Speaker 1: First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys
Speaker 1: online at Advocateslaw dot com.
Speaker 2: Ryan is on the phone today for our first Date
Speaker 2: follow up. He's getting ghosted by a woman named Lena,
Speaker 2: and in a few minutes we're gonna call her seems
Speaker 2: to tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe get
Speaker 2: him another date. But first, Ryan, how long has it
Speaker 2: been since you heard from her?
Speaker 3: You know, it's been like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 4: That's definitely a ghosting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So how many times have you reached out to
Speaker 1: her in that time?
Speaker 3: You know, just a few times. I don't like to
Speaker 3: like text too much, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 3: you like, I think three times I text her and
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, that's I'm not doing any more than that.
Speaker 1: So what do you Let's go back to the date then, like,
Speaker 1: how did you guys meet? What happened on the date?
Speaker 3: So we met on Hinge and then I felt like
Speaker 3: a really good connection. We both love concerts and like
Speaker 3: new adventures and trying new things, traveling stuff like that,
Speaker 3: and like she's very witty and she's very interesting. She's beautiful.
Speaker 3: So we went to a burger spot on the water nice. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, it was a lot of fun. Like it
Speaker 3: was nice and like kind of outside kind of area.
Speaker 3: We were having some drinks, you know, just talking, and
Speaker 3: afterwards we went and walked around and like kind of
Speaker 3: took in the scenery and we you know, we had
Speaker 3: a really great kiss. And it was just like, I
Speaker 3: don't understand why she goes to me because it felt
Speaker 3: so romantic and like idealized, you know. I mean maybe
Speaker 3: some people would think it's cheesy.
Speaker 5: I don't know, but that's.
Speaker 3: What I was looking for.
Speaker 1: But it sounds romantic actually, So after all this time,
Speaker 1: you know, she's ghosting you two weeks later, the date
Speaker 1: sounds great, But what is it about her that makes
Speaker 1: you want to see her now?
Speaker 3: You know? I just felt like I had a real connection.
Speaker 3: We were like kind of similar goals. We both want
Speaker 3: to travel. I just felt like we we went well together.
Speaker 1: Did something happen on the date at all that may
Speaker 1: have made it go in a different direction?
Speaker 3: Well, I will say, you know something kind of not
Speaker 3: popular now is I have made a decision recently to
Speaker 3: abstained from sex until marriage.
Speaker 1: Okay, and you told her this.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes I did, And this is new.
Speaker 2: You have I'm always heard okay, okay, right, and you
Speaker 2: think maybe she had a problem with that because she's
Speaker 2: like I need you right now.
Speaker 4: Ryan.
Speaker 3: It's you know, it's possible because like I don't think
Speaker 3: that's the thing that's common now, Like, you know, some
Speaker 3: people do it, but it's like, especially you know here,
Speaker 3: like I don't feel like that's one of those things
Speaker 3: that people do anymore. But the reason why I kind
Speaker 3: of went that direction is, you know, I slept around
Speaker 3: and it felt empty, and it felt like I was
Speaker 3: just kind of using girls for their body and I
Speaker 3: wasn't connecting right, you know, And it's one of those
Speaker 3: things after a while, you're like, gosh, like what do
Speaker 3: I really want? So, you know, I asked myself when
Speaker 3: I was like, I want somebody that I could build
Speaker 3: a future with, and I feel like Lana has that potential.
Speaker 4: Okay, I can respect that.
Speaker 2: My last breakup, I decided that I wasn't going to
Speaker 2: give myself to anybody unless I thought that their energy
Speaker 2: was good, you know, or that like I wasn't necessarily
Speaker 2: a marriage thing, but it was kind of the same thing,
Speaker 2: but it was more about I don't want to like
Speaker 2: mix my energy with bad energy, you know, because I
Speaker 2: feel like it does. I feel like you know you
Speaker 2: do do it does somehow become a part of you. Well,
Speaker 2: you exchanged more than just what you can see. That
Speaker 2: energy is also exchanged between the two of you. So fair, fair,
Speaker 2: for fair points for both of you. Look at you, guys.
Speaker 4: Thank you, because that's for sure. I'm maturing Ryan.
Speaker 1: Everybody connection too.
Speaker 4: So why do you think she's using you?
Speaker 6: Then?
Speaker 3: I think, you know, I just don't know if she
Speaker 3: was comfortable with that. I mean, that's my thought, but like,
Speaker 3: I don't know for sure because everything else went pretty well.
Speaker 3: But when I said that, she she didn't have a
Speaker 3: bad reaction, but it was just kind of like she
Speaker 3: tend stuff a little bit, you know, and then it
Speaker 3: kind of like pad a moment passed. So I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I guess it's fine.
Speaker 2: We'll see if we can figure it out for you,
Speaker 2: and we'll plays song come back and then call her
Speaker 2: and see if she'll tell us why she's ghosting you
Speaker 2: and maybe get you another date. Okay, Okay, sounds great,
Speaker 2: All right, man, pleas I'll come back get your first
Speaker 2: day follow up next. Right in the middle of the
Speaker 2: first day follow up and if you're just joining us.
Speaker 2: Ryan is on the phone. He's getting ghosted by Lana,
Speaker 2: and in a minute we're gonna call her see if
Speaker 2: she tells us why she's ghosting him and maybe get
Speaker 2: him another date. But first, Ryan, why don't you recap
Speaker 2: to everybody your situation.
Speaker 3: So I met Lana on Hinge. We connected really quickly.
Speaker 3: I felt like a good connection with her loss of
Speaker 3: similar andrest. We went to a burger spot on the water,
Speaker 3: had a bunch of cocktails and had a lot of fun,
Speaker 3: and we went for a walk.
Speaker 5: We kissed.
Speaker 3: Everything seemed perfect, But I feel like, maybe because I
Speaker 3: want to stain from sex until marriage because of my past,
Speaker 3: that she might be ghosting me.
Speaker 4: Okay, are you ready for us to call her?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Here we go. Hello, Hi, man, I speak to Alana. Please.
Speaker 4: This is Lana.
Speaker 2: Hi Lana, how are you? My name is Jubel and
Speaker 2: I host a radio show. It's called The Jewbell Show.
Speaker 1: Hi, Lana, the whole show's here. I'm Nina. Hi, I'm Victoria.
Speaker 3: How are you hid?
Speaker 5: Thank you?
Speaker 4: Have you ever heard the show before?
Speaker 3: I have not.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll let you know something. We do a segment
Speaker 2: on our show. It's called the first date follow up.
Speaker 2: What that is is if you go out on a
Speaker 2: date with somebody and then you ghost them, that person
Speaker 2: can email us to get you on the phone and
Speaker 2: ask why you're ghosting them.
Speaker 4: So we got an email about you.
Speaker 6: Oh and this is from Ryan.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, it is Wowway.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Sometimes people say another name, so we know they're ghosting
Speaker 2: multiple people. But you're obviously just ghosting Ryan right now.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 6: I would say that I have not exactly been ghosting Ryan.
Speaker 5: That wasn't my intention. I was taking time to process
Speaker 5: what he told me. At the end of our date.
Speaker 6: Ryan said that he is waiting until marriage, and that
Speaker 6: is not something that I've ever done in a relationship.
Speaker 6: I have always had intimacy with all of my partners
Speaker 6: and it's a really big part of a relationship for me.
Speaker 5: So it was not my.
Speaker 6: Intention to completely ghost Ryan. I really was trying to
Speaker 6: take time to think about if this could be something
Speaker 6: that would work for me. I had such a good time. Yes,
Speaker 6: it was so magical, and he's such a spiritual guy
Speaker 6: and we really connected. I felt like he was really
Speaker 6: seeing me. But I'm afraid that if we get into
Speaker 6: this relationship without you know, the intimacy that I'm usual
Speaker 6: will one, this sounds bad, but what if we're not
Speaker 6: good together physically and we find out too late?
Speaker 1: That's fair.
Speaker 6: And another thing that I have been thinking about is
Speaker 6: what if it becomes something that gives me, you know,
Speaker 6: reason to stray, our thoughts to stray because I am
Speaker 6: a sexual person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're processing a lot of different things.
Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, I.
Speaker 1: Could understand that. Yeah, I mean, it's not something that
Speaker 1: you hear all the time, and especially if that's a
Speaker 1: way that you connect and share yourself with another person.
Speaker 1: And then that's a lot of pressure too, right because
Speaker 1: you're like, wait a second, so we're doing this, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get excited and want to unwrap the present, but
Speaker 1: I can't marry you.
Speaker 2: So what if we could convince Ryan to sleep with
Speaker 2: you before you're married? Would you swallow with him again?
Speaker 1: But would you?
Speaker 6: I would love to sleep with Ryan, But if this
Speaker 6: is a boundary that he is setting I and I
Speaker 6: were to get into a relationship with him, I would
Speaker 6: I would want to respect that. I would not once
Speaker 6: I am in the relationship, I would not. I would
Speaker 6: have given up any plans to sleep with Ryan.
Speaker 4: What if we could convince him to go back on
Speaker 4: his morals. Though, well, she's.
Speaker 1: Respecting his boundaries, maybe you should respect his boundaries.
Speaker 2: I'll respect his boundaries for now. Lona Ryan is actually
Speaker 2: on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.
Speaker 5: Oh hi Ryan.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's probably like the most awkward way
Speaker 3: we could meet again. But I want to say, first
Speaker 3: of all, I respect that, like you respect my boundaries.
Speaker 3: It was nice to hear that without you knowing I
Speaker 3: was there, because like that, that proves to me that
Speaker 3: if we can make it work, that this could work.
Speaker 3: But I just want to say, like for me, I
Speaker 3: don't see intimacy as just there's physical, emotional, mental intimacy
Speaker 3: that can be built. Like you know, we can have
Speaker 3: days where we just cuddle. Is to lass, like all
Speaker 3: that's on the table still, I'm just not trying to
Speaker 3: take it all the way.
Speaker 1: So like where do you draw the line?
Speaker 3: Well, I think that's something that we have to discuss, right.
Speaker 6: I respect that, and that does make me excited to
Speaker 6: hear that you have interest in being intimate with me.
Speaker 6: I am My biggest concern is still I just am
Speaker 6: really concerned of.
Speaker 5: Straying and that's not your fault, not your fault at all.
Speaker 6: That's something that I need to decide and you know,
Speaker 6: make a plan with my morals that I will not
Speaker 6: you know, if we were to be in a relationship together,
Speaker 6: that I will not feel that I'm not getting what
Speaker 6: I need and then look for what I need elsewhere.
Speaker 3: I think I can find ways to take care of
Speaker 3: what you need.
Speaker 4: At least sort Ryan.
Speaker 2: Not that I'm trying to get you to rethink the
Speaker 2: promise that you made to yourself, but I'm trying to
Speaker 2: get you to rethink it. When I decided to do
Speaker 2: this similar thing, I didn't make it about marriage because
Speaker 2: you know, like you should really get to know somebody
Speaker 2: for it, and it can be a long time before marriage,
Speaker 2: so that's a long time not doing it. But me
Speaker 2: and my therapist came up with I will not give
Speaker 2: myself to anybody until I know I have a secure
Speaker 2: connection with them.
Speaker 3: Well, I think that's fair. I think that's a healthy
Speaker 3: way of taking of the two.
Speaker 2: So, because does it have to be like a ring
Speaker 2: and a ceremony and all that for Ryan to get
Speaker 2: it out?
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't think it has to, but there definitely
Speaker 3: has to be that line where it's like, I know
Speaker 3: I'm building a future with you at the very least.
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of talk that we're getting
Speaker 1: ahead of ourselves here a little bit. You guys like
Speaker 1: each other, and I think there's definitely stuff that you
Speaker 1: guys can explore to even see if you're gonna make
Speaker 1: it all that way. People just tell me not to
Speaker 1: get ahead of myself, and I feel like we're gonna
Speaker 1: ahead of our selves here too, So I don't know
Speaker 1: that there's a possibility of you getting your needs met
Speaker 1: in a certain way. Lana, and Ryan, you know you're
Speaker 1: open to exploring that stuff too. I don't see any problems.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that will work.
Speaker 5: I do think that it may be cheesy, but I
Speaker 5: think that it.
Speaker 6: Is very sweet that you brought me on the radio
Speaker 6: to call me for a second date. I think that
Speaker 6: is very romantic and I'm willing to try it. I
Speaker 6: think that we have such a good connection.
Speaker 2: Solana, you'll go out with Ryan again. We'll pay for it.
Speaker 5: I will.
Speaker 3: I would love to see you again. Ryan. Awesome, that's great.
Speaker 3: I'm glad to hear that. It's like, it's I'm so excited,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys are cute.
Speaker 5: I'm excited too, me too.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Congratulations, Ryan, you did it. You got another date.
Speaker 3: Double's First Date follow up