1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:02,440 Speaker 1: You know, we're gonna get to the Susan in a 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: little bit. I'm already recording. By the way, we will 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: get to Susan, and we have some things to say, Susan. 4 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: Are you listening, Um? Sus So, we were just talking 5 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: about our weekly updates. Hello. By the way, UM, how 6 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: are you this week? I'm good? You are? I mean, 7 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: I don't really have anything to complain about it. Sometimes 8 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: I have to ask myself that question and then I 9 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: have to think about it and like check in with 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: my body. Am I good? Am I okay? I feel okay, 11 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: I'm fine, Everything's fine. UM. I have a lot of 12 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,199 Speaker 1: things that that are weird this week, but I'm not 13 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,919 Speaker 1: really fully ready to talk about them, so we'll get 14 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: back to those another week. UM. One of the things 15 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: that happened to me this week though, that I was 16 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: just telling you, I did feel like a kind of 17 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: a growth thing. And I think this is something I 18 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 1: tried to adopt um as far as maybe a couple 19 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: of years ago, and I have since retracted from that. 20 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: I realized yesterday I kind of gotten the spiral again 21 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 1: of feeling the same way, and UM, I caught myself 22 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,839 Speaker 1: in it, which is progress. And then you can switch 23 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: the narrative. So basically what I'm talking about is I 24 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: ran into an old friend and um, I haven't seen 25 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: her in years, you know. And it was very interesting 26 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: because you know, when you have that situation where you 27 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:16,960 Speaker 1: see someone you haven't seen forever, it's like you pick 28 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,080 Speaker 1: right back up where you left off. But then also 29 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: it's like you don't know them, okay. So it was 30 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: that it was like, oh my god, and the conversation 31 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: flowed so easy, and we're like, well, what about this 32 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: and what about this? And oh my god, I have 33 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: to tell you about this part and blah blah blah. 34 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: But a lot of what was different is the progress 35 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: that her life and her career have made, and I 36 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 1: was a huge part at the beginning part of that process, 37 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: and so it was so different and so interesting to 38 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: kind of be like, holy shit, this was wild, you know, 39 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: to see all this stuff. And I found myself initially 40 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: being like, oh my god, intimidated maybe, like or you 41 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: start doing the thing. And I've talked about this pretty openly, 42 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: like the last two years have been so weird for 43 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: my career year. I mean, I had all that weird 44 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: reality TV stuff that kind of just took me out emotionally, 45 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: and I think I just started to shut down. Then 46 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: the pandemic happened and our entire industry just completely disappeared, 47 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: and like touring stopped and that, and like being on 48 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,679 Speaker 1: set and filming stuff stopped, and so it was very 49 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: weird as a process to feel like I had gotten 50 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,080 Speaker 1: to maybe the best part of my career in twenty nineteen, 51 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: literally made the most money I've ever made, had the 52 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: most successful year, and then it kind of started crashing. 53 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: It was bizarre. So I think I'm comparing my version 54 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: of the last two years to what was happening in 55 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,640 Speaker 1: her life, which you can't do. But I was like 56 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: immediately like, oh my god, I don't have any of 57 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: this stuff. Like I saw her office. It was amazing 58 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: and it's beautiful, and like I had to get rid 59 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: of my office during the pandemic because I was like 60 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: so nervous I wouldn't be able to afford the rent. 61 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: You know. It was just like stuff like that, and 62 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: um I got home. I'll be honest, I went like 63 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 1: in a dark spiral. It was just like I do 64 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: this thing where I'm like, you are a fraud, Like 65 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 1: I have this narrative in my head that's so old. 66 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: But it's like, you're a fraud. You don't know what 67 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: you're doing. You're never going to be successful, You're never 68 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 1: going to have the things that other people have. You're dumb. 69 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: You you like like literally just start on this day 70 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,920 Speaker 1: and you know, like it's all of it. Wait, I'm 71 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: gonna stop you before you can continue, because I don't 72 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,399 Speaker 1: want to forget to say this. Like what you need 73 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 1: to remember is that you bought a house. I know, 74 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: you know, Like you're not a fraud, You're not unsuccessful. 75 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: Comparison is a thief of joy. And you know, because 76 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: I know who you're talking about. Like the business that 77 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: she is in has thrived through the pandemic, so it's 78 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: it's different. It's a different she's on a different journey. 79 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: But that's exactly right. She's on a different journey. And 80 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: what I've learned is like everyone's seasons are different, right, 81 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: Like there have been times where I was probably thriving 82 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: more than her and then stuff crashes and then you 83 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 1: were build and whatever. And so just like you said, 84 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: comparison is a thief of joy. My mom always says, 85 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: you can't compare your outsides are your insides with someone 86 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: else's outsides, And so yeah, I've been on a interesting, 87 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,080 Speaker 1: honestly really tough journey the last couple of years, but 88 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: it is taking me to a place of getting to 89 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,359 Speaker 1: know myself on an entirely deeper level, on a higher 90 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: consciousness level. And and then maybe that's my journey in general. 91 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: And it's just never could never look like someone else's. 92 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 1: But you can't compare yourself because that doesn't mean that 93 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: your life can't be happy or great or joyous and 94 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: free and all the things right. And you also have 95 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: to ask yourself what you want your career. Do you 96 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 1: want a room full of employees or do you want 97 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 1: to not have to manage a bunch of people? Like 98 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: that's a great point too, because I will tell you 99 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: something that I learned during the pandemic was like, excuse me, 100 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: La Croix is getting this is the kind of should 101 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 1: should really edit this podcast? We don't edit this, by 102 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: the way, which we'll talk about later. But sometimes she's 103 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: like a Burt flies out um. So I had a point, 104 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 1: oh in twenty nineteen, when I was saying to you, 105 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: it was like, by my most successful year, I had 106 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: zero life and I was constantly stressed. I was working 107 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: like eighteen hours every single day, go home, sleep a 108 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 1: little bit, and like I was filming that show that 109 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: was trying to follow my dating journey, and I was 110 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: like date, Like when in the world am I supposed 111 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:35,840 Speaker 1: to God, I was like fake going on fake dates 112 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: to have a TV storyline, but the reality was is 113 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,919 Speaker 1: like there was no time for dating, you know, but 114 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: it was a really unhealthy place to live in and 115 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: I actually I don't want to go back to that. 116 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: So maybe that means some different financial stuff for me, 117 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 1: or it means like I don't have a big, shiny 118 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: office or you know, right now, like maybe I get 119 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: back to that, But I can't compare myself in that 120 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: way because I really have been what like what do 121 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: you want? Like Also, having employees is a huge responsibility, 122 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 1: which I know that too, and so like, you know, 123 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,919 Speaker 1: I've got the one as of right now, and maybe 124 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: that's enough or you know, I don't know. I think 125 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: it's just like you can't compare yourself to anyone else, 126 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: Like you said, you really have to focus on figuring 127 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: out what makes you happy, what you want your life 128 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: to look like, and know that that's enough, and you 129 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: know it's so it's you know, we do that in 130 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 1: every sort of facet of our lives. It's like we 131 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: all think we need a bigger car than we need. 132 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: Friend gets a nice or bigger car. It's like, but 133 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: if your car runs great and it serves its purpose, 134 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: then like it's you have to sort of block out 135 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: that chatter. Yeah, And another friend made a really good 136 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: point to me yesterday, but she was like, do you 137 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 1: know how many people look at your life? And I go, 138 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: I wish I did that, And I get messages all 139 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,359 Speaker 1: the time specifically about my job. But like, yes, I 140 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: think we could all do it to each other, you know. 141 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: But I think the reason I want to say this 142 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: is just for people to know that it happened to 143 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 1: all of us. Like, no matter what you have, I 144 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: think you're constantly susceptible, especially with the social media days, 145 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: of looking at someone else's outside and comparing them to 146 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: your insides and just being like, oh, I'm just not 147 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: as good, you know, and that's just not true. So 148 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: so how did you resolve it? Okay? So I did? Um. 149 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: Actually I texted you because I was like spiraling and 150 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, can we go to dinner. I need 151 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: to get out of here, and you're like, I can't 152 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: tell eight, which is way too late. I was like, eight, 153 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: are you joking? I believe to be like in the 154 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: bath about to go to bed at that time. Um. 155 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: But I sat there for a second and I was like, 156 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: why am I sitting here letting myself get down. I 157 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: actually feel really proud of her, because the truth is 158 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: is I remember when she started this business, and I 159 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: know how hard she works. So I texted her that 160 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 1: I was just was like, hey, I just wanted to say, like, 161 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: it was so refreshing to see you today and see 162 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: you thriving and see all of the stuff you built. 163 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: I knew you could do this way back when, and 164 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: to see it actually come to fruition was so amazing 165 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: and so good on you. Keep going, keep building. Really 166 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 1: proud of you and whatever. And I just put it 167 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: out there like that, and it made me feel so 168 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: much better and more peaceful to cheer on a fellow 169 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: woman killing it in business versus let myself sink down 170 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 1: and feel small that my life looks a little different 171 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: right now. Yeah. I mean, look, I think that's really 172 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 1: big of you. And I also think that like that's 173 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: exactly what the Kelly that I know would have done, 174 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,199 Speaker 1: you know, so thank you, But I do I think 175 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 1: it's important that, um, you know, we recognize when we 176 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 1: have those sort of reactions to things, because that's what 177 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: drives and inspires us to be better or to achieve more. Yes, 178 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: that's a great point because the same friend who reminded 179 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: me that other people probably look at my life and 180 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,360 Speaker 1: compare theirs or whatever also said or you could look 181 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,359 Speaker 1: at her life and go, hey, like that office is gorgeous, 182 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 1: and like start making plans to like lean your business 183 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: in that direction and go, that's like aspirational, that's what 184 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 1: I want to build myself, and not let your insecurities 185 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 1: inhibit you, but instead like make it a goal. Yeah 186 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: maybe you didn't realize that's what you wanted until you 187 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: saw it, that's right. Yeah, I mean and and yeah, 188 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 1: just like learning from people that that have something that 189 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,719 Speaker 1: you want versus go, why don't I have that? So 190 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: I think it's a really interesting person. You know, you 191 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 1: guys were on a similar journey, so it's like it 192 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,760 Speaker 1: makes you be like, wait a minute, I can get 193 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,840 Speaker 1: there too, totally. Or the truth is I felt like 194 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,240 Speaker 1: I had it. I think that's what triggered me so hard, 195 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: as I felt like I had it and lost it. 196 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: But life is not linear, right, So it's like, just 197 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,680 Speaker 1: because some of the stuff went away or it's in 198 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 1: a downward slump right now, doesn't mean I can't build 199 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: it back up or that it won't come back up. 200 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,559 Speaker 1: Life is just it's like a corkscrewp. Yeah, And now 201 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: you're sort of in a place where you're unencumbered by 202 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: a lot of ship, so you can Why do you 203 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: use big words to me all the time. It's so annoying. 204 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: I want to addiction. Um No, you just don't, Like 205 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: you're not managing people. You don't have this office that 206 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: you have to worry about, so you're kind of free 207 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: to like invent what your next step is without being 208 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: encumbered by like the issues that come along with those things. Well, 209 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: and that's that's actually the bigger point for me, is 210 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: that I have realized since some of this stuff has 211 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 1: left my life, that some of it actually wasn't serving me, 212 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:30,319 Speaker 1: nor did I enjoy it anyway. It was like this 213 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 1: thing I was doing because I just was literally moving 214 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:36,079 Speaker 1: through life so fast without thinking, and like, sure, that 215 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: sounds like a good next step. Sure that money sounds 216 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: good right now, so let me do that or say 217 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: yes to all these things. And before I knew it, 218 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: I was just going through the motions of so many 219 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 1: business things that we're not true to who I am. 220 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: And so even though right now maybe I don't have 221 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: the clear direction, I think I'm starting to navigate through 222 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 1: things that are just a little more true to actually 223 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: who I am, what I want to bring to this world, 224 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: the community, and trying to build with velvet's edge, you know, 225 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: and just really trying to get more in line with 226 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: my truth right right. That's my word, Remember, God, from 227 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 1: my attention setting class or whatever workshop we did together 228 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: was truth and just owning my truth. And my truth 229 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 1: right now is that I'm proud of my friend and 230 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: have something to aspire to. That's amazing. What's a great update? Thanks? 231 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: What's yours? Well, I mean it's like now, I feel 232 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: like mine sort of sounds trivial, um, and it's not 233 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,079 Speaker 1: really an update. Well I do have a real update. So, um, 234 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,120 Speaker 1: I'm part of this thing called leadership music Yeah, um, 235 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: which is generally a last about a year. It's there's 236 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: a forty or fifty of us in a class and 237 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 1: it happens every year, but we happen to be in 238 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 1: a class that got interrupted by the pandemic. And it's 239 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 1: something that meets every month and it's made up of 240 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: I've talked about it's made up of people across all 241 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 1: sort of facets of our industry. And um, we had 242 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: like two more months and then our graduation to go 243 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:01,840 Speaker 1: and it got sidelined and so we've actually been in 244 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: it for an extra year because they decided not to 245 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 1: like sort of source a new a new class and UM, 246 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: so we're graduating on Friday and we have to do UM. 247 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: We had have to do like a a year you know, 248 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: a graduation project, and it normally is a skit that 249 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:22,079 Speaker 1: we would we would be at a retreat for the closing. Well, no, 250 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,079 Speaker 1: we're not doing a skit now because we we are 251 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: are graduation is still going to be on zoom because 252 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: there's some people that are in Los Angeles and we've 253 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: got people in Ohio and so they can't travel in 254 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: for it. So they they re leaved us of the 255 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: responsibility of having to do um a skit I was 256 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: we were, I mean, our skit was gonna be amazing Um. 257 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: But so what we decided to do is they told us, like, 258 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 1: you know, may do something shorter, like you can literally 259 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,320 Speaker 1: be as easy as like everyone just sort of say 260 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 1: why they loved being on this, or write a poem 261 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,440 Speaker 1: or a haikup or whatever. So our group decided that 262 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: we were going to write a song and um, and 263 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 1: because like everyone's busy and a little bit over the 264 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: whole process, we decided that we were going to take 265 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: an existing song and just rewrite the lyrics. So, um, 266 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: I can say what it is because as you know, 267 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 1: it will be done by the time this airs. But 268 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: we decided to do I've had the time of my 269 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 1: life from Dirty Dancing and um. One of the guys 270 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 1: in my group is like a super producer named Ron Fair, 271 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: and you know he did Christina Aguilera. He did. It's 272 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: funny because I threw this song out knowing he might 273 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: still have the tracks for it. Um. He did A 274 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 1: Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton make My Way Downtown. I 275 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,400 Speaker 1: mean he he basically saved her career because the record 276 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 1: that she had made, the label was like, we can't 277 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: do anything with this, and then he stepped in. He 278 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 1: he's done the Black Eyed Peas, like, I mean, there's 279 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: not enough space on the walls for his plots like 280 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: Lady Gagas ship, Like I mean, it's crazy. So we 281 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: went to his studio yesterday and the poor guy, so 282 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: he you know, I'm I'm sort of the ring leader, 283 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: like was like, I'll get all of this done. And 284 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: it's like hurting fucking cats because you know not everyone's 285 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 1: like busy again, like we're working that these are all 286 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 1: working professionals, and you know some people are like one 287 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,360 Speaker 1: of the guys is on vacation. He quit his job. 288 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: He's spending two months in Hawaii, and I'm like burning 289 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 1: him with like hey, you gotta join. And I'm also 290 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 1: like throwing I made a Google doc for the lyrics. 291 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 1: I'm like going and edit it. Then you've participated, like 292 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: we don't all have to do the same amount of work. 293 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 1: Like I get it. But Ron, who was our producer, 294 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,400 Speaker 1: was like not responding and so I had to like 295 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 1: ride him about it. And when I finally got him 296 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 1: on the phone yesterday morning, when we hadn't scheduled the time, 297 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 1: he was like, yeah, I know I told you this, 298 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 1: but like my house got hit by lightning and I 299 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 1: was like, Nope, you hadn't told me that his house 300 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,200 Speaker 1: literally had gotten hit by lightning. Hole in the roof, 301 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: fried everything electronic from the alarm system to the sprinkler 302 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: system to his refrigerator, until it has to replace everything, 303 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: anything that's wired, anything that was plugged and got destroyed, 304 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 1: and like hole in the roof that he fell through, 305 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: like so um. But we we got to We finally 306 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: got together yesterday and it was a really fun to 307 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:14,240 Speaker 1: see everybody and be incredibly a nerve wracking did you sing, yes, 308 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 1: we all have to. We we made the women go 309 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: first because it's a super producer, you know, like well, right, 310 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 1: there were only there's there were only two of myself 311 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,360 Speaker 1: and one other guy were able to be there present, 312 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: Like we had some people that we had on Zoom 313 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: that were just kind of in the room with so 314 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: much rather be on zoom in that situation because you 315 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: have the battery, have to participate. They I mean, they 316 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 1: are going to send voice notes that you can do 317 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,120 Speaker 1: it in your own What is he going to autitution you? 318 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 1: So you have to get us a copies that we 319 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: can play a little like blurb of it maybe next 320 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 1: week or something. I'm dying I'm making cover art for 321 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 1: it right now. So it's also what you couldn't go 322 00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 1: to dinner with me last night? So but it was 323 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 1: really fun and it was like talk about stepping outside 324 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 1: of our comfort zone, like you know, this person produces 325 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 1: Christina Aguilera and he's like, no wrong octave and he 326 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: was like he was, we got to win, and that's 327 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: how he produced. And the funny thing is is when 328 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 1: we showed up, like you could tell it was literally 329 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: the last thing ron Fair wanted to be doing. Like 330 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 1: I think it's a huge hole and you've got no 331 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: electronics at all, and you're like, can you produce this 332 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 1: song for us? Yeah, he's just like hip basically like 333 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,480 Speaker 1: wasn't speaking and he I had said he had told 334 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: me in the morning, like send me the link to 335 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: it on Spotify, the like karaoke track and I'll just 336 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 1: rip it and then we'll just use that. Well he 337 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: hadn't even done that, so it was like when we started, 338 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 1: when we arrived, he just sort of dove into that 339 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 1: and was trying to figure it out and like he 340 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: was just annoyed. But then once we started, like the 341 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 1: women are in there and he's like they sing the 342 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: first line, he goes, and there's a thing in a 343 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: studio called to talk back, So it's a button that 344 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: he can press. So the people in the studio, which 345 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 1: you know, they're isolated so they're not getting outside sound. 346 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 1: I can hear what he says, and he just goes, 347 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: you can do better the first thing. It's like running again, 348 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,719 Speaker 1: do better get the note next time? And he's just 349 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: like boom boom boom, knocking it out. I'm not a singer. 350 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 1: Look at each other like, what the fun. So by 351 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: the time we got in there, we had been able 352 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,640 Speaker 1: to practice the phrasing on the song because it's weird. 353 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 1: You're like, everyone knows that song and you're so used 354 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,720 Speaker 1: to the actual lyrics and we were trying to say 355 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: funny things and like playing with the syllables and stuff. 356 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: What's the song again? Already I had the time of 357 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: my life and Barnie dancing, so anyway, that was really fun. 358 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: It was really great to see everybody. I think that 359 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: we need to save your next update for next week 360 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 1: now because we have to go. I'm looking at the time, 361 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 1: but um, that is actually amazing and I really want 362 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: you to next week bring the other tip that you 363 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,160 Speaker 1: brought and I want you to get us a copy 364 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:58,239 Speaker 1: of that song please. I mean, we really only care 365 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 1: about your part, all right. What if you sound like 366 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 1: like te pain or something he was like ship was 367 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,159 Speaker 1: so bad? Let me like or itunaz What if it 368 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:16,439 Speaker 1: sounds amazing? That's not Oh my god. Okay, So the 369 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: topic for this week you actually sent me earlier today, 370 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: and um, I didn't think about this at all. Really, 371 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,719 Speaker 1: we've talked a lot about dating during the pandemic, and 372 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,880 Speaker 1: we've had a couple of friends getting serious relationships during 373 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,440 Speaker 1: the pandemic, Which do you think a lot of people 374 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: realize like, hey, I'm ready for a relationship, or like 375 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: the loneliness factor of being isolated in your house made 376 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 1: you really kind of put yourself out there in a 377 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: way maybe you wouldn't have pre covid um. So we've 378 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 1: talked about that a lot, and I think that was 379 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: a lot of the feedback that we got from people. 380 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: But you said, what about dating post pandemic? I mean 381 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: I don't think it's over, by the way, Like, I mean, 382 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: we're still dealing. A lot of places are still locked down, 383 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,440 Speaker 1: but in Nashville specifically, a lot of stuff is open 384 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: to back up on two days. Yeah, everything opens up, 385 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,639 Speaker 1: reopens full capacity, and so yeah, and I think with 386 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: a vaccine situation happening, people are feeling a little more 387 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 1: comfortable to get out and all of those things. And 388 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 1: so you said, but has sex and dating changed forever? 389 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,560 Speaker 1: So I googled it because I was just curious, wondering 390 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: if this was even a thing at all, And there 391 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 1: was a ton of articles that fully came up. Um, 392 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 1: a lot of people were talking about that they have 393 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: gotten I should say too. I also asked on my 394 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: Instagram if people had dealt with this specifically. And so 395 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,199 Speaker 1: I have some d ms from listeners that gave us 396 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 1: their feedback from personal experience of what was going on. Um, 397 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,919 Speaker 1: I'm looking for one from jam because the loneliness factor 398 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: was actually a real deal thing, Like, it was something 399 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,640 Speaker 1: that hit a lot of people. I told you, like 400 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:54,680 Speaker 1: my relationship helped me. I think that was like isolating 401 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,159 Speaker 1: with my boyfriend and his kids. I was like, I 402 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: don't know, I think I would have handled the whole 403 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,639 Speaker 1: pandemic differently had I not been in a relationship. Um. 404 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: This came from Jane and she said, I've been single 405 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:09,360 Speaker 1: the whole time before the pandemic. During the pandemic and now, 406 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 1: and all I'll say is that people move or people 407 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,719 Speaker 1: are a lot more forward in public and an apps. 408 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: I don't think they do sex differently, but everyone now 409 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 1: since the pandemic, just wants interactions, so they go for 410 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,200 Speaker 1: it way more. The only thing about sex being different 411 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: I could think about is that maybe guys don't last 412 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 1: as long, but I think it just depends on the guy. 413 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 1: What do you think about that ship? I mean, you're 414 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:36,400 Speaker 1: the one doing well. I mean I haven't really had 415 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 1: the chance to experiment with that many people. UM, I 416 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,239 Speaker 1: don't know, Like I do think that they're going to 417 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 1: be UM. And you know, a lot of the articles 418 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: that I read about this topic was people's fear was 419 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,440 Speaker 1: about being just being out of practice, and I don't 420 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 1: think that necessarily UM is just about the sexual part 421 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: of it, but just to interactive interacting. Yeah, it's like, well, 422 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,639 Speaker 1: a lot of people have said I don't even know 423 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 1: how to talk to a human anymore. I think there's 424 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety. Yeah, that's so interesting because dating 425 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 1: in general is super intimidating and like especially going on 426 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: first dates over and over, Like if you're on an app, 427 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: or whatever. Like, I'm sure you get good at it 428 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 1: when you're doing it a lot, but what if you 429 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: have been isolated in your house doing zoom calls and 430 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,439 Speaker 1: then you're like, oh, ship, we're actually going to go 431 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: have dinner now, and what do I do well? I mean, 432 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 1: first of all, it is a massive investment to be 433 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: a single person that wants to date, and it is 434 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 1: putting making it a priority to find a partner. It's 435 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 1: a financial, it's an emotional, it's time. There's a lot 436 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 1: of investment. And I think, you know, basically based on 437 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 1: a lot of the research that I did for this, 438 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 1: the the one thing that was sort of the through 439 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 1: line is that people are going to waste less time 440 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: when it comes to dating. Actually read that they're going 441 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 1: to um, They're going to come out with guns blazing 442 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 1: on first dates and they're going to sort of get 443 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 1: to the crux of whether or not like this is 444 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: a match and if there's any compatibility. And I think 445 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: it's going to turn a lot of people off. It's 446 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,400 Speaker 1: gonna make a lot of people seem like they're kind 447 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 1: of crazy, But like, why waste time? Like we've we've 448 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 1: an entire year of everyone's life plus has been wasted. 449 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: So it's like nobody's got time to waste anymore. Well, 450 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: haven't you found that in general? Actually, I have a 451 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 1: quote from Harper's Bazaar I want to read in a second, 452 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: because they were talking about just that. But haven't you 453 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:30,640 Speaker 1: found that in general? About and all the divisiveness has happened, 454 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,679 Speaker 1: just in general with relationships for me, with friendships, with 455 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: any sort of relationship, if it's not serving you, I'm like, 456 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,679 Speaker 1: I'm not wasting my time. I'm on it anymore because 457 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,439 Speaker 1: life is too short. I want my life to be 458 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 1: full and free and loving and kind. And this is 459 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 1: where like I can just look at certain relationships and 460 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 1: and I don't want to do the bullshit like surface 461 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: ship anymore. I want to have real, true intimate relationships. Well, 462 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 1: you know, let's take something like children for example. Normally, 463 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,959 Speaker 1: like if you brought up on the first date, like 464 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: I want to have kids, Yeah, someone would be like, 465 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,359 Speaker 1: slow the fuck down, dude, Like we're not there yet. 466 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: But if that is something that is incredibly important to 467 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: you by all means, I feel like it should now 468 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: it should be brought up on a first date. Because 469 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,720 Speaker 1: if that's not if you're not on the same page 470 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,879 Speaker 1: about it, then why waste your time? Um? And I 471 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,919 Speaker 1: just think that, you know, coming out of this, everyone 472 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 1: has such a different appreciation of their time that it 473 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: doesn't seem crazy anymore. Yeah. So this article out of 474 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 1: Red and Harper's Bazaar said, what I've seen is how 475 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:42,960 Speaker 1: precious dates are, agree with psychotherapist Lucy Beresford. Prior to 476 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 1: the pandemic, we knew we could hook up with five 477 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,800 Speaker 1: to ten people a week. I'm that as absurd holy 478 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 1: slitsa okay, but we knew we could hook up with 479 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: five to ten people a week if we really wanted to. 480 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,919 Speaker 1: Now everything feels more precious. I've noticed that a lot 481 00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 1: of people are taking more time to have those meeting 482 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: full zoom or what's app chats, to really put the 483 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,240 Speaker 1: time or effort in to know that if they're going 484 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,439 Speaker 1: to see this person, that they are not going to 485 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 1: waste any time. People are saying, I've got to take 486 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: my choices seriously about who has been my dates with. 487 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,159 Speaker 1: They're less willing to put up with people who are 488 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,200 Speaker 1: going to start ghosting or with any red flags. People 489 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 1: are being just much more picky, more judicious about their 490 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 1: choices of who to date, right, I mean, it's why 491 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,200 Speaker 1: waste time At this point, I even saw some mentions 492 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,959 Speaker 1: of like, you know, I can hear eyes rolling with 493 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: me saying this, and even I don't know that I 494 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:38,200 Speaker 1: would do it, but um, we've all become so accustomed 495 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 1: to like video conference, Like it's something that we're a 496 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 1: lot more comfortable with than we were pre pandemic. You know, 497 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 1: we might FaceTime your best friends or your family or whatever, 498 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: but we're so used to that that sort of interaction 499 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 1: now that some people are recommending that, like if there's 500 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: someone that you think you might really be interested in, 501 00:24:55,280 --> 00:25:00,359 Speaker 1: have a video chat first, because effort to like go 502 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 1: get a new outfit and get all done up and 503 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,119 Speaker 1: like go spend money on a dinner and traveling or 504 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: whatever it is. Plus it opens the door to like 505 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,400 Speaker 1: what we've talked about, like maybe I should be looking 506 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,639 Speaker 1: to date somebody in Chicago or Los Angeles or New 507 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,240 Speaker 1: York where it's like maybe I'm more compatible with people 508 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 1: in bigger cities, right, So that then opens the possibility 509 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 1: for that too. It's almost like the new version of 510 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,119 Speaker 1: let's grab a coffee totally let's do a zoo And 511 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,880 Speaker 1: it's like you can literally be like connectivity issues. Gotta 512 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:35,679 Speaker 1: go buy you know, frozen. Sorry my wife, I just 513 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 1: went out. Yeah, it's so interesting because um, I was 514 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,640 Speaker 1: reading a lot about just the factors that we're talking 515 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,239 Speaker 1: about about. You don't waste your time either, and so 516 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:48,440 Speaker 1: like in this last year, everything was so divisive, right, 517 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: like it was so controversial. There were so many different 518 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 1: political statements happening so much, so much like with the 519 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 1: racism stuff, the pandemic in general of vaccine, are you 520 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,119 Speaker 1: going to get vaccinated? And I actually don't know that 521 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 1: that's going to change. And what I was reading about 522 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,920 Speaker 1: with these articles with it was saying that you know, 523 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: during the pandemic and now after a big portion of 524 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: what you start to ask people very early on, like 525 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 1: what you're saying about hard questions at first is like 526 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 1: how serious did you take the pandemic? Because that is 527 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: such an interesting factor, Like would that relationship ever work 528 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 1: if you took the pandemic very seriously and you felt 529 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,200 Speaker 1: a certain way about it. Then you met someone who 530 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,159 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, this isn't a thing, this is uh, 531 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 1: you know, and they had the Q and on type 532 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 1: like mindset or whatever, like that might be something that 533 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 1: immediately nixes this relationship, whereas in the past, I don't 534 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,159 Speaker 1: know that, like I wasn't bringing up political issues on 535 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 1: a first date. No, never. It's funny. One of the 536 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,920 Speaker 1: HoTT I saw and one of the articles that said, 537 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,080 Speaker 1: like one of the hottest like headlines now in dating 538 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,800 Speaker 1: apps is like whether or not you're vaxed? Yeah, then 539 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,879 Speaker 1: one of the hottest pickup lines is I'm vaccinated. I 540 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 1: read that same article that the New York Times. Can 541 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 1: you imagine instead of like you like walk up and 542 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 1: you're like, hey, what's your sign and you're like, hey, 543 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:12,199 Speaker 1: are you vaccinating, it's like, apparently that syringe emoji is 544 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:16,399 Speaker 1: like getting a lot of use. I read that on 545 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 1: Tender Bumble, Like a lot of people, a lot of 546 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,680 Speaker 1: the profiles now mentioned that, like that is one of 547 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 1: the first things people mention, is I'm vaxed, or like 548 00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,119 Speaker 1: I'm not going to get vaxed, because either way, like 549 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: you're probably gonna find your person based off of their 550 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,439 Speaker 1: mentality about that kind of stuff. Yeah, I mean, I 551 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 1: think it's it's sort of like it tells a lot 552 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 1: about who you are fundamentally, and it's fine, we all 553 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,199 Speaker 1: should be different, and but I think we should just 554 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,479 Speaker 1: be upfront about it. But also don't you feel like 555 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 1: maybe this was just me, But in the past, I 556 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 1: could have probably filed someone and been like, oh, it's 557 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 1: not that big of a deal, Like we think different politically, 558 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,640 Speaker 1: but like he's so great on this level, in this level, 559 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,400 Speaker 1: in this level, whereas now I'm like, if you think 560 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 1: a certain way politically, like in that I'm not going 561 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,199 Speaker 1: to say, I'm not saying which way either way, but 562 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: like it's so divided in the last year. But to me, 563 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,919 Speaker 1: it also, like you said, talks about the foundation of 564 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: a person and what's important to them, these factors that 565 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: maybe in the past we would have just pushed to 566 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,120 Speaker 1: the side and gone, it's not that big of a deal. 567 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, no, this shows me the kind 568 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: of human you are. And like I disagree, and I can't. 569 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 1: That's not how I want to live my life. Politics is. 570 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: I mean, it's not just been the last year, but 571 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,159 Speaker 1: I think the last year, you know, there have been 572 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 1: so many more layers added to politics. Um, And you 573 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 1: know politics over the last five years, has it just changed? Um? 574 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: I do think that like it it becomes a really 575 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: important ingredient in a relationship. So I have to read 576 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: this message from Sergio. This goes back to the I'm 577 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: vaccinated being the number one pickup line. So when I 578 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,040 Speaker 1: asked on Instagram, I just said, like, do you guys 579 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: have y'all had any experiences as the pandemic sort of 580 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: wines on our isolation wines down that have been interesting 581 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: or odd. So I got this message from Sergio. He said, yes, 582 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 1: I went on a couple of hinge dates and we 583 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 1: hit it off one night. Things heated up and sex happened, 584 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 1: but she only wanted it if we both wore face shields. 585 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 1: That's my Corona sex story. I go, I'm dead, did 586 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 1: you do it? And he goes, of course I did. 587 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: She's awesome and gorgeous, but I can't lie. It did 588 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 1: have a weird hospital vibe to it, and we did 589 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 1: laugh at each other looking look like looking at each 590 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 1: other during it. Could you imagine your buttass naked? You 591 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: can't kiss, but your buttass naked and your butt for 592 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: your face shield. It's like wearing socks to have sex. 593 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:43,640 Speaker 1: So what if this becomes some weird like, um, what's 594 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: the word? Uh? Why is my brain freezing? Where people 595 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: like foot fetish of fetish fetish fetish. What if this 596 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: becomes some weird fetish and people like only or like 597 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: a face shield or a mask, what if that's a thing. 598 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 1: I have a hard time believing it will be. I mean, 599 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: it's funny to think about. There was another girl she 600 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 1: was talking about. She went on a date. Um, this 601 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 1: is from Bethany, and she said, I had I had 602 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,959 Speaker 1: my first post COVID date last night, just drinks at 603 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 1: a bar. But I totally wasn't feeling him. We had 604 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 1: to put mass back on when we got up and left, 605 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: so I kept mind on to prevent the good night 606 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: kiss kiss perks in the mask. There you go. So 607 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 1: see it's not all bad. That makes more sense to me. Yeah, 608 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,320 Speaker 1: I can see it. I mean you can work for 609 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 1: you if you really want to use it. Speaking of masks, 610 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 1: and this is a little bit off topic, but do 611 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 1: you think you'll continue to use one? I'm so over it. 612 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 1: But yeah, so I've had COVID and I'm double vaxed, 613 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: so there's a part of me that feels like bulletproof. 614 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: But then you know, like I am not dumb, and 615 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 1: like there you can still get it. I mean, like 616 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 1: you know, flu susing next year. No, absolutely not the second. 617 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 1: I don't have to wear this ship anymore. I'm like 618 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,640 Speaker 1: so over it. It's so annoying to me. I went 619 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,040 Speaker 1: to Florida, to the beach, you know, and like it, 620 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 1: like it's like COVID never existed there. It's so bizarre. 621 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 1: But people don't. They go in the grocery, they go 622 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,400 Speaker 1: in all these places and they don't wear a mask. 623 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: And so like I got to the point by the 624 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: end of the trip where I just forgot to put 625 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,680 Speaker 1: it on. But it was very freeing and I really 626 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: missed really interesting because, like I said, on Friday, Nashville 627 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 1: opens back up, and I think, like they're still recompensed. Oh, 628 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 1: it's just not required. It's not required. Yeah, yeah, that 629 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: could be wrong about that. Yeah, that's going to be 630 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 1: really tough because I really really feel over it. I'm 631 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: already seeing people out and about like not wearing their mask. Um. 632 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,320 Speaker 1: The other factor of this dating stuff is people who 633 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 1: were already in a relationship are married, and they did 634 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 1: say a couple of people said that their sex life 635 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: got better or more interesting during the pandemic because either 636 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: you were at home with kids and you had to 637 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 1: get more, um, like spontaneous, or you had to do 638 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 1: it in different places to keep it a secret, or 639 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 1: you just like I wanted to have more sex because 640 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,800 Speaker 1: you were at home. Yeah, it went both ways though, 641 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 1: because there was a couple of people who said that, 642 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: like this one came from um Dane and she said, well, 643 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:11,040 Speaker 1: she actually said the opposite. She said, can't wait to 644 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 1: hear the edge on Friday. For me, sex has slowed 645 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 1: down since things are opening back up. Okay, so yeah, 646 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,680 Speaker 1: she was saying this. I mean, we're not stuck in 647 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 1: the house any longer, so it kind of makes sense. 648 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 1: I can't say I'm loving the drop off the not 649 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 1: gonna lie. I kind of liked the extra alone time 650 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,120 Speaker 1: and attention during quarantine because you don't have all the 651 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 1: I mean I felt that like we were at home, 652 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,840 Speaker 1: our schedules were the same, like it was just easier 653 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 1: to have more sex. Um. But the other factor was 654 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: a lot of people. And this is actually from Kelly. 655 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: She is um a sex and dating therapist, and she 656 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 1: messaged me and said, it's been interesting because I've had 657 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: a lot of people come in because their sex lives 658 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,720 Speaker 1: in their relationships have declined due to stress of the 659 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 1: last year. Um, and just like you're having way more 660 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,320 Speaker 1: sex and or I guess like everyone being at home 661 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: meeting kid to like it can put a factor in it. 662 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: She said. The birthrate has declined by four percent, so 663 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 1: it's the lowest it's ever been in the US in 664 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: like twenty years or something. I would have thought there 665 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: would have been more babies. Everyone was predicting that. Remember, 666 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,479 Speaker 1: everyone was saying like quarantine baby or COVID babies, and 667 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,200 Speaker 1: that isn't true at all. Like maybe it's also like 668 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,240 Speaker 1: the financial responsibility of that was weighing on people and 669 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: said they didn't do it. But yeah, she said, I've 670 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 1: seen married couples have way less sex due to stress 671 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 1: and fatigue. Single clients mostly have felt too stressed to 672 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 1: be creative and flexible to date, So it actually goes 673 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: both ways. It's interesting. Well, I think this is really interesting. 674 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 1: I want to hear more stories if you guys have them, 675 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 1: So you can slide into my d M s on 676 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,880 Speaker 1: Velvet's Edge. Actually you're gonna be very impressed by mean chip. 677 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: I did this secretly my assistant. We have a new 678 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: email address. It's called the Edge at velvet edge dot com. 679 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,840 Speaker 1: So you guys, please start sending us messages there. It's 680 00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 1: the Edge at Velvet edge dot com and we always 681 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 1: love your feedback. We want your stories, dating stories. We 682 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 1: want to hear dating stories and especially if you have 683 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,240 Speaker 1: any on this topic. This post Corona New dating Stories. 684 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: Chip is like also going through this process, so I 685 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:17,200 Speaker 1: know he wants some tips and whatever. Um also too. 686 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,239 Speaker 1: I wanted just to mention something that I found when 687 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 1: I was reading. I'd never heard of this, so if 688 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 1: anyone's used it, There's a new dating app called Dharma 689 00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,880 Speaker 1: that was It's d A R M A and was um. 690 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 1: It was created by sex therapist and it's UM. It 691 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,799 Speaker 1: says it allows people to connect while also offering the 692 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 1: opportunity to receive confidential feedback enclosure. So it says if 693 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,479 Speaker 1: a single if a single person provides a cell phone 694 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 1: number for their date via the app, Dharma will follow 695 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,200 Speaker 1: up for feedback with a series of pre selected options 696 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: ranging from your dates table manners, to punctuality, to their 697 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: attire and their personal hygiene. There's even a handy closure 698 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,320 Speaker 1: button that allows you to fire off a pre selected 699 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,080 Speaker 1: note rather than a ghost to somebody. So it's like 700 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,439 Speaker 1: it's one I guess you know, lots of people said 701 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: one of those problems with these apps is that you 702 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 1: don't get any feedback, Like you might talk to somebody 703 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: and then they just like block you and they're gone, 704 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,719 Speaker 1: which is what makes dating so hard. Anyway, you just 705 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,279 Speaker 1: start to get in your head and you're like, is 706 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,480 Speaker 1: it needed us say something? But what wasn't? Where was 707 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:25,120 Speaker 1: the misconnection? Yeah? And this actually gives feedback. Okay, Well, 708 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 1: so if you guys know anything about this app, or 709 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,200 Speaker 1: if anyone's try to email us at the edge at 710 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 1: Velvet's edge dot com. I'm I'm curious. I've never even 711 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,280 Speaker 1: heard of it. You might have to do a social experience. 712 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,799 Speaker 1: Might download it tonight and see what it's like. Okay, 713 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,600 Speaker 1: we're going to do your page all right, you still 714 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 1: need to do that. You can update all of musty. Okay, 715 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:44,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, and then I'm gonna read it 716 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: on here. Don't you think we should read it before 717 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:54,000 Speaker 1: and after I'll do a dramatic reading. Okay, Well, so 718 00:35:54,120 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 1: for our listen already from our listener email this week. Um, 719 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 1: it's actually was a d M and I was like, 720 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,480 Speaker 1: this is the one we're going to read ship So 721 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,960 Speaker 1: I messaged you earlier and I was like, are you 722 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 1: open to feedback right now? Do you feel willing and 723 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,560 Speaker 1: able to receive and not take criticism harshly? And you 724 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,719 Speaker 1: were like, bring it all okay. So I got a 725 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:21,520 Speaker 1: message from this lady names Susan. Also it's so interesting 726 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: because and I actually like, I don't feel like she's 727 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,399 Speaker 1: a troll. I don't actually really care, but um, it's 728 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 1: always interesting when someone was zero followers and zero in 729 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 1: following zero people messages you because you're like, are you 730 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 1: really Susan like or are you like someone just like 731 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,040 Speaker 1: from my past life trying to funk with me? But 732 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:41,480 Speaker 1: we got this message from Susan and she says, straight up, 733 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:47,560 Speaker 1: hope the podcasts get better. They're falling off. Like I 734 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,920 Speaker 1: literally opened the DM and I was like, oh whoa 735 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,919 Speaker 1: interesting okay, and I said, ouch, what do you mean? 736 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 1: She said, the podcast are getting boring, not trying to 737 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 1: be disrespectful, which is also interesting. What were you trying 738 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:04,759 Speaker 1: to be? Is? Well? I hope, I hope it was helpful. Well, 739 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,760 Speaker 1: she said, and you know, here's the deal, we actually 740 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,399 Speaker 1: do want this feedback, and I think we do want 741 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,439 Speaker 1: to hear if you guys are loving it or hating it, 742 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: like I actually want to know. I'm not at all 743 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,399 Speaker 1: putting this off. But she said, I said, which ones 744 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,120 Speaker 1: of them like? Because I don't know if she's talking 745 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 1: about the velvet side of things or just this edge 746 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,839 Speaker 1: podcast at this point. Um, And she said, I said, 747 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:28,359 Speaker 1: like the ones with Chip or the others. And she said, well, 748 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,520 Speaker 1: I was referring to with Chip only because he never 749 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 1: seems ready. I feel like the time has wasted on 750 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,760 Speaker 1: him fucking around. I don't know, hard to completely explain, 751 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 1: but I find myself listening only when I have nothing 752 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,759 Speaker 1: else to listen to. I wonder if she's gonna listen 753 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,239 Speaker 1: to this one, but I do listen and I so 754 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,000 Speaker 1: I said, gotcha, we'll work on it. Thanks for the feedback. 755 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: And so I messaged you and I said, listen like 756 00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 1: you know, she's not She's not wrong, she's not wrong, 757 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 1: And that's what I said. Let's take this with a 758 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:56,719 Speaker 1: grain of salt and not get in our heads like, 759 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 1: oh my god, we suck. But you and I have 760 00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,120 Speaker 1: both both also said we could be more prepared than 761 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: we have been the last I don't know for a minute, 762 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 1: maybe a couple of couple episodes and in our defense 763 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 1: specifically my defense too, um, just in this case. But 764 00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: this is a one take thing, like we we do 765 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,959 Speaker 1: not edit this, um. So it is what you hear 766 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,359 Speaker 1: is what comes up at the table. And oftentimes when 767 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:28,160 Speaker 1: I am unprepared. UM. And that's not to say every time, 768 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,279 Speaker 1: because there are moments where you know, we all have 769 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,040 Speaker 1: our moments, but there are often moments where we'll take 770 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,400 Speaker 1: a tangent and we'll start talking about something that I 771 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,200 Speaker 1: don't know shit about, or I'll say something and I'm like, wait, 772 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:39,879 Speaker 1: I don't know if that was true, and then I'll 773 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:44,759 Speaker 1: try and find true and probably what I need to 774 00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,920 Speaker 1: do is just like let it ride, and if there 775 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: are those moments, maybe we write them down and then 776 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,880 Speaker 1: do a follow up the next week so we're not boring. 777 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,280 Speaker 1: The last thing I want is people to be bored, 778 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,279 Speaker 1: like because that's a waste of And the other thing 779 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: that we said, and this also isn't an excuse. It 780 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,239 Speaker 1: was just like, oh, this is why we have said 781 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,960 Speaker 1: we need to like prep these topics way ahead of time, 782 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:08,680 Speaker 1: and a lot of times we try to wait because 783 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,359 Speaker 1: this podcast is a little more current and topical, like 784 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,880 Speaker 1: it's like what's happening in the world right now, and 785 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 1: so sometimes it's hard, Like if we prep a month 786 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,280 Speaker 1: in advance, we have this certain topic and then something 787 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,799 Speaker 1: huge happens, like the Kardashians quition. I'm just kidding. That 788 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 1: was a joke, guys, that was a joke. But like, 789 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,400 Speaker 1: if something happens where we feel like we need to 790 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,640 Speaker 1: address it, it's happened to that day or something, and 791 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,759 Speaker 1: so we're last minute prepping. We both have full time 792 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: jobs and so um we can have Sometimes we don't 793 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:40,120 Speaker 1: always have exactly the right amount of time to research, 794 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,839 Speaker 1: but that's not an excuse and we can get better. 795 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 1: And I actually appreciated this feedback from season because we 796 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,080 Speaker 1: don't want you guys to be bored. What's the fucking point. Yeah, 797 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,319 Speaker 1: So we we've decided that we're going to start to 798 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,400 Speaker 1: you know, we're gonna get together monthly, plan out each 799 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,799 Speaker 1: week ahead of time so that we can do a 800 00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,440 Speaker 1: proper amount of research. But then we'll still will keep 801 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,800 Speaker 1: the current events injective and if we have to pivot 802 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:08,719 Speaker 1: one pot because something massive happens and we'll pivot. You 803 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,160 Speaker 1: don't know that episode of Friends and it kills me 804 00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:15,839 Speaker 1: pivot Pivot should admit it, but I don't. I've never 805 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,400 Speaker 1: really wanted can you at least why you've already admitted 806 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,719 Speaker 1: that on this podcast, which feels like blasphemy to me, 807 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,280 Speaker 1: but like you should at least go watch that episode 808 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,480 Speaker 1: because it's really funny. They can I find it on YouTube? Like, 809 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,359 Speaker 1: how are you going to ask me where you can find? Friends? 810 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,799 Speaker 1: Why don't you just google it? So I don't want 811 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,360 Speaker 1: to upset Susan recording. Hey, Susan, slide into my d 812 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,360 Speaker 1: M and let me know where I can find that episode. 813 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,840 Speaker 1: And we're back. Okay, I gotta go because I have 814 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,880 Speaker 1: to go to Pure Bar. I gotta go, guys, I 815 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:46,880 Speaker 1: gotta this is yeah, you better go. Um anyway, please 816 00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,799 Speaker 1: email us at the Edge at velvets dot com and 817 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,960 Speaker 1: actually tell us what your feedback is the last couple 818 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,400 Speaker 1: of months. What have you been liking, what have you 819 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 1: been not liking? Where are we dropping the ball? Where 820 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,880 Speaker 1: can we get better? We do want to hear your feedback. 821 00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,839 Speaker 1: We want to talk about the topics you guys love 822 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,439 Speaker 1: did you like it more? And we were just talking 823 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,560 Speaker 1: about sex and dating because that seemed like a lot 824 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,960 Speaker 1: of people had a lot of feedback, so let us 825 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:10,040 Speaker 1: know we're not experts, but we're happy to keep those topics. 826 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:14,839 Speaker 1: Um okay, uh shit, what is that's on? Off? I 827 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:20,400 Speaker 1: remember it? Oh right, right right, I've got to write 828 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 1: this down. Sorry, Susan. Sorry, I know. I'm so sorry, Susan. 829 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. All I can think of is that 830 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,480 Speaker 1: when Houston song my name is not Susan? But how 831 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,799 Speaker 1: does that go? I can't think of the melody right now, 832 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,319 Speaker 1: But it's like it's about like a boyfriend calling her 833 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,440 Speaker 1: Susan and she's like, my name is not my name 834 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,680 Speaker 1: is on Susan? Bitch? Is it Karen? Though? Because they 835 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,520 Speaker 1: feel the same to me, it's so sort of feel 836 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,560 Speaker 1: the same. Okay, I gotta go. Um okay, hey, you 837 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:54,120 Speaker 1: guys always remember no shit tell me? Oh okay, you 838 00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 1: know what you guys going into this weekend when you're 839 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 1: living on the edge. I hope you always remember to 840 00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:02,840 Speaker 1: act at all. I really got to work on that. Okay. Bye. 841 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:05,640 Speaker 1: M