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Speaker 1: The Jewels Show on demand Jebils Dirty Little Secret. Hello there,

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Speaker 1: Hello there, how are you doing. I'm good? How are

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Speaker 1: you not too bad? Thanks for asking? Do you have

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Speaker 1: a dirty little secret? Yeah, it's a dirty big secret,

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Speaker 1: but yeah great, all right. So, um, my little sister

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Speaker 1: just had a baby with one of my friends. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and when she first bashes pregnant, I actually um thoughts

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Speaker 1: with him. Whoa what girlfriend? So now I'm the godmother? Um?

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Speaker 1: So did your your sister obviously doesn't know because it's

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Speaker 1: a dirty big secret. No, no, how did it happen? Um? Well,

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Speaker 1: him and I have been friends since we were like fifteen,

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Speaker 1: and at the time they had just started like hang

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Speaker 1: it out, and um, tequila might have been involved. Oh um,

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Speaker 1: so he Are you worried that he's ever gonna say

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Speaker 1: anything to her? I a little bit, But I also

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Speaker 1: think he him has a bigger sense of self preservation

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Speaker 1: than that. Yeah, what would your sister do she found out?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I might not exist anymore for you?

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Speaker 1: For you? Is he like the one that got away?

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Speaker 1: Do you like him like that? No? We're just friends,

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Speaker 1: that's the thing too. Was it worth it? No? Okay,

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Speaker 1: you passed along. I was like, she's about to be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was absolutely not. And and I can't tell my

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Speaker 1: wife either. So there's that. Oh, oh man, do you

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Speaker 1: have a reality show yet, because you should? No, I

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Speaker 1: don't like an onion? Is there? What else is going

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Speaker 1: on with you? Uh? There's that. I mean, I just

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Speaker 1: I haven't made won't tell anybody. And I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you told. I'm glad you told us. Now you

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Speaker 1: got it off your chest, you can relieve that stress

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Speaker 1: a little bit. And also I'm sure you're stress going like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think he would. I guarantee you that dude

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Speaker 1: is probably never telling your sister. I really hope not,

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Speaker 1: because that's the baby said this weekend. So and if

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Speaker 1: he ever buys you a bottle of tequila for Christmas,

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Speaker 1: give it back to him. Last time that I had tequila,

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Speaker 1: I slammed a nine year old's head in the wall

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Speaker 1: because he wanted to rustle me and I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to lose. Oh my god, tequila makes people do crazy things, right,

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Speaker 1: I didn't mean to slam his head in the wall.

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Speaker 1: You know, tequila kind of you know, perception of time.

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Speaker 1: Either way, he learned his lesson don't mess with Alex

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Speaker 1: when she's ad tequila. Thanks for your dirty little secret.

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Speaker 1: I was drunk off tequila, but I still remember feeling

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Speaker 1: like an idiot, and then I won't passed out at nine.

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Speaker 1: Everybody has that one liquor that they can't drink too

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Speaker 1: much of gets out of control. The last time I

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Speaker 1: really got drunk off whiskey, I sounded drunk right there

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Speaker 1: when I said whiskey off a whiskey. I don't remember

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Speaker 1: too much the evening, but I do remember being on

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Speaker 1: the street corner, no shoes on handcuff, talking to the cops,

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Speaker 1: and all I remember is thinking, where are my shoes.

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Speaker 1: I don't drink like that anymore, but There's been so

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Speaker 1: many times in my life where I'm just woking up

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Speaker 1: in a random bush, wondering how I got there, or

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Speaker 1: on somebody's porch. We're trying to open the door to

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Speaker 1: go to work, and I'm like, you can't sleep here.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, whatever, can't open the door here, I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to sleep. I thought it was bad that I don't

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Speaker 1: necessarily remember all of the Uber ride home somebody else's house.

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Speaker 1: I woke up in a bush in Vegas once, Big

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Speaker 1: Bush with a security guard pulling me out and being like,

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Speaker 1: hey man, you can't sleep here. I was at a

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Speaker 1: diner in La once and I left the table. I

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Speaker 1: went to the little lobby of the diner. I actually

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Speaker 1: took off my shirt, folded it, sat it next to me,

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Speaker 1: sat my shoes next to it, and was sleeping in

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Speaker 1: the lobby area. That's amazing, you know those people watching

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Speaker 1: you do that, something about the folding of the shirt.

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Speaker 1: He woke me up and he's like, dude, you can't

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Speaker 1: sleep in the lot. And I was like, I've folded

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Speaker 1: my shirt. I don't have to fold my shirt when

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Speaker 1: I'm sober. Basically, if I get too drunk, it's just

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Speaker 1: that's what happens. It's like, hey man, can't sleep here.

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Speaker 1: I just sleep places. I feel like whenever you write

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Speaker 1: a book, someday your memoir will be titled you can't

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Speaker 1: sleep here. The Jewel Show on demand