1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: My husband got another woman pregnant? Should I forgive him? 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: And this is Okaylope where we read the craziest true 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: stories on Earth. I am John and producer Riley. Should 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: they forgive him? I mean, oh absolutely, that's the good? 5 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 1: Oh absolutely? Well? Why absolutely? So? 6 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 2: You know, like you have those couples that have issues 7 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 2: with like, you know, getting babies, having babies, right, sure, 8 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 2: I feel like this situation where he's helping out with that. 9 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 2: He's like, Hey, don't worry, dude, I got you. You 10 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 2: need a kid, I got. 11 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: You a kid. 12 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 2: And he's spreading joy or all around the world. 13 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: So we've done over two thousand stories on the show. 14 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: There's like maybe one in five hundred that does end 15 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: up being this kind of scenario. I'm gonna say absolutely, 16 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,879 Speaker 1: heck no, that is not at all of the scenario. 17 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: This person is absolutely a whole and you should not 18 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: forgive them. But there's only one way to find out. 19 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: So this story comes from throw Our a Honoy Champ. 20 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: They say, I twenty six, female and pregnant after a 21 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: fertility struggle slash being told I might never get pregnant. 22 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: My husband forty two male, sixteen year age difference by 23 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: the way peep that just admitted to having an affair 24 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: and getting someone else pregnant, not sure what to do. 25 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: One wasn't enough for you, man, Seriously, Like, honestly, it's 26 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: already horrendous that you get somebody else pregnant, but the 27 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: fact that you, like also just got your wife pregnant 28 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: who's been struggling with fertility. Just have you ever heard 29 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: of timing? My guy, she just got a shoe. 30 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 2: He was on fire. 31 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: Buckets shoeing wet. So my husband and I got married 32 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: three years ago when I was a teenager, not when 33 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: she was a teenager, but starting a new sentence, hold 34 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: on pause. When I was a teenager, I was told 35 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: that due to medical complications, I may never be able 36 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: to have children. But after two years of trying infertility treatments, 37 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: I am now halfway through my pregnancy with our miracle baby. 38 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 2: Congratulations. 39 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I would say the same, but given 40 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: what we just heard prior, yes, seems. 41 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 2: Insane graduations to you as a mother, not a couple. 42 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 1: And f everything else in the situation. Unfortunately, because of 43 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: some complications, I had to cut back on my hours 44 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 1: at work. It's very physical. My husband offered to pick 45 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: up more hours to compensate. So he has been working 46 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: a lot more in these past two months and coming 47 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: home later. 48 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,799 Speaker 2: What a guy, What a stand up guy? 49 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: And a guy? What what are you doing on these 50 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,639 Speaker 1: after hour shifts? 51 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 2: Working? Of course? 52 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: You know? Are you slogging a way? Are you pounding 53 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: the pavement doing hard work? 54 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 2: He's grinding? 55 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 1: Dude? Is he grinding through his labor? I don't know. 56 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: I couldn't see that anything was a miss. Things were 57 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: the same as they had always been. He always brings 58 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: home flowers, food, things for the baby, coffee. He's always 59 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: sending me thoughtful and loving texts throughout the day. The 60 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,359 Speaker 1: gaps where he was unreachable were explainable. But this morning 61 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: he sat me down and gave me news that rocked me. 62 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,800 Speaker 1: He told me he's been having an affair for the 63 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: past six weeks and is a fair partner. Just found 64 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 1: out that she is pregnant. Oh boy, gotta love that. 65 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: Gotta love that. He says that if she decides to 66 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: keep the baby, she's going to raise it by herself, 67 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: and that they have mutually agreed to end the relationship already. 68 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:24,360 Speaker 1: He wants to make things right. Perfect case scenario perfect 69 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: case scenario. Yeah, like oh oh, like, considering what happened, 70 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: this is the best outcome of a terrible situation. 71 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 2: It's okay, Like I got her pregnant, but she does 72 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 2: anything to do with me. 73 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: It's all good, babe. Like there's just like a little 74 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: baby just like around, like we gonna like me and stuff. 75 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: But I ain't even gonna touch that baby with a 76 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: temp of pole. So like, guess we're so chilling me. 77 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 2: You worry about it? 78 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: It's all good. I don't know how things can ever 79 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: be right again. He just wants to move on from 80 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 1: what he calls his transgression, his ooopsy whoopsie stawy. This 81 00:03:59,160 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: is no sorry. 82 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 2: It's what every girl says whenever they like hit a 83 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: curb with their car. 84 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: Yeah it was in hoopsie. How do I ever forgive him? 85 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: How do you deal with the unthinkable? How do I 86 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: learn to live with the idea that my child's sibling 87 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 1: might be out there someday? Most importantly, how do I 88 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: learn to move on? Like he wants me to? Oh? 89 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: I read that at first as like like he wants me, 90 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 1: like he's so interested in me, because it's like, oh, 91 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: if you're off with someone else what am I missing? 92 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: But like she was actually probably saying how do I 93 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: move on? And kind of like just you know, brush 94 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: it off, like he wants me to brush it off right. Edit. 95 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: I do have an ob appointment for unrelated medical reasons tomorrow, 96 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 1: at which time I will make sure to request extensive testing. 97 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,239 Speaker 1: I have plans to meet with a lawyer on Monday. 98 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: Things are getting serious. I'm talking to my sister to 99 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: see if I can stay with her. My relationship with 100 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: as much as my family is irritable, but I have 101 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: pretty positive relationship with her. I will not be seeking 102 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 1: other options other than having my baby, do to being 103 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 1: pretty far along and having been told in the past 104 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: I would not conceive regardless of what my husband has done. 105 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,360 Speaker 1: I love my child nice At number two. I saw 106 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: my obi that's a doctor who helps with pregnancy on Friday, 107 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: and we'll hopefully have some test results fingers crossed on 108 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 1: all negative within the next few days. So I think 109 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: the test she's getting is like, hey, did he give 110 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: me anything free? Being with her? Oh my god. My 111 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: sister advised me to stay in the house that my 112 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: husband and I co own until I talk to my lawyer. 113 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: Since this has been such an emotionally harrowing time for me. 114 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:53,279 Speaker 1: He's acting like everything is normal. All I want to 115 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: do is sleep. I keep telling myself it'll be over soon. 116 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: Oh and we do have Revin comments little Panda toys, 117 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 1: says Craig use the name. I don't know anything about you, 118 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 1: but I wouldn't be okay with having a baby with 119 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: a man who just abandoned one. Wow, I what you got? 120 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: You got any thoughts on that? Real quick? 121 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 2: I mean this is like her miracle baby, Like yeah, 122 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 2: like I I think it's I don't know if abandoning 123 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 2: is the word. 124 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: More so, it sounds like he's like, hey, I want 125 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:29,719 Speaker 1: to make sure I'm prioritizing my actual partner and being 126 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: like it seems they came to a mutual agreement that 127 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: if it seems there's an if in this equation, if 128 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 1: the affair partner does actually continue with the pregnancy and 129 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: has the baby, she will take care of It seems 130 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 1: mutually agreed upon, and it is in a way kind 131 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 1: of good because then they at least don't have to 132 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: be involved. And yeah, stay in a way, I don't know, 133 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: it's it's it's definitely a weird, sticky subject. But here's 134 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: what OP has to say about it. I keep coming 135 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: back to this. It sounds like she's on the fence 136 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: about the pregnancy, which is ultimately one hundred percent her choice. 137 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: But the ease with which he's willing to take the 138 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: stance of forgetting the whole thing happened is hard for me. 139 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: I'm more than halfway through my pregnancy twenty three weeks, 140 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: so I am in a different, very different, very different love. 141 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: An Info says, was thinking the exact same thing. I'm 142 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 1: not getting that he has any fear of losing you. 143 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: Why either he thinks are easy to control or not 144 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: that bright or desperate to stay his wife? Which is it? 145 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: Why isn't he begging you to stay with him? Why 146 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: does he feel you'll just go along with forgetting that 147 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: he's cheated on you? Op. I think he knows that 148 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: my initial reaction was going to be that yes, we 149 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: could fix this, or that I would agree to make 150 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: things right. I think he knows that I have so 151 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: much invested emotionally in this relationship. He is my first 152 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 1: real love, my first well everything really, and that I 153 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: am more likely to fight for what we have than 154 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: to give it up. Even I am surprised at how 155 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 1: conflicted I feel Riley. Oh, we have an update. 156 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, she just needs to leave them. There's no no. 157 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 1: One mentioned the age gap yet. I'm sorry. Now, there's 158 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: plenty of relationships that have big age gaps. I've had 159 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: several people close to me in my life with age 160 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: gaps of this nature. 161 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 2: Really, yes, and would you like to share? 162 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: I do have an aunt and uncle who have a 163 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's if it's almost twenty year age. 164 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: I actually it kind of sounds like this. I believe 165 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: it was very late twenties and very late forties, okay, 166 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: which is what I'm imagining, which is okay, which is 167 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: low key. That's okay, kind of in a way, a 168 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: lot better than this opie is. Whenever they got together, yeah, 169 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: she was three years ago. She was twenty three, and 170 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: he was like thirty nine. Yeah, that's that's kind of crazy. Yeah, 171 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: that's great. Great, I know twenty three year old Riley 172 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: would be totally down to date some thirty nine year 173 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: old fucking babes. Honestly, you would like you would be like, oh, 174 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 1: like I feel like it'd be like a fun fling 175 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 1: or like that. You would maybe sorry, babes, but you 176 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: wouldn't be like seriously and you wouldn't like leader on 177 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: to think like, oh, I'm like seriously trying to get 178 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 1: into it or something like that. You know, I know 179 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 1: you never know about me, you know, all right, keep 180 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: me on my toes over here, bro. But yeah, I 181 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: think that like this is some tricky territory. Once you're 182 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: like past thirty, I think these age gaps become a 183 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: lot absolutely easier. Like by the time you're like getting 184 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: into your thirties, you have lived a lot of life. 185 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: You know what you like, you know what you like. 186 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: It's like a lot of it's it's still a crazy 187 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: age gap, but I think it's just the twenties is 188 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 1: really early twenties. It's it's it's tough. 189 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 2: It's tough. 190 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,679 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you're like so new to things. And I 191 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,959 Speaker 1: do wonder if this is, man, I'm making some inferences here. 192 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: I wonder if this is kind of a situation where 193 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:01,320 Speaker 1: the person or the husband specifically was able to kind 194 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: of like, you know, I'm the older guy. I can 195 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: take care of you. Things of that nature. Not not 196 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 1: sugar diedy per se, but you know, I can take 197 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 1: care of you. Kind of a relationship and she's like, hey, 198 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: let me lean into this, like I can feel like 199 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 1: safe and provided for and like here's someone who like 200 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: has all this life experience. Maybe that's also like partially 201 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 1: attractive to her. And then he's kind of like I 202 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: got this in the bag like experience. Yeah, I'm you know, 203 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: and not even maybe money per se, but like the 204 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: stability I feel like of being like, hey, I'm an 205 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: older guy, I have life figured out. And she kind 206 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,599 Speaker 1: of like lean on me as someone like help me 207 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: navigate life. Like we're not like in the same spot 208 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: we were, not like kind of totally clues together. I 209 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: can kind of lean on you to help me. 210 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 2: I'm on that same trick. 211 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, And then he kind of maybe is like, you know, 212 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 1: I can you know, she's so dependent on me. Basically 213 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 1: I can do whatever I want. I can run around 214 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: and slang my wang left, right and center and just 215 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 1: get some. 216 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 2: Girl pregnant at more kids. 217 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: I don't know. I kind of feel like a little 218 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: bit of that is what's going on here. 219 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 2: Definitely going to divorce, though I think they think they're 220 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 2: going to divorce. 221 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: Explain why tinfoil hat moment talk to me. 222 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 2: Well, his sister's like, she's already meeting with an attorney, 223 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,680 Speaker 2: and her sister's like, don't leave the house. 224 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, just getting everything prepared. 225 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean, the dude can find other girls, 226 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 2: so he doesn't have to worry about that. 227 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: Apparently he found it already. He's done, although he's done, his. 228 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 2: Homewor Hat advants Yeah, but will he beg it or not? 229 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: Well, we're about to find out in this juicy updates 230 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: Where to begin. 231 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 2: At the beginning. 232 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,319 Speaker 1: First off, the other women decided to terminate her pregnancy, 233 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: which was confirmed to me by her. Oh so that 234 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:55,199 Speaker 1: does at least kind of move remove some some complications, 235 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: but really not anywhere near and I can't race what's happening. 236 00:11:58,720 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 2: But they talked. 237 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: Talking to her was really weird and didn't answer a 238 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 1: lot of questions that I had for her. This is 239 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: a person who knows me and has met me a 240 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: number of times, and I just don't get it. The 241 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: motivations on both sides don't make any sense to me, 242 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: and I don't know if they ever will. It helped 243 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: to learn that there was no romantic feelings, but it 244 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,840 Speaker 1: was still confusing, especially since I perceived my husband and 245 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: I to have a healthy sex life as often as 246 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: four to six times per week. It's pretty active. 247 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 2: That is very active. The guy that has zero. 248 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:35,960 Speaker 1: Sund bro bro is popping that viagra. Here, forty two 249 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: year old, going strong, And I don't really get what's 250 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: fun or exciting about leaving the boundaries of your marriage. 251 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: We are in therapy separately and together. Going separately is 252 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: helping me sort out a lot of my own feelings, 253 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: but I think that going together is an essential one 254 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 1: way or another as well. I really have to quickly 255 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 1: touch on just like one paragraph ago where she's like, 256 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: I don't get what's exciting about leaving the boundaries of 257 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,679 Speaker 1: the marriage. My man was chased in twenty three year 258 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,440 Speaker 1: olds at thirty nine. I think what he finds exciting 259 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: is the ones that can run fast, the ones that 260 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:15,440 Speaker 1: are young in spry. He has been cooperative and participatory 261 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: in therapy. I'm hopeful that we can figure out at 262 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,199 Speaker 1: least some things. We've had a lot of conversations about 263 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: why it won't be easy for me to just forgive this, 264 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 1: and why I need answers and changes in behavior, and 265 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 1: I do feel like I've been heard. Okay, divorce is 266 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: not completely off the table, but it's a very hard 267 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 1: situation to be in, especially in a vulnerable state like 268 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: me being pregnant. I've consulted with the lawyer and made 269 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: my own parameters clear to him, but for now I 270 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: want to try to work things out. 271 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 2: WHOA did not see that coming? 272 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: Riley predicted the divorce, but hey, hey, we still have 273 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 1: a whole story to go out. I know this isn't 274 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 1: the update that a lot of people probably hoped for, 275 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 1: like Riley, Yeah, but for me, I think this is 276 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 1: the right choice. Thank you all for your words of encouragement, advice, 277 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 1: and perspective. I definitely took a lot of things to 278 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: heart and will remember them for a long time. It's 279 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: very appreciated. Edit. I want to make it clear since 280 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: people seem confused, divorce is not off the table. What 281 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: is off the table right now is trying to make 282 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: a decision that will affect my life greatly when I'm 283 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: already in an extremely vulnerable physical slash mental position without 284 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: making an attempt at healing both my own and with him. 285 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 1: Even if we end up divorced in the end, allowing 286 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: myself time means that things have a higher chance of 287 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: being amiable and easier for all of us, especially our child. 288 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 2: And I I'm. 289 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: Sensing this frustration coming from Big Protein's corner over there. 290 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 1: I mean, Okay, the one thing I will say, ok 291 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: is that the husband does seem to be trying in 292 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: some ways, like he did. I think, like it seems 293 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 1: like as soon as he found out, or like very 294 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: shortly after he found out that the part of the 295 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: fair part I was pregnant, he's like, all right, it's 296 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: time to reconcile and make things right. Why didn't you 297 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 1: do that when you first chucked up? Why did you 298 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 1: look up in the first place? 299 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 2: Why did you keep it going for another six months 300 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 2: and then whenever six weeks, six weeks, six weeks? Why 301 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 2: did you keep it going for those six weeks and 302 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 2: then whenever it got too hot and heavy? Sat did 303 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 2: to confess? 304 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 1: Yeah? Like, I mean, you shouldn't. You just shouldn't have 305 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: done it, you freaking idiot. Second of all you had, 306 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure they hooked up multiple times for 307 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: these six weeks, Like he's going out of four to 308 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: six times, right? Can we do some quick maths real quick? 309 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: If he let's say, let's say, with the affair partner. 310 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 1: Let's say three times a week. Let's let's let's give 311 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: him that six weeks. So okay, that is eighteen times 312 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: you had. You're telling me you had eighteen properly, Let's 313 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: do it for fun. What's six times six is a 314 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 1: fuck thirty six thirty six? Dude, you have thirty six 315 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: potential eighteen to thirty six opportunities to tell her. That 316 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: makes it look a lot worse than it's just a 317 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: sixth week. So like, in one way, he is trying 318 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: to rectify it and is doing better than many other 319 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,840 Speaker 1: people that we've seen in these stories. On the other hand, 320 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: he I think he's just trying to be like, just 321 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: don't worry about it. 322 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 2: Just just yeah, he got he got caught red handed. 323 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly what I feel like for every like 324 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: he's going to therapy with her in individually, he wants 325 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: to brush it under the rug and kind of pretend 326 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: like it doesn't happened. He, you know, did the cheating, 327 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: had sex probably multiple times. Only when he had the baby. 328 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 1: Did he want to come clean and try to like 329 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: have this steadfast approach in making things right. It seems 330 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 1: like every single mistake he has, like there's there's an 331 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 1: equal opposite reaction, but like every good thing is tied 332 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: to like a mistake, almost to for tat you were. 333 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 2: At the first before we got into this update. You're 334 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 2: totally right about the stability because the only reason divorce 335 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 2: is still on the table or not. Like she's still 336 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 2: like thinking on if I should or someone that stability 337 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 2: because she's thinking, like, I want my child to. 338 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: Have a father figure, which yeah. 339 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 2: That's a great thing, but is this good and be 340 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 2: the guy like he's doing this on the side, he 341 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,199 Speaker 2: is also being very nice in her flowers, cooking for 342 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 2: still being in touch, but like, what's going on? 343 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: Another round? Pregnant? 344 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, what's going to say, like you won't do it again? 345 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 2: You know? 346 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? And I will say, actually, in addition to that, 347 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,440 Speaker 1: I don't think it's just the stability she's looking for. 348 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 1: I think she genuinely like wants the relationship to continue, 349 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 1: but like is just so conflicted with like like she 350 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: I think she actually still has like feelings for him 351 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 1: and like like would like to see a world where 352 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 1: they could continue their their future as a couple, but 353 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 1: is having a hard time seeing that world because of 354 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 1: all of the effery that this guy has done and committed. 355 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,600 Speaker 1: But Riley, pucker your lips because we've got some more 356 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:49,439 Speaker 1: hot tea in this juicy updates. There's more, there's more. 357 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 358 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 1: So I found out that shortly before we got married 359 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: he'd had another affair that I never found out about 360 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 1: previous see again, I see always. I was devastated, beyond devastation. 361 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 1: He said some things to me that I will never 362 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,160 Speaker 1: forget or be able to forgive. I was in pre 363 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 1: term labor at twenty six weeks, which they were able 364 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 1: to stop. Wow, that's wild, that's what. But after four weeks, 365 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,880 Speaker 1: I'm still having a lot of complications and I may 366 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: have to deliver the baby early. Oh no, my husband 367 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,959 Speaker 1: has been nasty and uncooperative since we fought. He hasn't 368 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,439 Speaker 1: come back to see me in the hospital even once 369 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,440 Speaker 1: in four weeks. My life was incredible before all of this, 370 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 1: before I knew all about this. I wish I could go. 371 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 2: Back to that dude, and long heart goes out to 372 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 2: you go through complications with pregnancy, and as soon the. 373 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 1: Average term of a pregnancy, I know it's typically say 374 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: forty eight weeks on the top of the dome nine months. 375 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,919 Speaker 2: Weeks perhaps with no, no, no forty eight, I want to 376 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 2: say forty eight. 377 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 1: Nine months with four forty forty weeks dude, so wait, 378 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:05,439 Speaker 1: twenty six weeks. That's super premature. It's like, yeah, like 379 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 1: I feel like the baby would have to go. I 380 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: forget exactly what it's called, but like pre prenatal like 381 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,919 Speaker 1: intensive care, where it's like, hey, we basically need to 382 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 1: I mean, that's so scary. And the husband has any like, bro, 383 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: this is your child, Like, aren't you I think you 384 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 1: know what I think? I think now. At first we 385 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,439 Speaker 1: were there was kind of this benefit of giving the 386 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,080 Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt factor with like there were like 387 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: nice things that the husband did. But now I feel 388 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 1: like it's true. True colors are coming out, and like 389 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,479 Speaker 1: I just get the feeling like this guy was like 390 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,159 Speaker 1: praying on young women and like, you know, just trying 391 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 1: to like get with these you know, young girls. I 392 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: bet I bet you this. I bet you The two 393 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 1: women he hooked up with were like really really young, 394 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: like an Ope's age, right, maybe even younger than Opie 395 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 1: should say what age they were? Dang, yeah, yeah, nobody. 396 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:57,120 Speaker 1: None of the real becomes anything mentioned the age. I'm 397 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,439 Speaker 1: shocked I don't know. I don't know. I just like 398 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 1: again it's it can totally happen, but yeah, just just 399 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: I sniff trouble, I smell trouble, and like I think 400 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: the maybe only silver lining that is kind of coming 401 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: out of this. I think Opie is now finally realizing 402 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: that like this guy is just bad news. Yeah, and 403 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: that like, don't give into the sunken cost fallacy. Cut it, 404 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,200 Speaker 1: you know. Now, now there's the issue of the child 405 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: and like maybe needing support financially, you know, time wise 406 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,959 Speaker 1: and stuff. But like other than that, as far as 407 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 1: you're like romantic relationship is concerned, just cut it and start, 408 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 1: you know, investing into yourself and your child, like screw it, 409 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: Like let's let's remove as much unnecessary bs as possible 410 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: because you're already going through all this stuff with the 411 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: baby and you know, and with the husband of course. 412 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know, what do you think, big 413 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 1: of protein, what do you got? 414 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 2: Yeah? She definitely was like trying to see the good 415 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 2: things and trying to keep her mind positive. Like yeah, 416 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,399 Speaker 2: and now to be to be. 417 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: Clear, and let's let's ask everyone here should get divorced. 418 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,640 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, right, he's not even co operating after the fire. 419 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 2: He's not putting any effort. He's not seeing you anymore. 420 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,679 Speaker 2: Of those nice things aren't happening anymore. He is not 421 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 2: invested in this relationship anymore. We're having a kid with you. 422 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 2: That's the vibes I'm getting. That's what he's giving off. Sorry, 423 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 2: it's it is gonna be tough, but gotta gotta divorce, 424 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 2: got it. 425 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:21,879 Speaker 1: Got it? 426 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 2: That's the best for you. 427 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, rip, rip the band aid off now, and then 428 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: that's that much sooner that you can start, you know, 429 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: pouring back into yourself and your baby and all that 430 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: good stuff. But speaking of pouring things, I got a 431 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: hot news story to pour all over your ear holes, dude. 432 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 2: I cannot wait. 433 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,239 Speaker 1: Let's do it. My wife cheated on me, so I 434 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: asked for a paternity test. She thinks I'm the a whole? 435 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,600 Speaker 1: Am I Riley? What do you think? 436 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 2: Nah? 437 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: Like? Bro? Like? 438 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,119 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, if the okay, you would be 439 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,640 Speaker 2: the a hole if the kids look exactly like you 440 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 2: and like they're and like they got the same nose shape. 441 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 1: It depends on the time. It depends on the timing. 442 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 1: Like did she did she cheat? Once? 443 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 2: Like ten years ago? And then you had kids three you. 444 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 1: No, no, not even ten years ago? Like did she 445 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: just cheat now? And your kids are like twenty And 446 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: then she's like and he's like yo, like oh. 447 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, because like she did now, she probably did twenty 448 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 2: years ago. 449 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, which would be his line of thinking. But then 450 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: it's like, is that I don't know? I know kind 451 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 1: of what. 452 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 2: Is the timing? Yeah, when were you? What's the time 453 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:29,880 Speaker 2: ano those screampos ago? 454 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 1: We need to know when did those pods get fresh 455 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: bag from the oven? Well, there's only one way to 456 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 1: find out. So this comes from throwaway one eight three, eight, 457 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: four oh four, And they say, me thirty two and 458 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,159 Speaker 1: my wife thirty have been married for eight years now. 459 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:51,199 Speaker 1: Rats three years ago she cheated no Congress with a 460 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 1: friend of hers, and after some time we managed to reconcile. 461 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,400 Speaker 1: She found out she was pregnant a few days ago. 462 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,479 Speaker 1: After my initial reaction was happiness. Then the thought that 463 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 1: it could be someone else's crawled into my mind. A 464 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: little dicey, it's a little dangerous. The thought that she's 465 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: done it before has popped into my head. When I 466 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: asked her to take a test and explained my reasoning, 467 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 1: we had a huge fight. She said that I shouldn't 468 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: hold that against her. After all the work we've done 469 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,879 Speaker 1: to repair the relationship, I still feel strongly about having 470 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,199 Speaker 1: a paternity test. And so we're getting into some updates. 471 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:33,440 Speaker 2: Do you think three years is a good enough time 472 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 2: to get that trust back? 473 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:40,600 Speaker 1: Yes? I do think so, And like I do think 474 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: it would be different if they've been in a relationship 475 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 1: for like, I don't know, ten or fifteen years, and 476 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,920 Speaker 1: like every three years she Geen did, and it's like, 477 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: all right, your time is due, the clock is running out. 478 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,360 Speaker 1: But if this was an isolated incident, if she did 479 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: do a lot of work over the past three years 480 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: to really better herself and most importantly not cheat on you, 481 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,920 Speaker 1: and you know you feel good about that, and it's 482 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,880 Speaker 1: been true work on your relationship that's been great. Might 483 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 1: be a little bit left field, might be a little 484 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,640 Speaker 1: bit too much. But we're going to get into this 485 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: next updates, aren't we, Riley? 486 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 2: Yes we are. 487 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 1: Wow, what great timing. So hello everyone. My last post 488 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 1: got a lot of attention, so I figured that I 489 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 1: should update you all some things to clear up. After 490 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,679 Speaker 1: my wife cheated. We have been in counseling. It's been 491 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,359 Speaker 1: a hard road for both of us, but we managed 492 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,719 Speaker 1: to build something new, so to speak. Also, we weren't 493 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 1: actively trying for a baby. We didn't do things such 494 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: as tracking her ovulation, but we've mostly had sex regularly 495 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: without protection. It's been like this for the past six months. 496 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,919 Speaker 2: Thanks for telling us, you've been raw dogging for the 497 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:53,879 Speaker 2: past six months. 498 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 1: Great, gotta love like, Oh, we're trying for a baby, 499 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,680 Speaker 1: you're just freaking raw dogging it. And no, we don't 500 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: have STDs. Good to know. We both wanted kids, but 501 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 1: since she cheated on me, that wasn't something we thought 502 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,439 Speaker 1: we should do for a while, at least not before 503 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: we reconciled. So that's a good point have in mind. Also, 504 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,359 Speaker 1: I tried to be as tactful as possible when I 505 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,520 Speaker 1: brought up the paternity test, but I think tactfulness can 506 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 1: only go so far when you're essentially accusing your wife 507 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,960 Speaker 1: of potentially cheating on you. And it went like this, Honey, 508 00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: we need to talk about the baby. 509 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,119 Speaker 2: What's wrong? 510 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,439 Speaker 1: Look, I just need some reassurance. I love you, but 511 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: I just can't shake this thought off of my head. 512 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,840 Speaker 1: What thought? I'm worried that it's not mine? After that 513 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:41,160 Speaker 1: things got louder and we had a fight. We're getting 514 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:45,160 Speaker 1: into our next update. I would suggest a more tactful 515 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 1: way to go about it, Like, I mean again. 516 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 2: What is the most tactful way? 517 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 1: I would say, like leading with like, look, you know 518 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:56,440 Speaker 1: we had the cheating incident was three years ago. We've 519 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 1: both put in a lot of work. You've put in 520 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,439 Speaker 1: a lot of hard work. I want to recognize that. 521 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,119 Speaker 1: I want to wreckcognize everything that you've been doing, and 522 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: I'm I'm happy and I'm grateful that you've put in 523 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,359 Speaker 1: this work and happy and grateful that we've like reached 524 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,240 Speaker 1: this place. This might be an irrational thought. I could 525 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,200 Speaker 1: be completely off my rocker. I could be completely insecure, 526 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,399 Speaker 1: but I do have a sneaking suspicion or I do 527 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 1: have this intrusive thought nagging me that I can't really 528 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: get out of my head that you know, maybe you 529 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:25,359 Speaker 1: cheated again. 530 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 2: That's pretty tactful, okay, but still yeah, honestly I get 531 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 2: a little hate for this one. 532 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:32,640 Speaker 1: Let's go. 533 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 2: She deserves to give him an attorney test. She messed 534 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 2: up a while ago. They have work through it. I 535 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 2: feel like a way to like, you know, be like, hey, 536 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,679 Speaker 2: I'm in the clear. Yeah, because they need Like he 537 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,360 Speaker 2: has a concern, he's having some things. He wants those 538 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,560 Speaker 2: thoughts to go away. The best way to do that 539 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 2: is to go through this. Yes, it is humiliating, but 540 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,160 Speaker 2: you just got to get over you just got to get. 541 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,639 Speaker 1: Over that fact you're saying. You're saying, like sheows that 542 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: to him, she should have done it premptively, or now 543 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: that he's like bringing up to the concern. 544 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think that's the best case scenario. She 545 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 2: passed up before. This is the only way to get 546 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,119 Speaker 2: rid of those thoughts. 547 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: I do hear what you're saying, because it's not like 548 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:14,760 Speaker 1: like we've tragically read so many stories guys that like 549 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 1: where they get these dumb ideas, Like I mean it's 550 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 1: like ANDU tate like red pill rabbit holes, or like 551 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,760 Speaker 1: my cousin Bob had this happen to him, so like 552 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,119 Speaker 1: I know, I just know it, you know, or like 553 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 1: I just had the sneaking I had the sneaking feeling 554 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,400 Speaker 1: and I just know it's right. And then they accuse 555 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,679 Speaker 1: that's a very different story than this she did. Actually 556 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,600 Speaker 1: she yeah, and we talked about it. You know, it 557 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,159 Speaker 1: is it is. I will say it is this like 558 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: really awkward period because I think I think if it 559 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: was like any time within like a year, like maybe 560 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: a little over year, that's much grounds for much more 561 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:54,760 Speaker 1: suspicion on Opie's part. But it has been three years. Yeah, 562 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 1: it's not. It's not like ten years where it's like 563 00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,520 Speaker 1: this is we we're so far beyond that point. And 564 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 1: like if Opie's wife had just a squeaky cleaner record 565 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: for ten years, then it's kind of like, Okay, I 566 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,439 Speaker 1: think you were the ahle at that point. But it 567 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: is this weird middle ground, h of like they are 568 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,919 Speaker 1: kind of out of the woods. But it was also 569 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: kind of not too long ago. 570 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:23,160 Speaker 2: As Sam would say, couples get one cheating every four. 571 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: Years, Sam's golden rule, and it's only been three. So 572 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,680 Speaker 1: maybe she's maybe she's due for her for next. Maybe 573 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,200 Speaker 1: she tried to get her next one year early. 574 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 2: Oh I can't do that. I wish I knew. I 575 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:36,440 Speaker 2: wish I could know more. 576 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: Well, we can know more by reading this next update. 577 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 1: After our fight, I slept in the other room nice 578 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 1: and we didn't really talk for a while. We waved 579 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 1: goodbye when we went to work and had small talk 580 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 1: about our days, but didn't really address what we thought about. 581 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: She eventually came to me and apologized for her reaction. 582 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 1: She says, she understands why I asked her for a 583 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: paternity test, okay, and she got mad because she thought 584 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: the whole cheating thing was over and we wouldn't need 585 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: to ever bring it up again. 586 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's she said. 587 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: She was mad because it's made her realize that this 588 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: is something that will always be a part of our 589 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: relationship's history. And it reminded her of how much an 590 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 1: effect this had on me and how much she hurt me. 591 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,640 Speaker 1: And she told me she was mad at herself. She 592 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 1: says she hates the fact that she gave me a 593 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 1: good reason to ask for it. We simply hugged it 594 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: out after that. So she agreed to take the paternity test. Riley, 595 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: she's she took your advice. Wow, she's gonna make it happen. 596 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:35,760 Speaker 2: They're going to make it happen. 597 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,400 Speaker 1: But from some research we made, it seems to be 598 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: a bit early for one, But we'll schedule a doctor 599 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 1: visit and see what we can do. I'll be honest, 600 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: I think the paternity test is just a formality now. 601 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: But I still want it for my own peace of mind. 602 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: I do love my wife and want us to start 603 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 1: building a family, and I do thank you for all 604 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: your responses. 605 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 2: Wow. 606 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 1: Speaking of responses, a quick relevant comment, what are you 607 00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 1: going to do if it's not yours? 608 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 2: This is the big question. 609 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: Why didn't Why did I not think about this? If 610 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,240 Speaker 1: the kid isn't mine, then I will leave. I made 611 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: my mind up on that before I even asked her 612 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: for the test, which I mean, can you blame him? Especially? 613 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 1: It would be so bad if at this point like 614 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: it wasn't and the wife was like, how could you 615 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: be mad at me? They're like, okay, I'll be. But 616 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 1: I feel like if she did, she would be going 617 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: through the gold level mental gymnastics to try and flip 618 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: and avoid getting the paternity test. Yeah, I'm on the 619 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 1: same She'd be like, ohth like a paternity test, Like 620 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 1: if we do that, then like that destroys all the 621 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: work that we've done for three years. And so it 622 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: seems like she's like, yeah, I'm down for the pratornity test. 623 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 2: Cooperative. 624 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's cooperative. It's giving innocent, and I think OP 625 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 1: is picking up on that as well. I'm picking up 626 00:30:55,840 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 1: on that as well, so, but I think until until 627 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,120 Speaker 1: the rooster crows poster cross. So let's get into the 628 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 1: final update. 629 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 2: Is it his or is it not? 630 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 1: Hello? Everyone? I posted here a few weeks ago and 631 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 1: got a lot of people commenting on both posts, so 632 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,480 Speaker 1: I figured I should update. So we waited a few 633 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 1: weeks before the test and the results came in. 634 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,000 Speaker 2: I'm not even looking, I'm not even looking. 635 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: And well the child is in fact mine. 636 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 2: Oh good, Oh I was so worried. Safe, Oh oly, 637 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 2: good happy family got it happy. We are going to 638 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 2: hold hands, singing songs. 639 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,000 Speaker 1: Sing Kumbaya. Besides that, there's not much to tell. My 640 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 1: wife has been very accommodating and has not got angry 641 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: at me over this. We are both very excited to 642 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: be parents. Also, to those of you who asked me 643 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 1: to wait until the baby is born, how the f 644 00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 1: am I supposed to do that? I'm I mean you can. 645 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,760 Speaker 1: I think I think we've read there are potentially complications 646 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: of doing paternity tests before the child was born, and 647 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,720 Speaker 1: there were some people, like even the people asking for 648 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 1: the tests, that were like, oh I don't want to 649 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,800 Speaker 1: risk it or whatever. So I think there's some level 650 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 1: of risk extent of which I am not sure. But 651 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,600 Speaker 1: not only you think I should lie to my wife, 652 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,560 Speaker 1: but also you expect my wife not to notice that 653 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: the birth certificate lacks my signature, and that is the 654 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: end wow of that story. 655 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 2: Honestly, I have not seen many of these. They worked out, 656 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:36,880 Speaker 2: they look like happy parents. 657 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 1: Now, I honestly think that this is like all things 658 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 1: considered solved. Yeah, because you know, it seems like, you know, 659 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,040 Speaker 1: while initially there was some pushback that op eventually realized. 660 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 1: I mean he literally got the paternity test. Yeah, yeah, 661 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 1: she's innocent. You know, she wasn't cheating. And also I 662 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 1: think this is actually a good wake up call on 663 00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 1: kind of a sweet thing for the wife because she 664 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,719 Speaker 1: was like, wow, like this thing that I did still 665 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 1: hurts you, and like I do honestly, you know what, 666 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 1: Oh one moment, I will give the wife of green 667 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: flag for that, because you know, she had she had 668 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,400 Speaker 1: a few of these. Whoa, Okay, she had a few 669 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,400 Speaker 1: of these. She had a few of these, right, But 670 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 1: in this instance, I'm going to give her the green 671 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,000 Speaker 1: flag because she really sat back and reflected and chose 672 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 1: empathy and saw that, wow, this is hurting my husband. 673 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: So much, so let me do what Riley said earlier 674 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 1: in the story, which was like, let me do the 675 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 1: paternity test and like like lean into it to make 676 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 1: sure my husband knows I have nothing to hide. I 677 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 1: want to suage his worry and all of that good stuff. 678 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:51,120 Speaker 1: So I feel like in a way this kind of 679 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 1: made a little closer. They got through this definitely, definitely. 680 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: I think this is like you know, a storm that 681 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 1: you come out stronger from, for sure, or like what 682 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:04,440 Speaker 1: iron weld's strength, pressure makes diamonds. There we go, Yes, 683 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: pressure turns diamonds, mud rocks into diamonds. I am saying nonsense. 684 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,920 Speaker 1: It is late at night. It is almost eleven thirty. 685 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, we love these late night We love the. 686 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: Late night sessions. Guys. We are grinding out here for you. 687 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 1: But you know what, if you love us, make sure 688 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 1: to subscribe and we love you and see you tomorrow.