WEBVTT - Ep136: Am I Transphobic? Feat Hope Giselle & Tahoe 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:06.320 All right, you guys, welcome to Horrible Decisions. My name 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:08.559 is Wheezy. Mandy is in l A right now, but 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:11.920 I'm here with two Levely guests. Um, I feel like 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:13.920 I should do some a kas because Mandy. I don't 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:18.040 do a ks, but Mandy does do y'all have an Okay, 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:19.840 I'm gonna try. I know what one of my AK 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:23.320 is going to be today. Well, I'm a self proclaimed imojo, 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:26.760 but you could call me pH Patty spiritual, gangster sensitive thing. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.600 Mrs um what else I got? You definitely have a case. 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:34.199 That's it. Give me another one, Give me one, uh 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:41.599 trouble model good light skin Flynn. I'm calling it light 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:45.080 skin Flynn. I'm done. First of all, I Hope I 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.600 was on your team. Baby. So we got Tahoe in 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.800 the building. If you don't know his boys, um from 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:55.160 the So Shameless podcast, and we have a special guest here, Hope, 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.720 please introduce yourself to the pe was good? He was Goody. 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.400 My name is Hope. This guy to be at the 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:05.039 social media aka both Bitch in Training. Oh, everybody got 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:06.840 a K I gotta I gotta come up with something. 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:08.319 I don't have one because like I just did that 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:11.640 because Mandy and she always dow hers. I got nothing. 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.280 I got nothing. She's Pegg the Stallion. I'm partial. Pegger 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:17.480 might peg might not what we always have to talk 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.400 about Peggan, but that's her anyway, fun the Peggan Today 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:23.119 we aren't talking about Peggan today. Today is a very 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:27.440 special episode, um, because I'm sure it'll be someone in 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:30.600 the title, Um, we have a black trans woman in 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.199 the studio with us. I believe our last trans woman 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:36.480 that came to the studio was Latina, so I'm super excited. 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:37.959 She might have been after Latina. But I'm just super 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:41.119 excited to have Hope here. I met Hope in Tahoe's 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:44.360 Live I g live and they were having a great 0:01:44.400 --> 0:01:47.440 dialogue going, and I'm just really excited for him to 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:50.040 be here because, Um, y'all might be tired of this nigga. 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:52.960 I don't know, you might be, but I feel like 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:56.880 having assists hetero supermask Brooklyn nigga is really vital to 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:00.800 the conversation because men like Tahoe not necessarily like you, 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:02.400 but now you didn't gotta clean it up, I mean 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:06.400 like someone that I mean. It was It was an 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:10.160 interesting live. We started and somebody came on Alive and 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:15.280 was like what is Oh, so their man had sex 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.280 with a dude before or something like that, and it 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:19.600 was like, is that gay? And so I started asking 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:21.639 the followers and one of my dude, he's from Harlem 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:25.880 and he's super hood. Yeah, yeo, that's gay. That's gay. 0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:27.359 Is good. I was like, well, why is it gay? 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.720 If a dude could do it, if it's just one time, 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:32.040 he couldn't have been curious. We went into that. Then 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:35.440 a girl jumped in my homegirl Becca, and she was 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:41.639 super homophobic. It was I'm gonna be respectful when you 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:43.680 come on here, Becca, but I saw her using words 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:48.000 like shim Yeah. She was like she learned from a 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:50.400 lot from Well we spoke after this. She was like, Yo, 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:52.560 you know what I didn't think about things. Yo, we 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:55.720 all need a chance to have learning moments, and a 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:57.800 lot of this stuff we don't have that. Like literally, 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:00.200 people you're around the same type of thinging people all 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.840 the time, there are there's a very little chance for 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.880 you to have learning moments in the same crew. And 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:09.480 that's what today is so important because so many trans 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.399 women are dying and it is probably mean that you've 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:14.480 grown up with look like you can act like you 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:16.400 walk and talk like you. So I think it'll be 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:19.160 great to have this conversation and understand that trains women 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.840 are people. Black trains women are part of our Black 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.160 Lives Matter ship that we tweet about all day long, 0:03:24.400 --> 0:03:25.880 and we just got to make sure that we're not 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:27.959 for the cause and being hypocrites at the same time. 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.560 I do it all the time. I'm talking about everybody, 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:33.079 but I've been trying. So, like I said, I was 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:35.360 talking about it um on my show I Believe and 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:37.000 I told Mouse was there and I was like, yo, 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:38.960 I'm holding phobic and he was like, you are not, 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:40.520 and I was like, yo, I kind of got to 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:43.480 own the fact that my mind still hasn't opened up 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:49.320 to fully understanding, of fully comprehending or fully accepting. But 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:51.480 I feel like you have to. You have to know 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:54.320 yourself on that because that way what you do that 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:55.920 you can say, all right, this is where I'm wrong 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:58.520 and that's where I want to be. But it's not 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.840 as easy just to say because you people still have 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:04.480 homeoph with tendencies. People still think a certain way. I 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:06.440 might be cool with hope, and then when my man 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.800 do something like, yeah, that's mad gay. Like you still 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:12.080 attributing bad to the word gay, you know what I mean? 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:14.720 So they still I mean, don't get me wrong, I've 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:18.120 had slip ups and things like that by like gay 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:21.200 and it's like culturally we say ship like that, but 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:23.880 by no means a by that person. I told a 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:29.600 joke on the show recently, I have gay friends, did you? 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:32.000 I might do that, but I'm not that person. I 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:34.520 go to fucking kind regards. I'm in Brooklyn, it's nine. 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:36.760 It was a heat wave. I think it was a 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:40.080 hundred degrees that night. So these niggas is kissing in 0:04:40.080 --> 0:04:41.880 the club and I was staring at them right and 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:43.680 I'm like, yo, hot, this fun. I can't beleave these 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:48.080 niggas kissing. They're looking at me watch them kiss, and 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:52.400 I'm like, no, no, no, it's not because you're gay. 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:59.360 I have gay friends. I'm totally everything. Just wanted to 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.680 fight me. Know. I felt so bad. No, no, no, 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:05.360 I'm well, but it's literally I like, you don't understand 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:08.600 have gay pride. I was that bit. I felt bad, 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.840 But anyway, let's hump into vanilla ship. Um So this 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.080 week I found this on Twitter. I don't know. If 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.080 you guys know who shann Booty is, do you? She's 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:19.360 a popular sexologist. Um, she's fucking dope. We've had her 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:21.320 on the show. New author of the book Game of 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:25.360 the Desire, she is a sexologist who uses vagina juice 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.680 as perfume and says it's a delicious secret. My ex 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:31.360 uster us has come the same line, where do you 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.960 put it like on his like temples, in the back 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:37.440 of his neck and like right around his hairline? And yes, 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.960 did you want to scream gay? That? I kind of 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:47.200 know when I'm not supposed to say nothing. So when 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:49.599 I saw the headline, I didn't know it's gonna be 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:53.080 my homegirl. But let's see, struggling to attract a mate, 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:56.200 have you considered a new look, maybe learned Spanish? Perhaps 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:58.800 you should just try rubbing pussy juice on your neck. 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.279 Sexologist Shannon Boo Drum claims that people have flocked to 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:05.080 her when she's wearing the bodily fragrance. In order to 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:08.240 test the theory, she had women that she was doing 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.640 a survey with going to a bar to connect with 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:14.120 strangers before gathering. They went into the toilets halfway through 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:17.800 the night. Um, basically to stick their fingers around their 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:20.760 vaginal opening. The goal is to get a sample from 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:26.080 the bartholonans grant ship Shann I'm sorry barthol loon in 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:29.200 glands which are the size of a p but they 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:33.120 play a large role in vaginal lubrication. Um. She concluded, 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:35.280 I'm not sure how effective this is. I'm certain that 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:37.640 every single single time I do, it makes me feel 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:42.760 like an enchanted goddess with a delicious secret. Um. Yeah, 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:44.360 I don't know, but I will tell you they sell 0:06:44.400 --> 0:06:47.200 pheromones in a spray that I just kind of feel like, 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:50.280 all right, you're in the club and you're walking around 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:53.080 smelling like pussy. Of course people are gonna be flocked 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:54.760 to you because you're making them think of fucking like 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:58.120 you smell like pussy. Why wouldn't not be attracted like you? 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:02.039 You're making me thinks. I don't think you distinctly smell. 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:05.360 It's I think it's like you don't know what you're smelling. 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:08.440 It's like almost like when I'm passing by like a 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.880 basketball court, right and I could smell the sweat or 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.920 like I'm it may not mean any smelling dick, but 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:21.480 it's like, oh, it feels I smell something musky, like 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:25.000 there's a I mean, we're fucking animals, nig there's a 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:28.480 difference between must like musty and like, no, no, we 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:32.520 like the not must Wait, you're telling me you don't 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.360 like you've never noticed a woman draw towards you or 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.680 your sweating. Oh yeah, because I look like an animal 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:40.360 at that moment when I'm sweating, I look like I'm 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:45.840 on some Yeah, I still got it in my hands. No, 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:51.720 I just picked my front. We smell of box? Okay, 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:54.560 do you like the smell of pussy? I love box, 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:56.960 but I'm in the I'm actually liking that person at 0:07:56.960 --> 0:07:58.880 the time. Are you one of them niggas that like 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.920 like war smell pus like? I don't. I don't. I 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:04.200 don't know because everybody got their own smells, so I'm 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:06.040 kind of open. I know when it's not supposed to 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:07.880 smell like that, So I'm good on that as long 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.560 as I know what it's not right from fish other 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:17.760 than that shouldn't be fish ass. Things like that smell 0:08:17.840 --> 0:08:20.640 like your ass. Something that smell ass. When the girl 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:24.200 took her drawers off before, what do you do? Do 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:25.840 you ever give a warning like or do you give it, 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:29.040 like the shower. Sometimes you and you're trying to like, 0:08:29.280 --> 0:08:31.840 oh man, because sometimes you don't want to hurt somebody feeling. 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.520 Sometimes you think maybe it's just you, it's just this 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:38.319 kind of but then you realize that it's not right. 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:40.760 Something right and your body, my body, I'm older, my 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:42.920 body reacts like that. It just takes one thing and 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:45.600 I'm off. I'm not coming back. When's the last time 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.600 you had to do it? Say it? Well, that was 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:49.880 the last time it was it was recently. What do 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:53.319 you say? Oh, I don't know, I'm drunk, That's what 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:55.040 I said, because my sip wasn't get hard. You didn't 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:58.559 tell her to shower. No, I don't want to. I 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:01.200 don't want to. Yeah, it's dub and it was it 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:04.000 wasn't my girl, and nobody's just run off. Yeah, so 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:05.480 it's kind of like, all right, this ain't gonna work 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:07.280 for us. Have you had to tell someone they was saying, 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.200 oh yeah, when I was in college, I just told 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:11.679 this story on my my I g lads the other 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.320 day a little pizza. It was like a little piece 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:15.800 of trade. He comes into my room, like I got 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.000 to just getting off of the basketball court, smelling like 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:20.120 straight dicking ass and I was like, oh no, you 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:23.000 gotta go shower, and like Homie was just in his feelings. 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:24.520 He was like, you really going to make me shower? 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.040 Like I think it's like do you want it to 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:29.760 go on my mouth? But that's what I'm saying. Like women, 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:34.680 they're like salt like salt man. That okay, that first 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:38.720 of all, you'll are very unhealthy walking about seasoning period. 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:42.600 But I'm just saying women like especially after basketball, like 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:44.360 you said, they're sweat and all that, they'd be like 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:48.520 I've had a woman, you know moment, but you know, 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:52.000 you know I'm gonna work for sanitation, right women, I've 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:53.640 had women do me like, I want you to come 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:55.800 have sex with me in your uniform? Y'all have this 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.599 most sanitary people in the world. Hold on, hold on, 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:00.520 hold on, hold on. They've said I want to have 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:05.160 some in your garbage. Man has had a message from 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:07.000 a woman that said I want you to suck me 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:09.600 in your uniform? Or did she say I want you 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:13.480 to suck me like in your uniform, Because maybe it's 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:17.200 like a uniform fantasy, right, that's possible. That's possible. It 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:21.439 better not be a garbage. That's the case. Stand outside 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:23.120 on the corner and I said, I said that, like, 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:25.320 that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard in my life. 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:27.719 Let me ask, what's the weirdest thing has something ever 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:31.840 like squirted on you. I've had maggots, roaches all that 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:34.880 ship on me. It's disgusting. It ain't no way they 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.360 pay you a lot though. I kicked the rat one day. 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.200 The rat ran out from under the bag and I 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:42.000 kicked it, and I didn't realize that there was a 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:47.080 car open with the sunroof ship it landed on, so 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.000 rats can't take kicks, so it died like on the way, 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.679 but it landed on the sunroof, like right there with 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:59.280 the dude in the car. He's good. I didn't know. 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.680 I just seen. Oh we've seen a kind of ship. 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:08.080 How long you working for the Deportment Sanitation Um? So 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.000 our King of the week this week, if you guys 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:12.679 have never heard our show, we pick a particular king 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:14.480 that you may never heard of, or you might actually 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:17.320 do yourself. This one is a little weird, but I 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:20.360 actually found it in a porn category. Word. We all 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:25.360 know guns as phallic shaped instruments usually display power It's 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:29.559 no surprise that guns are heavily fetishized, although for obvious reason, 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:33.720 exploring this fetish has an accompanying accompanying degree of risk attached. 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:37.160 There's an endless kidnapping and rate fantasy porn on the 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.520 Internet that features guys and girls being forced into sex 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:46.840 at gunpoint. I'm that's me. I'm in the wait you 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:50.000 said that's me. That's me. Now I'm be weird with you. 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.040 I'm not attractive, like putting no gun on me, but 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:55.680 I do like when nigs like have guns. It makes 0:11:55.679 --> 0:12:07.000 me feel safelous. Give me like, don't give me like 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:08.559 a Trump supporter, like you know what I'm saying, You 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:12.280 got a permit gun, Give me a nig saying that 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:14.320 makes me feel like, oh my god, bibe got me. 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:16.200 But I feel like if you got like went to 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:18.520 school for your gun and did a test, like you 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:20.800 might shoot me and blame it on that ship, you 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:22.120 know what I mean. But like a niggad it just 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:24.160 got his ship. I don't know what it is. You 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:27.280 picked it up from your cousin, baby. And I'm kind 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:30.480 of good on woman because I was playing with a 0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:32.200 woman that said that she was going to pop up 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:34.240 at my crib and so I got a little baby 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.280 gun I found while I was working. So I got 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:38.040 a BB gun and I sent her a picture to 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:40.480 BB gun and she sent me a picture of the 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.760 biggest gun I've ever seen in my life. And she 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.240 was like, you don't want no smoke. I was like, 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:47.320 I felt like I felt like she had a big 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:52.679 addicting Yeah. I I was just kidding, was the biggest 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:56.960 guy and she's just holding this ship. I'm like, what 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:02.400 the I mean? Good though, you send me a gun 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:06.840 talking about I'm not now. I'm from Florida, so like 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:10.240 everybody has a gun where you from Miami? Okay, so 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.120 like everybody has a gun, you know what I'm saying. 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:13.839 But in New York when niggas have I'm like, oh, 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:20.200 that's not legal anything else. That's why I really like 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.560 to go about bote. You know, niggas getting real. Once 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:24.200 I get to like Dike minudte ship, I was like, 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:27.600 this suck ship, like niggas that don't speak English, and 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:29.560 I know they're still like if I don't know what 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:34.600 you're saying and you're still scaring me, that's too much. Um, 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:37.400 So let's deep dive right into it. So first I 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.160 want to start with Chyle, just to see what you 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:44.200 think your orientation, your prone and your pronouns are. Can 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:47.560 you tell us that what do you mean? So that's 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:57.880 what start as far as what okay, what's your sexual orientation? Though? Um, heterosexual? Okay, 0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:05.400 good thinking about sists and stuff like that. So I'm right, 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:10.160 I'm assist gender straighter, hetero sexual black man. These people 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:12.640 used to when they're trying to dispete. We're gonna talk 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:14.120 about that in a minute, because I'm tired of nig 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:16.560 saying that ship it's true. Anytime they're using that, they're 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:22.400 talking down on people. That's another way saying it's bastard use. 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:25.160 That's when they use it on internet they let sick. 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.720 We're gonna talk about why that's problematic, but go ahead, 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.240 Oh what are your pronouns and your sexual orientation? So 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:35.000 she heard hers and I'm paying sexual pan sexual? What 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:38.680 are your How old are you? By the way, six her, 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:44.280 she her, hers, she her hers people. I believe she 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:47.560 her and there's she knows, So day them is a 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:51.880 completely different for comple people. Um, but she her and hers. 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:53.960 It's just like the way you would address somebody in conversation. 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:56.720 So that's right. I went to the movies with her, 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.800 she left her things in my car. That's hers now, 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:02.960 so I'll do she hurt and I'll say they just 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:07.000 piss niggers off. Okay, So not to be offensive. Real question, 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:12.600 if a guy looks at you and no notices that 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:16.120 you are naturally a man, is that the right way 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:17.760 to say it? If you're a man? If he sees 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:20.000 a man when sees you, and he says he when 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:23.040 referring to you, that's offensive. Now. See. I I have 0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:25.400 my own struggle with that when I first started transitioning 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.520 and I was I remember being in a place where 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:30.160 I remember telling my best friend's mom because she made 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:32.280 a mistake one day when we were like having casual conversations. 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:34.480 She's like, yeah, boy, and I was like, no, it's 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:36.160 okay because if that's what you see, and she's like no, 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.400 like and she corrected me, and she's like no, like, 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.240 this is what you're presenting and this is what you're 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.160 gonna grow into, and so I'm gonna respect that. But 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.840 that's always been like a weird line for me because 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:48.840 I'm like, if that is what people see, right, and 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:51.480 they're not being rude, like it's legitimately because with the 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:53.360 way that people are dressing up these days, you don't 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.200 know if it's just like a guy being feminine or 0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:57.880 what anymore. And so it's like, if that's what you see, 0:15:58.040 --> 0:15:59.840 then say like, I think that it's better to just 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.520 recursor it with like they and them and then ask 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:04.880 people or just to be like, what's your name, like 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.040 just to avoid the idea of So I was told 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.600 by a good gay friend of mine, Christopher. He said, 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:16.280 I address people how they're presenting. She has makeup on, 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:23.120 she has long hair, titties, I'm gonna go with. Now 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:25.520 there's that's what I want to talk about. So there's 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.600 a few terms I wrote down that I want to 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.880 kind of dive into and if you can help us, hope. Um. 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.200 Some are slurs like transvestite I've heard years ago. I 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:34.680 don't hear that word anymore, but I want to talk 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.360 about those as well. So can we first discuss um 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:40.160 if you could tell the people gender versus sex? Because 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.800 he said I know her gender, I don't know her. 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:45.400 I'm gonna act like I don't know, but you didn't. 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:47.600 I don't. I don't get none of this. Terms like 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:53.480 even the gender versus sex. So the gender is what 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.280 you are, all right, gender is time presenting. Now, my 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:58.120 sex is what I was assigned at birth. That's like 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:00.320 when I came out, they smacked me on the It's like, 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.080 this is what they said based on what was between 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.760 my legs. And so those are the two different things, 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:07.000 but generous how somebody is presenting right now, So I 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:08.879 can assume that you're a man based off the way 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:10.840 that you're presenting. I consume that Weezy as a woman 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.159 based on the way that she's presenting. If they dressed 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.280 like that, it's still a woman because she's my thing 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:19.480 is she's a stud is still somebody who is a 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:22.600 woman presenting masculinely, but it is still the undertone of 0:17:22.640 --> 0:17:26.440 that is a woman who was presenting in a masculine fashion, 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.880 much like a gay man who might wear lip gloss 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:32.120 or heels. But he's a man, right, Like he's still 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:34.520 got feared maybe or what if you were born a 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:39.840 guy and you had the surgery and everything. Okay, okay, 0:17:39.920 --> 0:17:42.480 So he so he's trying to say, I hear what 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:48.320 you're saying. Um, When he brought up stud right, men 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:51.840 women that are transitioning, you can tell a little bit more. 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.920 They're growing facial hair, like you could kind of see 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:59.280 that happening. Most studs I've noticed don't have a changing 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.000 voice yet, Like they don't try to come off as 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.679 men yet they try to come off as butch. So 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:07.800 that's what I've gathered from that, much like gay men, 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:10.240 And correct me if I'm wrong. You know what I'm saying. 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:13.359 They might wear makeup class certain tight shirts or whatever, 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:15.760 but they're not wearing wigs or trying to look like 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:19.160 women or bras. There just may have some feminine attributes, 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:23.440 much like studs may have masculine attributes, So the dressing 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:32.600 does not change. Sex would be sis male. I have 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:36.800 so many questions. My my, my sex would be cis male. 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.240 Now do you know the difference between when we say 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:43.640 female and woman? No, I think it's not the same 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:46.600 thing versus or is it animals. We first started the show, 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:51.320 Sam White came on um who's a white guy activist 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.560 for black people, and he said something about how he 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:55.280 wasn't trying to say females anymore. This is two and 0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:57.400 a half years ago, and I was like, you don'body 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:01.520 care because I didn't know female defines you about your genitalia. 0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:06.199 Woman defines you by your gender and how you're presenting. Right, 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:11.280 So that's why some women don't have vaginas. What do 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:14.160 you mean they don't have Females have vaginam All females 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:20.600 have vaginas, have vaginas. Women. Oh, they present as a woman. 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:26.080 So even though they have different body parts, because she's 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:29.440 presenting herself as a woman, then that's how you address 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:38.680 and look at you gold stars point all right, um, 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:41.919 now gender during Since we got through that sexual orientation, 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:47.800 can I ask a difficult question? Are we sure we're ready? 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:51.679 Are we supposed? How are people supposed to notice? Like? 0:19:51.800 --> 0:19:55.040 How it in? It? Like? It seems to me that 0:19:55.240 --> 0:20:00.520 in homophobia or people who don't engage age in the 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:06.160 active a task of understanding learning everything right is based 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:09.159 on ignorance. Homophoonies based on how are they supposed to 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:11.000 know all this stuff? Because people get mad at you 0:20:11.080 --> 0:20:14.720 for saying the wrong thing. I mean here, we're open here, 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:17.720 people are supposed to know. But I think right now, 0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:22.160 after this you should know better. Right, Oh yeah, I'm 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:25.840 doing my best, and the people that are listening this week, 0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:27.480 they don't know better after this but I think it 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:29.199 just takes that teaching moment. I mean, how do you 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:32.639 feel about that question, like are you because I know 0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:34.760 you go through some ship. I know you go through 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:37.159 some ship, and I know it's like super So I 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.200 want to address that it's the assumption that I do 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:42.160 go through some ship, right, because essentially no. But it's 0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:44.679 important that we talk about this because I think what 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:46.080 I don't want you to do, and what I don't 0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:47.199 want a lot of people to do, is think that 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:49.200 we're hung up on the nuances. But we all hung 0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:50.840 up on the hung up on the nuances. It's like, 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:53.119 as a black woman and as black people, we know 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:55.560 when white people are saying something but not saying something right, 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:57.399 And so as a trans person, I know when you're 0:20:57.400 --> 0:20:59.399 saying something but not saying something, or I can assume 0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:01.199 when you're saying something but not saying something. What did 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:05.440 you think? So? But mainly because you're black, but mostly 0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:07.960 because he's a man, right, and I feel like he 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:10.600 comes from a group of people that have taught him 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:12.280 to feel a certain type of way about me, And 0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:14.479 so that comment came off as I know you, I 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:16.800 know you go through some stuff, which means that I 0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:18.760 know that your trans and I know that people know 0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:20.399 that you trans, so I know you're going through on 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:22.800 the street. So you're basically saying you ain't possible, and 0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:27.199 I know I would know you. But we had a 0:21:27.200 --> 0:21:31.960 conversation together and I felt the anger um coming from 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:34.640 you from this situation, So that's why I said that. 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:37.920 But I understand your point because I do come off 0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:40.040 that way and I do represent that, so I'm not 0:21:40.080 --> 0:21:42.600 going to run from that. But just between you and I, 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:45.600 that was only because we had that conversation and we 0:21:45.640 --> 0:21:49.560 got to that point. Was he right? Listen, I respect you, 0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:51.600 I respect everything. But that's where that came from. It 0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:53.359 really wasn't from a judgment place. And I'm here, you know, 0:21:53.440 --> 0:21:57.119 I want to talk about the word pass um, so 0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:02.119 in this room I want say it. But yeah, I 0:22:03.080 --> 0:22:07.399 do think I hope it's passing. I mean I for sure, 0:22:07.640 --> 0:22:11.400 and not everyone is, which really puts their lives at risk. However, 0:22:11.480 --> 0:22:13.920 I want to talk about how passing is not a compliment. 0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:17.639 Can you talk about that for us? And how someone's saying, wow, 0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:20.440 you really look like a girl is sucked up to me. 0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:22.880 It's it's a big issue because what it's saying is like, 0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:25.399 you're validating me and how you feel or how you 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:27.119 think you should respect me based on the way that 0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:29.320 I look versus based on based on me being a 0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:32.240 human being. Right, So it's like people will choose to 0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:34.359 respect you based on the fact that you passed. So 0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:39.040 how did my had I been being rains in a 0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:42.479 wig right here? Your seat might be next to wheezy 0:22:43.000 --> 0:22:47.320 right now because of because of the way that because 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:49.440 you can still tell that it's being rams or whatever. 0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:51.239 But then it's also like an insult because it's just 0:22:51.280 --> 0:22:53.320 like saying, like, oh my god, you are so I 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:55.840 can't believe that you used to be because there's this 0:22:55.920 --> 0:22:59.280 ideology that all trans women look like being rains in 0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:01.119 a wig. There's this idea that we're not supposed to 0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:03.960 be attractive, we're not supposed to be wanted or you know, 0:23:04.040 --> 0:23:07.120 sought after, and that's just not true. But don't bring 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:09.679 me down to my looks either. I want to ask another. 0:23:09.960 --> 0:23:11.760 So I'm just going to be the uncomfortable guy. Can 0:23:11.800 --> 0:23:14.359 I use that as an uncomfortable questions too? But but 0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:16.600 I feel like hope is open enough, and I feel 0:23:16.600 --> 0:23:20.720 like these questions I don't wonder what we miss do 0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:24.720 you identify as trans? Yes? Okay, so once you identify 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:28.800 as trans, why is it offensive if somebody else identifies 0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:31.640 you as trains in a way. That's a great question. 0:23:31.760 --> 0:23:34.320 Boom boom boom. And it's something that I've actually been 0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:36.600 pondering with with myself for the last couple of weeks. 0:23:36.600 --> 0:23:39.240 That's with a new question because um, a college professor 0:23:39.240 --> 0:23:40.959 of mind tuned into one of my videos and she's like, 0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:43.919 you know, when are you going to stop identifying as 0:23:43.920 --> 0:23:46.040 a trans woman and just be a woman? And that 0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:48.159 question ate my ass up because I was like, but 0:23:48.200 --> 0:23:50.560 I'm an activist and I'm trying to you know whatever, 0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:52.359 and she was just like, yeah, but you can be 0:23:52.440 --> 0:23:55.440 an activist and still just like whatever. But it's also 0:23:55.480 --> 0:23:57.920 one of those things where I think for women whose 0:23:58.080 --> 0:24:00.760 sole goal, right my my sole goal in this life 0:24:00.800 --> 0:24:02.720 isn't a past. But there are some girls who literally 0:24:02.760 --> 0:24:06.000 are just transitioning just to blend in and not have 0:24:06.080 --> 0:24:08.200 to deal with any of the transgressions of trans folks. 0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:09.520 And they want to live in stealth and that's just 0:24:09.560 --> 0:24:12.119 how they want to live, and so it's important for 0:24:12.160 --> 0:24:14.880 them to pass because passing means that they've achieved that goal. 0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:17.639 Passing means that I don't have to deal with Nigga's 0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:19.280 bothering me on the street. It means that I can 0:24:19.320 --> 0:24:21.359 get a job. It means that healthcare will be afforded 0:24:21.400 --> 0:24:23.400 to me on certain spaces just based on the way 0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:25.560 that I look. And so it's important to pass because 0:24:25.560 --> 0:24:26.840 when I go to the airport, I don't have to 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:29.080 worry about like that weird awkward thing when I get 0:24:29.160 --> 0:24:31.240 t s a checked, or I don't have to worry 0:24:31.240 --> 0:24:33.399 about being in an acting class and doing a kissing 0:24:33.400 --> 0:24:35.280 scene with everybody in the room knowing what I'm transis, 0:24:35.320 --> 0:24:37.560 so nobody wants to be my partner. It's about there's 0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:40.399 a bunch of nuances that go on, but passing, and 0:24:40.440 --> 0:24:44.600 so it's important for some people because passing takes away turmoil. 0:24:46.040 --> 0:24:49.160 I gotta go. I gotta go with this because when 0:24:49.160 --> 0:24:54.239 we say passing, um and maybe you've never heard that term, 0:24:54.280 --> 0:24:56.800 but no, I do. I get it. But then and 0:24:56.840 --> 0:24:59.399 then we're not identifying as trans because we want to 0:24:59.440 --> 0:25:01.600 go to full route right, you want to you want 0:25:01.600 --> 0:25:03.960 to wind up on the other side. I'm fully here. 0:25:04.440 --> 0:25:08.840 I don't have to worry about being uh for for 0:25:08.920 --> 0:25:12.320 anything else. I'm here, you identify me as this when 0:25:12.320 --> 0:25:14.639 you see me. Nobody wants to say trans to me, 0:25:14.680 --> 0:25:17.040 I'm a woman, right part of me for anything that 0:25:17.160 --> 0:25:19.239 might have said that was wrong there. But then you 0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:23.040 have the people who, if they would find out that 0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:28.960 you've passed, feel tricked because you have gotten now I 0:25:29.000 --> 0:25:33.360 want to talk about I think that's great. M one 0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:36.720 with dating insects and the other with work and other 0:25:36.840 --> 0:25:41.720 things that she should have. Big fan of pose. There's 0:25:41.800 --> 0:25:45.120 episode imposed where she she wants to run a nail 0:25:45.160 --> 0:25:50.120 shop and she does. She was passing to the person 0:25:50.160 --> 0:25:54.520 who rented it. Now the guy, the woman's son who 0:25:54.800 --> 0:25:57.520 you know, found out, he was like, oh that's a man. 0:25:57.680 --> 0:26:00.400 Ma gave her her money back, was like, you can't 0:26:00.440 --> 0:26:03.640 have the store here. Now that's a big fucking deal, 0:26:03.800 --> 0:26:06.879 right because it's like, I don't owe you ship, Nigga, 0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:09.000 I'm fucking putting my money up to rent this place. 0:26:09.000 --> 0:26:12.000 Who gives a fuck? What's here? What I used to be. 0:26:12.359 --> 0:26:15.760 You shouldn't worry about that ship right now. To me, 0:26:16.920 --> 0:26:20.159 you don't need to tricks Like tricking is not the issue, 0:26:20.359 --> 0:26:22.920 you know what I'm saying. For getting a job, you 0:26:22.960 --> 0:26:24.760 know what I'm saying, she's just saying she's managing a 0:26:24.800 --> 0:26:28.280 retail store, like being tricked to fucking manage that ship. 0:26:28.320 --> 0:26:30.080 Like that's fucked up. Oh you know what, maybe we 0:26:30.080 --> 0:26:32.680 shouldn't have put you as a face front for customers 0:26:32.880 --> 0:26:35.800 because you're a trans woman. Can't do that. Fuck that 0:26:35.920 --> 0:26:38.760 for work, but for sex? Now do you agree with me? There? 0:26:39.240 --> 0:26:42.480 Um no? Why not? And the reason why I don't 0:26:42.520 --> 0:26:46.520 it's because if we're gonna normalize this, was not saying 0:26:46.520 --> 0:26:48.879 it isn't normal already. I'm so scared to say to 0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:51.359 the own thing. But I'm not saying it isn't normal already, 0:26:51.359 --> 0:26:53.119 because it's normal for you and it's normal for the 0:26:53.160 --> 0:26:55.399 trans community. But if we're gonna say that it's just 0:26:55.440 --> 0:26:58.119 as normal as homosexual, just as normal as hetero sexual, 0:26:58.359 --> 0:27:04.040 then I identifying as trans in the moment, if that's 0:27:04.080 --> 0:27:07.440 what it takes to me, is important because once you're 0:27:07.520 --> 0:27:14.440 saying that, you're saying it's necessary. No no, no, no no, see, 0:27:14.520 --> 0:27:16.320 And I get that, I get that, I get what 0:27:16.320 --> 0:27:19.320 you're saying. No, because nobody's gonna ask you if you're 0:27:19.320 --> 0:27:21.040 a woman, or nobody to ask you if you're a man. 0:27:21.200 --> 0:27:24.040 Exactly why One, they're worried about healthcare. Oh my god, 0:27:24.080 --> 0:27:26.000 you know my sis is gonna cost too. They're gonna 0:27:26.000 --> 0:27:27.840 be worried she's an HR issue because someone's going to 0:27:27.880 --> 0:27:30.919 talk about her. Three, they're gonna worry about clientele and 0:27:30.920 --> 0:27:32.760 if how this is going to make the company. Look 0:27:32.760 --> 0:27:37.159 it's always a probibility, which is which is uh, that's 0:27:37.160 --> 0:27:38.600 a lawsuit, but you have to know it's not. In 0:27:38.640 --> 0:27:41.159 thirty two states, trans people can legally be fired just 0:27:41.200 --> 0:27:43.520 because they find out that you're trans. Shut the funk 0:27:43.600 --> 0:27:47.720 up thirty two states. I literally, if if I walk 0:27:47.760 --> 0:27:50.440 in I passed, I get the job, and somebody starts, oh, 0:27:50.480 --> 0:27:53.080 I follow hop on Instagram she's an amazing transactivist. My 0:27:53.200 --> 0:27:55.880 boss can give me my walking papers the next day 0:27:56.240 --> 0:27:57.800 and not even tell me that that's why it is. 0:27:57.880 --> 0:27:59.800 Let's be. They don't even have to say, like, that's 0:27:59.800 --> 0:28:03.959 why it is. Now how you feel, nigger? Like when 0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:06.360 they write up their paperwork, they can tell HR like, oh, 0:28:06.440 --> 0:28:08.000 we just felt like it was like all of those 0:28:08.000 --> 0:28:10.639 things that we just listed are valid reasons that they 0:28:10.640 --> 0:28:12.240 can say this is why we fired her. Do you 0:28:12.320 --> 0:28:14.840 remember when the whole thing which Trump happened with the 0:28:15.080 --> 0:28:18.520 military and trans people. You know why. The main reason 0:28:18.560 --> 0:28:21.320 for that was because of the cost for transitioning drugs. 0:28:21.560 --> 0:28:23.000 They don't want to spend money on it, but they 0:28:23.040 --> 0:28:26.080 spend two point five billion dollars on diacra. We already know. 0:28:26.320 --> 0:28:30.639 Really yeah, we feel jet it costs more than transitioning 0:28:30.720 --> 0:28:33.160 drugs for anyone in the millinaritary like times a hundred 0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:36.040 or some ship like that. But point being like, it's 0:28:36.040 --> 0:28:41.040 always this really like asinine, small minuscule excuse to just 0:28:41.120 --> 0:28:45.800 not say what you want to say. Okay, So where 0:28:45.800 --> 0:28:47.840 I'm going with that is, Okay, the owner of the 0:28:47.960 --> 0:28:52.600 nail salon is extremely homophobic, or always said because I 0:28:52.600 --> 0:28:54.320 didn't I don't watch polls. I've been scarped to watch 0:28:54.360 --> 0:28:57.800 trans So there's there's different because there are people who 0:28:57.840 --> 0:29:00.440 are cool with gay folks. We see it all the 0:29:00.480 --> 0:29:02.760 time in black culture. Black men are fine with lesbians 0:29:02.800 --> 0:29:05.200 and studs and all types of But I don't be real, 0:29:05.240 --> 0:29:10.400 I've seen but trans women scared. Trans women is just 0:29:10.480 --> 0:29:13.560 an off limits off the unless and I've seen this 0:29:13.680 --> 0:29:16.840 thing in the hood. If she grew up in that hood, 0:29:17.280 --> 0:29:20.920 then she's the only one that can come. And why 0:29:21.160 --> 0:29:23.120 from the point of view. For me, I think that 0:29:23.200 --> 0:29:26.560 it's always that thing of like being afraid of the unknown. Right, 0:29:26.800 --> 0:29:29.760 if we watch Cookie grow up from LaMotte, then Cookie 0:29:29.800 --> 0:29:33.840 is the hoods And I mean for I'm very I'm 0:29:33.920 --> 0:29:35.800 very transparent because I know how the world is. Right, 0:29:35.840 --> 0:29:38.440 So if if Cookie is the hood training, right, we 0:29:38.520 --> 0:29:41.800 all know Cookie, we know what Cookie is working with, 0:29:41.960 --> 0:29:43.760 then there's nothing to be afraid of because nobody knows. 0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:47.520 Nobody's gonna mistakenly touch Cookie. But if Mariah comes in 0:29:47.720 --> 0:29:50.080 and we don't know, then somebody can make the mistake 0:29:50.120 --> 0:29:56.120 at the party, and that's scary. Scary. Now that scy Okay, 0:29:56.240 --> 0:29:58.560 So we got the unemployment we got because now as 0:29:58.600 --> 0:30:01.760 a man, you're you're you, you you questioning your own self, 0:30:01.840 --> 0:30:06.720 you got people questioning you. I want to move past 0:30:06.760 --> 0:30:09.040 the employment things. Do you understand now, her renting an apartment, 0:30:09.080 --> 0:30:11.640 why she don't need to tell anybody her getting a job? Now? 0:30:11.960 --> 0:30:14.400 Are we clear with that? Why? So it wasn't that 0:30:14.440 --> 0:30:18.320 she for her, it was more like fighting the transphobia 0:30:18.400 --> 0:30:21.760 and the other person because obviously that person has issues 0:30:21.800 --> 0:30:24.160 and you know what, I help you don't really have 0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:26.960 the skill. So what how do we move forward with that? 0:30:27.280 --> 0:30:29.960 Like if we just said, you know what, nobody ever 0:30:30.000 --> 0:30:32.080 has to know anything or nobody has to deal with 0:30:32.120 --> 0:30:34.560 their own transphobia. But my thing is is my thing 0:30:34.560 --> 0:30:36.160 is there are people that are drumming pulpes that wouldn't 0:30:36.200 --> 0:30:38.040 hire somebody who had HIV and AIDS, but they're not 0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:40.120 being forced to disclose that. People don't feel some type 0:30:40.120 --> 0:30:41.960 of way if you don't like, people feel some type 0:30:42.000 --> 0:30:43.480 of way, but if they find out, they're not going 0:30:43.560 --> 0:30:45.680 to necessarily fire you. It's just like, oh, you know, 0:30:45.760 --> 0:30:48.440 she got AIDS, but this is about to be my favorite, 0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:50.640 so you know. It's It's one of those things where 0:30:51.400 --> 0:30:54.120 I sit back and I asked, like, if that's the requirement, 0:30:54.160 --> 0:30:56.640 then everybody who you're dating, they should be forced to. 0:30:57.000 --> 0:30:59.920 Like I think that the thing is, it's the idea 0:31:00.280 --> 0:31:03.120 of the rate and the time frame for exposing for 0:31:03.200 --> 0:31:05.280 trans women that we are like forced to like the 0:31:05.320 --> 0:31:07.240 second that I Nigga sits down at the bar, looks 0:31:07.280 --> 0:31:09.040 at you, winks one time you gotta be like, I'm 0:31:09.040 --> 0:31:12.640 trans And it's just like like that that ship is fucking. 0:31:13.040 --> 0:31:16.400 It is annoying and it's confusing, and it's it really 0:31:16.560 --> 0:31:19.360 hinders you from feeling like a person because I feel 0:31:19.360 --> 0:31:21.800 like I can never have a good conversation. Is I 0:31:21.800 --> 0:31:23.880 can never accept a drink. I want to talk about 0:31:23.920 --> 0:31:26.160 what y'all both got into, and this is a great 0:31:26.160 --> 0:31:31.160 segue into this. Now I feel like obviously we get 0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:34.880 all agree. I'm clearly a fucking ally. But I will 0:31:34.960 --> 0:31:39.400 say I do believe people um should at least have 0:31:39.480 --> 0:31:41.680 a choice. I don't I agree. I don't think you 0:31:41.680 --> 0:31:43.600 need to tell someone sitting at the bar. I don't 0:31:43.600 --> 0:31:46.120 even know how I'm feeling young about a dating profile. 0:31:46.640 --> 0:31:48.280 I still don't know. I don't feel like you need 0:31:48.320 --> 0:31:50.160 to have that. But I want to talk about you 0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:53.000 said something about walking down the street. You guys got 0:31:53.040 --> 0:31:55.000 into an argument on I g live. A lot of 0:31:55.040 --> 0:32:00.280 women lose their lives. It was a debate. Debate was right, 0:32:00.280 --> 0:32:02.440 it was good, it was good, and you were respectful 0:32:02.440 --> 0:32:04.480 in that too. I think I want to start talking 0:32:04.480 --> 0:32:08.000 about dating. How do you go about dating? When do 0:32:08.080 --> 0:32:10.440 you say it? First date? How does it go? I mean, 0:32:10.480 --> 0:32:14.600 that's private, it's your genitaliat I've interviewed people that have 0:32:14.640 --> 0:32:17.000 an STD. They say they don't say it right until 0:32:17.000 --> 0:32:21.320 they're about to have sex, Like that's your I don't know, 0:32:21.560 --> 0:32:23.760 let's talk about it. Everybody has different stuff. My thing 0:32:23.840 --> 0:32:25.719 is And it's funny that you mentioned dating profiles. It's 0:32:25.720 --> 0:32:28.440 on all of my dating profiles. Um, And it didn't 0:32:28.520 --> 0:32:30.000 used to be because I used to like to disclose 0:32:30.040 --> 0:32:32.000 on the first message, like I still like to disclose 0:32:32.040 --> 0:32:33.720 fairly early. But now I put it on my dating 0:32:33.760 --> 0:32:37.160 profile because I was getting so many messages and this 0:32:37.240 --> 0:32:38.600 is not like me to my own horn. But it's 0:32:38.640 --> 0:32:41.200 like the second I would make a tender, whatever the 0:32:41.200 --> 0:32:44.120 funk I was making, it would be like like a 0:32:44.400 --> 0:32:46.480 flood of sucking messages and then I would have to 0:32:46.480 --> 0:32:48.400 tell every single one of them I'm trans. Some trans 0:32:48.400 --> 0:32:50.000 on trains and then it would either be the block 0:32:50.080 --> 0:32:52.120 train or the oh you can steck my dig train. 0:32:52.760 --> 0:32:59.640 And yeah, it's either it's either right, but it's either 0:32:59.720 --> 0:33:04.920 I'm not gonna or or you can or we can 0:33:04.960 --> 0:33:07.760 have sex. But that's it, Like I'll fuck a trans girl, 0:33:07.760 --> 0:33:09.480 but I'm not gonna like me the date I was 0:33:09.520 --> 0:33:11.680 talking about that beautiful ship that I'm just putting your 0:33:11.680 --> 0:33:15.080 in box buck all that, and um, that was the issue. 0:33:15.120 --> 0:33:16.840 So now I put it out there. It's the first 0:33:16.840 --> 0:33:20.360 thing that you see I am trans now, I like 0:33:20.440 --> 0:33:22.920 movies and books and then like all the other stuff. 0:33:23.160 --> 0:33:24.920 And then like when I meet somebody at like a 0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:28.480 bar or something like that, I don't disclose until he 0:33:28.560 --> 0:33:30.280 asked me out how tall are you? By the way, 0:33:30.440 --> 0:33:33.320 five times, the height is the only thing that's ever 0:33:33.560 --> 0:33:37.680 um made me think twice, Like when I see women 0:33:37.680 --> 0:33:40.440 that are quote unquote just for the sake of conversation passing, 0:33:40.880 --> 0:33:43.480 and I'm not sure for second it's it's only hyps, 0:33:43.680 --> 0:33:45.920 never their frame, it's never how big they are. It's 0:33:45.960 --> 0:33:48.920 only hYP that's been like and that's like, oh, that's 0:33:48.920 --> 0:33:50.600 a real texy subject for me. Like whenever I guy 0:33:50.640 --> 0:33:52.840 asked like how tall I am online or something like that, 0:33:53.160 --> 0:33:55.560 it immediately pisses me to funk off because that's and 0:33:55.600 --> 0:33:56.920 my thing is, I wish the people just be more 0:33:56.920 --> 0:33:59.520 honest about it and just say that because men try 0:33:59.520 --> 0:34:01.360 to clock you, like it doesn't matter how cute you are, 0:34:01.400 --> 0:34:03.400 just my how beautiful yards a trans woman if you're 0:34:03.400 --> 0:34:06.640 over five or seven. That like for a lot of 0:34:06.640 --> 0:34:10.200 guys that like they're like, yeah, you might pass. But 0:34:10.239 --> 0:34:13.800 I ain't got time for that because people question tall women, 0:34:14.120 --> 0:34:20.359 even people that you know are sist women, you'd be like, no, no, okay, Um, 0:34:20.960 --> 0:34:22.640 you don't want to delve into this a little bit. 0:34:22.880 --> 0:34:25.399 I have a specific one. That's fine. 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Um. 0:35:41.320 --> 0:35:42.600 To be honest, I thought it was a whit dude 0:35:42.600 --> 0:35:46.200 with long hair because she wasn't even really dressing um 0:35:46.239 --> 0:35:49.759 like like a woman. Did you usually would? But I 0:35:49.880 --> 0:35:52.560 wanted to talk about genitalia in the first question out 0:35:52.560 --> 0:35:54.400 of my mouth. And it's funny because I don't have 0:35:54.400 --> 0:35:56.040 a sex podcast. I was like, what do you do 0:35:56.080 --> 0:35:59.840 when people want to talk about you know, are you preopera? 0:36:00.040 --> 0:36:02.480 So I really want to know, and she got really insulted. 0:36:02.719 --> 0:36:05.720 Did I ask that question? But it's something that I'm 0:36:05.760 --> 0:36:10.080 curious about because now we know your trans Then what 0:36:10.360 --> 0:36:14.400 the reason I'm curious is because even if someone's down, 0:36:14.960 --> 0:36:17.880 maybe they've never I don't know, They're like, Okay, do 0:36:17.920 --> 0:36:19.919 we have anal sex? Do I have anal sex? Now? 0:36:19.960 --> 0:36:22.560 How do we have sex? That's important too, because I'm 0:36:22.560 --> 0:36:26.720 not sure, So, like, at what point do you feel 0:36:26.719 --> 0:36:29.160 comfortable talking about it and how can someone ask you 0:36:29.200 --> 0:36:35.160 in a respectful way that's wild. Um, honestly, I'm but 0:36:35.200 --> 0:36:36.680 I think it's different just because I've been in an 0:36:36.680 --> 0:36:38.600 activism field. So I think i'm a lot more because 0:36:38.600 --> 0:36:41.319 I have to tell like rooms of people about what's 0:36:41.320 --> 0:36:43.080 between my legs and what's not between my legs, or 0:36:43.080 --> 0:36:45.560 how I talk about sex, and so I think that 0:36:45.920 --> 0:36:48.280 for me, it's more so about asking about their comfort, 0:36:48.760 --> 0:36:51.359 but it's asking about your comfort for my sanity because 0:36:51.400 --> 0:36:54.480 I have time to build something awesome. We're talking for 0:36:54.520 --> 0:36:56.319 two weeks or so or whatever, and then we have 0:36:56.360 --> 0:36:58.640 a drunk night, come back to the crib and you 0:36:58.760 --> 0:37:03.000 just saying down so you you you're saying your activist, 0:37:03.040 --> 0:37:04.640 and I think that's the second or third time and 0:37:04.719 --> 0:37:07.840 just you just you being forward right being an activists. 0:37:08.480 --> 0:37:10.920 That's why you put Is that a reason why you 0:37:10.920 --> 0:37:14.880 feel comfortable saying I'm trans? Let's move on? Because some people, 0:37:14.880 --> 0:37:16.640 like you said, don't want to be pulled out of 0:37:16.640 --> 0:37:18.480 that space, like I want to be recognized where I 0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:21.000 am right now, I follow a few trans women that 0:37:21.040 --> 0:37:23.120 don't have it in their profile right and then they 0:37:23.200 --> 0:37:25.399 have hundreds of comments let me eat you but you'll 0:37:25.440 --> 0:37:30.279 understand the other. And I'm like, okay, So that's why 0:37:30.280 --> 0:37:31.960 I kind of was like, Yo, we need to make 0:37:32.040 --> 0:37:35.120 trans more normalized. And only where you can do that 0:37:35.200 --> 0:37:37.239 is if you say, oh, I'm trying. That's why I 0:37:37.280 --> 0:37:40.279 said it, because how do you feel about that? But 0:37:40.400 --> 0:37:42.160 nothing that There are plenty of women that are saying 0:37:42.160 --> 0:37:43.680 that the trans. But the thing about it is that 0:37:43.680 --> 0:37:47.360 when we say it, it's immediately brought down, and especially 0:37:47.360 --> 0:37:49.600 when you're open for hate, there's a lot of hate there, 0:37:49.840 --> 0:37:52.040 but it's not even necessarily. Hey, when you're an attractive 0:37:52.040 --> 0:37:54.359 woman that says that your trans, it's immediately boiled down 0:37:54.440 --> 0:37:56.120 to your sexual parts of what you can do for 0:37:56.239 --> 0:37:59.399 me sexually, they no longer want to hear about you know, 0:37:59.640 --> 0:38:01.600 anything that you have going on. If they followed you 0:38:01.680 --> 0:38:05.439 for hair. Even women, it boils down to like, oh, 0:38:05.520 --> 0:38:06.880 she was pretty, But now I want to know if 0:38:06.880 --> 0:38:08.480 she says it has her penis. Now I want to 0:38:08.480 --> 0:38:10.480 know if she's willing to me if she does have 0:38:10.560 --> 0:38:13.160 her penis. Guys, it's like, oh, I wonder, like if 0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:14.480 I can slide in the d M is real quick. 0:38:14.480 --> 0:38:17.000 I wonder if she's an escort, like it immediately goes 0:38:17.080 --> 0:38:19.520 to all of these others, like the second that you 0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:23.120 say that you are trans, but you're not, you know, 0:38:23.239 --> 0:38:25.640 like the version of trans that people think should be 0:38:25.680 --> 0:38:27.920 kept out of bathrooms, that version, and you're an actually 0:38:27.920 --> 0:38:30.279 like an attractive person that people can see themselves having 0:38:30.280 --> 0:38:32.399 sex with, then that's all people can think about. I've 0:38:32.400 --> 0:38:35.480 been curious about that too, because like I had a 0:38:36.520 --> 0:38:39.759 sis had her old friends, not friend for real, but yeah, 0:38:39.760 --> 0:38:43.960 I smoke with back in Florida and this woman watched 0:38:43.960 --> 0:38:46.319 by us who was trans. She had a shirt with 0:38:46.320 --> 0:38:49.279 a flag on it, and he's like, is that a 0:38:49.360 --> 0:38:51.399 gay flag? That's what he asked me in a blue, white, 0:38:51.440 --> 0:38:54.399 pink whatever it is. And I was like, no, she's 0:38:54.440 --> 0:38:58.719 trans and he was a trans flag. Yeah um, and 0:38:58.800 --> 0:39:02.799 he said okay, Well like her, I would fuck And 0:39:02.880 --> 0:39:05.600 I know she heard him, and I wondered how she felt. 0:39:05.840 --> 0:39:08.080 And I didn't say anything because I was confused on what. 0:39:08.280 --> 0:39:10.360 I didn't check him. I didn't know what to do, 0:39:10.600 --> 0:39:13.400 but I wondered, like, is he by curious? Is there 0:39:13.400 --> 0:39:17.799 a such thing as trans curious? Why is that a thing? 0:39:18.600 --> 0:39:21.600 If he if it's a trans woman, but it doesn't 0:39:21.600 --> 0:39:23.960 matter because she's a woman that's an attractive woman who 0:39:23.960 --> 0:39:29.840 he would suck. I mean, but okay, so that's the thing. 0:39:30.280 --> 0:39:32.520 So no, that's the thing. That's the thing we need 0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:34.600 to be because he doesn't know how to get you know, 0:39:34.760 --> 0:39:36.600 I need to get there because I was gonna say 0:39:36.600 --> 0:39:39.720 this before you're at the bar. You're talking to dude. 0:39:40.080 --> 0:39:43.319 You don't know what his preferences are. He doesn't know 0:39:43.960 --> 0:39:55.799 your history anything else. I'm trying to try. He doesn't know, bro, 0:39:55.920 --> 0:40:00.279 I'm trying. Got a big dude over here. It was like, 0:40:00.320 --> 0:40:04.560 I don't want no smoke. I know your sexual orientation, 0:40:05.080 --> 0:40:10.839 but let me just I'm trying here. Just everybody appreciate 0:40:11.360 --> 0:40:13.880 he doesn't You're waiting to the end of the conversation. 0:40:13.960 --> 0:40:17.080 Let's talk about the time with you, the whole conversation 0:40:18.560 --> 0:40:23.040 at the end of the conversation. Yeah, so she's like, 0:40:23.040 --> 0:40:26.360 she'll have the drinks. Can you talk about do you 0:40:26.400 --> 0:40:28.440 know trans women that do not do that? And then 0:40:28.480 --> 0:40:31.520 can you talk about reasons for safety and what works best? 0:40:31.520 --> 0:40:33.680 I want to talk about safety. Disclosure and safety are 0:40:33.760 --> 0:40:36.040 they go hand in hand? Right? So you never know 0:40:36.280 --> 0:40:40.560 when disclosing it's gonna get you jumped. Outside of this by. 0:40:40.680 --> 0:40:42.360 You never know when disclosing is going to get a 0:40:42.360 --> 0:40:44.560 bottle upside the head right then and there. You never know, 0:40:44.760 --> 0:40:46.280 right You don't know how people are going to respond 0:40:46.280 --> 0:40:49.919 to react. And when I was I want to say, 0:40:49.960 --> 0:40:51.880 when I was twenty two, I was living in Texas 0:40:51.920 --> 0:40:54.520 and that very same thing happened to me. I'm at 0:40:54.520 --> 0:40:57.120 a bar, I'm mind in my business, I'm drinking, had 0:40:57.120 --> 0:40:59.719 a bad night. African do fines ship comes over, six 0:40:59.719 --> 0:41:03.080 ft something, him and his entourage with people and he's winding. 0:41:03.560 --> 0:41:06.280 I had a horrible fucking day. So you buying drinks, 0:41:06.280 --> 0:41:09.160 I'm drinking, We're talking, we're chatting, and at the end 0:41:09.200 --> 0:41:12.080 of the night, I'm like, okay, I'm bouncing and he 0:41:12.160 --> 0:41:13.799 was like, no, let me get your number. I'm gonna 0:41:13.800 --> 0:41:15.719 be back. And I was like, okay, well before you 0:41:15.760 --> 0:41:17.680 do that, like, I gotta tell you, like this probably 0:41:17.680 --> 0:41:20.440 isn't what you want. And he's like, what do you 0:41:20.480 --> 0:41:21.879 mean this isn't what I want. I was like, well, 0:41:21.920 --> 0:41:23.840 I'm I'm trans I'm not sure if you want to 0:41:23.840 --> 0:41:26.640 take it further than this, and he's just like, oh, like, 0:41:26.760 --> 0:41:29.480 you know, not necessarily my thing. I know how American 0:41:29.520 --> 0:41:32.040 men are, but that's not me, and I'm thinking, okay, 0:41:33.280 --> 0:41:35.480 decent exchange. I'm gonna go hop in this car and 0:41:35.520 --> 0:41:38.640 I'm abounce and on my way to my car, six 0:41:38.719 --> 0:41:43.160 African men beat my ass outside of the bottom. He 0:41:43.200 --> 0:41:46.200 went and gather his goonies and they beat me up 0:41:46.280 --> 0:41:48.239 outside of the bar, and they made it up their 0:41:48.280 --> 0:41:52.080 business and then stopped. Uh some guys like from the 0:41:52.120 --> 0:41:54.440 inside of the bar who heard him plotting. Because what 0:41:54.480 --> 0:41:57.840 happened was after I said it, it was my immediate 0:41:57.920 --> 0:42:01.080 like feeling to run, even though he was being nice, 0:42:01.680 --> 0:42:04.480 something in my spirit just was like this ain't this 0:42:04.520 --> 0:42:09.200 ain't right. That's so you're I want to apologize for that, right, 0:42:09.239 --> 0:42:11.800 And I'm apologized just for everybody who are ive, because 0:42:11.840 --> 0:42:15.600 I know in my life I have had those moments 0:42:16.040 --> 0:42:18.399 where I might have run into somebody and be like, yo, 0:42:18.760 --> 0:42:21.279 that's a man or whatever. I'm pretty sure I can't 0:42:21.280 --> 0:42:23.520 remember anything specific right now, but I'm pretty sure I've 0:42:23.560 --> 0:42:25.680 done it. So but that's just my own ignorance that 0:42:25.680 --> 0:42:29.520 I've had to deal with. But moving further from that 0:42:29.640 --> 0:42:31.520 without a butt to the end of that statement, because 0:42:31.560 --> 0:42:36.839 that statement needs to be isolated. Do you think that damn? 0:42:36.880 --> 0:42:43.080 Because this is mass specific after six drinks. That's the 0:42:43.120 --> 0:42:45.080 time when you tell me that when I'm not even 0:42:45.120 --> 0:42:48.000 thinking properly. But my thing is, I have no intention 0:42:48.040 --> 0:42:51.040 on having sex with you. Yes you're attractive, Yes you're cool. 0:42:51.200 --> 0:42:52.879 Why she gotta tell you where she's drinking and chilling, 0:42:52.960 --> 0:42:55.920 because al our exchange has nothing to It's our exchange 0:42:55.960 --> 0:42:59.680 here in this bar, at this moment. See, I'm gonna 0:42:59.680 --> 0:43:01.520 be honest, know where this is leading, this conversation between 0:43:01.520 --> 0:43:03.839 this man and a woman. You know what this is leading. 0:43:03.880 --> 0:43:08.360 But at the end of the night, when you're drinking 0:43:08.360 --> 0:43:12.600 with someone you need at a bar, I'm trying. I'm 0:43:12.600 --> 0:43:15.600 gonna I don't, but you know I want to have sex. 0:43:16.440 --> 0:43:18.680 If you might not know what you want, but you 0:43:18.760 --> 0:43:20.440 know what I want. I owe you that when I'm 0:43:20.520 --> 0:43:26.399 enjoying you, don't I'm on my period. That's your mouth 0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:29.640 works because like he said, like she said, maybe dude 0:43:29.640 --> 0:43:31.120 could just go for some head. That's what they'd be 0:43:31.160 --> 0:43:34.680 asking for anyway, right, that's what she said. But that 0:43:34.680 --> 0:43:36.560 don't mean that she gotta fucking tell you that she 0:43:36.560 --> 0:43:38.839 ain't in the mood. I totally agree with you, And 0:43:39.080 --> 0:43:43.320 like I said, I realized that there's and I realized 0:43:43.320 --> 0:43:44.840 that some people might not want to say nothing because 0:43:44.840 --> 0:43:47.200 of how motherfucker's gonna make them feel. How are they 0:43:47.239 --> 0:43:51.239 going to make them respond? I just to night and 0:43:51.320 --> 0:43:55.120 enjoying someone's time before and then he's gonna come, and 0:43:55.120 --> 0:43:56.759 then she's going to get into that place where she's 0:43:56.760 --> 0:43:59.960 either got to be honest or go back saying I'm 0:44:00.040 --> 0:44:02.000 not going to say nothing. But why is the end 0:44:02.000 --> 0:44:04.359 of the night at bad time? But that's that's good, 0:44:05.160 --> 0:44:08.600 goes there on the first thing before. But do you 0:44:08.640 --> 0:44:12.279 see how like this whole thing is like problematic and 0:44:12.320 --> 0:44:14.799 ship It's like I'm damned if I do. Yes, I 0:44:14.880 --> 0:44:17.480 get it, I totally get it, But I don't. You 0:44:17.520 --> 0:44:21.000 gotta understand it as a me too? What do I do? 0:44:21.560 --> 0:44:24.120 Because now I'm sitting here, I didn't know that this 0:44:24.160 --> 0:44:27.960 was the conversation I was. But why is that a problem? 0:44:28.000 --> 0:44:31.360 Because all anybody else in this bar saw, all anybody 0:44:31.360 --> 0:44:33.480 else in the bar saw, was you talking to a 0:44:33.520 --> 0:44:40.759 pretty girl at the bar? Yeah, nobody else, nobody else 0:44:40.760 --> 0:44:46.240 in the bar. But you knows that I'm trans because 0:44:46.480 --> 0:44:50.040 your homeboys having lit night, but your home my thing 0:44:50.160 --> 0:44:52.200 is if you're because Okay, so what you're trying to 0:44:52.200 --> 0:44:56.400 say is I'm transphobic, right, And what I'm saying is 0:44:56.400 --> 0:44:59.399 if you're representing this person and you're transphobic, transphobia and 0:44:59.440 --> 0:45:01.799 to for for it to be triggered. It's about the 0:45:01.800 --> 0:45:05.239 embarrassment of being caught with a trans person. Nobody caught 0:45:05.239 --> 0:45:07.560 you with a trans person you don't know as nobody 0:45:07.560 --> 0:45:10.800 you know, yo, boom, this is a trans trans woman 0:45:11.000 --> 0:45:14.640 that lives in my neighborhood. Have body done ridiculously? This 0:45:14.680 --> 0:45:17.799 is back before bodies was getting done. Biggest round is 0:45:17.880 --> 0:45:22.080 as best boobs. Everything we all knew, Like you said, 0:45:22.120 --> 0:45:24.640 we know her. She speaks to us what up you know? 0:45:24.840 --> 0:45:26.319 And she speaks like a lady, and we we know. 0:45:26.400 --> 0:45:28.520 We really were just having fun with her all that. 0:45:28.920 --> 0:45:31.480 It was good. It's going because, like you said, she 0:45:31.560 --> 0:45:34.000 grew up around us. We know her, we know what 0:45:34.120 --> 0:45:36.680 when she transitioned and everything. That was a fair point 0:45:36.719 --> 0:45:39.719 to make to her. So boom, we all outside one 0:45:39.800 --> 0:45:42.839 night she's walking to the train station. Bus driver polls over, 0:45:44.120 --> 0:45:47.640 hops out. Bus driver pulls the whole bus over. Somebody's 0:45:47.640 --> 0:45:52.960 crazy like that. We pull over bus over. Uh tries 0:45:52.960 --> 0:45:55.960 to highlight her and I guess she just told him 0:45:55.960 --> 0:46:00.680 straight up like yo, I'm trying. He and she backed up, 0:46:00.680 --> 0:46:03.440 so we're like yo, yo yo. So he's seeing us 0:46:03.480 --> 0:46:05.600 like we was like yo. And he ran back on 0:46:05.640 --> 0:46:07.680 the bus and took off on the bus. So I 0:46:07.840 --> 0:46:13.520 get that y'all have it bad either way, but I 0:46:13.560 --> 0:46:19.520 don't know as the bus driver, when was the right 0:46:19.520 --> 0:46:23.520 time for him to to know or But obviously nothing 0:46:24.320 --> 0:46:27.440 if you freak out before my number in your phone, 0:46:27.520 --> 0:46:30.040 there's no good time. There was no good that's six 0:46:30.080 --> 0:46:33.239 drains don't matter, dog, because if you was gonna tell 0:46:33.239 --> 0:46:35.880 your niggas and y'all are drunk to me to be 0:46:36.000 --> 0:46:38.239 that violent, like, I'm gonna be real with you. This 0:46:38.320 --> 0:46:41.359 is the same thing with abuse, right, I've maybe you've 0:46:41.400 --> 0:46:42.759 never held me told the story, but I had a 0:46:42.880 --> 0:46:45.560 very abusive X and the first time you hit me, 0:46:46.000 --> 0:46:48.880 I was like, he was drunk. That's what I thought. 0:46:49.840 --> 0:46:53.640 How could drunk? You are a good person, right, I 0:46:53.640 --> 0:46:55.799 don't think you could get drunk and hurt me. I 0:46:55.840 --> 0:46:59.560 don't know that he's a period. That is, That's what 0:46:59.600 --> 0:47:03.440 we're saying the same point, right, trans Phobia comes from 0:47:03.480 --> 0:47:06.160 from a place where it can't be corrected or learned 0:47:06.239 --> 0:47:09.520 from that, you can. The point is something correct couldn't 0:47:09.520 --> 0:47:13.120 have been saved from them sick regardless his niggas jumped 0:47:13.160 --> 0:47:16.880 you that didn't take beer, didn't take tequila. Period, You 0:47:16.880 --> 0:47:19.040 wouldn't do it to her. You wouldn't, you wouldn't do 0:47:19.080 --> 0:47:22.080 it to me. You have to innately have that, And 0:47:22.480 --> 0:47:25.560 this is why conversations are necessary so that we can learn, like, 0:47:25.800 --> 0:47:28.719 trans people aren't scary, trans women aren't scary, and honestly, 0:47:29.320 --> 0:47:32.920 trans phobia. So I don't know, that's one of my questions. 0:47:32.920 --> 0:47:36.640 But but that's the thing it's about. It's not even 0:47:36.640 --> 0:47:40.239 about normalizing. It's about going about your sucking business, mind 0:47:40.280 --> 0:47:43.799 your fucking business like it's it's not even just the 0:47:43.920 --> 0:47:46.920 idea of oh, it being scary for it to happen 0:47:46.960 --> 0:47:49.800 to you. But I don't understand that people like, there's 0:47:49.840 --> 0:47:52.360 a young man who just killed himself because he was 0:47:52.400 --> 0:47:55.440 in a relationship with the trans that that had nothing 0:47:55.480 --> 0:47:59.480 to do Reese killed himself in a relationship that had 0:47:59.520 --> 0:48:03.560 nothing to do with other thiggas, But they're pressed because 0:48:03.640 --> 0:48:06.359 he likes you don't. I'll be real with you. I said, 0:48:06.440 --> 0:48:09.040 we had Dustin in here and we discussed that and 0:48:09.080 --> 0:48:11.560 I feel like they were so hard on him because 0:48:11.560 --> 0:48:15.879 he looked so mad. Yeah, you nigga like you. Like, 0:48:16.280 --> 0:48:18.879 let's say maybe you versus a guy that's a little 0:48:18.920 --> 0:48:22.160 more feminine or flamboyant dating a trans women. They don't 0:48:22.200 --> 0:48:24.880 get on you more. They don't expect it from you, 0:48:24.920 --> 0:48:27.000 and that's what happens. I'm thinking about what you guys 0:48:27.160 --> 0:48:30.239 said to me, and I'm thinking about why it's such 0:48:30.280 --> 0:48:34.880 a big deal for people who are transphobic, and I 0:48:34.920 --> 0:48:39.560 think that in the heterosexual community amongst women, women, men, 0:48:40.560 --> 0:48:44.480 and I've been I've been told that even gay community, 0:48:44.680 --> 0:48:49.200 there is a lot of homophobia. I don't know exactly 0:48:49.239 --> 0:48:51.640 how to represent what they're talking about in the gay community, 0:48:51.680 --> 0:49:01.000 but I do know men aren't allowed any preferences outside 0:49:01.080 --> 0:49:06.840 of women before being labeled gay. We're very scared of 0:49:06.960 --> 0:49:13.360 what we might like, of any exploring, of being judged, 0:49:14.080 --> 0:49:17.719 and so because of that, we go super hard to 0:49:17.800 --> 0:49:24.880 prove that we aren't even masking your own desires and curiosities. 0:49:25.560 --> 0:49:29.960 So because of that, I think that's where the phobia 0:49:30.040 --> 0:49:34.600 comes from and the aggression. Because the guy at the bar, 0:49:34.920 --> 0:49:39.120 this guy, his biggest problem wasn't you, Because he liked 0:49:39.160 --> 0:49:43.799 you already. His biggest problem was those guys knowing that 0:49:43.880 --> 0:49:49.560 he liked you. That's his biggest problem. It was them 0:49:49.920 --> 0:49:54.759 because she walked away when when when she when she 0:49:54.880 --> 0:49:58.279 walked away, he looked around and wanted to know did 0:49:58.480 --> 0:50:03.080 they know she was trans because now he wanted to ask, yo, 0:50:03.400 --> 0:50:06.520 she's this, Yo, did you know? But it goes back 0:50:06.520 --> 0:50:09.400 to what he said, that's an internal thing, right, because 0:50:09.400 --> 0:50:12.560 it's like you having to validate that you're How could 0:50:12.560 --> 0:50:16.879 I like that? How could I know? I've been at 0:50:16.880 --> 0:50:19.680 the early stages of my transition. I remember I'm walking 0:50:19.719 --> 0:50:21.560 home and it was three dudes. One of them wanted 0:50:21.600 --> 0:50:23.240 to talk to me, and the other two trails behind. 0:50:23.719 --> 0:50:26.120 I'm listening to the conversation that his friends are having 0:50:26.160 --> 0:50:29.360 behind us. I think that's the man. I think. I 0:50:29.360 --> 0:50:30.960 think that's the man. Yo, you think's I think that's 0:50:30.960 --> 0:50:33.160 a man. He's so busy trying to spit game, he 0:50:33.200 --> 0:50:35.839 don't hear nothing that's happening. It's not until we get 0:50:35.880 --> 0:50:39.120 into the CBS and we part ways that I'm still 0:50:39.120 --> 0:50:41.360 hearing the conversation. Yo, I think that's a dude. Not 0:50:41.400 --> 0:50:43.399 I ain't no dude. Like she finds y'all don't see 0:50:43.480 --> 0:50:45.080 not that's the dude, not to go. We got the 0:50:45.120 --> 0:50:46.960 light on, now go look at it. And then now 0:50:47.200 --> 0:50:50.600 that would scare me, Like I'm literally like, I don't 0:50:50.600 --> 0:50:54.400 know what it's scared me. But my thing is he 0:50:54.440 --> 0:50:57.000 didn't think even in the light he came over, he 0:50:57.080 --> 0:50:59.160 did like the so you really gonna give me your number? 0:50:59.160 --> 0:51:01.600 But he's observing me now now that there's light, right 0:51:01.600 --> 0:51:03.360 now that we're no longer walking down the dark street. 0:51:03.400 --> 0:51:05.480 Now that there's like you're observing me. You still don't 0:51:05.520 --> 0:51:07.959 see it. But because that you've pressed you about it, 0:51:08.520 --> 0:51:11.399 now you have to see it. Oh yeah, y'all, all right, 0:51:11.840 --> 0:51:14.319 that's the dude. I'm getting the funk up out of here, y'all, 0:51:14.400 --> 0:51:18.040 let's go. But you didn't see that. And so it's 0:51:18.080 --> 0:51:20.440 back to what Weezy is talking about. It doesn't matter 0:51:21.000 --> 0:51:24.359 about what they think. It's all about the perception of 0:51:24.400 --> 0:51:26.400 myself and how I see myself and how I know 0:51:26.440 --> 0:51:28.919 that they're going to think about me regardless. Because even 0:51:28.960 --> 0:51:30.879 if even if he had come back and said, nah, 0:51:30.920 --> 0:51:34.480 in the light sheet even more gorgeous now according to them, 0:51:34.520 --> 0:51:35.880 you gay. And that's what he doesn't want to have 0:51:35.880 --> 0:51:39.440 to deal with. It's still internal. It's all about him 0:51:39.480 --> 0:51:42.000 and his bullshit. But and that's the thing. I think 0:51:42.040 --> 0:51:43.759 a lot of men like to make it about other 0:51:43.800 --> 0:51:46.640 people when it's it's legitimately about you. One of the 0:51:46.800 --> 0:51:49.600 scariest things for me when I was talking to a 0:51:49.640 --> 0:51:53.000 trans woman at the bar like a month back, no 0:51:53.080 --> 0:51:57.920 bullshit doing this show, being a part of the community 0:51:58.000 --> 0:52:00.840 like friends that I have, I was literally her feeling her, 0:52:00.840 --> 0:52:03.560 and I was thinking, like, who's asked them have to 0:52:03.600 --> 0:52:06.239 be over my girl? Like I started back forwarding in 0:52:06.320 --> 0:52:08.400 my head like all the things that would happen to 0:52:08.480 --> 0:52:10.840 me and how I would deal with everybody else. And 0:52:10.840 --> 0:52:14.080 I was really like, I can't. I think that there's 0:52:14.120 --> 0:52:18.040 so much understanding of what's going on in society now 0:52:18.320 --> 0:52:22.600 for trans well maybe not for trans or maybe I 0:52:22.640 --> 0:52:26.879 don't know, but I don't think that it's I don't 0:52:26.880 --> 0:52:30.040 want to make the heterosexual people the victim, but I 0:52:30.040 --> 0:52:32.680 do want to say that there's so much pressure on 0:52:33.840 --> 0:52:37.000 black men, straight black men to be a certain way, 0:52:37.239 --> 0:52:40.160 and now we looked at as like we're like being 0:52:40.200 --> 0:52:42.040 demon noted for being that way. I don't think that 0:52:42.520 --> 0:52:45.759 we've been talking that by our our music. I'll coach you, 0:52:45.800 --> 0:52:49.200 our parents, the church, everybody. You gotta be this way. 0:52:49.360 --> 0:52:53.560 And the minute you deviate from that, you're a white 0:52:53.560 --> 0:52:56.320 person saying I didn't know that, saying there was bad. 0:52:57.200 --> 0:53:01.120 That's what you don't know. But I actually I want 0:53:01.160 --> 0:53:02.680 to come to his defense on that because I think 0:53:02.680 --> 0:53:06.520 that it's important that we talk about black women's part 0:53:06.680 --> 0:53:09.520 or portion in the way that black men see and 0:53:10.719 --> 0:53:14.399 that you're wrong. You know that this is another human, 0:53:14.440 --> 0:53:16.959 You know this is a black person doesn't know that 0:53:17.080 --> 0:53:20.160 at the floor. But when my mother you're telling me 0:53:20.280 --> 0:53:23.040 you don't, it's not it's not about what they know. 0:53:23.400 --> 0:53:26.840 It's about the idea that the matriarchs of my community, 0:53:27.160 --> 0:53:28.960 the women who i'm my thing is I can be 0:53:29.040 --> 0:53:31.200 attracted to trans women, right, just like men could be 0:53:31.239 --> 0:53:34.440 attracted to fat women. Men could be attracted to short women, 0:53:34.680 --> 0:53:36.480 but majority of the time they don't get to date 0:53:36.520 --> 0:53:38.120 a lot of those. Majority of the time. He's not 0:53:38.200 --> 0:53:41.000 dating trans women, right. And so if I know that 0:53:41.120 --> 0:53:45.080 dating one trans woman could possibly eradicate my chances of 0:53:45.200 --> 0:53:47.759 dating any other woman because they know that, then I 0:53:47.800 --> 0:53:51.160 can't date one trans woman. That's fair that I agree 0:53:51.200 --> 0:53:53.640 with you on. Now, when he was talking talking about 0:53:53.680 --> 0:53:57.120 the music and ship like that, saying blatantly transphoping homophobic. 0:53:57.160 --> 0:53:59.520 Shiit No, I feel like people know that's wrong, but 0:53:59.560 --> 0:54:03.879 those of fears absolutely because of that influence. That's very 0:54:04.080 --> 0:54:07.680 That's that's what you're saying about. Saying blatantly homophobic stuff 0:54:07.680 --> 0:54:11.680 is relatively new when people you still have people saying pause, 0:54:11.840 --> 0:54:14.680 you still got people saying for like ten years ago, 0:54:14.719 --> 0:54:18.400 I listened to the stuff like that, but it's literally 0:54:18.440 --> 0:54:23.920 been everything. I went to problem with a gay nigga, Like, 0:54:24.160 --> 0:54:26.640 I just kind of lived a different life. I always 0:54:26.719 --> 0:54:30.120 knew those things were bad. I always knew even if 0:54:30.160 --> 0:54:32.920 I said faggot in high school, it coming out of 0:54:32.960 --> 0:54:34.800 my mouth didn't even feel right. I had to stop 0:54:34.840 --> 0:54:36.680 doing that. I had too many gay niggas around me. 0:54:36.680 --> 0:54:38.840 How could I do that? But you did? We didn't. 0:54:39.040 --> 0:54:41.279 I knew it wasn't right. Like I'm telling you, I 0:54:41.320 --> 0:54:43.799 feel like, and you come from a place like there 0:54:43.800 --> 0:54:46.160 are people that, yes, they knew it was wrong. I'm 0:54:46.200 --> 0:54:48.840 one of those people. Nigger. I grew up with black 0:54:48.840 --> 0:54:51.520 ship with a black mama. I just grew up on 0:54:51.520 --> 0:54:53.640 the different side. You're telling me my gay friends didn't 0:54:53.680 --> 0:54:56.359 know that was wrong. You understand that I understand your 0:54:56.360 --> 0:54:59.440 side and I'm doing my best to understand the trans side, 0:54:59.719 --> 0:55:02.560 but also think that just became bad. That's not true. 0:55:02.680 --> 0:55:04.719 I just also think that it's been part of our 0:55:04.760 --> 0:55:08.439 culture to be phobia, to have these phobias, and now 0:55:08.480 --> 0:55:11.920 we're like, it's wrong. Everybody's wrong. And also, so my 0:55:12.000 --> 0:55:14.200 thing is where does the growth come from? How does 0:55:14.239 --> 0:55:17.320 it happens? It has been part of the culture to 0:55:17.400 --> 0:55:21.040 push men to be like that, but we've always known 0:55:21.080 --> 0:55:22.880 that it was to treat people to look at We'll 0:55:22.920 --> 0:55:25.040 look at how many black people at a faster rate 0:55:25.080 --> 0:55:27.279 are getting employed to things because we're more of the 0:55:27.280 --> 0:55:30.200 face of things. Black Lives Matter movement, there's just more movements. 0:55:30.320 --> 0:55:33.399 We're more in your face. Maybe that's why you feel 0:55:33.440 --> 0:55:35.839 that way. Even to say sis feels like a slur 0:55:35.960 --> 0:55:39.600 like nigga. No, that's how people use it. It's not you. 0:55:39.840 --> 0:55:42.040 They don't talk to y'all that way. I'm the one 0:55:42.120 --> 0:55:46.960 on Twitter. If you google, on search, tile TV and sisht, 0:55:47.160 --> 0:55:50.240 you will see everybody who has says it. It's saying 0:55:50.280 --> 0:55:52.799 it to me in a derogatory way, to the point 0:55:52.800 --> 0:55:55.160 where I didn't like the word until I found out 0:55:55.160 --> 0:55:57.400 what it was. And that's the thing, Like, it's about 0:55:57.800 --> 0:55:59.920 knowledge of the word right as people are using it. 0:56:00.160 --> 0:56:02.439 Because I've heard this argument before with people like don't 0:56:02.440 --> 0:56:05.160 call me sis because that just makes like, just call 0:56:05.239 --> 0:56:07.320 me what I am. I'm a woman, you're not a woman. 0:56:07.360 --> 0:56:10.839 But it's like, so hetero sexual people since type people 0:56:10.840 --> 0:56:13.920 are allowed to give every other community a name that 0:56:14.040 --> 0:56:17.560 they can cope with and and compartmentalize people, but then 0:56:17.600 --> 0:56:20.400 when the LGBT people give you all a name and 0:56:20.440 --> 0:56:26.399 compartment list for our conversations, it's a slur. I didn't, 0:56:26.640 --> 0:56:28.879 I didn't. I didn't. I'm saying that when it's using 0:56:28.920 --> 0:56:31.160 a certain way, that's the way that But my thing, 0:56:32.120 --> 0:56:36.239 like there's no way to be like, oh, like I 0:56:36.280 --> 0:56:38.879 feel stupid even trying to find a way to say 0:56:38.960 --> 0:56:41.160 sis in a way that's like disrespectful. It's just like, 0:56:41.440 --> 0:56:44.440 oh no, any time one of these sist said straight 0:56:44.560 --> 0:56:49.239 black men come on here, it's every time I see 0:56:49.239 --> 0:56:52.680 that word. It's like that I think that anytime any 0:56:52.680 --> 0:56:54.640 one of these trans women get on like that's like 0:56:54.680 --> 0:56:56.920 me being upset for like that. It's just the title. 0:56:59.200 --> 0:57:01.360 I think that you, like the energy are given us 0:57:01.400 --> 0:57:04.040 sometimes how women feel about the word female. These females 0:57:05.440 --> 0:57:09.839 never right. But you see how easy it is for 0:57:09.880 --> 0:57:13.120 me to say, yeah, I understand that, and y'all like, no, no, 0:57:13.239 --> 0:57:15.600 we don't understand where you're coming from. And that's the 0:57:15.640 --> 0:57:17.480 point is that we have to try to understand the 0:57:17.520 --> 0:57:21.480 other side. We have to. It's curious to see the comments. 0:57:21.480 --> 0:57:24.800 If I feel like, why are you gonna do it? 0:57:24.920 --> 0:57:28.880 Search it? It's literally right there. I think the reason 0:57:28.920 --> 0:57:31.640 it's hard is because, like they're so there are real 0:57:31.760 --> 0:57:36.800 slurs being a well here it is. You're not a 0:57:36.840 --> 0:57:43.240 marginalized group. Oh I'm not. We're not. When did that happen? 0:57:43.280 --> 0:57:46.840 But where where is the oppression? Insists man, Like there's 0:57:46.840 --> 0:57:52.960 no fucking slurs like black men are aren't marginalized? Definitely 0:57:53.040 --> 0:57:57.600 say that sis het ain't a motherfucking marginalized group. They're 0:57:57.600 --> 0:58:00.280 the group with all the privilege. And it's just like 0:58:00.320 --> 0:58:04.560 the white people privilege out of this world. Ahead, bro, 0:58:04.600 --> 0:58:06.640 I'm not talking about black man. Take your black ass 0:58:06.640 --> 0:58:10.760 out of this. Go back to sis head. I'm on 0:58:10.960 --> 0:58:14.600 black man side always sis Head. She's like, what trumps 0:58:14.640 --> 0:58:21.200 this this head? Okay? Like I want to questions I've 0:58:21.240 --> 0:58:25.600 had that. Um, I feel like you're important. I'm gonna 0:58:25.600 --> 0:58:27.320 go back to Pose. There's a scene in the show 0:58:27.360 --> 0:58:30.040 pos Okay, there's a popular woman in the show, Electra. 0:58:30.560 --> 0:58:33.920 She's like the Dune daughter. She's the best. Now Electra 0:58:34.640 --> 0:58:39.200 wants to get her operation done. What's the name of it, sorry, srs. 0:58:39.640 --> 0:58:43.320 What is the sexual reassignment surgery? Reassignment surgery? Okay? Special? 0:58:44.760 --> 0:58:47.360 So she wants to be post off. She's pre opt 0:58:47.440 --> 0:58:51.240 so to speak, and on the show she's very poised, fabulous. 0:58:51.320 --> 0:58:52.919 She has a sugar daddy to pay for all his ship. 0:58:53.400 --> 0:58:56.000 When she gets her surgery done, he doesn't want her anymore. 0:58:56.520 --> 0:58:58.680 I want to talk about that. I want to talk 0:58:58.720 --> 0:59:02.840 about has anyone ever told you they don't want you too? 0:59:02.840 --> 0:59:04.320 And how does that feel? Are there any man that 0:59:04.360 --> 0:59:08.240 are specific when talking to about making sure that it's 0:59:08.280 --> 0:59:12.880 still there? Whatever? And roundabout ways, um and roundabout ways, 0:59:12.920 --> 0:59:14.920 Like when the conversation has come up with like two 0:59:15.000 --> 0:59:18.840 of my long standing like pieces, they both and it's 0:59:18.840 --> 0:59:21.400 crazy because they are two completely different men, but they 0:59:21.440 --> 0:59:23.880 both had a very similar answer, which is like it 0:59:24.040 --> 0:59:27.560 was like that do what you want, but not really 0:59:27.880 --> 0:59:31.320 type deal. Um. And I remember like because I was 0:59:31.360 --> 0:59:33.560 younger when they when I had that conversation with the 0:59:33.560 --> 0:59:35.880 both of them, and it was kind of like in 0:59:35.960 --> 0:59:38.680 my mind, I was like, so are you like are 0:59:38.720 --> 0:59:41.440 you gay? Like are you not gonna want me if 0:59:41.480 --> 0:59:44.080 I don't have this, like because I'm a woman, And 0:59:44.160 --> 0:59:46.240 I thought that that was the whole point, like I 0:59:46.280 --> 0:59:48.080 thought you would be happy, Like I didn't get the 0:59:48.120 --> 0:59:49.840 responses from them that I thought that I would get 0:59:49.880 --> 0:59:52.240 about like getting a vagina, Like I thought that they 0:59:52.240 --> 0:59:54.400 would be like, oh yeah, like like that, because now 0:59:54.440 --> 0:59:56.000 there's like a wait, lett, I don't know how I 0:59:56.040 --> 0:59:57.360 do have a question. I want to ask what I 0:59:57.360 --> 1:00:02.240 feel like defense like taho for those men, are you topping? 1:00:02.800 --> 1:00:06.960 No you're not. So that's what's really interesting to me 1:00:07.000 --> 1:00:10.360 because at that point it's really all fucking aesthetics, like 1:00:11.080 --> 1:00:14.800 and it's just when we say topping, are you the 1:00:14.840 --> 1:00:17.240 one that's penetrating? Okay, so you forget it. I don't 1:00:17.280 --> 1:00:21.560 want to know, sorry, Like what I wanted to know 1:00:21.640 --> 1:00:25.919 because a lot of the assumption with trans women and 1:00:26.280 --> 1:00:29.480 sex is like, oh, now I guess to get fucked. 1:00:29.480 --> 1:00:32.360 But it's like the trans women I know are not 1:00:32.440 --> 1:00:38.360 fucking niggas. No, the most have sex with most I 1:00:38.360 --> 1:00:42.200 mean fucking niggas. I'm sorry, like penetrating, they're they're they're 1:00:42.200 --> 1:00:45.400 not taking, they're not getting. Is that better? So yeah, 1:00:45.440 --> 1:00:49.600 but that's because they are women. Come on, look at you. 1:00:50.040 --> 1:00:54.439 God damn it. Fucking learning and ship. But I asked 1:00:54.480 --> 1:00:56.960 that specific question because I was curious to know if 1:00:56.960 --> 1:00:59.360 men that have a very serious stance about that are 1:00:59.440 --> 1:01:01.440 feeling like they're is a piece of puzzle missing for 1:01:01.480 --> 1:01:04.680 their sex at all. One of the guys like straight 1:01:04.760 --> 1:01:06.760 up told me, he's like, you know, if I wanted 1:01:06.840 --> 1:01:09.960 to date or be with a biological woman, I could 1:01:10.000 --> 1:01:12.880 do that. He's like, the whole thing about being attracted 1:01:12.920 --> 1:01:16.760 to trans women also is that there's this extra something um, 1:01:16.840 --> 1:01:19.040 And I was just like, okay, it's just it's an 1:01:19.080 --> 1:01:22.120 aesthetic thing. It's just like you know, being with you 1:01:22.120 --> 1:01:24.120 could be with any woman, but like I like fat 1:01:24.120 --> 1:01:28.520 girls because I like the way that fields or do 1:01:28.560 --> 1:01:30.560 you ever want to however, you sign a trargery and 1:01:30.680 --> 1:01:32.080 it's one of those things that I teeter back and 1:01:32.080 --> 1:01:34.360 forth with because it's it's I think that it's mostly 1:01:34.480 --> 1:01:38.920 for vanity's purposes, right, It's so that I can wear 1:01:39.160 --> 1:01:41.280 a fucking bathing suit and not have to worry about 1:01:41.280 --> 1:01:45.400 if my tuck is gonna slip? What what is okay? 1:01:45.560 --> 1:01:48.960 So if it's not about did we assignment surgery? What 1:01:49.120 --> 1:01:52.560 exactly was trans to you? Like? What is what we're 1:01:53.760 --> 1:01:55.840 what's happening? What does trans mean that? Do you mean no? 1:01:55.920 --> 1:01:59.800 I'm trying to like I'm trying to understand, like so 1:02:00.080 --> 1:02:05.440 is course dressing the great and there's so what is 1:02:05.480 --> 1:02:09.760 it trans? So? A lot of the times, cross stresses 1:02:09.840 --> 1:02:12.400 are just people who usually identify themselves as people who 1:02:12.440 --> 1:02:15.440 like the way that they feel in the opposite opposite 1:02:15.440 --> 1:02:18.800 sexist closed and usually that applies to women too, But 1:02:18.840 --> 1:02:21.640 people don't pay women any attension because whatever. But there 1:02:21.640 --> 1:02:23.240 are men who will say, like, oh, I just like 1:02:23.280 --> 1:02:25.000 the way that silk fills on my skin, and like 1:02:25.040 --> 1:02:26.800 you know the women, the way that women's shirts are 1:02:26.800 --> 1:02:30.920 cut or whatever. They're usually people that have fallacies for clothing. 1:02:31.080 --> 1:02:33.680 I wouldn't make feel looking that in their profiles, and 1:02:33.720 --> 1:02:35.360 then they'll just like wear panties and like more like 1:02:35.560 --> 1:02:38.560 great type of thing. They're not walking outside, and if 1:02:38.560 --> 1:02:40.280 they are, it's like for a fetish type of it's 1:02:40.280 --> 1:02:44.200 a it's a fetish sized activity. It's not. It's a verb. 1:02:44.240 --> 1:02:45.880 Being is the thing that you do versus any thing 1:02:45.920 --> 1:02:47.720 that you're living. Right, So it's not this thing that 1:02:48.640 --> 1:02:51.600 constantly um. It's a verb in a thing that you 1:02:51.680 --> 1:02:55.320 do right now. Trans specifically does that mean to his 1:02:55.400 --> 1:02:58.280 question for someone that may not know taking shots, taking 1:02:58.280 --> 1:03:04.000 horm moment, like the actual transitioning, like the feminization of 1:03:04.040 --> 1:03:06.720 the body, the feminization of the look. And that doesn't 1:03:06.720 --> 1:03:09.600 mean my thing is. There's a different um bridge to 1:03:09.640 --> 1:03:12.560 cross for every different person. Right, So me I am 1:03:12.600 --> 1:03:16.000 a trans them presenting woman, right. But India Moore, who 1:03:16.080 --> 1:03:18.400 is also on the show Posed, does not identify as 1:03:18.440 --> 1:03:22.400 a trans woman. OFFSET in India is non binary OFFSET 1:03:22.680 --> 1:03:25.280 and so their pronouns are they them offset And a 1:03:25.280 --> 1:03:26.840 lot of people will look at Indian and say, oh, 1:03:26.840 --> 1:03:28.720 that's a trans woman. I get it now, but you 1:03:28.760 --> 1:03:32.320 don't get it because India it's them presenting. However, they 1:03:32.320 --> 1:03:35.880 are not. By the way, a trans woman that ran 1:03:35.880 --> 1:03:38.760 into India at a party and she was like bro. 1:03:38.920 --> 1:03:40.800 People kept coming up there and stand they loved her. 1:03:40.840 --> 1:03:42.760 On this show, he said, when I found out it 1:03:42.800 --> 1:03:45.280 was Posed, I was like, ain't a way. He was like, 1:03:45.280 --> 1:03:48.680 they can't all be trans. She looks gorgeous so much 1:03:48.720 --> 1:03:50.560 so they're like on the show they talk about I'm 1:03:50.600 --> 1:03:53.200 still stuck on non binary offset, So what is it 1:03:53.240 --> 1:03:58.560 about her to make her not scroll up? And yes, 1:03:58.720 --> 1:04:05.720 she is pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty. 1:04:06.000 --> 1:04:08.160 You gotta give me some slack. I get it. So 1:04:09.080 --> 1:04:12.720 non binary, but when you're non binary, you're somebody who 1:04:12.720 --> 1:04:15.240 doesn't You don't want to be claimed by either one 1:04:15.240 --> 1:04:19.240 of those flexes, right, So India is neither super masculine 1:04:19.320 --> 1:04:21.240 or super feminine. India likes to ride the way of 1:04:21.320 --> 1:04:23.160 both of those things. It's more of a two spirits 1:04:23.200 --> 1:04:26.800 sort of deal. Can you switch between like just be 1:04:27.240 --> 1:04:31.320 if your trans? Can you just be with the non 1:04:31.400 --> 1:04:34.320 binary slash Andrews and the spectrum of everything? You can 1:04:34.360 --> 1:04:36.400 do what you want? Can you talk about two spirit 1:04:36.480 --> 1:04:40.080 I just learned that term this year at pride Um. 1:04:40.360 --> 1:04:43.400 I felt bad too. That was like, yeah, I saw 1:04:43.480 --> 1:04:46.520 the tea, But that's the thing that So the trans 1:04:46.960 --> 1:04:50.280 there's transgen transgender, and then there's a trans umbrella that 1:04:50.360 --> 1:04:53.200 everything that's kind of like under that scope falls under. 1:04:53.280 --> 1:04:57.320 So there's transgender, two spirits, gender nonconforming. A sexual is 1:04:57.320 --> 1:05:00.320 now a part of our umbrella as well. Um, there's 1:05:00.320 --> 1:05:03.280 a bunch of things that fall underneath that trans umbrella, 1:05:03.360 --> 1:05:05.560 and two spirit is just basically like another. It's like 1:05:05.600 --> 1:05:09.280 a hyper sensualized version of somebody who identifies himself as 1:05:09.320 --> 1:05:13.880 not binary or somebody who identified themselves as um androgyn 1:05:13.960 --> 1:05:16.439 is like Grace Jones and boy George and all those 1:05:16.480 --> 1:05:18.760 people who like play around with the idea of gender 1:05:18.840 --> 1:05:20.760 rules and the way that gender is supposed to go. 1:05:21.320 --> 1:05:24.640 So right, Prince, So somebody like India takes it a 1:05:24.680 --> 1:05:26.840 step further and says that not only do I not 1:05:27.000 --> 1:05:30.880 follow these necessarily like these binary things about what gender means, 1:05:31.040 --> 1:05:33.480 but I'm also not going to follow the social economic 1:05:33.520 --> 1:05:36.720 rules of binary and gender. So if I'm with somebody, 1:05:36.800 --> 1:05:39.440 if he does identify as asis male, India might say, well, 1:05:39.480 --> 1:05:42.280 I understand that like film presenting, people aren't supposed to 1:05:42.320 --> 1:05:44.800 pay their own check, but I'm paying the check because 1:05:45.320 --> 1:05:47.360 I got it. You know, how do you feel about 1:05:47.400 --> 1:05:49.640 Because I feel like I'm fake, wote like I'm WoT, 1:05:49.800 --> 1:05:52.760 but I feel like gender reveal parties are a big deal. 1:05:52.800 --> 1:05:55.440 I don't really want I don't think a kid necessarily 1:05:55.480 --> 1:05:58.160 needs to have X because like what about for medical reasons. 1:05:58.160 --> 1:05:59.840 I want you to know without having to take my 1:06:00.000 --> 1:06:02.320 it's diaper off. Like how you know what's common in 1:06:02.440 --> 1:06:04.160 boys or girls when they grow up? How do you 1:06:04.240 --> 1:06:07.920 feel about gender reveals or gender parties or assigning gender 1:06:07.920 --> 1:06:11.120 at birth? I think that it's stupid, like to me, like, 1:06:11.160 --> 1:06:13.040 I don't like the baby showering in the showering of 1:06:13.080 --> 1:06:15.439 moms who might be a need with like gifts or 1:06:15.520 --> 1:06:17.120 you know, just coming to celebrate a mom who might 1:06:17.120 --> 1:06:19.720 have been having a tough ass pregnancy. That I get, Like, 1:06:19.760 --> 1:06:21.640 I'm not against baby showers, but the whole idea of 1:06:21.640 --> 1:06:25.000 this gender reveal and like lately people crying because they 1:06:25.040 --> 1:06:27.240 got like either a boy or a girl, Like that 1:06:27.240 --> 1:06:30.240 ship is fucking retarded. So you you feel like gender 1:06:30.280 --> 1:06:32.400 reveals or what? Honest? I just think that the unnecessary 1:06:32.440 --> 1:06:35.520 and especially because with with these new days, your child 1:06:35.560 --> 1:06:37.760 is growing up in the completely new America. Like when 1:06:37.800 --> 1:06:39.760 I was growing up, I didn't know, Like I remember 1:06:39.760 --> 1:06:43.400 my mom telling me after this one incident if I 1:06:43.440 --> 1:06:45.680 ever came home as anything other than her son, that 1:06:45.760 --> 1:06:48.280 she didn't know me any power. I was like seven, 1:06:48.440 --> 1:06:51.200 How old did you do you? Did you when you 1:06:51.200 --> 1:06:54.360 were growing up, Um, did you feel like? Okay? I 1:06:54.600 --> 1:06:58.120 was a gay boy, proud, loud, proud and strong until 1:06:58.120 --> 1:07:02.440 I was about nineteen. Okay, Like I never had any 1:07:02.520 --> 1:07:05.080 other idea, Like I was always feminine. There was always 1:07:05.120 --> 1:07:08.040 like we even makeup and all that jazz. But I 1:07:08.120 --> 1:07:10.040 never like, first of all, I didn't know I had 1:07:10.040 --> 1:07:12.000 a choice. So at seven, my mom is telling me 1:07:12.040 --> 1:07:14.160 if you ever come home as anything other than my son, 1:07:14.800 --> 1:07:17.160 I'm like, bitch, I have an option, Like what you mean, 1:07:17.360 --> 1:07:19.400 Like what want me to say that if she catch 1:07:19.400 --> 1:07:21.800 you in clothes or no? Um, a guy that she 1:07:21.920 --> 1:07:23.920 was dating, I had a really bad day at school. 1:07:24.320 --> 1:07:27.200 Uh fucking third grader. I don't know, but I had 1:07:27.240 --> 1:07:28.880 a bad day at school and I'm walking home and 1:07:28.920 --> 1:07:31.480 a guy that she was dating, hood Nigga, was across 1:07:31.520 --> 1:07:33.760 the street with his homeboys and he was trying to 1:07:33.800 --> 1:07:35.480 speak to me, but because I had a bad day, 1:07:35.520 --> 1:07:37.680 I was adding into no seven year old I'm like, fuck, 1:07:37.680 --> 1:07:39.120 you ain't talking to you today, Like I don't have 1:07:39.160 --> 1:07:42.280 time for this bullshit. And I kept walking. And so 1:07:42.600 --> 1:07:45.360 that Saturday, I'm sitting in the room with my grandparents 1:07:45.360 --> 1:07:48.560 and my mom comes in, storming, raging, Cusin screaming, yelling 1:07:48.600 --> 1:07:50.760 and fussing and beating the ship out of me and 1:07:50.840 --> 1:07:52.919 me and my grandparents like what the funk? Like I'm 1:07:52.920 --> 1:07:54.680 thinking back, like you as you getting your ass well 1:07:54.720 --> 1:07:56.160 for something that you don't know about, you thinking like 1:07:56.160 --> 1:07:57.400 what did I do in school? Like what did I? 1:07:57.840 --> 1:07:59.760 And she's just like La Motte told me, he tried 1:07:59.800 --> 1:08:02.280 to seak to you and you walked away switching like 1:08:02.320 --> 1:08:04.000 a little bit. And I was like, oh, that's what 1:08:04.080 --> 1:08:06.320 this is about. It wasn't because I didn't speak. It 1:08:06.360 --> 1:08:09.040 was because he specifically said that I walked away switching 1:08:09.080 --> 1:08:11.000 like a girl, and he was in front of all 1:08:11.000 --> 1:08:13.240 his homeboys, and so there was a conversation about me 1:08:13.320 --> 1:08:16.880 that ensued after that because you're dating his mom. How 1:08:16.880 --> 1:08:20.479 did your mom feel about your Oh now we're now, 1:08:20.520 --> 1:08:22.120 we're good. I would have never like you couldn't have 1:08:22.200 --> 1:08:26.840 told me even three years ago she was transpic Now 1:08:27.040 --> 1:08:28.960 do you feel like your mom was more comfortable with 1:08:29.040 --> 1:08:34.599 you being? Definitely and definitely Like she swallowed that pill 1:08:34.720 --> 1:08:37.559 so easy. It was almost like she had her moments 1:08:37.560 --> 1:08:41.280 where she said ignorant things, but she was not ignorant, 1:08:41.320 --> 1:08:43.080 like even beforehand, like I don't think that my mom 1:08:43.120 --> 1:08:46.600 was ever ignorant about you know, like LGBT people. She 1:08:46.680 --> 1:08:49.320 had like stereotypical black thoughts about it, but she wasn't 1:08:49.320 --> 1:08:52.080 really ignorant to the idea. But it was one of 1:08:52.080 --> 1:08:55.160 those things where when I initially transition, because there was 1:08:55.160 --> 1:08:57.160 no conversation like how most people sit their parents down, 1:08:57.160 --> 1:09:00.160 like the gay conversation. That happened. The trans conversation was 1:09:00.240 --> 1:09:01.840 I went to college and I came back home. Were 1:09:01.840 --> 1:09:05.040 you comfortable being gay in school with your mom? Like? Yeah, 1:09:05.280 --> 1:09:07.400 like that was. It didn't get bad with her for 1:09:07.439 --> 1:09:09.400 the gay thing until I got my first serious boyfriend 1:09:09.560 --> 1:09:12.120 and then she knew it was like you gay game? Yeah, 1:09:12.760 --> 1:09:15.479 when you were gay, did you identify as a game? 1:09:15.760 --> 1:09:19.599 Did you ever want to be Did you see yourself 1:09:19.640 --> 1:09:22.560 as a woman? I saw, and that's a that's a 1:09:22.600 --> 1:09:25.280 really And I talked about that in my book Too Shame, 1:09:25.360 --> 1:09:32.800 this BLOGOK, Becoming Hope, Removing the disguise. Uh So that 1:09:32.920 --> 1:09:35.160 was one of those things where I would constantly dream 1:09:35.160 --> 1:09:38.280 about this woman and she was this gorgeous girl with 1:09:38.280 --> 1:09:40.200 this black hair in these beautiful blonde highlights, and I 1:09:40.200 --> 1:09:44.640 don't know where this bitch was coming from. Girl but 1:09:45.160 --> 1:09:47.400 I would see this girl all the time, but at 1:09:47.439 --> 1:09:49.120 that point, like I guess I was, I don't. I 1:09:49.120 --> 1:09:51.679 didn't have verbage for it. So I would just see 1:09:51.720 --> 1:09:53.680 and I knew that it was me, but I was like, 1:09:53.800 --> 1:09:54.880 I don't want to be a girl. I think I'm 1:09:54.920 --> 1:09:58.800 just gonna play with the weed. OK. And so for 1:09:58.880 --> 1:10:01.200 the longest time, I spent a lot of time just 1:10:01.240 --> 1:10:03.719 thinking like I'm I'm a feminist. And then I found 1:10:03.720 --> 1:10:04.920 out what I dropped to me. I was like, oh, 1:10:04.960 --> 1:10:07.160 I'm dropping this. I'm like Grace Shan's like I'm doing 1:10:07.200 --> 1:10:11.679 this like funky fashion thing. And I was finding myself 1:10:11.720 --> 1:10:14.840 like it was just like a little by little. I 1:10:14.880 --> 1:10:18.160 was on a panel once with some citty white people 1:10:18.200 --> 1:10:20.040 shout out to the good twenty seven that are listening, 1:10:20.800 --> 1:10:24.639 and one of them told me that I was going 1:10:24.760 --> 1:10:27.519 so hard for trans people when there's a higher rate 1:10:27.600 --> 1:10:31.879 of trans people killing themselves once they transition. Finally, Um, 1:10:32.000 --> 1:10:34.120 has there had there been a time where you were like, funk, 1:10:34.160 --> 1:10:37.880 I did the wrong thing? Uh No, that's amazing. I 1:10:37.920 --> 1:10:42.760 wanted to hurt myself before transitioning. Um. But the life expectancy, 1:10:42.800 --> 1:10:46.800 by the way from blot Figger that's from getting killed 1:10:46.840 --> 1:10:49.760 by someone else and killing yourself. Why what's up? I mean, 1:10:49.800 --> 1:10:55.400 I get the other turmoil, Like mentally an emotion of 1:10:55.479 --> 1:10:58.479 the transitioning is draining because a lot of trans people 1:10:58.479 --> 1:11:00.520 who are doing this are doing this without a support system. 1:11:00.760 --> 1:11:04.160 Fortunately I have several of them, but there are a 1:11:04.200 --> 1:11:05.800 lot of trans women who are doing this, and then 1:11:05.840 --> 1:11:08.120 they're looking at the people of the world like Maya Scott, 1:11:08.400 --> 1:11:11.479 like India, like um, you know, like ts Madison and 1:11:11.520 --> 1:11:14.960 all these beautiful trans women who are on social media, 1:11:15.000 --> 1:11:16.559 and they're like, I'm never going to be that. I 1:11:16.600 --> 1:11:19.920 am a six ft five guy who played you know, 1:11:19.960 --> 1:11:22.320 football most of his life. I'm never gonna be that small. 1:11:22.360 --> 1:11:24.640 I'm never gonna pass, I'm never gonna whatever. How do 1:11:24.680 --> 1:11:27.360 you feel about trans popular trans women like Caitlyn Jenner. 1:11:27.880 --> 1:11:30.320 First of all, Caitlyn Jenner, we don't claim her. I 1:11:30.320 --> 1:11:34.800 didn't think that we don't claim her, but because she's 1:11:34.800 --> 1:11:37.200 problematic as ship um and I think that she's problematic 1:11:37.200 --> 1:11:39.519 because she doesn't realize that she's problematic. And then even 1:11:39.560 --> 1:11:40.920 once she realized that some of the things that she 1:11:40.960 --> 1:11:44.519 said was problematic, she doesn't go about apologizing in a 1:11:44.600 --> 1:11:47.040 way that shows that you stand in solidarity. She's like 1:11:47.080 --> 1:11:50.000 the super Trump supporter. But even beyond that. What I 1:11:50.080 --> 1:11:52.360 was curious, why I wanted to ask that question was 1:11:52.400 --> 1:11:55.160 because Taylor Swift video. Okay, mat right, can we do 1:11:55.200 --> 1:12:00.000 Tom Devins Vincent, you guys got a long episode today. 1:12:00.040 --> 1:12:02.880 We got a great dialogue on here. Taylor Swift had 1:12:02.880 --> 1:12:06.160 a video where she had a bunch of gay niggas 1:12:06.160 --> 1:12:09.040 in it. Lance Bastman saying, Laverne Cox, who is the 1:12:09.080 --> 1:12:10.800 trans women from Orange's a new Black I don't if 1:12:10.800 --> 1:12:13.400 you know her, just very like for the people video, 1:12:13.479 --> 1:12:16.200 but we all know the same ship, and people felt 1:12:16.200 --> 1:12:18.479 like it was pandering. Now. I had a really good 1:12:18.479 --> 1:12:20.800 conversation with my gay friends, my closest gay friends, Bennie 1:12:20.800 --> 1:12:23.160 and Christopher, and I think one of them were saying, 1:12:23.200 --> 1:12:25.360 this is bullshit and the other one was saying, fuck it. 1:12:25.520 --> 1:12:27.040 Now is out there, Like, I don't give a funk 1:12:27.080 --> 1:12:28.800 how the message gets out, as long as it's there. 1:12:29.400 --> 1:12:32.240 Is Caitlyn Jenner good for white people to see in 1:12:32.360 --> 1:12:35.160 mainstream people to see a trans woman or not, because 1:12:35.160 --> 1:12:38.240 she's not an ideal model of what we want a 1:12:38.240 --> 1:12:41.120 trans woman to represent. Is she necessary or is she not. 1:12:42.400 --> 1:12:45.320 I think the conversation that she facilitated was necessary, but 1:12:45.360 --> 1:12:47.360 it also shows us how the conversation that we were 1:12:47.400 --> 1:12:50.720 already having as people, um, as people of color, was 1:12:50.760 --> 1:12:54.320 ignored because Laverne Cox was already on Anges of Black Way, 1:12:54.360 --> 1:12:57.080 before Laverne Cox had been on the cover of Time, 1:12:57.240 --> 1:12:59.680 Laverne Cox had already gotten Mark was in something I 1:12:59.720 --> 1:13:02.920 heard Jennet Mark. Yeah, Jennet Mark was a freaking CNN 1:13:03.040 --> 1:13:06.080 like announcer, Like I didn't know she had a whole 1:13:06.120 --> 1:13:08.640 podcast on the same network as Angela right, Like she 1:13:08.800 --> 1:13:12.320 was doing things right. Um, we had so many black 1:13:12.360 --> 1:13:14.559 trans women who were doing t. S Madison, whether it 1:13:14.560 --> 1:13:17.120 was probabatic or not. Tis Madison was paving the way 1:13:17.200 --> 1:13:20.040 for trans women on social media. And so then you 1:13:20.120 --> 1:13:23.080 have this sixties something year old white man who decides 1:13:23.120 --> 1:13:26.320 I'm going to embrace this truth and become Caitlin, and 1:13:26.360 --> 1:13:29.280 now the world stops. Now the world says, I want 1:13:29.280 --> 1:13:33.720 to pay attention, and it's like we need I have 1:13:33.760 --> 1:13:37.120 a question. I have a question. I know you have 1:13:37.200 --> 1:13:39.320 a couple of left, but there's some questions from listeners, 1:13:39.320 --> 1:13:41.840 a really good one. So my thing is, um, how 1:13:41.840 --> 1:13:46.559 do we I feel like trans is their own section 1:13:46.760 --> 1:13:48.680 of the community. I think I feel like head of 1:13:48.800 --> 1:13:53.280 rules their own sexual LGBT s. How do we get 1:13:53.320 --> 1:13:58.040 it to be more than everybody is in each is 1:13:58.080 --> 1:14:00.920 having this conversation together, because I feel like even if 1:14:00.960 --> 1:14:03.760 t S. Madison's maybe you got the girls that are 1:14:03.760 --> 1:14:06.960 cool with the gay people that have watched the thing 1:14:07.000 --> 1:14:10.080 with Tiffany had or you know, trans, they'll watch it, 1:14:10.080 --> 1:14:13.320 but the hetero sexual people won't just turn and watch it. 1:14:13.439 --> 1:14:15.679 They'll say, oh, that's a trans girl and they'll fast forward. 1:14:15.720 --> 1:14:19.040 Or how do we do that? Like, what exactly is 1:14:19.080 --> 1:14:23.879 the bill that this community like this right by continuing 1:14:23.920 --> 1:14:27.479 to infiltrate spaces like this and so shameless and spaces 1:14:27.520 --> 1:14:31.280 wear black hetero sist men getting people to feel congregate 1:14:31.360 --> 1:14:34.040 one right? And so having Janet mac on the Breakfast 1:14:34.080 --> 1:14:36.760 Club was like a thing even Sydney starts problematic and 1:14:36.840 --> 1:14:40.519 she was just trying to do she was doing the 1:14:40.680 --> 1:14:45.040 thing about trying to expode like Sydney Stars. She was like, 1:14:45.160 --> 1:14:48.720 she's for she's forcing more hetero dudes that like that 1:14:48.960 --> 1:14:50.320 to say, all right, I don't like it. I don't 1:14:50.320 --> 1:14:52.000 like it. I'm not that guy. But my thing is 1:14:52.160 --> 1:14:54.800 that that's your issue though, like it's only because my 1:14:54.840 --> 1:14:57.479 thing is exposing. It is only a powerful tool because 1:14:57.560 --> 1:15:00.439 niggas give a about being getting exposed. But there's also 1:15:00.479 --> 1:15:04.479 the community that's all right, So let's listen to Sydney. 1:15:05.760 --> 1:15:08.880 I didn't like, Okay, could you date somebody that wanted 1:15:08.920 --> 1:15:12.000 to be a little bit closet about your relationship? That's 1:15:12.000 --> 1:15:14.439 a good question. That question I want to ask because 1:15:15.000 --> 1:15:17.880 whereas like I was saying okay with Sydney, like she's 1:15:17.920 --> 1:15:22.040 exposing nigga, because we really want someone who's out now 1:15:22.320 --> 1:15:24.599 with my gay male friends, some of them will date 1:15:25.080 --> 1:15:29.639 men who are in the closet a little like download dudes. Also, 1:15:30.200 --> 1:15:32.000 you can hang with a nigga and just get lunch, 1:15:33.040 --> 1:15:34.280 you know what I'm saying, and be like, oh, there's 1:15:34.280 --> 1:15:39.559 my people. It's a totally different thing. You could. You 1:15:39.560 --> 1:15:42.400 know how much confidence you gotta have in your sexuality, 1:15:42.800 --> 1:15:45.160 Like say, for me, I say, if I met up 1:15:45.200 --> 1:15:47.680 with Hope right now, let's just go to lunch. Do 1:15:47.920 --> 1:15:50.840 people gonna be like, yo, tow's with. I gotta be 1:15:51.080 --> 1:15:53.360 super secure on myself and all that to be able 1:15:53.400 --> 1:15:55.280 to deal with that one. Because that's why I said, 1:15:55.280 --> 1:15:56.519 I know you go through a lot of stuff. That's 1:15:56.520 --> 1:15:58.760 why I meant like that because I know what had 1:15:58.760 --> 1:16:01.680 happened to me. If I was to do that, now, 1:16:01.720 --> 1:16:03.120 they're gonna be like, oh, you did you this, you this, 1:16:03.160 --> 1:16:04.759 you this, you this. And I got to be super 1:16:04.760 --> 1:16:07.640 confident in myself and who I am and proud that 1:16:07.760 --> 1:16:09.920 I have a trans friend and like, that's why I 1:16:09.960 --> 1:16:13.360 don't give a funk what you're talking about. But Reese 1:16:13.800 --> 1:16:19.840 went through that and it was continuous. People will talk 1:16:20.080 --> 1:16:24.559 about mouth. I really love Mouse. He is always posted 1:16:24.640 --> 1:16:28.400 his gay gass friends on a honeymoon kissing, talking with 1:16:28.439 --> 1:16:31.639 gay niggas out here. Like I was at my show, 1:16:32.160 --> 1:16:35.000 the one I did with Jesse and I did a 1:16:35.040 --> 1:16:36.960 dick sucking contest and I had one of my gay 1:16:37.040 --> 1:16:39.080 niggas come up and Mouse was like that nigga is 1:16:39.080 --> 1:16:45.320 getting it in No one has ever. I've never seen 1:16:45.360 --> 1:16:49.519 it them talking to something like it wasn't Drome. Actually 1:16:49.520 --> 1:16:51.799 that was in Atlanta. That was you and Drone. Jerome 1:16:51.920 --> 1:16:54.240 was getting I was actually talking specifically about that show. 1:16:54.520 --> 1:16:56.439 But and you hosted that show. And that's the thing. 1:16:56.479 --> 1:16:59.560 It's like, when you show your confidence, that's right, you 1:16:59.600 --> 1:17:03.480 did it with your shot Jerome Trammel from Atlanta, nobody 1:17:03.640 --> 1:17:06.599 is gonna and that's the thing. Why not you? Why 1:17:06.640 --> 1:17:09.760 don't they be like that nigga. And it's the confidence 1:17:09.760 --> 1:17:13.920 that you exude and that's the difference, like that, don't 1:17:14.120 --> 1:17:16.040 do that. I had to make that. I had to 1:17:16.120 --> 1:17:20.559 make a conscious choice, especially with Jerome um, to say, 1:17:20.600 --> 1:17:23.360 you know what, fuck that, this is my chance right 1:17:23.400 --> 1:17:28.599 now to say I ain't scared. Yeah, and I try 1:17:28.640 --> 1:17:31.720 to continuously do that. But I have a history of 1:17:31.880 --> 1:17:36.719 being homophobia, so I had to make a conscious choice 1:17:36.720 --> 1:17:39.559 to say, yo, you know what, he's a person regards 1:17:39.560 --> 1:17:42.599 of anything else, whatever these choices are in life, however 1:17:42.640 --> 1:17:46.000 he lives his life whatever, respect this person as a 1:17:46.080 --> 1:17:50.479 human being. Fuck everything else. It's not my business. My 1:17:50.520 --> 1:17:56.960 business is that he is a human. It looks like 1:17:57.520 --> 1:18:01.400 recently said whenever niggas he said something about hope un 1:18:01.439 --> 1:18:03.120 quote number, you can't only say when we are gonna, 1:18:03.120 --> 1:18:05.920 are you evened the maybe saying you are gay? Nigea, 1:18:05.960 --> 1:18:07.599 he'd be like, why are you worried about my sex? 1:18:08.400 --> 1:18:10.400 Like why the funk are you worried about what? Dick? 1:18:10.439 --> 1:18:13.479 Obviously are you gay? And it's crazy how people are 1:18:13.560 --> 1:18:17.080 so obsessed with the sex that you have because that's 1:18:17.120 --> 1:18:19.240 what my thing is. So let me be very clear. 1:18:19.280 --> 1:18:21.200 But that's how we all define out. But let me 1:18:21.240 --> 1:18:23.599 be very clear about it. If if Tyler took me out, 1:18:24.120 --> 1:18:27.799 it would be a question, oh damn they because I'm attractive. 1:18:28.320 --> 1:18:30.200 But if he's too Caitlyn Jinn or out, it would 1:18:30.200 --> 1:18:33.040 be jokes about taking Caitlyn Jinner out because nobody wants 1:18:33.080 --> 1:18:36.200 to fun Caitlyn Jenner. They're joking on you because they 1:18:36.240 --> 1:18:38.439 would suck. That's a hell of a good point. They're 1:18:38.520 --> 1:18:41.360 joking on you because they would hear you. You know 1:18:41.400 --> 1:18:44.640 what I'm saying, That would be real. I don't be 1:18:46.320 --> 1:18:49.360 I don't like him. I'm sorry. I didn't like Bruce. 1:18:50.040 --> 1:18:52.559 Nobody likes Bruce. I didn't. I just felt like Bruce 1:18:52.600 --> 1:18:55.160 was phony man, and I didn't like him. And I 1:18:55.160 --> 1:18:58.479 don't like Caitlyn because I think she's phony too. Yeah, 1:18:58.479 --> 1:19:01.680 And I'm glad she's said it's hiding it all And 1:19:01.720 --> 1:19:05.160 I just think he's he was the whole entity of 1:19:05.479 --> 1:19:08.720 Bruce Slash. It's just weird, Like you just don't get it. 1:19:08.880 --> 1:19:10.680 You just don't think. Also, it's hard for us to 1:19:10.720 --> 1:19:14.240 respect because there's always such a circus around Kardashians, so 1:19:14.360 --> 1:19:16.799 you want to feel for this person, but like I can't. 1:19:17.800 --> 1:19:20.880 It's hard watching a millionaire cry about ship. What do 1:19:20.960 --> 1:19:25.839 we ra time? There's a great question from a listener, Um, 1:19:26.040 --> 1:19:28.719 do black trans women feel a sense of sisterhood? Assists 1:19:28.720 --> 1:19:32.200 black women because I feel like, nah, Um, most of 1:19:32.200 --> 1:19:33.800 the time, I'm going to say that the answer to 1:19:33.880 --> 1:19:36.280 that is nah. And it's just because you're always worried 1:19:36.280 --> 1:19:39.680 about what her intentions truly are. Like when I'm in 1:19:39.720 --> 1:19:41.479 the store and I hate to say, like I just 1:19:41.520 --> 1:19:42.960 at my job, but like when I'm in the store 1:19:43.000 --> 1:19:44.800 and a woman tells me that I'm beautiful, I'm pretty 1:19:44.840 --> 1:19:47.280 unless she's an older woman, because you know, black matriarch 1:19:47.280 --> 1:19:48.920 don't play that ship of a black old woman tells 1:19:48.920 --> 1:19:52.960 you beautiful, but beautiful she means she means that ship. 1:19:53.360 --> 1:19:55.880 But like a lot of the time, when like young 1:19:55.960 --> 1:19:58.160 sis women are saying like, oh girl, you so pretty, 1:19:58.880 --> 1:20:00.519 I'm in my mind, I'm saying, so is this your 1:20:00.520 --> 1:20:01.960 way of telling me that you've clocked me? And I'm 1:20:01.960 --> 1:20:05.400 cute for a trans girl because it's happened like I 1:20:05.439 --> 1:20:08.760 had a girl like one time about four months ago, 1:20:09.720 --> 1:20:12.240 I'm bringing her up and she's sitting there and she's 1:20:12.240 --> 1:20:14.240 just like, oh, yeah, like girl, because I went to 1:20:14.280 --> 1:20:16.160 Miami before. You from Miami, right, And I was like, yeah, 1:20:16.160 --> 1:20:18.040 I'm from Miami. She's like, yeah, I went to this 1:20:18.160 --> 1:20:20.320 drag brunch girl the drag like and like she was 1:20:20.640 --> 1:20:22.360 laying in on that and then at the end of 1:20:22.360 --> 1:20:25.040 the entire transition let me know that she was cool. 1:20:25.600 --> 1:20:27.160 And then at the end of it, she's just like, oh, 1:20:27.360 --> 1:20:28.840 and girl, by the way, you are working and you 1:20:28.840 --> 1:20:30.960 are just but you wouldn't you wouldn't address But do 1:20:31.000 --> 1:20:34.679 you realize that she doesn't know that's offensive? Like she's 1:20:34.720 --> 1:20:40.320 really trying. I've stopped telling trans women that they're pretty 1:20:40.360 --> 1:20:43.240 that I don't like. Now I'll just talk about their clothes, 1:20:43.400 --> 1:20:45.439 I'm talking about your shoot, I'll talk about something else. 1:20:45.520 --> 1:20:49.479 But you still because I know I could. I've watched it. 1:20:49.960 --> 1:20:53.280 I've seen it happen when it's a genuine compliment, right, 1:20:53.400 --> 1:20:56.599 and I could see like, because now you're feeling like, Okay, 1:20:56.640 --> 1:20:57.600 why do you need to tell the girl next to 1:20:57.600 --> 1:21:01.360 me she was pretty? Maybe she's not pretty, maybe she's not, 1:21:01.439 --> 1:21:04.200 but like, why me and I feel like that's the thing, 1:21:04.280 --> 1:21:07.439 Like why single me out because it's it's not do 1:21:07.600 --> 1:21:09.720 you say it's the way like and people you know 1:21:09.800 --> 1:21:11.960 when somebody but even it's just the way I say it. 1:21:12.080 --> 1:21:15.400 You might look at me, is this this this this 1:21:15.560 --> 1:21:18.200 this head of real and be like no, you're probably 1:21:18.200 --> 1:21:20.840 saying that because you've got these feelings. No, it's but 1:21:20.960 --> 1:21:23.080 my thing is when something is authentic and it's genuine 1:21:23.080 --> 1:21:25.759 and it's just coming from like girl, you it's cute today, 1:21:25.800 --> 1:21:30.400 Like you're wearing that dress. It's different than m Okay, 1:21:30.400 --> 1:21:32.799 you thought you got me, but you're cute, like girl, Okay, 1:21:33.200 --> 1:21:35.200 you know what I'm saying. And that's but it's also 1:21:35.200 --> 1:21:36.680 a woman thing. And I think that that's the thing 1:21:36.800 --> 1:21:38.519 between trans women and this woman. I think that a 1:21:38.560 --> 1:21:40.920 lot of sis women see it as a competition, Like 1:21:41.040 --> 1:21:43.280 seeing an attractive trans woman is like, oh damn, this 1:21:43.439 --> 1:21:45.479 another motherfucker I gotta come up against. And especially when 1:21:45.479 --> 1:21:48.040 you're a dark skinned black woman. Right, It's just like, 1:21:48.160 --> 1:21:51.519 as a dark skinned black woman, I got enough things 1:21:51.560 --> 1:21:53.920 going on in this world. Enough of these niggas telling 1:21:53.960 --> 1:21:56.400 me I'm not worthy light skinned because I gotta compete 1:21:56.439 --> 1:21:59.120 with And now I got bitches with dicks, like out 1:21:59.160 --> 1:22:03.920 here you know what I'm like, and so I get it, 1:22:04.200 --> 1:22:06.320 and so I understand it coming from a lot of 1:22:06.360 --> 1:22:08.880 my sisters like women. But it's also like, since I'm 1:22:08.920 --> 1:22:11.000 not the enemy, I do ship to you. I'm out 1:22:11.000 --> 1:22:12.439 here trying to get dick like you're trying to get dick. 1:22:12.479 --> 1:22:14.559 And I'm still a black, dark skinned woman too, So 1:22:14.720 --> 1:22:17.000 bitches is out here coming for me, like, let's be 1:22:17.360 --> 1:22:19.960 sisters for real instead of you coming for me. And 1:22:20.000 --> 1:22:22.080 I think that that's the That's always the thing. It's 1:22:22.080 --> 1:22:25.639 just like being an attractive trans woman's fucking sucks sometimes 1:22:25.640 --> 1:22:27.479 because then you have people piste off at you because 1:22:27.479 --> 1:22:31.360 you're cute, like and it's just like, oh, she's spending 1:22:31.360 --> 1:22:33.200 all of this money on we even shoes, Like but 1:22:33.439 --> 1:22:35.120 if you like, you could do the same thing, the 1:22:35.160 --> 1:22:36.840 same doctor I went to. If you like my books 1:22:36.840 --> 1:22:41.280 so much, go like it's I'm not this magician, like nothing, 1:22:41.320 --> 1:22:43.719 none of this ship is just like by osmosis, outside 1:22:43.720 --> 1:22:46.360 of my genetics. None of this is osmosis. I mean 1:22:46.400 --> 1:22:47.960 to be fair, you are in the community, and like 1:22:48.200 --> 1:22:50.720 I feel like if you have a gay friend of 1:22:50.760 --> 1:22:53.240 your life, you just can't go wrong. So that's really 1:22:53.280 --> 1:22:56.120 what But that's also a stereoid type though, because I'm 1:22:56.120 --> 1:22:58.960 not I'm not a gay man's barbie doll though, But 1:22:59.520 --> 1:23:06.519 let's be all things that are fat, architecture, design, makeup clothes. 1:23:07.000 --> 1:23:11.479 I'll be pissed when I'll be seeing makeup. I'd be like, 1:23:11.520 --> 1:23:14.840 how could this happen? Because trans women were the people 1:23:14.880 --> 1:23:17.200 that were the matrioch. And that's the thing, like this 1:23:17.240 --> 1:23:19.880 is this last episode opposed should have schooled a lot. 1:23:19.920 --> 1:23:26.760 What are you saying? Damn it? But makeup? No. So 1:23:26.880 --> 1:23:29.240 the last episode of the like the final scenes that 1:23:29.439 --> 1:23:32.559 it talks about the idea that trans women are out 1:23:32.560 --> 1:23:35.400 here busting their acts. They created these ballroom floors, and 1:23:35.439 --> 1:23:37.719 then when everything took off, guests who rode the wave 1:23:37.920 --> 1:23:39.720 gay men, when it was trans women who put their 1:23:39.720 --> 1:23:42.280 blood and tears into this ship. And it's just like 1:23:42.600 --> 1:23:44.840 gay men get all of this wrapping this hype for 1:23:45.360 --> 1:23:46.880 making it this that in the third but it's like 1:23:46.920 --> 1:23:48.880 transmit more. The women out here doing the research and 1:23:48.960 --> 1:23:51.160 getting the blueprint from women, and trans women were the 1:23:51.200 --> 1:23:53.839 ones out here learning from their sisters who were accepting 1:23:53.840 --> 1:23:55.799 in a time that was it wasn't okay to be accepting, 1:23:56.080 --> 1:23:58.360 learning from their mothers who were actually like not putting 1:23:58.400 --> 1:24:00.719 them out of their homes, how to properly apply their makeup, 1:24:00.880 --> 1:24:02.840 and then taking that to their gay guy friends, and 1:24:02.840 --> 1:24:05.559 then gay guys were just open enough. So we've so 1:24:05.600 --> 1:24:12.040 basically I've been blinded by the cloak of gay man. Yes, 1:24:12.160 --> 1:24:13.559 there's a lot of gay men that will straight up 1:24:13.600 --> 1:24:15.320 tell you that they don't support and don't like and 1:24:15.320 --> 1:24:16.960 don't understand. If there's a lot of gay men that 1:24:17.000 --> 1:24:19.080 if you listen to their conversations they sound just like 1:24:19.120 --> 1:24:21.439 since head black men, like you would never know that 1:24:21.479 --> 1:24:24.040 he was gay until he says like like armand Wiggins 1:24:24.120 --> 1:24:27.840 is in trouble. He's also another um like blogger via 1:24:27.920 --> 1:24:30.040 the internet's right now that's in trouble because he's always 1:24:30.040 --> 1:24:33.960 coming for trams girls and he's a like just so 1:24:34.320 --> 1:24:38.559 when T. S. Madison was just recently on um Nikki's 1:24:38.600 --> 1:24:42.840 podcast or whatever, he got online and was like, oh, Nikki, 1:24:42.960 --> 1:24:46.120 you need tell your man friends, like let him know 1:24:46.240 --> 1:24:48.719 the Alan play with that like indirect, but he's always 1:24:48.760 --> 1:24:50.880 coming for her. I was on his podcast one day 1:24:50.920 --> 1:24:53.000 and he came for me like, oh, you're a man though, 1:24:53.040 --> 1:24:54.040 but at the end of the day, I don't matter 1:24:54.080 --> 1:24:56.280 how educated you are, you're a man like and it's 1:24:56.320 --> 1:24:59.479 just like he's a gay black man saying this is 1:24:59.560 --> 1:25:02.200 my thing is that it's so much like pride, Like 1:25:02.240 --> 1:25:05.719 we talked about pride and then people will still take 1:25:05.800 --> 1:25:08.760 that from you for your choice and that's like, yo, 1:25:09.000 --> 1:25:11.200 she she has a right to be her. I don't 1:25:11.200 --> 1:25:15.320 know where that this with people feeling like, bro, if 1:25:15.360 --> 1:25:17.600 you ask what you tell me, you you told me 1:25:17.600 --> 1:25:20.000 your program pronounced that's what I'm going rocking way for 1:25:20.040 --> 1:25:21.800 the Rust Show? Why do I give a funk to 1:25:21.840 --> 1:25:24.000 call you something else? And what does it do for me? 1:25:24.160 --> 1:25:27.720 And that's the main root of like homophobian racing, Like 1:25:27.800 --> 1:25:29.479 what do you get out of it? I don't get 1:25:29.520 --> 1:25:32.880 it sometimes I'm always so confused and it really frustrates 1:25:32.880 --> 1:25:35.080 me with men. You know, this morning, I woke up 1:25:35.960 --> 1:25:39.200 and old Bay is the new nick that I'm talking soon. 1:25:39.520 --> 1:25:41.280 I was like, Yeah, I'm so excited for today because 1:25:41.560 --> 1:25:44.400 one of my niggas claims he's transphokeic. I'm like, he ain't, 1:25:44.680 --> 1:25:46.400 but I know he's gonna be asking some questions that 1:25:46.400 --> 1:25:48.120 are weird. We got this trans woman that's coming on 1:25:48.200 --> 1:25:51.680 and it's gonna be fucking lit. And he wanted to 1:25:51.720 --> 1:25:55.040 see your picture and I knew why, and I was like, 1:25:55.120 --> 1:25:57.040 my eyes were rolling, and I'm like, do I get 1:25:57.080 --> 1:25:59.920 angry about it? I want to see her pure? Yeah, 1:26:00.000 --> 1:26:01.800 because he wanted to determine how much respect he was 1:26:01.840 --> 1:26:04.360 going to give he I think he no, I think 1:26:04.360 --> 1:26:08.479 he wanted to know how you would. He was like, oh, 1:26:08.479 --> 1:26:10.400 because I told him I did hit his live show. 1:26:10.720 --> 1:26:12.680 I was like, like, straight up Brooklyn athneck and he 1:26:12.760 --> 1:26:16.160 was like word, He's like, let me see her page. 1:26:16.800 --> 1:26:18.800 And in his mind I know what he was thinking, 1:26:18.840 --> 1:26:20.960 like how is this going to go? How soft is 1:26:20.960 --> 1:26:23.000 he gonna be with her? Like? Those were the things 1:26:23.120 --> 1:26:26.640 I think. I can't speak for him, but I'm not 1:26:26.760 --> 1:26:30.960 really all the way and in one corner, but one 1:26:30.960 --> 1:26:32.479 thing I do and say, I know we have run 1:26:32.479 --> 1:26:35.840 out of time, right, No, I don't know. Benson doing 1:26:35.880 --> 1:26:37.519 some work. So as long as he doing work right, 1:26:38.439 --> 1:26:40.640 if we would say, right a step towards learning for 1:26:40.720 --> 1:26:44.760 people who are all the way in the corner, all 1:26:44.840 --> 1:26:48.200 the way in transfor what's one step right now? If 1:26:48.240 --> 1:26:50.679 you're like, all right, you're worried about people trans people 1:26:50.680 --> 1:26:56.000 in movies or what's one step right now they can 1:26:56.040 --> 1:26:58.280 actually self or do for themselves to open their minds 1:26:58.520 --> 1:27:03.680 or just to consider the possibilities of not being transferred 1:27:03.920 --> 1:27:06.280 or not understanding that it doesn't have to be this 1:27:06.360 --> 1:27:09.400 big declaration, right, it could happen, like the start of 1:27:09.439 --> 1:27:11.600 your journey could be in your house right now on 1:27:11.640 --> 1:27:16.200 Google right. Taking a second to look at documentaries from 1:27:16.240 --> 1:27:22.080 trans people by trans people. Uh So, Janet mac is amazing. Um. Actually, 1:27:22.120 --> 1:27:27.679 my re pressing on Instagram is amazing. Mila jam is amazing. Um. 1:27:27.880 --> 1:27:32.320 Now when you say, like watching these documentaries, like what 1:27:32.360 --> 1:27:34.320 do you want people to see? Do you want them 1:27:34.320 --> 1:27:36.080 to see someone's journey? Do you want them to just 1:27:36.160 --> 1:27:39.360 the need? What do we need they need? It's about 1:27:39.520 --> 1:27:43.360 humanizing people who have been dehumanized and hasn't got it right. 1:27:43.680 --> 1:27:46.880 And so it's about seeing them as sisters, it's about 1:27:46.880 --> 1:27:49.799 seeing them as wives, It's about seeing them as struggling 1:27:49.880 --> 1:27:52.800 artists in New York, right, It's about seeing them in 1:27:52.840 --> 1:27:56.720 their element outside of their gender, because that's always like 1:27:56.760 --> 1:27:58.880 the thing that we wear. Right. But it's like I'm 1:27:59.040 --> 1:28:01.439 more than like Hope the trans girl, Like I've written 1:28:01.479 --> 1:28:03.000 a book, but most people wouldn't even want to talk 1:28:03.000 --> 1:28:05.000 about that ship because they're still focused on my transmiss 1:28:05.400 --> 1:28:07.719 I am a manager in a in a world where 1:28:07.760 --> 1:28:10.200 people say that most trans women have to be escorts, 1:28:10.240 --> 1:28:12.800 and I'm working. I've worked in corporate America, I do 1:28:12.920 --> 1:28:15.879 corporate tours. I've taught it at Netflix, for God's sakes, 1:28:15.960 --> 1:28:17.960 And it's just like it's one of those things where 1:28:17.960 --> 1:28:20.000 people would never get to that part because they're so 1:28:20.040 --> 1:28:22.559 busy focused on if they would have sex with me, 1:28:22.640 --> 1:28:25.160 who is having sex with me, and how we're having sex, 1:28:26.560 --> 1:28:29.240 And it's just like if you take the time to 1:28:29.280 --> 1:28:32.000 see that we're living life and we're going on flights 1:28:32.120 --> 1:28:34.960 and we're getting drunk and making decisions like everybody else. 1:28:35.320 --> 1:28:37.479 And my thing is like, yo, do you really like 1:28:37.640 --> 1:28:40.880 what do you want people to do? Like to anybody 1:28:40.920 --> 1:28:43.200 that hates anybody out there, like, what do you want 1:28:43.240 --> 1:28:48.679 them to do? Take off? People take off? Like reasons 1:28:48.720 --> 1:28:50.400 you know maybe when you think about it, like it's 1:28:51.200 --> 1:28:54.360 always like when you listen to super religious people talking 1:28:54.360 --> 1:28:56.360 about it, they don't they can't get out of their 1:28:56.360 --> 1:28:58.360 head like this is for this, is this is for this, 1:28:58.520 --> 1:29:01.960 Like it's never this, like there's never any profound to 1:29:02.120 --> 1:29:04.760 have so much hate, and I'm like, okay, so what 1:29:04.840 --> 1:29:07.760 do you want them to do? Where the gay people 1:29:07.760 --> 1:29:09.720 they have to just like women, What do you want 1:29:09.760 --> 1:29:12.000 them to do if they get their transferation? What do 1:29:12.040 --> 1:29:16.200 you want them to do? You don't like it? So 1:29:16.280 --> 1:29:18.840 where do they go in your world? How do they 1:29:18.920 --> 1:29:20.880 That's actually a question I want to ask. They said, 1:29:21.760 --> 1:29:24.759 how do you feel safe? Where? Where is this safe 1:29:24.960 --> 1:29:26.920 space for you? When the world is too much? That's 1:29:26.920 --> 1:29:29.880 what someone asked. I mean, I think a lot of 1:29:30.640 --> 1:29:36.000 make it. I'm dead if I don't place one of 1:29:36.040 --> 1:29:37.960 my one of my friends was actually talking to me 1:29:38.000 --> 1:29:40.080 about that, because I'm very much so when I say 1:29:40.120 --> 1:29:42.959 there's a difference between being an activist and an advocate 1:29:42.960 --> 1:29:45.599 ad the kids are just people that are voices and mouthpieces. 1:29:45.600 --> 1:29:48.920 I'm an activist. So you'll see me on CNN at 1:29:48.920 --> 1:29:51.800 the front of the riot like I'm down to like 1:29:52.080 --> 1:29:53.640 I'll put on makeup and I'll take this shot off 1:29:53.640 --> 1:29:55.240 and put on some times and some sweatpants and i 1:29:55.240 --> 1:29:58.240 will go and fight with the police. Bitch colors. Let's 1:29:58.400 --> 1:30:04.360 a like, I'm like, I'm tying it up and I'm 1:30:04.360 --> 1:30:06.720 whipping your asks about these trans rights, Like I don't 1:30:06.720 --> 1:30:09.120 have time out here in these streets. But I think 1:30:09.120 --> 1:30:12.760 that my safe place has been with my friends. It's 1:30:12.760 --> 1:30:15.400 been with my my mom who has been coming around. 1:30:15.439 --> 1:30:17.280 It's been It's such a dope thing to hear consider 1:30:19.960 --> 1:30:22.240 and now your safe space that that's really shows you 1:30:22.320 --> 1:30:24.080 like there can be growth. I don't want to say 1:30:24.160 --> 1:30:27.080 change that growth growth. Yeah. One thing I just want 1:30:27.080 --> 1:30:31.759 to say, um, from my point of view is um, 1:30:31.800 --> 1:30:36.600 I don't I cannot sit in y'all faces, in anybody's 1:30:36.640 --> 1:30:38.360 face and say that I'm always going to say the 1:30:38.439 --> 1:30:41.080 right thing or always gonna understand. But I can't say 1:30:41.080 --> 1:30:42.880 that I'm working on it and I'm trying, you know 1:30:42.880 --> 1:30:46.639 what I mean. So obviously you could have a conversation 1:30:46.640 --> 1:30:47.920 with me and be like you don't get it, and 1:30:47.920 --> 1:30:49.960 then maybe I'll get it later on. But we need 1:30:50.000 --> 1:30:53.040 to be able to have that conversation. So we need 1:30:53.120 --> 1:30:56.240 like people don't be scared to reach out to Hope 1:30:56.640 --> 1:31:01.200 if you have questions respectfully, because I think that's all 1:31:01.240 --> 1:31:03.479 about the way. I think a great thing is like 1:31:03.680 --> 1:31:06.639 people are scared to ask questions, but I think people 1:31:06.720 --> 1:31:10.880 respect like in their defense because I've seen trans women 1:31:11.320 --> 1:31:13.240 get defensive, like I love Jane Max, she's one of 1:31:13.240 --> 1:31:15.240 my mentors, but like on the Breakfast Club and she 1:31:15.320 --> 1:31:17.600 said I'm sick of doing trans one on one like 1:31:17.680 --> 1:31:20.559 read my book. I was like, bitch, hold up, that's 1:31:20.560 --> 1:31:22.960 not that's not the answer. You're gonna forever and always 1:31:22.960 --> 1:31:24.680 be doing trans one on one because this when you 1:31:24.760 --> 1:31:27.479 had the chance to to be Stells and be on 1:31:27.600 --> 1:31:29.560 CNN and live your life and nobody knew when you 1:31:29.600 --> 1:31:32.000 had your cute little husband and a little dog. You 1:31:32.040 --> 1:31:35.200 gave that up to be visible. And so now as 1:31:35.240 --> 1:31:37.600 a visible trans woman, trans one on one is a 1:31:37.640 --> 1:31:44.040 part of your job. You know what I'm saying. I 1:31:44.080 --> 1:31:45.600 want to ask a question that I didn't that I 1:31:45.680 --> 1:31:49.080 think is weird but interesting. We kind of want to 1:31:49.120 --> 1:31:52.120 know a question when taking like estrogen and ship, what 1:31:52.200 --> 1:31:54.680 were the first things that you saw, Like what's a 1:31:54.800 --> 1:31:57.000 change in you five years ago? Was it full? It lives? 1:31:57.080 --> 1:31:59.400 Is it? Like? What do you think is the biggest 1:31:59.439 --> 1:32:05.080 difference for transitioning from medicine not just like hair and makeup? Wait? Wait, 1:32:05.680 --> 1:32:10.600 weight and the way that my skin felt oh um? 1:32:10.640 --> 1:32:14.000 Because I played sports like my entire life, whether it 1:32:14.040 --> 1:32:16.280 was running track, football, basketball, like you name it, I 1:32:16.320 --> 1:32:20.240 played it um and so I was always muscular and 1:32:20.280 --> 1:32:22.640 super skinny like any given point in my life, I 1:32:22.680 --> 1:32:27.720 was solid um. But it was always solid, so I 1:32:27.760 --> 1:32:32.000 never looked like a twig. I was just like muscular um. 1:32:32.080 --> 1:32:34.240 And So it was one of those things where when 1:32:34.280 --> 1:32:37.280 I started to take hormones, I noticed that when I 1:32:37.280 --> 1:32:38.840 was gaining weight like crazy, because there was all these 1:32:38.880 --> 1:32:44.320 fucking cravings of everything um, and then my skin felt different. 1:32:44.880 --> 1:32:47.599 It was just like, I don't know, it's just softer 1:32:47.680 --> 1:32:49.479 and like I know it's men making comments about it 1:32:49.520 --> 1:32:54.000 like oh you saw like damn you just like it's yeah, 1:32:54.120 --> 1:32:56.000 Like I don't know, it's just like the skin was 1:32:56.040 --> 1:32:59.000 the first thing that I saw. Like, now someone asked 1:32:59.040 --> 1:33:03.679 about your mental sta, did you feel more emotional or anything? Yes, Um, 1:33:03.720 --> 1:33:06.960 I started crying as stupid shit like I watched this 1:33:07.000 --> 1:33:09.880 thing movie, which is the fucking like Kid movie. It's 1:33:09.880 --> 1:33:13.599 a cartoon kid movie about sucking singing animals. And at 1:33:13.640 --> 1:33:15.920 the end when Tory Kelly saying, like the song that's 1:33:15.960 --> 1:33:19.080 supposed to be inspirational, I'm boo who fucking crying like 1:33:19.200 --> 1:33:24.640 I'm like legit, like in my bag just I'm a 1:33:24.760 --> 1:33:31.559 leo a little girls, you know, almost started crying when 1:33:31.560 --> 1:33:33.120 she was talking about the bar story, so I had 1:33:33.120 --> 1:33:35.240 to keep looking above her head just so I wouldn't 1:33:35.280 --> 1:33:40.160 like black eyes. But mentally like I'm always like it's 1:33:40.200 --> 1:33:43.120 always I don't know, Like I fight really hard with 1:33:43.160 --> 1:33:45.559 myself now to not be depressed, because there's a lot 1:33:45.560 --> 1:33:47.240 of days like I'll wake up and I'm just like 1:33:48.520 --> 1:33:52.760 just for me, as of late, it's been aesthetics. Like 1:33:52.800 --> 1:33:55.479 my life is fine, like I'm financially stable, everything is good, 1:33:55.880 --> 1:33:58.280 but aesthetics has been like my biggest thing is like 1:33:58.640 --> 1:34:01.920 do I pass this person from like two weeks ago 1:34:02.000 --> 1:34:05.559 clock me? Like like stupid dumb ship and I wake 1:34:05.680 --> 1:34:09.560 up just any given morning. How that could become obsessive? 1:34:10.280 --> 1:34:13.120 You know? Like that do you feel like you're overdoing 1:34:13.160 --> 1:34:17.639 yourself like makeup, dressing? Like because of that? No, Like 1:34:17.800 --> 1:34:19.640 even the night that I went lout with Taho, I 1:34:19.640 --> 1:34:21.880 had just come from work, I was beat the funk down, 1:34:21.960 --> 1:34:23.320 and I made it a point to take off my 1:34:23.320 --> 1:34:25.800 makeup before I got on there. How did you even 1:34:25.800 --> 1:34:31.160 find that? Okay? So I just want people to realize, like, yo, 1:34:31.920 --> 1:34:36.160 it's crazy, no, just how you affect people. I really 1:34:36.200 --> 1:34:38.160 be thinking about that a lot, A lot like me 1:34:38.200 --> 1:34:40.360 and I don't know why I care so much, but 1:34:40.400 --> 1:34:44.200 I really be thinking about how what people take from 1:34:44.600 --> 1:34:48.320 um moments with me because I might I'm a very 1:34:48.360 --> 1:34:51.200 what do you call it? Sensitive and sensitive person, so 1:34:51.320 --> 1:34:52.920 I could be I could be sensitive about what you 1:34:52.960 --> 1:34:55.599 do to me and super insensitive to somebody else. What 1:34:55.600 --> 1:34:57.519 are you thinking about? What affect how you made Hope feel, 1:34:57.560 --> 1:34:59.280 how she made you feel? I thought about it, and 1:34:59.320 --> 1:35:00.760 like the next day, I so she followed me, and 1:35:00.760 --> 1:35:02.240 I didn't wish to follow her, So I was like, 1:35:02.240 --> 1:35:03.640 you let me follow because I don't want to think 1:35:03.640 --> 1:35:08.760 that I'm judging on that had I had so much 1:35:08.880 --> 1:35:12.280 commentary about that, like because after I left you, I 1:35:12.320 --> 1:35:15.160 went live on my page and we actually had an 1:35:15.200 --> 1:35:18.920 interesting exchange about it because I was a conspiracy theories 1:35:19.000 --> 1:35:21.599 at night because the video didn't save, and I remember 1:35:21.600 --> 1:35:24.439 you saying that the video probably wouldn't save. But my 1:35:24.560 --> 1:35:31.000 ask that Nigga deleted how did you know that? Because 1:35:31.040 --> 1:35:32.479 I went back to look Nigga. I was trying to 1:35:32.479 --> 1:35:36.760 get I was trying to get highlights and ship can 1:35:36.960 --> 1:35:39.360 be real. I hate being on someone's life, like I 1:35:39.400 --> 1:35:41.360 don't know how someone stays on mine when I have 1:35:41.400 --> 1:35:43.439 another screen, because it sounded always that I would have 1:35:43.439 --> 1:35:46.360 loved to have that. I was so invested. I was 1:35:46.479 --> 1:35:49.000 mad proud of myself to see like I was like. 1:35:50.240 --> 1:35:52.680 One interesting thing I took away from that live was 1:35:52.880 --> 1:35:55.960 you were saying like, yo, let me talk to up, 1:35:56.640 --> 1:35:59.360 and you were like, you sound so angry, and then 1:35:59.479 --> 1:36:02.479 you said, I'm only or sounding like this because you 1:36:02.479 --> 1:36:04.640 can't understand how many times I've had this fucking conversation. 1:36:05.200 --> 1:36:07.439 And I get it because it's not you. Just like 1:36:07.479 --> 1:36:09.720 when you said, I know you go through ship. I 1:36:09.760 --> 1:36:11.680 didn't think you meant it that way either, but she 1:36:11.800 --> 1:36:14.080 heard it a certain way. It's just like when white 1:36:14.080 --> 1:36:16.000 people give us a look and we'd be like, bitch. 1:36:16.240 --> 1:36:17.880 So I can't be in this restaurant and be like, no, 1:36:17.920 --> 1:36:21.680 you look right. You know, it's like it's hired to 1:36:21.760 --> 1:36:26.839 fuck hearing it. Um. We didn't go over transvestite and training. 1:36:26.960 --> 1:36:28.840 And I want to talk about those words, what they mean, 1:36:28.880 --> 1:36:31.320 where they come from, a deep rooted ship with them now. 1:36:31.320 --> 1:36:34.040 When I was growing up, my mother and father used 1:36:34.080 --> 1:36:36.000 to have it out. So I was born in San France. 1:36:36.280 --> 1:36:39.320 My godmother was a drag queen full On. Um, I'm 1:36:39.400 --> 1:36:41.519 just my mother is a total hag. Like I grew 1:36:41.600 --> 1:36:44.840 up with my mom just in it, you know what 1:36:44.880 --> 1:36:47.680 I'm saying, even still to this day like all of 1:36:47.720 --> 1:36:50.200 her friends and now it's I am my mother's child. 1:36:50.760 --> 1:36:53.479 But I remember my dad said to me one day, like, 1:36:54.000 --> 1:36:57.400 did you know that uncle Judy is a trans met stite? 1:36:57.880 --> 1:37:01.479 And I was like uncle Judy, I recalled her uncle's 1:37:01.560 --> 1:37:06.519 Judy and my mom attention, why did he? Why did he? 1:37:07.479 --> 1:37:09.680 I think he just didn't understand that. I didn't know. 1:37:09.800 --> 1:37:13.120 I was very but I remember that word. Remember their argument. 1:37:13.240 --> 1:37:15.800 And my father is a lot older and and it's 1:37:16.000 --> 1:37:18.639 taking him time. He's way better now, totally great about 1:37:18.640 --> 1:37:21.200 it now. But I remember my mom talking about that word, 1:37:21.320 --> 1:37:25.000 and I've never heard that word today and it's trans 1:37:25.040 --> 1:37:27.479 best I just would we did. Here is the slurest 1:37:27.520 --> 1:37:29.840 training now yeah, it's just been shortened to training now 1:37:29.840 --> 1:37:31.519 because I used to think him across just like I 1:37:31.560 --> 1:37:35.560 didn't get it, Okay, transvesti is the official word or 1:37:36.479 --> 1:37:38.519 transvestide would be like I guess they would call it 1:37:38.520 --> 1:37:41.160 the medical term for what like medical people were breaking 1:37:41.200 --> 1:37:44.640 it down part now, what's trans sexual? Trans sexual is 1:37:44.720 --> 1:37:47.200 when that's what we like to say. The people who 1:37:47.200 --> 1:37:51.000 have been posted that right, Okay, so they're not transgendal 1:37:51.600 --> 1:37:54.479 you have had that makes sense. So you changed your 1:37:54.520 --> 1:37:58.040 sex gender versus sex as a gender, you are somebody 1:37:58.040 --> 1:38:05.240 who identifies with that gender. Trans and trying to vest 1:38:05.280 --> 1:38:08.280 say are derogatory terms created by white folks who oppressed 1:38:08.280 --> 1:38:14.000 trans people. Transgender is the person who is pre up, 1:38:14.080 --> 1:38:16.759 has not changed their gender, but identifies with the opposite 1:38:16.760 --> 1:38:18.719 sex or sex that they were not assigned at birth. 1:38:19.439 --> 1:38:23.040 Trans Sexual is somebody who has now matched their sex 1:38:23.200 --> 1:38:26.519 with their gender. Now, we had the last trance and 1:38:26.520 --> 1:38:30.920 when we had on UM, Jamie Paris said that she no, no, no, 1:38:31.000 --> 1:38:35.559 they were talking about parties. There's there's a thing on Midtown. 1:38:35.840 --> 1:38:38.920 They called them training parties, um, and she was saying 1:38:39.000 --> 1:38:41.040 like it depends how you take the word or something 1:38:41.080 --> 1:38:42.360 like that. I can't quote with her. I'll try to 1:38:42.400 --> 1:38:44.400 put the clip in there. I remember, but all I 1:38:44.479 --> 1:38:46.600 know is she said I gave a little pass on it. 1:38:46.640 --> 1:38:48.639 And it was awkward for me to listen to because 1:38:49.400 --> 1:38:52.200 I've been thinking and trying to learn this whole time 1:38:52.360 --> 1:38:54.439 that training is a bad word. Now when you do 1:38:54.600 --> 1:38:58.439 see training parties like things like that that that exists, 1:38:58.439 --> 1:39:01.240 It's in New York. There's t best party training parties 1:39:01.280 --> 1:39:03.280 things like that, like what do you do? Have you 1:39:03.280 --> 1:39:05.720 seen trans women letting that word be okay? And how 1:39:05.720 --> 1:39:07.639 do those conference? I've seen plenty of trans women letting 1:39:07.640 --> 1:39:12.040 me that be okay. But I've also had to through activism. 1:39:12.080 --> 1:39:15.080 I've learned, um to not be so judgmental because I 1:39:15.160 --> 1:39:17.000 come from a place of privilege as a black trans 1:39:17.000 --> 1:39:21.439 woman who has two degrees right um, and has worked 1:39:21.479 --> 1:39:26.680 in a multiple array of different places. And so it 1:39:26.840 --> 1:39:29.400 came off as I was talking down on people. And 1:39:29.439 --> 1:39:31.920 I've learned just from like different girls that like it's 1:39:31.920 --> 1:39:34.880 different strucks for different folks because there's different environments. And 1:39:34.920 --> 1:39:36.559 so I think a lot of the trans women who 1:39:36.560 --> 1:39:38.160 have come up in the paint and had to live 1:39:38.240 --> 1:39:41.639 and walk and and make it on the streets, that's 1:39:41.880 --> 1:39:45.040 those words that they have taken back, right, And so 1:39:45.120 --> 1:39:47.320 it's like, no, you're not gonna call me a training. 1:39:47.320 --> 1:39:48.760 I'm gonna go home and cry, I'm not gonna do 1:39:48.760 --> 1:39:51.439 that anymore. Yeah, I'm a training, So what got it? 1:39:51.800 --> 1:39:54.400 You know what I'm saying? There, they've reclaimed it Now. 1:39:54.400 --> 1:39:56.599 For me, I'm still not accepting that you're not going 1:39:56.640 --> 1:39:58.080 to call me a training and think that that's a 1:39:58.080 --> 1:40:00.639 proper way to address me. That's just not for me. 1:40:01.080 --> 1:40:03.120 But I'm also not going to tell the next woman 1:40:03.400 --> 1:40:06.640 that the way that she's empowered herself is wrong. Is 1:40:06.800 --> 1:40:09.479 t girl a slur? Tea girl known? But I think 1:40:09.479 --> 1:40:11.439 it's more so of an Asian thing like tea girl, 1:40:11.520 --> 1:40:15.360 lady boy Like those things are like more so Asian culture. 1:40:15.560 --> 1:40:19.200 I've seen it. Um, I want to I keep saying 1:40:19.200 --> 1:40:21.400 the most one of the last question, I don't know 1:40:21.520 --> 1:40:22.840 if you got any that you can cook up in 1:40:22.880 --> 1:40:24.880 your head. I did want to ask. Someone said, how 1:40:24.920 --> 1:40:28.400 do we break the cycle? Of The question says something 1:40:28.400 --> 1:40:31.240 along the lines of, like trans women promote sex work, 1:40:32.400 --> 1:40:34.360 how do we break that cycle? Now? I assume it's 1:40:34.400 --> 1:40:36.799 because they can't get jobs anywhere else, because mother buckers 1:40:36.960 --> 1:40:39.680 like now, which is why I think sex work is 1:40:39.680 --> 1:40:43.200 the option. But I am curious to know, like trans 1:40:43.360 --> 1:40:45.880 like breaking the cycles, it's something that's necessary. How do 1:40:45.880 --> 1:40:47.880 we keep trans women the safe? My thing is we 1:40:47.920 --> 1:40:49.960 are the first, the first, first, and foremost before trans 1:40:50.000 --> 1:40:52.240 people to stop promoting the idea of sex work. We 1:40:52.240 --> 1:40:54.160 have to make sure that trans people can be employed 1:40:54.479 --> 1:40:56.720 right at the living at a livable wage. But most 1:40:56.760 --> 1:40:59.040 people in America can't be avoided livable wage, let alone 1:40:59.080 --> 1:41:02.400 trans people. Um. But I think that it's also about 1:41:02.439 --> 1:41:08.600 promoting things from trans people with sucking. Oh girl, Um, 1:41:08.640 --> 1:41:11.439 it's about the type of people that trans It's about 1:41:12.000 --> 1:41:14.000 you know, what were you about to say, like, let 1:41:14.000 --> 1:41:17.840 me tell you she's just slapped her. It's that be 1:41:18.000 --> 1:41:21.439 so shameless in this woman. You've been in here doing 1:41:21.479 --> 1:41:26.200 it for a minute and forty seconds. Ba bye bye 1:41:26.240 --> 1:41:32.719 ba by. But you it's about the type of people. 1:41:33.080 --> 1:41:35.720 It's about the type of trans people that folks promote. Right, 1:41:36.160 --> 1:41:38.360 So when we have people like Cookie Cookie, when we 1:41:38.479 --> 1:41:40.680 had like when t s Madisine was first beginning and 1:41:40.760 --> 1:41:43.400 she was only talking about like being the big the 1:41:43.520 --> 1:41:46.160 big black dick training or whatever the case may be. 1:41:46.600 --> 1:41:50.040 When we have people like my good girlfriend Shawn of Brooks, 1:41:50.080 --> 1:41:54.360 who is openly advertising her only fans page right, those 1:41:54.439 --> 1:41:59.040 girls have umpteen thousand million followers. And then a girl 1:41:59.120 --> 1:42:01.880 like me who was openly trying to tell you guys, 1:42:01.960 --> 1:42:04.360 how trying to educate you guys like people who are 1:42:04.439 --> 1:42:07.760 not associated with like the Laverne Coxes of the world, 1:42:07.840 --> 1:42:10.519 or people who aren't associated to people who are out 1:42:10.600 --> 1:42:13.400 of the hierarchy. We can't get folks to save by 1:42:13.400 --> 1:42:15.280 our lives, to listen to our ship until a white 1:42:15.320 --> 1:42:18.720 person validates our voice. And it's just like, if you 1:42:18.840 --> 1:42:20.920 want to like, not all trans women are sex workers, 1:42:21.000 --> 1:42:22.479 but the ones that aren't sex workers don't get no 1:42:22.600 --> 1:42:25.960 views because y'all don't give a ship. White trans women 1:42:26.000 --> 1:42:29.439 have you seen them get? Yes, there's so many programs 1:42:29.479 --> 1:42:32.200 for white trans women to get fucking surgeries, and they 1:42:32.280 --> 1:42:34.519 have access to all different types of doctors that black 1:42:34.600 --> 1:42:37.800 women and Latina trans women don't have access to they have. 1:42:38.160 --> 1:42:40.080 And then you have to remember transitioning as a white 1:42:40.080 --> 1:42:42.360 woman is completely different from transitioning as a trans woman 1:42:42.600 --> 1:42:45.599 of color, let alone a black trans woman. White trans 1:42:45.680 --> 1:42:48.040 women every now and then we hear about issues with 1:42:48.160 --> 1:42:49.880 them and their family, But then there's always some like 1:42:50.080 --> 1:42:53.640 Aunt Karen, bitch from next door, like come on and 1:42:54.080 --> 1:42:55.760 da da da da, and I'll pay for your twenty 1:42:56.120 --> 1:43:01.000 dollars surgery. G gorgeous transitioned over fucking eight. The bitch 1:43:01.080 --> 1:43:06.320 was Gregory all of a sudden, like one day, seriously no, 1:43:06.439 --> 1:43:12.519 but seriously, no, but no, seriously. She was online as 1:43:12.560 --> 1:43:16.200 Gregory Georgia, Gregory Gorgeous, and then one day came out 1:43:16.200 --> 1:43:18.760 and was like, oh I'm Gigi now you know, thank 1:43:18.800 --> 1:43:20.479 you guys so much. I'm going to create a go 1:43:20.640 --> 1:43:22.639 fund me for you guys to help me with my ship. 1:43:23.200 --> 1:43:27.920 In less than about a year, bitch was sickening, snatched 1:43:28.120 --> 1:43:35.280 in a year, boobs, face, lips, eyes, we've hair transplant everything, 1:43:35.520 --> 1:43:42.200 hair transplant in a year. Yeah, So not to that 1:43:42.280 --> 1:43:44.320 because I wanted to finish a point on that, but 1:43:44.600 --> 1:43:47.640 I just realized that I have I have a transgirl 1:43:47.720 --> 1:43:51.080 file with me, and I see in her pictures she 1:43:51.200 --> 1:43:55.120 doesn't look happy. So I don't know if that's the 1:43:55.200 --> 1:43:58.160 depression that you were saying or the stress from just 1:43:58.320 --> 1:44:00.640 living and you know she does and have trains and 1:44:00.680 --> 1:44:03.599 her um biomet not saying that she should, but if 1:44:03.640 --> 1:44:05.360 you would to be able to give a message to 1:44:05.479 --> 1:44:07.439 those people out there who are living under that type 1:44:07.439 --> 1:44:10.360 of stress right now, Men that had that are dealing 1:44:10.479 --> 1:44:12.680 with that, families that have that in there, like, what 1:44:12.760 --> 1:44:15.599 would you say to them, like to keep them going 1:44:15.680 --> 1:44:17.479 and waking up the next day, Because I really want 1:44:17.520 --> 1:44:19.400 to see people past thirty five, like, that's the worst 1:44:19.439 --> 1:44:23.000 thing I've ever heard. It's important, It's important to validate yourself, right. 1:44:23.439 --> 1:44:25.920 I think that a lot of trans folks are Our 1:44:26.120 --> 1:44:29.439 existence is based on the idea of being validated. Does 1:44:29.520 --> 1:44:31.680 he accept me? Does she accept me? Do they accept me? 1:44:31.760 --> 1:44:34.320 When my job accept me? And so there's always this 1:44:34.439 --> 1:44:38.080 question of who else accepts me except me? And so 1:44:39.000 --> 1:44:40.960 for me, getting out of those funks and getting out 1:44:40.960 --> 1:44:43.240 of that depression is about making sure that I can 1:44:43.320 --> 1:44:46.680 validate myself. Like bit girl, you did the damn thing. 1:44:46.800 --> 1:44:49.559 You got about the hood, You graduated that stuff in team, 1:44:49.960 --> 1:44:52.439 got your first degree at like twenty, got your second 1:44:52.439 --> 1:44:54.800 one at like twenty one. But you had your own crab, 1:44:54.920 --> 1:44:56.880 your own car, you got your dream life, left your 1:44:57.000 --> 1:45:00.599 dream life, fuck your shut up, rebuild your ship back together, 1:45:00.760 --> 1:45:03.160 you know what I'm saying. And now you're here contemplating 1:45:03.200 --> 1:45:05.600 whether or not like you did the damn thing, and 1:45:05.760 --> 1:45:07.800 even if that is not your story, right, even if 1:45:07.840 --> 1:45:09.599 that's not your narrative, Even if you just got off 1:45:09.640 --> 1:45:12.080 of the piers last night and somebody robbed you from 1:45:12.240 --> 1:45:13.960 your date money and now you have no way to 1:45:14.000 --> 1:45:16.519 pay your rent, but you're here and you got dates 1:45:16.600 --> 1:45:18.519 last night. There's a girl last night that did not 1:45:18.600 --> 1:45:21.720 get dates. Validate that ship, like the validation from all 1:45:21.760 --> 1:45:23.880 these other people. And whether or not you pass, or 1:45:24.080 --> 1:45:26.040 whether or not somebody's gonna like your spouse, or whether 1:45:26.120 --> 1:45:27.760 or not your homeboys are gonna john on you because 1:45:27.760 --> 1:45:29.800 you dating this person or you find this person attractive, 1:45:30.120 --> 1:45:32.719 Like fund them niggas, because them niggas eating rama noodles. 1:45:32.760 --> 1:45:35.040 You're gonna go take this same trans that they're laughing out, 1:45:35.400 --> 1:45:38.080 like to the best restaurant out here. Just a lesson 1:45:38.120 --> 1:45:43.320 of this trans women busy pussy when right whatever, And 1:45:43.479 --> 1:45:45.559 because that that's the thing, especially like to my men. 1:45:45.680 --> 1:45:47.920 I think that it's always crazy because I always see 1:45:48.439 --> 1:45:51.360 like men who are attracted or open minded to certain things. 1:45:51.840 --> 1:45:54.200 Y'all niggas are the ones like with money doing ship 1:45:54.560 --> 1:45:56.599 and then y'all trying to impress niggas that ain't got 1:45:56.640 --> 1:46:01.200 ship on the black doing nothing. Is it, trans trans woman? 1:46:01.360 --> 1:46:03.120 Is it easy of being a transman? It is to 1:46:03.200 --> 1:46:06.000 be a trans of course, and and they hate to 1:46:06.080 --> 1:46:08.000 admit it, but but it is. And it's just because 1:46:08.080 --> 1:46:09.920 most trans men, if you don't pass, you're seen as 1:46:09.920 --> 1:46:11.639 a lesbian that it really gives a shit about lesbian 1:46:11.680 --> 1:46:14.599 is and if you if you passed as a man, 1:46:14.760 --> 1:46:18.160 you just passed. And so there's not a lot of 1:46:18.400 --> 1:46:21.439 issues socially. Now I will say that transmants don't have 1:46:22.040 --> 1:46:25.680 the health care issues. There's still issues around pregnancy and 1:46:26.320 --> 1:46:31.240 you know, reform for trans men, right, what's reform like? 1:46:31.400 --> 1:46:33.840 So health care reform. So the way that we're talking 1:46:33.880 --> 1:46:37.200 about pregnancy as if it's just a women's issue, when 1:46:37.280 --> 1:46:40.400 now it is indeed a man's issue as well, because 1:46:40.439 --> 1:46:42.800 there are trans meant that are getting pregnant. But when 1:46:42.920 --> 1:46:46.799 a man comes into the yard and says, hey, I'm pregnant, 1:46:47.439 --> 1:46:53.960 they're like, no, I'm serious. Um, so you think nigga 1:46:54.400 --> 1:46:59.600 like us said fix me right. Yeah, we had a 1:46:59.640 --> 1:47:01.800 trans in out here. I run shout out to Rush 1:47:01.920 --> 1:47:06.360 London from b K Chat that nigga looked, boy, I'm 1:47:06.760 --> 1:47:09.800 gonna be real most I haven't seen any black trans men, 1:47:09.920 --> 1:47:12.680 just like a lot of white but like, fuck, you 1:47:13.000 --> 1:47:15.360 just had it and it was funish and he had 1:47:15.400 --> 1:47:18.000 a British accent and all I could think to myself 1:47:18.160 --> 1:47:20.599 was like, I don't give a but what he got 1:47:20.640 --> 1:47:22.439 going on because everybody's like, do he how do you 1:47:22.439 --> 1:47:24.800 get a dick? Did it? I was like, who cares? 1:47:25.200 --> 1:47:26.960 Then he looks so good, I'll make it work. I 1:47:27.040 --> 1:47:30.240 feel like women are more accepting, like just going something 1:47:30.360 --> 1:47:34.479 like that because it's it's just more pressure because women 1:47:34.520 --> 1:47:37.880 aren't judged for for not in that way. Women are 1:47:37.920 --> 1:47:43.920 judged everything but sexual right Sexually, women are not. We're 1:47:44.960 --> 1:47:47.640 essential essential. It's like, oh, that's sex. This was so 1:47:48.720 --> 1:47:53.599 enlightening for me because you know, I wanna be an 1:47:53.640 --> 1:47:55.519 ally and make sure I'm saying the right things. But 1:47:55.600 --> 1:47:57.320 I learned a lot. You couldn't tell me the game 1:47:57.320 --> 1:48:02.360 and he didn't make makeup every palette I got. It 1:48:02.439 --> 1:48:05.240 was the nigga behind it, like nah this yeah, we 1:48:05.320 --> 1:48:09.280 name it and honey, love the fuck that's my favorite lipstick. Honestly, 1:48:09.640 --> 1:48:11.759 I think a lot of people needed this too, because 1:48:11.760 --> 1:48:14.639 I think we covered questions that were uncomfortable to ask 1:48:15.080 --> 1:48:17.519 and not so fun, you know what I mean. And 1:48:17.640 --> 1:48:20.320 I think like you want to hear the things like oh, 1:48:20.400 --> 1:48:22.160 tell us about the NIA was on the DL and 1:48:22.240 --> 1:48:24.880 did it up? But it ain't really the conversation is 1:48:24.960 --> 1:48:28.400 needed more than That's more the novelty like tell us 1:48:28.479 --> 1:48:30.800 the fucking tea more than like teach us. That's why 1:48:30.840 --> 1:48:32.400 I was excited with like, you hit me up because 1:48:32.400 --> 1:48:36.200 I knew that you wanted to have a conversation that 1:48:36.320 --> 1:48:38.559 was going to be different. I did because I usually 1:48:38.560 --> 1:48:40.360 have the force people I have this conversation. I knew 1:48:40.400 --> 1:48:42.240 that you wanted like it was your intention to have 1:48:42.400 --> 1:48:44.960 this conversation. Were so my intention because I think there's 1:48:45.000 --> 1:48:48.280 a very glamorous thing that can happen when you want 1:48:48.280 --> 1:48:50.600 to have a trans want on highlight how awesome she 1:48:50.840 --> 1:48:53.400 is and that she's the same, but I wanted to 1:48:53.479 --> 1:48:56.320 talk about exactly why she's different and how it's different 1:48:56.400 --> 1:48:58.840 from what we do every day, how it's different from 1:48:58.880 --> 1:49:02.719 me being Light's intermixed, difference from you being assists head 1:49:03.720 --> 1:49:06.439 black man. We are black in the day, but everybody's 1:49:06.439 --> 1:49:08.519 walking a different paths here. But like, no, I mean, 1:49:08.560 --> 1:49:09.800 it's great, and I can't wait to hear you on 1:49:09.880 --> 1:49:13.680 So Shameless too. It's definitely gonna invite it. It's So 1:49:13.760 --> 1:49:15.960 Shameless podcast. I'm trying to think what angle are you 1:49:16.000 --> 1:49:20.080 about to take? I'm not sure because I gotta listen back. 1:49:23.040 --> 1:49:25.680 Nah nah see, I'm well, I'm definitely about respect I 1:49:25.680 --> 1:49:27.599 don't like bringing people on my show to disrespect them. 1:49:28.600 --> 1:49:30.240 That was the only reason I felt bad about having 1:49:30.280 --> 1:49:33.679 that girl back, going here, Oh you're gonna I wasn't 1:49:33.680 --> 1:49:36.360 gonna be disrespectful. But I know that I knew that 1:49:36.400 --> 1:49:42.720 I would dance around. I don't know. I feel like 1:49:42.720 --> 1:49:44.800 it would have been difficult for her to dance around 1:49:44.800 --> 1:49:47.040 a lot of the questions I would have. I just can't. 1:49:47.240 --> 1:49:49.360 It's really hard for me when black women start that ship. 1:49:49.439 --> 1:49:52.160 But see, that's the thing. You got to have educational moments, 1:49:52.240 --> 1:49:54.040 and and that's where we are, and the fact that 1:49:54.080 --> 1:49:56.960 we have our platforms, and I think the people were 1:49:57.000 --> 1:49:59.920 really intelligent. You know a lot of times ignorance people 1:50:00.120 --> 1:50:03.639 hide behind it. Right, He'll take like a fucking white 1:50:03.640 --> 1:50:06.080 supremacist and can break it down. But I don't feel 1:50:06.200 --> 1:50:09.280 like I'm that suave enough to sit in front of 1:50:09.360 --> 1:50:12.040 somebody that I know is transphobic, in front of a 1:50:12.120 --> 1:50:15.040 trans woman, like I don't think I could do it, 1:50:15.520 --> 1:50:18.559 because immediately I was gonna say I was gonna, let's 1:50:18.600 --> 1:50:20.920 be very clear, you think she would. People are real 1:50:21.040 --> 1:50:23.120 easy at being keyboard gangsters when a person is not 1:50:23.200 --> 1:50:25.320 in their face. But I've never run into Like even 1:50:25.400 --> 1:50:28.600 some of the hardest niggas, like they'll say whatever they 1:50:28.680 --> 1:50:31.280 want to say online, but they'll see that same old 1:50:31.320 --> 1:50:33.760 game board Day was talking too and be like, man, 1:50:33.920 --> 1:50:36.000 I going somewhere with that, Like you know, but it's 1:50:36.080 --> 1:50:38.720 never the same, It's never the same energy. Now. The Internet, really, 1:50:39.479 --> 1:50:42.240 the Internet emboldens people to feel because they don't feel 1:50:42.240 --> 1:50:44.000 like like, oh she and d C, I'm never going 1:50:44.040 --> 1:50:45.479 to meet this. All I do when people talk to 1:50:45.720 --> 1:50:47.919 me aline is like when I'm alive, it's like requests 1:50:47.920 --> 1:50:50.240 to go alive with them, and then when they answered, 1:50:50.240 --> 1:50:57.320 they be like, yo eezy wild you know you're not 1:50:57.439 --> 1:51:03.000 you're cute. Um, so I want us to all drop 1:51:03.120 --> 1:51:06.000 our ship. Um, I want to tell you guys something. 1:51:06.760 --> 1:51:09.320 So I've been working on this new podcast I've told 1:51:09.360 --> 1:51:11.320 some of you guys. It's called I'm ducked Up. It's 1:51:11.320 --> 1:51:14.600 just the season, And it started from me getting so 1:51:14.760 --> 1:51:16.599 fucked up on i G Live and telling these dumbass 1:51:16.720 --> 1:51:19.120 drunk as stories. Right, So I'm like, Okay, I want 1:51:19.160 --> 1:51:21.200 to do something alone with nobody in the room whatever. 1:51:21.600 --> 1:51:24.080 So I recorded all this content and they got'm fucked up, 1:51:24.240 --> 1:51:29.479 Like fu up story. It's really bad. But um, I 1:51:29.600 --> 1:51:33.439 ended up all the shift content I had got sucked up, 1:51:33.479 --> 1:51:36.160 don't want to talk about it. So I'm redoing the stories. 1:51:36.200 --> 1:51:38.280 And now each episode I'm doing is gonna be based 1:51:38.320 --> 1:51:40.759 on one thing. For example, it could be the category, 1:51:40.800 --> 1:51:44.840 could be ship, it could be gay, it could be um, 1:51:45.040 --> 1:51:48.240 I don't know a time that you cried. And basically 1:51:48.320 --> 1:51:51.519 one story is me alone and the others be featuring somebody. 1:51:51.920 --> 1:51:54.040 So if you have a story that you would like 1:51:54.120 --> 1:51:56.720 to share with me, and you live in New York 1:51:56.920 --> 1:51:59.880 or somewhere, I could take a train to not Feeling Never, 1:52:00.000 --> 1:52:02.840 I mean a train like in New York, I want 1:52:02.880 --> 1:52:05.720 to come and um, yeah I get your side of 1:52:05.760 --> 1:52:07.720 the story. I barely talk. I just want you to 1:52:08.120 --> 1:52:10.200 let it all out. But um, it's been really fun 1:52:11.120 --> 1:52:13.280 and I need some more content for it. So yeah, 1:52:13.760 --> 1:52:15.320 I'm gonna tell you. Do you know how hard it 1:52:15.479 --> 1:52:18.160 is to like be drunk and also have to record 1:52:18.200 --> 1:52:20.240 yourself because I can't come to a studio, you know 1:52:20.280 --> 1:52:22.320 what I'm saying. So I just get funked up in 1:52:22.400 --> 1:52:25.040 my house. Think I'm recording go on for thirty minutes. 1:52:25.040 --> 1:52:27.960 I'll be like, wow, that shouldn't even on. Ain't no 1:52:28.040 --> 1:52:33.120 red light is terrible and people be like, yo, where 1:52:33.280 --> 1:52:34.840 is it? And I'd be like, dog, I thought I 1:52:34.920 --> 1:52:39.600 had content, But it's just like a lot of production 1:52:39.720 --> 1:52:41.639 because you have to weed out, like there's sometimes when 1:52:41.680 --> 1:52:43.240 you can't tell what I'm saying, so I had to 1:52:43.280 --> 1:52:45.479 input my own voice, like oh the word that I said, 1:52:46.880 --> 1:52:48.920 that's how up I sounded. So it's just a lot 1:52:49.040 --> 1:52:51.719 of um work. So yes, if you guys have a story, 1:52:51.840 --> 1:52:54.320 write me the Wheezy w t F at gmail dot 1:52:54.360 --> 1:52:57.280 com for your home mail. There is none today because 1:52:57.280 --> 1:52:59.680 all y'all sending questions and those two horrible decisions at 1:52:59.720 --> 1:53:02.280 GM dot com. Let's start with Taho. Where can they 1:53:02.320 --> 1:53:03.960 find you? And what stuff do you have coming up? 1:53:04.120 --> 1:53:06.280 And you just did your live show. Oh yeah, my 1:53:06.600 --> 1:53:10.320 my name is Taho Underscore TV on all platforms. Um 1:53:11.120 --> 1:53:14.400 I have this so shameless podcast with miss dager Bell 1:53:14.840 --> 1:53:18.960 bisexual woman and uh my my my other friend DJ 1:53:19.120 --> 1:53:22.080 Trauma NYC. And we just talk a bisexual mom. I 1:53:22.160 --> 1:53:24.120 feel like that's important. I like that you have a 1:53:24.200 --> 1:53:28.120 mom on she reads me to filth every week. You know, 1:53:28.320 --> 1:53:32.360 we we have really interested in uh conversations from a 1:53:32.439 --> 1:53:35.200 friend point of view that aren't scared to argue and 1:53:35.280 --> 1:53:37.320 get down to the nitty greedy about some real ship. 1:53:37.920 --> 1:53:41.479 And so, you know, it's one of those podcasts where 1:53:41.479 --> 1:53:44.840 you're you're on one person's side and you're yelling at them, 1:53:45.080 --> 1:53:46.920 and the other person has a bunch of other people, 1:53:46.960 --> 1:53:49.360 maybe people in your family and the other person's side, 1:53:49.360 --> 1:53:51.439 and they're yelling at you. And you know, I will 1:53:51.479 --> 1:53:54.280 say this, your podcast gets me in my feelings, not 1:53:54.400 --> 1:53:56.559 like emotionally, but like sometimes i'll listen to it, I'll 1:53:56.560 --> 1:53:59.080 be annoyed and sometimes but I like things like that. 1:53:59.640 --> 1:54:02.000 When you fel something this controversial. It's one of those 1:54:02.000 --> 1:54:03.240 things where you go to work and be like, what 1:54:03.320 --> 1:54:08.720 do you think about this? I'm the seeker. I'd be like, right, right, No, 1:54:09.320 --> 1:54:11.360 I know you'll be doing us to us. And you know, 1:54:11.439 --> 1:54:13.519 that's why it's called so shameless, because we do what 1:54:13.640 --> 1:54:16.120 most people are scared to do in today's society, save 1:54:16.200 --> 1:54:19.120 what's on people's minds. You know, people, everybody's like kind 1:54:19.160 --> 1:54:21.920 of programmed, and I don't really believe that it's all real, because, 1:54:22.320 --> 1:54:24.080 like I said, you'll act one way in front of 1:54:24.120 --> 1:54:26.799 people and then behind closed doors be a whole completely 1:54:26.840 --> 1:54:31.800 different way or be um um influenced in a whole 1:54:31.840 --> 1:54:34.600 different way than what's real. I just I just we 1:54:34.760 --> 1:54:38.320 like keeping it fucking funky. I so shameless, and we 1:54:38.440 --> 1:54:41.880 hope to have hope on the show, Dods begging me 1:54:42.000 --> 1:54:45.360 to be here today, and I really wish she wanted 1:54:45.360 --> 1:54:46.640 to be. She wanted to hope to be with us 1:54:47.680 --> 1:54:52.000 because we're supposed to be called today. We don't by Dodge, 1:54:52.040 --> 1:54:55.800 can't wait to hug you, talk to you. It's just hope. 1:54:55.800 --> 1:54:58.440 It's so inspiring, you know. I think it's just because 1:54:58.520 --> 1:55:01.920 like you say everything that we really want you to 1:55:01.960 --> 1:55:05.520 say without, in my opinion, being defensive. Like I think 1:55:05.560 --> 1:55:08.840 that I've seen some trans women be annoyed when to dude, 1:55:08.880 --> 1:55:09.960 just like I don't know if I could be to 1:55:09.960 --> 1:55:13.160 trans women like well why not? It was like that, 1:55:13.160 --> 1:55:14.720 I don't want to why it's not for me. I'm 1:55:14.800 --> 1:55:16.760 so glad we had this conversation me too. Where can 1:55:16.800 --> 1:55:18.800 they find you, Hope? I know you got a book. Um, 1:55:19.000 --> 1:55:21.640 I'm gonna put that information in the description, but like, yeah, 1:55:21.680 --> 1:55:23.360 tell people where they can find you when you have 1:55:23.520 --> 1:55:27.000 upcoming and like it is hope disguised for those of you. 1:55:27.200 --> 1:55:29.280 I don't how to spell disguise D I S g 1:55:29.480 --> 1:55:32.600 U I S E D hope disguise all one word 1:55:33.440 --> 1:55:36.000 on every single social media platform that you could possibly think. 1:55:36.000 --> 1:55:39.000 I try to keep it easy. Hope this Hope gisele 1:55:39.160 --> 1:55:42.560 dot com for people who don't g I S E 1:55:42.920 --> 1:55:45.440 l l E. We're gonna put that like when you're 1:55:45.480 --> 1:55:47.480 listening to the episode, you can always, like I think, 1:55:47.840 --> 1:55:49.920 swipe up on it and it will show the info 1:55:50.000 --> 1:55:51.800 and those things will be in there. Boom, so all 1:55:51.880 --> 1:55:55.280 of that, and then the book is available on Amazon, Eyebooks, 1:55:55.720 --> 1:55:59.640 my website, UM, certain Barns and Nobles, because I think 1:55:59.680 --> 1:56:01.960 most of them have sold out of it. Um. But 1:56:02.040 --> 1:56:05.080 the book is called Becoming Hope Removing the Disguise. You 1:56:05.120 --> 1:56:08.040 see that flex I can't mean since it's so sold out. 1:56:09.960 --> 1:56:11.960 And I think the latest thing that I have coming 1:56:12.040 --> 1:56:15.160 up I will be on the Own Network September seventh. 1:56:17.720 --> 1:56:19.480 It is just it's like a it's a little clip. 1:56:19.520 --> 1:56:22.200 They're just using a clip. UM on the own network. 1:56:22.240 --> 1:56:26.280 They're having uh this new series called Black Women Owned 1:56:26.320 --> 1:56:29.600 the Conversation. UM. My episode is episode three. It's the 1:56:29.760 --> 1:56:32.320 LGBT episode featuring Angelica Ross and a couple of other 1:56:32.480 --> 1:56:35.280 like inspiring women. Um, but I will be on that 1:56:35.360 --> 1:56:37.720 episode that no More. By the way, so I just 1:56:37.760 --> 1:56:44.360 said op nigga, it's just a no, it's opra. But yeah, 1:56:44.480 --> 1:56:46.600 so that's like the closest thing that I have coming up. 1:56:46.640 --> 1:56:50.000 And apparently they're so stame this podcast. Yeah, I think 1:56:50.000 --> 1:56:51.760 you need a link with all podcasters. I'm sure we 1:56:51.840 --> 1:56:54.280 all feel inspired. I would love for you to get 1:56:54.280 --> 1:56:58.160 in the room and read some dumb niggas. I really would, seriously, 1:56:58.360 --> 1:57:00.680 Like I really, we're going to have some conversation. I 1:57:00.760 --> 1:57:03.920 know a lot of my my listeners they're dealing with 1:57:04.200 --> 1:57:06.120 their own true so they're gonna hit me up, like yo, 1:57:07.720 --> 1:57:10.720 I'm gonny to have those conversations. And it's crazy because 1:57:10.800 --> 1:57:12.600 I'm the one saying this and they know me from 1:57:12.680 --> 1:57:15.200 Nord so they're like, yo, yo, what's up with you? 1:57:16.000 --> 1:57:17.760 And I'm kind of on something like yo, bro, Like 1:57:18.120 --> 1:57:19.640 like I said, what do you want them to do? 1:57:21.080 --> 1:57:23.040 And why does it make you so mad? I know 1:57:23.920 --> 1:57:25.840 I think that, Like that's a bad Like that's a 1:57:25.960 --> 1:57:29.680 valid ask question. Really, why doesn't make you so mad? 1:57:29.760 --> 1:57:32.360 What the next person is doing? You want them to? Like, 1:57:33.120 --> 1:57:35.320 we're here, this is where we live at and I'd 1:57:35.400 --> 1:57:38.720 much rather educate my friends. My children got kids. I 1:57:38.760 --> 1:57:40.960 don't want my kids going up hateful. You know, I 1:57:41.000 --> 1:57:42.480 don't want to be the new white man. I don't 1:57:42.480 --> 1:57:46.120 want to be the new race. One of the most 1:57:46.160 --> 1:57:47.960 important things you said today. That's right, you have two 1:57:48.000 --> 1:57:53.960 three kids? You have three or four? Boy? Let's move on? Yeah, 1:57:54.160 --> 1:57:58.280 what do you mean? We're about to go? But like, 1:57:58.360 --> 1:58:00.800 for real, you got three or for are you have 1:58:00.880 --> 1:58:02.520 a test underway or you just don't know if you 1:58:02.560 --> 1:58:06.840 have before? You know? I think, oh my god, this 1:58:06.920 --> 1:58:12.840 is what episode. I'd like the number? Thank you, me too, 1:58:13.360 --> 1:58:17.640 but three or four? All right, y'all. Check out this 1:58:17.680 --> 1:58:19.880 Patreon clip me and man, you're gonna be in and 1:58:19.960 --> 1:58:32.120 I guess uh but bye. Kevin So, Kevin Um is 1:58:32.240 --> 1:58:35.920 battling with his sexuality and although he has never been 1:58:36.000 --> 1:58:41.240 with a man, Kevin Um decides to come forward to chair. 1:58:42.560 --> 1:58:47.760 So he's on grinder, so you see him become really 1:58:47.920 --> 1:58:50.680 enthralled into his phone and he's swiping a lot, but 1:58:50.840 --> 1:58:53.640 on these gay mail apps, so he has not yet 1:58:53.760 --> 1:58:58.200 acted on penis. But he's like like, is this what 1:58:58.320 --> 1:59:00.720 I want? Is it not what I want? You see 1:59:00.800 --> 1:59:03.360 him kind of have these different interactions with men that 1:59:03.520 --> 1:59:06.640 come onto the scene in different um cases as well. 1:59:07.520 --> 1:59:11.600 And so finally he comes forward to Charity while she's pregnant, 1:59:12.440 --> 1:59:16.240 m ad. She's about to hop hop she she maybe 1:59:16.760 --> 1:59:18.880 how she got pregnant though he seems so and I 1:59:19.000 --> 1:59:21.400 feel like you in the beginning was in season one 1:59:21.560 --> 1:59:23.400 when he like they're having sex and then he like 1:59:23.800 --> 1:59:29.240 rolls over and he's like back on. That's so they're 1:59:29.320 --> 1:59:32.440 trying to have a baby. They're having sex. But as 1:59:32.480 --> 1:59:34.480 soon as they're done having sex, he does he rolls 1:59:34.520 --> 1:59:38.280 over and gets back on this grinder act to swipe men. 1:59:39.080 --> 1:59:43.560 So she thinks he's She thinks he's cheating because she's like, 1:59:43.680 --> 1:59:47.600 you've been in your phone? Is it? Give me your phone? 1:59:48.040 --> 1:59:49.960 Which again, this could this is a lot of things 1:59:50.000 --> 1:59:51.720 that happened in a lot of couples. You see your 1:59:51.760 --> 1:59:54.280 man change pattern and he's in his phone. Now, nigga, 1:59:54.280 --> 1:59:56.440 who you want to file with exactly because normally I'll 1:59:56.440 --> 1:59:58.280 be putting your ask to sleep. So what you're doing now? 2:00:00.040 --> 2:00:02.400 She didn't know that he was swiping, so basically right, 2:00:02.760 --> 2:00:04.680 she had to be what seven eight months right before 2:00:05.120 --> 2:00:11.280 water breaking with twins, Kevin comes to charity, and it's like, 2:00:12.360 --> 2:00:15.120 I just I don't know what's wrong with me, but 2:00:15.840 --> 2:00:19.280 I have feelings for men. He didn't say he was 2:00:19.360 --> 2:00:23.360 having sex with men. He just knew that he was 2:00:23.440 --> 2:00:31.360 having some sort of weird curiosity sexual arousal from men. 2:00:32.200 --> 2:00:35.440 UM and so although he does not act on this immediately, 2:00:36.280 --> 2:00:40.200 she kind of doesn't know how to react. So before 2:00:40.280 --> 2:00:44.040 we dig into this UM, as you guys know, this 2:00:44.200 --> 2:00:46.880 is something that I've talked about on the podcast quite 2:00:46.920 --> 2:00:49.600 a lot. UM. I feel like that I am a 2:00:49.680 --> 2:00:52.840 woman who would be open to dating a man who 2:00:53.040 --> 2:00:56.800 was either experimenting, curious, has dealt with other men in 2:00:56.880 --> 2:01:00.000 the past, or has dealt with or curious and trans women. 2:01:00.040 --> 2:01:03.200 And UM, these are all also facts to men who 2:01:03.280 --> 2:01:05.520 have previously been on my phone over the last I 2:01:05.560 --> 2:01:07.840 would say ten years. UM, I have gotten them to 2:01:07.880 --> 2:01:11.680 open up about this. UM. So, as someone in banking 2:01:12.360 --> 2:01:16.920 and someone in law, we have too smart, brilliant UM 2:01:17.560 --> 2:01:21.000 minority women here. I want to know you guys just 2:01:21.160 --> 2:01:24.080 take on. If a man came to you and let 2:01:24.160 --> 2:01:26.120 you know that he was either interested in men or 2:01:26.240 --> 2:01:29.880 trans or questioned his sexuality, is that something that you 2:01:29.920 --> 2:01:32.760 would move forward with and why or why not, um 2:01:33.200 --> 2:01:37.320 who wants to take this first? Um? Back in the day, 2:01:37.560 --> 2:01:39.200 I would be like, hey, no, get the funk on 2:01:39.280 --> 2:01:41.560 my face. But they just said I listen to horrible decisions. 2:01:41.560 --> 2:01:44.920 And no, I'm serious, Like I think as I've gotten older, 2:01:45.080 --> 2:01:48.320 I've evolved sexually, like as you should as you get older, 2:01:48.360 --> 2:01:51.160 like it gets better, you learn more stuff. So now 2:01:51.480 --> 2:01:54.200 I'm I'm okay with it. Like now I'll be like, okay, 2:01:54.320 --> 2:01:56.280 like how you want to do this? Do you wan? 2:01:56.800 --> 2:01:58.560 Do you want me there? Do you not want me there? 2:01:58.600 --> 2:02:00.760 Because before I would have been like hell no, like 2:02:01.160 --> 2:02:02.960 I can't deal with it, Like there's something a man 2:02:03.200 --> 2:02:05.360 has that I can't give you. But if it's just 2:02:05.480 --> 2:02:09.120 something you you feel like you can't truly be yourself, 2:02:09.920 --> 2:02:12.040 who am I to stop you from doing that? Because 2:02:12.040 --> 2:02:14.120 you're not going to be living in yourself. Here's my question. 2:02:14.720 --> 2:02:16.520 If you know you can't give him what a man 2:02:16.640 --> 2:02:19.560 may give him, would you be okay with being in 2:02:19.640 --> 2:02:22.600 the room with him and another man? Or oh you 2:02:22.640 --> 2:02:29.560 would today? And so no, like