1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,160
Speaker 1: When people hear me speak about like when I went

2
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,120
Speaker 1: through my mom and all this stuff, They're like, oh,

3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:09,200
Speaker 1: you went into a relationship with marriage with mommy issues.

4
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,200
Speaker 1: I had been working on that stuff, so that had

5
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,200
Speaker 1: nothing to do with my timeline with my marriage.

6
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,640
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, I'm excited to invite you to the next

7
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,400
Speaker 2: session of Next Chapter podcast. This one is going to

8
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,040
Speaker 2: be unlike any other one that we have done in

9
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,920
Speaker 2: the past. So sit back and prepare your hearts for

10
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:34,000
Speaker 2: a very very special guest that I have to share

11
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,560
Speaker 2: with you today with an interesting, profound, prolific life. Let

12
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,640
Speaker 2: me tell you a little bit about my guest. Today's

13
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,280
Speaker 2: guest is a multi platinum selling artist and New York

14
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:48,599
Speaker 2: Times bestseller author, known to many as a legend and

15
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:52,680
Speaker 2: to all as a rap superstar beyond the mic. He's

16
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:57,240
Speaker 2: a hip hop mogul who built an empower a philanthropists,

17
00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:01,760
Speaker 2: a businessman from the neighborhood to the boardroom and even

18
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:08,560
Speaker 2: the White House, dedicating himself to empowering youth, uplifting underserved communities,

19
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,080
Speaker 2: and giving back every step of the way. The one

20
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:21,440
Speaker 2: the only geez I don't know where to start? Your

21
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,840
Speaker 2: life reads like a roller coaster it's got ups and

22
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,920
Speaker 2: downs and twists and turns, and it's an amazing journey.

23
00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,640
Speaker 2: So we're getting ready to go on a journey. We're

24
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,960
Speaker 2: going to go on a journey with you and perhaps

25
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:39,440
Speaker 2: glean some staying power and some resurrecting power that we

26
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,080
Speaker 2: can share with other young people and other people around

27
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:47,360
Speaker 2: the world who beat the dogs, because you certainly beat

28
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:53,680
Speaker 2: the dogs. Chapter number one, Sea World. As kid, you

29
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,760
Speaker 2: were raised, I was told in South Carolina, but raised

30
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:58,280
Speaker 2: in Georgia.

31
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,920
Speaker 1: Born in South Carolina, born, and you're born in South Carolina,

32
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,800
Speaker 1: born in South Carolina. Moved abroad rather early, Okay, So

33
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,680
Speaker 1: I lived in Japan, Okay. And I lived in Hawaii, Okay.

34
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,760
Speaker 1: And uh, that's pretty much where my childhood was at.

35
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:18,200
Speaker 1: So my chopstick game is insane, crazy.

36
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,120
Speaker 2: You got to help me. I'm not too good. I'm

37
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,960
Speaker 2: a little embarrassing the Fords. Now, I still got the

38
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:24,480
Speaker 2: forts out.

39
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:28,000
Speaker 1: And so when my parents divorced, we moved back to

40
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,720
Speaker 1: Georgia because that's what the majority of my family was,

41
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,160
Speaker 1: and that's how I got back to Georgia.

42
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,600
Speaker 2: You got back to Georgia, Yeah, where I met you here.

43
00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,840
Speaker 2: Now you're in Georgia, you're still in Georgia. Yes, okay, okay,

44
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,800
Speaker 2: I didn't know you were so international. But you know,

45
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:48,360
Speaker 2: being international and being exposed to international cultures broaden your thinking, yeah,

46
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,320
Speaker 2: broadens your perspectives and is in its own way a

47
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,320
Speaker 2: type of education.

48
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,840
Speaker 1: I think it it actually, you know, I laugh about

49
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,119
Speaker 1: it today because I tell people that, like, sushi got

50
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,200
Speaker 1: me back. That I was young, I had a best friend.

51
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,600
Speaker 1: His name was Cole, and he was Japanese and black.

52
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,760
Speaker 1: His mom was Japanese, his dad was black. His dad

53
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,799
Speaker 1: was also in the service. When I stayed at the

54
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:13,280
Speaker 1: house every weekend because he's like my best friend, Smam

55
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,600
Speaker 1: made us make our own sushi. We eat chop six.

56
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,280
Speaker 1: And I just loved their family experience because my family

57
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,400
Speaker 1: didn't operate like that, right, and so they always ate together,

58
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,320
Speaker 1: you know, told stories or whatever. So when I did

59
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,400
Speaker 1: move back to the States and ended up in this

60
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:31,480
Speaker 1: small trailer with my mother, this single wide trailer that

61
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,200
Speaker 1: I paid thirty five hundred dollars for at the time,

62
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 1: and I remember when I started back going to school,

63
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,800
Speaker 1: I was telling my friends that, like, you know, there's

64
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,960
Speaker 1: beaches out there and people that don't look like us

65
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,520
Speaker 1: and talk different languages because I had a chance to

66
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,800
Speaker 1: see all that and nobody believed me. So as a

67
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,040
Speaker 1: grown man right now to today, I took myself on

68
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:57,800
Speaker 1: a sushi date at eight pm Wednesday night, sharp by myself,

69
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,640
Speaker 1: really just to remind myself of it got me back,

70
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,360
Speaker 1: because I wanted to get back to When I got

71
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,960
Speaker 1: back to the States, it was like it was no

72
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,160
Speaker 1: more sushi, it was no more beaches, it was no

73
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,520
Speaker 1: more this life that I knew. And I'm like, if

74
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,800
Speaker 1: I don't do something, I'm gonna be stuck here forever.

75
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,080
Speaker 1: So my motivation was getting back to traveling, getting back

76
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,600
Speaker 1: to being able to eat sushi or do these things

77
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,320
Speaker 1: that I love to do that's no longer there. So,

78
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,960
Speaker 1: you know, just to pay homage to myself, I just

79
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,320
Speaker 1: go out every Wednesday night by myself, no matter what

80
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,719
Speaker 1: city I'm in, and I sit there and I just

81
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,039
Speaker 1: have sushi, and I just remind myself of, like, you know,

82
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,240
Speaker 1: you had to work to get back here, so don't

83
00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:35,680
Speaker 1: forget that.

84
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:42,599
Speaker 2: Yeah so you brought sushi to the South. Yeah yeah, sure,

85
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:48,440
Speaker 2: but it also fix your profile. You You really are

86
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,120
Speaker 2: hard to define. You've done so many different things.

87
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,400
Speaker 1: A feel bit of a renaissance man. I mean, I

88
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,839
Speaker 1: thought about it the other day. So the trailer that

89
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,040
Speaker 1: I bought my mother was like on this back country,

90
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,480
Speaker 1: but you know, she loved it, you know, because it

91
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,520
Speaker 1: was nobody there. She was out there by herself until

92
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,800
Speaker 1: she came into town. But what I noticed is I

93
00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,000
Speaker 1: loved it there too, And I didn't really understand why.

94
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,479
Speaker 1: But I understand why now because I have places that

95
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:19,120
Speaker 1: are you know, in rural areas that I just go

96
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,080
Speaker 1: myself and I'll start to understand. It was like this

97
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,520
Speaker 1: peace that I can't describe because you're you with nature,

98
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,159
Speaker 1: but you're like at one with the universe. And you know,

99
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,440
Speaker 1: because my mother passed during COVID, but when I'm there,

100
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,360
Speaker 1: I get this sense of she's with me. But at

101
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,559
Speaker 1: the same time, it's just like this is what peace

102
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,520
Speaker 1: feels like. You don't need anyone else to or any

103
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,039
Speaker 1: outside thing to help you gain peace. You just get

104
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,360
Speaker 1: away to what you know and you get in your

105
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,800
Speaker 1: space and you just be. And that's been like my

106
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,480
Speaker 1: secret sauce.

107
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,080
Speaker 2: So, would you describe yourself as a bit of an introvert?

108
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:02,600
Speaker 1: Oh? No, totally invert? Yeah, why you do it? By

109
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:08,160
Speaker 1: the way, it's just like, you know, I go out

110
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,480
Speaker 1: and I entertain you know, you know, hundreds of thousands

111
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,279
Speaker 1: of people, you know, throughout the weekend, and the minute

112
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,400
Speaker 1: I get home, I just need to be by myself.

113
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,640
Speaker 1: I just need to sit and I just need to

114
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,920
Speaker 1: like process and go through my thoughts. And it's just

115
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,479
Speaker 1: like even when I interact with people, like, you know,

116
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,320
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty savvy businessman, but I can only do

117
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,719
Speaker 1: so many calls today, you know what I'm saying, because

118
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,760
Speaker 1: I'm depleted because everybody I talk to text a piece

119
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,080
Speaker 1: of my energy. Yeah, I get it, but I know

120
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,040
Speaker 1: people who are like around people all the time, and

121
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,320
Speaker 1: I'm just like, how do you do that? And you know,

122
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,080
Speaker 1: so once I realized I was an introvert and also

123
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,880
Speaker 1: a life path seven. That's my life path number. Because

124
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,680
Speaker 1: I always wonder why I like would like get subjects

125
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,880
Speaker 1: and really dive into them, like I like, like, mental

126
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,760
Speaker 1: health is something that I really, you know, became serious about,

127
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,440
Speaker 1: but I like dive headfirst into it. And I was

128
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,919
Speaker 1: doing all this research and I'm like, well, if you

129
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,880
Speaker 1: can ask people, why are you doing the research. But

130
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,440
Speaker 1: it was important for me to get the information myself

131
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,000
Speaker 1: so that if I'm ever asked I can you know,

132
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,880
Speaker 1: you know, answer it wholeheartedly and honestly. And what I

133
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,080
Speaker 1: learned about it, like past seven, is they have to

134
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,360
Speaker 1: do the research, they have to know the answers. They

135
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,560
Speaker 1: don't take answers from anybody else, and that's what fulfills them.

136
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,720
Speaker 1: So when I take these moments of solitude, I'm in

137
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,640
Speaker 1: a book, I'm in a podcast. You know. Of course

138
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,679
Speaker 1: on my Sundays I got bishop going in the morning

139
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:38,280
Speaker 1: scrambling my eggs. But I had to lean into that

140
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,400
Speaker 1: because that's what gave me. That's what gave me energy,

141
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,600
Speaker 1: and that's what gave me fulfillment. Is that I can

142
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,480
Speaker 1: do all these things for these people, but then I

143
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,840
Speaker 1: also have enough sense to know I need to be

144
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,040
Speaker 1: by myself so that I can recharge and replentish.

145
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,560
Speaker 2: I didn't always know that. I learned that we have

146
00:07:55,760 --> 00:08:01,560
Speaker 2: something in common and being bits of a polymath. Yeah,

147
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 2: people who have diverse interests and they've got their fingers

148
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,119
Speaker 2: in a lot of paths all the time. Their poly

149
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:12,440
Speaker 2: mass and the ability to juggle diverse things. Whereas people

150
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,200
Speaker 2: tend to want to put you in a box and

151
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:18,400
Speaker 2: become comfortable in one lane, you're not a person who

152
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:22,440
Speaker 2: just sees things in a singular way. You see them

153
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,640
Speaker 2: in multiplicity and diversity, and still can be yourself in

154
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,440
Speaker 2: different settings, in different atmospheres. And I learned as I

155
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,679
Speaker 2: got older to pull myself back a little bit and

156
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:37,560
Speaker 2: recalibrate myself because I am involved in so many different things,

157
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,600
Speaker 2: and so are you. Other thing we have in common,

158
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:45,600
Speaker 2: your mother suffered from dementia. Yes, my mother died of Alzheimer's.

159
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,280
Speaker 1: Ye, same thing.

160
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:51,080
Speaker 2: So I know what that's like, what that does to you,

161
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:55,000
Speaker 2: and how much how much it takes out of you.

162
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:58,960
Speaker 2: And it's harder in some ways. I think it's harder

163
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,760
Speaker 2: on the family than it is person.

164
00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,720
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny you say that, because me and

165
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:08,079
Speaker 1: my mom had a really rough like relationship in the beginning.

166
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,920
Speaker 1: Like she was very spicy, like she was just you know,

167
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,920
Speaker 1: she was from the she was cut from a different cloth,

168
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,320
Speaker 1: you know, and she just didn't play any games. Like

169
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,320
Speaker 1: she was very vocal, straightforward. She didn't mind, you know,

170
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,840
Speaker 1: snatching you up. But she loved me, but she just

171
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,000
Speaker 1: didn't because she was raising me as a man. So

172
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:31,840
Speaker 1: she taught me things that I guess she overcompensated for

173
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,880
Speaker 1: her being a woman, and a lot of that built

174
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,000
Speaker 1: up resentment over time because I felt like she cared

175
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,800
Speaker 1: about my sister more and I'm out here trying to

176
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,160
Speaker 1: figure it out. I'm a young kid, I'm fourteen years old,

177
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,040
Speaker 1: hustling trying to take care of them. I don't really

178
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,960
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing, but I'm just doing what I can.

179
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,520
Speaker 1: And I wasn't really that good in school. My sister

180
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,120
Speaker 1: was good, so I really leaned towards the streets and

181
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:56,600
Speaker 1: that drove us father apart, and we just had this

182
00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:00,559
Speaker 1: rocky relationship. But when she became sick with dementia and

183
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,840
Speaker 1: she was in these homes, in these places, I would

184
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,760
Speaker 1: actually go, and you know, it was a lot of

185
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,200
Speaker 1: resentment between both of us, and I would just actually

186
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,840
Speaker 1: go sit with her, feed her, talk to her, listen

187
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,880
Speaker 1: to music with her. Sometimes she would come in and

188
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,320
Speaker 1: she would come out and she would say something to me,

189
00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,439
Speaker 1: and I might say, hey, you know, you know, I

190
00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:20,920
Speaker 1: forgive you for you know, just you know, the times

191
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,120
Speaker 1: that we at. Sometimes she would act like she hear me.

192
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,959
Speaker 1: My mom was smart, even with dementia, right right right,

193
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,920
Speaker 1: you know, it wasn't something she wanted to hear. So

194
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,679
Speaker 1: I look at it as it's two things. I said.

195
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,880
Speaker 1: I always prepared because my mom was my heart, you

196
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,280
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I prepared myself that if

197
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,959
Speaker 1: something happened to her the mentally, I was going to

198
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,920
Speaker 1: have to deal with it because all the stuff that

199
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,920
Speaker 1: happened to me in the past, because I've lost so

200
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,000
Speaker 1: many people I can't even count. But at some point

201
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:55,800
Speaker 1: I became numb and I was compartmentalizing that I understood

202
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,600
Speaker 1: that this is what happens. This is the life I chose.

203
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,839
Speaker 1: You lose people, you know, it just is what it is.

204
00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,040
Speaker 1: But it was like, I was like, when my mom leaves,

205
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,280
Speaker 1: like what is that gonna put me at? Because she

206
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,559
Speaker 1: was the foundation for what I knew, me and my sister.

207
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 1: And when she did pass, I really just had this

208
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,679
Speaker 1: talk with God because I was just like, I'm just

209
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,800
Speaker 1: glad you just didn't take her. Suddenly I got a

210
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,560
Speaker 1: chance to talk to her, be with her, have those

211
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,480
Speaker 1: quiet moments when other people wasn't around her in the room.

212
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 1: And you know, she loved to watch like mash and

213
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,720
Speaker 1: stuff like that, and I would just sit there with

214
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,960
Speaker 1: her and were just watching and she would laugh all

215
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,400
Speaker 1: of a sudden and she's like, you see that. I

216
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,319
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, we might talk a little bit, but

217
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,960
Speaker 1: those those are the moments that I remember more than

218
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,320
Speaker 1: the moments that she was hard on me. So that

219
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,880
Speaker 1: kind of gave me this relief. And when she passed,

220
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,880
Speaker 1: you know, of course I had to jump in to be,

221
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,319
Speaker 1: you know, the man for the family, but also was

222
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,559
Speaker 1: at a place of peace because I felt like she

223
00:11:55,679 --> 00:12:02,199
Speaker 1: wasn't you know, she wasn't suffering anymore, and that it

224
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:07,360
Speaker 1: wasn't sudden, so I had time to prepare mentally, you know,

225
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,079
Speaker 1: and I thank God for that, because I know people

226
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,920
Speaker 1: have to leave this earth, but I don't know what

227
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,640
Speaker 1: that's like suddenly with somebody that close.

228
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, that close, I'm saying. You know, it's an interesting

229
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:23,840
Speaker 2: subject because so many people, especially in this generation, have

230
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:28,600
Speaker 2: combat of relationships with their parents and don't stick around

231
00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:33,080
Speaker 2: to work through that so that they can have grief

232
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,920
Speaker 2: without guilt. You know, what would you say to the

233
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:42,880
Speaker 2: person who's had a combative relationship with their parents, What

234
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,200
Speaker 2: would you say to them that would help them should

235
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,640
Speaker 2: their parents pass away, that they would have grief but

236
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,599
Speaker 2: not guilt.

237
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,199
Speaker 1: I had a wise person tell me one day, and

238
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,079
Speaker 1: me and my dad had the same thing, but me

239
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,760
Speaker 1: and my dad is like my god now, So it's crazy.

240
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,520
Speaker 1: I never thought it would be this close. Like he's

241
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,000
Speaker 1: always been an amazing person. I just had this picture

242
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,480
Speaker 1: in my head of he left us. But when I

243
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,040
Speaker 1: found out what really happened, he did the right thing.

244
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,400
Speaker 1: So he was so right about it that he never

245
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,560
Speaker 1: told me what really happened until like almost thirty years later.

246
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,800
Speaker 1: So this whole time that I was angry, I'm not

247
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,760
Speaker 1: knowing that he's being a stand up guy, not saying

248
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,720
Speaker 1: because he wants me to think the best about my mother.

249
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,360
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, and what I would tell people.

250
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:30,960
Speaker 1: A wise man told me this once. He said, he said,

251
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:35,520
Speaker 1: what's your dad's name? And I said Jay, And he

252
00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:39,360
Speaker 1: looked at me. He said, well, he's just J. He

253
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,760
Speaker 1: makes mistakes too, he's a man. I mean, he's a

254
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,400
Speaker 1: kid being a man, like you have to give him.

255
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:51,280
Speaker 1: He's just J. He's a dad. He's just J, just

256
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,320
Speaker 1: like your mom is just sharing. They're going to have

257
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,320
Speaker 1: their things. And when I started to get into the

258
00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,640
Speaker 1: mental health space myself and just start to understand traumas

259
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,520
Speaker 1: and the things that I was going through, I had

260
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 1: to really sit back and look at their lives and go.

261
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:09,400
Speaker 1: I knew my dad's dad. He was a tough guy, right.

262
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,600
Speaker 1: He was a different type of character. My mom's mom

263
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,120
Speaker 1: right now, she about ninety. She's still kicking right right,

264
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,920
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. She might you know, I mean,

265
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,920
Speaker 1: you know, we just you know, God bless her soul.

266
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,440
Speaker 1: Like she she was pollomer Son until she was eighty five.

267
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 1: She would sit there right, you come in the house.

268
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,360
Speaker 1: She got a whole paint right there. She would just

269
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,560
Speaker 1: drink right. But she was healthy, she was all the things.

270
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,120
Speaker 1: But she was spicy. So when I look at that,

271
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 1: and you know, I love my grandmother, I look at

272
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,160
Speaker 1: it and I go, if my mom was dealing with

273
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,080
Speaker 1: that at a young age, then she was the you

274
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,520
Speaker 1: know she was. She was the offspring of someone who

275
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 1: who was what she became. So that's how she was raised,

276
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,640
Speaker 1: and that's the trauma that she went through. So I

277
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,600
Speaker 1: got to give her grace there. And when I look

278
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,120
Speaker 1: at my father, he went through his thing, and I

279
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,040
Speaker 1: got to give him grace because I would hope my

280
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,880
Speaker 1: son would give me grace because I went through my things.

281
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:06,160
Speaker 1: So that's why I would tell someone that they're just

282
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,080
Speaker 1: who they are, and you shoe got to give them

283
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,640
Speaker 1: grace because their parents. But even as a parent myself,

284
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,840
Speaker 1: I don't do everything right. I cry, you know, I

285
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,520
Speaker 1: have to apologize to my daughter all the time, like

286
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,240
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sorry for even you know, saying that,

287
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,920
Speaker 1: But I do want her to see that. You know,

288
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,920
Speaker 1: you can't apologize and you can't try to you know,

289
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,480
Speaker 1: right your wrongs or fix things. But we all gonna

290
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:31,360
Speaker 1: make mistakes and nobody's perfect, So you can't look at that.

291
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,400
Speaker 1: You can't do the work to work on yourself to

292
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,240
Speaker 1: understand because if I too what happened to me in

293
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,040
Speaker 1: my past and brought it into my household now with

294
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,720
Speaker 1: my kids, I would be so far from right.

295
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:49,400
Speaker 2: Chapter number two, Financial literacy. Let me ask you this,

296
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:54,840
Speaker 2: how much do you think being raised with financial constraints

297
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,440
Speaker 2: and limitations and struggling to make ends meet. How much

298
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,480
Speaker 2: do you think that play role in the atmosphere between

299
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,160
Speaker 2: your parents and your early upbringing.

300
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,640
Speaker 1: I think it played a lot, because you know, they

301
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 1: didn't have the resources of the finances too. And I

302
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,960
Speaker 1: wouldn't say just live a great life, it's just like

303
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,680
Speaker 1: to be that take the time to be great parents, right,

304
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 1: because when you're set up in things, if you ever

305
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,720
Speaker 1: seen a unit a husband and the wife of partners

306
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 1: that together and they all got they both have this

307
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,920
Speaker 1: common cause of just keeping the family comfortable and making

308
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:30,240
Speaker 1: sure everybody's good, but also making sure that they're taking

309
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,360
Speaker 1: the son the baseball practice, at the daughter's ballet, they're

310
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,800
Speaker 1: at their recitals. There are certain things because they're building

311
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,080
Speaker 1: a support system of that you know you're safe and

312
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,560
Speaker 1: you're in the same space, and I think it takes,

313
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 1: you know, some type of financial planning to be in

314
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 1: the same space. And when you're not in the safe space,

315
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 1: people do dire things. That's why you know, you got

316
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,080
Speaker 1: these men to go out here and hustle and end

317
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,880
Speaker 1: up going to prison for twenty years. But then what

318
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 1: happens to you your baby boy that you was trying

319
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 1: to take care of. You know, you're gone for twenty years.

320
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,240
Speaker 1: Now he's basically either being raised by his mother or

321
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 1: being raised by his uncle or the streets. And then

322
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,879
Speaker 1: when you come home, you know, now you're dealing with

323
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,320
Speaker 1: someone who had to live this life because you tried

324
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:15,959
Speaker 1: to step in and do the right thing, but it

325
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 1: wasn't the total right thing, and now you got to

326
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 1: pray that this doesn't happened to his kids. So it's

327
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,960
Speaker 1: like a cycle. So I think financial literacy has a

328
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,640
Speaker 1: lot to do with it, because even now I'm grateful

329
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,640
Speaker 1: that I could take care of my family, but I'm

330
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,320
Speaker 1: also more grateful that I got time to, like really

331
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 1: work on myself so that I can become a better

332
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,560
Speaker 1: leader and a better father and a better parent for

333
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,440
Speaker 1: them because I am set up financially and I don't

334
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,920
Speaker 1: have a lot of pressure to go out and do

335
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 1: things that I don't have to do, and that gives

336
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 1: me time to work on myself, whereas if I didn't

337
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,280
Speaker 1: have it, I would constantly be having to, you know,

338
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,160
Speaker 1: get out here and work.

339
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 2: You know, when I looked at the research of your

340
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 2: childhood and all the trauma that you went through, the

341
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 2: things that you face, and the things that you you

342
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,399
Speaker 2: faced as an adult looking back and becoming more open

343
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 2: with your life, I thought about a bow and arrow,

344
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:18,760
Speaker 2: and an arrow only shoots as far forward as it

345
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 2: was pulled back. Okay, you you you were pulled back

346
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 2: in a lot of ways. Abused as a child, had

347
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 2: to confront that, grew up with broaches and poverty, and

348
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 2: things that you talked about and been open about and

349
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 2: all was roaching, so that stuff you're you're amos, okay,

350
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 2: so relaxed, relaxed. I understand the story. But almost everybody

351
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:57,120
Speaker 2: I have sat down and talked to who became extremely successful,

352
00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 2: especially in our community, has those kinds of traumas that

353
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 2: pull them way back. And I think sometimes it's not

354
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,159
Speaker 2: what you're running too, but what you're running from that

355
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,919
Speaker 2: gives you the tenacity to work. I think the commitment

356
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 2: to go further because you don't ever want to see

357
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 2: that again.

358
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,880
Speaker 1: You know. Do you feel that way too? Absolutely? Yeah.

359
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: And I feel that because there was a point in

360
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,640
Speaker 1: my life where I was just like just depressed because

361
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: I just didn't understand what was going on. But the

362
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 1: minute I started to understand that life doesn't happen to you,

363
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 1: it happens for you, it's like he's not going to

364
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 1: push you through because you're saying you want this life,

365
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 1: you want all these things, but if you're not built

366
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,640
Speaker 1: up for it, once you even get into this life,

367
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 1: you can't sustain it because it's tough, right right. You

368
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: can't you can't, you can't. Yeah, you can't be a

369
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: leader if you can't indo a Paine.

370
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:01,119
Speaker 2: See, people don't understand being successful is tough. You know.

371
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 2: It's advertised to people that are struggling as a utopia.

372
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 1: But it is not.

373
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 2: When you get into it, the bigger the levels, the

374
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 2: bigger the devils, and you have to deal with everything

375
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 2: and the haters and then self doubt and overcome your

376
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: feelings of inadequacy and those inner struggles that nobody knows

377
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 2: that you have that you go to bed with and

378
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 2: get up with in the morning and put a smile

379
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 2: on your face, paint it on your face and go

380
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,719
Speaker 2: out there and do what you gotta do.

381
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 1: It is. It is tough, and.

382
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 2: I haven't I don't know whether you feel this way,

383
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 2: but I have never seen a tougher time than the

384
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 2: times we're in right now.

385
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel that as a like growing up tough. Yeah,

386
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,959
Speaker 1: but I think that prepared me for this. Yeah, because

387
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,679
Speaker 1: now it's even like when my team come to meet

388
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 1: with stuff and I just laugh because they can be

389
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 1: like it's nine one one and I'm just like, yeah, right,

390
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,960
Speaker 1: like this is what we're gonna do. You know what

391
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 1: I'm saying? Right, all the stuff I don'et been through

392
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 1: that I had to think on my feet. It kept

393
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 1: me alive, you know what I'm saying, and out of

394
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 1: prison sentences there was thirty to forty to fifty years,

395
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, because I was smart on

396
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 1: my feet, and then at the same time, I endured

397
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 1: the pain because I made a lot of unpopular decisions

398
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: that don't seem like the thing to do at the time,

399
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But as you go on

400
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: to life, you start to see that it works out.

401
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 1: But I got this tolerance for things that I don't

402
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,439
Speaker 1: think most people can tolerate because I put everybody before me,

403
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 1: So I'm more harder on myself to make sure like

404
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: things get done even when somebody might drop the ball

405
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 1: here and there because I'm looking at it like that

406
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 1: wasn't intentional. But let me be a good leader and

407
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: have their back even though I'm tired, even though I'm

408
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,360
Speaker 1: stressed out, you know what I'm saying. I just got

409
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 1: to go here and make sure this is right for them.

410
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: And I think that, you know you that's because for me,

411
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,360
Speaker 1: when I'm look at it, I look at it like this,

412
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 1: I'm smart, but I ain't that smart, So I know

413
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: that there's a greater power moving me in these directions

414
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 1: and put me in these places where it can be

415
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 1: like your whole world is about the crash. And I

416
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: just went through some things recently that I was just like,

417
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 1: as a grown man, I'm like, this is crazy. But

418
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: when I came in back into my light, I was like, oh,

419
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 1: he was preparing me for this, you know what I'm saying,

420
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: because I needed to take all these restraints off and

421
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: get all this stuff by my way and clear this clutter.

422
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: So I could see this path that he wanted me

423
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 1: to stay on for my people and the coach and

424
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 1: what I do. And when I realized it, I was

425
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: walking in my light brighter than before. But I was

426
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 1: just in the darkest light I ever been in. So

427
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 1: now when I come back up for air and I

428
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 1: see what's going on in the world, I'm just like, Okay,

429
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 1: let me do my part to help my people. And

430
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 1: that's being poised and being calm in this difficult time.

431
00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:02,120
Speaker 2: And being philanthropic rather than selfish. So my mother used

432
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 2: to say, school is a university. A life is a university,

433
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 2: and everybody in it is a teacher. When you wake

434
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 2: up in the morning, be sure, you go to school,

435
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: that's right. What did hard times, prison, everything that you

436
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 2: went through teach you to turn you into a business

437
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: man and a mogul.

438
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna tell you what this wise man told

439
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: me one day on the road. I asked him to say, well, Bishop,

440
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,920
Speaker 1: how did you get through this? Philactrop somebody, this is

441
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur stuff. He said. Listen, I was an entrepreneur

442
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,159
Speaker 1: before everything else, right, right, right, right? So for me,

443
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 1: my passion, my talent was music. I couldn't deny that,

444
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: but my passion was business because I wanted to be

445
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 1: a businessman because that's what I associated with being able

446
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 1: to get into these rooms and to build this wealth

447
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 1: that I can go back and help my people. And

448
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 1: you know, we all see the billionaire where it sounds good,

449
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: but it's not for me. I can only spend so much,

450
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 1: My family underne so much. But when you have the status,

451
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: you able to go and talk to these bigger brands

452
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 1: and say, hey, look, I'm doing this and I need

453
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,159
Speaker 1: you guys support because they're looking at the success you

454
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 1: had and they want to put it with what you

455
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: got so that you so that we can, you know,

456
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: do something for the people So to answer your question

457
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 1: for me, I just feel like, you know, everything I

458
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: went through. Everything that I learned in the streets set

459
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: me up for real life. So if I take a loss,

460
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 1: I don't look at it how somebody would look at

461
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 1: it if they only knew business. I knew. I came

462
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 1: from the school of hard knocks. And just like your

463
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: mother said, education costs. Yes, yes, you know what I'm saying.

464
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 1: So if you were a bad deal and it cost

465
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,480
Speaker 1: me a few million dollars, I just paid for that,

466
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 1: I better not do that again, right right, what I'm saying.

467
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 2: But it told me it's rare, though, to find a

468
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 2: creative who is also entrepreneurial and business minded. Most people

469
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 2: who are creatives hire somebody to take care of the

470
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 2: business because they're so into what they're producing creatively that

471
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 2: they don't take care of the business. And I personally

472
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 2: believe if you get the business right first, then you

473
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 2: do the creatives. I found out too many times I

474
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 2: made a movie, it didn't have a deal.

475
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 1: I made it.

476
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 2: I wrote a book and didn't have a publisher. You know,

477
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 2: let's get the business straight. Now that I got a

478
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 2: publishing deal, now let's write the book. You know, getting

479
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 2: things in sequence in a way where they flow better

480
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 2: and where they operate better is very important. But we

481
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 2: don't have many people. We have many people that do it,

482
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,199
Speaker 2: but we don't have many people that teach it.

483
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know, the thing is I think is

484
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,959
Speaker 1: one of those things I personally think as a leader.

485
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 1: As leaders, you learn about trialing to it. So by

486
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: the time you bump your heads enough times you're right,

487
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 1: then you kind of got the formula. Nobody can like

488
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 1: teach you that formula. You can't sit down with a

489
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: business manager team and they set it up. It's based

490
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: off of how you think, how you feel, how you move,

491
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 1: and what kind of culture you're trying to build in

492
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 1: your business. And it's like i'n't been through a few

493
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: situations where I had learned the hard way because I

494
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 1: had lawyers that I thought negotiated great deals. But once

495
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 1: and I tell my team all the time, like, let

496
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: me get all the data, right, don't try to spare

497
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: me with this. I don't want to tell you everything

498
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: because right over, give me everything and let me let

499
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 1: me make the right decision based off of what I

500
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 1: know this is coming. Because I am a visionary and

501
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 1: I'm already ten years down the road in my head.

502
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 2: So when you talk about your team, what do you

503
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 2: look for and the people that you surround yourself with.

504
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 1: That's great. I mean I look for people that their

505
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: goals aligned with my vision. So they're they're into this,

506
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: and they have qualities of themselves. They either aid great

507
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: at managing people, great at detail, or they understand they

508
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,680
Speaker 1: can see around the corner as well. Because if you're

509
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: dealing with people, because we're creative, so it's not like

510
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,360
Speaker 1: you just got this product and you're just saying we're

511
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 1: gonna sell this and everybody's focused like we're doing you know,

512
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 1: ten fifteen different things and pretty much people who know

513
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,399
Speaker 1: how to flow and are not like because you know,

514
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: and being a creative and being horrific, were you able

515
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: to like see things. Everybody's not gonna always agree, but

516
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 1: you have to have people who don't who understand pivoting

517
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: is a part of how this works. So if we

518
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 1: got to change our mind, it's fine, It's okay. We

519
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 1: have a plan. As long as we got a plan,

520
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 1: we can change as long as we got a plan.

521
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 2: I like living in the tension. I like living in detention.

522
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: I don't want everybody to be yes man, and we'll

523
00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 2: say agree about everything. There's something passionate and something powerful

524
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: that comes out of the tension. And I like to

525
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 2: see I see you. I like to see you be passionate.

526
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 2: I might not do what you said, but I want to.

527
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 2: I want you to be passionate about it. I want

528
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 2: to hear what you've got to say. And I, for one,

529
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 2: have always tried to hire my weakness is not my strengths.

530
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 2: I'll get that because if you hire your strengths, you've

531
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: got competition. When you hire your weaknesses, you have collaboration.

532
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 2: You feel that way too.

533
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: H Yeah, because you got to have somebody to watch

534
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 1: it back. Yeah, because I can go. Yeah, I'm saying

535
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: I call in the morning like, oh my god, I

536
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 1: got it. I got thirty ideas like always low down, Yeah,

537
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: like which one we want to focus on, but also

538
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: also proud myself and not being the smartest person at

539
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: the table too. You know what I'm saying. It's like

540
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 1: I I over the years, I've learned the skill set

541
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: of like aligning myself with people who who who I

542
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: admire the way they think right, and it's like just

543
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: processing things with them gives me more of a thirty thousand,

544
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: you know, feet in the air view of what I'm

545
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 1: doing rather than just on surface level. Because we're having

546
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: this conversation and they're smart too, so they can see

547
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: and they go, okay, well what if we put these

548
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: two things together? How they feel about that? I was like, yeah, actually,

549
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 1: I love that, but let's do this too, right, and

550
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: now you're onto something and it's just like and if

551
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: it doesn't work, we learned and then we keep moving.

552
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

553
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 2: Okay, so you've made some financial good decisions, you made

554
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 2: some financial bad decisions. At one point, had three Laborghinis

555
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 2: and had insurance on them, but didn't have insurance on you,

556
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 2: which kind of goes along with what we were talking

557
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: about a minute ago. Value in yourself. What have you

558
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 2: learned about handling money that you didn't know?

559
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: Then? Well? Then, you know, I think if I could

560
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 1: have got the Lamborghinis off the lot without insurance, I

561
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 1: wouldn't have insurance on them either. Why, because you know,

562
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 1: you was living for the moment, you know what I'm saying, Like,

563
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: I didn't you know, you just wanted these things because

564
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 1: you wanted them at the time, but then we started

565
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: thinking about like insurre. I know just what I'm saying

566
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: back then, but it's back then. Yeah, yeah, So back

567
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: then it was almost like I didn't know nobody in

568
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 1: my family had life insurance or medical insurance like that,

569
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: Like we just wasn't brought up like that. My dad

570
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: had it because he was in the service, but once

571
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,239
Speaker 1: we went back to the hood, it was kind of

572
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: like he was kind of like on your own. So

573
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: that wasn't the thing coming into it. But as I

574
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 1: got older and I started to realize that health is real,

575
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 1: because it is real. I just did a thing the

576
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: other day for some more insurance and they was asking

577
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: me all these questions and I'm like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,

578
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: and she was just like, you's so healthy, and they

579
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: just hit me. I'm like, wow, I'm healthy. That's crazy.

580
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: Like I'm taking care of myself, you know, for a change.

581
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: But to answer your question, like what I learned on

582
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: the financial level is you definitely like you're gonna need

583
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: money into you forever and your kids are gonna need

584
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 1: it and things like this, I stop looking for validation

585
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: out for outside things, like I don't buy things because

586
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: I want to impress other people. I'm more of an

587
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: experienced person. Like if I want to go on a

588
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: trip or do something and take my family somewhere because

589
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 1: I want them to experience this, and I know what

590
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: this is gonna do for them when they're you know,

591
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: twenty five thirty years old, they've been to France and

592
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 1: they've been to these places and that place. Because that's

593
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: what the experience I got from my father, then I'll

594
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 1: do that. And I'm also a minimalist, like I would

595
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 1: think so too, Like I just I have things that

596
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: I'm into, like art, you know, wine, watches and stuff

597
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: like that, and cigars. But I'm not like gonna go

598
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: out here and buy thirty sports cars to prove a point,

599
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I'm not gonna go buy

600
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 1: you know, a bunch of stuff that I don't need.

601
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: And as far as like money and managing money, it's

602
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 1: just like I, you know, strive for financial freedom and

603
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 1: to being a place where, like I don't really have

604
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,280
Speaker 1: to do anything. If I don't ever want to do anything,

605
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 1: and I'm set, you know, and I could just live

606
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: my life and go live where I want to live,

607
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 1: whether that's abroad or that's here, that's there. And I

608
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: think to get to that is you got to make

609
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: sacrifices now so for later on in life you don't

610
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: have to work as hard and do as much because

611
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: you're already set up for that. And that takes like

612
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: understanding like how money works and the type of people

613
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: you got to bring around and aint. What you make

614
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: is what you save. And it's like you got to

615
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: figure out how to you know, get your your tax breaks.

616
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: And because as you as you're scaling, it's so like

617
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: the laws change so much. So the best thing you

618
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 1: do is have great financial people on your team so

619
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: they can help you navigate through. That's for us, yes, yes, yes, yeah,

620
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: I have trust. Yeah. And it's like as you're navigating

621
00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: these things, you know, things come up where you know

622
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: you might not understand something, but instant gratification is what

623
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: what gets you. Because you want to spend money right

624
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: now to look a certain way right now, and I

625
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: don't want to you know how I tell people, It's

626
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: like they call it shopping therapy. You know what I'm saying.

627
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 1: I'd rather go for a walk. I have my money

628
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: when I can do, But I tell people that you know.

629
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 1: It starts with you though, like because once you once

630
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: you trusting yourself, once you know who you are as

631
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: an individual, and what Because there's difference between wants and needs,

632
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like you may want something,

633
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: but you may not need it, you know what I'm saying.

634
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: Or you may want a bigger house, but like just

635
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: really think about it. You know, you're only in two rooms,

636
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. You may you know, there's

637
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: a time I went to my garage and it was

638
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: like so many cars I have charge the battery on

639
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 1: this one. Like I don't want to deal with all that,

640
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, I just want to

641
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: live a life to where And it's crazy because I

642
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,120
Speaker 1: sold all the cars, bought the lot next door, you

643
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I just like, if they sitting here,

644
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: we might as well just get that. But it's just

645
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: like making those type of decisions because again, you know,

646
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:25,360
Speaker 1: not pulling the arrowback. I've been in poverty and you

647
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: can't help nobody when you're doing bad as well, right,

648
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: and then I've been in a state of abundance, but

649
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: abundance only lasts so long. When you're being irresponsible with

650
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 1: things right, and then it's just like I want to

651
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: be creative and I want to try things. In order

652
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: to take these risks. I need cushion, you know what

653
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I need to know that if I go

654
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 1: out here and just get caught up in this passion

655
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 1: project that I want to do that could change the

656
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 1: world or not that I'm not going to break the bank,

657
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 1: you know, just going after something that my spirit is

658
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 1: telling me I'm going after. And then the last thing

659
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 1: I would say is like really taking the time to

660
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: read like a lot of like you know, just entrepreneur

661
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: books and financial books. It really helps because you're not

662
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: gonna get everything you need out of it, but you

663
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: become rehearse with the with the phrases and how things

664
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 1: are said and what things are So when your accountants

665
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: and these money people are running this stuff by you,

666
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: they're not just throwing this stuff over your head because

667
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,600
Speaker 1: you know they'll get you too, you know what I'm saying.

668
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: So at least you got an understanding of it. And

669
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: then having other brothers that you can actually sit down

670
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 1: and talk to them, go, hey, look I had a

671
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: conversation about this. What do you think about that? And

672
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 1: they might say you, oh no, that's that's that's that's

673
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 1: that's that's legitimate. But look, whyon't you talk to this

674
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 1: person so they can give you a better insight. And

675
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 1: I would think the best lesson I can say is

676
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:54,320
Speaker 1: stay curious, right, stay curious, right, ask those questions.

677
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 2: That's a good advice. That's a good advice on a

678
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 2: whole lot of time. The Lamborghini, the appreciating the real

679
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 2: estate is an appreciating asset. You're not really wealthy until

680
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 2: your money's making money money for you. Not when you're

681
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 2: making money, but when your money is making money, and

682
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: so that makes it that drives us toward appreciating assets.

683
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 2: But you're very, very important. And the reason it's important

684
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,879
Speaker 2: that we share what we know with each other, it's

685
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,760
Speaker 2: because we can never reproduce another generation of successful people

686
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 2: if we don't talk to each other. That so that

687
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 2: cross polonization is really good. I'm glad you're coming into

688
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,360
Speaker 2: your own and you're no longer having approved to anybody

689
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 2: what is already obvious to you. And that's that's coming

690
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 2: closer to loving you. Yeah, and that's that's where real

691
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 2: The Bible said love your neighbors, you love yourself, but

692
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 2: if you don't love you, you can't love everybody else.

693
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 2: So you got to learn how to love you. That

694
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 2: goes relationships. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can shout off

695
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 2: of that chapter number three diction.

696
00:36:59,040 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: Yeah.

697
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 2: You know you were talking earlier about your mother and

698
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 2: the hardships that you had and how your relationship developed

699
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 2: over time. And I applogged the fact that you stuck

700
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,760
Speaker 2: to it till you worked it out, because most people

701
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 2: when they run into a hardship, they throw you away,

702
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 2: they just walk away. But you hung in there and

703
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 2: worked it out. I understand that she had some kind

704
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 2: of a drug addiction problem that you had to work through.

705
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 2: How much of the fight was a result of her

706
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 2: not being herself and dealing with drugs?

707
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 1: Well, I think what she was on drugs when I

708
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 1: was a lot younger, and which means we cross paths

709
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,399
Speaker 1: like in the streets sometimes. But you were still my mother,

710
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: so I have respect for But this is the thing,

711
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 1: like when you say drugs, you know, in the era

712
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: I came up in, you know, the drugs that people

713
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 1: were doing would be like cannabis today, right, because it

714
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: was a regular day, Okay, like everybody pretty much was

715
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 1: you know, out here doing you know, crack and this

716
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: and that the third. But I was also in the trade.

717
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 1: So for me, my coming up in my family, this

718
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 1: was a normal thing, you know, hustled with my aunties,

719
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,760
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, like this, with my uncles

720
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: and my cousins. So it was like to me, it

721
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 1: was regular, you know what I'm saying. I didn't really

722
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: understand the concept of it until people I started to

723
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 1: you know, you know know started to go to prison

724
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: or you know, become you know, get underlive, and I'm

725
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,359
Speaker 1: just like, okay, let me understand this. If I stay

726
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,360
Speaker 1: in this, this is what happens. And my mom was

727
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 1: getting in her space where she was getting in the

728
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 1: better space. And when we moved there in the country,

729
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: she kind of sobered up. She started you know, living

730
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: her life. She wanted to travel, and I just sent

731
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 1: her to Vegas, the Bahamas and all this stuff, and

732
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: she just one day she just became you know, sober

733
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 1: and she was my mom again. But then she got

734
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 1: sick right after that, and so we was working on

735
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 1: our relationship and then she got sick. But I was

736
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: happening and on the road and stuff, and I never forget.

737
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: I was in Europe and I was doing this uh

738
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 1: this this European tour. And she called me. She's like,

739
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: hey baby, And this is around the time she was sick,

740
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,440
Speaker 1: you know. He said, hey baby, what are you doing.

741
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: I said, I'm getting on my bus. So I'm about

742
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,720
Speaker 1: to drive to Sweden. And she goes, yeah, the President

743
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 1: just shouted you out. And you know, I'm thinking she's

744
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: still I'm like, I'm like, yeah, a height, Mama, I'll

745
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 1: call you back. And she said, no, I'm gonna get

746
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: your sister to city to you. She got off the phone.

747
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 1: I ain't saying that. I get on the bus, you know,

748
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 1: relax for a little bit. Later, I get up and

749
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: look at my phone showing up my sister send me

750
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 1: a video and it was Obama shouting me out at

751
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 1: the Correspondence dinner. Now mind you, I'm thinking she's sick,

752
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But she would come in

753
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 1: and out like that, and that was kind of like

754
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: she was well enough to yeah. And so when I

755
00:39:54,560 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 1: would go sit with her, it was I'm gonna be honest,

756
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: like it was. My mom was so like powerful, like

757
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: she can move room. She was just she just had

758
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: that it. But when it went from that to me

759
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 1: pushing her around in a wheelchair and her holding a

760
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 1: baby doll. You know what I'm saying, it just did

761
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: something to me. It just it just yeah, it just

762
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: it brought me to a place where I'm like, wow,

763
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 1: I went through it, I know.

764
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 2: Yeah.

765
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,359
Speaker 1: And it was just like you know, she would It's

766
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: just certain things that she would do. And it was

767
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 1: just like even when I would go to the center

768
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: to feed her. You know, I'm coming off the road.

769
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 1: I'm touring twenty thirty forty thousand people a night, but

770
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: then I'm coming home and I'm sitting in this cafeteria

771
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 1: with my mom and it's like people in there there

772
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: sicker than she is, and I'm like, well, she shouldn't

773
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: even be here. And I'm feeding her and talking to her.

774
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:49,879
Speaker 1: And I did that too, yeah you know what I'm saying.

775
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 1: So it was just like this thing, but it was

776
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, how long is she gonna be able

777
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 1: to sustain this? And you know, again, like I say,

778
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 1: like the time I got to spend with her doing

779
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 1: this thing, I think was God's gift because I had

780
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: time to like really talk to her, and I know

781
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: she was listening at some point. Do you miss her?

782
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,800
Speaker 1: Of course, of course, Like you know, it's crazy. I

783
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: got this picture of her in my house when I

784
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 1: walk through, and I just always laugh because I know

785
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: she's looking at me. But in one of my properties

786
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: in the mountains, when I go out there, I got

787
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: this chair by the stream, one of my properties.

788
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 2: Well, anytime you got to deferciate which property than you're

789
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 2: talking about other way, you have probably a long way.

790
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 1: You saw where you came from.

791
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 2: But the reason I harp on that is it's like

792
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 2: coming in on the end of the movie. Sometimes people

793
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 2: catch you on the up part of your life and

794
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 2: they don't recognize all the stuff you had to climb

795
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 2: out of to get to where you are. And part

796
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 2: of the beauty of accomplishing what you've accomplished, even with

797
00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 2: all the setbacks, even with all the mistakes, is it's

798
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 2: how hard it was for you to climb out of

799
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 2: something that most people died in.

800
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I'm finishing. So what I was saying

801
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: at the stream is there's a chair, and I was

802
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: sitting in the chair, and it's just one yellow butterfly

803
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 1: that comes every time I sit in that chair, I

804
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: swear to you, was her, Wow, it'll come. It'll it's

805
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: every spring summer, it does it. So that's how I

806
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 1: know we're connected. But to answer your question about that's

807
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: my superpower being in these holes and being able to

808
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 1: climb out. That's why I laugh when you know my

809
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:37,879
Speaker 1: staffs bring me stuff because I'm just like, oh, y'all

810
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 1: have no idea like this is this is cake and

811
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: ice cream, But it's just like that's my I never

812
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: and that's how I know it's not me. I've never

813
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 1: been in anything that I haven't been able to get

814
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: out of. Like I've never been in a situation when

815
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: I was I going through it with out stress. Was

816
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 1: I worry? Absolutely? But it always works yourself out. And

817
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: it's like I could be sitting there and something will

818
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: come over me and he go call such and such

819
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: and I'll call this person. I said, Hey, how you doing?

820
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: You got a minute? Can I can we do lunch?

821
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: Can we talk? And I'll go talk to this person

822
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 1: and have been through something similar and we'll just have

823
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 1: this conversation and I'll just get this data and then

824
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 1: I'll go processing and I'll come up with my plan.

825
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,080
Speaker 1: I go, Okay, this is what I'm gonna do. Tell

826
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: me about the shooting you witness at your friend's house,

827
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 1: which oh in the book. So going back to what

828
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: I said about not knowing what the streets was because

829
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: I was so green coming from abroad, coming from Hawaiian Japan.

830
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 1: When I got back, there was a family friend. His

831
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: name was Marcus Clemens. He was a little bit older

832
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: than me at the time. He's probably a teenager then hustler,

833
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: you know, I was hustling on the street corner with him.

834
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 1: Very charismatic guy, probably about six four or six', three you,

835
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: know curly. Hair all the girls like, him SO i

836
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:03,399
Speaker 1: used to like hang around. HIM i was like his little.

837
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: Brother AND i left him one, night maybe around eleven

838
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: thirty to go. Home and the crazy thing is my

839
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,240
Speaker 1: grandmother never be CAUSE i was living with my grandmother

840
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 1: at the, Time like she never cared WHEN i came

841
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 1: in the, house like it wasn't no big. Deal SO

842
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: i left about eleven thirty CAUSE i had to go to,

843
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: school and My auntie came to peep me up for

844
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 1: school that morning around like seven, o'clock and we was

845
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,680
Speaker 1: driving in the town that my grandmother lived. In it's

846
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 1: not a big, town so he could pretty much see

847
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: everything that's going. On it was riding by the street

848
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: where we hang out at it AND i saw the

849
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 1: ambulance and the police up, there and my auntie, said,

850
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:39,800
Speaker 1: yeah you, know they they Shot marcus last night and

851
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: he was actually hustling and he was trying TO i

852
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 1: guess he was selling somebody something and they didn't have

853
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 1: all the money and they still wanted it and he

854
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 1: didn't want to give it to him because they didn't

855
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 1: have all the, money which he told me all the.

856
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 1: Time your price don't. Change whatever it. Is that's what you.

857
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,080
Speaker 1: Get if it's not, that you don't do. It and

858
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 1: it killed. Him but they actually they shot and killed.

859
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 1: Him this is the. Thing so my auntie says to, me,

860
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: Yeah marcus got. SHOT i, said, okay, COOL i see

861
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 1: him WHEN i get out of. School i'll go see.

862
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: Him you, Know i'm, thinking you, know at the. Hospital,

863
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 1: Yeah i'm not even thinking that. Far i'm just, like you,

864
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 1: know maybe got into alter. CASE i don't. KNOW i

865
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,840
Speaker 1: never heard shot, Before it's What i'm. Saying and she, said, no,

866
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,960
Speaker 1: baby he's, Gone AND i said. Gone, Well she's like

867
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: he's gone, forever and like ed WHEN i SAY i

868
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 1: couldn't process, that you know What i'm saying THAT i

869
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 1: had no idea that you can leave this, earth you,

870
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 1: know and that that put me in this place WHERE

871
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 1: i was. ANGRY i was, devastated BUT i also wanted

872
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: to make him proud because he had taught me so

873
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 1: many gifts of the, gap AND i immediately WHEN i

874
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 1: came home from, SCHOOL i went into this laser focused

875
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 1: hustling mode AND i was just, Like i'm about to

876
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,240
Speaker 1: do WHAT i gotta. Do AND i just really started

877
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: hustling on my own and just really being. Smart and

878
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 1: the thing THAT i prided myself home WAS i felt

879
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 1: like it was a mistake or how he was handling his,

880
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 1: business AND i just like prided myself on getting close

881
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 1: enough to people to learn from their mistakes and not

882
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: make the same. Mistakes BECAUSE i only had two rules

883
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 1: to myself WHEN i was in the, streets that just

884
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 1: don't go to prison and don't get. Killed anything ELSE

885
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 1: i can, handle AND i felt LIKE i did, that

886
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 1: but that was like my. Motivation no matter what, happens

887
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: you just don't go to prison and you don't get.

888
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:45,640
Speaker 1: Killed and if you could do, that you're gonna be all.

889
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: Right and THAT'S i went from. There and it's just

890
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:54,280
Speaker 1: like it also made my hard, cold If i'm, honest

891
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 1: because from that moment, ON i didn't really care about nothing,

892
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,879
Speaker 1: else include, myself you know What i'm. Saying so it's

893
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: just LIKE i was just so laser focus on just

894
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 1: surviving that by the time you, know you're talking years,

895
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 1: later when you're starting to hear these, things it didn't

896
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 1: even affect. ME i can literally be sitting down dinner

897
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: they'd be, like you, know such and such just got.

898
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:16,920
Speaker 1: Killed i'll be, like, damn that's, crazy, alright, cool keep

899
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 1: all my life BECAUSE i learned to. Compartmentalize so going

900
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: back to up until my mother, past you know What i'm,

901
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: SAYING i had learned to compartmentalize that as. Well but

902
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,320
Speaker 1: WHEN i start working on my healing, journey, yes you,

903
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 1: know and that oh my, God, yeah that's. Painful oh my,

904
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,280
Speaker 1: god it was like all that it was like EVERYBODY

905
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: i lost it hit me at one. Time. YEAH i bit,

906
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 1: LIKE i can't tell you how that hurt. Was and

907
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: it happened to me In. Vietnam. WOW i went to

908
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 1: this retreat AND i was In, vietnam and they had

909
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 1: this mountain where The king Of vietnam climbed the mountain

910
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 1: just like two thousand feet above sea level and that's

911
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 1: where he would have meditated for you, know his people.

912
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,640
Speaker 1: Whatever and it's on this in dissiness, land beautiful. Place

913
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 1: AND i climbed the, MOUNTAIN i did the, meditating AND

914
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 1: i came back and did the meditation session at. Night

915
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 1: and WHEN i laid in the, bed it felt like

916
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 1: my heart was falling from beneath the. BED I i

917
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 1: THOUGHT i was GONNA i literally THOUGHT i was gonna,

918
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: die you know What i'm. Saying and it's just LIKE

919
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 1: i opened my mouth in like this like screen like

920
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: it was LIKE i never felt like that. Before AND

921
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 1: i laid there AND i JUST i just laid there

922
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: AND i hurt for you, know just the whole. Night

923
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 1: and WHEN i woke up the next, MORNING i just

924
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 1: laid there AND i just you, KNOW i prayed and

925
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: it was almost LIKE i got my feelings, back because

926
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 1: before THAT i didn't feel.

927
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,839
Speaker 2: Anything you didn't feel, anything couldn't afford to let yourself feel. That, Yeah,

928
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 2: yeah it's. Avoidant chefted number four bell, sposely but at

929
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 2: the point that you climbed to sixty And i'm a

930
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 2: little less than that, now by the grace Of, god

931
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 2: who were you trying to eat your pain? Away?

932
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: YEAH i was so. Well the first thing that happened

933
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 1: around this time IS i taught my vocal cords BECAUSE

934
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: i have, polyps SO i taught my vocal cords. Performing

935
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 1: SO i really couldn't speak for almost a. Year. Wow

936
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: SO i had to get surgery AND i didn't Have

937
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: and this is like at the height of my, career

938
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: like the album was about to get ready to come,

939
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 1: out and you, KNOW i DIDN'T i didn't have insurance

940
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,320
Speaker 1: at the, time SO i had to pay for it

941
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 1: with a brown paper, bag you, know with the money and.

942
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 1: Whatever and we was all concerned THAT i would NEVER

943
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 1: i wouldn't sound the. Same it actually cleaned my voice

944
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 1: up a, little because my voice was very raspy, before

945
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 1: but it cleaned it up a little. Bit and right

946
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 1: after that, happened you, know of COURSE i had things

947
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:13,360
Speaker 1: going on in the street that was, happening BUT i

948
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 1: WAS i was going through this phase WHERE i was

949
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 1: depressed because everybody around me was getting snatched up and

950
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 1: going to prison or either getting, killed AND i didn't

951
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 1: know IF i was gonna make. It and around this

952
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 1: time WHEN i tore my vocal, cords the album finally came.

953
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 1: Out somebody before it came. Out four weeks before it came,

954
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 1: out somebody bootlegged and gave it away to the, streets

955
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 1: and all the bootleggers had. It so on my, Mind

956
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 1: i'm three million dollars in BECAUSE i paid for it,

957
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 1: myself And i'm, like my album's. OUT i don't even

958
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: know if the label was gonna even support it at this.

959
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 1: Point So i'm already thinking that WHAT i got to

960
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 1: do to get back to the, streets because now that's

961
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 1: the Position i'm. In so when it comes, out it

962
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 1: does about one eight nine the first. Week next week

963
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 1: it does about another one eighty, nine and it just

964
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 1: keeps going and things are starting to look on the bright.

965
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 1: Side THEN i got hit With bell's palsy AND i

966
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 1: was doing. SOMETHING i went in the marry. One, DAMN

967
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: i just my whole face was like, crooked and my arm,

968
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,919
Speaker 1: was you, know a little bit. OFF i couldn't really

969
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 1: move it like it wasn't mobile it should. Be and you,

970
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:23,040
Speaker 1: know my first mind is, like oh, WOW i THOUGHT

971
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 1: i had a, stroke you know What i'm. SAYING i

972
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 1: was just, Like, okay this is gonna be what my

973
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: life is. Like and so HOW i got up to two.

974
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 1: SIXTIES i was, hiding okay BECAUSE i couldn't, talk and

975
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: THEN i Had bell's, palsy so it's almost LIKE i

976
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 1: didn't want people to see me BECAUSE i didn't know

977
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 1: what was going. On AND i was one of those

978
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:44,239
Speaker 1: kind of old school guys where it's just like you

979
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 1: think you're gonna put some vicked vapor rub on. Everything

980
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:51,520
Speaker 1: you know What i'm, Saying you still wait long, enough

981
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 1: you'll be all. Right grandma my, head and you, know

982
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: my mom was just, like you gotta go the docta,

983
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 1: baby and you, KNOW i went to the doctor and

984
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 1: of course to come to Mad bell's. Party SO i

985
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,839
Speaker 1: worked through. That But i'm gonna be, honest, like that's

986
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,840
Speaker 1: probably one of the scariest moments of my life BECAUSE

987
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: i was, There like the records were, SELLING i had

988
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 1: shows booked up THAT i couldn't even perform at BECAUSE

989
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,600
Speaker 1: i ain't have a. Voice BUT i was finally, there

990
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: and the only THING i kept thinking about was like,

991
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,399
Speaker 1: karma Because i'm, like what DID i do to get

992
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,240
Speaker 1: this close for it to get taken. Away and again

993
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 1: that's that bow and, arrow BECAUSE i felt like he

994
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 1: brought me back to humble me and, said all, right

995
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 1: And i'm giving You i'm letting you borrow this. Gift

996
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,840
Speaker 1: i'm letting you borrow this. Gift, now how you go

997
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 1: forward is doing depending on how long you keep. It

998
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: AND i knew then it was a position in leadership

999
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 1: because WHEN i came out of the rut AND i

1000
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 1: started to come back, around this is. Around it took

1001
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: me about almost three albums to get back to, myself

1002
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 1: and that third album Was The, Recession and to, me

1003
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 1: that's one of my best holts BECAUSE i, actually like you,

1004
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 1: know studied And Washington, news AND i knew so much

1005
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:05,680
Speaker 1: about the. World that's WHEN i was Writing My President's

1006
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: Black and this is WHEN i went on my health.

1007
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: JOURNEY i started that dropped almost like seventy, pounds AND

1008
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: i started doing these shows for The recession tour AND

1009
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 1: i would literally be on stage and they would be

1010
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: throwing stuff AND i thought it was like trash or,

1011
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: something and then my security, said, no, sir those are,

1012
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 1: brawls AND i was, like, oh, wow this is. It

1013
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 1: i'm never going, back you know What i'm, Saying and you,

1014
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 1: KNOW i just became this like this this you, know this,

1015
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: culture you, know Sex. Sybold i'm just, like, wow this is.

1016
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 1: Amazing and just three years before, THAT i was in

1017
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: the most depressing time of my. Life and you, know

1018
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 1: so IF i say anything about The Bells, palsies just

1019
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 1: like you got to take care of yourself out. Here

1020
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 1: AND i learned that BECAUSE i was like one of

1021
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:53,480
Speaker 1: those people, like you, KNOW i don't got drink, WATER

1022
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 1: i ain't got to eat. Clean you, KNOW i just

1023
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,359
Speaker 1: was living on the, edge you, know BECAUSE i didn't

1024
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: really and If i'm, honest it's LIKE i didn't like

1025
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:07,279
Speaker 1: my first. ALBUM i wasn't even playing In. Christmas you

1026
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:09,240
Speaker 1: know What i'm. Saying around that, time LIKE i didn't

1027
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 1: plan BECAUSE i didn't, Know LIKE i didn't want to

1028
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 1: have any, expectations you know What i'm, Saying because it's

1029
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 1: just like things were happening so fast you didn't. Know

1030
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:18,839
Speaker 1: and around The recession is WHEN i The recession album

1031
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 1: is WHEN i started coming to my. Space The bells

1032
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,320
Speaker 1: posy was, gone my voice was, BAD i was talking,

1033
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:26,800
Speaker 1: GREAT i was looking, GREAT i was feeling. Good and

1034
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 1: that's WHEN i really started to taking. Life that's when

1035
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 1: my healing journey. STARTED i started to take life, seriously

1036
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 1: like eating, right make SURE i got, rest you, know

1037
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 1: just doing the things THAT i knew how to do

1038
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 1: BEFORE i started expanding it BECAUSE i felt good AND

1039
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 1: i felt in a great. Place but THEN i also

1040
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 1: felt healthy BECAUSE i was working a. Lot LIKE i

1041
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:46,960
Speaker 1: was on like tours back to, back AND i wasn't

1042
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 1: like on tours with like you, know like you, know

1043
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,800
Speaker 1: up and. COMING i was like jay Z, rihanna you,

1044
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 1: Know Kanye like it was LIKE i was out there

1045
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 1: with people who do this for a, living, right and

1046
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 1: HERE i am the street guy trying to figure it

1047
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 1: out AS i. Go but you, know being healthy was

1048
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 1: one of the things that got me through. It and

1049
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:12,319
Speaker 1: then also like connecting with my fans When i'm even

1050
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 1: call them, fans but my, supporters because you, know they

1051
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 1: saw me get in a better place, too and it,

1052
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 1: just you, know kind of brought my spirits up because,

1053
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 1: now you, know like people were actually seeing me do,

1054
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,839
Speaker 1: better you know What i'm, saying rather than what they,

1055
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 1: knew BECAUSE i was just like this hood guy over.

1056
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 1: Polarizing you, Know i'm drinking all Day i'm hanging, Out i'm,

1057
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 1: everywhere and it's just LIKE i really didn't have a

1058
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 1: sense of WHAT i was doing or WHERE i was,

1059
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 1: going and it was just LIKE i WAS i was

1060
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: just a wreck waiting to, happen you, Know AND i

1061
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 1: came out of. That So i'll tell, anybody take care

1062
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 1: you start playing chapter number five. Theater. Yeah do you

1063
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 1: think that has something to do with your? Music your?

1064
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 2: Lyrics how you did that in some way vent your

1065
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,239
Speaker 2: soul as you as she wrote your?

1066
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,880
Speaker 1: Songs and WHAT i? Think two. THINGS i think the

1067
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 1: first thing is again WHEN i Was, hawaii at this

1068
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 1: girl in my homeroom class like the first, class you're

1069
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 1: going to beautiful, girl AND i try to talk To

1070
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: i'm the country kid coming from The, south you, know

1071
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:30,719
Speaker 1: talk real geechee or, whatever and she didn't like. Me

1072
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 1: AND i never understood, that And i'm, like you, Know

1073
00:56:33,480 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 1: i'm used to getting WHAT i. Want SO i just

1074
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: LIKE i contemplated on this plan to start writing the,

1075
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 1: poems and every Day i'll be sitting at the table

1076
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 1: AFTER i do my. Homework my dad like what you.

1077
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,359
Speaker 1: Doing i'm like writing this girl poem AND i would

1078
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 1: leave a poem on her desk every, morning and the

1079
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: more POEMS i left, her the more she comes. In she's, like, Hey,

1080
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 1: jay how you doing? Today and she ended up being my. Girlfriend.

1081
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:59,280
Speaker 1: Right SO i saw what words did BECAUSE i realized

1082
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 1: THAT i was a great writer BECAUSE i could express

1083
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 1: myself WHEN i, write AND i was putting things together

1084
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 1: THAT i normally couldn't put, together BUT i wanted something

1085
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 1: out of. It AND i think the second part for

1086
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 1: me was WHEN i got introduced To tupac she called

1087
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 1: like something with him resonated with me BECAUSE i had

1088
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:20,440
Speaker 1: never seen someone that was a revolutionary that stood for.

1089
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 1: Something like my, uncles they didn't really stand for. Nothing

1090
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 1: they kind of was just like trying to make their

1091
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,960
Speaker 1: way in the. System but they wasn't like. Rebels they

1092
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 1: never told, me hey, man you know you got to

1093
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 1: stand up for what you believe. In so WHEN i

1094
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: kind of started to understand What tupac was, doing it

1095
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 1: just resonated with me so much that it made me

1096
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 1: want to go be a rebel in a. Sense and

1097
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 1: WHEN i got back to The states and you, know

1098
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 1: living my life or, whatever all the things THAT i went,

1099
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 1: THROUGH i was, Like, yo these are, stories AND i

1100
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:56,320
Speaker 1: kind of saw what he did because he was very,

1101
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 1: poetic AND i was, like, man you know WHEN i

1102
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 1: started to try to do, music at FIRST i was

1103
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 1: being A ceo that didn't. Work and then one of

1104
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:08,240
Speaker 1: my friends is, like, man you should write because it's your,

1105
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 1: life it's what you're. Living AND i just started. Writing

1106
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 1: AND i went back to WHAT i knew back then

1107
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:18,560
Speaker 1: of saying the words THAT i was. Saying but this

1108
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 1: time it wasn't poetry to get a. Woman this time

1109
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 1: it was poetry to connect with my. People you know

1110
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 1: What i'm, saying BECAUSE i knew what to say in

1111
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 1: this language of the streets that most people can't talk

1112
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: because they don't know the. LINGO i understood the lingo

1113
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 1: because it was LIKE i just spent you, know ten

1114
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 1: fifteen years of my life avoiding the law enforcement by

1115
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 1: being able to talk and lingo on the. Phone you

1116
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:45,560
Speaker 1: know What i'm, saying because if you say one, thing

1117
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 1: you out of, here one wrong. THING i got so

1118
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 1: great at it that when it was time to write the,

1119
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 1: music it was LIKE i was. Over because at FIRST

1120
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,440
Speaker 1: i had an imposter syndron BECAUSE i would be in

1121
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: the studio with like the greats Jay z's and T

1122
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: i s and all these, people but they were great

1123
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: artists because they had been. Rapping since they've been, RAPPING

1124
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 1: i hadn't been doing that that. Long but WHAT i

1125
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 1: knew IS i had this superpower of this lingo and

1126
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:17,280
Speaker 1: this understanding of what street culture was that they, didn't

1127
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: AND i didn't have to talk to the. MASSES i

1128
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:22,200
Speaker 1: can go over the masses and talk to the people

1129
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:25,040
Speaker 1: because they can't do, that you know What i'm, Saying

1130
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 1: because they. Wasn't they was more so trying to serve the.

1131
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,640
Speaker 1: WORLD i just KNEW i wanted to talk to those

1132
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 1: people over. There was.

1133
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 2: THERE i asked you this Because i've had this feeling

1134
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 2: when you first started doing, it and maybe even now

1135
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 2: it's kind of like showing your baby to the. World,

1136
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 2: yeah is there a certain amount of? Trepidation in trepidation

1137
00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 2: that you feel as you put it out? There will

1138
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 2: they like? It will they get? It do they understand?

1139
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 2: That do you go through all those kinds of.

1140
00:59:57,120 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 1: CHANGES i used. To of, Course i'm still like reluctant of,

1141
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:05,520
Speaker 1: like you, know certain THINGS i think, Out but When

1142
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:10,120
Speaker 1: i'm in my When i'm in my, energy like my

1143
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:13,479
Speaker 1: it's LIKE i know What i'm supposed to be. Doing

1144
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 1: you know What i'm, saying it's just, like you gotta do,

1145
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 1: this like this is this is a non. Negotiable but

1146
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 1: When i'm being creative in a space Where i'm trying

1147
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 1: to do new things and maybe they're like, this maybe they,

1148
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 1: won't that's WHEN i get a Little but when it's

1149
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 1: LIKE i wake up and my spirit is telling, me

1150
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 1: this is WHAT i gotta. DO i gotta go do

1151
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 1: that so win losers, DRAW i gotta go do, that

1152
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 1: AND i can't even think about it because it's calling

1153
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 1: me to do. This but when you're being creative and

1154
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,240
Speaker 1: you're trying to like make like, music, okay and this

1155
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 1: is What i'm gonna say When i'm doing. It WHEN

1156
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 1: i was making music AND i got in a space

1157
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:53,520
Speaker 1: WHERE i became so successful that the labels and everybody

1158
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: was telling, me you got to make these type of.

1159
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 1: Songs you're gonna sell these type of. Records WHEN i

1160
01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 1: went for, that, yes that's WHEN i was nervous because

1161
01:01:01,240 --> 01:01:03,600
Speaker 1: that wasn't. Me you know What i'm, saying, Saying i've

1162
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 1: been sold this dream OF i can become so wealthy

1163
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 1: and so. Great and then WHEN i bump my, HEAD

1164
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 1: i started to realize, it like you, know and not

1165
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 1: pointing them things anybody else CAN i take full. ACCOUNTABILITY

1166
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 1: i start to realize that you can't let people manipulate

1167
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 1: you into doing what they want you to do with

1168
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 1: what you have built and this trust you have with your.

1169
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: People if you do what's true in your, heart then

1170
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: if it doesn't, work it still doesn't matter because it's

1171
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,600
Speaker 1: going to lead you to the next, thing and that's gonna.

1172
01:01:35,640 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 2: Work see what a lot of PEOPLE i think don't

1173
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 2: understand about labels or sometimes. Publishers IF i want IF

1174
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 2: i went to a label and it SAID i wanted

1175
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 2: to do a song about stabbing cats and skinning them,

1176
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 2: alive terrible by the, Way yeah, yeah, yeah there would

1177
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 2: be no, question absolutely. Not but IF i SAY i

1178
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 2: want to do a song about shoot people in the,

1179
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 2: street shooting other brothers in the, street that's, okay.

1180
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:05,800
Speaker 1: Right AND.

1181
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 2: I think in some ways they want to shape how

1182
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 2: the world sees us by only showing one dimension of

1183
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 2: the black. Experience and it is a legitimate, experience but

1184
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:20,880
Speaker 2: it's not the only.

1185
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:24,360
Speaker 1: Experience well it's the only experience that it's going to bring. You,

1186
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:29,080
Speaker 1: see this is the. Thing AND i told somebody this

1187
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: Other i've never heard a country singer talk about going

1188
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 1: and hunt and kill another country, singer. Right that ain't

1189
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:40,880
Speaker 1: with their, selling, Right but it's our, Trauma Like Sa, fancis,

1190
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 1: like the more trauma you, have the better of a

1191
01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:48,400
Speaker 1: story that you're going to. Tell and while you're telling that,

1192
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:52,440
Speaker 1: story and you're incorporating what's going on the tension bills

1193
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 1: because you're talking about real people and real. Things so

1194
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 1: these people are doing things behind the scenes that we

1195
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,320
Speaker 1: all know culture lead that are happening from people getting

1196
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:05,400
Speaker 1: killed and all these things going on that bill for

1197
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: great story, overall because you get to see it in real,

1198
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: time and those great stories come with a lot of,

1199
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 1: money you know What i'm. Saying so they're giving these

1200
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 1: kids with all this, trauma you, know these tens and

1201
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 1: twenties of millions of dollars for these, stories knowing that

1202
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:23,640
Speaker 1: at some point all this stuff is gonna catch up

1203
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,920
Speaker 1: with them and they're gonna be. Killed but that doesn't

1204
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,280
Speaker 1: matter because IF i own your masters and your, publishing

1205
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,680
Speaker 1: then that MEANS i get this money For it's like

1206
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:36,040
Speaker 1: getting somebody's real estate portfolio for. Free you're gonna get paid.

1207
01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:39,920
Speaker 1: Forever and they understand, that because that's the. Business and

1208
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 1: they'll set you up in the sense of that is

1209
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,720
Speaker 1: because long as you tell me all the, Times i'm

1210
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 1: gonna get a rose. Rus he's, like, well if you

1211
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 1: don't get your mind, right you're gonna just be a

1212
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 1: person in the Rose ruce with with you, know a

1213
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:54,360
Speaker 1: crazy person in Rose russ because you still have to

1214
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: work on. You and my thing is with this, culture

1215
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 1: WHAT i don't like about it, is you, know there's

1216
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 1: so many other things that we can talk about instead

1217
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 1: of hunting each other. Down and the way they're teaching

1218
01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:12,760
Speaker 1: these this younger generation to be significant is IF i

1219
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 1: can take your, life BECAUSE i already go out in my,

1220
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 1: MIND i can't go be successful and nothing. Else but

1221
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:20,680
Speaker 1: this is going to give me instant gratification and power

1222
01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 1: Because i'm significant BECAUSE i can do something to hurt.

1223
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 1: You and you know it's true because look at. It

1224
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 1: look at how it Is. Bishop you, know you grew.

1225
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 1: UP i grew. Up you, Know yaller might have had

1226
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 1: a thirty eight. Special you know What i'm, saying that's six.

1227
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 1: Shots you know they're giving these, kids you, know fully

1228
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 1: automatic handguns that can shoot you, know seventy to eighty

1229
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 1: one hundred rounds in twenty. Seconds like who you trying?

1230
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 2: To you?

1231
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:49,200
Speaker 1: Know you overkilling? Right, so and the thing one of

1232
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:53,880
Speaker 1: my great friends always told me is the money's in the.

1233
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:58,880
Speaker 1: Snakes the money's in the snakes. Pity so in order

1234
01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 1: to get this, culture money that is there is, There

1235
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 1: but you gotta stick your hand in this snake pit

1236
01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:08,720
Speaker 1: and you Gotta you're gonna get, Big you're gonna get you,

1237
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:10,840
Speaker 1: know all these things are gonna happen to you because

1238
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 1: the money is. There because the money is in our.

1239
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: Trauma it is in our it's in our, dysfunction it's

1240
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:22,120
Speaker 1: in the it's in our inability to deal with life.

1241
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:25,480
Speaker 1: Sober you know What i'm. Saying it's just like there's

1242
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:30,120
Speaker 1: no poetry in it. Anymore it's really basically a commercial

1243
01:05:30,200 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 1: to go out here and feel it's okay to take

1244
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 1: somebody away from their family because you felt, Disrespected and

1245
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:42,360
Speaker 1: that to me says that they don't have conflict resolution

1246
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,600
Speaker 1: or anything else to live. For because IF i looked

1247
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:47,520
Speaker 1: at it like, that there's a lot of wet pillows

1248
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:51,240
Speaker 1: in the penitentiary and it's just, like why would why

1249
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 1: WOULD i have to harm? You you didn't hurt my.

1250
01:05:55,040 --> 01:05:58,360
Speaker 1: Family you can touch my. KID i, mean you didn't

1251
01:05:58,440 --> 01:06:01,080
Speaker 1: do anything to me, personally but you said something to

1252
01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:04,400
Speaker 1: me on this. App you know What i'm, saying this

1253
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:08,919
Speaker 1: this piece of, technology you said something that was disrespectful

1254
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:10,760
Speaker 1: and that in my, Mind i'm, LIKE i can't let

1255
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,640
Speaker 1: the world see me go out like. That and like

1256
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 1: one of my great guys, say a bad day for

1257
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:18,600
Speaker 1: the ego is a great day for the, soul because

1258
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:21,400
Speaker 1: it's just like WHEN i had to swallow my, ego

1259
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 1: probably one of the hardest THINGS i ever had to.

1260
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:28,800
Speaker 1: Do but WHEN i tell, you when time passed AND

1261
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 1: i saw the things THAT i escaped and started to, understand, Like,

1262
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 1: okay this is the mastery of being a real. MAN

1263
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 1: a real man is gonna tell you That i'm gonna

1264
01:06:38,720 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 1: protect My you come to my. House we ain't got

1265
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 1: even had this. Conversation you know What i'm. Saying you come, by,

1266
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:45,840
Speaker 1: yall we gotta talk about. It, like Because i'm still

1267
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:47,760
Speaker 1: that once a, line you always a. Lie you're gonna keep,

1268
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:49,960
Speaker 1: teeth you know What i'm, Saying, like that's not even the,

1269
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,240
Speaker 1: point you know What i'm. Saying AND i can handle

1270
01:06:52,320 --> 01:06:54,400
Speaker 1: myself PHYSICALLY i, box you, know at least five six

1271
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:58,120
Speaker 1: times a, Week Like i'm, not there's no fear. Here

1272
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:01,080
Speaker 1: but then If i'm going be in a real leadership,

1273
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,720
Speaker 1: POSITION i can look at you just LIKE i would

1274
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 1: look at my dad and say that's Just. JAY i

1275
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:06,600
Speaker 1: can look at you say that's just. Him this guy

1276
01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:08,760
Speaker 1: has more to do with him than. Me and that's

1277
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,520
Speaker 1: the part THAT i don't like about the, music BECAUSE

1278
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:13,720
Speaker 1: i feel like it's a commercial for us to go

1279
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 1: out here and just continue to keep killing each other

1280
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,560
Speaker 1: and not be able to go support events because you're

1281
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,120
Speaker 1: scared of what's gonna, happen and you're seeing these kids

1282
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:23,040
Speaker 1: going to. Prison and if you really look at it right,

1283
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:26,560
Speaker 1: now you got all these multi median theres that are

1284
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:29,360
Speaker 1: basically Running fortune five hundred companies that are in and

1285
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:31,680
Speaker 1: out of prison because nobody's sitting there telling them, like,

1286
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:35,240
Speaker 1: man you made it you. Out i'm saying you're, good,

1287
01:07:35,680 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 1: right you're, safe you, know, yeah, brother you don't have

1288
01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: To and then if you feel like you need security to,

1289
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 1: go be just some ticket. Service.

1290
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 2: Yeah and then then a lot of the people that

1291
01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 2: are rapping now didn't come from the. Hood they're living

1292
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:50,360
Speaker 2: In beverly. Hills, yeah and not even.

1293
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 1: That even if they, did they're they're not old enough

1294
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:57,480
Speaker 1: to understand what that even truly. Means that's a.

1295
01:07:57,600 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 2: BLESSING i can't help but keep drawing a line in

1296
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:06,760
Speaker 2: my mind between you going into a senior citizen's complex

1297
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:12,160
Speaker 2: to feed your mother and taking that same line and

1298
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 2: drawing it into developing music to feed the culture, yep

1299
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:22,920
Speaker 2: and drawing that line from feeding the culture as you

1300
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:28,639
Speaker 2: grow and change and demanded the right to get out

1301
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:33,759
Speaker 2: of the snake pit to start feeding them more wholesome

1302
01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:39,639
Speaker 2: sides of yourself and. Business your. Feeder, WOW i never heard.

1303
01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 2: THAT i love, that your. FEEDER i love. That so your,

1304
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 2: propensity your fulfillment comes from, feeding because everything you sit

1305
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 2: here and tell me about in some way.

1306
01:08:55,520 --> 01:09:01,439
Speaker 1: Your. FEEDER i love. That, Brother that's really that's really

1307
01:09:01,640 --> 01:09:02,280
Speaker 1: interesting to.

1308
01:09:02,400 --> 01:09:04,080
Speaker 2: Me what you.

1309
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:06,439
Speaker 1: Think you. Know WHEN i was, Young i'm type of

1310
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 1: person like if somebody was coming over with my grandmother's, house,

1311
01:09:10,320 --> 01:09:12,400
Speaker 1: Like i'm gonna make sure they eat BEFORE i even

1312
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:14,639
Speaker 1: see you know What i'm. Saying see WHAT i? Mean,

1313
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:16,720
Speaker 1: OH i feel, Rude, like by the, way this. Ain't

1314
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,080
Speaker 1: this ain't what you're doing over port, Chops like you're

1315
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 1: not waiting on. Nobody But i'm just like you want,

1316
01:09:22,920 --> 01:09:25,479
Speaker 1: some you, Know but BEFORE i even, Eat, yes make

1317
01:09:25,479 --> 01:09:27,760
Speaker 1: sure you. Straight THEN i might get a little bit

1318
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:29,879
Speaker 1: of the scraps and keep it. Moving that's interesting.

1319
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 2: Though it's interesting because when you're a, feeder you have

1320
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:39,640
Speaker 2: a responsibility to make sure that what you feed to

1321
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:46,000
Speaker 2: the people is life giving and not life. Taking all

1322
01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:48,759
Speaker 2: the things about being rough and tough in the line

1323
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:50,920
Speaker 2: and the, teeth the line eventually loses his.

1324
01:09:51,080 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 1: Teeth if you.

1325
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:56,960
Speaker 2: Live long, enough you won't be able to come down

1326
01:09:57,040 --> 01:10:03,439
Speaker 2: the steps shooting. Everybody oh that's a. Season but the

1327
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:10,680
Speaker 2: heart that feeds leads and it stays all the way

1328
01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:16,479
Speaker 2: down to the. End what do you think you're performing down? Here?

1329
01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:18,080
Speaker 1: Dollars? Yes what do?

1330
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:21,200
Speaker 2: You what are you going to feed the people that

1331
01:10:21,439 --> 01:10:25,160
Speaker 2: come to hear? You and what responsibility do? You, wow

1332
01:10:25,240 --> 01:10:26,200
Speaker 2: it's crazy you to say. That.

1333
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:32,559
Speaker 1: BEST i mean it's. Threefold the first fold Is i'm

1334
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:39,000
Speaker 1: actually here with an orchestra to celebrate the twentieth anniversary

1335
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:42,600
Speaker 1: of my first, Album Doug motivation one on. One and

1336
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:47,360
Speaker 1: the first fold is to show the generation that's coming

1337
01:10:47,439 --> 01:10:51,280
Speaker 1: up behind me that you can give yourself permission to

1338
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:55,479
Speaker 1: evolve and for your art to get better and evolve

1339
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:58,320
Speaker 1: with you over, time so that you won't be boxed.

1340
01:10:58,400 --> 01:11:00,960
Speaker 1: In because IF i was celebrating twenty years of What

1341
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:03,439
Speaker 1: i'm doing And i'm just doing the same, thing that's

1342
01:11:03,479 --> 01:11:05,240
Speaker 1: clear to see That i'm stuck where i was. At

1343
01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:09,959
Speaker 1: But i'm elevating my you, Know i'm elevating the packaging

1344
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:12,280
Speaker 1: of this what it is so that you can see

1345
01:11:12,320 --> 01:11:14,760
Speaker 1: this that you don't got to be out here hunting

1346
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:18,120
Speaker 1: your brothers to. Evolve, right this is a whole NOTHER

1347
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:20,880
Speaker 1: i came, from what you came. From this is what

1348
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:24,599
Speaker 1: evelation looks. Like and this is my purpose to inspire

1349
01:11:24,880 --> 01:11:28,680
Speaker 1: the culture to. Elevate the second fold would be for

1350
01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:34,320
Speaker 1: people like myself that understand what evolution is and they're

1351
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:37,280
Speaker 1: accepting and they're okay with. It it's to come celebrate

1352
01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:41,640
Speaker 1: twenty years of you because this is your journey as.

1353
01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:44,519
Speaker 1: WELL i just had the soundtrack for, it AND i

1354
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:46,880
Speaker 1: want you to come look in your BEST i want

1355
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:49,960
Speaker 1: you to put on your black, tie your black dress

1356
01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:52,240
Speaker 1: because we're celebrating you and we're doing this together And

1357
01:11:52,280 --> 01:11:54,840
Speaker 1: i'm going to bring this experience to you That i've

1358
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:58,080
Speaker 1: never seen Until i've done, it which was a symphony

1359
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:02,200
Speaker 1: in the, orchestra because this is what you which is

1360
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:06,840
Speaker 1: wild by the, way, Right, Yeah so this brings the

1361
01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:11,680
Speaker 1: evolution together and people get a chance to see how

1362
01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:14,439
Speaker 1: great they look and celebrate. Themselves And i'll say the

1363
01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:17,280
Speaker 1: last part is exactly what you said the. Feeding it's just,

1364
01:12:17,439 --> 01:12:20,280
Speaker 1: like how CAN i get my people to see that

1365
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:23,880
Speaker 1: even if it is art and music or whatever else we're,

1366
01:12:23,920 --> 01:12:28,320
Speaker 1: doing we cannot stop, growing like we have to keep,

1367
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:30,519
Speaker 1: growing we have to keep. Evolving we have to keep

1368
01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:33,920
Speaker 1: creating these spaces where it's safe for us. Too like

1369
01:12:34,040 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 1: if you go into this, event you're not worried about

1370
01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:38,200
Speaker 1: what's going to happen because you're considered in the rap.

1371
01:12:38,280 --> 01:12:41,200
Speaker 1: Concert you're going to celebrate with other like minded, people

1372
01:12:41,560 --> 01:12:44,559
Speaker 1: And i'm hoping you leaving motivated and inspired to say

1373
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:46,880
Speaker 1: like this is this is this is, us this is

1374
01:12:46,920 --> 01:12:48,960
Speaker 1: what we should look like because every time you see

1375
01:12:49,040 --> 01:12:51,400
Speaker 1: us in the, news all you see is we hurt each,

1376
01:12:51,400 --> 01:12:53,840
Speaker 1: other killing each, other or we're doing something we shouldn't be.

1377
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:56,280
Speaker 1: Doing and this is a celebration of the people who

1378
01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:58,639
Speaker 1: chose to go to other raupe and they actually actually

1379
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:00,840
Speaker 1: living their dreams and living their life even doing what they're,

1380
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:03,200
Speaker 1: doing and they get to celebrate in this moment and

1381
01:13:03,240 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 1: they're dressed to the, nines and you get to see

1382
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:10,439
Speaker 1: this black conduct that his brother conduct this orchestra and

1383
01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:13,360
Speaker 1: he wrote the music and, everything and see all these

1384
01:13:13,439 --> 01:13:17,200
Speaker 1: people on the stage that are actually helping me again

1385
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:20,200
Speaker 1: align it with my. Vision their goal is to be a.

1386
01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:22,840
Speaker 1: Musician my vision is to elevate my. Coach and we're

1387
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:26,559
Speaker 1: doing this. Together and we actually put out an album

1388
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:33,040
Speaker 1: of the show of The Semphonic, experience a version OF

1389
01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:36,720
Speaker 1: tm one on. One it's A Dalla. Symphony, well, no

1390
01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:39,560
Speaker 1: this is the color of. Noise. Okay, yeah SO i

1391
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:43,640
Speaker 1: actually put together set brown and when is this?

1392
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:46,880
Speaker 2: Air we haven't put a date on it, Yet. Okay

1393
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:52,120
Speaker 2: but the thing that's amazing when a woman is, pregnant

1394
01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:54,920
Speaker 2: one of the first things that doctor tells her is

1395
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,160
Speaker 2: to watch what she eats and watch what she, drinks

1396
01:13:57,280 --> 01:14:02,640
Speaker 2: because whatever she and jests goes into the. Baby WHAT

1397
01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:05,679
Speaker 2: i THINK i hear you saying is that you. Evolve,

1398
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:14,799
Speaker 2: uh your milk is becoming more. Wholesome okay sometimes and oddly,

1399
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:18,360
Speaker 2: enough in your, world it takes more courage to be

1400
01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:23,080
Speaker 2: wholesome than it does to be, ratchet because ratchet is Easily.

1401
01:14:23,080 --> 01:14:27,960
Speaker 1: Yeah ratchet, works, Yees ratchet. Works yeah, yeah ratchet is. Good.

1402
01:14:28,320 --> 01:14:31,760
Speaker 1: YEAH i mean you're hearing that. World but so you're

1403
01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:35,439
Speaker 1: making when you're making wholesome, decisions, yeah you gotta get pushed.

1404
01:14:35,479 --> 01:14:37,120
Speaker 2: Back you're going to get pushed. Back so if you're

1405
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:41,040
Speaker 2: the Pat piper and and all of these people are following,

1406
01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:42,840
Speaker 2: you where where are you taking?

1407
01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:47,120
Speaker 1: Them where AM i taking? Them i'm gonna be honest with. You,

1408
01:14:47,280 --> 01:14:51,000
Speaker 1: VISIT i Ask god that every, morning where are you taking?

1409
01:14:51,080 --> 01:14:54,320
Speaker 1: This what are you having me to? Do BECAUSE i

1410
01:14:54,479 --> 01:14:57,479
Speaker 1: just WHEN i get, UP i just know. It i'm

1411
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:00,559
Speaker 1: just walking And I'm i'm And i'm And i'm walking

1412
01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:03,160
Speaker 1: And i'm staying focused And i'm just listening for the

1413
01:15:03,240 --> 01:15:05,960
Speaker 1: signs And i'm watching for the. Signs and IF i

1414
01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:12,680
Speaker 1: think it's, ANYTHING i think it's to to to to

1415
01:15:13,080 --> 01:15:18,599
Speaker 1: show that there is another, route there is another, Way

1416
01:15:19,280 --> 01:15:22,840
Speaker 1: and we can't be we can't be afraid of taking

1417
01:15:22,920 --> 01:15:27,840
Speaker 1: that detour because we've walked in this path for too,

1418
01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:31,720
Speaker 1: long of this destruction and everything that we come into

1419
01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:36,800
Speaker 1: grasp with it always, Implodes it never it never gets

1420
01:15:36,880 --> 01:15:38,880
Speaker 1: us to where we need to. Go and it's just

1421
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:41,439
Speaker 1: like even with all our leaders and everything that, happen

1422
01:15:41,520 --> 01:15:44,320
Speaker 1: it's always they take them away or this happened or that,

1423
01:15:44,439 --> 01:15:46,360
Speaker 1: happened or this happened and that, happened and it's just

1424
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:49,400
Speaker 1: like when you look at the, world it is the

1425
01:15:49,760 --> 01:15:54,680
Speaker 1: way it is. Now i've never seen even for my

1426
01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:58,360
Speaker 1: men's group and the you, know when you listen to

1427
01:15:58,400 --> 01:16:01,240
Speaker 1: the men that the there and tell you they ain't

1428
01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:03,200
Speaker 1: never been in a safe space where they, can you,

1429
01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:06,640
Speaker 1: know express how they, Feel he's, like, wow you. Know

1430
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:09,080
Speaker 1: and for, ME i feel like that's SOMETHING i gotta

1431
01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:13,080
Speaker 1: push because IF i can get men to understand that

1432
01:16:13,320 --> 01:16:16,000
Speaker 1: it is okay to find a group of like minded

1433
01:16:16,080 --> 01:16:19,960
Speaker 1: men to help you process this, thing then that's something

1434
01:16:20,040 --> 01:16:22,439
Speaker 1: THAT i gotta. Do but that's an unpopular decision because

1435
01:16:22,439 --> 01:16:23,880
Speaker 1: if you sit there and tell somebody you got a,

1436
01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:26,280
Speaker 1: therapist they look at you like you're. Crazy but it's just,

1437
01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:28,400
Speaker 1: like how AM i managing all this stuff and trying

1438
01:16:28,439 --> 01:16:31,439
Speaker 1: to you, know processing on my own besides me And?

1439
01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:34,920
Speaker 1: God but still LIKE i still need mentoring help. TOO

1440
01:16:34,920 --> 01:16:37,000
Speaker 1: i got to call you about certain. Things you know

1441
01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:39,439
Speaker 1: What i'm saying, like listen what you, think but if

1442
01:16:39,479 --> 01:16:43,360
Speaker 1: you ask me where we're, GOING i. Haven't LIKE i

1443
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:45,639
Speaker 1: Ask god every day AND i know he gonna unveil

1444
01:16:45,680 --> 01:16:48,639
Speaker 1: it to, me But i'm just walking in my light

1445
01:16:48,880 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 1: because it's LIKE i can't do nothing. Else even IF

1446
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:55,920
Speaker 1: i got up YESTERDAY i wanted to, GO i don't,

1447
01:16:55,960 --> 01:16:57,519
Speaker 1: KNOW i was gonna go hang out with my friend

1448
01:16:57,560 --> 01:16:59,200
Speaker 1: to do. Something it was Like god was, like, nah,

1449
01:16:59,280 --> 01:17:01,760
Speaker 1: bro we're going to do. This AND i had to

1450
01:17:01,840 --> 01:17:04,560
Speaker 1: change my whole day AND i stayed on. It it

1451
01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:06,439
Speaker 1: took me the middle of the night to get it.

1452
01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:08,880
Speaker 1: Done but WHEN i laid down AND i, PRAYED i was, Like,

1453
01:17:08,920 --> 01:17:10,439
Speaker 1: okay that was. It that's WHAT i was supposed to do.

1454
01:17:10,479 --> 01:17:13,800
Speaker 2: Today you, know it's, funny it's it's okay not to

1455
01:17:13,960 --> 01:17:20,280
Speaker 2: have the answer to every. Question god Told abraham to

1456
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:24,519
Speaker 2: take now his only Son isaac to a place that

1457
01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:27,599
Speaker 2: he would show. Him so he had to be willing

1458
01:17:27,720 --> 01:17:30,960
Speaker 2: to lead his son without being able to answer the

1459
01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:32,559
Speaker 2: question of exactly where we're.

1460
01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:37,839
Speaker 1: Going and that's WHAT i hear you say in my. Language,

1461
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:41,439
Speaker 1: YEAH i translated for my.

1462
01:17:41,600 --> 01:17:46,560
Speaker 2: Language so there's a certain degree of faith in the

1463
01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:50,880
Speaker 2: process that that that he will reveal. It but it's

1464
01:17:50,960 --> 01:17:56,200
Speaker 2: also a responsibility that that it's your your, son your

1465
01:17:56,320 --> 01:18:00,400
Speaker 2: leading and you want to be a better father then

1466
01:18:00,439 --> 01:18:04,120
Speaker 2: you were fathered because they don't have to be bloodkin

1467
01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:06,960
Speaker 2: to be. Ken do you let me let me switch

1468
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:13,920
Speaker 2: subjects for a. Minute chapter number, six. Divorce you went

1469
01:18:13,960 --> 01:18:15,720
Speaker 2: through real tough divorce.

1470
01:18:17,920 --> 01:18:17,960
Speaker 1: For.

1471
01:18:18,160 --> 01:18:22,880
Speaker 2: ME i don't think there are no losses if there is, learning, right,

1472
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:27,560
Speaker 2: Okay and when you look back on, it and you

1473
01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:29,840
Speaker 2: may not have had time to process, it because big

1474
01:18:29,920 --> 01:18:32,679
Speaker 2: stuff like, that it takes a long time to really.

1475
01:18:32,760 --> 01:18:38,640
Speaker 2: Process what was that all? About what what did you

1476
01:18:38,960 --> 01:18:39,720
Speaker 2: learn from?

1477
01:18:39,800 --> 01:18:42,920
Speaker 1: IT i LEARNED i was a great, HUSBAND i can't.

1478
01:18:42,960 --> 01:18:47,839
Speaker 1: OKAY i got a beautiful daughter out of a, situation

1479
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:51,840
Speaker 1: so there's no regrets. There BUT i learned a lot about.

1480
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:56,639
Speaker 1: MYSELF i learned that that there's things THAT i continue

1481
01:18:56,680 --> 01:19:02,280
Speaker 1: to work. ON i learned, about you, know my prefaces for,

1482
01:19:02,439 --> 01:19:06,639
Speaker 1: things the type of space THAT i, need the type

1483
01:19:06,680 --> 01:19:09,240
Speaker 1: of moments THAT i need to decompress about certain. Things

1484
01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:16,720
Speaker 1: and this just unselfish. Nature you know THAT i was

1485
01:19:17,240 --> 01:19:21,679
Speaker 1: selfish in my prior, life AND i think just going

1486
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:27,400
Speaker 1: forward in, life it just taught me how to like

1487
01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:36,280
Speaker 1: give someone else grace and actually listen to understand rather

1488
01:19:36,360 --> 01:19:40,120
Speaker 1: than just to listen to, reply you, know because when

1489
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:43,439
Speaker 1: you're sharing the life of, somebody you, know it's almost

1490
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:48,560
Speaker 1: like you don't become. One but this is a, partnership,

1491
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:52,479
Speaker 1: Right and so for, me it's almost Like i've never

1492
01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:55,439
Speaker 1: experienced anything like, that just coming from WHERE i came.

1493
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:58,880
Speaker 1: From SO i never had to, share you know What i'm.

1494
01:19:58,880 --> 01:20:01,240
Speaker 1: SAYING i never had to comp fromise. Anyway SO i

1495
01:20:01,360 --> 01:20:04,840
Speaker 1: just think it taught me a lot about what compromising was,

1496
01:20:04,960 --> 01:20:07,600
Speaker 1: like and then things that you, KNOW i can just

1497
01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:10,200
Speaker 1: work on as a. Person you. Know it's a.

1498
01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:13,160
Speaker 2: Mirror, yeah it's a. Mirror it's a. Mirror it's a.

1499
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:16,160
Speaker 2: Reflection you. Know it's a funny. Thing if you go,

1500
01:20:16,439 --> 01:20:21,559
Speaker 2: death eventually you won't speak clearly to. Me you can't

1501
01:20:21,720 --> 01:20:27,120
Speaker 2: speak right if you can't listen. Right so the correlation

1502
01:20:27,320 --> 01:20:30,360
Speaker 2: between the ear and the mouth is so connected that

1503
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:35,080
Speaker 2: the speech clears when the ear is. Open so WHEN

1504
01:20:35,120 --> 01:20:38,559
Speaker 2: i asked, you what did you learn from? It i'm asking,

1505
01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:45,519
Speaker 2: you are you? Listening and as you, listen that should

1506
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:51,360
Speaker 2: change who you, marry if you marry, again how you

1507
01:20:51,520 --> 01:20:55,519
Speaker 2: communicate your, Music every aspect for your life is like.

1508
01:20:55,640 --> 01:20:57,839
Speaker 2: Blood it doesn't stay in one, Spot it goes. Everywhere

1509
01:20:58,240 --> 01:21:01,800
Speaker 2: so wisdom is the same way it. Goes it goes.

1510
01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:12,200
Speaker 2: Everywhere AND i think everything that makes you better makes you. Wiser, yes, yeah,

1511
01:21:12,680 --> 01:21:15,719
Speaker 2: yes what would you do differently if if the choice

1512
01:21:15,760 --> 01:21:16,160
Speaker 2: comes up?

1513
01:21:16,200 --> 01:21:21,240
Speaker 1: AGAIN i would definitely take my. Time you know What i'm.

1514
01:21:21,240 --> 01:21:27,680
Speaker 1: Saying i've learned now that friendship is the biggest key to.

1515
01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:30,640
Speaker 1: ANYTHING i, MEAN i think when you become friends with

1516
01:21:30,800 --> 01:21:34,920
Speaker 1: someone and you're like really invested in the, friendship it

1517
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:38,360
Speaker 1: just builds a different type of. Foundation AND i feel that,

1518
01:21:40,880 --> 01:21:45,679
Speaker 1: DIFFERENTLY i would SAY i would build A i would

1519
01:21:45,720 --> 01:21:49,000
Speaker 1: make sure that the community is as strong as the,

1520
01:21:49,080 --> 01:21:52,160
Speaker 1: foundation because it takes a community like to keep you,

1521
01:21:52,240 --> 01:21:54,800
Speaker 1: know to keep you, accountable and have people that you

1522
01:21:54,840 --> 01:21:57,920
Speaker 1: can process, with and have like minded people that you

1523
01:21:57,960 --> 01:22:01,400
Speaker 1: can have conversations with about things that, may you, know

1524
01:22:01,640 --> 01:22:05,640
Speaker 1: just might not be a you, know end all be all,

1525
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:08,800
Speaker 1: issue but as things you might not. Understand you know

1526
01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:12,320
Speaker 1: What i'm, Saying because to be honest with, YOU i

1527
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:17,600
Speaker 1: didn't have a lot of great examples of. Relationships AND

1528
01:22:18,160 --> 01:22:19,840
Speaker 1: i do want to say this, though BECAUSE i felt

1529
01:22:19,920 --> 01:22:21,920
Speaker 1: like when people hear me speak about like WHAT i

1530
01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,920
Speaker 1: went through my mom and all this. Stuff they're, like,

1531
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:28,719
Speaker 1: oh you went into a relationship with marriage with mommy.

1532
01:22:28,800 --> 01:22:31,960
Speaker 1: ISSUES i had been working on that, Stuff so that

1533
01:22:32,040 --> 01:22:35,560
Speaker 1: had nothing to do with you, know my timeline with my,

1534
01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:41,400
Speaker 1: marriage but as a man and someone who was coming

1535
01:22:41,439 --> 01:22:45,080
Speaker 1: into his own you, know and someone who came from

1536
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:50,960
Speaker 1: a world where, like you, know your leadership is rule

1537
01:22:51,080 --> 01:22:54,599
Speaker 1: with an iron, fist because that's what survival is based.

1538
01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:58,560
Speaker 1: On and then for you to like start living in

1539
01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:04,280
Speaker 1: abundance rather than, scarcity it was a humbling experience to

1540
01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:08,880
Speaker 1: have to like actually like make sure that you're present

1541
01:23:09,040 --> 01:23:12,080
Speaker 1: enough to hear what somebody else's, right and then you're

1542
01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:17,840
Speaker 1: you're you're there should be no judgment there because you

1543
01:23:17,960 --> 01:23:20,840
Speaker 1: can't tell somebody something's not true to, them like they

1544
01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:23,439
Speaker 1: can't tell you something's not true to. You so it

1545
01:23:23,560 --> 01:23:27,760
Speaker 1: was just just, understand, Right it was just understanding things like.

1546
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:31,160
Speaker 1: That so IF i ever did it, DIFFERENTLY i think

1547
01:23:31,280 --> 01:23:34,880
Speaker 1: that even in the dating, stages like even like the

1548
01:23:35,120 --> 01:23:38,240
Speaker 1: day like we could be, friends but even in the dating,

1549
01:23:38,360 --> 01:23:43,080
Speaker 1: STAGES i would want to do like some pre marital like,

1550
01:23:43,320 --> 01:23:46,160
Speaker 1: counseling you know What i'm, saying to have somebody self.

1551
01:23:46,320 --> 01:23:48,880
Speaker 1: Kind BUT i will say, this my heart of my

1552
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:52,720
Speaker 1: spirit tells me like now the Space i'm, IN i

1553
01:23:52,880 --> 01:23:55,639
Speaker 1: just see life. Partner you know What i'm, Saying BECAUSE

1554
01:23:55,680 --> 01:23:58,960
Speaker 1: i just kind of feel like when you build a

1555
01:23:59,040 --> 01:24:01,960
Speaker 1: friendship and you the solid foundation with somebody Like AND

1556
01:24:02,040 --> 01:24:03,560
Speaker 1: i don't don't get me, WRONG i don't know What

1557
01:24:03,720 --> 01:24:06,280
Speaker 1: oprah's statement got going. ON i ain't any business night

1558
01:24:06,360 --> 01:24:09,599
Speaker 1: in their. House but it works for, Them i'm, Saying

1559
01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:12,719
Speaker 1: And i'm quite sure that they negotiated. Something if it doesn't,

1560
01:24:12,760 --> 01:24:15,120
Speaker 1: work you, know he's gonna be. Strange she's gonna be

1561
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:18,280
Speaker 1: straight and gonna keep on moving WHAT i don't agree.

1562
01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:22,920
Speaker 1: With and because this new generation of, dating marriage and

1563
01:24:22,960 --> 01:24:26,120
Speaker 1: all these things is so, quick it's so immediate, gratification

1564
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:32,000
Speaker 1: it's also for. Show is that as somebody that had

1565
01:24:32,040 --> 01:24:34,840
Speaker 1: to come, from you, know the type of, background and

1566
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:36,600
Speaker 1: to take the losses THAT i had to, take And

1567
01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:39,600
Speaker 1: i'm quite sure everybody took losses in their. Life is

1568
01:24:39,680 --> 01:24:43,040
Speaker 1: THAT i feel that if two human beings can come

1569
01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:46,360
Speaker 1: together and come to some type of understanding and build

1570
01:24:46,439 --> 01:24:49,280
Speaker 1: this bond that doesn't need a piece of paper to

1571
01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:54,040
Speaker 1: validate it and, say, hey look we're gonna do life.

1572
01:24:54,080 --> 01:24:57,320
Speaker 1: Together we're gonna make this. Work BUT i also want

1573
01:24:57,360 --> 01:24:59,680
Speaker 1: you to be, okay if this doesn't, work what is

1574
01:24:59,720 --> 01:25:02,800
Speaker 1: that like for? You let's talk about. That let's get that. Together,

1575
01:25:02,800 --> 01:25:05,280
Speaker 1: okay you're good with. That i'm good with. That we signed,

1576
01:25:05,360 --> 01:25:07,040
Speaker 1: that you, Sign we do whatever we get the, ring

1577
01:25:07,120 --> 01:25:10,240
Speaker 1: we do all. That WHAT i never want to go through.

1578
01:25:10,320 --> 01:25:12,240
Speaker 1: AGAIN i don't want that from, anybody BECAUSE i know

1579
01:25:12,320 --> 01:25:14,120
Speaker 1: a lot of brothers just been going through the court.

1580
01:25:14,200 --> 01:25:18,160
Speaker 1: Cases is seeing these people take your money and send

1581
01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:20,080
Speaker 1: their kids to college with your money because you're fight,

1582
01:25:20,160 --> 01:25:25,040
Speaker 1: them because it becomes. Adversarial, well let's decide what it's

1583
01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:27,599
Speaker 1: going to, be and if you're good with, that If

1584
01:25:27,600 --> 01:25:29,680
Speaker 1: i'm good with, that if it doesn't, work what you

1585
01:25:29,800 --> 01:25:32,200
Speaker 1: wanted to, work but at least we got to understand

1586
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:34,000
Speaker 1: and that we can part ways and we can still be,

1587
01:25:34,080 --> 01:25:37,000
Speaker 1: okay it just didn't. Work but when we come, adversarial

1588
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:40,200
Speaker 1: And i'm not just speaking on my, Way i'm talking about,

1589
01:25:40,200 --> 01:25:43,160
Speaker 1: overall once the lawyers get, involved they smell. Blood you

1590
01:25:43,200 --> 01:25:45,880
Speaker 1: know What i'm. Saying they just want. Money they just

1591
01:25:45,960 --> 01:25:51,120
Speaker 1: making the, Money they keeping a fighting. Going they're the

1592
01:25:51,200 --> 01:25:54,160
Speaker 1: wise who walk. Away, god, yeah you, know and it's

1593
01:25:54,200 --> 01:25:57,680
Speaker 1: all lie off your you, know just off you, know

1594
01:25:57,920 --> 01:26:03,640
Speaker 1: you're you're hurting your. Pain and IF i was to

1595
01:26:03,760 --> 01:26:05,599
Speaker 1: ever be with, SOMEBODY i would just hope they would

1596
01:26:05,640 --> 01:26:07,880
Speaker 1: understand just coming from the space That i'm coming from

1597
01:26:08,280 --> 01:26:10,479
Speaker 1: THAT i don't feel LIKE i could be loyal to

1598
01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:12,840
Speaker 1: you without a piece of. PAPER i could be, LOYAL

1599
01:26:12,920 --> 01:26:14,920
Speaker 1: i could Be i'm gonna protect you without any of.

1600
01:26:15,040 --> 01:26:18,600
Speaker 1: That i'm going you you are my. Person BUT i

1601
01:26:18,920 --> 01:26:21,280
Speaker 1: just don't THINK i can never be in a situation

1602
01:26:21,360 --> 01:26:24,760
Speaker 1: While i'm sitting there watching these, people you, know pick

1603
01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:29,360
Speaker 1: apart my. LIFE i, mean you, know they you, know

1604
01:26:29,400 --> 01:26:34,040
Speaker 1: people challenge those all. Day BUT i would rather agreement

1605
01:26:34,600 --> 01:26:39,720
Speaker 1: than a, prenup meaning that it's the same. Thing we

1606
01:26:39,800 --> 01:26:42,080
Speaker 1: don't got to go in front of a judge to

1607
01:26:42,680 --> 01:26:45,600
Speaker 1: figure this. Out it could be in an, account it

1608
01:26:45,680 --> 01:26:49,200
Speaker 1: could be in an escrow picking up you, know you,

1609
01:26:49,280 --> 01:26:52,120
Speaker 1: know it could be making money while you, know it

1610
01:26:52,160 --> 01:26:54,320
Speaker 1: could be picking up interest or. Whatever it could be doing,

1611
01:26:54,360 --> 01:26:57,439
Speaker 1: whatever but we understand this is what this. Is Because

1612
01:26:57,439 --> 01:27:02,640
Speaker 1: i'm just saying that when you go through you, know

1613
01:27:02,720 --> 01:27:04,600
Speaker 1: And i'm not speaking just on my, Situation LIKE i

1614
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:06,360
Speaker 1: talk to brothers all the time And i'm not a you,

1615
01:27:06,439 --> 01:27:08,960
Speaker 1: Know i'm not a relationship, counselor And i'm just telling

1616
01:27:09,040 --> 01:27:11,599
Speaker 1: brothers WHAT i think or trying to help them process.

1617
01:27:11,680 --> 01:27:14,960
Speaker 1: It but WHAT i get from it is you're already in.

1618
01:27:15,120 --> 01:27:17,880
Speaker 1: Pain you, know you wanted this to. Work you're trying

1619
01:27:17,920 --> 01:27:20,680
Speaker 1: to figure out these things. Out but these people are

1620
01:27:20,760 --> 01:27:29,160
Speaker 1: basically you, know they're basically taking everything that you work

1621
01:27:29,280 --> 01:27:34,280
Speaker 1: for a part and they're leaving with you, know this

1622
01:27:34,560 --> 01:27:37,559
Speaker 1: generation of wealth you built to put it into their.

1623
01:27:37,680 --> 01:27:40,800
Speaker 1: Family and then this is money you could have sent

1624
01:27:40,840 --> 01:27:43,800
Speaker 1: your kids through college, with you could have you, know

1625
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:47,719
Speaker 1: set your family up, with and that same financial stuff

1626
01:27:47,760 --> 01:27:51,040
Speaker 1: we was talking about. Before that's where that strain comes.

1627
01:27:51,080 --> 01:27:55,760
Speaker 1: From because if you've given you, know these lawyers and

1628
01:27:56,240 --> 01:27:59,960
Speaker 1: all these, things all this different money you're taking away from,

1629
01:28:00,200 --> 01:28:03,479
Speaker 1: that well, where, hey if it didn't, WORK i love,

1630
01:28:03,560 --> 01:28:06,120
Speaker 1: You you're, Good i'm. Good we straight let's take care

1631
01:28:06,120 --> 01:28:08,519
Speaker 1: of the. Babies y'all need, Anything i'm still here and

1632
01:28:08,680 --> 01:28:11,360
Speaker 1: you still got what you, need and we still got

1633
01:28:11,479 --> 01:28:14,040
Speaker 1: this nest egg that we just didn't give away that

1634
01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:16,760
Speaker 1: if something ever happens that we know both, know, hey

1635
01:28:16,840 --> 01:28:18,880
Speaker 1: if you need something's. There you know What i'm saying

1636
01:28:19,200 --> 01:28:24,519
Speaker 1: at our, Age i'm older than. YOU i flattered.

1637
01:28:24,600 --> 01:28:33,880
Speaker 2: Myself that felt. Good, yeah, yeah just like. That, yeah

1638
01:28:34,120 --> 01:28:36,720
Speaker 2: this is this is not, color this is.

1639
01:28:36,880 --> 01:28:45,519
Speaker 1: Real. Okay. Yeah to, me it's all in the choice

1640
01:28:48,479 --> 01:28:48,720
Speaker 1: and the.

1641
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:52,439
Speaker 2: Person, yes, yes it's all in the. CHOICE i agree with.

1642
01:28:52,560 --> 01:28:56,000
Speaker 2: That and if you, don't you can't do a good

1643
01:28:56,200 --> 01:29:00,760
Speaker 2: deal with the wrong. Person that's, Right, okay. Absolutely and

1644
01:29:00,920 --> 01:29:03,040
Speaker 2: the other THING i thought while you were talking THAT

1645
01:29:03,160 --> 01:29:06,679
Speaker 2: i thought was really. Interesting almost all of your life

1646
01:29:07,439 --> 01:29:15,800
Speaker 2: you've been. Deliberate you raise. Yourself you survived the trials by,

1647
01:29:15,840 --> 01:29:21,120
Speaker 2: yourself you overcame the obstacles of sexual, abuse, whatever you

1648
01:29:21,520 --> 01:29:24,160
Speaker 2: did it by, yourself and you went on about your.

1649
01:29:24,200 --> 01:29:27,120
Speaker 2: Business marriage is collaborative.

1650
01:29:29,800 --> 01:29:31,160
Speaker 1: And you're.

1651
01:29:31,680 --> 01:29:34,559
Speaker 2: CHOOSING i wrote, IT i wrote in my first, book

1652
01:29:34,720 --> 01:29:37,760
Speaker 2: see how you like, this and then we're gonna do some.

1653
01:29:37,960 --> 01:29:45,080
Speaker 2: Fun marriage is choosing whose hand you want to hold

1654
01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:47,800
Speaker 2: when they lower your parents' body into the.

1655
01:29:47,880 --> 01:29:48,160
Speaker 1: Ground.

1656
01:29:48,840 --> 01:29:55,519
Speaker 2: Okay marriage is the person who's got you when all

1657
01:29:55,560 --> 01:29:59,479
Speaker 2: the furniture is put out on the. Street marriage is

1658
01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:03,920
Speaker 2: choosing who's going to be your partner on the red

1659
01:30:04,040 --> 01:30:11,439
Speaker 2: carpet or when the guests is. Off AND i tried

1660
01:30:11,520 --> 01:30:16,640
Speaker 2: to set some standard as it's not always going to be.

1661
01:30:16,720 --> 01:30:19,680
Speaker 2: Good it's not always going to be. Bad but it's

1662
01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:23,519
Speaker 2: a chapter call the table for two AND i talked about.

1663
01:30:23,600 --> 01:30:27,960
Speaker 2: That it's a collaboration so. Far don't know what the

1664
01:30:28,040 --> 01:30:31,200
Speaker 2: future is gonna. Bring don't Think i'm going to get.

1665
01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:33,720
Speaker 2: Divorced but forty.

1666
01:30:33,720 --> 01:30:35,280
Speaker 1: IF i happen to meet, Somebody i'm gonna bring them

1667
01:30:35,280 --> 01:30:36,760
Speaker 1: through you so you can do the betting for. Me,

1668
01:30:36,840 --> 01:30:42,679
Speaker 1: OKAY i will help you going to See i've got

1669
01:30:43,040 --> 01:30:45,800
Speaker 1: a fifty to fifty. SUCCESS i want to let you

1670
01:30:46,000 --> 01:30:49,760
Speaker 1: up that from the top of not everybody That i've

1671
01:30:49,800 --> 01:30:56,639
Speaker 1: heard stayed. Married, okay but chapter number, seven what's?

1672
01:30:56,800 --> 01:31:00,560
Speaker 2: MISSING i hate it when people say what do you

1673
01:31:00,680 --> 01:31:04,200
Speaker 2: give to the person who has? Everything BECAUSE i think

1674
01:31:04,240 --> 01:31:09,920
Speaker 2: it's an excuse you you, know, uh you, know and

1675
01:31:10,320 --> 01:31:13,880
Speaker 2: it and it lives off of the assumption that because

1676
01:31:13,960 --> 01:31:18,120
Speaker 2: you have, something you have. Everything WHEN i have never

1677
01:31:18,280 --> 01:31:22,840
Speaker 2: met the man who has. Everything that's a. Fact what's

1678
01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:28,880
Speaker 2: missing from you that you wish you? Had that's a great.

1679
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:35,400
Speaker 2: Questions BEFORE i was missing trusting, myself you know What i'm.

1680
01:31:35,400 --> 01:31:40,320
Speaker 1: SAYING i was missing connecting with, myself like like knowing

1681
01:31:40,600 --> 01:31:45,160
Speaker 1: WHO i, am What i'm doing While i'm. Here what fused?

1682
01:31:45,280 --> 01:31:47,560
Speaker 1: Me what what drains? Me what takes away from? Me

1683
01:31:48,720 --> 01:31:52,360
Speaker 1: and it's not so much THAT i think now IF

1684
01:31:52,439 --> 01:31:57,240
Speaker 1: i had to answer that is what more COULD i

1685
01:31:57,439 --> 01:32:03,920
Speaker 1: do for? Culture because what's missing for me is helping

1686
01:32:04,160 --> 01:32:07,800
Speaker 1: us get an understanding that we are really all we.

1687
01:32:07,960 --> 01:32:11,320
Speaker 1: Got that's what keeps me up at night because BECAUSE

1688
01:32:11,360 --> 01:32:13,400
Speaker 1: i see, It i'm still hearing things that go on

1689
01:32:13,439 --> 01:32:15,920
Speaker 1: on the. STREETS i Still i'm still losing. Friends i'm

1690
01:32:15,920 --> 01:32:19,880
Speaker 1: going to push. Back, OKAY i asked you what was

1691
01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:23,000
Speaker 1: missing from, you and you gave me another mission for

1692
01:32:23,120 --> 01:32:24,280
Speaker 1: you to go. Do. YEAH i did.

1693
01:32:26,720 --> 01:32:32,560
Speaker 2: To escape the vulnerability of admitting a personal. Need And

1694
01:32:32,640 --> 01:32:33,960
Speaker 2: i'm not going to let you get that with.

1695
01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:39,680
Speaker 1: It oh, Man yeah. Yeah every everything about you is

1696
01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:42,439
Speaker 1: about giving to what they. Needed help me with, that

1697
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,720
Speaker 1: Because i'm, like, okay so IF i was to ask

1698
01:32:44,760 --> 01:32:48,880
Speaker 1: you and you don't have to answer, it IF i

1699
01:32:49,000 --> 01:32:51,719
Speaker 1: was asked you the same, question What i'm just trying

1700
01:32:51,720 --> 01:32:57,400
Speaker 1: to get an understanding. Of because WHEN i woke up this,

1701
01:32:57,479 --> 01:32:59,040
Speaker 1: MORNING i walked. Around SO i love my, HOUSE i

1702
01:32:59,080 --> 01:33:00,639
Speaker 1: love my. LIFE i love. It oh this is, Great

1703
01:33:00,720 --> 01:33:03,479
Speaker 1: like this is. Amazing SO i DON'T i don't really

1704
01:33:03,680 --> 01:33:09,240
Speaker 1: like there's NOTHING i truly like. Want IF i, think

1705
01:33:09,439 --> 01:33:13,120
Speaker 1: like if, ANYTHING i can't think of like NOTHING i.

1706
01:33:13,240 --> 01:33:15,560
Speaker 1: WANT i ain't talking about like, materialistic BUT i like my,

1707
01:33:15,680 --> 01:33:20,040
Speaker 1: family life is, great my friends are. AMAZING i love

1708
01:33:20,120 --> 01:33:23,560
Speaker 1: WHAT i. DO i love the city That i'm, IN

1709
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:28,680
Speaker 1: i love you. KNOW i just really can't think of

1710
01:33:28,920 --> 01:33:33,080
Speaker 1: like nothing THAT i like personally want a. NEED i

1711
01:33:33,120 --> 01:33:36,000
Speaker 1: would say, companionship but then it's, LIKE i don't got the,

1712
01:33:36,080 --> 01:33:38,720
Speaker 1: time you know What i'm, Saying so that'll be kind

1713
01:33:38,760 --> 01:33:42,240
Speaker 1: of like pushing. It you know What i'm. Saying definitely

1714
01:33:42,240 --> 01:33:46,000
Speaker 1: ain't walking down no, aisle no time soon if you. Don't,

1715
01:33:46,280 --> 01:33:50,000
Speaker 1: YEAH i get, It, YEAH i get. IT i would

1716
01:33:50,080 --> 01:33:54,920
Speaker 1: have Roller states if.

1717
01:33:55,000 --> 01:34:01,080
Speaker 2: You two THINGS i think would be valuable to you

1718
01:34:02,760 --> 01:34:08,360
Speaker 2: is a clear answer as to where you are, going

1719
01:34:09,880 --> 01:34:12,560
Speaker 2: that way that people who are following you don't go

1720
01:34:12,680 --> 01:34:16,280
Speaker 2: to a. Cliff and the second thing is a funeral

1721
01:34:17,400 --> 01:34:23,200
Speaker 2: for the person you were in the lyrics that you gave,

1722
01:34:23,400 --> 01:34:28,280
Speaker 2: me the beer and the champagne all mixed. Together i'd

1723
01:34:28,439 --> 01:34:31,160
Speaker 2: like to see them, separate to the point that the

1724
01:34:31,320 --> 01:34:36,840
Speaker 2: person that you were was cremated and the person that

1725
01:34:37,000 --> 01:34:40,479
Speaker 2: you are free to be now gets to spread his

1726
01:34:40,640 --> 01:34:48,400
Speaker 2: wings and, fly and that means being full and vulnerable

1727
01:34:48,560 --> 01:34:52,640
Speaker 2: at the same. Time, yeah and then you discover what

1728
01:34:52,800 --> 01:34:53,400
Speaker 2: you need for.

1729
01:34:53,560 --> 01:34:53,600
Speaker 1: Me.

1730
01:34:55,040 --> 01:35:01,559
Speaker 2: Trust it's very, valuable very difficult to trust people who

1731
01:35:01,640 --> 01:35:04,680
Speaker 2: just met you when you're on your way. UP i

1732
01:35:04,800 --> 01:35:07,360
Speaker 2: tend to do better trusting people who were there WHEN

1733
01:35:07,400 --> 01:35:10,600
Speaker 2: i was. Struggling Ok and they're still there, now and

1734
01:35:11,160 --> 01:35:14,719
Speaker 2: they've got a resume that has. Longevity but there's lots

1735
01:35:14,760 --> 01:35:17,840
Speaker 2: of little things THAT i don't have to BECAUSE i

1736
01:35:17,920 --> 01:35:21,080
Speaker 2: fill my life with business much like you, do and

1737
01:35:21,240 --> 01:35:24,680
Speaker 2: don't often take enough time for me as an, individual

1738
01:35:25,280 --> 01:35:28,360
Speaker 2: and then get frustrated because the people around me don't

1739
01:35:28,400 --> 01:35:33,360
Speaker 2: give me WHAT i don't give. Myself you teach people

1740
01:35:34,360 --> 01:35:39,040
Speaker 2: how to love you by how you love, yourself not

1741
01:35:39,160 --> 01:35:42,280
Speaker 2: by how much you give to, them but how much

1742
01:35:42,360 --> 01:35:48,040
Speaker 2: you value. Yourself set say standard for them to understand

1743
01:35:49,360 --> 01:35:54,080
Speaker 2: how you. Roll and in order to see how you.

1744
01:35:54,280 --> 01:35:59,479
Speaker 2: Roll we got to get rid of that guy who

1745
01:35:59,520 --> 01:36:03,120
Speaker 2: we've been to talking about. Today we've got he did his.

1746
01:36:03,320 --> 01:36:07,439
Speaker 2: Job he got you. Here the arrow is way down

1747
01:36:07,520 --> 01:36:10,800
Speaker 2: the road, Now, Okay, okay we don't need the bowl

1748
01:36:10,840 --> 01:36:14,080
Speaker 2: to still be bent once the arrow is. Released and

1749
01:36:14,280 --> 01:36:17,479
Speaker 2: sometimes you talk like the bowl is still being pulled

1750
01:36:18,320 --> 01:36:23,080
Speaker 2: AND i think somebody that helps you bring that bow

1751
01:36:23,200 --> 01:36:28,280
Speaker 2: into closer. Proximity, uh and you really get to enjoy

1752
01:36:29,280 --> 01:36:34,720
Speaker 2: where the arrow landed rather than rehearse how far the

1753
01:36:34,800 --> 01:36:38,880
Speaker 2: bowl was. Pulled back is a, gift AND i leave

1754
01:36:38,960 --> 01:36:42,680
Speaker 2: that gift with. You i'm gonna call you later and

1755
01:36:42,680 --> 01:36:43,120
Speaker 2: we can talk to.

1756
01:36:43,200 --> 01:36:47,280
Speaker 1: It it's, okay it's, okay it's. Cool it's.

1757
01:36:47,320 --> 01:36:56,800
Speaker 2: Cool chapter number, Eight beef With. Knas SO i read

1758
01:36:56,880 --> 01:36:59,599
Speaker 2: where you had a disagreement With knas and you were

1759
01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:01,759
Speaker 2: all up said when you called, him he was, calm

1760
01:37:02,240 --> 01:37:06,200
Speaker 2: and you learned the ability to communicate your feelings without

1761
01:37:06,320 --> 01:37:08,559
Speaker 2: being as aggressive as you once.

1762
01:37:08,640 --> 01:37:08,800
Speaker 1: Were.

1763
01:37:09,360 --> 01:37:12,280
Speaker 2: Uh what do you think it takes for us to

1764
01:37:12,439 --> 01:37:15,920
Speaker 2: teach black men today how to communicate without?

1765
01:37:16,040 --> 01:37:18,160
Speaker 1: Rage, well the first thing is you're gonna agree to.

1766
01:37:18,240 --> 01:37:21,400
Speaker 1: Disagree and going back to the nod, SITUATION i never forget.

1767
01:37:21,479 --> 01:37:24,439
Speaker 1: IT i was just getting. ON i was In chicago

1768
01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:28,040
Speaker 1: doing radio and it was LIKE nas AND i just

1769
01:37:28,120 --> 01:37:30,320
Speaker 1: dropped my album and then all of a, sudden he

1770
01:37:30,360 --> 01:37:33,519
Speaker 1: put out this song called Hip hop Is, dead and everybody's, like,

1771
01:37:33,560 --> 01:37:37,400
Speaker 1: oh he talk about you cure hip, Hop and you,

1772
01:37:37,479 --> 01:37:40,439
Speaker 1: KNOW i kind of spent out of control at the

1773
01:37:40,560 --> 01:37:43,720
Speaker 1: radio station and he happened to be on Death jam as,

1774
01:37:43,760 --> 01:37:47,880
Speaker 1: well and he called, me and he called. Me his

1775
01:37:48,000 --> 01:37:51,200
Speaker 1: first words, was what's, Up? King somebody hit you with

1776
01:37:51,280 --> 01:37:55,880
Speaker 1: The king off? Top but he was so. Calm he was,

1777
01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:58,519
Speaker 1: like he's, like hey, man you, know he's, like he's,

1778
01:37:58,560 --> 01:38:01,120
Speaker 1: Like i'm hearing. That you, know you feel a way

1779
01:38:01,120 --> 01:38:02,640
Speaker 1: about the. Song it had nothing to do with. You

1780
01:38:02,760 --> 01:38:04,720
Speaker 1: i'm talking about the state of hip. Hop explain it to,

1781
01:38:04,840 --> 01:38:07,559
Speaker 1: me so, calm so, poised and he's just, like, nah,

1782
01:38:07,600 --> 01:38:10,400
Speaker 1: man anytime you, know you want to, call we could

1783
01:38:10,439 --> 01:38:14,400
Speaker 1: talk through it or. Whatever BUT i really felt how

1784
01:38:14,560 --> 01:38:18,679
Speaker 1: IGNORANT i was being BECAUSE i let somebody else convince

1785
01:38:18,800 --> 01:38:22,080
Speaker 1: me that he was saying something about WHAT i was,

1786
01:38:22,160 --> 01:38:25,200
Speaker 1: doing because my ego was just that. Big you know

1787
01:38:25,240 --> 01:38:28,599
Speaker 1: What i'm, saying and what it taught me going forward

1788
01:38:28,840 --> 01:38:31,760
Speaker 1: is That and this is the THING i score back

1789
01:38:31,760 --> 01:38:35,760
Speaker 1: to the conflict resolution is you, know even as black,

1790
01:38:36,040 --> 01:38:39,559
Speaker 1: men WHAT i learned is When i'm a, shamed arm,

1791
01:38:39,640 --> 01:38:45,800
Speaker 1: embarrassed that's WHEN i get the most. Defensive, yes. Right

1792
01:38:46,080 --> 01:38:51,200
Speaker 1: but he allowed me space to feel that without you,

1793
01:38:51,280 --> 01:38:54,559
Speaker 1: know pouring gasoline on. It, yes because you know how

1794
01:38:54,640 --> 01:38:56,800
Speaker 1: you're in the black. Household you do something. Wrong it was, like,

1795
01:38:56,880 --> 01:38:58,400
Speaker 1: yeah AND i told, you and that's why you did

1796
01:38:58,439 --> 01:39:00,519
Speaker 1: it because you don't know no. Better you, like you,

1797
01:39:00,600 --> 01:39:02,880
Speaker 1: know they be little. You he, didn't he didn't do.

1798
01:39:03,040 --> 01:39:07,640
Speaker 1: That so going, forward and it took some, decades WHAT

1799
01:39:07,800 --> 01:39:12,200
Speaker 1: i did discover is it's all about, mindset you know

1800
01:39:12,240 --> 01:39:14,479
Speaker 1: What i'm. Saying and if you in a in a

1801
01:39:14,600 --> 01:39:19,240
Speaker 1: group of individuals and their mindset it's still, that then

1802
01:39:19,320 --> 01:39:21,840
Speaker 1: that's how they're going to react to anything that they.

1803
01:39:21,960 --> 01:39:24,280
Speaker 1: Feel when people are, angry they're mostly most of the,

1804
01:39:24,360 --> 01:39:26,800
Speaker 1: time they're, scared you know What i'm. Saying they're either

1805
01:39:26,880 --> 01:39:29,960
Speaker 1: scared that you're going to find something out or scared

1806
01:39:30,040 --> 01:39:31,920
Speaker 1: that you're going to react a certain way and they're

1807
01:39:31,960 --> 01:39:34,639
Speaker 1: not gonna be able to control the. Situation but then

1808
01:39:34,680 --> 01:39:36,800
Speaker 1: WHEN i got into this other space THAT i had

1809
01:39:36,840 --> 01:39:39,760
Speaker 1: to work hard to get into BECAUSE i had one

1810
01:39:39,800 --> 01:39:41,479
Speaker 1: of my art mentors told me the other, days, like,

1811
01:39:41,560 --> 01:39:43,120
Speaker 1: yeah ten years, ago they, SAID i want to never

1812
01:39:43,200 --> 01:39:45,040
Speaker 1: let you in my, house you know What i'm. Saying

1813
01:39:45,120 --> 01:39:49,040
Speaker 1: so he understands, that you, know there's been a. Transformation

1814
01:39:49,560 --> 01:39:51,160
Speaker 1: but WHAT i say is WHEN i got into a

1815
01:39:51,880 --> 01:39:56,960
Speaker 1: group of like minded. MEN i immediately started to understand

1816
01:39:57,160 --> 01:40:01,200
Speaker 1: that you can do something and call somebody back the

1817
01:40:01,280 --> 01:40:03,599
Speaker 1: next day and, say, hey, brother how you. Doing you're good.

1818
01:40:03,680 --> 01:40:05,240
Speaker 1: MAN i just want to tell, you like last, NIGHT

1819
01:40:05,280 --> 01:40:06,800
Speaker 1: i was a little. Pocket you know What i'm. SAYING

1820
01:40:06,840 --> 01:40:09,120
Speaker 1: i got a little and you, know the conversation wasn't

1821
01:40:09,120 --> 01:40:11,240
Speaker 1: supposed to be like. That that was definitely not my.

1822
01:40:11,360 --> 01:40:13,760
Speaker 1: Intentions and then the brother or the other end, say, oh,

1823
01:40:13,880 --> 01:40:15,360
Speaker 1: man you know it's no. Problem BUT i know your,

1824
01:40:15,400 --> 01:40:17,720
Speaker 1: HEART i know. You, YEAH i know you didn't mean,

1825
01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:21,400
Speaker 1: that and and that resolved in and you're going to

1826
01:40:21,439 --> 01:40:24,439
Speaker 1: do bigger and better, things when in my prior, life

1827
01:40:25,120 --> 01:40:28,000
Speaker 1: that conversation would have ended with them hanging up the

1828
01:40:28,080 --> 01:40:30,200
Speaker 1: phone and me hanging up the, phone being at the

1829
01:40:30,240 --> 01:40:32,240
Speaker 1: top of our voice and being, Like i've been not seeing.

1830
01:40:32,240 --> 01:40:34,160
Speaker 1: You you better not see. Me and then when you see,

1831
01:40:34,200 --> 01:40:35,840
Speaker 1: them you got to you gotta read, now you got

1832
01:40:35,920 --> 01:40:37,880
Speaker 1: to react because you set it up that way now

1833
01:40:38,120 --> 01:40:42,120
Speaker 1: and everybody's you, know about their, issue but it's just

1834
01:40:42,280 --> 01:40:46,200
Speaker 1: like there's no conflict resolution. There so with black men

1835
01:40:46,320 --> 01:40:49,720
Speaker 1: being able to talk to each other and having no,

1836
01:40:49,960 --> 01:40:56,759
Speaker 1: judgment it de escalates things and it builds long standing

1837
01:40:56,840 --> 01:41:01,080
Speaker 1: relationships because in any, relationship you're gonna mess, up you

1838
01:41:01,120 --> 01:41:03,880
Speaker 1: know What i'm. Saying it's, like can you be can

1839
01:41:03,960 --> 01:41:06,800
Speaker 1: you put your ego to the, side have the hard,

1840
01:41:06,840 --> 01:41:10,519
Speaker 1: conversation and every time there is any type of, conflict

1841
01:41:10,640 --> 01:41:14,720
Speaker 1: that's an opportunity to strengthen the relationship because NOW i

1842
01:41:14,760 --> 01:41:17,160
Speaker 1: can say to, you, hey, bro, like, man, MAN i

1843
01:41:17,400 --> 01:41:20,639
Speaker 1: really apologize for. THAT i had no idea that made

1844
01:41:20,680 --> 01:41:23,120
Speaker 1: you feel that. Way and he can, go, okay, yeah,

1845
01:41:23,200 --> 01:41:25,320
Speaker 1: Man like you're just going forward man for, me, please you,

1846
01:41:25,400 --> 01:41:27,719
Speaker 1: know just don't say. That you, Know i'm sensitive about.

1847
01:41:27,760 --> 01:41:29,640
Speaker 1: That this happened to me WHEN i was, young and

1848
01:41:29,720 --> 01:41:32,360
Speaker 1: this happened then and there and then also. Too it

1849
01:41:32,400 --> 01:41:35,519
Speaker 1: builds trust Because i've been having a conversations when people

1850
01:41:35,600 --> 01:41:40,000
Speaker 1: will they might ask you something and be surprised that

1851
01:41:40,080 --> 01:41:43,679
Speaker 1: you tell them because you're letting them in your private. Space.

1852
01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:47,640
Speaker 1: Right that's building a. Relationship you're trusting, it you, know

1853
01:41:47,720 --> 01:41:49,120
Speaker 1: and then you'll see when they do it to. YOU

1854
01:41:49,240 --> 01:41:50,680
Speaker 1: i was with one of my other guys the other

1855
01:41:50,760 --> 01:41:52,600
Speaker 1: day and were just. Talking he was one of my,

1856
01:41:52,680 --> 01:41:56,000
Speaker 1: guys you on his restaurant In, atlanta and we're just

1857
01:41:56,080 --> 01:41:58,280
Speaker 1: having a conversation he started telling me About now this

1858
01:41:58,360 --> 01:42:00,880
Speaker 1: guy never tells nobody about none of his. Lands he's

1859
01:42:00,920 --> 01:42:03,000
Speaker 1: telling me about this whole other things about the building.

1860
01:42:03,120 --> 01:42:06,560
Speaker 1: Doing i'm just sitting there, like, oh you trust, me

1861
01:42:08,680 --> 01:42:11,439
Speaker 1: which is the highest form of, flattery and right like

1862
01:42:11,560 --> 01:42:13,880
Speaker 1: you trust. Me you're telling me your. Ideas and it's

1863
01:42:13,960 --> 01:42:18,160
Speaker 1: just like that came from having a disagreement before, yeah

1864
01:42:18,600 --> 01:42:21,320
Speaker 1: and then me calling him, saying, hey DID i say

1865
01:42:21,360 --> 01:42:21,800
Speaker 1: this last?

1866
01:42:21,880 --> 01:42:22,000
Speaker 2: Night?

1867
01:42:22,439 --> 01:42:23,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah AND i was, like, okay, LOOK i just

1868
01:42:24,040 --> 01:42:26,720
Speaker 1: want you to know WHAT i meant right BECAUSE i

1869
01:42:26,920 --> 01:42:27,400
Speaker 1: said it and.

1870
01:42:27,600 --> 01:42:31,559
Speaker 2: Passing but sometimes what you said what you meant her

1871
01:42:31,600 --> 01:42:37,639
Speaker 2: two different. Things chapter number nine learily Versus scripture. Game

1872
01:42:39,160 --> 01:42:42,120
Speaker 2: it was suggested that we do this. Game, okay and

1873
01:42:42,400 --> 01:42:46,600
Speaker 2: this is a game that that you you give me some,

1874
01:42:46,880 --> 01:42:52,400
Speaker 2: lyrics some, beats some, lyrics AND i have to explain

1875
01:42:52,479 --> 01:42:54,200
Speaker 2: what it. Means oh, wow and.

1876
01:42:55,840 --> 01:42:58,120
Speaker 1: This is gonna be. Fun and THAT i give you a.

1877
01:42:58,240 --> 01:43:04,040
Speaker 1: Scripture oh, wow you have to, explain oh my, god

1878
01:43:05,560 --> 01:43:10,760
Speaker 1: what that. Means so, okay let's going. First, Uh i'll go.

1879
01:43:10,880 --> 01:43:14,519
Speaker 2: First blessed is the man that walk him not in

1880
01:43:14,640 --> 01:43:18,200
Speaker 2: The council of The ungodly no standeth in the way of,

1881
01:43:18,320 --> 01:43:22,439
Speaker 2: sinners nor sit in the seat of the. Scornful oh.

1882
01:43:22,560 --> 01:43:24,560
Speaker 2: Wow but his delight is in the law of The.

1883
01:43:24,640 --> 01:43:26,920
Speaker 2: Lord and in that law does he meditate both day and.

1884
01:43:27,000 --> 01:43:30,479
Speaker 2: Night and he should be like a tree planted by

1885
01:43:30,520 --> 01:43:33,080
Speaker 2: the rivers of, waters bringing for fruit in his own.

1886
01:43:33,160 --> 01:43:37,320
Speaker 2: Season his leaf also shall not, wither and whatsoever he

1887
01:43:37,479 --> 01:43:38,080
Speaker 2: does shall.

1888
01:43:38,200 --> 01:43:43,360
Speaker 1: Prosper, oh My, god whatever he does shall. Prosper, Okay

1889
01:43:43,400 --> 01:43:45,519
Speaker 1: SO i got to break that. Down, yeah, well you

1890
01:43:45,880 --> 01:43:48,200
Speaker 1: want me to do it. Again you can do that. Again,

1891
01:43:48,400 --> 01:43:54,559
Speaker 1: YES i can do it all. Day, blessed listen at.

1892
01:43:54,600 --> 01:43:57,360
Speaker 2: It. Okay blessed is the man that walketh not in

1893
01:43:57,479 --> 01:44:02,000
Speaker 2: the council of the, ungodly nor standeth in the way of,

1894
01:44:02,200 --> 01:44:07,720
Speaker 2: sinners nor sitteth in the seat of the. Scornful but

1895
01:44:07,960 --> 01:44:11,280
Speaker 2: in his log talking About god's, law does he meditate

1896
01:44:11,400 --> 01:44:16,040
Speaker 2: day and. Night and he shall be like a. Tree

1897
01:44:16,560 --> 01:44:20,160
Speaker 2: this is an important part that's planeted by the rivers of,

1898
01:44:20,280 --> 01:44:24,160
Speaker 2: waters that being her for fruit in his own. Season

1899
01:44:25,160 --> 01:44:29,639
Speaker 2: his leaf also shall not, wither and whatsoever he does shall.

1900
01:44:29,720 --> 01:44:38,760
Speaker 1: Prosper, Okay so he's planted by he become a. Tree

1901
01:44:38,840 --> 01:44:42,439
Speaker 1: he's gonna be planted by. Water because he in whatever

1902
01:44:42,600 --> 01:44:46,320
Speaker 1: fruit comes from, that because he meditates a, word and

1903
01:44:46,479 --> 01:44:50,439
Speaker 1: then that his his his leaf may never, wither meaning

1904
01:44:50,560 --> 01:44:53,880
Speaker 1: that he was stay strong and. Healthy, yes, okay you did, good,

1905
01:44:54,280 --> 01:45:00,160
Speaker 1: good you did. Good you did. Good, okay, nakon you.

1906
01:45:01,680 --> 01:45:04,679
Speaker 2: Probably did better do. It So i'm gonna get. Grace,

1907
01:45:04,920 --> 01:45:09,200
Speaker 2: okay some. Grace okay here you? Ready, YEAH.

1908
01:45:10,680 --> 01:45:15,599
Speaker 1: I got a million dollar Dreams Federal. Nightmas we Popped

1909
01:45:15,720 --> 01:45:20,960
Speaker 1: chris with your, champagne but still drink. Beers what did you? Expect?

1910
01:45:21,160 --> 01:45:25,160
Speaker 1: SEE i came from, nothing real street figure and wouldn't

1911
01:45:25,240 --> 01:45:28,439
Speaker 1: change for. Nothing got my homies out the, hood such

1912
01:45:28,479 --> 01:45:32,960
Speaker 1: a wonderful feeling ten car garage with the twelve foot.

1913
01:45:33,080 --> 01:45:36,880
Speaker 1: Ceilings it ought to be a crime just to be this.

1914
01:45:37,160 --> 01:45:40,680
Speaker 1: Good it ought to be a crime just to be this.

1915
01:45:40,880 --> 01:45:42,639
Speaker 1: Hood yeah, yeah.

1916
01:45:42,960 --> 01:45:52,720
Speaker 2: Oh us soon say. Again, no it's a series of dichotomous.

1917
01:45:52,800 --> 01:45:56,680
Speaker 2: Situations just because you're in the mansions doesn't mean that

1918
01:45:56,840 --> 01:45:59,080
Speaker 2: you ever left the, Hood and just because you drink

1919
01:45:59,200 --> 01:46:03,840
Speaker 2: champagne doesn't mean that you don't crave. Here it's saying

1920
01:46:04,080 --> 01:46:08,000
Speaker 2: that no matter how successful you, get that that poor

1921
01:46:08,120 --> 01:46:11,560
Speaker 2: guy that started out with nothing always goes moves in

1922
01:46:11,640 --> 01:46:14,080
Speaker 2: the mansion with the day it, is AM i, right you're,

1923
01:46:14,160 --> 01:46:15,080
Speaker 2: right all, right.

1924
01:46:15,040 --> 01:46:19,000
Speaker 1: You might well do, it so give, me give me SOME.

1925
01:46:22,479 --> 01:46:22,960
Speaker 2: I love.

1926
01:46:23,040 --> 01:46:25,000
Speaker 1: It, yeah that's. Good i'll have you up at the

1927
01:46:25,680 --> 01:46:27,640
Speaker 1: let's do. It. Okay. No.

1928
01:46:28,200 --> 01:46:32,479
Speaker 2: Uh in some way you talked About tupac being like

1929
01:46:32,520 --> 01:46:35,559
Speaker 2: a preacher to. You in some, ways we talked about

1930
01:46:35,600 --> 01:46:39,479
Speaker 2: you being a. Leader in some, ways you reach out

1931
01:46:39,520 --> 01:46:42,559
Speaker 2: to me or we'll have a. Conversation there's a thin.

1932
01:46:42,680 --> 01:46:46,720
Speaker 2: Line we're both working with words and people are responding

1933
01:46:46,800 --> 01:46:50,880
Speaker 2: to those words and making, Changes and whether you know

1934
01:46:51,000 --> 01:46:55,120
Speaker 2: it or, not in some way you're somebody's fastor right,

1935
01:46:56,120 --> 01:46:58,920
Speaker 2: right and maybe the only pastor that they will pay

1936
01:46:59,000 --> 01:47:07,240
Speaker 2: any attention. To, yeah, okay and Sometimes i'm dropping. Lines

1937
01:47:07,360 --> 01:47:12,000
Speaker 2: it's changing lives and there's not that much. Difference you

1938
01:47:12,080 --> 01:47:15,640
Speaker 2: got music behind. YOU i got music behind. Me so

1939
01:47:15,800 --> 01:47:19,080
Speaker 2: we can have a conversation and find a. Bridge though

1940
01:47:19,200 --> 01:47:21,439
Speaker 2: my message ends up at a different, spot because my

1941
01:47:21,640 --> 01:47:24,840
Speaker 2: message is to end you up closer To. Christ your,

1942
01:47:24,880 --> 01:47:27,639
Speaker 2: message you're still trying to figure out where it ends.

1943
01:47:27,720 --> 01:47:35,800
Speaker 2: Up there's enough synergy for us to have conversation and

1944
01:47:35,960 --> 01:47:42,640
Speaker 2: camaraderie and. Connectivity you like, BUSINESS i like. Business you

1945
01:47:42,880 --> 01:47:47,120
Speaker 2: pull yourself up from. NOTHING i did, too the same

1946
01:47:47,240 --> 01:47:51,760
Speaker 2: roaches that was in your bed left. Time my mother Had,

1947
01:47:51,800 --> 01:47:59,200
Speaker 2: alzheimer's showers Had. Alzheimer's and that make us, finally, yeah

1948
01:47:59,200 --> 01:48:02,280
Speaker 2: it makes us, family, bro it makes his. FAMILY i

1949
01:48:02,320 --> 01:48:04,040
Speaker 2: mean even when you call me, though you, say, hey

1950
01:48:04,080 --> 01:48:08,280
Speaker 2: how you, doing Brother, Jesus, yeah you know this, TIME i,

1951
01:48:08,360 --> 01:48:12,640
Speaker 2: mean it's it's. Amazing it's just amazing, that.

1952
01:48:13,160 --> 01:48:16,960
Speaker 1: You, KNOW i keep thinking about that born, arrow you,

1953
01:48:17,040 --> 01:48:19,320
Speaker 1: know as far as it pulled us, back, yeah you,

1954
01:48:19,400 --> 01:48:24,040
Speaker 1: know projected us. Forward. Yeah, yeah and and AND i see,

1955
01:48:24,120 --> 01:48:28,880
Speaker 1: that and which is why you, KNOW i definitely because you,

1956
01:48:28,960 --> 01:48:32,400
Speaker 1: said you, know like a lot of, TIMES i was

1957
01:48:32,439 --> 01:48:35,240
Speaker 1: able to pick Out tupac because he resonated with me.

1958
01:48:35,600 --> 01:48:39,720
Speaker 1: DIRECTLY i needed. That and even WHEN i listened to your,

1959
01:48:39,800 --> 01:48:44,040
Speaker 1: sermons you resonate with me. Directly you, KNOW i get

1960
01:48:44,080 --> 01:48:46,439
Speaker 1: it Because i've been to. Church i've listened to sermons,

1961
01:48:46,520 --> 01:48:49,040
Speaker 1: before but some of it goes over my. Head and

1962
01:48:49,600 --> 01:48:52,360
Speaker 1: it's the. Messenger it's truly the. Messenger and that says

1963
01:48:52,400 --> 01:48:54,519
Speaker 1: a lot about you, know the past we've both been,

1964
01:48:54,560 --> 01:48:56,920
Speaker 1: on because if you've been on a similar, path you

1965
01:48:57,080 --> 01:49:00,200
Speaker 1: have similar you, know words and similar phrase as a

1966
01:49:00,280 --> 01:49:04,160
Speaker 1: metaphors and your. Delivery it's very. Similar and if you

1967
01:49:04,280 --> 01:49:06,519
Speaker 1: ever hear a sermon and you can't figure it, out call.

1968
01:49:06,640 --> 01:49:10,760
Speaker 1: Me will you can help?

1969
01:49:10,800 --> 01:49:16,360
Speaker 2: Me rub, guys we'll get. Together it's been a real

1970
01:49:16,479 --> 01:49:21,960
Speaker 2: pleasure to have an opportunity to talk with. YOU i

1971
01:49:22,080 --> 01:49:24,720
Speaker 2: congratulate you on the things that you have accomplished and

1972
01:49:24,760 --> 01:49:26,720
Speaker 2: the things that you've learned and the things you will

1973
01:49:26,880 --> 01:49:28,040
Speaker 2: learn from day to.

1974
01:49:28,160 --> 01:49:28,880
Speaker 1: Day thank.

1975
01:49:28,880 --> 01:49:32,400
Speaker 2: YOU i know that twenty years from, now If i'm still,

1976
01:49:32,520 --> 01:49:37,360
Speaker 2: around the person sitting in that chair will have a

1977
01:49:37,479 --> 01:49:42,120
Speaker 2: whole different perspective because the longer you, live the more you,

1978
01:49:42,360 --> 01:49:46,240
Speaker 2: learn and you never finished learning because we never are

1979
01:49:46,479 --> 01:49:51,960
Speaker 2: as perfect as we. APPEAR i owe, YOU i thank,

1980
01:49:52,080 --> 01:49:55,639
Speaker 2: you AND i can't let you leave TILL i give

1981
01:49:55,640 --> 01:49:58,880
Speaker 2: it to. You my people told me that you were

1982
01:49:58,920 --> 01:50:00,800
Speaker 2: one of the first people to call WHEN i had

1983
01:50:00,840 --> 01:50:03,360
Speaker 2: my health incident on the episode to see IF i was,

1984
01:50:03,439 --> 01:50:06,280
Speaker 2: okay AND i would have never thought.

1985
01:50:06,360 --> 01:50:10,000
Speaker 1: That. YES i just wanted now THAT i live to

1986
01:50:10,080 --> 01:50:14,600
Speaker 1: say it SINCE i. Did. You, GOD i want to

1987
01:50:14,640 --> 01:50:18,040
Speaker 1: tell you THAT i appreciate. Thingboutfulness, yes that means, you

1988
01:50:18,680 --> 01:50:22,160
Speaker 1: my brother, man AND i appreciate it just, always you,

1989
01:50:22,240 --> 01:50:25,000
Speaker 1: know being a you, know just a just an ear

1990
01:50:25,439 --> 01:50:29,559
Speaker 1: and always like saving space for. ME i appreciate. It, Always,

1991
01:50:29,720 --> 01:50:32,920
Speaker 1: yes any, time. Anywhere thank you Brother god bleak for something.

1992
01:50:33,720 --> 01:50:37,479
Speaker 2: Something hey, EVERYBODY i want to take this time to

1993
01:50:37,600 --> 01:50:41,760
Speaker 2: thank you for watching The Next chapter. Podcasts if this

1994
01:50:41,960 --> 01:50:46,600
Speaker 2: conversation inspired, you helped you reflect on an, idea or

1995
01:50:46,920 --> 01:50:50,760
Speaker 2: spark something new inside of, you make sure to, like

1996
01:50:51,160 --> 01:50:53,439
Speaker 2: comments and subscribed so you.

1997
01:50:53,760 --> 01:50:55,559
Speaker 1: Don't miss future.

1998
01:50:55,760 --> 01:51:01,840
Speaker 2: Episodes, remember life isn't about how you, Begin it's about

1999
01:51:01,880 --> 01:51:08,000
Speaker 2: how you finished, Strong so start your next chapter without right.

2000
01:51:08,080 --> 01:51:10,080
Speaker 1: Here every week