1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:06,400 Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Thursday, November thirteenth, and a 2 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 1: central question in the grand finale of The Golden Bachelor 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: last night was can you truly prove your commitment short 4 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: of an engagement? Well, we got the answer last night. 5 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: The thing is, I'm still not exactly sure what it 6 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,799 Speaker 1: is Robes And with that, welcome to this episode of 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: Amy and TJ. Right. That was central to it the 8 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:33,160 Speaker 1: grand finale. We know who Mel picked, but so much 9 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,200 Speaker 1: more time was spent on the woman he didn't pick 10 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: and why. 11 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 2: It was an interesting case in how we fall in love, 12 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 2: who we trust, and perhaps even how you handle putting 13 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 2: your heart out there at an older age versus a 14 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 2: younger age. You know, like, how willing are you to trust? 15 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 2: What does time mean to you when you're in your sixties. 16 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 2: It's very different than when you're in your twenties or 17 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 2: thirties or even forties. 18 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,040 Speaker 1: This was a rope. This is a great, great, great show. 19 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: I didn't think that the whole season, but when it 20 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: all comes together with these relationship themes, and I love 21 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 1: the idea of throwing people in their older ages second chance. 22 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: What's on the line? Risk you take everything you just 23 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 1: hit on played out last night. If you haven't been 24 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: watching over the season, what was a good chance A 25 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,560 Speaker 1: lot of you have not, because this has been a 26 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: really low rated season. And I think I've seen just 27 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: about everybody places the blame in one place for why 28 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: it's been a lowly rated season. 29 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,279 Speaker 2: Yes, everyone is blaming mel Owens because he's such a good, 30 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 2: nice guy. He's not controversial, he's not over the top. 31 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 2: He's not saying outlandish things or rude things, or even 32 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:49,639 Speaker 2: super loving things. He's playing it straight forward. He's being 33 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 2: true to himself. He's a Michigander, my god, through and through. 34 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 2: I know them well. I come from a long line 35 00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 2: of them. And that maybe didn't make for exciting, explosive television. 36 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 2: I used to seeing. 37 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: Boring, Yes, boring period. Now you I love that. You 38 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: were so delicate now you put that. 39 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 2: But sometimes life is boring, you know what I mean, 40 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:14,920 Speaker 2: Like I think, but not on television. You don't want 41 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 2: to watch it bad it. 42 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: Is, thank you, And I think most people tell you 43 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: life is pretty exciting. Oh, in one way or another. 44 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's bad. But this was a case this guy, 45 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: and I think, how good and everything you talk about 46 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: Michigander came through even more so in these final episodes 47 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: because he did something that a lot of women wish 48 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 1: that guys would do. He was honest, yeah, and she 49 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: didn't like the answer. Yeah. 50 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 2: You know, he reminds me a lot of my dad, 51 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 2: maybe that I'm I feel like I know him because 52 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 2: he is that that guy that every girl wants, and 53 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 2: yet you can't make him or force him to feel, 54 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 2: or do or say what you want them to. And 55 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 2: I think that is what we saw from one of 56 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 2: the final to Women six, Cindy. She's sixty years old 57 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 2: and she wanted him to she said, not be able 58 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 2: to live without her. And I remember I looked at 59 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 2: you when she said that I want somebody who can't 60 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 2: live without me, and I thought that was interesting. That 61 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 2: sounds like something someone would say in their twenties, and 62 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,679 Speaker 2: even now, as a woman in her fifties, I can 63 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 2: honestly say to you, I want you to be able 64 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 2: to live without me. I want you to choose me. 65 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 2: I want you to want to spend your life with me. 66 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 2: But I don't need you to want to live to 67 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 2: not be able to live without me. That seems far fetched. 68 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: That's year's life learning experience. Yes, but in defense of women. 69 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: And we've heard some things she said, and there was 70 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: a live audience. They were women were applauding. 71 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 2: She got standing ovations multiple times. 72 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: Some of the things she was saying, you find, and 73 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: I find other people would say that is unhealthy. You 74 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: shouldn't need anybody for your happiness. You should need to 75 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 1: provide it to anybody else. And she at times, and 76 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: some of the things she was saying include that one 77 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: in particular makes you sit up and stop. And I 78 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: said to you, that is the thing that's probably that 79 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: scares the hell out of guys. 80 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 2: And it scares the hell out of me. Having look, 81 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 2: we've lived enough life. But I've talked about this before. 82 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,040 Speaker 2: It's this fairy tale that a lot of us women 83 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 2: are sold. From the moment we can consume any kind 84 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 2: of media, we're told our Prince Charming is out there. 85 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 2: And yes, the narratives are starting to shift with Disney movies, 86 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 2: et cetera. But it also feels very forced, like, oh, yeah, 87 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 2: my true love is my sister or my true love 88 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 2: is myself. Okay, I get that, but the reality is 89 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 2: most of us are told that our prince is waiting 90 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 2: for us, and He's gonna save us from all of 91 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 2: our problems, and it seemed like Cindy was suffering from 92 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 2: that and then being applauded by and supported by other 93 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 2: women who also believe in that. She made a lot 94 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 2: of lines that contribute to that narrative. I don't need 95 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 2: I don't need to convince a man to love me. 96 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 2: I'm not interested in being put on hold. She was 97 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,840 Speaker 2: so invested in the outcome, and I get that that 98 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 2: she missed the journey. Dare I say the journey, But 99 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 2: that's a word used a lot on these shows, and 100 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 2: on this one in particular. But she wasn't interested in 101 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 2: the process or in the development. She wanted the happy 102 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 2: ending immediately. 103 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 1: Okay, So I have to at least in her defense 104 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 1: or excuse me, at least a part of the conversation, 105 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: and it was a part of the finale as well, 106 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: was about the outcome. Where you come onto the show, 107 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: she kept arguing understanding what the outcome is supposed to be. 108 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: She made the argument that all twenty three of these 109 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: women that came here, mel you left them with the 110 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: impression just by coming on the show that there was 111 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: an engagement at the end, and. 112 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 2: You know, what And I think, yes, that has been 113 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 2: the case in some of the circumstances, and a lot 114 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 2: of the audience is hoping and waiting for that. But 115 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 2: he was there to find someone. He was there to 116 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 2: find a partner. And I believe that he just said 117 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 2: I can't tell you that I'm here to propose, and 118 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 2: that offended her argument. 119 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: Yes, but should he have understood that these twenty three 120 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 1: women expect that and he needs to deliver it, because 121 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,679 Speaker 1: that was the impression she gave, or at least the argument, 122 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: like you brought us here, she had one point set 123 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: that like all of us here, she did, I have 124 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: an expectation of an engagement at the end. The woman 125 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,600 Speaker 1: he picked sure didn't. But ultimately, but this woman did. 126 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: Is that a fair argument that mel It wasn't okay 127 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 1: for you to tell me that maybe there's not an engagement. 128 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 2: I think it's totally fair. I mean, come on, she's 129 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 2: not a show, yes, but this is still life. We're 130 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 2: talking about real life. This might be a TV show, 131 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 2: but life continues after the show. And I thought he 132 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 2: was actually really smart. It wasn't as if he just said, oh, 133 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,160 Speaker 2: I'm not going to end up with anybody I'm doing this. 134 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 2: Do you really think that mel was doing it for 135 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,159 Speaker 2: publicity or doing it to make a name for himself 136 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 2: or to get some extra cash on the side. I 137 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 2: do believe he was there to find a partner, and 138 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 2: I actually think it's more valuable and more genuine for 139 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: him to say, uh that he was looking for a 140 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 2: partner and that could lead to an engagement and a wife. 141 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 2: But it didn't necessarily mean it had to happen in 142 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 2: that moment, on that day. 143 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: The other issue with it possibly uh In. I don't 144 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: know whose favorites this is in, but the timing we 145 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: taught timing two things having to do with age and 146 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: having to do with how much time they got to 147 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: spend together on this show, it is unreasonable to start 148 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: dating somebody and to think in four months you need 149 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: to propose in real life that's on that's unreasonable now. 150 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 2: And yes, and if that person is dating twenty three 151 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 2: other people in the beginning of it, that also waters 152 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 2: down the time you have to get to know someone. 153 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: But again that worked against them. But is that the 154 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: absurdity of possibly a show like this maybe should take 155 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 1: that out of hell. Even Jesse was a former bachelor, 156 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: he didn't propose what it means to me? The first 157 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: one that yes, okay, so it happens, but I have 158 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: never seen I haven't watched the show enough. Like someone's 159 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 1: so upset that you, while you're still considering another woman, 160 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: won't sit here and tell me that you are going 161 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: to be willing to get engaged to me, is her argument. Look, 162 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: if that's where she is, we have to respect it. 163 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 1: I just I can't fault Mel for being practical. 164 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 2: Neither can I. And look, Cindy seems I mean, she's 165 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 2: obviously an very intelligent woman. She's a mother of three, 166 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 2: She's gone through a lot, she's a biomedical she was 167 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 2: a biomedical engineer. Yes, but what I thought was sad 168 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 2: on her end. And look, look I get it. These 169 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 2: are real feelings, and I think that is what this show, 170 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 2: in this episode certainly proved this season. She was hurt, 171 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 2: she wanted him to be all about her, and I 172 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 2: do think that was unreasonable going for her. She pointed 173 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 2: that Mel was unreasonable for maybe not automatically saying I'm 174 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 2: going to propose to someone at the end, I think 175 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 2: she was unreasonable to believe that she should have been 176 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 2: held up on a pedestal higher than all the other women. 177 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,679 Speaker 2: She wanted to have the lightning bolt. She wanted to 178 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 2: have him say I'll do anything, You're the one, and 179 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 2: that's not what the show's about. And even if he 180 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 2: did feel that way, the show would never want him 181 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 2: to say that while there are still two people in Antigua, 182 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 2: where there are still two women, and she wanted confirmation, 183 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 2: she wanted validation, and he couldn't give it to her, 184 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 2: and so instead of and he pointed this out in 185 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 2: the live reunion, which was an awkward, awkward moment on 186 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,319 Speaker 2: the show, but he made a really good point, we 187 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,319 Speaker 2: never got to go to the fantasy suite. And she 188 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 2: kind of was like, well, you didn't earn the right to, 189 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 2: but he said, no, this wasn't about being intimate with you, 190 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 2: This wasn't about having sex. This was an opportunity to 191 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 2: talk without the microphone, without the cameras, and you denied 192 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 2: us that opportunity because on. 193 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: Camera you wouldn't do what I told you you needed 194 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 1: to do. Now I have seen you, we don't know 195 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: this show. She's been pleasant throughout Ashley from the very beginning. 196 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: I said, that's my girl. Yeah, I said, that's the 197 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 1: one he's going to end up with. You did think 198 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 1: that that's the one? So she all these are pleasant, 199 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: accomplished folks. It seems that she did. And he makes 200 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: the point, look, things work out, but she missed, and 201 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 1: he said, you didn't see the process through. We don't 202 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,079 Speaker 1: know what would have happened if we were in private 203 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,439 Speaker 1: and for the first time and all of the show 204 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 1: could sit and look at each other without anybody talking 205 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 1: to us or a camera in our face and nothing 206 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: going on. You know, but how are we supposed to 207 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: get married or engaged if you and I have only 208 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: spent a couple of dates together and then the one 209 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: chance we get to finally be alone, one on one 210 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: with nothing around you say? 211 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 2: Nah, And you know what, I'm not trying to blame 212 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 2: her at all, because this has got to be a 213 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 2: really tough position to be in. But don't you think 214 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 2: that's ego? She felt rejected. She didn't get the confirmation, 215 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 2: the affirmation, the validation that I understand she wanted, but 216 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 2: also she needed to understand the show she was on. 217 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,560 Speaker 2: And when he said we had to finish the journey, 218 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 2: but we never got there, there was another person and 219 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 2: she wasn't being I don't think she was giving him 220 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:22,680 Speaker 2: enough rope to be able to experience both and to 221 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 2: make a choice. He said, you wanted a proposal, and 222 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 2: you and because I wouldn't commit to doing that in 223 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,199 Speaker 2: that moment, you refuse to go to the fantasy suite. 224 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,559 Speaker 2: And again, it wasn't about sex, it was about conversation. 225 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 2: It was about being able to be private. And when 226 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 2: she you know what she said back to him, I 227 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 2: learned enough. That's ego because then she'll say, I still 228 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 2: I loved you. We could have been great, we could 229 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 2: have been amazing. We could have and she still believes that. 230 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 2: But she didn't give him the opportunity to have private 231 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,199 Speaker 2: conversation with her. 232 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: And we have to respect her for a decision, for 233 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:01,679 Speaker 1: what she did, decided to do, for why she did it, 234 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: and everything else. I was fully prepared in watching the 235 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: finale to be upset with something male did. I'm like, 236 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 1: wn he did this girl wrong? Or how it went 237 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 1: down when they let it all play out and you 238 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 1: hear it. 239 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:20,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, she needed something he couldn't give her. 240 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: Yes, And it seemed like we didn't. She didn't take 241 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:28,199 Speaker 1: into consideration the criteria, like the circumstances we're on the show. 242 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:32,560 Speaker 1: This is this is different. It's okay. It's possible she 243 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,439 Speaker 1: couldn't handle the idea of the next day that roe 244 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:39,319 Speaker 1: Ceram or whatever might have happened and gotten embarrassed. Who knows, 245 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,839 Speaker 1: or she just might know her heart. She knows herself 246 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: and that's a wrap. 247 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,320 Speaker 2: Yes, and there are and look, everyone has different needs. 248 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 2: She needs somebody to be all about her and that's fine. 249 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 2: I get that. That's wonderful and that's what she is 250 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 2: now going to have to go try and find. 251 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: But isn't that what any woman, and certainly the ones 252 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 1: in that room clapping and applauding these lines want you 253 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 1: want the guy? What was her line about lightning strike 254 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: or something? 255 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 2: She said? I got it exactly. 256 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 1: I want to feel like a guy got struck by 257 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: lightning and can't live without me. That's what's wrong with 258 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: wanting that. Nothing everybody's personal preference. It's not for me, 259 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: and I don't want to be with somebody who thinks that, 260 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,640 Speaker 1: but for others who want that, And you hit every 261 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: why not robes? Now you and I go back and 262 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: forth about this. Why shouldn't we hold onto the fantasy? 263 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 2: Why shouldn't we Because it's not reality, and it ends up. 264 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 2: If you have expectations that are that high, yes, no 265 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 2: relationship will ever meet those standards, and you will always 266 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 2: be disappointed. And I will say I young, as a 267 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 2: young woman, I did believe that, and now as a 268 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,600 Speaker 2: more mature, experienced woman, I now know. And this is 269 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 2: gonna sound so cheesy, Oh, push through it. You have 270 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 2: to be your biggest advocate and your own champion, and 271 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 2: you have to love yourself the most, and then there 272 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 2: is space to love someone else. And you don't have 273 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 2: to require some unfair amount of love that you need 274 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 2: someone to give you. In fact, you can and I'm 275 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 2: not saying to be treated badly, but when you place 276 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 2: all of your expectations of joy, happiness, love, contentment piece 277 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 2: on someone else, you are always going to be disappointed. 278 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: All right, we'll stay with us, folks. When we come back, 279 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: we'll get into who he actually picked and why we 280 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: think she might be the perfect pick for him. Also, 281 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: we'll get into the back and forth. Did we see 282 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: really a difference in personalities between mel and Cindy or 283 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 1: is this more of the same man versus woman? And 284 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: we'll give Robock to finally answer this question. Can you 285 00:14:54,960 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 1: prove a commitment short of an engagement ring. Hey that folks, 286 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,200 Speaker 1: I promise you, Robock. And I was still going at 287 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: it about this story during that short break there, yes 288 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: talking about mel Mel has picked his woman on The 289 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: Golden Bachelor last night, the big finale. He picked Peg, 290 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: the firefighter, former firefighter and bomb expert who from the 291 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: jump robes. I you know what, I said, Cindy, that's 292 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 1: the one for him. You liked Peg? I did, and 293 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: my response was he can't handle her. 294 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 2: But you know what, maybe that's exactly what he needs. 295 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 2: And I from the moment she walked onto this show, 296 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 2: there was an energy, there was a confidence. This is 297 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 2: a woman who's been through stuff just like all the 298 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 2: other women, but she has found a way to love herself. 299 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 2: She walks with confidence, she walks like a badass and 300 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 2: she embodies that. And yes, she wasn't the one saying 301 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 2: I love you, pick me. She said, I'm not sure 302 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 2: that I love you, but I like you. Let's see 303 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 2: where this goes. She had a spirit that was just 304 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 2: full of life and without expectations. And wow, I felt 305 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 2: like we could all seriously as women and we all 306 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 2: have our own moments, but I felt like, well, I 307 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 2: want to be like her. I want to be her, 308 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 2: I want. 309 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 1: To make I don't know how it's coming off, but 310 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: we sounded like we liked her. We didn't like her 311 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,520 Speaker 1: for this reason or that read the two every one 312 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 1: we said this from the very beginning. This was the 313 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: women were carrying this show. 314 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 2: They were awesome. 315 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: They were all awesome, all impressive. That was a seventy 316 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: seven year old woman that walked out there badass with 317 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: that dress on. Do you think girl? 318 00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 2: It's you know what? It was a reminder to me 319 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 2: as I'm getting older, like, look, we all want to 320 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 2: look younger and feel younger. That's a thing. I get it, 321 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 2: and you want to hold on to the beauty of 322 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 2: your youth. But the people and the women who I 323 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 2: fell in love with the most, it didn't matter what 324 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 2: they looked like. It didn't matter if they had hair 325 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 2: extensions or whatever work they had done. It was their spirit, 326 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 2: it was their energy, it was their confidence. It's just 327 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 2: a reminder that is the beauty of us getting older, 328 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 2: what we can bring with us, and it's less about 329 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 2: looks and more about who you are. I really saw 330 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 2: that play out watching this show, and that's why I really. 331 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,840 Speaker 1: Do think there's such value in these shows, more so 332 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,640 Speaker 1: than I mean, some of the stuff is just entertaining. 333 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,359 Speaker 1: When you talk about love islands, all of them broke up, 334 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: sure that afternoon, but. 335 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 2: You still learn about dynamics, ego and relationships. 336 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,160 Speaker 1: So it's all the same and it plays out here, 337 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: and I love that it played out with that extra 338 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:42,120 Speaker 1: element of age. What do you do? Do you have 339 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,000 Speaker 1: time to feel it out, to figure it out, to 340 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,400 Speaker 1: make sure this is going to work? Or do we 341 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 1: do as Cindy said, you gotta jump in? What leap 342 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:50,879 Speaker 1: of faith? 343 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 2: Yes, leap of faith? 344 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 1: He wasn't willing to do that, and she thought we 345 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 1: should just take a lip of faith and get engaged. Okay, 346 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,200 Speaker 1: but where do you fall on that. You're twenty five, 347 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 1: you're in a relationship for five years, don't go well, 348 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,160 Speaker 1: thirty still hot, gon't be okay? But when you're sixty, 349 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 1: sixty two, sixty five, like, wow, I need you to 350 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:16,439 Speaker 1: commit and tell me right now after four months? I 351 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: think that's real, is it not? I mean, this is 352 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 1: a smaller timeframe, but in the real world, don't you 353 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 1: hold on thought? Do we know a lot of couples 354 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,080 Speaker 1: older couples like e hain't let me stick with this 355 00:18:27,359 --> 00:18:30,159 Speaker 1: asshole here because I can't. Ain't nobody else out there 356 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:30,640 Speaker 1: for right? 357 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 2: Yes, without a doubt, that is that. That is absolutely 358 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 2: a huge factor in people getting together and staying together, 359 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 2: maybe when if they just gave it a beat, they wouldn't. 360 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,640 Speaker 2: And I do think there's nothing more lonely than being 361 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 2: in a bad relationship. I'd rather be alone. 362 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: You say that, I think some people would definitely disagree 363 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: with you. I would rather have something. Somebody not being 364 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,680 Speaker 1: alone is debilitated. 365 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 2: That's scary as hell to me. I'm not going to 366 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 2: pretend that I do not fear that. Absolutely. I think 367 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 2: that is a fear within us all on some level. 368 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, do you have that fear. I 369 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 2: don't think I'm. 370 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: Afraid people will be around all the time exactly. You 371 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,879 Speaker 1: are an anomaly, but relationship wise, nobody wants you want somebody. 372 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,040 Speaker 2: Yes, I hate eating alone. I've never been to a 373 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 2: movie alone. So yes, I fully understand that. I also 374 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,680 Speaker 2: know how lonely it is to be in a relationship 375 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 2: that you don't want to be in. 376 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 1: Well, this last thing here I mentioned here man versus 377 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: woman or was this male versus Cindy personality wise, he's 378 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: they used it. I think he was the one that 379 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: said it a matter of like, you're no. She might 380 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,360 Speaker 1: have said it, You're practical. You're being practical about these 381 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:51,000 Speaker 1: things and I'm making a more emotional decision. You and 382 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 1: I talk about this in everything we do every day. 383 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:58,399 Speaker 1: This comes up practical versus emotional. Practical versus emotional is 384 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 1: I didn't see as soon as as they say that, 385 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: I said, oh, sweetheart, I'm ready to go. This is 386 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 1: early in the show, which was an hour and a half, Yes, 387 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,879 Speaker 1: like twenty minutes in, I said, I'm done. We can 388 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: do the podcast. I got all I need. That jumped 389 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: out at me because that is something that plays out 390 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: all the time in relationship. It does. 391 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 2: And even his best friend Diane. This is Mel's best friend, Diane, 392 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 2: who met PEG. After she met her, she went to Mel. 393 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 2: She's a lawyer. Mel's a lawyer. I didn't realize this, 394 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 2: so they're very analytical, and she said, don't let your 395 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 2: brain get in the way of your heart. She told 396 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,919 Speaker 2: him that that was her advice to him. And I 397 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 2: do think that, yes, if you really think about how 398 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 2: risky it is to get into a relationship with somebody, 399 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:46,200 Speaker 2: how risky it is to propose or get married to somebody. 400 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:51,200 Speaker 2: You're right, it is, so you do kind of at 401 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 2: some point have to just follow your heart. If you 402 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 2: let your brain do all the work, you'll never you'll 403 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 2: never commit to anyone because you're right, you might get hurt, 404 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 2: your ego might be shattered, and that is always on 405 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 2: the line. Always. You don't ever truly know someone, And 406 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 2: certainly when you've been doing it on television, what is 407 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 2: that trust level? Like, it's hard enough in the real world, 408 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 2: let alone when someone might be just doing something for 409 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:21,400 Speaker 2: the camera. 410 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 1: And these people don't know each other, it's impossible to 411 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: know each other. After a few months, you can try 412 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 1: your best, but it takes so much. 413 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 2: I love what Peg and Mel said to each other 414 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 2: in the live when they were reunited, And I have 415 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 2: to tell you, I don't think I'm being hoodwinked here. 416 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 2: They looked absolutely magical together, like happy, and it all 417 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 2: worked out the way it was supposed to. But she 418 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 2: had zero expectations, and I thought that was so cool 419 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,920 Speaker 2: because that just allowed for the relationship to develop as 420 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,919 Speaker 2: it should in whatever way it was going to. And 421 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 2: he told her this. I trusted you, and you trusted me. 422 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 2: You told me that you knew I would make the 423 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 2: right decision. How cool is that? I mean, that takes 424 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,040 Speaker 2: a lot of confidence. She knew there was another woman, 425 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 2: and she still was able to say that, like she 426 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,880 Speaker 2: knew she was gonna be okay either way. Put your 427 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 2: heart out there to an extent, but just let it 428 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 2: be and don't force it. You can't force someone. If 429 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 2: you try to force someone to pros to you, I 430 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 2: don't think it's ever gonna work. 431 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,199 Speaker 1: She understood the show, she understood the assignment, and she 432 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,359 Speaker 1: understands herself better than anybody. She is going to be okay, 433 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,440 Speaker 1: you pick me or you don't. I have no control 434 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 1: over that. I am just PEG. Go back and watch 435 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: the season and watch PEG from episode one to the finale, 436 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: and you'll see a different type of person whose joy 437 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 1: came from somewhere within that had nothing to do with 438 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 1: everything going around and when you let. 439 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,399 Speaker 2: Go cause look and again, I thought that Cindy was 440 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,959 Speaker 2: a beautiful, wonderful person. 441 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:55,360 Speaker 1: He's my favorite. 442 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,879 Speaker 2: But I have to say when it's such a lesson, 443 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 2: if you can just let go of trying to control everything, 444 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 2: if you can. It's so hard to do and trust. 445 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 2: As Gabby Bernstein says, the universe has your back. Things 446 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,920 Speaker 2: start to fall into place when you try to control things, 447 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 2: and she, by leaving controlled the outcome. 448 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,760 Speaker 1: Not to control an outcome the other person didn't, and 449 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,119 Speaker 1: look at where it ended up. The last thing I 450 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: wanted to make sure, I asked here, I want if 451 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: people can hear that boat out. 452 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 2: Back going by the very loud voat Yeah. 453 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: Sorry, we were recording here in our studio at home, 454 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,560 Speaker 1: and there's a river right outside of the window, and 455 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 1: apparently the biggest boat ever is going by right now. 456 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 1: But the last question I said, I don't want to 457 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: ask you, can you prove a commitment to a woman 458 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:42,719 Speaker 1: short of an engagement. 459 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 2: That's a really good question, and I think it depends 460 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 2: on the woman. I think yes, the answer is absolutely yes. 461 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 2: How by what you say, how you act, what you do. 462 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 2: I mean that a woman feels what what Cindy wasn't 463 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 2: getting from Mel And this is because of the cameras 464 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 2: in the show itself. Some reassurance, you need verbal reassurance, 465 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 2: you need physical reassurance, and I think you need consistency. 466 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 2: But yes, the trust at some point you do have 467 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,320 Speaker 2: to just put your trust in someone else. But I 468 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 2: do think it's by showing up every day. It's by consistency, 469 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 2: it's by being in that person's life every day. It's 470 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 2: about how you. 471 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 1: Act practical things because I hear what you're saying, and 472 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,360 Speaker 1: no one and I think include being you would accept 473 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:41,120 Speaker 1: those things. Right. Wow, shows up every day, He's very engaged, 474 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,879 Speaker 1: says he loves me, do all the right things. But 475 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 1: he still lives there. I still live here. We still 476 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 1: don't know this person in his life while you talk 477 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 1: about things. Somebody can give you every bit of love, 478 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: but there is something or some signal that still oftentimes 479 00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 1: people look for to think okay, not engage. No, he's 480 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 1: okay with me. 481 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 2: I have it for you. So I really do think 482 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 2: that I said this to you because we struggled with 483 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: this a little for a while. I mean, we were 484 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:13,480 Speaker 2: together for just about three years before you proposed. But 485 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 2: I will say this, I wanted an hour's. I didn't 486 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 2: want a mine and a yours. And for me, the 487 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:24,959 Speaker 2: commitment was having an hours and having our life together 488 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 2: and merging our lives together. I preferred to be married 489 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,719 Speaker 2: and to have an engagement. But if you didn't and 490 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 2: we had this conversation, I was okay with that, but 491 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,119 Speaker 2: I wanted us to live together. I wanted us to 492 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 2: be together. We didn't have to have the even though 493 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 2: I will fully say here, I prefer it, even though 494 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 2: we don't have to have the legal document that says X, 495 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,480 Speaker 2: Y and Z, and it's harder for you to leave 496 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,200 Speaker 2: because then you'd have to get a divorce. I don't 497 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,160 Speaker 2: want anyone to be with me who feels like they 498 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 2: have to for money or legal reasons. But I do 499 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,919 Speaker 2: think that making the commitment to merger lives together is 500 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 2: what it it that was what I needed. I can't 501 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 2: speak for all of them. 502 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: So you said merging lives. Can you merge lives short 503 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 1: of living together? 504 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 2: No, because you still have one foot out the door 505 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 2: for me. No. 506 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 1: When you break this down to what we're talking about now, 507 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 1: the only way you can show commitment live together. Give 508 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:21,920 Speaker 1: me a ring for me? 509 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 2: Yes. 510 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: What do you think it is for most women? 511 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 2: Yes? I think it's the same because because I feel 512 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 2: like if you're keeping your options open by keeping your 513 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,880 Speaker 2: own place, you've got one foot out the door. 514 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: You're not fully in. 515 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 2: You're not fully in. 516 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 1: Okay, folks, we might have to do a part too, 517 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: because you just said something, Now, how is a foot 518 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 1: out the door? 519 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,600 Speaker 2: You got one foot in one door and one foot 520 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,640 Speaker 2: in another door. It feels like that. 521 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,720 Speaker 1: Oh man, Okay, folks, we do encourage you. Go back. 522 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,919 Speaker 1: If you haven't seen, here we go again promoting an 523 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,639 Speaker 1: ABC show. But if you haven't seen Golden Bachelor, we 524 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 1: encourage it because we do believe it. There are great 525 00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 1: lessons in there for all of us. Whether it has 526 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: to do is relationships, how to treat others, how to 527 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 1: view others, what you should recognize in others, and frankly 528 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,120 Speaker 1: just being happy with yourself. And particularly take a look 529 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:15,120 Speaker 1: at Peg and Cindy from the very first to the end. 530 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 1: Now that you know the outcome, I like watching. 531 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 2: It is kind of cool once you already know. And 532 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 2: I and also just want to say this, I actually 533 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 2: loved the ending. It wasn't a proposal, it was a 534 00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 2: promise ring And then a few months later because they 535 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,119 Speaker 2: always have to keep it secret while they're putting the 536 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 2: show together and having an air but when we saw 537 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,719 Speaker 2: them together for the first time, when they announced, when 538 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 2: we all knew that they were together or an item, 539 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 2: he said, I'm in love with her, and then she said, 540 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 2: and I'm in love with him one hundred percent. And 541 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 2: I love what Jesse Palmer said at the end the 542 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 2: host it worked. He almost sounded surprise. 543 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 1: Jesse was shocked and Jesse, we're gonna call you too, man. 544 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 2: We have a We love Jesse, we love us, We 545 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:53,680 Speaker 2: miss Jesse. 546 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,400 Speaker 1: We miss Jesse. Well. Georgia game was the last time 547 00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,160 Speaker 1: we talked to him this season. But we yeah, we're 548 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 1: gonna We're gonna talk to Jesse about We take issue 549 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 1: with some of the tones. Sometimes during during the episodes, 550 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: we'll be hollering at you, Jesse, but folks, we always 551 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,280 Speaker 1: appreciate you listening to us. We do encourage you to 552 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: go back and watch it. But it's been It was fascinating. 553 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:16,679 Speaker 1: We might have to do a part two robes and 554 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,120 Speaker 1: you said something that fired me up, So all right, 555 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:19,919 Speaker 1: stay tuned.