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Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Ugh, if I fall asleep, it's because how are you

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Speaker 2: doing and how have you how are you standing? Welcome

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Speaker 2: back Kramer for your European adventure. I feel like you

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Speaker 2: were gone a month.

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Speaker 1: It was definitely, I mean it was. Jason just asked,

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Speaker 1: He's like, Mommy, how long was that? And it was

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Speaker 1: because you know, you gotta you lose a night whying. Yep,

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Speaker 1: So technically it was let's see, I left Tuesday, So Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

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Speaker 2: It was six sleeps. That's a lot of sleep. That's

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Speaker 2: a lot of sleeps. But it was it looked incredible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so flying there, I just cannot sleep on a plane.

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Speaker 2: I hate it. For you, Preston can't either. You can

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Speaker 2: sleep on a plane. Oh sometimes before we even take off.

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Speaker 1: Are you serious?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: And I yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think it's because it's the.

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Speaker 1: Only wild to me, because you, I know, you are

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Speaker 1: anxiously like going away from me when you have kids.

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Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, it's weird, but I think I also

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Speaker 2: it's like the only time in life where you just

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Speaker 2: are there's no other choice to be where you are.

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Speaker 1: That is very true.

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Speaker 2: And so it's like I call it cloud quiet, and

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Speaker 2: I just am like, Okay, well here we go. I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's nothing I can do to change where I'm at.

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Speaker 1: That's very true.

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Speaker 2: I'm not late for anything, true, I mean there it is. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I just get cozy. No, that's listen, that's that's

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Speaker 2: a really good point. I might steal that. And I'm

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Speaker 2: too I'm too afraid to take anything. Oh, granted, I

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Speaker 2: have the xanax on me. I will always have xanax

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Speaker 2: on me, But the why are we this? But I

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Speaker 2: never take it. I don't. I'll have a full panic attack.

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Speaker 2: It's an emotion.

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Speaker 1: Take it.

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Speaker 2: It's an emotional support.

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Speaker 1: My water bottle. It's like a water and a xanax.

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Speaker 1: And I'm good, like just to just to no, I

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Speaker 1: have it.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: But someone had said melatonin, but I've never even taken

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Speaker 1: melotonin before.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's tricky. I've learned a lot about melatonin and

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Speaker 2: cortisol and like our natural levels, and if you mess

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Speaker 2: with melatonin when you're not supposed to, then it can

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Speaker 2: be like tricky for your body and like have the

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Speaker 2: reverse effect. Maybe I don't know. I just also don't

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Speaker 2: want to be the one that like is just like

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Speaker 2: drooling and tongue out on a plane because I took

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Speaker 2: something like I have a friend who's like, oh, I

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Speaker 2: take this ambient and then I take this amount and

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Speaker 2: I just get the best nap of my life and

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Speaker 2: I wake up in Paris and I'm like, how well,

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Speaker 2: so that's the thing. So okay.

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Speaker 1: So the first flight was to JFK and then it

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Speaker 1: was then JFK to Paris and we had about a

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Speaker 1: four hour layover in JFK and then to Paris. It

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Speaker 1: was just so I've never flown Jet Blue, I say,

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Speaker 1: take the back, I've flown Jet Blue. I've never flown

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Speaker 1: Jet Blue Mint, so I didn't really had a mint

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Speaker 1: their first class Oh cute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So it's just it's just like as it's not as

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Speaker 1: good as like a the other first class, but it's

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Speaker 1: light on flat so it's still really nice, incredible. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know this was the thing.

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Speaker 1: It was the most inexpensive option. When I was looking

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Speaker 1: at the stuff, and I I'm fine to not fly

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Speaker 1: first class, but when it's past five hours, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I really got to have a comfy seat. I would agree,

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Speaker 1: I just get a little too claustrophobic for that long

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Speaker 1: of something. So the you know, the plane was great,

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Speaker 1: All of that was awesome, but it's like everybody is

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Speaker 1: sleeping around me, and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: How do you guys do it?

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Speaker 1: I really wanted to like take someone's ear thing on.

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Speaker 2: Me, like, so like tell me your thought process right now?

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Speaker 2: What are you thinking of?

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, I've got my husband's snoring in

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Speaker 1: the pod next to me, and everyone's just like out

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Speaker 1: and I'm like watching PS I Love You for the

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Speaker 1: threieth time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, good and predictable.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's like it just wanted like a little

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Speaker 1: feel good thing. So watching that, having tea and then

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Speaker 1: of course every time, like right when I land, that's

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Speaker 1: when I want to fall asleep.

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Speaker 2: You and love have that in common. Got oh yeah

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Speaker 2: since birth. The last fifteen minutes she's out, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: awesome on like an alligator. Yeah for four hours.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, So we get to Paris and I okay,

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Speaker 1: like I said before, I've never been was so excited

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Speaker 1: to go and.

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Speaker 2: Tell me when you're landing, did you get to see

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Speaker 2: the Eiffel Tower? No, okay, okay, this is great.

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Speaker 1: It was pretty kind of looked like Franklin, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: it was really green. Yeah yeah, far me. So I

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Speaker 1: have loves about Paris and I have dislikes about Paris.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm interested. So you know, I'm just smitten with Paris.

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Speaker 2: I'm that American girl. Yeah, well so everyone. And when

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Speaker 2: we're doing the convention, it was like, you know, how

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Speaker 2: did you find your time here? And I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: love Paris, but I have two little asterisks. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So first day we get there, it's kind of

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Speaker 1: a wash, so tired even like things straight. We walked

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Speaker 1: around the Louver outdoor walking area, beautiful. Alan had to

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Speaker 1: do some work stuff, so I just kind of sat

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Speaker 1: by a little pond and had a croissant and just

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Speaker 1: started talking to the random people next to me. With

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Speaker 1: one girl was like reading a book and I'm that

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Speaker 1: person like you.

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Speaker 2: Are, like everyone's nightmare. I know, people sleeping on first class. Hey,

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Speaker 2: so hi, I was just wondering people reading a book. Hey,

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Speaker 2: you mean the little bookmark comes in, I'm gonna earmark

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Speaker 2: this page for you. But I have a quick question.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know why, I just and

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Speaker 1: it was really nice. I sat there for at least

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Speaker 1: ten minutes quiet by myself. But then I'm just like

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Speaker 1: the American girl sitting in a thing with so I

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Speaker 1: just like look over to the person to my left

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Speaker 1: and was like, is that a good book?

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Speaker 2: Why why leave her alone? They're like, I don't know

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Speaker 2: because I don't get to read it because I'm talking

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Speaker 2: to the American and I having a question.

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Speaker 1: Meanwhile, I'm having like a predam anger person like that

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Speaker 1: I need to go. Yeah, and I was I'm like,

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Speaker 1: should have gone to like an actual bakery, but it

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Speaker 1: was the first thing that I saw, so when and

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Speaker 1: you know, she was actually really sweet. She was also visiting,

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Speaker 1: and so talked to her for a little bit. And

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Speaker 1: then my girl to my right was like, would you

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Speaker 1: take a picture of me, uh looking natural?

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Speaker 2: And I said, of course, I'm really good at that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's great.

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Speaker 1: So I liked to the photo for her, and then

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Speaker 1: you know, walked back to the hotel. Stayed at a

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Speaker 1: beautiful place called Intercontinental LaGrande. It was right across the

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Speaker 1: street from the Opera whatever house, so that was there,

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Speaker 1: and then Thursday was our big walking tour. We had

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Speaker 1: like the most amazing guide ever. His name Mate Martin

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Speaker 1: and I was like, that's my dad's name. But he

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Speaker 1: was great. I mean we walked about thirty thousand steps, great,

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Speaker 1: walked just everywhere. And I'll never forget the moment that

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Speaker 1: I just like, you look up and you like see

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Speaker 1: the Eiffel Tower, I will bring out cry and I

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Speaker 1: got teary eyed. I did.

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Speaker 2: I can cry thinking about it. Yeah. I think there's

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Speaker 2: something special about us waiting this long to see it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She was curvier than I thought. She was just stunning. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I wouldn't look. We were in London, took the

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Speaker 2: train to Paris, so I didn't and pressing kept going,

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Speaker 2: it's out the right window and I was like, I

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Speaker 2: don't make eye contacts like I wanted the moment. And

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Speaker 2: I was so proud of myself for waiting because we

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Speaker 2: turned a street corner and there she was. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's burned into my brain. Yeah, and it's just magical.

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Speaker 2: And then like you know, he was saying how the

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Speaker 2: whole history behind it and when it was being built

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Speaker 2: and just you know, all of it. So it just

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Speaker 2: learns so much about that. But we walked around and

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Speaker 2: just saw everything and it was so magical. Uh, Mona

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Speaker 2: Lisa was a lot smaller than I thought. I've heard

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Speaker 2: that about her. Yeah, it was kind of like, okay,

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Speaker 2: yeah we missed. We actually didn't get to see money.

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Speaker 1: Go to the loof.

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Speaker 2: Well it was closed by the time we got there.

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Speaker 2: We had like the best non scheduled day and Harris

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Speaker 2: of my life. Yeah, and the memories are awesome, but

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Speaker 2: remember we got there and we're like, we don't get

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Speaker 2: to see her like next time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Martin was great though, because it was he really

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Speaker 1: because I was like, listen, I appreciate museums, I really do,

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Speaker 1: but can you just show me the highlights like that? Also,

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Speaker 1: like I could like four hours in the loof you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I mean he just kind of really took us

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Speaker 1: to like this sculpture, but up up and we're like

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Speaker 1: we're out, Like it's nice.

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Speaker 2: It's like when you go to those museums, you know

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Speaker 2: when people do power points and they just read you

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Speaker 2: the power points and you're.

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Speaker 1: Like I can do that, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, so

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Speaker 1: that was magical. I mean that was probably my favorite day,

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Speaker 1: was just walking the city, I mean from just these

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Speaker 1: random side streets to where you know, the great artists

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Speaker 1: lived and I mean it was just like it was

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Speaker 1: so special, so so special at a great dinner that night.

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Speaker 1: And then the next day it was a rainy day,

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Speaker 1: so that was kind of a bummer. We did go

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Speaker 1: to Versailles and the gardens, but the rain kind of

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Speaker 1: dampened the parade a bit, quite literally, quite literally. And

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Speaker 1: then the other two days were the One Tree Hill Convention,

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Speaker 1: which I just I needed blown away.

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Speaker 2: It looked electric from Instagram. I was just following along

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Speaker 2: blown away. I mean, how many people that were there,

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Speaker 2: and how excited they were, and how just like kind

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Speaker 2: they were. Is okay for hug for photo And I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: of course is in America. We don't even ask you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but i mean just they were. They were so kind,

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Speaker 1: so welcoming, just so happy that we were there, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, thank you for having us here, you know.

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Speaker 1: But it was I mean, it was definitely a long day.

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Speaker 2: When was the last time you were with your full cast?

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Speaker 1: Well, i mean not everyone was there, so like we

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Speaker 1: were amazing, Like, yeah, but this was a big one.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we do the One Tree Hill conventions in Wilmington,

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Speaker 1: but this was definitely more of kind of cast altogether.

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Speaker 1: So that was you know it was. It was nice

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Speaker 1: and it's it's, uh, you kind of pick up where you,

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Speaker 1: you know, leave off left off, and Chantella and I

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Speaker 1: are really really close, so it was nice to just

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Speaker 1: have like one on one with her and her guy

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Speaker 1: and so that was that was really really nice. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean they were just amazing and so wonderful. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean we started meeting greets at eight am and

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Speaker 1: we wrapped at seven thirty and it's like two fifteen

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Speaker 1: minute breaks.

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Speaker 2: Wild. Was this Allen's first like real One Tree Hill

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Speaker 2: event convention? He's just like wow, I wondered, and he

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Speaker 2: would be taken back mind blown, like how many people?

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Speaker 2: He's like, baby, you have so many people that like

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Speaker 2: love you, and like that's right. It was just that's great,

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Speaker 2: Like it's so weird, you know, it's it's so weird too,

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Speaker 2: but because it's part of who like, that's what's so

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Speaker 2: crazy to me. It's like, I it was a real

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Speaker 2: best friend convention. Confession. I've never even seen an episode

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Speaker 2: of One Job, so I think it was just because

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Speaker 2: it was younger than me. But I see it when

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Speaker 2: we go wind down out on tour and how many

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Speaker 2: One Tree hillers.

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Speaker 1: Come oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it is a loyal fan base and they're incredible,

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Speaker 2: but it's such a piece of who you are, but

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Speaker 2: it's not a piece of who you are that I knew,

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Speaker 2: so I remember, but I don't like. That's why I

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Speaker 2: thought this has to be really cool for Allan.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was just again like that's why I

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Speaker 1: always think my one Tree Hillars anywhere we go. It's

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Speaker 1: like they're so loyal, they're so kind and loving and

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Speaker 1: they just spill your heart, you know, their hearts to you,

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Speaker 1: and it's just they're lovely humans. So I am so

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Speaker 1: just so thankful. I hope you know I can come

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Speaker 1: I come back. But here's my two asterisks. Okay, too

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Speaker 1: much smoke. A lot of smoking in Paris. Yeah, they

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Speaker 1: just have not They're still tried and true. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: like sitting because you know, y'all want to sit outside

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Speaker 1: in these little cafes and then it's just getting a

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Speaker 1: big whiff of like yeah, and it's kind of constant.

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Speaker 1: It's constant. Wed one time, we like move different places,

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Speaker 1: but it just kept following and I'm all right, and

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Speaker 1: then you kind of just get used to it. But

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Speaker 1: it's just a lot of smoke, I would agree, a

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Speaker 1: lot of smoke.

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Speaker 2: I blocked that out.

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Speaker 1: And then the food is not great, Shanna, I don't

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Speaker 1: think the food is that. I think Italian food is better.

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Speaker 1: We found a really sweet Italian spot though, okay we

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Speaker 1: did too. That's the sweet spot, I think. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I mean I had facaca every night, yes, and oh

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Speaker 1: I ate. I mean I had like two croissants to day.

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Speaker 1: I had, you know, I would walk around with like

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Speaker 1: a baguette in the street. I had you know, facaca

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Speaker 1: at night. But I just the French food. I just

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Speaker 1: when I said, we did go to a proper French

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Speaker 1: cuisine and I just didn't. I didn't love it as much.

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Speaker 1: A lot of butter, a lot of you know, lots

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Speaker 1: of butter, some saucy stuff. I just didn't love. But

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Speaker 1: there was We did go to this restaurant called Giraffe,

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Speaker 1: which I've gotta say I was really disappointed in. Is

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Speaker 1: that like the that's like a really good one to

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Speaker 1: go to, according to really pretty but they say you

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Speaker 1: get like the best view of the Eiffel Tower. There's

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Speaker 1: one seat, like it's a good view of the Eiffel Tower.

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Speaker 2: Is it the one that's across the river.

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Speaker 1: I think it's by the Trocadera, which is where we

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Speaker 1: went to go see the Eiffel Tower at night the

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Speaker 1: very last night, which was magical because I didn't see

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Speaker 1: So what I wanted to do is I wanted to

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Speaker 1: see the Eiffel Tower at night my last night. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I just wanted to like tie up the

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Speaker 1: trip with like a bow. And so I hadn't seen

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Speaker 1: the light show or anything like that. I only seen

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Speaker 1: it like during the day, and I like legit teared

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Speaker 1: up again.

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Speaker 2: I could literally cry right now. It's so it's magical.

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Speaker 2: We stayed I cannot wait till I come back. That

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Speaker 2: had a view of the Eiffel Tower. But the way

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Speaker 2: that our bed in the hotel room was was you

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Speaker 2: could see it like at the foot of the bed,

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Speaker 2: but you couldn't see it if you laid down properly. And

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Speaker 2: so we flip flopped all our blankets and pillows and

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Speaker 2: I fell asleep staring like I could cry. I was.

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Speaker 2: I honestly think there's moments in life where heaven swirls.

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Speaker 2: Have I told you? I think heavens swirls. It's not

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Speaker 2: a up or down No, I think that they're swirling heaven,

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Speaker 2: and I think there's moments where we get to it

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Speaker 2: makes me emotional, but there's moments where we get to

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Speaker 2: feel what it will feel like there, and I think

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Speaker 2: that's when we drive through it, or some nights at

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Speaker 2: the baseball field. I had one at the baseball field

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Speaker 2: where I was walking in the car alone, which was

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Speaker 2: a moment in itself, but I could just hear the

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Speaker 2: faint sounds and like the smell, and like I just

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Speaker 2: was like, I think you can walk through it. And

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Speaker 2: that was one of those times for me. I think

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Speaker 2: it's just if you have wanted to see Paris. And

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Speaker 2: it's funny because one of my best friends can't stand Paris.

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Speaker 2: He travels all the time.

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Speaker 1: What does this say?

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Speaker 2: He doesn't like about it. I think it's maybe too

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Speaker 2: typical for him. I think he's out. He's like a

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Speaker 2: very adventurer guy, but he loves big cities. He loves

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Speaker 2: Thailand and he goes everywhere. Yeah, but he just say like, oh, Paris,

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Speaker 2: I can skip And I'm like, so interesting.

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Speaker 1: I find it so magical. I could also do without

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Speaker 1: the traffic though too. Like after the convention, it was

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Speaker 1: about what would normally take a thirty minute trip there

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Speaker 1: at night. It took us almost two hours every night,

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Speaker 1: so like we're starving. Oh yeah, dinner at like nine

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Speaker 1: o'clock at night, you know what I mean. It was

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Speaker 1: just like your clock's already off anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I just I find it magical and I

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Speaker 1: look forward to hopefully being able to come back for

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Speaker 1: another convention and then maybe trying different restaurants.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: A rich history, I think is also really cool. I

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Speaker 1: just the architecture fascinating. There's so many things that I

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Speaker 1: didn't get to do too, Like I really want to

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Speaker 1: go to Normandy. I want to take a train out there.

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Speaker 1: You know. I didn't really get to hang out long

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Speaker 1: at the Shomps Schumps whatever it's called. It's the big

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Speaker 1: shopping area. It was just raining too much, so I

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Speaker 1: ended up leaving. But but pretty it was so great.

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Speaker 1: We did the lock bridge when we were there, so

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Speaker 1: do you know what happened?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? We locked again? You locked again? Yeah, they had

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Speaker 2: taken it all down. I was like, this is the

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Speaker 2: bridge and they were all gone, uh huh.

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Speaker 1: But we started so our guide Martin, was talking about that,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, what if like this poor sweet man

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Speaker 1: like put a lock of like wife that was like

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Speaker 1: her dream because she was dying or something, and then

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Speaker 1: just throw your locks away. It's really wild because we

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Speaker 1: like actually had two keys and we're like, we're going

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Speaker 1: to give the kids a key and once they get

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Speaker 1: to a certain age we want like had this big

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Speaker 1: thing where it's like when we die, they come back

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Speaker 1: and they find the lock, like are are making them

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Speaker 1: go to Paris as like siblings. Wow, I know, but

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Speaker 1: it's not going to work because it's gone. There is

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Speaker 1: a new lock bridge though, yes, yeah, but it's but

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Speaker 1: the locks were getting too heavy apparently.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it really is a lot of weight if

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Speaker 2: you think about it. But I thought, can you just

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Speaker 2: move them somewhere? Like could you? I know? But that's less.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. We needed to lock though. It was

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Speaker 2: like a really meaningful yea and lock. Yeah you could

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Speaker 2: lock next time. I would like to, yeah, this time, like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you got to see a bunch of stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely look. Yeah, I really look forward to

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Speaker 1: hopefully going back again because I just loved every second

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Speaker 1: of it.

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Speaker 2: I just think there's something too when you're seeing a

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Speaker 2: new city and you have such a grateful heart. You know,

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Speaker 2: I think there's something about being hopeless romantic for a city.

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Speaker 2: I still feel that way about Nashville, even though I'm

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Speaker 2: in a toxic relationship with it in its traffic. But

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Speaker 2: when we land, like I try to just always soak

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Speaker 2: up the fact that, like little thirteen year old me

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Speaker 2: circuling singles off of cassette tapes, you know, gets to

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Speaker 2: know country music and music city. That's pretty awesome. So

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Speaker 2: I think when you can go into any city and

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Speaker 2: have that, it's just amazing. I feel that way, silly,

377
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Speaker 2: feel that way about Chicago. I love Chicago. She's always

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Speaker 2: been tried and true for me. Just really sweet and

379
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Speaker 2: great memories, and that's fun. I like that you have Paris,

380
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Speaker 2: You'll always have Paris. That'd be fun to do a

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Speaker 2: girls trip to Paris. Oh would it ever?

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Speaker 1: Would it ever? That would be really fun. Do you

383
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Speaker 1: got anything to whine about?

384
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Speaker 2: This is silly, But I know somewhere someone right in

385
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Speaker 2: this moment is going, yeah, girl, me too, So I

386
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Speaker 2: might just say it. Do it? Why do I wait

387
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Speaker 2: till the last minute to get gas? Damn it? Cramer?

388
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Speaker 2: I was I get in? Do you know? I literally

389
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Speaker 2: get in my car today. It's just been a whirlwind week.

390
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Speaker 2: We've traveled twice this week so and we travel this

391
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Speaker 2: weekend to Chicago. Actually, one of my very sweet and

392
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Speaker 2: most amazing friends is getting married for the first time

393
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Speaker 2: in her life. They've been together twenty years. Wow, and

394
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Speaker 2: she looks stunning in her dress. And I'm so excited

395
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Speaker 2: and it's like gonna be just a really beautiful union.

396
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Speaker 2: I'm excited for her. But I got in the car

397
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Speaker 2: and driving here uh huh. And I give myself a

398
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Speaker 2: great buffer of time to get to you. I like

399
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Speaker 2: to just be early here. Whenever my husband or kids

400
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Speaker 2: are not involved, I'm usually early, which is a lovely

401
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Speaker 2: thing for me. So I was like, okay, I'll just

402
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Speaker 2: hop in. I get in and I have nineteen miles

403
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 2: to empty and to get to you is eighteen. Well

404
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 2: that works out. But how do I get gas once

405
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Speaker 2: I'm here? And I did what I always hate, which

406
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Speaker 2: is just put twenty in en roll I stop like NASCAR.

407
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: Yes, it's like five and out.

408
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Speaker 2: I hate it, but I did. That is why I

409
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Speaker 2: now have an electric car, because that's how much I

410
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Speaker 2: just like getting gas. Because my jeep Cherokee would be like,

411
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Speaker 2: you need gas. It doesn't tell you how many miles,

412
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Speaker 2: which is why I ran out of gas that one day.

413
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Speaker 2: Oh mine definitely tells me and she's like, are you

414
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Speaker 2: paying attention? You're all fifteen. I've just never liked getting

415
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Speaker 2: gas ever in my life.

416
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Speaker 1: I really truly like why, I'll despise it. It's it's

417
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Speaker 1: time wasted and it doesn't even take that long. No,

418
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Speaker 1: but it's like dirty and.

419
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Speaker 2: So first world.

420
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Speaker 1: I just I naturally not having to get gas is

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Speaker 1: the greatest feeling I know.

422
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Speaker 2: It makes me want to go electric. It's electric. I

423
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Speaker 2: come to the dark side. I can't. I can't keep

424
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Speaker 2: my phone charge. How would I keep a vehicle charge?

425
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Speaker 2: That's the thing.

426
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Speaker 1: One day I didn't get it charged and I got screwed.

427
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Speaker 2: Yeah, because then you're then what.

428
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Speaker 1: But typically I don't drive that much, so it's fine, Okay,

429
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Speaker 1: Well that's a good one. So you just did twenty

430
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Speaker 1: and out, I mean a pit crew I was, I

431
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 1: was working for NASCAR. You would have been so proud

432
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Speaker 1: of me.

433
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Speaker 2: I I was just I'm very inspired by the NASCAR roots.

434
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,199
Speaker 2: I got really excited. But twenty and out got it

435
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 2: here and I have to fill up later this week.

436
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,639
Speaker 2: Mad at myself. I gotta be honest with you. I

437
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 2: had a wine about it right before you started, and

438
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,440
Speaker 2: I'm so tired.

439
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 1: I forgot.

440
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 2: Oh I needed to come back. I shouldn't use gas

441
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 2: as much. Oh no, that was good.

442
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 1: No, I mean like I'm glad. I just am like

443
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,359
Speaker 1: having said.

444
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 2: Hey, you know, we forgot to mention kitkats not here.

445
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dang, yes, and two of us we can

446
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 2: like it. I let you take it them.

447
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,560
Speaker 1: So she's at the beach.

448
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,920
Speaker 2: I know. I'm excited for her break. Yep.

449
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: This We are headed there tomorrow. So how are you doing?

450
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: What you're doing? This is wild? Well, you know, I

451
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 1: was going to bring everyone to Paris, but it was

452
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: going to be too expensive because yeah, it's fall break time, right,

453
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: and not even that, It's just I wanted to do

454
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: something with the kiddos or fall break, and we love

455
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,439
Speaker 1: going to Florida. So I just figured, Okay, we're going

456
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: to come back, enjoy Paris on the front end, do

457
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 1: my work, come back, pit stop, do laundry, grab the

458
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: kids and go to the beach. Because just because I'm

459
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 1: tired doesn't mean they need to enjoy their little travel trip.

460
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 2: I fear for you is that. For me, it was

461
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 2: two or three days after arrival back in the United

462
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 2: States that it really started to get me. Yeah, it's fine.

463
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 2: You're a little bit of a rock star that way though.

464
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 2: It's all good. It's great. Who needs sleep?

465
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,440
Speaker 1: Hey, you know what's on the rise? Grey divorce is

466
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: on the rise in relationship experts think this is why.

467
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 2: Tell us about grey divorce.

468
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 1: So while you might be familiar with the often rough

469
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,919
Speaker 1: friend statistic that fifty percent of marriages, that's depressing, and

470
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: in divorce, you may not know when those breakups most

471
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: often happen. Turns out great divorces aka splits after age

472
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 1: fifty have more than doubled in recent years. This doesn't

473
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: surprise me. Some boomers who married young got divorced in

474
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 1: the seventies and getting divorced again because second marriages tend

475
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: to be less stable. If you're divorced once, your norm

476
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: about marriage, marriage and the idea that you have to

477
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: stay in it till death of this part is already

478
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: a little bit weaker. So yeah, I mean, and if

479
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: you think about it, Nicole Kimani Keith Aurbin which for

480
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:43,959
Speaker 1: divorce Lori Laughlin and her husband, Yeah, I mean, I

481
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:49,719
Speaker 1: was definitely shocked when I saw that, but also knowing

482
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: certain things too, it was like, okay, I could you

483
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 1: know again, knowing every knowing anything about marriage, you can

484
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: go okay, because marriage is hard.

485
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 2: It is hard. It's wild because I was on the

486
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 2: way here today and I was thinking, like, how many

487
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 2: friends I have. I don't even know how much we

488
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 2: even need to go into this, but you tell me.

489
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 2: I just there is like, listen, President and I have

490
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: had really really hard times in marriage, really hard times.

491
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 2: And it's interesting to me because there are I'm not excusing,

492
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 2: like Okay, let's go like, this is not a safety issue.

493
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 2: When I say this, I'd say emotional safety is a thing,

494
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 2: but this is not a like physical safety issue. But

495
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 2: how quickly people are too. It's like people expect marriage

496
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,959
Speaker 2: to be perfect, and if someone makes a mistake then

497
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 2: it's an automatic out right. And there's something to be

498
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 2: said for the people that I don't think it needs

499
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,199
Speaker 2: to be. It's not like it's just something to be

500
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 2: said for going slow and to assessing situations without jumping

501
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 2: to really catastrophic solutions really fast. God's chiming, and and

502
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:19,919
Speaker 2: I started just thinking about how even in the trickiest

503
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 2: marriage times. For me, the most valuable people were the

504
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 2: people that, like I didn't share with a lot of

505
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 2: people when we were hitting a low point, even pressed us. Yeah,

506
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 2: but I remember just the power of someone saying like

507
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 2: I get it, and I'm praying alongside you, like I'm

508
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: praying for your marriage. Like I don't know that there's

509
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 2: a lot of that happening as much as there used

510
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 2: to be, just people going, yeah, it's really tough.

511
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: I think.

512
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,640
Speaker 2: You know, my Pammy, my Dallas Mom as I called her.

513
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 2: She was just such a special human and I get

514
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 2: emotional was even thinking about her. But she was the

515
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 2: first one to kind of like pull back the veil

516
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 2: on her. Her and her husband were perfect to me.

517
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 2: It was her third marriage, so she just really took

518
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 2: a minute. But they were so compatible and so best

519
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 2: friendly and just he just adore He still adores her,

520
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 2: you know. Recently we had to talk about just even

521
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: trying to date after her has been really hard for him.

522
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 2: And she was the first one to actually just sit

523
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 2: me down and say, yeah, like sometimes it's like yeah,

524
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 2: like we've had issues and I would never have guessed.

525
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 2: I guess I just had this like idea that because

526
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 2: they were magical together, that there must it must always

527
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 2: have been mutually respectful every single second, and like that

528
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 2: they talked and they did all these things, and they

529
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,640
Speaker 2: did but out of the hard times, they talked more

530
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 2: out of the hard times than they did the best times, right,

531
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,959
Speaker 2: And there was that was absolutely invaluable to me to

532
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,400
Speaker 2: see somebody that I really cherished and looked up to

533
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 2: be able to say it's not always easy and we've

534
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 2: had some really hard spots. And I just really appreciated that,

535
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 2: and it made me feel like I'm more likely to

536
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 2: say that to people now too, you know, because we

537
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 2: all post the highlight reel, right, we all do that also,

538
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 2: like I don't want to look through a bunch of

539
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: people having bad days, you know, so I kind of

540
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 2: get why we do it. It's also just fair to

541
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, it's hard and it takes like, you know,

542
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 2: we hit ten years and I said it to you

543
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 2: and Kat, like I couldn't. Your three and year seven

544
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 2: were really really tough. Your seven was the one that

545
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 2: I thought, if we make it through, I'm not sure

546
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 2: what would break us after this, you know, but you

547
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 2: can't get to ten without seven. So to your point

548
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:43,679
Speaker 2: with great divorce. I think there's just I just I really,

549
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people in that situation because

550
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 2: they've lost the connection being so busy. And it doesn't

551
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 2: surprise me because I think there's so many people that

552
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 2: married differently than we have. I'm almost done with my sermon,

553
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 2: and I think just the reconnection piece, like that's what

554
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 2: I've always been afraid of. Now, Preston and I won't

555
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 2: be empty nesters until we're about ninety one, because we're

556
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 2: going to start. It's late, but I always want to,

557
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 2: like want to be with him when everybody leaves the nest,

558
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 2: like I want to be excited about dating him again. Yeah.

559
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,679
Speaker 1: I think the thing that a few things with what

560
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: you said, which I obviously agree with all of it,

561
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,679
Speaker 1: but one of the most valuable things that I've learned,

562
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 1: you know, even recently, is you don't need to make

563
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: any decision right now. It's like you can take your

564
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,959
Speaker 1: time with things that come up. It's I think, at

565
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:38,920
Speaker 1: least I always kind of like that's it, I'm done.

566
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 1: You know, that's because that's the I don't say it's

567
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: the easiest route, because it's definitely not, but to take

568
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 1: your time to really make the best decision. But also, yes,

569
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: marriage is hard, and I think that especially when it

570
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: comes to like the grade divorces. And this is something

571
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: where even for me, like I'm not great divorce, but

572
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 1: I know because I've already been divorced from Mike, and

573
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say Mike because to me, that's my

574
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 1: only marriage that I had besides Alan, even though again

575
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: on paper not blah blah blah, but like that was

576
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: a marriage I found out I was okay and I

577
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 1: can do it alone. So it's if Allan and I

578
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: were to get to divorced, it's like I think I already.

579
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: And this is probably why people when they're in this

580
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,640
Speaker 1: gray divorce are okay, because it's like they know they

581
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 1: can They're going to be fine. They most likely have

582
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: enough money to be fine, they have their support systems

583
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: and their way of living. That it's if the person's

584
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: not adding to their life, then why spend the rest

585
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 1: of your life left right not being happy and with

586
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: someone and your kids are grown and your kids are grown,

587
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: So like I get, I kind of get that piece.

588
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: And then also I look at it where it's like

589
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 1: I know I'll be okay.

590
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 2: That's it. So it's like I told you, I was like,

591
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 2: I don't have to trust Preston. I just can trust myself. Yeah,

592
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,959
Speaker 2: I would love to trust Preston right that. You know,

593
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 2: at that point in our marriage, I just knew I

594
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 2: trusted myself, and I knew I have a God that's

595
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 2: always been with me, and I am I'm going to

596
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 2: be okay.

597
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,479
Speaker 1: But I also in that same breath, am not just

598
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 1: going to be like, oh we have one issue of X,

599
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 1: Y or Z, I'm done. Like I'm also of the

600
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: mind too where it's let's fight to get let's fight

601
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: through years two in whatever to get to ten. You know,

602
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 1: like I want to be there too, because I know

603
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 1: I know that marriage is not easy. I'm not going

604
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: to then divorce him to have this perfect human on

605
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: the next route. You know, like this next human, if

606
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: there was one, would have something too that they would bring.

607
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: So it's I think it's especially in this day and age,

608
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 1: when everyone can just like, oh the grass is greener,

609
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 1: It's really not. No, it's still the grass just has

610
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: a better Instagram be yeah, yeah, it looks pretty for

611
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: right now. But then you open the bag and you go, oh, yeah,

612
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: can I get back with.

613
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I just it's like the you just don't

614
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be so quick. I remember like

615
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 2: when we were in our thickest I just didn't really

616
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: even reach out because I was like, I actually just

617
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,440
Speaker 2: know what I know, and no one's going to know

618
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 2: your husband like you know your husband. That's the other thing,

619
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 2: Like there can be opinions if you even wanted to

620
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 2: go get them. But you know, I remember specifically like

621
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,719
Speaker 2: you and Sarah Bryce just speaking a lot of life

622
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: into like me as a human, but also just marriage

623
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 2: and Preston as a human, you know, and we learned

624
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 2: a lot about each other and our marriage will never

625
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 2: be the same in the best way. Yeah, you know,

626
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 2: tricky but great divorce. I mean it makes me sad.

627
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 2: But also, man, if I am gray and you are

628
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 2: just not doing the dishes, can't hey load, don't stop

629
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 2: loading that dishwasher like you are a psychopaia.

630
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: Speaking of the dishwasher thing, I saw an instagram about

631
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 1: basically this husband. It's like, if your wife complains about

632
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: the dishwasher being done wrong, then like your wife's narcissist basically,

633
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, buddy, it's made by a dude.

634
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: That doesn't know how to load a dishwasher. He's trying

635
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: to make it go viral. We don't buy it. We're

636
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 1: not narcissists. We're just organized and you're welcome. I think

637
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: everybody has narcissistic tendencies. Of course we do, right, But

638
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: just because a wife says, like, listen, I'm sorry, but

639
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just die on my stake with that one,

640
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 1: because it's really it's not And this is the whole

641
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: point in which I would love to just tell this dudent,

642
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: it's not about the fucking dishwasher, dude, It's actually not

643
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: about how he loads it. Like, yes, it bothers it's

644
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 1: but it's like there's like deeper than that. You know, yes,

645
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 1: you want him to understand why this bothers you that

646
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: you put the fore facing up.

647
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know Kramer, every bit of it,

648
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 2: that dude.

649
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lopez calls out Craig Melvin for asking about her

650
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 1: divorce from Ben Affleck on the Today Show.

651
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 2: Uh.

652
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: I mean basically, Craig asked because she's in a movie, which,

653
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: by the way, Sophia Bush was telling me in Paris

654
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: that this movie is incredible. Oh, exciting. Yeah, like she does.

655
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: It's Kisses of a Spider Woman or something or I

656
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: probably just completely butchered that. Yeah, kiss of the Spider Woman.

657
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: Job good Chad recollection. But she they both they both

658
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 1: produce and she stars in it. But Sophia was like,

659
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 1: she's insane in it, like so good, and I'm like.

660
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 2: Listen, why does she ag in reverse?

661
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: But I'm also like, I love her, I've loved her

662
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 1: and enough Maine Manhattan wedding planner, like she's even the

663
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 1: marry me with whatever Owen Wilson, Like I love her.

664
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: I mean, she's great. It's and I did watch the

665
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 1: Red Carpet with Ben because I was just when I

666
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: couldn't sleep. I was kind of and some of the stuff,

667
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: and listen, I understood people are going to ask about

668
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: her divorce. Obviously Ben's there, and it's it's got to

669
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: be so annoying, but she knew it was coming, you know, it's.

670
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 2: A very public.

671
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I feel like they both answer have been

672
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: answering things great, and they seem mine. But it's like,

673
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: I think it's just I get why the interviewers ask,

674
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: but also don't like just yea if we get it

675
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: they're divorced. Can we have a new new headline? Yeah,

676
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: don't ask her.

677
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 2: It's why there supporting because he's one of the producers,

678
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 2: you know. And it feels like they're such good friends

679
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 2: now that like who cares? Yeah, Like they're so obviously

680
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 2: good friends and have such mutual respect for each other,

681
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 2: or at least they both act like it. No pun intended.

682
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't actually watch it, but I don't know

683
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: where she like called it out, but well I like

684
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: it when jay Low gets spicy. Yeah, she's like and

685
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: this was she said. She goes and yeah, things happen.

686
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: You have to keep going. Yeah.

687
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like in her fifties nevin on yeap, like

688
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 2: gat in her fifties, getting by the minute.

689
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: So Pediatricians reveals the biggest factor that shapes your child's

690
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: future and guess what, it's not parenting.

691
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 2: Well, well I'll drink to that.

692
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 1: Says parenting has its greatest impact on a child's behavior

693
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 1: between birth and age seven.

694
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 2: I'm running out of time with legend.

695
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 1: Shit, so what I've done?

696
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 2: Oh no, this is catastrophic.

697
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: According to this doctor, the long term trajectory of a

698
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 1: young person's life is influenced influence far more by the

699
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 1: neighborhoods they grew up and the peers who surround them,

700
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 1: and the genetic hand the delts than by the daily

701
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,479
Speaker 1: choices of their parents. That's the reality, says The most

702
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: important parenting choice you make is determining the environment in

703
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,479
Speaker 1: which your child will grow up. This makes me sad

704
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: because some people don't have the ability to give them

705
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 1: certain ways of growing up. So that makes me sad.

706
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 2: But I think the environment could just even be safe

707
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 2: safety right, but what if? But I mean like just

708
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 2: within your own walls, right, I mean, sure you can

709
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: have really magical experiences. We just have this spoiled little

710
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 2: bubble where people like you know, do crazy Instagram over

711
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 2: the top things for their kids no matter what. And

712
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 2: I'm guilty of that at sometimes too.

713
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: But I gotta say I disagree, though, I really do,

714
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,279
Speaker 1: because thinking about this and my own childhood, I was

715
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 1: raised in a fine house. I mean it wasn't I

716
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: was not the rich house by all means. Like, yeah,

717
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 1: girlfriends that were in Rochester had n way nicer houses.

718
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: I mean, but my house is fine. Neighborhood, had a

719
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,919
Speaker 1: bunch of friends in the neighborhood, so that was good,

720
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 1: But again, it was what's in the four walls, the coasters, flying,

721
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: the instability with the parents, the fighting like that, it

722
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 1: didn't matter what the environments around my house were. I

723
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 1: had a lot of friends around, I even had a

724
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: family across the street, but what was inside of it

725
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 1: the house, was what shaped my childhood.

726
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 2: So maybe that's to her point that if you have

727
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 2: maybe not if you have, Like to me, it's like

728
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 2: if you have the safety of what's inside your four walls,

729
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 2: if you just know your people love you.

730
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 1: So maybe because I'm taking it as the environment as

731
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: like neighborhoods, neighborhoods and all those things, but I don't

732
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: think it's the only thing. Yeah, that's interesting though to

733
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: even say that parenting, I mean, what and what are

734
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: we doing this for? If I could just pop them

735
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: in the house in a great neighborhood, then my work

736
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 1: is done. I do think there's a ton of validity

737
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,840
Speaker 1: to the people you surround yourself with. I mean, even

738
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: even when love gets to be Jolie. Jolie is so

739
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: complimentary and so sweet, Like I was just thinking of

740
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: like one of their like sweet little interactions in the car,

741
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: you know, like she's just so love. You should totally

742
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: get an agent, you know, like she just is so

743
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: like she's you shrunk, you know, just like, yeah, you

744
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 1: should totally do that.

745
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 2: You'd rock that. But it does matter that they have

746
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 2: I had just like the best. I didn't think my

747
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:17,439
Speaker 2: friends and my neighborhood really saved me. So I think

748
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 2: it could have been really crazy for me if it

749
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 2: was tumultuous inside and then outside also felt that way.

750
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 2: But I had great teachers, I had awesome friends and

751
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 2: cute little neighborhood adventures and simplified adventures like catching the

752
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 2: crawfish in the creek and the you.

753
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 1: Know yeah, I mean yeah, and listen, I always go

754
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: back to. And my parents were just doing the best

755
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: that they could. You know, sure you see that as

756
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: you get older, Yeah, you know, we're all just doing

757
00:37:45,600 --> 00:38:02,239
Speaker 1: the best weekend exactly. Family situation where my brother in law,

758
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: my husband's brother, admitted to us. My husband's brother admitted

759
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: to us he killed two pet bunnies and was having

760
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 1: aggressive tendencies where he would smush his daughter's face and

761
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: nose to make her cry. She is six months now

762
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,879
Speaker 1: and was never seen by a doctor after he admitted this.

763
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 1: They also have a two year old. My question is

764
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 1: how to handle the family holidays with him around. He

765
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:34,760
Speaker 1: hasn't seen a psych and a few family members feel

766
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 1: they aren't taking this seriously enough. It's hard to know

767
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: where to set boundaries because we don't know exactly what

768
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 1: caused this, and form my vantage point, I don't think

769
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 1: proper treatment has been sought. He is still living separately

770
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: from his wife and two young kids, but has been

771
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 1: putting their two year old to bed. My husband and

772
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 1: I are arguing about this more and more, since he

773
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: wants to support his brother and not alienate him. I'm

774
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 1: struggling since we usually all stay under one roof for

775
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: the holidays.

776
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 2: Well, you know me in holidays, it's pretty predictable what

777
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, get a hotel room, Yeah, I definitely.

778
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 2: Home is such a sacred safe space to me that

779
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 2: there's anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you do not

780
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 2: have to host that. M So, I, you know, it's interesting.

781
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 2: I don't resonate to the depth of the the activity

782
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 2: of the brother in law, but we have our own

783
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 2: set of you know, family stuff, and I you know,

784
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 2: brothers have this really special bond. I've learned. It's really

785
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,919
Speaker 2: insane to me. I've never you know, I just only

786
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,879
Speaker 2: have my brother and like, listen, we're bonded for life,

787
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 2: but it's not. We're not as close as we once

788
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 2: were at all, you know, for whatever reason. But Preston's

789
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,440
Speaker 2: really close with his like he's just it's a brother

790
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 2: and when he watches movies and there's brothers. You know.

791
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:05,760
Speaker 2: We just watched Black Rabbit.

792
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: I seldom finished it. Sorry, I was too busy watching

793
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 1: PS I Love You and all that.

794
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe not right now because there was a scene

795
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 2: actually oh no, yeah, there was a scene that took

796
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 2: me back. It kind of got me by surprise actually,

797
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 2: like I went back to seven year old me. Oh okay, yeah,

798
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 2: and that was really hard. It was weird because I,

799
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 2: you know, like you had talked about waking up at

800
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 2: three am and you thought that you were asked that.

801
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 2: I I mean, it was visceral, like it literally came

802
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 2: over me. It was the weirdest thing, and I thought

803
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 2: I have done enough work around that. But very interesting. Anyways,

804
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 2: I do think there's something too. This to me is

805
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 2: easier to me to boundary because it's about safety.

806
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 1: But can we just go back to its child abuse

807
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: and was having aggressive tendencies where he would smash it

808
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: daughter's face and knows to make her cry. Is that

809
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 1: not child abuse?

810
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 2: Yes, agreed, that's what I'm saying that you don't have.

811
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: This person doesn't have to just like aggressive tendencies like

812
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: if you were a physically doing something to harm a child.

813
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 1: You've killed animals, which is a sign of something not right. Correct,

814
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 1: it's a mental like I don't want to misspeak, so,

815
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: but I have We've had family members that had did

816
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: that during childhood and that doesn't do well as they

817
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:26,280
Speaker 1: get older.

818
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, when it's safety and you don't owe anybody a seto,

819
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 2: but it's hard when it's like your husband is you

820
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 2: guys aren't on the same page. And so I oh,

821
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 2: for sure for you on that because that is not

822
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 2: that's and I've been there. Yeah, Like Preston wants everybody

823
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 2: in for the full holiday, and I'm like, there's just

824
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 2: a couple of things here that make me question this

825
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:48,799
Speaker 2: or question that.

826
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:55,959
Speaker 1: So I would tell him like, and he as as

827
00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: your husband, he should honor your thoughts and feelings. He

828
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: doesn't have to agree with your thoughts around it, but

829
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: he should honor your feelings around it. So I would

830
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 1: just take a really firm stance like this doesn't make

831
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: me comfortable, and when it comes to him, like you

832
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: can boundary however you want to have with that relationship.

833
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: If you don't want him close, I mean, I get it,

834
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: just talk to somebody else, divert your attention somewhere else,

835
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 1: you know. But I would I would ask to not

836
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 1: stay under the same roof, because yeah, that does put

837
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 1: you in an uncomfortable situation, and your husband should honor that.

838
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 2: Maybe this is the holiday where you do something off site, yeah,

839
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 2: to alleviate any stress that goes with it. Maybe it's

840
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 2: we're just all meeting at this restaurant instead this year.

841
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,240
Speaker 2: But like, let's call it what it is. I think

842
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 2: if you're yes, intentionally hurting, you're a child. That's crazy

843
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 2: to me. Yeah, yeah, and you have dear listeners are

844
00:42:55,719 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 2: very valid in everything you're thinking and feeling. Yeah, very valid, Bunny.

845
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,439
Speaker 2: I don't this is not that's not healthy. It sounds

846
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,280
Speaker 2: for fun. Yeah, that's not healthy.

847
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: I mean, like by accident, listen, I've been watching I

848
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,839
Speaker 1: don't think it's right for you. I'll to start right there,

849
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 1: but I've been watching the New Charlie Hunting Monster series.

850
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, definitely not for me.

851
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:20,959
Speaker 1: Wow, so my mind.

852
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 2: But do you see how all of these people like

853
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 2: Jeffrey Dahmer, like everybody has calling.

854
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: By the way, we're not calling your brother in law,

855
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Dahmer.

856
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 2: I'm not not calling him that yet. I'm just saying,

857
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 2: there's if you can do harm to living creatures. Huh

858
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 2: there that doesn't typically something stuff. Yeah right, yeah, yeah,

859
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:45,719
Speaker 2: mm hmmm. And I do I just really fear for

860
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 2: the safety of the children.

861
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh, dear listener, maybe ask his wife how you

862
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Speaker 1: could support her. Maybe maybe change your hatred to him

863
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,439
Speaker 1: to how you can support her. Yeah, that's good.

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00:43:59,800 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

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00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,240
Speaker 1: Anyways, gotta go back off to the beach.

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Speaker 2: Unbelievable. Bye Carmen san Diego. Bye,