Speaker 1: Your conscious mind has logic, Your subconscious mind has happened.
Speaker 1: It's all an illusion. It's all a program that we've created.
Speaker 1: It's not necessarily true.
Speaker 2: Are we able to change our subconscious one hundred percent?
Speaker 3: Jim Curtis is a transformational coach, author, and hypnotherapist who
Speaker 3: has spent years studying how the subconscious mind shapes our reality,
Speaker 3: not just how we think, but how we heal, love,
Speaker 3: and create. He teaches that we don't manifest what we want,
Speaker 3: but we manifest what we believe our identity can achieve.
Speaker 4: It's emotion driven.
Speaker 1: Everybody has to just say one word and how they're feeling.
Speaker 1: So question everything because when we stop questioning things, and
Speaker 1: that becomes absolute truth. Questioning yourself, right, is this the
Speaker 1: right choice? As opposed to why did I make that choice?
Speaker 1: It's allowing you to control your own mind. I'm no
Speaker 1: longer a victim of it. Yeah, and instead its life
Speaker 1: is not happening to me anymore, It's happening through me.
Speaker 1: Anytime that we want to change our identity, just start
Speaker 1: to change the way that we use the word the
Speaker 1: two words I am, I'm.
Speaker 3: Rady w KA and on my podcast, A really good
Speaker 3: Cry we embrace the messy and the beautiful, iding a
Speaker 3: space for raw, unfielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow
Speaker 3: you to tune in to learn, connect, and find comfort together.
Speaker 2: Jim, thank you so much for being here. I'm so
Speaker 2: grateful to have you.
Speaker 3: Have been following your work for a while, and I'm
Speaker 3: so excited to have this conversation with you.
Speaker 1: I've been following your videos and work for years. Have
Speaker 1: you Yes, Yes, I love everyone that you cut together,
Speaker 1: and I always thought you.
Speaker 4: Were so funny.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you.
Speaker 3: Well, hopefully we'll be able to have some sort of
Speaker 3: humor in this conversation. I wanted to start off by
Speaker 3: asking you because I know a lot of your work,
Speaker 3: if not most of it, is to do with the
Speaker 3: subconscious mind. And I think I hear that word a lot,
Speaker 3: and I think people have, I'm sure heard the term,
Speaker 3: but I'm not sure people actually know what that means, Like,
Speaker 3: what is the subconscious mind?
Speaker 1: The subconscious mind is the level below your conscious mind,
Speaker 1: So some people call it the unconscious. But the school
Speaker 1: that I went to said, you're not unconscious. That's when
Speaker 1: you're sleeping, or maybe when you're sleeping, you're not even unconscious.
Speaker 1: Imagine if when we're sleeping, we're actually just going into
Speaker 1: a totally different dimension altogether.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 1: So the subconscious mind is the level below your conscious mind,
Speaker 1: the autonomic nervous system. Some people even believe it's not
Speaker 1: even in your body or in your mind, it's just
Speaker 1: your energy.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: And is it something that we have the ability to
Speaker 3: control or have any kind of control over, or is
Speaker 3: it something that is beyond us We.
Speaker 1: Can control because we built it. It's a program, so
Speaker 1: we based on from zero to eight years old, when
Speaker 1: we were growing up, we'd have this emotion this is
Speaker 1: like real emotion and drop into our subconscious mind and
Speaker 1: become a belief, and then that belief creates the program
Speaker 1: that runs our conscious mind. We think that our conscious
Speaker 1: mind's in control, it's like five percent of our decision
Speaker 1: making and nine is a subconscious No.
Speaker 3: Way, And so what I know, you just mentioned a
Speaker 3: few things, But what from the moment we're born to
Speaker 3: our adulthood creates our subconscious Like, what is it that's
Speaker 3: impacting our subconscious to make.
Speaker 1: Our teachers, our parents, our older siblings?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: You know that's what people talk about generational trauma too,
Speaker 1: that this is like the trauma from even our genes,
Speaker 1: even just goles down, or just learning from our parents
Speaker 1: when they tell us, hey, money doesn't grow on trees,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, we have this belief that
Speaker 1: we have to work really hard for money in that
Speaker 1: where like it's hard or not good enough.
Speaker 4: It's a big one.
Speaker 2: And so is it our automatic reaction to something?
Speaker 3: Is that how the subconscious would present itself on a
Speaker 3: daily basis, Like would how on a day to day
Speaker 3: basis when I'm walking around, how does my subconscious come out?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: So it is very much so like have you ever
Speaker 1: had a reflex you drop your keys and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden you care from really quickly. That's your subconscious
Speaker 1: Your conscious mind has logic, your subconscious mind has habit.
Speaker 3: Your conscious mind has logic, and your subconscious mind has habit. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: And then are we able to change.
Speaker 2: Our subconscious one hundred percent?
Speaker 3: And what are some of the practices and tools that
Speaker 3: we would be able to use to be able to
Speaker 3: do that?
Speaker 1: So we've been programmed, right, All this stuff is programmed
Speaker 1: subconscious mind, and then the program runs and we start
Speaker 1: to live that we believe it's reality.
Speaker 4: So just change the program.
Speaker 1: We have to recognize that it's all made up, right,
Speaker 1: It's all an illusion. It's all a program that we've created.
Speaker 1: It's not necessarily true. So we start to think that
Speaker 1: the subconscious mind is really true, like our identity. We
Speaker 1: have to be this person, it has to be and
Speaker 1: my pain is real and all these things are real.
Speaker 4: So the first part to actually.
Speaker 1: Changing the subconscious mind is realizing that.
Speaker 4: It's all an illusion, it's all fake.
Speaker 1: And the second part is to say, okay, what is
Speaker 1: what am I aware of? What can I be aware of?
Speaker 1: And it's like, I don't really know what my.
Speaker 4: Programs are my subconscious mind.
Speaker 1: We all you have to do is look at the
Speaker 1: results in your life consciously and what are you getting.
Speaker 1: Are you really good with organization? Are you really good
Speaker 1: with meeting new people? Are you really good with love?
Speaker 1: Are you really good with parenting? Are you really good
Speaker 1: or are you really bad at some of those things?
Speaker 1: And you got to see what your beliefs in your
Speaker 1: subconscious mind are. So that's awareness, and the next part
Speaker 1: is when you go in to actually change it. You
Speaker 1: can actually start to talk to yourself differently because your
Speaker 1: subconscious mind is always.
Speaker 3: Listening, right, and then you mentioned awareness. Now, I think
Speaker 3: a lot of people can go through the day me
Speaker 3: included for a lot of my life where I didn't
Speaker 3: actually know parts of myself, I didn't know what I
Speaker 3: was good at wasn't good at. I found it really
Speaker 3: difficult to become aware of who I was and you know,
Speaker 3: let alone my subconscious self or my day to day stuff.
Speaker 3: And so what are some techniques day to day that
Speaker 3: someone could be using to start at that first step
Speaker 3: of just being aware, Like, how do I become aware
Speaker 3: of my subconscious and myself?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1: It's emotion driven, So just being emotionally Like what in
Speaker 1: some of the groups that I do, everybody has to
Speaker 1: just say one word and how they're.
Speaker 2: Feeling right in the moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and some people like I feel good, I feel great,
Speaker 1: I feel whatever. Those aren't emotions, right, So there's like
Speaker 1: four thousand emotions that we can possibly have when we
Speaker 1: start to live in these like five emotions or six
Speaker 1: emotions of I feel angry, jealous, whatever, happy, excited.
Speaker 4: There's so many more emotions.
Speaker 1: So when we come up present to how we're actually
Speaker 1: feeling and being able to express it, and we can
Speaker 1: build awareness how.
Speaker 4: Did you do it?
Speaker 3: By one sitting with myself in a lot of silence,
Speaker 3: like really listening to what my mind is telling me.
Speaker 3: I had to do that a lot to you know,
Speaker 3: whenever I would ask other people to input into my life,
Speaker 3: or whenever I would ask someone else to make a
Speaker 3: decision for me, I had to really sit and think,
Speaker 3: but why am I not able to make this decision
Speaker 3: for myself? Like what is it that's stopping me from
Speaker 3: believing that I can do this myself? Believing that someone
Speaker 3: else has a stronger hold or a stronger understanding of
Speaker 3: who I am?
Speaker 2: And why do I feel that way?
Speaker 3: Because obviously there's a deeper rooted issue for me to
Speaker 3: outsource what I should be doing for myself to other people.
Speaker 3: And so I had to spend a lot of time
Speaker 3: listening to the words that I was saying to myself,
Speaker 3: because a lot of what I was outputting was based
Speaker 3: on the things I must have been telling myself for
Speaker 3: a long time that you can't make your own decisions.
Speaker 3: If you do, they're probably going to be the worst ones.
Speaker 3: Your mum knows you better than you do. Your system
Speaker 3: makes better decisions, she's smarter than you. Well, what of
Speaker 3: those things were Yeah, I didn't realize that they were
Speaker 3: playing in my mind constantly, which then meant the output
Speaker 3: or the questions I was asking or you know, if
Speaker 3: someone would ask me a question, the first thing I
Speaker 3: would do is look to my husband or my sister
Speaker 3: for them to answer it, even if it was about me.
Speaker 3: I noticed only when I saw someone who I felt
Speaker 3: was so confident and had so much self belief and
Speaker 3: help themselves. So you know when someone walks into a room,
Speaker 3: when you feel the energy and you're like, that person
Speaker 3: feels confident, not even by what they're saying, but by
Speaker 3: the energy that they're carrying.
Speaker 2: And I was like, how does someone even become like that?
Speaker 3: And I realized it's like firm faith and belief in
Speaker 3: their own powers, their own abilities, their own voice. And
Speaker 3: then I found ways to slowly strengthen.
Speaker 2: That in that way.
Speaker 3: But it's really, you know you were saying, it's a habit,
Speaker 3: Like the subconscious is a habit, and for me, I
Speaker 3: find it so easy to slip back into it, even
Speaker 3: if you've created new pathways. If you get put into
Speaker 3: like a specific environment, that.
Speaker 4: The trigger that's Oh.
Speaker 1: Okay, what the thing that I heard you say? Though,
Speaker 1: is probably the most important way to change your subconscious mind,
Speaker 1: which pot what I heard you say is I started.
Speaker 4: To question it.
Speaker 1: Right, So question everything because when we stop questioning things,
Speaker 1: and that becomes absolute truth. And there is no absolute truth.
Speaker 1: Everybody has their own truth. I remember a Buddhist teacher
Speaker 1: of mine said, you know, when you look out at
Speaker 1: the Hudson River in New York City and at twilight
Speaker 1: and the sun is setting, and you can see the
Speaker 1: twinkling on the right waves in the middle, and so
Speaker 1: serene and so beautiful that you just want to get
Speaker 1: out there and touch it. Is that reality or not?
Speaker 1: And one person may say, yes, it's absolutely gorgeous, right,
Speaker 1: and another person say, when I went out, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so gorgeous. I wanted to swim out and touch it.
Speaker 1: And it became the worst nightmare of their life.
Speaker 4: So they could.
Speaker 1: Drown the currents and they realized that it was just
Speaker 1: an illusion. There is no truth. So questioning everything like
Speaker 1: you just started with, I scided, why did I ask
Speaker 1: myself these things? Why did I act like this? And
Speaker 1: so this starts with.
Speaker 3: The question of why I wonder if Sometimes with that
Speaker 3: kind of mentality where you're constantly questioning yourself. There can
Speaker 3: be this weird thin line between where it becomes a
Speaker 3: little bit obsessive and a little bit like is this real?
Speaker 2: Is this not? Should I be believing this? Should I not?
Speaker 3: How does someone actually know what their body's telling them,
Speaker 3: what their mind's telling them, is truth or not? Like,
Speaker 3: how do you distinguish between the truth? Yeah, or reality
Speaker 3: and illusion?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's that's a great distinction, right, because there's a difference
Speaker 1: between questioning yourself and being inquisitive. Question. So here's the
Speaker 1: distinction questioning yourself?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: Is this the right choice? As opposed to.
Speaker 4: Why did I make that choice?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What was the impetus? As opposed to is this wrong?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: When you have confidence in your authenticity and you say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm authentic, I'm confident, I make choices, it's all going
Speaker 1: to work out. Even if it doesn't work out, right,
Speaker 1: I can't do it wrong. Now, what was my driver
Speaker 1: of that? That's the question as opposed to did I
Speaker 1: make the right decision?
Speaker 3: What were some of the things that you noticed as
Speaker 3: you've gone through this journey of obviously awakening your subconscious
Speaker 3: or becoming aware of it. What were the biggest benefits
Speaker 3: that you found in your own life.
Speaker 4: So many things happen right.
Speaker 1: I didn't become a stuck identity and the stock identity says,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a Wall Street trader. I live in
Speaker 1: New York City. You know, I have these friends in
Speaker 1: this life. And so as I started to realize that, oh,
Speaker 1: my subconscious mind can change, I don't have to be
Speaker 1: limited by that. I can have whatever I want, and
Speaker 1: I can change my identity. I don't have to be
Speaker 1: that identity all the time. And so I could be
Speaker 1: different and that's okay. And if people see me differently
Speaker 1: or like say, no, that's not you, then I can
Speaker 1: be confident enough to say, is it's so true?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: I think so many people don't change who they are
Speaker 3: because they're worried about other people perceiving the way that
Speaker 3: they're they've done a drastic change. I remember, even for
Speaker 3: me when I were I always used to think when
Speaker 3: I got into my spiritual practices and when I really
Speaker 3: changed the way that I was living, the first thoughts
Speaker 3: I had was God, I met the people I went
Speaker 3: to high school with must be high school with must
Speaker 3: be laughing at this, or they must be thinking, oh,
Speaker 3: she's can't be like this, or she must be faking it,
Speaker 3: or how did she turn from this person to this person?
Speaker 3: And so much of I wanted to hide so much
Speaker 3: of what I was changing because I was worried that
Speaker 3: I was going to be seen as someone who wasn't
Speaker 3: actually living it, or wasn't actually that is impossible for
Speaker 3: this person to have changed.
Speaker 2: I would love to hear.
Speaker 3: Your journey that you went on, and you know, you
Speaker 3: mentioned Wall Street, and I would love to hear how
Speaker 3: you went from being on Wall Street or maybe even
Speaker 3: before that, and what brought you to this path and
Speaker 3: this journey.
Speaker 1: One thing I will say before you say that is
Speaker 1: the one thing that I hear from most people that
Speaker 1: are trying to change their career is that they're afraid that.
Speaker 4: You know, people are going to say, who are you
Speaker 4: to do that?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 4: Coaches are spiritual people like who are you? What are you?
Speaker 4: You know? You the Buddha?
Speaker 2: Exactly?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the bodies once you get over that, you know,
Speaker 1: it's kind of the idea of surrender and radical acceptance.
Speaker 1: Once you get over there the mel Robbins let them
Speaker 1: of it all.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, then you can do it.
Speaker 1: But with me, it started I was a Wall Street
Speaker 1: I was on Wall Street as a trader on the
Speaker 1: floor of the American Stock Ischine, and that was a
Speaker 1: really tough job, but that was kind of like the
Speaker 1: identity that I wanted. I wanted to be like this
Speaker 1: one trader, Yeah Street exactly. And then I just realized
Speaker 1: it wasn't for me. But I stuck with it longer
Speaker 1: than I should have because my family thought that that
Speaker 1: was a great job and it was just like so
Speaker 1: I stuck with it. But then I realized, you know,
Speaker 1: I can make a change that wasn't for me, and
Speaker 1: I went to work for a company that I was
Speaker 1: trading and they were a health driven company. I remember
Speaker 1: going from the wall the floor of the stock exchange,
Speaker 1: which all guys very masculine, very macho like yelling and screaming,
Speaker 1: to being in like a loft and soho and like
Speaker 1: bean bag chairs and people taking breaks from naps have fun.
Speaker 2: That was like a great environment.
Speaker 4: It was the best.
Speaker 1: But I also thought it was kind of weak or
Speaker 1: wimpy at the time, and then I realized that was
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have to be in pain to
Speaker 1: be successful.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: During this time, I had a health issue and which
Speaker 1: was progressing really rapidly, which was from an undiagnosed.
Speaker 4: Tumor on my spinal cord.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: And so it was a lesion, So we didn't know
Speaker 1: what the cause of it was. I just knew that
Speaker 1: I was getting sick and more paralyzed by the day,
Speaker 1: and so I was trying to ignore that and all
Speaker 1: the symptoms because I couldn't deal with.
Speaker 4: The pain of it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oddly enough, it drove me to work for more and
Speaker 1: more health companies to help, you know, build companies like
Speaker 1: web and d and Everyday Health and Remedy health media
Speaker 1: and yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I really started to focus on
Speaker 1: myself and tell this story and I'm telling you now
Speaker 1: that I actually got some acceptance and I could become
Speaker 1: my authentic self. And when that happened, then I started
Speaker 1: to take care of myself more and get better.
Speaker 3: How has that change in mindset helped you through any
Speaker 3: pain that you've had in your life physically or you know?
Speaker 3: The change in you obviously went through the whole process
Speaker 3: of removing the tumor.
Speaker 1: I assume or no, it was that it couldn't It
Speaker 1: was on my spinal cords, so it couldn't be removed,
Speaker 1: so I walk with a limp now.
Speaker 4: So it's just it is. But there was a lot
Speaker 4: of pain that went with it, of course.
Speaker 1: Like extreme pain, yeah, physical pain. And that's gone now
Speaker 1: really Yeah.
Speaker 4: And the only way.
Speaker 1: That I can understand that it's gone is because I've
Speaker 1: released the emotion of it. I've released the I've accepted it.
Speaker 1: It's no longer I'm no longer a victim of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And instead it's life is not happening to me anymore.
Speaker 1: It's happening as me through me.
Speaker 2: It's actually so beautiful or to think that, I know,
Speaker 2: you talk about how everything ends.
Speaker 3: Up being an illusion, like most of the things that
Speaker 3: we experience in life is an illusion. And what I
Speaker 3: took from it was you have the ability to change
Speaker 3: your reality. Like everything that's happening to you or around you,
Speaker 3: you actually have the ability to shift it, to change it,
Speaker 3: to receive it differently.
Speaker 2: Yes, could you share I'm.
Speaker 3: Sure you've had lots of clients you know, that have
Speaker 3: come to you for things like this. Could you share
Speaker 3: some everyday illusions you're seeing that people get stuck in
Speaker 3: or have the belief of on a daily basis, that
Speaker 3: that stunts them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's a couple very I calm, transactional. Everything is
Speaker 1: based in fear. Yeah, everything is fear. Everything that we
Speaker 1: do in life is either overcoming fear in some way,
Speaker 1: Fear that we're not good enough, not capable enough, fear
Speaker 1: that you know, we're not going to have what we want,
Speaker 1: that we're not going to be more of of it.
Speaker 1: It's just based on our primal drive is fear. So
Speaker 1: everything that you do and that you're not axed, you
Speaker 1: say what am I afraid of? And when you answer
Speaker 1: the question, what am I afraid of? And then what
Speaker 1: would I do if I wasn't afraid?
Speaker 4: Then you figured it out. So most of it's around.
Speaker 1: I get a lot of people that say I'm stuck,
Speaker 1: and I was like, are you stuck? Or really, I
Speaker 1: think there's something different. Perhaps you're not stuck at all.
Speaker 1: Perhaps you're just afraid. So changing the word from I'm
Speaker 1: stuck to I'm afraid and then what because I'm stuck
Speaker 1: is ambiguous, right, you don't know how to change it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm afraid. It's like, oh, I can change fear. Let's
Speaker 1: see what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of taking the
Speaker 1: step to get a divorced I'm afraid of taking the
Speaker 1: step to make a commitment to this step, to go
Speaker 1: in front of an audience and be the coach that
Speaker 1: I want to be. So there's transactional fears.
Speaker 2: The transactional fears are all to do with I call.
Speaker 1: Them transactional which are like fear of flying, fear of snakes,
Speaker 1: fear spiders, those kind of things.
Speaker 4: Yes, and I can remove those rapidly. And so there's
Speaker 4: a woman.
Speaker 1: I just at my last workshop. She was afraid of snakes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so we had to get to the real point
Speaker 1: of it, like why are you afraid? What's the who
Speaker 1: cares if you're afraid of snakes? Don't go near snakes?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: And so the issue was that she was fearful, that
Speaker 1: she was weak in front of her husband and her
Speaker 1: son because they like to go hiking and she couldn't
Speaker 1: go right. And then she was fearful because her grandmother
Speaker 1: the program put in a fear of snakes when she
Speaker 1: was a child. So we went into hypnosis and within
Speaker 1: five minutes she was no longer a fear of afraid.
Speaker 2: Of snakes, no way.
Speaker 1: And in fact, that weekend she went on three large
Speaker 1: long hikes and now she's reporting that, you know she can.
Speaker 1: She's hiking with her son and zero fear.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, something that could have yeh, something that was taking
Speaker 3: away closely time with people that she wanted to spend
Speaker 3: time with. Yeah, it no longer affected her.
Speaker 4: You don't hear another one?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to.
Speaker 4: Jack Osborne, Osborne's son.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He and sorry Jack, if you listen to this,
Speaker 1: I'm telling your stuff. But it was on his podcast.
Speaker 1: So he's afraid of spiders, okay, and it kind of
Speaker 1: went back. We found out the program in his childhood
Speaker 1: that made him afraid of spiders, and we went in
Speaker 1: and within five minutes kind of changed that. And I said,
Speaker 1: you know, how are you feeling about spiders now? And
Speaker 1: it's like they just you know, I feel like laughing
Speaker 1: because we put in joy and we put in laughter
Speaker 1: instead of fear around these spiders.
Speaker 3: Well, tell me more about hypnotherapy because obviously it's such
Speaker 3: a powerful tool. You're able to help these phobias or
Speaker 3: these fears within five minutes using this practice. For people
Speaker 3: who think hypnotherapy is like woo woo, and so you know,
Speaker 3: not real, could you because you know a lot of
Speaker 3: the time people are watching it through through social media.
Speaker 3: They're watching people have, you know, having hypnotherapy sessions online
Speaker 3: where they're not actually experiencing it. Could you explain how
Speaker 3: hypnotherapy works and kind of take away the myth of
Speaker 3: it being like like a magical thing, you know.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it is magical too, Yeah, but
Speaker 2: for all the skeptics out there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So hypnotherapy gets to the greater thing.
Speaker 4: Those are the transactional.
Speaker 1: So with hypnotherapy you can go from the transactional of
Speaker 1: I want to remove that fear to a broader, bigger,
Speaker 1: life changing identity change, which is I'm good enough, right,
Speaker 1: I don't have to be afraid of not being good enough.
Speaker 1: I can be my authentic self because it's enough, and
Speaker 1: therefore we can get to what we want most, which
Speaker 1: is love.
Speaker 4: And so through.
Speaker 1: Hypnotherapy, it's mostly talk, right, We talk. When I do
Speaker 1: a session with clients or my groups or anything like that,
Speaker 1: they're hours long and we only go into hypnosis for
Speaker 1: like the last twenty minutes. So it's allowing the conscious
Speaker 1: mind to tell your subconscious mind. Because we can direct
Speaker 1: our subconscious mind, it's like it's just there to take orders.
Speaker 1: Whatever we ask it to do, it will find out
Speaker 1: how to do it. So it's allowing us to get
Speaker 1: into a state we call it the alpha theta bridge
Speaker 1: into a theta state so that we can make changes
Speaker 1: to the program. And it's not like the here's the
Speaker 1: myth that like you're unconscious, that it's mind conreuer.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, that you'll act.
Speaker 1: Like a chicken up on stage, which you can be,
Speaker 1: but that's not therapeutic in any way. You actually want
Speaker 1: to be in a place where you are aware of
Speaker 1: what's going on. So it feels as though you're kind
Speaker 1: of just in a really relaxed state. And it's it
Speaker 1: is not mind control. It's yeah, maybe it is my control.
Speaker 1: It's a little minctrol. It's allowing you to control your
Speaker 1: own mind.
Speaker 3: And I feel like, I imagine when you're you're saying you're
Speaker 3: in a relaxed state, which essentially means like I think
Speaker 3: about when you're even getting injection or something, and they're like,
Speaker 3: you need to relax your hand to allow the needle
Speaker 3: to like even get into your body. For it to work,
Speaker 3: you need to relax your hand. So imagine the subconscious mind.
Speaker 3: When you were saying that I was imagining that if
Speaker 3: you're in a tech because I was going to ask
Speaker 3: what type of people have you noticed it doesn't work on?
Speaker 2: And in my mind, I thought, maybe they're.
Speaker 3: The people who are really like they're blocking, they're blocking
Speaker 3: the they're protecting, They're trying to create a barrier around
Speaker 3: their subconscious mind to not allow someone to enter.
Speaker 1: Exactly right, right, Yeah, we're so powerful. Yeah that if
Speaker 1: you don't want it to work, it won't work.
Speaker 3: So with mental health and with you know a lot
Speaker 3: of the mental health disorders, do you think something like
Speaker 3: hypnotherapy is a useful tool in that, whether it's OCD
Speaker 3: or whether it's deep anxiety.
Speaker 1: I think there is so many different tools that help people,
Speaker 1: but I think a lot of the traditional therapy just
Speaker 1: focuses like rehashing the past. Yes, and as you read,
Speaker 1: that's why people are in therapy for ten years and
Speaker 1: keeping and they don't really see much change in their life.
Speaker 4: Right, It's time to stop rehashing the past.
Speaker 3: I was just about to ask you whether you think
Speaker 3: it's possible to train your subconscious mind or change it
Speaker 3: without having to do years of therapy.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, and I'm seeing it.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm able to do that. I was able
Speaker 1: to do it myself and able to do with my clients.
Speaker 1: I mean the most powerful people like Joe Dispenser and
Speaker 1: Tony Robbins who are kind of like have you know,
Speaker 1: partially my teachers. They they can do that really powerfully,
Speaker 1: so that you don't have to dwell on the past.
Speaker 1: It's over, it's done. Looking in the rear mirror is important,
Speaker 1: but driving in it and it is really bad.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Whenever I watch Joe Dispenser's stuff and I hear people's feedback,
Speaker 3: it's amazing how much physical pain is held in the
Speaker 3: body just through what you're holding in your mind, Like
Speaker 3: the amount of physical pain that is manifesting in someone's
Speaker 3: body but is actually linked to their fears, their anger,
Speaker 3: their emotions that are actually being held in their heart
Speaker 3: or in their mind.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I released all my pain just by releasing those things.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 2: And you mentioned the Buddha.
Speaker 3: You mentioned that you've been studying Buddhism. What were some
Speaker 3: of the most beautiful kind of ideas or principles that
Speaker 3: you learned when you were studying different philosophies.
Speaker 1: I've and even in high school, I went to like
Speaker 1: a Jesuit high school. Yeah, we had theology classes of
Speaker 1: different religion and beliefs really interest me, but Judaism and
Speaker 1: Buddhism interests me the most.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of crossover there.
Speaker 1: But this idea of living in some sorrow, this suffering
Speaker 1: of life, and like what does it all mean?
Speaker 4: And well how do we get out of it?
Speaker 1: Is the biggest thing for me because it's all all
Speaker 1: in our mind. Yeah, and once we can go within
Speaker 1: and relieve the suffering, the some sorrow of our mind,
Speaker 1: like these thoughts that are creating the beginning and end
Speaker 1: of all suffering? Is that was so transformational for me?
Speaker 2: Was there daily practice at all?
Speaker 3: Do you have daily practices that you do to help
Speaker 3: with maintaining this mindset well that people can incorporate into
Speaker 3: their day to day life.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It started I guess twenty years ago.
Speaker 4: I went to.
Speaker 1: My first Buddhism class and we went in and we
Speaker 1: did the Metabhavna like this loving kindness?
Speaker 4: Did say that?
Speaker 2: No? Say that again?
Speaker 4: Is how did I say the mena Bhavna? The Meta?
Speaker 2: I haven't heard of that?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the loving it's it's the meditation on loving kindness mon.
Speaker 3: Above no, maybe mone like mon Abovena. Yeah, yeah, maybe,
Speaker 3: I'm sure you know, I'm sure you're right. I was
Speaker 3: just trying to make sense of the words from what
Speaker 3: you mentioned. Money means mind and bavna means love. So yeah, okay, wonderful.
Speaker 4: Likely I got that pronunciation.
Speaker 1: So that changed my That one meditation really changed my life.
Speaker 2: And what does it take you through? What does it do?
Speaker 1: It takes you through this visualization of sending white light
Speaker 1: love from your body to your child self, to friends
Speaker 1: and acquaintances, to.
Speaker 4: Strangers, to enemies.
Speaker 1: And then to the universe and world itself.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, beautiful.
Speaker 3: I think Jay actually did that in one of his
Speaker 3: shows where he was going taking people through that practice
Speaker 3: and remember feeling this like incredible energy of everybody doing
Speaker 3: it at once, all in one room, and it is
Speaker 3: so powerful, like it's such a beautiful practice. I didn't
Speaker 3: realize that it was a common meditation.
Speaker 4: That's yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I did that for years and it changed
Speaker 1: my life. That was one of my practices.
Speaker 2: And that's something you could do every day yourself.
Speaker 4: Do every day, do every day this?
Speaker 3: And what are you saying in your mind when you're
Speaker 3: in this practice? So you're sending love to different parts
Speaker 3: of you, your body, and then you know, emanating out
Speaker 3: into the world. Is there anything that someone should be
Speaker 3: repeating in their mind as they're doing it.
Speaker 1: I don't think that you need to repeat anything in
Speaker 1: your mind. I think it's and you don't have to
Speaker 1: steal your mind. One of the things that I say
Speaker 1: a lot of my meditations visualizations is that your mind
Speaker 1: may wander or wander, but you'll still listen to every word. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because whether you're thinking, mind is thinking. It's a little
Speaker 1: bit different than the meditations of just letting it go. Yes,
Speaker 1: they come in and let it go. This is allow
Speaker 1: your mind to visualize that that energy, that beauty, that love,
Speaker 1: because it amplifies your own energy.
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, so doing this meditation practice mon above not
Speaker 3: And then is there anything else that you recommend?
Speaker 1: I recommend of the things that I do that I
Speaker 1: recommend really visualizations. Most of it's visualization of what you
Speaker 1: really want. So a lot of people have trouble with
Speaker 1: that because they visualize being happy or whatever it is, or.
Speaker 4: The money that they want. But what is it that
Speaker 4: you really want?
Speaker 1: So I'll ask people a lot what do you want?
Speaker 1: They really don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was going to say, it's hard sometimes people,
Speaker 3: it's really difficult to know what is it that I
Speaker 3: actually want?
Speaker 4: What do I want?
Speaker 2: Is it based on what other people want for me?
Speaker 3: Is it based on what I've seen other people being
Speaker 3: happy doing?
Speaker 2: How do I figure that out? What is it that
Speaker 2: I want?
Speaker 1: So the exploration that's part of it. Every day, it's like,
Speaker 1: why do I really want? Let's start small? Why do
Speaker 1: I want for today? Okay, that's not coming. Let's get
Speaker 1: very specific. So the universe, this illusion that we're in,
Speaker 1: we can create anything that we want unlimited. The potential
Speaker 1: is unlimited as soon as we figure out what we want.
Speaker 1: So let's start eliminating. What don't I want. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be overthinking today. I don't want to be,
Speaker 1: you know, upset. I don't want to be angry with
Speaker 1: my spouse and my partner. Now, what do I want?
Speaker 1: Let's think of something that I really want to find.
Speaker 1: I want to find a yellow butterfly. Okay, so how
Speaker 1: do I just start small with that. I'm going to
Speaker 1: write it down on a piece of paper. I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell my subconscious mind that I want.
Speaker 4: To see it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go to bed, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: sink it in the data state that I'm going to
Speaker 1: see a yellow butterfly. I guarantee a yell butterfly. It's
Speaker 1: going to show up in some way, form or shape.
Speaker 3: I love that you said start with even today, like
Speaker 3: what do I want today? Because I think, like you said,
Speaker 3: most of us will say, I just want to be happy,
Speaker 3: I want to feel I don't want to feel sad
Speaker 3: or I you know, we think about these big emotions
Speaker 3: and we generalize that feeling into like I just want
Speaker 3: to be happy. But then if you're someone, well what
Speaker 3: is it that makes you happy? They may not even
Speaker 3: know what it is that makes them happy?
Speaker 2: Like how?
Speaker 3: And so to figure that out? Even if it starts
Speaker 3: with that my crow, okay, today, what would make me happy?
Speaker 3: If I visualize my whole day, what is it going
Speaker 3: through my day that would make me happy? Okay, smiling
Speaker 3: at someone and receiving a smile back that would make.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent? Start small like, yeah, well, the smallest
Speaker 1: things are the best things. It's the ultimate currency, right,
Speaker 1: It's the smallest thing. So we start to say, okay,
Speaker 1: now I can't even cultivate that. I'm so you know,
Speaker 1: I'm in a state where I can't even cultivate that.
Speaker 1: So we start with gratitude, right, So what's the one
Speaker 1: thing that I can be grateful for today? And even
Speaker 1: if that feels mundane or it's not resonating, your subconscious
Speaker 1: mind knows that it's safe, because ingratitude is safety.
Speaker 3: Yes, definitely, I think people get really tired of hearing this,
Speaker 3: the grastude, grastud gratude, because it's, you know, such an
Speaker 3: overused word. But actually, even if I think it's better
Speaker 3: that something positive is overused, then all the other negative
Speaker 3: things that could be piercing through our mind through social media,
Speaker 3: through everywhere else. So actually, even though this gratitude I
Speaker 3: feel like we hear it all the time, it is
Speaker 3: actually such like it is one of the deepest words
Speaker 3: that we need to have in the front, nor even
Speaker 3: on the back of our mind, in the front of
Speaker 3: our mind every single day, every single moment to be
Speaker 3: able to transform it into something that you know, to
Speaker 3: be able to transform a part of your day that
Speaker 3: feels either blah or negative or unexpected into something that
Speaker 3: can feel brilliant in your life. And so, yes, it
Speaker 3: might be an overused word, but it is such a
Speaker 3: powerful word that should be used every single day. You
Speaker 3: should have it in your mind every single day.
Speaker 1: The practice of it is the most part. It's also
Speaker 1: water seems pretty mundane, doesn't.
Speaker 2: It, right?
Speaker 3: Exactly without it you die, yes, exactly quickly.
Speaker 2: It's so true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd prefer to have like a fruity beverage or
Speaker 1: literally water is we think, unless you're in a country
Speaker 1: where there is not clean water, then it is the
Speaker 1: most powerful thing and the most mundane things, and we
Speaker 1: overlook them because, you know, we think that it's too.
Speaker 3: Easy get excited about the little things. That's honestly a
Speaker 3: big change that I made in my life. I don't
Speaker 3: even know whether it was conscious or not, but I
Speaker 3: think it was a conscious thing, like just to be
Speaker 3: so excited by the things that I do every single day,
Speaker 3: like whether it is and you know, after being in
Speaker 3: having I travel quite a bit, but especially when I
Speaker 3: go to India specifically to do with the water you
Speaker 3: mentioned it, and for me, you know, the clean water
Speaker 3: you get comes in plastic bottles.
Speaker 2: You can't drink from the taps there, And so when
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 3: Come back home, I'd be like, oh my gosh, it
Speaker 3: tastes so good to have this water and it is
Speaker 3: so amazing. And so every single day now when I
Speaker 3: have a filtration system, I'm so grateful that I have
Speaker 3: a filtered water system. I'm so grateful that when I
Speaker 3: drink water, I don't have to think about whether it's
Speaker 3: going to.
Speaker 2: Harm me or not.
Speaker 3: And so even in the day to day things of
Speaker 3: what am I eating and oh my gosh, this is
Speaker 3: We're so lucky to have this beautiful food in front
Speaker 3: of us, or the water that we're drinking, or the
Speaker 3: movement that you get to have in your body, like,
Speaker 3: there's so many things every single day to live in
Speaker 3: gratitude for that. I think it's such a if you're
Speaker 3: waiting for the bigger moments to feel gratitude, you're not
Speaker 3: allowing yourself to be in a state of gratitude until
Speaker 3: something huge happens. Here's a sad life to be that's
Speaker 3: like a sad life to live with that.
Speaker 1: But sometimes we started wearing so much pain that we
Speaker 1: can't even trying to figure out the gratitude.
Speaker 4: We can't, right, we can't.
Speaker 1: But that's when I say do this, which is create
Speaker 1: more pain for yourself, like going to India and not
Speaker 1: being able to drink from the tap. That created some
Speaker 1: sense of pain, worrying whether you were going to get
Speaker 1: sick or not, and then when you came back, you
Speaker 1: received it in gratitude. You ever see those guys that
Speaker 1: put on the blindfold and go into darkness for like
Speaker 1: a week. That's painful, and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: you take off the blindfold and the beauty of the
Speaker 1: light and everything that you see, the people who are
Speaker 1: weeping and so Vie beautiful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So what is it? So?
Speaker 1: I made the mistake of reading an article about myself,
Speaker 1: I think from some London news. Oh no, he says,
Speaker 1: like Jim Kurtiz prescribes the most woo woo things. But
Speaker 1: I said, if you're not grateful for your feet in
Speaker 1: your legs and just not even recognizing how easy it
Speaker 1: is for you to walk, try putting a stone in
Speaker 1: your shoe, just for a couple of hours, Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then take it out and you'll be so grateful that
Speaker 1: pain is gone.
Speaker 2: That's so true. Yeah, And it's what I was going
Speaker 2: to ask you.
Speaker 3: You know. You said, sometimes you're in so much pain
Speaker 3: that you can't feel gratitude. As someone who's obviously been
Speaker 3: through physical pain a lot of the time. Even if
Speaker 3: I talk about, well, you don't have children, so you
Speaker 3: don't know how this feels, or you don't you haven't
Speaker 3: been through this, so you can't say that I should
Speaker 3: feel this way. And so it's someone you know, not
Speaker 3: that it's a blessing, but as someone who's been through
Speaker 3: pain that can really help guide people through it. What
Speaker 3: would you say to someone who is in a lot
Speaker 3: of physical pain, Because I do think physical pain can
Speaker 3: take us away from our spiritual practices. It can take
Speaker 3: us away from our gratitude, It can take us away
Speaker 3: from being able to function. And so for people who
Speaker 3: are going through physical pain on a daily basis, whether
Speaker 3: it's through arthritis or something a bit more serious, what
Speaker 3: are some things that they can do, Like how do
Speaker 3: you move away from that pain and into gratitude when
Speaker 3: it feels so far away?
Speaker 1: Yeah, physical pain is the most overwhelming thing because all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, nothing is important in it. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: if you've ever so, whether it's an illness or even
Speaker 1: if you've just had back pain or you throw your
Speaker 1: back up. Yeah, this all of a sudden, nothing else matters.
Speaker 1: Those things like that work that you needed to do,
Speaker 1: and like the see in that restaurant dinner that you
Speaker 1: need to go, all of a sudden, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: And so the biggest thing is that we start to
Speaker 1: really get upset and angry and worried about that pain,
Speaker 1: right right, And the first thing is what if this
Speaker 1: lasts forever?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And so now we're feeding and dwelling it, and all
Speaker 1: the chemicals that we're releasing towards that is fueling the
Speaker 1: inflammation of that pain. And so it's really hard to
Speaker 1: do but to start to think about things that make
Speaker 1: the pain go away. And burn victims, they often show
Speaker 1: a lot of really funny movies and they showed that
Speaker 1: burn victims that played video games felt less pain.
Speaker 4: Distracted from it.
Speaker 1: Burn victims, And I say burn victims because the studies
Speaker 1: that were done like this is the most intense pain
Speaker 1: that you can have. So those that were laughing at
Speaker 1: funny movies felt less pain. And so what creates a
Speaker 1: distraction for you into what allows you to allow the
Speaker 1: most amount of endorphins and oxytonisin out in your body
Speaker 1: so that the pain is numbed. Now, with hypnosis, people
Speaker 1: can go undergo root canals and without any anesthetic. Wow,
Speaker 1: So we know that our opioid receptor is the ones
Speaker 1: that we take drugs for to help us release more
Speaker 1: of so that we don't feel pain.
Speaker 4: We can release that with our mind.
Speaker 3: That's amazing. I didn't know that about the rook And
Speaker 3: I'm going to try that one day. You've been talking
Speaker 3: about knowing what you want, and I think some way
Speaker 3: you say, we don't manifest what we want, We manifest
Speaker 3: what we believe our identity can achieve. Yes, can you
Speaker 3: break that down for people who are trying to manifest
Speaker 3: something in their life right now? Like, how do you
Speaker 3: start manifesting what you want in your life?
Speaker 1: Okay, So we start to think about manifesting, it's like
Speaker 1: if I had know that million dollars anywhere like out here, now,
Speaker 1: I'm going to visualizee and feel it all those things, right,
Speaker 1: But we have this belief that like, yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: can't have.
Speaker 4: You know that this is not the identity of me.
Speaker 1: My identity is that I'm a nine to five worker
Speaker 1: and that I make my salary and that that's my
Speaker 1: that's my identity. And identity has a homeostasis like everything
Speaker 1: else in our body, ceiling and a floor if I
Speaker 1: lose my job, I'll find another one. And the ceiling
Speaker 1: is the million dollars that probably can't get to and
Speaker 1: we just kind of stay in the middle. So to
Speaker 1: change that, to start to have what you want is
Speaker 1: to start to realize, and I call it realizations instead
Speaker 1: of manifestation, is start to realize that you can become
Speaker 1: the energy at any time, that everything that was programmed
Speaker 1: before you can start to reprogram and that how you
Speaker 1: do that is by telling yourself over and over and
Speaker 1: over again what you want right and going into a
Speaker 1: data state, whether it's meditation or hypnosis, and changing those beliefs.
Speaker 3: And I think there's one thing about continuously saying things
Speaker 3: out loud, and I do think there's a power in
Speaker 3: that where you say things out loud and eventually you'll
Speaker 3: believe it. But part of me things it's a little
Speaker 3: bit deeper than that, because you can keep using words
Speaker 3: at the surface level of saying I want a million dollars,
Speaker 3: I want a million dollars, I want a million dollars.
Speaker 3: But if your deep rooted self is telling you, actually
Speaker 3: you're not smart enough and you really can't get that,
Speaker 3: you might think you can, but really is it realistic. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and so part of me thinks and I love this
Speaker 3: word so much. I was actually going to call my
Speaker 3: podcast this But delusional optimism is something that I have
Speaker 3: a deep belief in, and I think a lot of
Speaker 3: successful people in the world have this ability to be
Speaker 3: delusionally optimistic where and you kind of need that, especially
Speaker 3: if you're changing jobs, doing something that's crazy, that's out there,
Speaker 3: that's something that you wouldn't ever believe for yourself. You
Speaker 3: need to start being a little bit delusional and a
Speaker 3: little bit delusionly optimistic. And I think that's required because
Speaker 3: you can keep telling people this is what you want,
Speaker 3: but until you one create the belief for it, but
Speaker 3: then create the actions to show that you believe it,
Speaker 3: like how or almost living as if you already have
Speaker 3: that in your life, almost presenting yourself as if you
Speaker 3: already have that in your life. And there's a difference
Speaker 3: between faking it and doing all the work to make
Speaker 3: yourself get to that point. Like you're still you're doing
Speaker 3: all the work that's required. It's not just believing it,
Speaker 3: it's not just saying it it's okay. Now I'm actually
Speaker 3: going to put into practice and do every single piece
Speaker 3: of you know, the puzzle that's required for this to happen.
Speaker 3: And I think you kind of need all three of
Speaker 3: those things. You need to be doing the work, you
Speaker 3: need the belief, and you need to be saying it.
Speaker 3: I think you need a sprinkle of delusional optimism and
Speaker 3: love that.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 1: A good cry or delusional optimism, I'll take it a
Speaker 1: good cry.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think there's two other things.
Speaker 1: I really love that because delusional optimism means I'm good
Speaker 1: enough to take action right. And the second part is
Speaker 1: any time that we want to change our identity, just
Speaker 1: start to change the way that we use the word
Speaker 1: the two words I am.
Speaker 4: Because I am is one.
Speaker 1: It hits into our belief system so powerfully. When we
Speaker 1: say I am something that means anything. To the contrary,
Speaker 1: we're not for right unless and anything that flows with us.
Speaker 2: We are for yes.
Speaker 1: Right from the very basic like I'm a sports fan.
Speaker 1: That means that like I love to go to games,
Speaker 1: Like if I'm a Boston sports fan, that means like
Speaker 1: my team has to win. That means I don't like
Speaker 1: other teams. Or I am delusionally optimistic. Yes, that means
Speaker 1: that I can make anything happen.
Speaker 4: That I'm in a good mood.
Speaker 1: And then of course there's a much bigger I am,
Speaker 1: which is I had a one and ten trillion chance
Speaker 1: of being born. I am source. I am life itself.
Speaker 4: I am the energy that.
Speaker 1: Creates all of this and everything else and illusion. So
Speaker 1: if I am the source, then I can say I
Speaker 1: am anything that I want to be and it will
Speaker 1: become it.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I love what you said about well the
Speaker 3: idea of I am, but then also create. Every time
Speaker 3: you believe you are something or you want to become something,
Speaker 3: It's almost like we wait till we feel that way
Speaker 3: to have the proof and belief that we are, but
Speaker 3: instead of taking action to then become it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense, like we end up.
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I really want to be I don't
Speaker 3: know why have I been wanting in my life. I'm
Speaker 3: just thinking, Oh, yesterday I was talking to Ja, my husband,
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, I really I need to
Speaker 3: go back into study mode, Like I know I really
Speaker 3: want to do hibology and I want to like I
Speaker 3: need to study more. I'm in this zone where I
Speaker 3: feel like I really am seeking.
Speaker 2: Knowledge and I need to forget what it is.
Speaker 3: And I've been saying this for this whole year, by
Speaker 3: the way I've been saying but now it's become this
Speaker 3: thing where I've been saying it, saying it's saying it.
Speaker 3: But then I was like, what have I done to
Speaker 3: actually manifest and make it happen in my life? Okay,
Speaker 3: I've been saying I want to do it, but I've
Speaker 3: been telling myself I don't have the time. Behind the scenes,
Speaker 3: I've been telling myself that if I start it, I'm
Speaker 3: not going to finish it because.
Speaker 2: I don't have the capacity right now to do it.
Speaker 3: I've been telling myself all these things that actually my
Speaker 3: want is not backed up by my belief and I
Speaker 3: haven't created the time in my schedule or even try
Speaker 3: to physically create space to allow it to happen in
Speaker 3: my life. And so what I should be doing is
Speaker 3: the other way around. Yes, I want to do this,
Speaker 3: So now let me create the space first. Then let
Speaker 3: me sign up to the course. Let me do all
Speaker 3: the actionable things that allow me to believe in this,
Speaker 3: that believe it's possible, rather than saying I want to
Speaker 3: do something and just expecting it to happen.
Speaker 4: What action is that.
Speaker 1: If you leave out action from this recipe, then you
Speaker 1: the cake doesn't rise.
Speaker 2: Yeah, such an action before belief.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well I would try this. So you want to
Speaker 4: study more?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Right, So you want to study more because you want
Speaker 1: to become more not your.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just feel like I'm at a place where
Speaker 3: I output a lot, and for me, I feel like
Speaker 3: I need to feed into I love studying, I love learning,
Speaker 3: and I feel I haven't been in that phase of
Speaker 3: my life for a while.
Speaker 1: Okay, And so what's the identity of someone who studies more?
Speaker 1: There's the identity is I'm a scholar.
Speaker 2: I'm a scholar.
Speaker 3: And I think part of it, you know you're asking
Speaker 3: the question. I think part of it is also feeling
Speaker 3: like I have the qualifications to share the things that
Speaker 3: I want to share.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know, you just uncovered a limiting belief. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Which is I need this so that I can be knowledgeable.
Speaker 4: Yes, or so that I can share.
Speaker 2: I think that's the part of it for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So there's two things.
Speaker 1: There's one like, I'm a scholar, which means that's an
Speaker 1: identity because the action that you'll take as a scholar
Speaker 1: is easily learning. And the more that you say, you know,
Speaker 1: what are you doing in life. Well, really, you could
Speaker 1: say I'm a student of life, I'm a scholar. And
Speaker 1: the more that you say that, then you'll have to
Speaker 1: be aligned with it. You'll have to take the accor
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The second part is undercovering the belief that why you
Speaker 1: are a scholar. I know, is it one because you're
Speaker 1: completely interested in want to share and let other people
Speaker 1: grow or is it because you feel as though you're
Speaker 1: not smart enough?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 3: I think it's both, if I'm honest, I think it's
Speaker 3: a mixture of I absolutely love all the things that
Speaker 3: I've learned in my life that have helped me. Oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, it makes me so happy when I get
Speaker 3: to share it and then hear people also being impacted
Speaker 3: by it. I think a deeper issue is I've always
Speaker 3: felt like I'm not smart enough to be able to
Speaker 3: share things, whether it's from the grades I got in
Speaker 3: college or whatever it was, like, I've always felt like
Speaker 3: I need to keep proving myself educationally to feel like
Speaker 3: I'm I have the right to share what I'm sharing.
Speaker 3: And so I think it's definitely a balance of both.
Speaker 3: It's not more one than the other, but the second
Speaker 3: dairy one definitely creeps in to my desire of like
Speaker 3: why I want to do something.
Speaker 1: And then it's interesting that you're actually not taking the
Speaker 1: action to do.
Speaker 3: It right now, Yeah, because I keep telling myself I
Speaker 3: probably won't succeed at it because I'm going to like
Speaker 3: stop doing a halfway or Yeah.
Speaker 1: So that removing that belief that I need to do
Speaker 1: this to be worthy.
Speaker 4: Will allow you.
Speaker 1: To like gift, It will allow you to shift in
Speaker 1: the sense that, like, I'm doing this because I wanted
Speaker 1: to contribute, and so do you.
Speaker 3: Think for me to do that, I would have to
Speaker 3: focus just start trying to focus on the primary of
Speaker 3: what I was saying that I want to do it
Speaker 3: to learn to help other people. Like is it just
Speaker 3: shifting my focus or is it doing other work in
Speaker 3: the background to get rid of that secondary feeling?
Speaker 1: No, I think it's You're already identified, right, So what
Speaker 1: needs to shift. It's this idea of you know, I
Speaker 1: need to have fifty credentials for anybody to listen to me.
Speaker 4: And the truth is you're inherently worthy.
Speaker 1: Yes, That's all you have to do is do some
Speaker 1: research and be able to express it so that your
Speaker 1: worthiness lies in your ability to communicate. Right, we all
Speaker 1: have these different superpowers. So consider that your worthiness doesn't
Speaker 1: need to have a degree because you already have the
Speaker 1: superpower that's incredibly unique, which is where we are right
Speaker 1: now in your podcast. So that is your worthiness interesting.
Speaker 1: And so you're comparing your worthiness to your perception of
Speaker 1: other people's worthinesses, which is a professor that has from
Speaker 1: Cambridge or right, And really, you have something that's completely
Speaker 1: unique to most of the world is the ability to
Speaker 1: express yourself to millions of people in a way that
Speaker 1: is relatable, likable, authentic, and lovely.
Speaker 2: We didn't ask you to ask you that question, so
Speaker 2: you would give me compliments. But I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Oh now, let's look at that what in you is
Speaker 1: resistant to receiving that compliment as if it's not true.
Speaker 2: I know, I appreciate it. I thank you.
Speaker 4: Let me ask you in a different way. This is good.
Speaker 2: I feel like people can So here's.
Speaker 1: This is a normal linguistic programming. Okay, I wonder if
Speaker 1: you know what an impact you make in the world. Mmm,
Speaker 1: how does that feel different from what I just said?
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of what I do.
Speaker 3: I I wonder whether it's having I have a lot
Speaker 3: of questioning in my mind to what I do in
Speaker 3: terms of knowing whether it's impacting people because I don't
Speaker 3: get to speak to people on a daily basis, and
Speaker 3: sometimes obviously the negative takes over the positive of course.
Speaker 4: Of course.
Speaker 1: And so how would it feel if you knew that
Speaker 1: you already could do whatever you wanted in terms that
Speaker 1: you didn't need.
Speaker 4: To study anymore?
Speaker 2: How would I feel if that I could still impact
Speaker 2: people without having to study, If.
Speaker 1: You didn't have to do another you didn't have to
Speaker 1: go and it, or you didn't have to do any
Speaker 1: of that. How would it feel to know that you
Speaker 1: could impact people regardless of that?
Speaker 3: I think you'll feel amazing, But I still feel like
Speaker 3: I think I would feel like I'm missing something because
Speaker 3: I think learning is a big part of something that
Speaker 3: feeds me and makes me happy.
Speaker 4: Good. And now the idea that you know that you
Speaker 4: can learn.
Speaker 2: Well, yes, that's something I'm working on.
Speaker 4: So there it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to the idea that I can learn, well.
Speaker 3: Yes, I need to believe that I am a scholar.
Speaker 4: Right, And that's what it is. I'm a learner.
Speaker 2: I'm a learner. I'm going to start saying that now
Speaker 2: I'm a learner.
Speaker 3: They literally got to a point where he was like,
Speaker 3: you need to stop studying because you've been studying for
Speaker 3: ten years of your life. Before I even started this,
Speaker 3: I did two degrees nutrition and dietetics. Then I did
Speaker 3: a yoga teach training course, then I did an Ivada
Speaker 3: Health counsel of course, and then after I was like,
Speaker 3: I think I need to do like one more thing,
Speaker 3: and he was like, you need to stop with this
Speaker 3: studying now and just be okay with what you're doing.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh yeah, but now I've gotten
Speaker 3: back on it. This has been a few years, but
Speaker 3: it's really useful.
Speaker 2: Actually, thank you. It's really interesting. It's such.
Speaker 4: Together for another time. We'll schedule the session.
Speaker 2: All right, let's not make this about me.
Speaker 1: I could tell no, no, it's not.
Speaker 3: I really appreciate it. It's really useful to go down
Speaker 3: this trial. And you really have to spend time doing it,
Speaker 3: don't you, because there's so many things that can pop
Speaker 3: up in the way of it too.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Wow, it takes expiration.
Speaker 3: We talked about manifestation, but I was wondering whether there's
Speaker 3: a specific process that people should follow on a daily basis,
Speaker 3: Like if they wanted to start manifesting every single day.
Speaker 3: Is there like a guide that you have or something
Speaker 3: that helps people to really understand the process, because I
Speaker 3: think that it's a not a scientific process, but there
Speaker 3: is something to the act of manifesting.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think it's first identifying what you want yep, and
Speaker 1: then telling your subconscious mind exactly what you need to
Speaker 1: get it, and then taking action. So that looks like
Speaker 1: is identifying what you want.
Speaker 4: So for me, this is.
Speaker 1: I want to write a new book, and I want
Speaker 1: a new publisher, and I have this idea for the
Speaker 1: book that I want, And so what I do is
Speaker 1: I go in and I start to understand very specifically
Speaker 1: what I want the book to be, what I would
Speaker 1: like the book, what I'd like to sell the book
Speaker 1: to them, what i'd like for the purchase price, and
Speaker 1: then how I wanted to affect people. And so I
Speaker 1: started to tell myself, I'm an author for the publisher
Speaker 1: that I want, So I'm a best selling author for
Speaker 1: the publisher that I want, that's really affecting and contributing
Speaker 1: to the world in a great way. And then I
Speaker 1: start to feel that how does that feel.
Speaker 4: If that's true?
Speaker 1: Is there any resistance, and then I go, okay, what's
Speaker 1: the resistance? And so then I will go into self hypnosis,
Speaker 1: which is much like meditation but allows you to go
Speaker 1: deeper and then direct it.
Speaker 4: I can show you how to do that.
Speaker 1: And then from there, I say, what is the action
Speaker 1: if I am this person?
Speaker 4: What is the action that I need to take?
Speaker 1: One is find an agent, find to write a proposal,
Speaker 1: pitch it, figure out what I want to say and
Speaker 1: help hypnosis we can get into really easily because there's
Speaker 1: always a listener in your mind and the person listening right.
Speaker 2: Is a practice that we could go through. Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So when you close your eyes and I
Speaker 1: just want you to observe your thoughts, and so as
Speaker 1: you observe your thoughts, I want you to now tell
Speaker 1: your thoughts something and just tell just either tell it
Speaker 1: to stop thinking something or start thinking something. I just say,
Speaker 1: start thinking about erbology. And now can you hear the
Speaker 1: one that says, stop thinking about our apology? And then
Speaker 1: you recognize the one that's listening. Okay, And so now
Speaker 1: the one that talks that says start thinking about erbology,
Speaker 1: you just tell it to repeat after me.
Speaker 4: And so.
Speaker 1: Tell that voice to tell the one that's listening that
Speaker 1: it can imagine its body getting very heavy. You can
Speaker 1: imagine your body getting very heavy. And then with each breath,
Speaker 1: you can imagine your shoulders relaxing. And you just repeat
Speaker 1: these things from the one that talks to the one
Speaker 1: that listens, and then you say, you can imagine and
Speaker 1: actually notice that your lower back has pressure against the
Speaker 1: cherryer on good And then tell it that with each
Speaker 1: breath that take, that you just relax a little bit
Speaker 1: more as your brain sinks down, and it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if your mind wanders. And then with each breath you
Speaker 1: can tell it that it will relax more. Then give
Speaker 1: it a visualization. Say you're walking down a hallway. At
Speaker 1: the end of the hallway there's a flight of stairs,
Speaker 1: and you take steps down those stairs and it's only
Speaker 1: eight of them, and at the end of eight steps
Speaker 1: and be in a deep, relaxed state where you can
Speaker 1: start to tell yourself and recognize who you are. And
Speaker 1: then you count down eight deeper and deeper, seven, six,
Speaker 1: repeating after me to the one that's listening five, four, three,
Speaker 1: two one deep relaxation, and you say, here, down here,
Speaker 1: we can create whatever we want.
Speaker 4: I am a scholar. I am a learner.
Speaker 1: I am good enough as I am and still can
Speaker 1: achieve more. I am capable and worthy. I will learn
Speaker 1: more because it is my path. I will take the
Speaker 1: steps because it feels good when I accomplish it and
Speaker 1: feel your body expand in the energy. Now visualize the
Speaker 1: achieving a different degree and making some content around it
Speaker 1: that people are going to benefit from. Now, with the
Speaker 1: mind that speaks, you just start to direct yourself to
Speaker 1: come back, and when you do come back that you'll
Speaker 1: feel relaxed and positive, that you'll feel ready to take action.
Speaker 1: And then you comp back up one, two, three, four, five,
Speaker 1: eyes wide open and awake, and you're back.
Speaker 3: I really could see when you were saying walk down,
Speaker 3: and I could visualize the steps down. It's amazing how
Speaker 3: much you can actually visualize in your mind. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: I could physically see. I saw all the walls, I
Speaker 3: saw the path, I saw the going down the stairs.
Speaker 3: Down the stairs was a bit scary and dark.
Speaker 4: First, Oh sorry, sorry.
Speaker 1: Usually I'd say, you know, it's a very well lit,
Speaker 1: well led, beautiful staircas most beautiful stircus you've ever seen.
Speaker 3: No, But then when you started telling me like you're
Speaker 3: a scholar and I was like, oh, now it feels
Speaker 3: lighter and brighter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. That's such a beautiful thing and people
Speaker 2: can do that themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just have to identify the like as we start.
Speaker 1: We listen to our thoughts all the time, and so
Speaker 1: you can actually direct that voice to direct your listener
Speaker 1: from your So it's basically your higher self and your
Speaker 1: lower self. From your higher self, you can put your
Speaker 1: lower self into a trance and then tell it whatever
Speaker 1: you want.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: So hypnosis is a little bit more in depth because.
Speaker 4: I guide you.
Speaker 1: But with that specifically, people can practice self hypnosis and
Speaker 1: make dramatic changes in their lives at any time.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to definitely do that.
Speaker 3: That felt really Yeah, it felt like I was speaking
Speaker 3: to myself in myself.
Speaker 2: It was a very interesting feeling. Yeah, what is NLP, by.
Speaker 4: The way, lingoistic programming.
Speaker 2: And how is that different to hypnosis?
Speaker 1: So hypnosis you close your eyes, you go deep within,
Speaker 1: and some people I categorize neural linguistic programming is almost
Speaker 1: conversational hypnosis. So we start to talk and it's questions,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of it is embedded, okay, and so
Speaker 1: it's questions that embedded. For example, you have trouble receiving compliments,
Speaker 1: or maybe it's on your problematas now but whatever. But
Speaker 1: if I was to just try to get that expression
Speaker 1: across to you, I would ask questions instead, like I
Speaker 1: wonder if you really know if and then you want
Speaker 1: your subconscious mind, which deals in questions. It's all it's
Speaker 1: doing is really answering questions, right, so that it can
Speaker 1: process and direct which belief to use, would have to
Speaker 1: look for the solution of that question. So if I
Speaker 1: asked you a question based in the positive, it would
Speaker 1: have to find the positive solution to it.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: If I said I wonder if you know how accomplished
Speaker 1: you are, you'd start to say, how do I know
Speaker 1: if I'm accomplished, and your subconscious mind would be like, well,
Speaker 1: I do have all those degrees. I guess I am accomplished, right,
Speaker 1: And then neuro linguistic programming also allows you to change
Speaker 1: your emotional energy to a future state that you want.
Speaker 1: So when I said to you before, how would it
Speaker 1: feel if this issue is no longer an issue? And
Speaker 1: you said that feels really good, and then you went
Speaker 1: directly back, but yeah, and so what we would do,
Speaker 1: is we would remove that butt so you don't go back,
Speaker 1: but you felt for a second that excitement around that potential.
Speaker 1: And when we cultivate that so that neural linguistic programming
Speaker 1: allows us to do that without without all the resistance
Speaker 1: of the mind. Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, questioning and inquisitive. It is being asking questions over
Speaker 3: and over again.
Speaker 1: Facing embedding and when and when you do that, when
Speaker 1: you get someone gets really good at it, then it's
Speaker 1: such dramatic results.
Speaker 3: And I wonder, you know, with all these therapies and
Speaker 3: the idea of self sabotage, I think you know, do
Speaker 3: you think that a lot of self sabotage is linked
Speaker 3: to fear or do you think that it You know,
Speaker 3: what's the programming that people can do to take themselves
Speaker 3: away from these self sabotaging behaviors that they actually end
Speaker 3: up physically manifesting to stop themselves from getting what they
Speaker 3: want in their life, whether it's in relationships, whether it's
Speaker 3: in the work that they do. How do they become
Speaker 3: aware of that being actually self sabotage not protection.
Speaker 1: That's that's an awesome question. With self sabotage, there's always
Speaker 1: a secondary gain, right, So we have to find out what.
Speaker 4: The gain is. Right.
Speaker 1: The reason why I'm sabotaging is one hundred percent of
Speaker 1: our subconscious mind wants to protect and serve, so all
Speaker 1: it's doing is protecting us from some perceived danger, and
Speaker 1: it does that by fear or self sabotage. So what's
Speaker 1: the secondary gain? If I'm self sabotaging myself every time
Speaker 1: I fall in love in that relationship, then the secondary
Speaker 1: gain could be that I get to stay alone and
Speaker 1: that is perceived as safe, right, right, So if I
Speaker 1: want to change, that goes back to the homeostasis. I
Speaker 1: get to raise my level of safety and worthiness so
Speaker 1: that when I get to someone who meets and sees
Speaker 1: me right, I can be comfortable and allow that.
Speaker 3: Yes, we talked, touched on relationships, and one thing I
Speaker 3: wanted to ask you about was, you know, I think
Speaker 3: a lot of women. I don't know whether men do
Speaker 3: this too, but a lot of my friends fall in
Speaker 3: love with this idea of someone versus the reality of
Speaker 3: who they are, and they can really convince themselves that
Speaker 3: this person is this ideological version of who this who
Speaker 3: they want them to be, versus the reality of who
Speaker 3: they are. What's a piece of advice that you would
Speaker 3: give to women who fall in love with the idea
Speaker 3: of someone and ignore a lot of the kind of
Speaker 3: red flags or the potential, the potential, yes, the potential
Speaker 3: of someone.
Speaker 1: Fantasy of someone when they actually when I change them
Speaker 1: and they cherish me, I would say, mindfulness is the
Speaker 1: antidote to them, say, really present and kind of what's
Speaker 1: happening now, I really see and recognize someone's actions. Yes,
Speaker 1: most of the time, we're always trying to manifest, right,
Speaker 1: So we're constantly looking for the future and trying to
Speaker 1: identify who we need to become and what we need. Yes,
Speaker 1: But in relationship, especially love dating relationships, it's so easy
Speaker 1: to fall in love with the idea of someone, and
Speaker 1: I would really you know, there's a real balance between
Speaker 1: doing that because of course you want to plan for
Speaker 1: the future. Of course you want to be with a
Speaker 1: partner where you both become better, But you have to
Speaker 1: stay very mindful to the present because that is the
Speaker 1: reality that's happening now.
Speaker 2: Yes, I guess, and this is another way of observing.
Speaker 2: You have to be observant. You have to.
Speaker 3: Constantly be paying attention to really notice what's truly happening
Speaker 3: around you rather than your mind taking you away to places. Yeah,
Speaker 3: have you ever tried to manifest something really deeply in
Speaker 3: your life You've really wanted something did not happen, And
Speaker 3: what has that taught you about manifestation and also just life,
Speaker 3: because I think people get really you know, you believe
Speaker 3: that this manifestation is going to happen and it's going
Speaker 3: to be amazing in my life, and I'm doing everything,
Speaker 3: but it doesn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah a lot of times.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, And we have to kind of give it
Speaker 1: up to the attachment that it's gonna if it's meant
Speaker 1: for us, so it will be for us, and that
Speaker 1: when we become attached to it has to happen this
Speaker 1: way and if not, it failed.
Speaker 4: But there's a lot of things that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going to do it, I'm going to
Speaker 1: do it, I feel it, I'm seeing it, I'm doing it,
Speaker 1: and it hasn't And then I see, well, what was
Speaker 1: the benefit of that? There's always a benefit of that.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's a redirection. Maybe that manifestation infestation didn't happen
Speaker 1: because we needed to be redirected in a way, or
Speaker 1: maybe the timing wasn't right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, whatever it was.
Speaker 3: So there's a thin line between manifestation being a place
Speaker 3: doing it from a place of control and doing it
Speaker 3: from a place of trying to create in your life,
Speaker 3: I guess, because you could always try and create and
Speaker 3: and the creation becomes a point of control. But I
Speaker 3: guess there's a balance between, like a beautiful dance between
Speaker 3: manifesting but also surrendering and.
Speaker 1: Surrendering non attachment. I have a friend that she said,
Speaker 1: I wanted to write a New York Times bestseller, and
Speaker 1: she wrote a book. It didn't become a New York
Speaker 1: Times bestseller, and she said, but the New York Times
Speaker 1: called me and they had me come into their offices.
Speaker 1: And what I did is I brought them through a
Speaker 1: workshop all about my book. So did I manifest a
Speaker 1: New York Times bestseller or not?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 4: So I thought that was amazing. Yeah, the way it shows.
Speaker 3: Up exactly, Well, thank you so much. I feel like
Speaker 3: you've answered so many beautiful questions, and I think it's
Speaker 3: going to be so useful for this community because they
Speaker 3: always sending me messages about things like this, So I
Speaker 3: feel like I've got the perfect person on for it.
Speaker 2: But thank you so much. And I deeply appreciate you
Speaker 2: being here.
Speaker 1: This is best conversation.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you,