1 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's challenging chicken soup to become 2 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: the new health food to fight sickness, introducing cough Drop Pizza, 3 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:21,319 Speaker 1: Finally bringing together Menthol and marinera stuff your snotty face 4 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: with a warm, healing slice of Laser Stories, the segment 5 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: where we read weird news stories around the globe, just 6 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 1: like everyone else does, except we've got a laser and 7 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: those other sneeze pizzas just don't. This first lazer story 8 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: is out of Nevada. Recently, a forty eight year old 9 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: man named Rupert both Skater was seen chug in a 10 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: bottle of Tabasco sauce in public, then challenging random people 11 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: to fight him in the parking lot of a sporting 12 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: goods store. I didn't know that you could get drunk 13 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: on Tabasco sauce. Okay, midlife crisises look different to everybody. 14 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: Then this happened last Monday. It's unclear what Rupert's deal was, 15 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 1: but he was also shirtless. Well, I mean, you're pretty 16 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: spicy at that point, so you might as well take 17 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 1: your shirt out so you could imagine. The calls came 18 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: in from various people in the area and When the 19 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: police showed up, he called them some quote choice words, 20 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: Oh come on, and Rupert also threatened them with a 21 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: hunting knife and nobody got tamped it to be nice 22 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: to the cops. Okay, yeah, don't want you go. Probably, 23 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: I'm sure that's what it is. After you're chugging and 24 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: tabasco sauce. Well, here's the good news. No one was injured. Okay, 25 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: But after the cops declined a tobacco chug contest with him, 26 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: Rupert was arrested after a brief tasting. Oh dang, I 27 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 1: feel a feeling. Rupert liked it. Maybe that's what his 28 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 1: whole point was. Yeah, he's challenging himself that day. He 29 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 1: was then charged with assaults with the deadly weapon and 30 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: possession of drug paraphernalia. Shocker on that one. As for 31 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: the bottle of hot sauce, it was dispoke stuff. Okay. 32 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: I just am imagining him in jail then suddenly having 33 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: to finally use the bathroom. Oh, it's not gonna be good. 34 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: You want to follow him, that's an emergency. This next 35 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 1: laser stories out of Saint Petersburg, Florida, had some nice 36 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: weather this past weekend, but a few people did get rain. 37 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: And I say that because a thirty year old advertising 38 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: exec from New York got drunk on a rooftop bar 39 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: and peede off the side of it. Oh my god, no, 40 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: what I thought. There's really a tropical rain that happens 41 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: in Florida. Everyone knows you only pee on the first 42 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: floor on a tree trunk. That's it. The guy's name 43 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: is Matthew Day, and it's not clear if he was 44 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: in town for work or for pleasure, but he was 45 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,959 Speaker 1: obviously partying. And according to the police report, he was 46 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: at a rooftop bar called The Landing around one thirty 47 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: am when he whipped it out, pete off the side 48 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:57,679 Speaker 1: and hit several people on the sidewalk below. Oh no, no, no, no, 49 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: Henry Rupert would be good friends, dude. And how long 50 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 1: does it take you on the sidewalk to figure out 51 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: what's going on? Yeah? Well, the thing is rooftop bar. 52 00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: Makes it sound like it's really high up, but the 53 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: building's only two stories, so he was around fifteen feet 54 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: above the people that he was urinating off. Yeah, you 55 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: could definitely see what was happening down there. So security 56 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: spotted him relieving himself and then when cop showed up, 57 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: they noticed he had an indication of alcohol influence, that 58 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: he was at a rooftop bar, and they charged him 59 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: with disorderly conduct pedal. People's not like an assault charge. Well, 60 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: no word on if the p victims were treated at 61 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: the scene and then release. Okay, So, as I was 62 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: saying earlier, remember when Matthew was in town, the forecast 63 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 1: calls for a one hundred percent chance of showers and 64 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: unfortunately they're gonna be warm. What could I be a 65 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: little windy at that moment? Yeah, the way for me? Yeah? 66 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: Oh no. This next lazer stories out of Flinchburg, Massachusetts. 67 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: A sixty nine year old man named Paul Corcoran bought 68 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 1: a lottery ticket last week, and then on the morning 69 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: of the drawing, he thought he had missed it and 70 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: they'd already pulled the numbers, so he assumed he was 71 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 1: a loser. You are one pathetic loser. You went and 72 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: hit up another gas station about ten minutes away to 73 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: purchase a new ticket using the same exact numbers he'd 74 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: been playing for years. There's always these kind of people. Yeah, 75 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: I figured out. I always thought, Oh, I'd give me 76 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: a random number. It's gonna work. But it never does. 77 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: He's got a system in the good news. The drawing 78 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: hadn't happened yet that morning, and when it did, Paul 79 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: realized he hadn't won just one million dollars from a 80 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: single ticket, but a million bucks on two tickets, And 81 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: he told lottery officials the double wind feels good. Though 82 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 1: he doesn't have any plans for what he's gonna do 83 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: with his newfound money yet, how about you not have plans? Have? 84 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: You've been playing the same numbers for years and you've 85 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,919 Speaker 1: never thought about what's gonna happen if you win? Immediately? 86 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm buying a house. That's immediately what I'm saying, a 87 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: lot of options for him. Maybe a house, maybe a boat, 88 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 1: maybe the Clippers, maybe billion. Maybe he'll purchase ours. Show Ashton, 89 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: you've got a new daddy now. His name is Paul. 90 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: The odds of winning the jackpot were one in two 91 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: hundred and ninety two million. Good job to Paul for 92 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:41,039 Speaker 1: beating that Twiceay so cool. This next laser story is 93 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: out of camera corner. When you're at an event and 94 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,279 Speaker 1: the kiss cam launches on the JumboTron, are you filled 95 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:51,039 Speaker 1: with unbridled joy? Or are you running for covers, so 96 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: you're affair with your coworker won't be revealed to the world. 97 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: What is I'm running for cover? Does that CEO? Listen 98 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: to the show? Jack? Not anymore? And I say it 99 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,119 Speaker 1: because of the new Coldplay concert and it just won't 100 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: go away. And since then a poll was done. Update 101 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,120 Speaker 1: on the pole. Here's how people feel about kiss cams. 102 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: Eleven percent say they love them. I think they're kind 103 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,239 Speaker 1: of fun to watch, you know. I was like, Oh, 104 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: that's cute, because usually they do cute couples. I thought 105 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: them when they're real. I watch the little kids dance 106 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: when they put on the kid that's dancing up in 107 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 1: the three hundred, Okay that Simba camp too, when they 108 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 1: put the baby. Yeah, that's a little frightening. When they're 109 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: over the ledge though, Yeah, so broke it sounds you're 110 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: more into the twenty six percent who like them. Yeah, 111 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: I like it. You're not like, oh, this is the 112 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: best part of being at the game, engaging. It'd be 113 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 1: a little creepy if it was the only reason I 114 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: bought a ticket. Why we're here. Yeah, nineteen percent of 115 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: people dislike them, and nine percent absolutely hate them. Oh, 116 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,160 Speaker 1: come on, Meanwhile, another thirty five percent of people have 117 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: no opinion. I swear, why even give that option on 118 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 1: these damns? Just form one. Generally, men and women have 119 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,839 Speaker 1: similar feelings about kiss cams, but older folks are less 120 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: likely to say that they enjoy them. I agree. I 121 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 1: love when they show the grandma and grandpa and then 122 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: they kiss. I think that's really cute. Yeah. People were 123 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: also asked if they've ever recognized somebody who's been featured 124 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: on a kiss cam. Twelve percent say they have, including 125 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: three percent who have personally appeared on one. Speaking of 126 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: our little guy was spotted recently on the kisscam at 127 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: a minor league baseball game. Okay, but instead of making 128 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: out with another turtle, he was caught getting way too 129 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: handsy with someone's abandoned crop. Get a terrarium. Why don't shift? 130 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: And that sound means Laser Stories has come to an 131 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: end for the day. We'll do it again, same time 132 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: on Friday. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.