with me, he's probably done it before,

734
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 1: or I have proof he's done it before based on

735
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 1: what he says. But he's probably a liar, so who

736
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 1: could really trust. But then you go, Okay, it's not me,

737
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: it's someone else. I've done that before. I once got

738
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 1: like fingered by a married guy and I was like,

739
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: this guy just keeps giving me vibes and I'm like,

740
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: he doesn't talk about his wife. He's like, it doesn't

741
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: seem like And then my friend was like, oh, he

742
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 1: cheats all the time. And I was like, okay, I'll

743
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: let him finger me, like I was just one of me.

744
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 1: I'm not like, I'm not going to be the one

745
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 1: that breaks up his family. Is how I convinced myself,

746
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: like if he does it all the time, and I

747
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: didn't do anything else. I didn't even acknowledge his penis

748
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 1: like I made a point. Not that that's like a

749
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: point of pride, but I was just like, he's not

750
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,080
Speaker 1: going to get anything. This cheating piece of ship it,

751
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: I'll get figured. And did I feel guilty? No? And

752
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 1: maybe should I maybe? Yeah, he's divorced now, and like

753
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: in a relationship, did he take his ring off to

754
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 1: put it in? You know? It made his finger a

755
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: little bit more bulky the blood it fell off inside me. No,

756
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,879
Speaker 1: that was when I was very young. I would never

757
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: funk around with a I picked up with one married

758
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: woman in Vegas, kind of crazy. I was so fucking

759
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,839
Speaker 1: I went to one of these day pools that are

760
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: adult day pools. Girls go topless, and I was like, really,

761
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 1: jack bet. Then I was like shaving my chest and

762
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: I put the bikini, like the woman's bikini on and

763
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: everyone's like that was that was my stand up back then.

764
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: It was putting a woman's bikini on. And then I

765
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 1: looked around and every guy copied me. I was like,

766
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:50,280
Speaker 1: fuck you, I'm the man. So she went topless. Yeah,

767
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 1: And so then I went out that night, didn't hook

768
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: up with her. I didn't know she was married. And

769
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: then the next morning she wrote me and I was

770
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: so hungover and I went over to her hotel room

771
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 1: and I was like, I just need to shower, and

772
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 1: I just showered and then I walked out and just

773
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: sucked her and then she liked, when did you find

774
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: out she was married? When I came, I'm married, and

775
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: I was like, no, um, I think I found out

776
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: before she. But yeah, we always convinced ourselves we didn't know.

777
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,600
Speaker 1: But it's like and it felt bad. But then she

778
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: text me again and then I was like, obviously, I'm sorry.

779
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 1: It's just like I talked about this a lot with people,

780
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 1: like but the girlfriend thing, Yeah, if you don't know them,

781
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 1: it's not still not right. But if you're under the

782
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 1: impression that this happens all the time and that they're

783
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 1: not happy in the relationship and all these things, like,

784
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:45,280
Speaker 1: you can invince yourself, Okay, I'll do it, but do

785
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: does the other the other woman or the other man

786
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: have a part to play? Yes, yes, and you have

787
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:56,800
Speaker 1: responsibility to like admit that you did something a little

788
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: not right either. Maybe it's not as wrong as the

789
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: person who chose that she eat. The problem is that

790
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 1: if the person as a family or the like, they don't,

791
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: they'll they'll fucking hate you, like you're gonna get hated,

792
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: Like you're not gonna please, Like it's don't expect to

793
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,840
Speaker 1: be a part of the children's lives whose fail or

794
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 1: do happen to you? Yeah? Yeah, your dad married married

795
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: the person that I cheated with. And part of it

796
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: was he did that because he wanted to prove that

797
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,760
Speaker 1: their love was real and that he didn't just cheat

798
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 1: to cheat, like he cheated because he loved this woman

799
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 1: and let's, you know, make an official with the government.

800
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 1: I remember we went bowling. That was the first time

801
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,439
Speaker 1: we ever met. How Florida is that we all went

802
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: bullying and knew she was the woman that you've been cheating. Yeah,

803
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 1: and she brought her own ball and I was like,

804
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: who is this woman? She can't do anything right? I mean,

805
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 1: if she didn't bring her own ball, you'd be like

806
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 1: that fucking score that took that hurt my mom. It

807
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:54,399
Speaker 1: was weird that my mom's face was on the ball

808
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: and I was like, really, you're gonna hit the pins

809
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: with that? Were you mad at your dad or your

810
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: mom or the girl when you were a kid? It?

811
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 1: And where's your mom more mad at your dad or

812
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: the woman? Dude? My mom fucking hate it her. I

813
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: mean she still does. Andrew. So I don't know, because

814
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 1: like I don't remember how old you were, but do

815
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:18,360
Speaker 1: you remember what your parents relationship was like prior prior

816
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: to your dad cheating. I'm sure it was not a

817
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 1: harmonious relationship. They fought for I was telling we were

818
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 1: talking talking to my brothers about it. I I don't

819
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: remember one time we were all happy as a family,

820
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: and they were and I got They got the fourth

821
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: when I was thirteen, So that's twelve years of like,

822
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 1: I don't honestly remember us all laughing together as a family.

823
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 1: I I really try to remember it, you know, and

824
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: I can't. I just think they were just stay hated

825
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 1: each other so much for like a year and a half.

826
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 1: They fought every single day, like me and Nikki did

827
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: last night, like every day. Though, imagine if we did

828
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: that every day. No, I know I grew up in

829
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: a family that did. That's why what would you do?

830
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: Would you talk or would you just go to your room?

831
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: I would go, stop fighting, and they go, we're not

832
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,839
Speaker 1: fighting you, You shut up. This isn't You're not a

833
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 1: part of this. You shut up? Can you stay out

834
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 1: of this? God damn it. Everyone's was ganging up. I mean,

835
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 1: I'm going to the store. Fuck you, and then slammed

836
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 1: the door and wouldn't come back for hours, and then

837
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 1: when she did, it would be come back and then

838
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about anything. It would be very like

839
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,919
Speaker 1: I I would say, I would have my first stand

840
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: up joke. Literally ever was that? Um when I used

841
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 1: to my parents used to fight, and when I would

842
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 1: say stop fighting, because I remember thinking this, they would go,

843
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 1: We're not We're not fighting, We're having a discussion. And

844
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,359
Speaker 1: I go, well, when we have a discussion in my

845
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: fifth grade class about the you know, a tree grows

846
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn or whatever the fuck you read in fifth grade,

847
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 1: um My, my my teacher doesn't throw a remote across

848
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: the room and say fuck you to our class and

849
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 1: then leave to go pick up Chinese food that you

850
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 1: never come back with. And you hit a mailbox on

851
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 1: your way out because you're speeding away so angrily and

852
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 1: you hit first when you really want to go and drive.

853
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 1: That's not what happens in discussions, dude. That is like

854
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 1: so that was like my first time. I remember I

855
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 1: remember as a kid doing like thinking of a stand

856
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 1: up but being like, it's funny that she says discussions

857
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 1: when like classroom discussions are never I was like formulating,

858
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 1: but that was my first thing I ever wrote. Do

859
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 1: my dad he doesn't know like how loud his voice

860
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: is when he yells, and his he like yelled talks,

861
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: and I never yelled talk like you know me, like

862
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: I rarely raised my voice ever. And I remember one

863
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 1: time he was yelled talking at me and I finally like,

864
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: when you hold it ever so long? I finally yelled

865
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: back and he was just like, why are you yelling?

866
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,320
Speaker 1: I go, You've been yelling my whole fucking line. Know

867
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 1: how you to it? That's why you have to record

868
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: people and go, this is what you sounded like. Like.

869
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 1: I've recorded my parents fighting before, and I won't play

870
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 1: it for them because I know they'll get so upset

871
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: and run and they'll just form out of the room

872
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: and won't listen. But if they knew what they sounded like.

873
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: And me too, I've heard myself on podcast where I'm

874
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 1: already no one being recorded and I'm I'm accountable and

875
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: I still behave in ways that are like really embarrassing.

876
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: So you know, we're all capable of it. And my

877
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 1: parents have gotten a lot better because I don't live

878
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 1: with them. Um, let's go to what do I care?

879
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 1: So I don't hear it as much? Why do I care?

880
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 1: All Right? So Taylor Swift channeled her nine era with

881
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: a bedazzled matching set. She becomes the first woman to

882
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 1: win the brit Award for Global Icon. Taylor district cardigans

883
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 1: and went back to her matching reminiscence said over, just

884
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 1: let me take this from here. Okay, So you know

885
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 1: images surface last night of Taylor Swift. She looks stunning.

886
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:51,439
Speaker 1: She is. Everyone on on the swift e subreddit is

887
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 1: commenting that she is for swifties out there. This is

888
00:45:55,239 --> 00:46:00,759
Speaker 1: an outfit with some red album hair and lipstick and

889
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 1: vibes and the confidence of folklore slash evermore. And it

890
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: is a look. This is a I mean, she looks stunning.

891
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 1: You should see the whole thing. I mean, I I

892
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 1: screened shouted so many things because this is what I

893
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 1: want to look like for. You know, we're coming out

894
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: of COVID when people start dressing really hot again, because

895
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:22,719
Speaker 1: it's like you can't look too sexy when everyone's dying. Yeah,

896
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: Taylor always reads takes the pulse of the room like

897
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,880
Speaker 1: she was wearing. You should have seen what she wore

898
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 1: to the A C M. A. Taylor swift. Your boy's

899
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: gonna start wearing really hot Look. Okay, go to that first,

900
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: that one perfect that she's wearing some pleated, um high

901
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: whistard pants with a mock turtleneck, her hair up in

902
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 1: a messy lower bun. I mean, she looks fantastic look

903
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 1: at that. But I mean and like, she's wearing a

904
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: whole sale McCartney off it. She looked amazing, but now

905
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: she's back to like sexy, like stomach showing. Um. Oh

906
00:46:58,120 --> 00:46:59,879
Speaker 1: what did she say? We live in a world hold

907
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: on want it? Oh? By the way, you guys, there's

908
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 1: a deep fake I put on Instagram yesterday of and um.

909
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: I ended up putting out three albums instead. So making

910
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 1: Folklore and Evermore was one of the most unique, cathartic,

911
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 1: extraordinary experiences I've ever had. I would love the opportunity

912
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:26,279
Speaker 1: to thank the amazing creative people that I made those albums. Okay,

913
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: I know that. Oh my god, I love her so much.

914
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 1: I like seeing those pictures less it's it's it's I'm

915
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 1: I think I'm kind of a I mean, I think

916
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:38,240
Speaker 1: I've kind of in loved with Taylor Short. You're obsessed, Yeah,

917
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 1: I know, I mean it's an obsession. I don't know

918
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 1: you had the same obsession for the Counting Crows guy.

919
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: But it's like or Dave Matthews back in the day.

920
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: I'm doing Foulon today and I'm talking about Dave Matthews,

921
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: and I'm really trying to work out the bit. I mean,

922
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 1: you gotta do you. I mean, I want to do

923
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: a bit about I mean, you'll watch Falin tonight and

924
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 1: see if it makes it, But I want to do

925
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,359
Speaker 1: a bit about how like I'm trying to raise it's

926
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 1: with not racially like doesn't doesn't make anyone go. I

927
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 1: want to make a joke about how like as a

928
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 1: white young girl in the suburbs in St. Louis, Missouri

929
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: in two thousand one, like a high schooler or like no,

930
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 1: this was seventh grader hearing Dave Matthews band like ants marching.

931
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,799
Speaker 1: I felt very cool that I learned the first rap

932
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 1: I ever learned. It was Candyman tempting about Lost program.

933
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: Like every white person was like, I'm I can wrap,

934
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: but I don't know how to phrase it. I mean,

935
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean literally, we got vanilla ice, and

936
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:44,120
Speaker 1: then we had can then the and then we had Yeah,

937
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 1: but yeah, no, that's from last night. Oh gosh, no,

938
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 1: r I p Tony's career. Hopefully let's get to collection

939
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 1: of kids. These are great, even if the shows we

940
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:00,839
Speaker 1: could have they already. I mean, say, when I said

941
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: that you were it really did hit you. It's so

942
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: funny to come up with an insult that like didn't

943
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 1: exist to you a year ago, and now it's like

944
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 1: the worst thing you can say. You better not do

945
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 1: it every day. I won't unless you jump off a balcony.

946
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: I caught you inca because I felt my own justification

947
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 1: of that. I'm not going to get into what we're

948
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: talking about, but was like, you're acting like, wait, I

949
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 1: didn't do anything? What like that kind of like to

950
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 1: not acknowledge because yeah, but sometimes people just don't want

951
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:43,360
Speaker 1: to acknowledge everything. And that's getting ready for So when Kirsten,

952
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 1: my besband from fourth grade, goes getting ready for some

953
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: kids like that, she's fucking funny, dude. She's coming here

954
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 1: in a couple of days. Okay, let's let's go through

955
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 1: some because that um are were sent in by our listeners.

956
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,279
Speaker 1: All right, we have one. Oh listen to a voice

957
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 1: message left from kid him UM about a Hi Nikki,

958
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:07,359
Speaker 1: Hi Andrew, thank you so much for your podcast. I

959
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 1: love listening. Um, I'm day through Thursdays. Um, I have

960
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 1: a real moment and also a mispronunciation of a word.

961
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 1: Uh So, a few years ago, a group called or

962
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 1: It's a Single person, Party next Door came out with

963
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 1: an album, and I was driving in a car with

964
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: a friend who I knew loved Party next Door, so

965
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: I wanted to be real cool and suggests listening to

966
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: one of the new songs. And the song I suggested

967
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 1: was rendest Us, but the song is actually rendezvous. Oh

968
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: my god, Kim coming in with a and re spread.

969
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 1: You know. I like the mispronunciation and the reveal is

970
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 1: the actual No, everyone always gives the actual word and

971
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 1: then the reveal after. I like, Kim is an all

972
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:12,319
Speaker 1: star and she should be on our staff because that

973
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 1: is I mean, that's the way she presented it. You're

974
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 1: right if you do misspronunciations, there's no wrong way to

975
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 1: call into the show and leave a voicemail. But like,

976
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:21,239
Speaker 1: let's give us what you said and we'll try to

977
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 1: figure out the word. Because ros is I've been saying

978
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 1: Santa Monica the whole time. We've been here last night

979
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:32,720
Speaker 1: you did a show in Santa Mo. Kim so funny,

980
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 1: and yes, you're right, that is you were like you

981
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: want to listen to this song that like, I just

982
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:40,279
Speaker 1: know that you think is a cool new artist and

983
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:43,280
Speaker 1: maybe you'll think I'm cool, and then you you don't

984
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: say the name. It's so is so great when the

985
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,720
Speaker 1: stakes are higher, like I mean, I know that's low stakes,

986
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 1: but when you're trying to seem the steaks get higher. Well,

987
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 1: the thing you keep misspronouncing that is so funny is

988
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 1: the girl from the Hill. It is married to Jacob Cavalier.

989
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: You keep going Cavalier. You know that Jeff Dye still

990
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: dating Cavalier, and I go, I do. I did not

991
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: know that Kristin Cavalier kissed Kristin Cavaliery and him are

992
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,920
Speaker 1: still together. But I cat being being cavalier? What does

993
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 1: that mean? Do you means being a beautiful dog with

994
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: big ears? You know what means being like shout out

995
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 1: to my little brothers. Two dogs their cavaliers. He is

996
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 1: to King Charles. Okay, well, yeah, being being cavalier means

997
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,799
Speaker 1: being like fine, like I think it means being like

998
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,759
Speaker 1: um letting it go like oh, I'm fine, Like I

999
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: don't like I'm cavalier about um. I mean, I'm not

1000
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: really care free care free? Thank you? All right, let's

1001
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,720
Speaker 1: go to Lyra. She wrote into the show. There's another

1002
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: voice unless you don't want to do it. Do we

1003
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 1: want to do another Let's do another voice. Mail Rowan,

1004
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 1: you got a lot to live up to. Rjuan Hi best.

1005
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: This is a ruan from Saudi Arabia. I'm a big

1006
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 1: fan of Nikki Glazer and I learned about her from

1007
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 1: watching her Netflix specials. I have a col moment that

1008
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: I want to share with you, guys. My sister, when

1009
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 1: she wasn't second grade, told her classmates that she was

1010
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 1: a trainer and she was training us, her siblings in

1011
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 1: a big gym in our house, which is obviously a

1012
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:27,279
Speaker 1: big lie. That's pretty cau I would say at the

1013
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 1: end of the day and first and foremost, I love you, guys.

1014
00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: By end of the day, in first and foremost for one,

1015
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 1: I love you, Okay. Her sister told people that she

1016
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 1: was training her siblings. It's it's maybe the first kid

1017
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 1: that second grader ever had in a life of many kids,

1018
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 1: and your sister is still a little bit kid. But

1019
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:52,880
Speaker 1: that is really cute. And I think we all told

1020
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,839
Speaker 1: lies like that. I didn't realize that, Like, yeah, we

1021
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 1: were all very when we were young, and we didn't

1022
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,399
Speaker 1: realize that people could see through us being cut. Like now,

1023
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 1: as an adult, cost get funnier because as an adult

1024
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:06,279
Speaker 1: you should be self aware enough that everyone knows you're

1025
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 1: trying to look cool, but kids are constantly trying to

1026
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 1: be Like I mean, every high school kid shopped this

1027
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 1: high and you're like, that's impossible, you're too, So you're

1028
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 1: right now, I'm gonna start calling my name. I'm gonna

1029
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: start kidding my nephew. And the's kind of like a

1030
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 1: gateway like that. Same like she's a trainer in second

1031
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 1: grade and by sixteen she's reving her engine at a

1032
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 1: movie theater like we I could, we could pick him

1033
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:31,440
Speaker 1: out early. It's this is another one to where that's

1034
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 1: a young girl. Okay, so this is uh, this is

1035
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 1: from Lyra High Lyra, she says. Okay, so I work

1036
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,880
Speaker 1: in a hospital in this Porsche has always parked like

1037
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:43,879
Speaker 1: an at an angle, like it's on display. Oh my god,

1038
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 1: I hate when people park at angles. One day, the

1039
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: dude that owns the vehicle was on his phone, leaning

1040
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 1: against it, talking on the phone, she wrote, And then

1041
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 1: you want to get the next part, Well I do.

1042
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 1: I just want to talk the porch at an angle,

1043
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 1: or the person that parks their car so way away

1044
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: from other cars so it doesn't get ding because it's

1045
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:06,960
Speaker 1: such a nice car. Get out of here, you fucking dick. Yes, okay,

1046
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:10,440
Speaker 1: so next part. Also, My nine year old daughter has heally's,

1047
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 1: which are sneakers with wheels on the heels. We live

1048
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 1: in this cute little university town and we were walking

1049
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,879
Speaker 1: down the street to get brunch at a gray place.

1050
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,799
Speaker 1: She was scooted along on her wheel sneakers and to

1051
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: herself like she was her own narrator, she said, I

1052
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 1: don't walk, I ride, And in my head I was like,

1053
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:36,279
Speaker 1: it is so I love killing children. This is the

1054
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:38,840
Speaker 1: this is the theme children. I mean, that is a

1055
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:42,480
Speaker 1: funny line for your daughter to say your daughter seems delightful,

1056
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 1: but for her saying that to herself is so cute too.

1057
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 1: I don't walk, I ride. And if anyone that narrates

1058
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: their own lives, yes, yes, that but killing your kids,

1059
00:55:54,520 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 1: I like, really amen to this. Your kids out there

1060
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,239
Speaker 1: and teach your kids like teach your kids it's to

1061
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 1: kill people, because it's a way that's to insult people.

1062
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 1: That really it's almost the same thing. I was realizing

1063
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 1: that Harris Whittles came up with humble bragg. You know,

1064
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 1: when people on Twitter would be like, I'm in l

1065
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 1: A and I have so many meetings I can't even

1066
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:15,880
Speaker 1: and it's just like, we get it. You're in l

1067
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:19,760
Speaker 1: A doing meetings, so good humble brigg are very close together.

1068
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 1: I will say that I coined cup before humble Brag,

1069
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 1: although humble brag is a whole thing up in and

1070
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 1: of itself, UM that I love and you still see

1071
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:32,160
Speaker 1: all the time. That's it for collection of because thank

1072
00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:35,960
Speaker 1: you for sending yours in. Let's get into final thought

1073
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 1: and I am the low. Can I just finish what

1074
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:44,359
Speaker 1: my day is so after this, I mean, it's not,

1075
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,800
Speaker 1: I promise you it's not. I do not think I'm cool.

1076
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: I really I do kid things, but I really don't

1077
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 1: think I'm that cool, especially after finding out that Leslie

1078
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 1: Jones is hosting something where Snoop Dogg is the house DJ,

1079
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:01,360
Speaker 1: and my house DJ is Kim Lee from Bling Empire,

1080
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 1: and and I don't even know her it could be

1081
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 1: she's probably actually amazing. No, she she's She's legit. I'm

1082
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:09,879
Speaker 1: I was just saying that as a as a joke.

1083
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 1: And also I don't know who um she is. I

1084
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,440
Speaker 1: don't know a lot of the people that are going

1085
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 1: to be there, but I'm finding out about them anyway.

1086
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 1: Today I have Okay, I have a fitting in an

1087
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 1: hour here, then I have to get ready for Fallon,

1088
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 1: and then I have falon it too that'll air tonight

1089
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 1: you guys, So if you're listening to this, um, I'm

1090
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 1: on Fallon tonight or last night, but it's probably on

1091
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: YouTube at this point, so do check that out. And

1092
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:40,720
Speaker 1: then I finished Falon at three and are like around

1093
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 1: then and then I go to MTV rehearsal Space. I

1094
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 1: go to the Palladium to rehearse for tomorrow show at

1095
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: four thirty. So I've an hour and a half there,

1096
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 1: hang out, maybe play a little guitar with and a

1097
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:56,400
Speaker 1: meal learned. Um. I've been trying to get a meal

1098
00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 1: to like because we have two guitars here because I

1099
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 1: had Carlisle have her boyfriend and bring one over. So

1100
00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: because I when there's two people that are at the

1101
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 1: menal meal are at like the kind of the same level.

1102
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:07,840
Speaker 1: He's more into like doing lead stuff, and I just

1103
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 1: want to learn how to strom songs. But he can't sing,

1104
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: at least he says he can't. He's too scared to sing.

1105
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:15,479
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get a meal to like sing, even

1106
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 1: though I know he can. Um, it's too vulnerable though.

1107
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 1: Men singing early, high pitched like beautiful songbird as a

1108
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:27,560
Speaker 1: gorgeous voice. Um, He's like, I can't sing, I can't

1109
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,040
Speaker 1: sing any He's just like, I want to rock your

1110
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 1: buddy that range Rover, yeah or something. But we learned

1111
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: how to sing. Um, we learned how to play like

1112
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 1: a range. Is that lyric? No? But it got no.

1113
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 1: I was dying bright sounds better when in the headphones,

1114
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 1: you know, when you sing. I really thought it was

1115
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 1: a lyric. That's why I wasn't that impressed it. I

1116
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 1: think you were combining I want to racult naughty day

1117
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 1: to day rain Rover. Yeah, that's what's that song? Uh's over?

1118
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: What's happen? You know? I drove my car pastor house

1119
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 1: last night. I drove wait went noge hammer Rover? Yes, Uh,

1120
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 1: what's her name? Olivia Rodrigo who was influenced by Taylor

1121
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 1: Swift and became famous in during COVID. Finally met Taylor

1122
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 1: Swift last night at the brit Awards and everyone's like,

1123
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,480
Speaker 1: oh my god, they're meeting and there's so many pictures

1124
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 1: of it. Um. Then at so I go to rehearsal

1125
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 1: from four thirty to six, Then we have a COVID test.

1126
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:41,440
Speaker 1: Then I have a stand up show at seven. Then

1127
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 1: I have a stand up show at nine, and then

1128
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 1: I also have what I could go to a ten

1129
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 1: thirty if I want to run my set again, and

1130
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:49,080
Speaker 1: then I can go to bed, and then tomorrow morning

1131
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 1: I wake up and do the Awards. The fullest day ever.

1132
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 1: I mean, it is no, No, I don't think I'm cool.

1133
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit worried about FALON. I gotta be honest,

1134
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:05,880
Speaker 1: because I don't usually going into FALON. I know, like

1135
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 1: when you have a conversation with someone. I'm obviously used

1136
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: to doing podcasts and stuff, but when it just needs

1137
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 1: to be jam packed with jokes of like, I just

1138
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,720
Speaker 1: don't want it to be a meandering conversation. The truth

1139
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 1: is most celebrities go on FALON and actors and stuff,

1140
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 1: and they don't have punch lines and it's fine, you're

1141
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: gonna have Jimmy's a great, great host, great laugher, great

1142
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 1: you know, has a great enthusiasm, great listener, allows you

1143
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 1: to do what you do. But you know, I just

1144
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 1: on these kind of days where it's like usually fallon

1145
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 1: would be all my focus, but now I'm like, I'm

1146
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:40,640
Speaker 1: working on the jokes I can't do on MTV, I'm

1147
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 1: gonna do on FALON. So if you're doing if you're

1148
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 1: doing stand up, I understand, Like if you're having to

1149
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,480
Speaker 1: do stand up on FALON, the fact that you're talking

1150
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:54,200
Speaker 1: like Conan, Conan you really practice for and then about

1151
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,919
Speaker 1: it was off the cuff stuff that was, honestly maybe

1152
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:00,360
Speaker 1: some of the best stuff there. So you're gonna be good.

1153
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,439
Speaker 1: You have a plan. I bet you. It goes off

1154
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: the rails a little bit. The picture of me meeting

1155
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 1: Dave Matthews, Yeah, you should show a picture of the

1156
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,480
Speaker 1: light switch. The light switch and is that funny? Yes,

1157
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 1: you went from the light switch to real life. Yeah,

1158
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 1: it's like you turned the switch on and you met him.

1159
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 1: It's it's unbelieve it like back to the future. Yeah,

1160
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: it's the picture is so funny because I say to him,

1161
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, Jimmy, I this picture. I knew it was

1162
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: going to mean more to me than any photograph I've

1163
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,240
Speaker 1: ever taken. What's a photograph that I could say like

1164
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 1: it means more to me. Let's like we're read a

1165
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 1: joke right now that people will here, it means more

1166
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:41,440
Speaker 1: to me. This photograph meant more to me than um

1167
01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 1: the photographs, the photograph of soldiers holding up the flag,

1168
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 1: Yeah your name for that. I knew this photo would

1169
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:55,640
Speaker 1: mean more to me than probably my being. People care

1170
01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 1: about wedding photos. People care about yeah yeah, yeah, my future.

1171
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 1: It's been our wedding photos, our engagement photos will have

1172
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:07,760
Speaker 1: nothing on this photo. There's something about like I knew

1173
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 1: this photo would be next to my casket someday. No,

1174
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,560
Speaker 1: that doesn't make sense, and day will be playing say goodbye,

1175
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: Say goodbye. But the picture I tried to look so

1176
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 1: cute and and it just looks my face is just

1177
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 1: so scrunched up and excited, and it's just it's it's

1178
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 1: honestly pretty cute because I'm just like I couldn't hide

1179
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 1: my feelings and pictures are so fake, like when we

1180
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 1: smile in pictures, I'm just like, that's not how anyone

1181
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 1: ever looks, you know what, smile how you do in pictures?

1182
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:39,640
Speaker 1: If you were like sitting next to your mom for

1183
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 1: a Mother's Day photo, Okay, I've literally never seen you

1184
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:50,320
Speaker 1: smile like that. You never know. I usually go like this, actually, okay,

1185
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:51,960
Speaker 1: I see you look like that. That's just when you're

1186
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:55,520
Speaker 1: smiles are so fake, Like Mother's day photos next to

1187
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 1: your mom are a fake smile. I know. But then

1188
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 1: I think we go the other way where it's like

1189
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 1: everyone has a quirky face. It's like, can we just

1190
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 1: go make ugly faces and photos because they're scared that

1191
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:11,800
Speaker 1: if they actually look ugly they can. It's it's just

1192
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 1: such a defense when people are like, make like a

1193
01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 1: silly face, because there's it's they're scared of vulnerability of

1194
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:19,520
Speaker 1: actually trying to look good and then not looking good.

1195
01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 1: And that's why music is so humiliating when men, when

1196
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:26,800
Speaker 1: people sing men who sing like I Love You, they

1197
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 1: like moan their emotions out of their mouth. It's so

1198
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 1: vulnerable and so hilarious. But I don't the only thing

1199
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 1: that I would argue that it's not that vulnerable is

1200
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:39,160
Speaker 1: because they get such a positive reaction from it. So

1201
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,480
Speaker 1: it's like, how it's still to take that chance and

1202
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:44,120
Speaker 1: not know if that positive reaction is coming, right? Yeah,

1203
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 1: I guess it depends how good you are. Yeah, I

1204
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 1: mean I could go pretty bad. It takes a lot

1205
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:51,760
Speaker 1: of confidence and probably narcissism and sociopathy. But we gotta go.

1206
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. That's wait. Are we done tomorrow? Yes,

1207
01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:59,920
Speaker 1: tomorrow the day of the awards. Watch fallon tonight. Check

1208
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,280
Speaker 1: my tourniqi glazer dot com slash tour. Keep leaving us

1209
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 1: voice memos and send in your kids. We'll get to

1210
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,400
Speaker 1: them at another time. Thank you everyone to that sentence

1211
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 1: stuff and it listens every day. We love you so much. Busties,

1212
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 1: and with the cake because it's for kids. A kid, Yeah,

1213
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:20,280
Speaker 1: your kids. Kill your kid? Sounds like we said, kill

1214
01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,280
Speaker 1: your kids. It wouldn't be a bad idea.