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Speaker 1: First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys

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Speaker 1: online at Advocateslaw dot com.

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Speaker 2: Ryan is on the phone today for our first Date

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Speaker 2: follow up. He's getting ghosted by a woman named Lena,

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Speaker 2: and in a few minutes we're gonna call her seems

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Speaker 2: to tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe get

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Speaker 2: him another date. But first, Ryan, how long has it

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Speaker 2: been since you heard from her?

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Speaker 3: You know, it's been like a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 4: That's definitely a ghosting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So how many times have you reached out to

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Speaker 1: her in that time?

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Speaker 3: You know, just a few times. I don't like to

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Speaker 3: like text too much, you know what I mean? Like

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Speaker 3: you like, I think three times I text her and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, that's I'm not doing any more than that.

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Speaker 1: So what do you Let's go back to the date then, like,

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Speaker 1: how did you guys meet? What happened on the date?

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Speaker 3: So we met on Hinge and then I felt like

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Speaker 3: a really good connection. We both love concerts and like

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Speaker 3: new adventures and trying new things, traveling stuff like that,

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Speaker 3: and like she's very witty and she's very interesting. She's beautiful.

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Speaker 3: So we went to a burger spot on the water nice. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, it was a lot of fun. Like it

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Speaker 3: was nice and like kind of outside kind of area.

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Speaker 3: We were having some drinks, you know, just talking, and

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Speaker 3: afterwards we went and walked around and like kind of

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Speaker 3: took in the scenery and we you know, we had

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Speaker 3: a really great kiss. And it was just like, I

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Speaker 3: don't understand why she goes to me because it felt

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Speaker 3: so romantic and like idealized, you know. I mean maybe

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Speaker 3: some people would think it's cheesy.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, but that's.

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Speaker 3: What I was looking for.

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Speaker 1: But it sounds romantic actually, So after all this time,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's ghosting you two weeks later, the date

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Speaker 1: sounds great, But what is it about her that makes

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Speaker 1: you want to see her now?

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Speaker 3: You know? I just felt like I had a real connection.

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Speaker 3: We were like kind of similar goals. We both want

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Speaker 3: to travel. I just felt like we we went well together.

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Speaker 1: Did something happen on the date at all that may

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Speaker 1: have made it go in a different direction?

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Speaker 3: Well, I will say, you know something kind of not

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Speaker 3: popular now is I have made a decision recently to

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Speaker 3: abstained from sex until marriage.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and you told her this.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes I did, And this is new.

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Speaker 2: You have I'm always heard okay, okay, right, and you

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Speaker 2: think maybe she had a problem with that because she's

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Speaker 2: like I need you right now.

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Speaker 4: Ryan.

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Speaker 3: It's you know, it's possible because like I don't think

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Speaker 3: that's the thing that's common now, Like, you know, some

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Speaker 3: people do it, but it's like, especially you know here,

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Speaker 3: like I don't feel like that's one of those things

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Speaker 3: that people do anymore. But the reason why I kind

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Speaker 3: of went that direction is, you know, I slept around

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Speaker 3: and it felt empty, and it felt like I was

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Speaker 3: just kind of using girls for their body and I

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Speaker 3: wasn't connecting right, you know, And it's one of those

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Speaker 3: things after a while, you're like, gosh, like what do

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Speaker 3: I really want? So, you know, I asked myself when

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Speaker 3: I was like, I want somebody that I could build

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Speaker 3: a future with, and I feel like Lana has that potential.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I can respect that.

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Speaker 2: My last breakup, I decided that I wasn't going to

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Speaker 2: give myself to anybody unless I thought that their energy

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Speaker 2: was good, you know, or that like I wasn't necessarily

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Speaker 2: a marriage thing, but it was kind of the same thing,

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Speaker 2: but it was more about I don't want to like

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Speaker 2: mix my energy with bad energy, you know, because I

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Speaker 2: feel like it does. I feel like you know you

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Speaker 2: do do it does somehow become a part of you. Well,

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Speaker 2: you exchanged more than just what you can see. That

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Speaker 2: energy is also exchanged between the two of you. So fair, fair,

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Speaker 2: for fair points for both of you. Look at you, guys.

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Speaker 4: Thank you, because that's for sure. I'm maturing Ryan.

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Speaker 1: Everybody connection too.

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Speaker 4: So why do you think she's using you?

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Speaker 6: Then?

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Speaker 3: I think, you know, I just don't know if she

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Speaker 3: was comfortable with that. I mean, that's my thought, but like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know for sure because everything else went pretty well.

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Speaker 3: But when I said that, she she didn't have a

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Speaker 3: bad reaction, but it was just kind of like she

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Speaker 3: tend stuff a little bit, you know, and then it

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Speaker 3: kind of like pad a moment passed. So I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I guess it's fine.

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Speaker 2: We'll see if we can figure it out for you,

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Speaker 2: and we'll plays song come back and then call her

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Speaker 2: and see if she'll tell us why she's ghosting you

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Speaker 2: and maybe get you another date. Okay, Okay, sounds great,

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Speaker 2: All right, man, pleas I'll come back get your first

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Speaker 2: day follow up next. Right in the middle of the

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Speaker 2: first day follow up and if you're just joining us.

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Speaker 2: Ryan is on the phone. He's getting ghosted by Lana,

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Speaker 2: and in a minute we're gonna call her see if

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Speaker 2: she tells us why she's ghosting him and maybe get

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Speaker 2: him another date. But first, Ryan, why don't you recap

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Speaker 2: to everybody your situation.

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Speaker 3: So I met Lana on Hinge. We connected really quickly.

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Speaker 3: I felt like a good connection with her loss of

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Speaker 3: similar andrest. We went to a burger spot on the water,

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Speaker 3: had a bunch of cocktails and had a lot of fun,

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Speaker 3: and we went for a walk.

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Speaker 5: We kissed.

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Speaker 3: Everything seemed perfect, But I feel like, maybe because I

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Speaker 3: want to stain from sex until marriage because of my past,

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Speaker 3: that she might be ghosting me.

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Speaker 4: Okay, are you ready for us to call her?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Here we go. Hello, Hi, man, I speak to Alana. Please.

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Speaker 4: This is Lana.

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Speaker 2: Hi Lana, how are you? My name is Jubel and

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Speaker 2: I host a radio show. It's called The Jewbell Show.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Lana, the whole show's here. I'm Nina. Hi, I'm Victoria.

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Speaker 3: How are you hid?

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Speaker 5: Thank you?

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Speaker 4: Have you ever heard the show before?

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Speaker 3: I have not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'll let you know something. We do a segment

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Speaker 2: on our show. It's called the first date follow up.

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Speaker 2: What that is is if you go out on a

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Speaker 2: date with somebody and then you ghost them, that person

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Speaker 2: can email us to get you on the phone and

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Speaker 2: ask why you're ghosting them.

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Speaker 4: So we got an email about you.

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Speaker 6: Oh and this is from Ryan.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, it is Wowway.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes people say another name, so we know they're ghosting

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Speaker 2: multiple people. But you're obviously just ghosting Ryan right now.

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Speaker 5: Uh.

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Speaker 6: I would say that I have not exactly been ghosting Ryan.

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Speaker 5: That wasn't my intention. I was taking time to process

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Speaker 5: what he told me. At the end of our date.

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Speaker 6: Ryan said that he is waiting until marriage, and that

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Speaker 6: is not something that I've ever done in a relationship.

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Speaker 6: I have always had intimacy with all of my partners

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Speaker 6: and it's a really big part of a relationship for me.

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Speaker 5: So it was not my.

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Speaker 6: Intention to completely ghost Ryan. I really was trying to

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Speaker 6: take time to think about if this could be something

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Speaker 6: that would work for me. I had such a good time. Yes,

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Speaker 6: it was so magical, and he's such a spiritual guy

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Speaker 6: and we really connected. I felt like he was really

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Speaker 6: seeing me. But I'm afraid that if we get into

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Speaker 6: this relationship without you know, the intimacy that I'm usual

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Speaker 6: will one, this sounds bad, but what if we're not

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Speaker 6: good together physically and we find out too late?

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Speaker 1: That's fair.

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Speaker 6: And another thing that I have been thinking about is

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Speaker 6: what if it becomes something that gives me, you know,

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Speaker 6: reason to stray, our thoughts to stray because I am

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Speaker 6: a sexual person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're processing a lot of different things.

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Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, I.

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Speaker 1: Could understand that. Yeah, I mean, it's not something that

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Speaker 1: you hear all the time, and especially if that's a

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Speaker 1: way that you connect and share yourself with another person.

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Speaker 1: And then that's a lot of pressure too, right because

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Speaker 1: you're like, wait a second, so we're doing this, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get excited and want to unwrap the present, but

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Speaker 1: I can't marry you.

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Speaker 2: So what if we could convince Ryan to sleep with

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Speaker 2: you before you're married? Would you swallow with him again?

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Speaker 1: But would you?

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Speaker 6: I would love to sleep with Ryan, But if this

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Speaker 6: is a boundary that he is setting I and I

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Speaker 6: were to get into a relationship with him, I would

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Speaker 6: I would want to respect that. I would not once

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Speaker 6: I am in the relationship, I would not. I would

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Speaker 6: have given up any plans to sleep with Ryan.

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Speaker 4: What if we could convince him to go back on

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Speaker 4: his morals. Though, well, she's.

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Speaker 1: Respecting his boundaries, maybe you should respect his boundaries.

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Speaker 2: I'll respect his boundaries for now. Lona Ryan is actually

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Speaker 2: on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.

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Speaker 5: Oh hi Ryan.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I know it's probably like the most awkward way

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Speaker 3: we could meet again. But I want to say, first

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Speaker 3: of all, I respect that, like you respect my boundaries.

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Speaker 3: It was nice to hear that without you knowing I

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Speaker 3: was there, because like that, that proves to me that

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Speaker 3: if we can make it work, that this could work.

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Speaker 3: But I just want to say, like for me, I

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Speaker 3: don't see intimacy as just there's physical, emotional, mental intimacy

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Speaker 3: that can be built. Like you know, we can have

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Speaker 3: days where we just cuddle. Is to lass, like all

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Speaker 3: that's on the table still, I'm just not trying to

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Speaker 3: take it all the way.

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Speaker 1: So like where do you draw the line?

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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's something that we have to discuss, right.

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Speaker 6: I respect that, and that does make me excited to

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Speaker 6: hear that you have interest in being intimate with me.

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Speaker 6: I am My biggest concern is still I just am

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Speaker 6: really concerned of.

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Speaker 5: Straying and that's not your fault, not your fault at all.

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Speaker 6: That's something that I need to decide and you know,

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Speaker 6: make a plan with my morals that I will not

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Speaker 6: you know, if we were to be in a relationship together,

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Speaker 6: that I will not feel that I'm not getting what

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Speaker 6: I need and then look for what I need elsewhere.

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Speaker 3: I think I can find ways to take care of

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Speaker 3: what you need.

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Speaker 4: At least sort Ryan.

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Speaker 2: Not that I'm trying to get you to rethink the

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Speaker 2: promise that you made to yourself, but I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: get you to rethink it. When I decided to do

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Speaker 2: this similar thing, I didn't make it about marriage because

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Speaker 2: you know, like you should really get to know somebody

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Speaker 2: for it, and it can be a long time before marriage,

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Speaker 2: so that's a long time not doing it. But me

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Speaker 2: and my therapist came up with I will not give

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Speaker 2: myself to anybody until I know I have a secure

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Speaker 2: connection with them.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think that's fair. I think that's a healthy

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Speaker 3: way of taking of the two.

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Speaker 2: So, because does it have to be like a ring

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Speaker 2: and a ceremony and all that for Ryan to get

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Speaker 2: it out?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I don't think it has to, but there definitely

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Speaker 3: has to be that line where it's like, I know

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Speaker 3: I'm building a future with you at the very least.

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Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of talk that we're getting

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Speaker 1: ahead of ourselves here a little bit. You guys like

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Speaker 1: each other, and I think there's definitely stuff that you

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Speaker 1: guys can explore to even see if you're gonna make

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Speaker 1: it all that way. People just tell me not to

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Speaker 1: get ahead of myself, and I feel like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: ahead of our selves here too, So I don't know

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Speaker 1: that there's a possibility of you getting your needs met

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Speaker 1: in a certain way. Lana, and Ryan, you know you're

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Speaker 1: open to exploring that stuff too. I don't see any problems.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that will work.

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Speaker 5: I do think that it may be cheesy, but I

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Speaker 5: think that it.

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Speaker 6: Is very sweet that you brought me on the radio

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Speaker 6: to call me for a second date. I think that

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Speaker 6: is very romantic and I'm willing to try it. I

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Speaker 6: think that we have such a good connection.

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Speaker 2: Solana, you'll go out with Ryan again. We'll pay for it.

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Speaker 5: I will.

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Speaker 3: I would love to see you again. Ryan. Awesome, that's great.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad to hear that. It's like, it's I'm so excited,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys are cute.

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Speaker 5: I'm excited too, me too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Congratulations, Ryan, you did it. You got another date.

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Speaker 3: Double's First Date follow up