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Speaker 1: Ex husband ghost ex wife racks up a huge bill,

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Speaker 1: so I help her get sweet revenge.

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Speaker 2: Okyo, P, this is okayop. I'm Samuel Donner and I'm

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Speaker 2: John Fry and we tell the funny Yes, sorvieus on

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Speaker 2: the internet.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes we do. That was very beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, very practicing all day.

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Speaker 1: What's the Italian opera or whatever that you know?

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Speaker 2: It's yeah, Solway Regina, tell me Serdi Cordy, it's best.

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Speaker 2: No stress Arte Klammbo's say Zuli is really heavy, Ante

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Speaker 2: Suspi Ramu's germint flentes in hac lack Rema room vallet,

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Speaker 2: very beautiful. Hey, govgattra elos too cordez oculos odd nos

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Speaker 2: conveyte jas better victims through tom ventries to we know

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Speaker 2: bees eg z oh stand that went into Clemens. Oh

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Speaker 2: oh dude, cheez old mady.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever had a bi okay onto other things?

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Speaker 1: Have you ever had like you know, you like you

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Speaker 1: sign up for like a subscription and then it just like.

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Speaker 2: Stays on there, you know what I mean, completely steam

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Speaker 2: passed me, pouring out my I'm sorry due to the

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Speaker 2: Solway Regina. Yeah, just completely blasts through it fine, what'd you.

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Speaker 1: Learn how to do that?

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Speaker 2: No, you don't even deserve to know.

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't freaking care, bro, you know what you know?

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Speaker 2: I just sing sing for you all day and night.

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Speaker 2: And this is the things I get.

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Speaker 1: That's true, very ungrateful.

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Speaker 2: So all right, hard pivot John. What else do you

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Speaker 2: want to know? What else do you want to believe

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Speaker 2: to be drive from? I'm not appreciated artistic beauty.

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Speaker 1: I want to know. Have your pockets ever been blood

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Speaker 1: dry by like a subscription that you liked? You know,

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Speaker 1: you like signup for a scripture script and you forget

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Speaker 1: and then like five years later you're like, I spent

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Speaker 1: a million dollars on this.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean like this's been like uh, I

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Speaker 2: mean my we work is the biggest one right now,

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Speaker 2: three hundred bucks a month.

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Speaker 1: But at least you haven't like forgotten about that yet.

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Speaker 2: I haven't forgotten about it. There's been like one like

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Speaker 2: uh well actually actually this is not a sponsor, but

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Speaker 2: I remember like one time I forgot what it was,

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Speaker 2: but like I was pissed. I think it was like Cheg,

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Speaker 2: Like Cheg charged me like one hundred bucks for a

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Speaker 2: yearly subscription.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, bro, I'm already graduated. I don't need this

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Speaker 4: this stuff anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and.

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Speaker 2: Then I'm like I will never again pay for this.

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Speaker 2: And so there's this like service called private that creates

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Speaker 2: fake credit cards for you or like it creates real

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Speaker 2: credit cards, but but it has like a limit on it.

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Speaker 2: So it only has like a two dollars limit. Wow,

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Speaker 2: anything gets charged to that, uh, it just gets declined.

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Speaker 2: And so it makes sure that you don't pay those

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Speaker 2: reoccurring charges if you sign up for things.

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Speaker 1: Dude, that's amazing. And also like, please sponsor us because yeah,

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Speaker 1: we could both very much use that fact. Yeah. I've

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Speaker 1: also I just realized yesterday that I got this like

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Speaker 1: not dental insurance, dental insurance that's like ten dollars a

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Speaker 1: month at the beginning of quarantine.

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Speaker 2: And I buy why at the beginning of quarantine? I

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Speaker 2: worried about your teeth?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because I ended up not getting braces as

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Speaker 1: a kid for a variety of reasons. So they are

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Speaker 1: but they're but they're there. There's some crookedness that's like

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Speaker 1: growing exponentially now, is it actually? Yeah, So I'm like

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Speaker 1: wanting to get that fixed, like It's not like it's

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Speaker 1: gonna destroy me or anything.

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Speaker 2: But people will be like, oh, you're British or something.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, Yeah, I'm American, bro.

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Speaker 2: Like, yeah, Americas have good thief. We use our braces exactly.

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Speaker 2: That the dunk gunn the Brits. No, there, we love

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Speaker 2: the Brits. We love the Brits, you know, America one.

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Speaker 2: So we're just saying not dunking on you know, I

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Speaker 2: love you, but I hate you. Yeah, we're dunking our

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Speaker 2: donuts in our coffee where you're sipping those tea bags

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Speaker 2: in your tea.

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Speaker 1: Exactly.

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Speaker 2: It's crazy that, like people got murdered over tea.

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Speaker 5: That is true.

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Speaker 2: Boston tea party, yeah, the tea parade.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, So many topics we're covering today, music bills, but

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Speaker 1: I have one, uh story about a bill that causes

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Speaker 1: a lot of a mess as much as maybe a

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Speaker 1: Boston tea party.

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Speaker 2: Not actually, but okay, all right, wow, Like this story

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Speaker 2: is as influential as getting of America's history.

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Speaker 1: I will die on that hill.

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Speaker 2: I will die, all right, just like the Americans died

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Speaker 2: on the hill in the Revolution to fight for our

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Speaker 2: country against King George the Third.

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Speaker 1: That's right, and this is getting back at your ex

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Speaker 1: just as important Britain. That was such a long o

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Speaker 1: cold but you know, you know, but what warm it

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Speaker 1: up that much?

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Speaker 4: Exactly, it's no longer a cold open. It's a high

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Speaker 4: steamy BZA.

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Speaker 2: Bte however, direct in your mouth and your ears and

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Speaker 2: your eyes, like a surprise that you want the.

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Speaker 1: Hat wee can comedy. So I was working in the

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Speaker 1: Bill and Q for a call center one of the

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Speaker 1: big three telecom companies.

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Speaker 3: Oh, big three, the big three Telecom baby coming to

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Speaker 3: you on ESPN. First we got the worst one, which

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Speaker 3: is Spectra. Then we got the second worst one, which

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Speaker 3: is the one from the Philippines.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to one of our previous stories about that

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Speaker 2: one in the Philippines. Yes, yeah, we hate those internet companies.

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Speaker 1: We hate them, We hate them. Yeah, unless they sponsor us,

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Speaker 1: then we will sell our souls. Just kidding, just get John.

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Speaker 1: We only sponsor things that we really enjoy. Of course,

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Speaker 1: this is true, this is true. We have integrity on

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Speaker 1: this show. We have a lot of integrity. Yeah, a lot.

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Speaker 2: Unless you want us to bear buttholes for a couple

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Speaker 2: grand we'll do that too. I mean, this will surely

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Speaker 2: turn into only fans, and we have a price.

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Speaker 1: We have price. These these cheeks have.

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Speaker 2: Have a We're not going to name our price because

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Speaker 2: we want to, you know, make sure that we have

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Speaker 2: our some negotiating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I know, not going to negotiate against ourselves.

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Speaker 1: That just.

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Speaker 4: Our buttholes are worth worth billion.

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Speaker 1: B It starts with be for a reason, ladies, John.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, billionaire buttholes speaking of buttoles coin.

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Speaker 1: So, so this lady calls in and she's puzzled because

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Speaker 1: she was charged a one time fee of fifty dollars.

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Speaker 4: Oh oh oh, that's like extra loge basis big.

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Speaker 2: Salami by moving boxes, moving boxes, moving boxes, all dame.

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Speaker 1: We haven't used though, and we haven't. I'm sorry, guys,

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Speaker 1: we really We'll bring it back. Don't worry, we'll bring

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Speaker 1: it back, bring it back. Remind us in the comments

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Speaker 1: if we ever, you know, forget again that much.

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Speaker 2: I feel like our whole cold open could be its

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Speaker 2: own up.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, yes it could. The woman calling is even more puzzled.

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Speaker 1: Why would she have that charge when she literally doesn't

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Speaker 1: have TV services from us?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Why so I inform her that she does. It started

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Speaker 1: less than a month ago. She's she's disputing that because

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Speaker 1: optic TV isn't in her area, so she's getting charged

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Speaker 1: for a product not even in her area.

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Speaker 2: That, yeah, this is ridiculous, and well see it's ridiculous,

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Speaker 2: but it is so so common, these fricking inner at

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Speaker 2: providers and TV providers. They will milk you dry, they

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Speaker 2: will suckle at the teeth, and then then your teeths

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Speaker 2: will be nothing but little knobs that are knobbed off. Chapot,

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Speaker 2: bloody discharge just squirting out of those nipples. Now, don't

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Speaker 2: let the internet companies suck in your nipples. I just

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Speaker 2: the shrimp I ate is not feeling great in my

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Speaker 2: stomach anymore, nipplely shrimp. So now at this point, I'm confused.

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Speaker 2: She lives in a small town and there's literally no

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Speaker 2: optic TV in the tire in the entire town.

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Speaker 4: Just a small town girl in a nut.

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Speaker 1: So I do a little digging and find out that someone,

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Speaker 1: an ex husband, was on her account and got a

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Speaker 1: three year contract to get free TV with optic TV

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Speaker 1: and internet.

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Speaker 2: D dang, there's a reason that ex husband is an

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Speaker 2: x X marks the spot kick them and the crop.

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Speaker 1: Dude that is terrible begins to cry on the phone

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Speaker 1: and tell me that now her ex had an affair

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Speaker 1: with a much younger woman, divorced her, and then milked

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Speaker 1: her for as much as he could and apparently he's

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Speaker 1: still milking her from.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that teat is raw and bloody. And

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Speaker 2: it wasn't just the internet company. I guess it was

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Speaker 2: the ex husband. Sorry, internet company's terrible. It's still terrible,

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Speaker 2: but uh yeah, so we had some some innocent fire,

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Speaker 2: but not quite so innocent, because you know those internet

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Speaker 2: companies are worst. Your ex husband. Don't give him the

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Speaker 2: ring without a prenup, yo, that's right.

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Speaker 1: Put your TV and internet in the prenup, guys. That's ye.

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Speaker 2: That that's a that's a metal finger a marriage right.

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Speaker 2: Oh dang. This ex totally ghosted her. He moved to Alberta,

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Speaker 2: changed his email phone number, and blocked her on every

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Speaker 2: single social media platform. Terrible.

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Speaker 1: In my mind, I'm like, wow, this guy is a

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Speaker 1: big jerk. And I'm like, well, I'm sorry. If you

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Speaker 1: cancel the services, you're on the hook to pay for

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Speaker 1: the cancelation fees and so on and so forth.

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Speaker 2: What, oh my god, what are these cancelation fees? It's

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Speaker 2: like all right, you don't want to use our service anymore,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna make you pay. Here's one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 2: dollars for me to click a button. Yeah, these internet

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Speaker 2: companies bro too much, dude. They don't have a clause

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Speaker 2: in there, say like, if your ex husband hijacks your account,

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Speaker 2: you're not liable.

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Speaker 1: They probably have the opposite. They're like, if your expo

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Speaker 1: was a accent, you are still liable.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, jeez, little wease.

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Speaker 1: I can tell her though, that I can remove his

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Speaker 1: access to your account, and you can also add a password,

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Speaker 1: downgrade the internet and TV to the Bear essentials, and

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Speaker 1: I can attempt to redirect the TV gifts, and I

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Speaker 1: can attempt to redirect the free TV from his address

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Speaker 1: to hers. But there's no guarantee as it's already been processed.

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Speaker 1: I can hear and at this point I hear a

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Speaker 1: light going off on our head. Wait what you're telling me?

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Speaker 1: You know where he lives now? Because he hid the address?

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Speaker 2: Ohsh to that?

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Speaker 1: I say, why, Yes, he's got a TV and internet

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Speaker 1: services there, so we have the service address. She goes

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Speaker 1: really quiet and says her lawyer and herself have been

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Speaker 1: trying to track him down. But his family and friends

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Speaker 1: are tight lipped and they haven't said anything. She asked

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Speaker 1: if I'm allowed to give her that info. I smile

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Speaker 1: and reply, this is your account.

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Speaker 4: Oh okay, big Internet, let's go. Let go.

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Speaker 2: Wow Okay, everything I said about big Internet, it's true.

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Speaker 1: But you know to turn it around this lady a

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Speaker 1: big internet.

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Speaker 2: Wow, big Internet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. I gone to tell her, you have unrestricted

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Speaker 1: access for service addresses, phone numbers, emails that your now

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Speaker 1: ex husband provided to us to get hooked up.

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Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god, bro, he just gave him fell

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Speaker 2: himself away.

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Speaker 1: Dude.

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Speaker 2: It was he was like so good about keeping it

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Speaker 2: low key, he just had to get greedy. He's like,

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Speaker 2: not only am I going to take everything you own,

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Speaker 2: not only am I going to just completely go off grid,

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Speaker 2: but I'm gonna milk you for your internet, for.

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Speaker 1: A free TV, for free internee.

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Speaker 4: Little did you know you're gonna give your hold off away?

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Speaker 3: Ah?

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Speaker 4: She asks?

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Speaker 1: Can I give her access to this new address and

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Speaker 1: his cell number and the second number left on the

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Speaker 1: account presumably the new woman, oh week, and any other

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Speaker 1: contact info over the phone right now? I asked if

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Speaker 1: she had a pen and paper handy aka yes.

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Speaker 2: I love how like OP is because OP is the

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Speaker 2: Internet service provider. Yeah, yes, yeah, I love how OP

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Speaker 2: is just like hooking it up. Fat dude shout out

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Speaker 2: to open shot at OP.

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Speaker 1: She was so ecstatic, and after giving her all the

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Speaker 1: details from her account regarding the second service address, downgrading everything,

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Speaker 1: I found out he was a hockey fan and there

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Speaker 1: was a game playing on his team right now. So

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Speaker 1: I wish, I wish I could have been a fly

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Speaker 1: on the wall when he calls in to ask WTF

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Speaker 1: and he discovers he's literally been removed. There's a new

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Speaker 1: account pin number, and he's been discovered by his ex

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Speaker 1: wife and her lawyer.

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Speaker 5: Justice Babe, Babe boom room hop in the car. We're

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Speaker 5: going to revenge baill the board room room.

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Speaker 1: Man. You gotta love it, you gotta and shout out

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Speaker 1: to OPI because she really like hooked, hooked, hooked this lady.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like, you work for this big internet company.

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Speaker 2: Your days are just probably a little poopy, but but

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Speaker 2: you know, at least you can turn some of that

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Speaker 2: poop in the gold for those people that call you up.

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Speaker 1: They're doing doing some good in the world.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, some alchemy, but you know what else does good

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Speaker 2: in a world? This freaking show you're listening to right now.

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Speaker 2: So if you haven't already freaking hit that subscribe button,

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Speaker 2: we hit it doing bro, hit that subscribe button on

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Speaker 2: YouTube and tick on Spotify, and then also, like the

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00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,840
Speaker 2: real ones, the real real ones, join our discord by

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00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:22,359
Speaker 2: joining our Patreon and joining the ranks.

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Speaker 1: Of Ariel Casey, Xenophorius, Divina Mohammed, Amanda will Connor, Desiree,

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Speaker 1: Keingon Simmons, and Kathy Quigley.

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Speaker 4: See You Sewn to the Moon by