WEBVTT - The Smile That Hides — Bonus | Jenifer's Story

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<v Speaker 1>Hi everyone, It's Andrea Gunning. I know it's been a while,

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<v Speaker 1>but today we are back with not just new bonus content,

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<v Speaker 1>but with two major updates. First, we'll be back with

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<v Speaker 1>season two of Betrayals starting May eighteenth, and we even

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<v Speaker 1>have a sneak peek at the end of this episode. Second,

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<v Speaker 1>Betrial Season one is being turned into a documentary. More

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<v Speaker 1>details on where and when it will launch, so stay

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<v Speaker 1>tuned on the feed for updates. In the meantime, check

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<v Speaker 1>out this bonus episode about an incredible organization.

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<v Speaker 2>Jen.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the best parts of doing the podcast is

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<v Speaker 1>learning about the resources didn't know about. And there's an

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<v Speaker 1>organization called SASCO that really intrigues me.

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<v Speaker 3>I had the opportunity a couple weekends ago to attend

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<v Speaker 3>and I Will Survive weekend, which was put on by

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<v Speaker 3>the SASCO organization out of South Carolina, and it was

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<v Speaker 3>a great weekend. One of the ways we spent our

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<v Speaker 3>time was learning self defense moves, specifically what were to

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<v Speaker 3>happen if someone were to assault you or to come

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<v Speaker 3>at you and attack you.

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<v Speaker 1>And you brought some of the ladies back from the weekend.

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<v Speaker 3>I wanted to bring back a little souvenir. So today,

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<v Speaker 3>Shannon Henry and Brett Carney Brown of the SaaS Organization

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<v Speaker 3>are here to talk to us about the five tactics

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<v Speaker 3>predators used to break down their targets.

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<v Speaker 1>Brett, can you share how SAS began?

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<v Speaker 4>It really started because we have been working with survivors

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<v Speaker 4>of violence for seventeen years in a number of different ways,

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<v Speaker 4>and we kept hearing the same three questions. One why

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<v Speaker 4>didn't I know that this could happen to me?

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<v Speaker 5>Two?

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<v Speaker 4>Why didn't I know what to do when it did?

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<v Speaker 4>And three why didn't I know.

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<v Speaker 5>Where to go for help?

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<v Speaker 4>And that really was the beginning of what ultimately became

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<v Speaker 4>the nonprofit because we wanted to make sure that everyone

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<v Speaker 4>had the answers to those questions before anything ever happened.

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<v Speaker 1>That makes total sense, Shannon, What was the idea that

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<v Speaker 1>empowered you to do this?

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<v Speaker 6>It wasn't until I took a self defense course that

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<v Speaker 6>I really felt like for the first time I could

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<v Speaker 6>trust my mind and my body to recognize danger and

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<v Speaker 6>hopefully end it before anything happened.

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<v Speaker 5>And it gave me the tools to do that.

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<v Speaker 6>So really that was the impetus for me, was that

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<v Speaker 6>empowerment it's the prevention which is super important. If we

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<v Speaker 6>can keep people from having to experience this, that's what

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<v Speaker 6>we want to do first and foremost. But it's also

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<v Speaker 6>making sure that systems and agencies and women and girls

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<v Speaker 6>and families know how to intervene when it does happen,

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<v Speaker 6>and then how to get the response the help that

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<v Speaker 6>they need in the aftermath.

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<v Speaker 3>Shannon, you have gone through your own personal experience with

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<v Speaker 3>sexual assault. Would you mind sharing that story with us?

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<v Speaker 6>Like any other teenage girl, I dated a guy, fell

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<v Speaker 6>in love. I thought he was wonderful. We dated for

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<v Speaker 6>about a year. He put me on a pedestal and

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<v Speaker 6>made me feel special. He was older than me, and

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<v Speaker 6>I always had this idea in the back of my

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<v Speaker 6>mind that I was lucky to be with him because

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<v Speaker 6>he was somebody that other people wanted to be with

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<v Speaker 6>as well, and he chose me. So one day after

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<v Speaker 6>school he asked me to come by and bring him

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<v Speaker 6>a mountain dew.

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<v Speaker 5>To his place.

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<v Speaker 6>I didn't want to go, and I knew I didn't

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<v Speaker 6>want to go, but I felt this disease to please,

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<v Speaker 6>and so I thought, Okay, I'll just go by, I'll

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<v Speaker 6>drop it off. I'm not going to tell my mom

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<v Speaker 6>where I'm going, because she'd kill me if she knew

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<v Speaker 6>I was going to his house by myself, but I did.

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<v Speaker 6>When I walked in, things were different than they normally

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<v Speaker 6>were there. It was loud and there were a few

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<v Speaker 6>other people there. I also noticed that he had alcohol

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<v Speaker 6>in his breath, and so I said, you know, here's

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<v Speaker 6>your drink. I've got to go, but i'll talk to

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<v Speaker 6>you later. And he said, well, just wait a second.

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<v Speaker 6>I want you to come back in my bedroom with

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<v Speaker 6>me for just a second. I want to show you something.

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<v Speaker 6>And I thought, oh, I don't want to go back

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<v Speaker 6>in his bedroom. But at the same time, it's my

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<v Speaker 6>boyfriend and I trust him and I love him, he

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<v Speaker 6>loves me.

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<v Speaker 5>We're fine.

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<v Speaker 6>So I walked back in his bedroom and he shut

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<v Speaker 6>the door, and I can still see him turning the

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<v Speaker 6>lock on it, and I remember looking at that and going,

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<v Speaker 6>why is he locking the door? And then that's when

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<v Speaker 6>he looked at me and he started to kiss me.

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<v Speaker 6>But it was a kiss that wasn't about me, and

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<v Speaker 6>it wasn't about us, it was about him, and I

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<v Speaker 6>didn't like it. I was very uncomfortable, and I pushed

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<v Speaker 6>away from him and I said, look, I've got to go,

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<v Speaker 6>and he grabbed my wrist and it hurt, and he said,

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<v Speaker 6>get on the bed or that's next, and beside the

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<v Speaker 6>bed was a hunting knife, and I remember thinking, there's

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<v Speaker 6>no way he's going to hurt me. But I was

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<v Speaker 6>scared enough to lay down on the bed and not

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<v Speaker 6>make a noise. And he did with me what I

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<v Speaker 6>didn't want to do. And then he stood me up

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<v Speaker 6>and he opened the door and kissed me on the

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<v Speaker 6>cheek and said, how fun at dance?

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<v Speaker 5>And I walked out. I remember just being totally in a.

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<v Speaker 6>Fog, and as I looked to my right, there were

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<v Speaker 6>three people that I knew well from high school, and

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<v Speaker 6>they all high fived each other as I walked out,

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<v Speaker 6>as if it had been planned before I got there.

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<v Speaker 6>And I got in my car, I went to dance.

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<v Speaker 6>I didn't say a word. I went home. I got

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<v Speaker 6>in the bed and I cried myself to sleep, and

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<v Speaker 6>I never talked about it again. In my mind, I

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<v Speaker 6>was already turning inward and blaming myself. I was in

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<v Speaker 6>dance clothes. I shouldn't have gone there. I knew better,

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<v Speaker 6>like what was I doing? And so that started a spiral.

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<v Speaker 6>I turned to drugs and alcohol and boys to self

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<v Speaker 6>medici because I was only sixteen. But eventually I got

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<v Speaker 6>the help that I needed and that was a turning

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<v Speaker 6>point for me. But it wasn't until I took that

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<v Speaker 6>self defense class that I really felt like I could

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<v Speaker 6>trust my mind and my body again and fight for

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<v Speaker 6>myself if I needed to. And I said, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>if you left your purse out and somebody stole your wallet,

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<v Speaker 6>it's not because you left your purse out, it's because

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<v Speaker 6>there was.

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<v Speaker 5>A thief in the room.

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<v Speaker 6>So nothing that I did that day should have resulted

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<v Speaker 6>in my rape, except that there was a rapist in

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<v Speaker 6>the room.

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<v Speaker 1>Jan thank you for sharing that. It was difficult to

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<v Speaker 1>hear as a fellow survivor.

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<v Speaker 3>To be honest, Dre, you've never brought this up before.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I don't really talk about it. I think

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<v Speaker 1>that the one thing that I'm just kind of reckoning

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<v Speaker 1>with is the fact that you can kind of define

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<v Speaker 1>look at this behavior after the fact, But these perpetrators

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<v Speaker 1>and these predators are so good that the red flags

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<v Speaker 1>are usually not even there. Like in my case, I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't picking up these character traits in the moment you

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<v Speaker 1>would never know this was your boyfriend, Shannon, this was

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<v Speaker 1>your husband that you knew from college.

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<v Speaker 3>Jen, Shannon, I think one of the words that can

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<v Speaker 3>describe my ex husband's behavior is predatory.

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<v Speaker 5>What are some of.

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<v Speaker 3>The tactics that these predators use?

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<v Speaker 6>Sencer was using what we call the top five predatory tactics.

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<v Speaker 6>The first one is what we call the smile that hides.

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<v Speaker 6>Body can come into your world unless you invite them in.

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<v Speaker 6>And these predators know that. And from the time we're little,

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<v Speaker 6>when somebody smiles at us, it means what that they

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<v Speaker 6>like you, they're approachable, Yeah, And so in that way

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<v Speaker 6>they start to build the trust with you, and it

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<v Speaker 6>seems like a welcoming environment, and so they use that.

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<v Speaker 6>And there's something that we hall charm that they use,

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<v Speaker 6>and charm is not something that we're born with. It

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<v Speaker 6>is a mechanism we use in order to get what

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<v Speaker 6>we want. And so when we look at what Spence did,

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<v Speaker 6>there was a point in there when Jen, your friend said,

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<v Speaker 6>I wanted to come to you, but he was just

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<v Speaker 6>so charming, And I think that's a clear indicator right

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<v Speaker 6>there of just how charming he was. And part of

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<v Speaker 6>the reason he was such a beloved and decorated teacher

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<v Speaker 6>was because he was charming to not only her, but

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<v Speaker 6>to students and faculty and staff, so that he could

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<v Speaker 6>be perceived as trustworthy and somebody that you would want

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<v Speaker 6>to be around.

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<v Speaker 4>And embedding himself in the community. That's something we see

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<v Speaker 4>over and over again.

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<v Speaker 6>So the second thing that happens is something called forced teaming.

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<v Speaker 6>So it's a way to build a camaraderie and to

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<v Speaker 6>kind of gain some trust, and in order to do

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<v Speaker 6>the things that he wanted to do, he had to

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<v Speaker 6>gain trust. We listened to your former friend talk about

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<v Speaker 6>how he would talk to her about soccer.

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<v Speaker 2>It happened so slowly, finding things that were similarities between us,

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<v Speaker 2>like I played soccer, you know, he played soccer.

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<v Speaker 5>I coached, he coached.

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<v Speaker 2>So early conversations would be, you know, when we run

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<v Speaker 2>into each other, like oh, how's the game, or how's coaching,

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<v Speaker 2>or hey, coach. You know, certain things that were not

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<v Speaker 2>necessarily flirtingacious, but getting to know me and my family

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, making me feel comfortable with him.

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<v Speaker 6>Over time, they turn what would be a normal conversation

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<v Speaker 6>of I like to do this to a we like

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<v Speaker 6>to do this because you want to form that bond

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<v Speaker 6>between the.

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<v Speaker 5>Two of you to further build trust.

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<v Speaker 6>It killed me in his letter when he said, dear villagers,

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<v Speaker 6>that's a we. We're all in this together. This is

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<v Speaker 6>our village. Then he said thanks for being such good

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<v Speaker 6>friends to Jin, and that was another way for him

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<v Speaker 6>to create the wei where none existed.

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<v Speaker 3>I never thought about it like that.

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<v Speaker 6>Then we go into number three, which is too many details.

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<v Speaker 6>So perpetrators often give too many details when they're covering

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<v Speaker 6>their tracks, and the reason they do that is because

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<v Speaker 6>they know that what they're saying is a lie, but

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<v Speaker 6>they have to convince you that what they're saying is

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<v Speaker 6>not a lie. So they go on and on giving

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<v Speaker 6>you so many details to where it sounds convincing, and

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<v Speaker 6>unless they see on your face that you believe them,

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<v Speaker 6>they'll keep going.

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<v Speaker 5>On and on and on.

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<v Speaker 6>When we go into the fourth one, we've got typecasting

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<v Speaker 6>and judgment that pops up. I remember in one specific

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<v Speaker 6>instance when the student was talking about meeting with Spencer

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<v Speaker 6>and she said, at some point in that conversation, I quote,

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<v Speaker 6>you are a woman, are you not.

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<v Speaker 1>In twenty fifteen, Spencer made a hard play for at

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<v Speaker 1>least one other student at hel high school, and yes

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<v Speaker 1>she was a teenager. Here are some of the messages

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<v Speaker 1>he sent to that student.

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<v Speaker 6>What about hanging after school one day, We'd get away

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<v Speaker 6>from this place.

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<v Speaker 1>And when he didn't get the result he wanted, he

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<v Speaker 1>tried a different tactic her adulthood. You are a woman,

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<v Speaker 1>are you not?

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<v Speaker 6>That is a judgment, That is him saying, are you

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<v Speaker 6>not going to act like a woman? And it type

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<v Speaker 6>cast her into a role that she didn't sign up for.

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<v Speaker 1>You mentioned earlier the need to please, trying to be friendly,

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<v Speaker 1>be a good friend. Do you feel like the need

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<v Speaker 1>to please comes from a place of fear, fear of

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<v Speaker 1>losing your boyfriend, the fear of losing a friend.

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<v Speaker 4>One of the things we teach in classes is really

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<v Speaker 4>flipping that script. We talk about the fact that we

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<v Speaker 4>have all walked into a room or a relationship and thought, oh,

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<v Speaker 4>I hope they like me, but instead thinking I hope

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<v Speaker 4>I like them, I hope they live up to my standard.

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<v Speaker 4>I hope that this is somebody that I want to

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<v Speaker 4>show off to the whole world. And if I don't,

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<v Speaker 4>something is wrong. It's not something wrong with me, something

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<v Speaker 4>is wrong with them. And looking at it that way

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<v Speaker 4>and giving ourselves permission to hurt their feelings. You're allowed

0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.880
<v Speaker 4>to say no, and they will survive it, even if

0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:16.240
<v Speaker 4>they're unhappy about it. No is a full sentence. It

0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.600
<v Speaker 4>doesn't have to be explained. It doesn't have to be

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:23.360
<v Speaker 4>excused like it is no period and teaching women and girls.

0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:25.600
<v Speaker 4>You can do that and that's okay and still be

0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:27.920
<v Speaker 4>a good person and happy with yourself because if you

0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:31.200
<v Speaker 4>need to say no, they're not living up to your standard,

0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.200
<v Speaker 4>and you can walk out with no explanation.

0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:35.720
<v Speaker 1>Was there anything else that you heard in gen story

0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:36.360
<v Speaker 1>that stayed with you?

0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:38.400
<v Speaker 4>I think about the woman in the band because I

0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.040
<v Speaker 4>remember she said I wasn't as good as everybody else,

0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:43.760
<v Speaker 4>and I didn't know why I was there that hook

0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.320
<v Speaker 4>of where there was a certain amount of really low

0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:50.080
<v Speaker 4>self esteem and not trusting herself to be enough, which

0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:51.880
<v Speaker 4>is not her fault, and he took advantage of that.

0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:56.160
<v Speaker 7>I wasn't nearly as talented as any of the rest

0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.600
<v Speaker 7>of them in the group. I don't really know how

0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:04.439
<v Speaker 7>I got approve, but I felt like he made it

0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.800
<v Speaker 7>a point to push for me to be in the band.

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 7>Here I'm having this awesome opportunity, and I knew like, God,

0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:18.360
<v Speaker 7>I shouldn't be going. So I guess I felt like

0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:19.880
<v Speaker 7>I owed him something.

0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:24.720
<v Speaker 1>I have so much gratitude for Hope for being that

0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:29.680
<v Speaker 1>radically honest about her self worth and self esteem, because

0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.400
<v Speaker 1>that really showed the dynamics at play.

0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.400
<v Speaker 5>Throughout the history of the podcast.

0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:39.240
<v Speaker 6>It was so incredible to watch the different dynamics play

0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.400
<v Speaker 6>out and the different people and jen it's so eye

0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:45.800
<v Speaker 6>opening to people like us who've been doing this for

0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:49.240
<v Speaker 6>a long time to hear the different patterns and to

0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:51.560
<v Speaker 6>see the way that he moved through all of these

0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:54.840
<v Speaker 6>people and the way he selected his victims. But it

0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.640
<v Speaker 6>was also interesting to see that he chose you, and

0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.360
<v Speaker 6>I think, you know, there was a hartspense that really

0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.440
<v Speaker 6>did look up to you and really thought you were

0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.040
<v Speaker 6>this incredible woman who had all these gifts and all

0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:11.680
<v Speaker 6>these talents, and you were confident and in a way

0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.720
<v Speaker 6>when you look at it strategically, I guess we'll say

0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 6>it also was another plaque on the wall. I'm married,

0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:23.120
<v Speaker 6>I have this great wife, she's smart. I'm not the

0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:24.600
<v Speaker 6>guy that's doing these.

0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:27.840
<v Speaker 8>Things, Jennifer. Ever since I saw you walk into that

0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:31.080
<v Speaker 8>hotel lobby last year, I've known what I'm supposed to

0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.160
<v Speaker 8>do with the rest of my life. I feel beyond

0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:36.880
<v Speaker 8>honored to know you, to love you, and to accept

0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.720
<v Speaker 8>the most privilege of all things being your husband.

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.320
<v Speaker 6>It was the Hollywood movie said that he was portraying

0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:47.680
<v Speaker 6>with all of his accolades and his wife, that is

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:49.400
<v Speaker 6>this amazing human.

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.640
<v Speaker 4>The other thing that stood out to me was your

0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:58.560
<v Speaker 4>kindness in hearing the truth and being honest about all

0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:03.200
<v Speaker 4>the hard parts, but offering a soft place to land

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:07.760
<v Speaker 4>for these women who, while you have been through so much,

0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.880
<v Speaker 4>you know they've been through. Something also that stood out

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.320
<v Speaker 4>to me over and over and over again, because part

0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:18.680
<v Speaker 4>of the conversation that we have, particularly with families or schools,

0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:22.440
<v Speaker 4>is understanding what grace looks like and how to wrap

0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.840
<v Speaker 4>your arms around somebody in an almost impossible situation. I

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.840
<v Speaker 4>think it sets an example and opens up a safe space,

0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:32.280
<v Speaker 4>like you said, for more people to come forward and

0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 4>to talk about it and to feel free doing that.

0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.000
<v Speaker 1>What were some of the questions that a lot of

0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.760
<v Speaker 1>survivors are bringing to the table when they're looking for help.

0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:44.080
<v Speaker 4>More so than their general questions, is that they felt alone.

0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:48.200
<v Speaker 4>And it wasn't until somebody stood up in front of

0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:51.240
<v Speaker 4>a group of people and acknowledged that these things do happen,

0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:54.480
<v Speaker 4>that we are not alone, and the more we talk

0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:57.840
<v Speaker 4>about it, the stronger we get together, and that we

0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:00.760
<v Speaker 4>can look at what's going on and recognize in every

0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.600
<v Speaker 4>incident of violence or assault or abuse, there's really only

0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:08.120
<v Speaker 4>one person to blame, and so how can we take

0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:11.520
<v Speaker 4>freedom from that and then move forward looking at the

0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:17.439
<v Speaker 4>world with a slightly different lens. Watching so many women

0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:23.520
<v Speaker 4>recognize that there is a sisterhood in that room and yeah,

0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:27.000
<v Speaker 4>that they're not alone. You genuinely can see people get

0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:30.439
<v Speaker 4>taller and start to recognize that they did everything they

0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:35.000
<v Speaker 4>could with what they had and collectively will build from here.

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.879
<v Speaker 6>When we look at natural disasters and different things that

0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:44.080
<v Speaker 6>happen in the world, let's say a hurricane, there's this

0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:49.240
<v Speaker 6>collective community response where everybody shows up and says, we're

0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:52.680
<v Speaker 6>all here to support you and help. The problem with

0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:57.760
<v Speaker 6>sexual assault, domestic violence, stalking, any kind of interpersonal violence

0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:02.520
<v Speaker 6>is behind closed. It's private, and so you do feel alone.

0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:05.719
<v Speaker 6>But once you collectively come together as a group, and

0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:10.040
<v Speaker 6>podcasts like yours are so helpful because you're saying no, no,

0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:12.399
<v Speaker 6>you're not alone.

0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:15.640
<v Speaker 1>You're not alone. Never forget that. You guys are doing

0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:19.440
<v Speaker 1>incredible work. For more information on sasa's educational and self

0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:23.040
<v Speaker 1>defense programs, go to sasco dot org. Thank you for

0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:28.080
<v Speaker 1>joining us today, Yes, thank you, and thanks to you

0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:31.920
<v Speaker 1>guys our Betrayal community, and get ready, we'll be back

0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:35.200
<v Speaker 1>with season two of Betrayals starting May eighteenth. It's about

0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:38.600
<v Speaker 1>a new betrayal that rarely ever is spoken about, but

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:42.320
<v Speaker 1>will confront it head on. Here's a sneak peek.

0:18:49.240 --> 0:18:53.600
<v Speaker 9>My husband and I were opening a business. His first

0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:57.240
<v Speaker 9>job was that very next day, one of the clients

0:18:57.240 --> 0:19:00.480
<v Speaker 9>had asked if they could bend moo. Him called me

0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:05.119
<v Speaker 9>that morning September twenty ninth, twenty twenty one. He was like,

0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:08.280
<v Speaker 9>I need you to set up my business Venmo, and

0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.640
<v Speaker 9>I was like, all right, use your name and password

0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.879
<v Speaker 9>for whatever email is connected to your venmo. So he

0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.920
<v Speaker 9>sent me the log in for his eCloud and as

0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:21.719
<v Speaker 9>I'm signing in, he frantically calls me back. He was like, Oh,

0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:23.240
<v Speaker 9>don't worry about it, we'll do it together when we

0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:25.960
<v Speaker 9>get home. Like, I'm sorry, it's gonna be too much, Like,

0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:30.639
<v Speaker 9>don't do it. I knew by the tenor of his

0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:34.720
<v Speaker 9>voice that he was trying to hide something. I thought

0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:36.480
<v Speaker 9>maybe he bought something that he didn't want me to

0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:40.960
<v Speaker 9>know about. There was nothing in his photos, and then

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:45.040
<v Speaker 9>I scrolled down and that's when I saw a hidden

0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:52.040
<v Speaker 9>folder and I opened it. You know, when you open

0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:54.480
<v Speaker 9>your photos, it's going to show you like a whole

0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:58.639
<v Speaker 9>bunch of them at once. I slammed my computer shut.

0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:11.880
<v Speaker 9>What the hell did I just see