Speaker 1: All right, you guys, welcome to Horrible Decisions. My name
Speaker 1: is Wheezy. Mandy is in l A right now, but
Speaker 1: I'm here with two Levely guests. Um, I feel like
Speaker 1: I should do some a kas because Mandy. I don't
Speaker 1: do a ks, but Mandy does do y'all have an Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try. I know what one of my AK
Speaker 1: is going to be today. Well, I'm a self proclaimed imojo,
Speaker 1: but you could call me pH Patty spiritual, gangster sensitive thing.
Speaker 1: Mrs um what else I got? You definitely have a case.
Speaker 1: That's it. Give me another one, Give me one, uh
Speaker 1: trouble model good light skin Flynn. I'm calling it light
Speaker 1: skin Flynn. I'm done. First of all, I Hope I
Speaker 1: was on your team. Baby. So we got Tahoe in
Speaker 1: the building. If you don't know his boys, um from
Speaker 1: the So Shameless podcast, and we have a special guest here, Hope,
Speaker 1: please introduce yourself to the pe was good? He was Goody.
Speaker 1: My name is Hope. This guy to be at the
Speaker 1: social media aka both Bitch in Training. Oh, everybody got
Speaker 1: a K I gotta I gotta come up with something.
Speaker 1: I don't have one because like I just did that
Speaker 1: because Mandy and she always dow hers. I got nothing.
Speaker 1: I got nothing. She's Pegg the Stallion. I'm partial. Pegger
Speaker 1: might peg might not what we always have to talk
Speaker 1: about Peggan, but that's her anyway, fun the Peggan Today
Speaker 1: we aren't talking about Peggan today. Today is a very
Speaker 1: special episode, um, because I'm sure it'll be someone in
Speaker 1: the title, Um, we have a black trans woman in
Speaker 1: the studio with us. I believe our last trans woman
Speaker 1: that came to the studio was Latina, so I'm super excited.
Speaker 1: She might have been after Latina. But I'm just super
Speaker 1: excited to have Hope here. I met Hope in Tahoe's
Speaker 1: Live I g live and they were having a great
Speaker 1: dialogue going, and I'm just really excited for him to
Speaker 1: be here because, Um, y'all might be tired of this nigga.
Speaker 1: I don't know, you might be, but I feel like
Speaker 1: having assists hetero supermask Brooklyn nigga is really vital to
Speaker 1: the conversation because men like Tahoe not necessarily like you,
Speaker 1: but now you didn't gotta clean it up, I mean
Speaker 1: like someone that I mean. It was It was an
Speaker 1: interesting live. We started and somebody came on Alive and
Speaker 1: was like what is Oh, so their man had sex
Speaker 1: with a dude before or something like that, and it
Speaker 1: was like, is that gay? And so I started asking
Speaker 1: the followers and one of my dude, he's from Harlem
Speaker 1: and he's super hood. Yeah, yeo, that's gay. That's gay.
Speaker 1: Is good. I was like, well, why is it gay?
Speaker 1: If a dude could do it, if it's just one time,
Speaker 1: he couldn't have been curious. We went into that. Then
Speaker 1: a girl jumped in my homegirl Becca, and she was
Speaker 1: super homophobic. It was I'm gonna be respectful when you
Speaker 1: come on here, Becca, but I saw her using words
Speaker 1: like shim Yeah. She was like she learned from a
Speaker 1: lot from Well we spoke after this. She was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: you know what I didn't think about things. Yo, we
Speaker 1: all need a chance to have learning moments, and a
Speaker 1: lot of this stuff we don't have that. Like literally,
Speaker 1: people you're around the same type of thinging people all
Speaker 1: the time, there are there's a very little chance for
Speaker 1: you to have learning moments in the same crew. And
Speaker 1: that's what today is so important because so many trans
Speaker 1: women are dying and it is probably mean that you've
Speaker 1: grown up with look like you can act like you
Speaker 1: walk and talk like you. So I think it'll be
Speaker 1: great to have this conversation and understand that trains women
Speaker 1: are people. Black trains women are part of our Black
Speaker 1: Lives Matter ship that we tweet about all day long,
Speaker 1: and we just got to make sure that we're not
Speaker 1: for the cause and being hypocrites at the same time.
Speaker 1: I do it all the time. I'm talking about everybody,
Speaker 1: but I've been trying. So, like I said, I was
Speaker 1: talking about it um on my show I Believe and
Speaker 1: I told Mouse was there and I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: I'm holding phobic and he was like, you are not,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yo, I kind of got to
Speaker 1: own the fact that my mind still hasn't opened up
Speaker 1: to fully understanding, of fully comprehending or fully accepting. But
Speaker 1: I feel like you have to. You have to know
Speaker 1: yourself on that because that way what you do that
Speaker 1: you can say, all right, this is where I'm wrong
Speaker 1: and that's where I want to be. But it's not
Speaker 1: as easy just to say because you people still have
Speaker 1: homeoph with tendencies. People still think a certain way. I
Speaker 1: might be cool with hope, and then when my man
Speaker 1: do something like, yeah, that's mad gay. Like you still
Speaker 1: attributing bad to the word gay, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So they still I mean, don't get me wrong, I've
Speaker 1: had slip ups and things like that by like gay
Speaker 1: and it's like culturally we say ship like that, but
Speaker 1: by no means a by that person. I told a
Speaker 1: joke on the show recently, I have gay friends, did you?
Speaker 1: I might do that, but I'm not that person. I
Speaker 1: go to fucking kind regards. I'm in Brooklyn, it's nine.
Speaker 1: It was a heat wave. I think it was a
Speaker 1: hundred degrees that night. So these niggas is kissing in
Speaker 1: the club and I was staring at them right and
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, hot, this fun. I can't beleave these
Speaker 1: niggas kissing. They're looking at me watch them kiss, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, no, it's not because you're gay.
Speaker 1: I have gay friends. I'm totally everything. Just wanted to
Speaker 1: fight me. Know. I felt so bad. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm well, but it's literally I like, you don't understand
Speaker 1: have gay pride. I was that bit. I felt bad,
Speaker 1: But anyway, let's hump into vanilla ship. Um So this
Speaker 1: week I found this on Twitter. I don't know. If
Speaker 1: you guys know who shann Booty is, do you? She's
Speaker 1: a popular sexologist. Um, she's fucking dope. We've had her
Speaker 1: on the show. New author of the book Game of
Speaker 1: the Desire, she is a sexologist who uses vagina juice
Speaker 1: as perfume and says it's a delicious secret. My ex
Speaker 1: uster us has come the same line, where do you
Speaker 1: put it like on his like temples, in the back
Speaker 1: of his neck and like right around his hairline? And yes,
Speaker 1: did you want to scream gay? That? I kind of
Speaker 1: know when I'm not supposed to say nothing. So when
Speaker 1: I saw the headline, I didn't know it's gonna be
Speaker 1: my homegirl. But let's see, struggling to attract a mate,
Speaker 1: have you considered a new look, maybe learned Spanish? Perhaps
Speaker 1: you should just try rubbing pussy juice on your neck.
Speaker 1: Sexologist Shannon Boo Drum claims that people have flocked to
Speaker 1: her when she's wearing the bodily fragrance. In order to
Speaker 1: test the theory, she had women that she was doing
Speaker 1: a survey with going to a bar to connect with
Speaker 1: strangers before gathering. They went into the toilets halfway through
Speaker 1: the night. Um, basically to stick their fingers around their
Speaker 1: vaginal opening. The goal is to get a sample from
Speaker 1: the bartholonans grant ship Shann I'm sorry barthol loon in
Speaker 1: glands which are the size of a p but they
Speaker 1: play a large role in vaginal lubrication. Um. She concluded,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure how effective this is. I'm certain that
Speaker 1: every single single time I do, it makes me feel
Speaker 1: like an enchanted goddess with a delicious secret. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I will tell you they sell
Speaker 1: pheromones in a spray that I just kind of feel like,
Speaker 1: all right, you're in the club and you're walking around
Speaker 1: smelling like pussy. Of course people are gonna be flocked
Speaker 1: to you because you're making them think of fucking like
Speaker 1: you smell like pussy. Why wouldn't not be attracted like you?
Speaker 1: You're making me thinks. I don't think you distinctly smell.
Speaker 1: It's I think it's like you don't know what you're smelling.
Speaker 1: It's like almost like when I'm passing by like a
Speaker 1: basketball court, right and I could smell the sweat or
Speaker 1: like I'm it may not mean any smelling dick, but
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, it feels I smell something musky, like
Speaker 1: there's a I mean, we're fucking animals, nig there's a
Speaker 1: difference between must like musty and like, no, no, we
Speaker 1: like the not must Wait, you're telling me you don't
Speaker 1: like you've never noticed a woman draw towards you or
Speaker 1: your sweating. Oh yeah, because I look like an animal
Speaker 1: at that moment when I'm sweating, I look like I'm
Speaker 1: on some Yeah, I still got it in my hands. No,
Speaker 1: I just picked my front. We smell of box? Okay,
Speaker 1: do you like the smell of pussy? I love box,
Speaker 1: but I'm in the I'm actually liking that person at
Speaker 1: the time. Are you one of them niggas that like
Speaker 1: like war smell pus like? I don't. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know because everybody got their own smells, so I'm
Speaker 1: kind of open. I know when it's not supposed to
Speaker 1: smell like that, So I'm good on that as long
Speaker 1: as I know what it's not right from fish other
Speaker 1: than that shouldn't be fish ass. Things like that smell
Speaker 1: like your ass. Something that smell ass. When the girl
Speaker 1: took her drawers off before, what do you do? Do
Speaker 1: you ever give a warning like or do you give it,
Speaker 1: like the shower. Sometimes you and you're trying to like,
Speaker 1: oh man, because sometimes you don't want to hurt somebody feeling.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you think maybe it's just you, it's just this
Speaker 1: kind of but then you realize that it's not right.
Speaker 1: Something right and your body, my body, I'm older, my
Speaker 1: body reacts like that. It just takes one thing and
Speaker 1: I'm off. I'm not coming back. When's the last time
Speaker 1: you had to do it? Say it? Well, that was
Speaker 1: the last time it was it was recently. What do
Speaker 1: you say? Oh, I don't know, I'm drunk, That's what
Speaker 1: I said, because my sip wasn't get hard. You didn't
Speaker 1: tell her to shower. No, I don't want to. I
Speaker 1: don't want to. Yeah, it's dub and it was it
Speaker 1: wasn't my girl, and nobody's just run off. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's kind of like, all right, this ain't gonna work
Speaker 1: for us. Have you had to tell someone they was saying,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, when I was in college, I just told
Speaker 1: this story on my my I g lads the other
Speaker 1: day a little pizza. It was like a little piece
Speaker 1: of trade. He comes into my room, like I got
Speaker 1: to just getting off of the basketball court, smelling like
Speaker 1: straight dicking ass and I was like, oh no, you
Speaker 1: gotta go shower, and like Homie was just in his feelings.
Speaker 1: He was like, you really going to make me shower?
Speaker 1: Like I think it's like do you want it to
Speaker 1: go on my mouth? But that's what I'm saying. Like women,
Speaker 1: they're like salt like salt man. That okay, that first
Speaker 1: of all, you'll are very unhealthy walking about seasoning period.
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying women like especially after basketball, like
Speaker 1: you said, they're sweat and all that, they'd be like
Speaker 1: I've had a woman, you know moment, but you know,
Speaker 1: you know I'm gonna work for sanitation, right women, I've
Speaker 1: had women do me like, I want you to come
Speaker 1: have sex with me in your uniform? Y'all have this
Speaker 1: most sanitary people in the world. Hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on. They've said I want to have
Speaker 1: some in your garbage. Man has had a message from
Speaker 1: a woman that said I want you to suck me
Speaker 1: in your uniform? Or did she say I want you
Speaker 1: to suck me like in your uniform, Because maybe it's
Speaker 1: like a uniform fantasy, right, that's possible. That's possible. It
Speaker 1: better not be a garbage. That's the case. Stand outside
Speaker 1: on the corner and I said, I said that, like,
Speaker 1: that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 1: Let me ask, what's the weirdest thing has something ever
Speaker 1: like squirted on you. I've had maggots, roaches all that
Speaker 1: ship on me. It's disgusting. It ain't no way they
Speaker 1: pay you a lot though. I kicked the rat one day.
Speaker 1: The rat ran out from under the bag and I
Speaker 1: kicked it, and I didn't realize that there was a
Speaker 1: car open with the sunroof ship it landed on, so
Speaker 1: rats can't take kicks, so it died like on the way,
Speaker 1: but it landed on the sunroof, like right there with
Speaker 1: the dude in the car. He's good. I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I just seen. Oh we've seen a kind of ship.
Speaker 1: How long you working for the Deportment Sanitation Um? So
Speaker 1: our King of the week this week, if you guys
Speaker 1: have never heard our show, we pick a particular king
Speaker 1: that you may never heard of, or you might actually
Speaker 1: do yourself. This one is a little weird, but I
Speaker 1: actually found it in a porn category. Word. We all
Speaker 1: know guns as phallic shaped instruments usually display power It's
Speaker 1: no surprise that guns are heavily fetishized, although for obvious reason,
Speaker 1: exploring this fetish has an accompanying accompanying degree of risk attached.
Speaker 1: There's an endless kidnapping and rate fantasy porn on the
Speaker 1: Internet that features guys and girls being forced into sex
Speaker 1: at gunpoint. I'm that's me. I'm in the wait you
Speaker 1: said that's me. That's me. Now I'm be weird with you.
Speaker 1: I'm not attractive, like putting no gun on me, but
Speaker 1: I do like when nigs like have guns. It makes
Speaker 1: me feel safelous. Give me like, don't give me like
Speaker 1: a Trump supporter, like you know what I'm saying, You
Speaker 1: got a permit gun, Give me a nig saying that
Speaker 1: makes me feel like, oh my god, bibe got me.
Speaker 1: But I feel like if you got like went to
Speaker 1: school for your gun and did a test, like you
Speaker 1: might shoot me and blame it on that ship, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. But like a niggad it just
Speaker 1: got his ship. I don't know what it is. You
Speaker 1: picked it up from your cousin, baby. And I'm kind
Speaker 1: of good on woman because I was playing with a
Speaker 1: woman that said that she was going to pop up
Speaker 1: at my crib and so I got a little baby
Speaker 1: gun I found while I was working. So I got
Speaker 1: a BB gun and I sent her a picture to
Speaker 1: BB gun and she sent me a picture of the
Speaker 1: biggest gun I've ever seen in my life. And she
Speaker 1: was like, you don't want no smoke. I was like,
Speaker 1: I felt like I felt like she had a big
Speaker 1: addicting Yeah. I I was just kidding, was the biggest
Speaker 1: guy and she's just holding this ship. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the I mean? Good though, you send me a gun
Speaker 1: talking about I'm not now. I'm from Florida, so like
Speaker 1: everybody has a gun where you from Miami? Okay, so
Speaker 1: like everybody has a gun, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But in New York when niggas have I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's not legal anything else. That's why I really like
Speaker 1: to go about bote. You know, niggas getting real. Once
Speaker 1: I get to like Dike minudte ship, I was like,
Speaker 1: this suck ship, like niggas that don't speak English, and
Speaker 1: I know they're still like if I don't know what
Speaker 1: you're saying and you're still scaring me, that's too much. Um,
Speaker 1: So let's deep dive right into it. So first I
Speaker 1: want to start with Chyle, just to see what you
Speaker 1: think your orientation, your prone and your pronouns are. Can
Speaker 1: you tell us that what do you mean? So that's
Speaker 1: what start as far as what okay, what's your sexual orientation? Though? Um, heterosexual? Okay,
Speaker 1: good thinking about sists and stuff like that. So I'm right,
Speaker 1: I'm assist gender straighter, hetero sexual black man. These people
Speaker 1: used to when they're trying to dispete. We're gonna talk
Speaker 1: about that in a minute, because I'm tired of nig
Speaker 1: saying that ship it's true. Anytime they're using that, they're
Speaker 1: talking down on people. That's another way saying it's bastard use.
Speaker 1: That's when they use it on internet they let sick.
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about why that's problematic, but go ahead,
Speaker 1: Oh what are your pronouns and your sexual orientation? So
Speaker 1: she heard hers and I'm paying sexual pan sexual? What
Speaker 1: are your How old are you? By the way, six her,
Speaker 1: she her, hers, she her hers people. I believe she
Speaker 1: her and there's she knows, So day them is a
Speaker 1: completely different for comple people. Um, but she her and hers.
Speaker 1: It's just like the way you would address somebody in conversation.
Speaker 1: So that's right. I went to the movies with her,
Speaker 1: she left her things in my car. That's hers now,
Speaker 1: so I'll do she hurt and I'll say they just
Speaker 1: piss niggers off. Okay, So not to be offensive. Real question,
Speaker 1: if a guy looks at you and no notices that
Speaker 1: you are naturally a man, is that the right way
Speaker 1: to say it? If you're a man? If he sees
Speaker 1: a man when sees you, and he says he when
Speaker 1: referring to you, that's offensive. Now. See. I I have
Speaker 1: my own struggle with that when I first started transitioning
Speaker 1: and I was I remember being in a place where
Speaker 1: I remember telling my best friend's mom because she made
Speaker 1: a mistake one day when we were like having casual conversations.
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, boy, and I was like, no, it's
Speaker 1: okay because if that's what you see, and she's like no,
Speaker 1: like and she corrected me, and she's like no, like,
Speaker 1: this is what you're presenting and this is what you're
Speaker 1: gonna grow into, and so I'm gonna respect that. But
Speaker 1: that's always been like a weird line for me because
Speaker 1: I'm like, if that is what people see, right, and
Speaker 1: they're not being rude, like it's legitimately because with the
Speaker 1: way that people are dressing up these days, you don't
Speaker 1: know if it's just like a guy being feminine or
Speaker 1: what anymore. And so it's like, if that's what you see,
Speaker 1: then say like, I think that it's better to just
Speaker 1: recursor it with like they and them and then ask
Speaker 1: people or just to be like, what's your name, like
Speaker 1: just to avoid the idea of So I was told
Speaker 1: by a good gay friend of mine, Christopher. He said,
Speaker 1: I address people how they're presenting. She has makeup on,
Speaker 1: she has long hair, titties, I'm gonna go with. Now
Speaker 1: there's that's what I want to talk about. So there's
Speaker 1: a few terms I wrote down that I want to
Speaker 1: kind of dive into and if you can help us, hope. Um.
Speaker 1: Some are slurs like transvestite I've heard years ago. I
Speaker 1: don't hear that word anymore, but I want to talk
Speaker 1: about those as well. So can we first discuss um
Speaker 1: if you could tell the people gender versus sex? Because
Speaker 1: he said I know her gender, I don't know her.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna act like I don't know, but you didn't.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't get none of this. Terms like
Speaker 1: even the gender versus sex. So the gender is what
Speaker 1: you are, all right, gender is time presenting. Now, my
Speaker 1: sex is what I was assigned at birth. That's like
Speaker 1: when I came out, they smacked me on the It's like,
Speaker 1: this is what they said based on what was between
Speaker 1: my legs. And so those are the two different things,
Speaker 1: but generous how somebody is presenting right now, So I
Speaker 1: can assume that you're a man based off the way
Speaker 1: that you're presenting. I consume that Weezy as a woman
Speaker 1: based on the way that she's presenting. If they dressed
Speaker 1: like that, it's still a woman because she's my thing
Speaker 1: is she's a stud is still somebody who is a
Speaker 1: woman presenting masculinely, but it is still the undertone of
Speaker 1: that is a woman who was presenting in a masculine fashion,
Speaker 1: much like a gay man who might wear lip gloss
Speaker 1: or heels. But he's a man, right, Like he's still
Speaker 1: got feared maybe or what if you were born a
Speaker 1: guy and you had the surgery and everything. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So he so he's trying to say, I hear what
Speaker 1: you're saying. Um, When he brought up stud right, men
Speaker 1: women that are transitioning, you can tell a little bit more.
Speaker 1: They're growing facial hair, like you could kind of see
Speaker 1: that happening. Most studs I've noticed don't have a changing
Speaker 1: voice yet, Like they don't try to come off as
Speaker 1: men yet they try to come off as butch. So
Speaker 1: that's what I've gathered from that, much like gay men,
Speaker 1: And correct me if I'm wrong. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: They might wear makeup class certain tight shirts or whatever,
Speaker 1: but they're not wearing wigs or trying to look like
Speaker 1: women or bras. There just may have some feminine attributes,
Speaker 1: much like studs may have masculine attributes, So the dressing
Speaker 1: does not change. Sex would be sis male. I have
Speaker 1: so many questions. My my, my sex would be cis male.
Speaker 1: Now do you know the difference between when we say
Speaker 1: female and woman? No, I think it's not the same
Speaker 1: thing versus or is it animals. We first started the show,
Speaker 1: Sam White came on um who's a white guy activist
Speaker 1: for black people, and he said something about how he
Speaker 1: wasn't trying to say females anymore. This is two and
Speaker 1: a half years ago, and I was like, you don'body
Speaker 1: care because I didn't know female defines you about your genitalia.
Speaker 1: Woman defines you by your gender and how you're presenting. Right,
Speaker 1: So that's why some women don't have vaginas. What do
Speaker 1: you mean they don't have Females have vaginam All females
Speaker 1: have vaginas, have vaginas. Women. Oh, they present as a woman.
Speaker 1: So even though they have different body parts, because she's
Speaker 1: presenting herself as a woman, then that's how you address
Speaker 1: and look at you gold stars point all right, um,
Speaker 1: now gender during Since we got through that sexual orientation,
Speaker 1: can I ask a difficult question? Are we sure we're ready?
Speaker 1: Are we supposed? How are people supposed to notice? Like?
Speaker 1: How it in? It? Like? It seems to me that
Speaker 1: in homophobia or people who don't engage age in the
Speaker 1: active a task of understanding learning everything right is based
Speaker 1: on ignorance. Homophoonies based on how are they supposed to
Speaker 1: know all this stuff? Because people get mad at you
Speaker 1: for saying the wrong thing. I mean here, we're open here,
Speaker 1: people are supposed to know. But I think right now,
Speaker 1: after this you should know better. Right, Oh yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: doing my best, and the people that are listening this week,
Speaker 1: they don't know better after this but I think it
Speaker 1: just takes that teaching moment. I mean, how do you
Speaker 1: feel about that question, like are you because I know
Speaker 1: you go through some ship. I know you go through
Speaker 1: some ship, and I know it's like super So I
Speaker 1: want to address that it's the assumption that I do
Speaker 1: go through some ship, right, because essentially no. But it's
Speaker 1: important that we talk about this because I think what
Speaker 1: I don't want you to do, and what I don't
Speaker 1: want a lot of people to do, is think that
Speaker 1: we're hung up on the nuances. But we all hung
Speaker 1: up on the hung up on the nuances. It's like,
Speaker 1: as a black woman and as black people, we know
Speaker 1: when white people are saying something but not saying something right,
Speaker 1: And so as a trans person, I know when you're
Speaker 1: saying something but not saying something, or I can assume
Speaker 1: when you're saying something but not saying something. What did
Speaker 1: you think? So? But mainly because you're black, but mostly
Speaker 1: because he's a man, right, and I feel like he
Speaker 1: comes from a group of people that have taught him
Speaker 1: to feel a certain type of way about me, And
Speaker 1: so that comment came off as I know you, I
Speaker 1: know you go through some stuff, which means that I
Speaker 1: know that your trans and I know that people know
Speaker 1: that you trans, so I know you're going through on
Speaker 1: the street. So you're basically saying you ain't possible, and
Speaker 1: I know I would know you. But we had a
Speaker 1: conversation together and I felt the anger um coming from
Speaker 1: you from this situation, So that's why I said that.
Speaker 1: But I understand your point because I do come off
Speaker 1: that way and I do represent that, so I'm not
Speaker 1: going to run from that. But just between you and I,
Speaker 1: that was only because we had that conversation and we
Speaker 1: got to that point. Was he right? Listen, I respect you,
Speaker 1: I respect everything. But that's where that came from. It
Speaker 1: really wasn't from a judgment place. And I'm here, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about the word pass um, so
Speaker 1: in this room I want say it. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: do think I hope it's passing. I mean I for sure,
Speaker 1: and not everyone is, which really puts their lives at risk. However,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about how passing is not a compliment.
Speaker 1: Can you talk about that for us? And how someone's saying, wow,
Speaker 1: you really look like a girl is sucked up to me.
Speaker 1: It's it's a big issue because what it's saying is like,
Speaker 1: you're validating me and how you feel or how you
Speaker 1: think you should respect me based on the way that
Speaker 1: I look versus based on based on me being a
Speaker 1: human being. Right, So it's like people will choose to
Speaker 1: respect you based on the fact that you passed. So
Speaker 1: how did my had I been being rains in a
Speaker 1: wig right here? Your seat might be next to wheezy
Speaker 1: right now because of because of the way that because
Speaker 1: you can still tell that it's being rams or whatever.
Speaker 1: But then it's also like an insult because it's just
Speaker 1: like saying, like, oh my god, you are so I
Speaker 1: can't believe that you used to be because there's this
Speaker 1: ideology that all trans women look like being rains in
Speaker 1: a wig. There's this idea that we're not supposed to
Speaker 1: be attractive, we're not supposed to be wanted or you know,
Speaker 1: sought after, and that's just not true. But don't bring
Speaker 1: me down to my looks either. I want to ask another.
Speaker 1: So I'm just going to be the uncomfortable guy. Can
Speaker 1: I use that as an uncomfortable questions too? But but
Speaker 1: I feel like hope is open enough, and I feel
Speaker 1: like these questions I don't wonder what we miss do
Speaker 1: you identify as trans? Yes? Okay, so once you identify
Speaker 1: as trans, why is it offensive if somebody else identifies
Speaker 1: you as trains in a way. That's a great question.
Speaker 1: Boom boom boom. And it's something that I've actually been
Speaker 1: pondering with with myself for the last couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: That's with a new question because um, a college professor
Speaker 1: of mind tuned into one of my videos and she's like,
Speaker 1: you know, when are you going to stop identifying as
Speaker 1: a trans woman and just be a woman? And that
Speaker 1: question ate my ass up because I was like, but
Speaker 1: I'm an activist and I'm trying to you know whatever,
Speaker 1: and she was just like, yeah, but you can be
Speaker 1: an activist and still just like whatever. But it's also
Speaker 1: one of those things where I think for women whose
Speaker 1: sole goal, right my my sole goal in this life
Speaker 1: isn't a past. But there are some girls who literally
Speaker 1: are just transitioning just to blend in and not have
Speaker 1: to deal with any of the transgressions of trans folks.
Speaker 1: And they want to live in stealth and that's just
Speaker 1: how they want to live, and so it's important for
Speaker 1: them to pass because passing means that they've achieved that goal.
Speaker 1: Passing means that I don't have to deal with Nigga's
Speaker 1: bothering me on the street. It means that I can
Speaker 1: get a job. It means that healthcare will be afforded
Speaker 1: to me on certain spaces just based on the way
Speaker 1: that I look. And so it's important to pass because
Speaker 1: when I go to the airport, I don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about like that weird awkward thing when I get
Speaker 1: t s a checked, or I don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about being in an acting class and doing a kissing
Speaker 1: scene with everybody in the room knowing what I'm transis,
Speaker 1: so nobody wants to be my partner. It's about there's
Speaker 1: a bunch of nuances that go on, but passing, and
Speaker 1: so it's important for some people because passing takes away turmoil.
Speaker 1: I gotta go. I gotta go with this because when
Speaker 1: we say passing, um and maybe you've never heard that term,
Speaker 1: but no, I do. I get it. But then and
Speaker 1: then we're not identifying as trans because we want to
Speaker 1: go to full route right, you want to you want
Speaker 1: to wind up on the other side. I'm fully here.
Speaker 1: I don't have to worry about being uh for for
Speaker 1: anything else. I'm here, you identify me as this when
Speaker 1: you see me. Nobody wants to say trans to me,
Speaker 1: I'm a woman, right part of me for anything that
Speaker 1: might have said that was wrong there. But then you
Speaker 1: have the people who, if they would find out that
Speaker 1: you've passed, feel tricked because you have gotten now I
Speaker 1: want to talk about I think that's great. M one
Speaker 1: with dating insects and the other with work and other
Speaker 1: things that she should have. Big fan of pose. There's
Speaker 1: episode imposed where she she wants to run a nail
Speaker 1: shop and she does. She was passing to the person
Speaker 1: who rented it. Now the guy, the woman's son who
Speaker 1: you know, found out, he was like, oh that's a man.
Speaker 1: Ma gave her her money back, was like, you can't
Speaker 1: have the store here. Now that's a big fucking deal,
Speaker 1: right because it's like, I don't owe you ship, Nigga,
Speaker 1: I'm fucking putting my money up to rent this place.
Speaker 1: Who gives a fuck? What's here? What I used to be.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't worry about that ship right now. To me,
Speaker 1: you don't need to tricks Like tricking is not the issue,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. For getting a job, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, she's just saying she's managing a
Speaker 1: retail store, like being tricked to fucking manage that ship.
Speaker 1: Like that's fucked up. Oh you know what, maybe we
Speaker 1: shouldn't have put you as a face front for customers
Speaker 1: because you're a trans woman. Can't do that. Fuck that
Speaker 1: for work, but for sex? Now do you agree with me? There?
Speaker 1: Um no? Why not? And the reason why I don't
Speaker 1: it's because if we're gonna normalize this, was not saying
Speaker 1: it isn't normal already. I'm so scared to say to
Speaker 1: the own thing. But I'm not saying it isn't normal already,
Speaker 1: because it's normal for you and it's normal for the
Speaker 1: trans community. But if we're gonna say that it's just
Speaker 1: as normal as homosexual, just as normal as hetero sexual,
Speaker 1: then I identifying as trans in the moment, if that's
Speaker 1: what it takes to me, is important because once you're
Speaker 1: saying that, you're saying it's necessary. No no, no, no no, see,
Speaker 1: And I get that, I get that, I get what
Speaker 1: you're saying. No, because nobody's gonna ask you if you're
Speaker 1: a woman, or nobody to ask you if you're a man.
Speaker 1: Exactly why One, they're worried about healthcare. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you know my sis is gonna cost too. They're gonna
Speaker 1: be worried she's an HR issue because someone's going to
Speaker 1: talk about her. Three, they're gonna worry about clientele and
Speaker 1: if how this is going to make the company. Look
Speaker 1: it's always a probibility, which is which is uh, that's
Speaker 1: a lawsuit, but you have to know it's not. In
Speaker 1: thirty two states, trans people can legally be fired just
Speaker 1: because they find out that you're trans. Shut the funk
Speaker 1: up thirty two states. I literally, if if I walk
Speaker 1: in I passed, I get the job, and somebody starts, oh,
Speaker 1: I follow hop on Instagram she's an amazing transactivist. My
Speaker 1: boss can give me my walking papers the next day
Speaker 1: and not even tell me that that's why it is.
Speaker 1: Let's be. They don't even have to say, like, that's
Speaker 1: why it is. Now how you feel, nigger? Like when
Speaker 1: they write up their paperwork, they can tell HR like, oh,
Speaker 1: we just felt like it was like all of those
Speaker 1: things that we just listed are valid reasons that they
Speaker 1: can say this is why we fired her. Do you
Speaker 1: remember when the whole thing which Trump happened with the
Speaker 1: military and trans people. You know why. The main reason
Speaker 1: for that was because of the cost for transitioning drugs.
Speaker 1: They don't want to spend money on it, but they
Speaker 1: spend two point five billion dollars on diacra. We already know.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, we feel jet it costs more than transitioning
Speaker 1: drugs for anyone in the millinaritary like times a hundred
Speaker 1: or some ship like that. But point being like, it's
Speaker 1: always this really like asinine, small minuscule excuse to just
Speaker 1: not say what you want to say. Okay, So where
Speaker 1: I'm going with that is, Okay, the owner of the
Speaker 1: nail salon is extremely homophobic, or always said because I
Speaker 1: didn't I don't watch polls. I've been scarped to watch
Speaker 1: trans So there's there's different because there are people who
Speaker 1: are cool with gay folks. We see it all the
Speaker 1: time in black culture. Black men are fine with lesbians
Speaker 1: and studs and all types of But I don't be real,
Speaker 1: I've seen but trans women scared. Trans women is just
Speaker 1: an off limits off the unless and I've seen this
Speaker 1: thing in the hood. If she grew up in that hood,
Speaker 1: then she's the only one that can come. And why
Speaker 1: from the point of view. For me, I think that
Speaker 1: it's always that thing of like being afraid of the unknown. Right,
Speaker 1: if we watch Cookie grow up from LaMotte, then Cookie
Speaker 1: is the hoods And I mean for I'm very I'm
Speaker 1: very transparent because I know how the world is. Right,
Speaker 1: So if if Cookie is the hood training, right, we
Speaker 1: all know Cookie, we know what Cookie is working with,
Speaker 1: then there's nothing to be afraid of because nobody knows.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna mistakenly touch Cookie. But if Mariah comes in
Speaker 1: and we don't know, then somebody can make the mistake
Speaker 1: at the party, and that's scary. Scary. Now that scy Okay,
Speaker 1: So we got the unemployment we got because now as
Speaker 1: a man, you're you're you, you you questioning your own self,
Speaker 1: you got people questioning you. I want to move past
Speaker 1: the employment things. Do you understand now, her renting an apartment,
Speaker 1: why she don't need to tell anybody her getting a job? Now?
Speaker 1: Are we clear with that? Why? So it wasn't that
Speaker 1: she for her, it was more like fighting the transphobia
Speaker 1: and the other person because obviously that person has issues
Speaker 1: and you know what, I help you don't really have
Speaker 1: the skill. So what how do we move forward with that?
Speaker 1: Like if we just said, you know what, nobody ever
Speaker 1: has to know anything or nobody has to deal with
Speaker 1: their own transphobia. But my thing is is my thing
Speaker 1: is there are people that are drumming pulpes that wouldn't
Speaker 1: hire somebody who had HIV and AIDS, but they're not
Speaker 1: being forced to disclose that. People don't feel some type
Speaker 1: of way if you don't like, people feel some type
Speaker 1: of way, but if they find out, they're not going
Speaker 1: to necessarily fire you. It's just like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: she got AIDS, but this is about to be my favorite,
Speaker 1: so you know. It's It's one of those things where
Speaker 1: I sit back and I asked, like, if that's the requirement,
Speaker 1: then everybody who you're dating, they should be forced to.
Speaker 1: Like I think that the thing is, it's the idea
Speaker 1: of the rate and the time frame for exposing for
Speaker 1: trans women that we are like forced to like the
Speaker 1: second that I Nigga sits down at the bar, looks
Speaker 1: at you, winks one time you gotta be like, I'm
Speaker 1: trans And it's just like like that that ship is fucking.
Speaker 1: It is annoying and it's confusing, and it's it really
Speaker 1: hinders you from feeling like a person because I feel
Speaker 1: like I can never have a good conversation. Is I
Speaker 1: can never accept a drink. I want to talk about
Speaker 1: what y'all both got into, and this is a great
Speaker 1: segue into this. Now I feel like obviously we get
Speaker 1: all agree. I'm clearly a fucking ally. But I will
Speaker 1: say I do believe people um should at least have
Speaker 1: a choice. I don't I agree. I don't think you
Speaker 1: need to tell someone sitting at the bar. I don't
Speaker 1: even know how I'm feeling young about a dating profile.
Speaker 1: I still don't know. I don't feel like you need
Speaker 1: to have that. But I want to talk about you
Speaker 1: said something about walking down the street. You guys got
Speaker 1: into an argument on I g live. A lot of
Speaker 1: women lose their lives. It was a debate. Debate was right,
Speaker 1: it was good, it was good, and you were respectful
Speaker 1: in that too. I think I want to start talking
Speaker 1: about dating. How do you go about dating? When do
Speaker 1: you say it? First date? How does it go? I mean,
Speaker 1: that's private, it's your genitaliat I've interviewed people that have
Speaker 1: an STD. They say they don't say it right until
Speaker 1: they're about to have sex, Like that's your I don't know,
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. Everybody has different stuff. My thing
Speaker 1: is And it's funny that you mentioned dating profiles. It's
Speaker 1: on all of my dating profiles. Um, And it didn't
Speaker 1: used to be because I used to like to disclose
Speaker 1: on the first message, like I still like to disclose
Speaker 1: fairly early. But now I put it on my dating
Speaker 1: profile because I was getting so many messages and this
Speaker 1: is not like me to my own horn. But it's
Speaker 1: like the second I would make a tender, whatever the
Speaker 1: funk I was making, it would be like like a
Speaker 1: flood of sucking messages and then I would have to
Speaker 1: tell every single one of them I'm trans. Some trans
Speaker 1: on trains and then it would either be the block
Speaker 1: train or the oh you can steck my dig train.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's either it's either right, but it's either
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna or or you can or we can
Speaker 1: have sex. But that's it, Like I'll fuck a trans girl,
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna like me the date I was
Speaker 1: talking about that beautiful ship that I'm just putting your
Speaker 1: in box buck all that, and um, that was the issue.
Speaker 1: So now I put it out there. It's the first
Speaker 1: thing that you see I am trans now, I like
Speaker 1: movies and books and then like all the other stuff.
Speaker 1: And then like when I meet somebody at like a
Speaker 1: bar or something like that, I don't disclose until he
Speaker 1: asked me out how tall are you? By the way,
Speaker 1: five times, the height is the only thing that's ever
Speaker 1: um made me think twice, Like when I see women
Speaker 1: that are quote unquote just for the sake of conversation passing,
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure for second it's it's only hyps,
Speaker 1: never their frame, it's never how big they are. It's
Speaker 1: only hYP that's been like and that's like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: a real texy subject for me. Like whenever I guy
Speaker 1: asked like how tall I am online or something like that,
Speaker 1: it immediately pisses me to funk off because that's and
Speaker 1: my thing is, I wish the people just be more
Speaker 1: honest about it and just say that because men try
Speaker 1: to clock you, like it doesn't matter how cute you are,
Speaker 1: just my how beautiful yards a trans woman if you're
Speaker 1: over five or seven. That like for a lot of
Speaker 1: guys that like they're like, yeah, you might pass. But
Speaker 1: I ain't got time for that because people question tall women,
Speaker 1: even people that you know are sist women, you'd be like, no, no, okay, Um,
Speaker 1: you don't want to delve into this a little bit.
Speaker 1: I have a specific one. That's fine. Um, you want
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Speaker 1: sex was. So here's my question. I had a class
Speaker 1: in college once where we had a trans woman come
Speaker 1: up and she was really just just starting transitioning. Um.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I thought it was a whit dude
Speaker 1: with long hair because she wasn't even really dressing um
Speaker 1: like like a woman. Did you usually would? But I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about genitalia in the first question out
Speaker 1: of my mouth. And it's funny because I don't have
Speaker 1: a sex podcast. I was like, what do you do
Speaker 1: when people want to talk about you know, are you preopera?
Speaker 1: So I really want to know, and she got really insulted.
Speaker 1: Did I ask that question? But it's something that I'm
Speaker 1: curious about because now we know your trans Then what
Speaker 1: the reason I'm curious is because even if someone's down,
Speaker 1: maybe they've never I don't know, They're like, Okay, do
Speaker 1: we have anal sex? Do I have anal sex? Now?
Speaker 1: How do we have sex? That's important too, because I'm
Speaker 1: not sure, So, like, at what point do you feel
Speaker 1: comfortable talking about it and how can someone ask you
Speaker 1: in a respectful way that's wild. Um, honestly, I'm but
Speaker 1: I think it's different just because I've been in an
Speaker 1: activism field. So I think i'm a lot more because
Speaker 1: I have to tell like rooms of people about what's
Speaker 1: between my legs and what's not between my legs, or
Speaker 1: how I talk about sex, and so I think that
Speaker 1: for me, it's more so about asking about their comfort,
Speaker 1: but it's asking about your comfort for my sanity because
Speaker 1: I have time to build something awesome. We're talking for
Speaker 1: two weeks or so or whatever, and then we have
Speaker 1: a drunk night, come back to the crib and you
Speaker 1: just saying down so you you you're saying your activist,
Speaker 1: and I think that's the second or third time and
Speaker 1: just you just you being forward right being an activists.
Speaker 1: That's why you put Is that a reason why you
Speaker 1: feel comfortable saying I'm trans? Let's move on? Because some people,
Speaker 1: like you said, don't want to be pulled out of
Speaker 1: that space, like I want to be recognized where I
Speaker 1: am right now, I follow a few trans women that
Speaker 1: don't have it in their profile right and then they
Speaker 1: have hundreds of comments let me eat you but you'll
Speaker 1: understand the other. And I'm like, okay, So that's why
Speaker 1: I kind of was like, Yo, we need to make
Speaker 1: trans more normalized. And only where you can do that
Speaker 1: is if you say, oh, I'm trying. That's why I
Speaker 1: said it, because how do you feel about that? But
Speaker 1: nothing that There are plenty of women that are saying
Speaker 1: that the trans. But the thing about it is that
Speaker 1: when we say it, it's immediately brought down, and especially
Speaker 1: when you're open for hate, there's a lot of hate there,
Speaker 1: but it's not even necessarily. Hey, when you're an attractive
Speaker 1: woman that says that your trans, it's immediately boiled down
Speaker 1: to your sexual parts of what you can do for
Speaker 1: me sexually, they no longer want to hear about you know,
Speaker 1: anything that you have going on. If they followed you
Speaker 1: for hair. Even women, it boils down to like, oh,
Speaker 1: she was pretty, But now I want to know if
Speaker 1: she says it has her penis. Now I want to
Speaker 1: know if she's willing to me if she does have
Speaker 1: her penis. Guys, it's like, oh, I wonder, like if
Speaker 1: I can slide in the d M is real quick.
Speaker 1: I wonder if she's an escort, like it immediately goes
Speaker 1: to all of these others, like the second that you
Speaker 1: say that you are trans, but you're not, you know,
Speaker 1: like the version of trans that people think should be
Speaker 1: kept out of bathrooms, that version, and you're an actually
Speaker 1: like an attractive person that people can see themselves having
Speaker 1: sex with, then that's all people can think about. I've
Speaker 1: been curious about that too, because like I had a
Speaker 1: sis had her old friends, not friend for real, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I smoke with back in Florida and this woman watched
Speaker 1: by us who was trans. She had a shirt with
Speaker 1: a flag on it, and he's like, is that a
Speaker 1: gay flag? That's what he asked me in a blue, white,
Speaker 1: pink whatever it is. And I was like, no, she's
Speaker 1: trans and he was a trans flag. Yeah um, and
Speaker 1: he said okay, Well like her, I would fuck And
Speaker 1: I know she heard him, and I wondered how she felt.
Speaker 1: And I didn't say anything because I was confused on what.
Speaker 1: I didn't check him. I didn't know what to do,
Speaker 1: but I wondered, like, is he by curious? Is there
Speaker 1: a such thing as trans curious? Why is that a thing?
Speaker 1: If he if it's a trans woman, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter because she's a woman that's an attractive woman who
Speaker 1: he would suck. I mean, but okay, so that's the thing.
Speaker 1: So no, that's the thing. That's the thing we need
Speaker 1: to be because he doesn't know how to get you know,
Speaker 1: I need to get there because I was gonna say
Speaker 1: this before you're at the bar. You're talking to dude.
Speaker 1: You don't know what his preferences are. He doesn't know
Speaker 1: your history anything else. I'm trying to try. He doesn't know, bro,
Speaker 1: I'm trying. Got a big dude over here. It was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want no smoke. I know your sexual orientation,
Speaker 1: but let me just I'm trying here. Just everybody appreciate
Speaker 1: he doesn't You're waiting to the end of the conversation.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the time with you, the whole conversation
Speaker 1: at the end of the conversation. Yeah, so she's like,
Speaker 1: she'll have the drinks. Can you talk about do you
Speaker 1: know trans women that do not do that? And then
Speaker 1: can you talk about reasons for safety and what works best?
Speaker 1: I want to talk about safety. Disclosure and safety are
Speaker 1: they go hand in hand? Right? So you never know
Speaker 1: when disclosing it's gonna get you jumped. Outside of this by.
Speaker 1: You never know when disclosing is going to get a
Speaker 1: bottle upside the head right then and there. You never know,
Speaker 1: right You don't know how people are going to respond
Speaker 1: to react. And when I was I want to say,
Speaker 1: when I was twenty two, I was living in Texas
Speaker 1: and that very same thing happened to me. I'm at
Speaker 1: a bar, I'm mind in my business, I'm drinking, had
Speaker 1: a bad night. African do fines ship comes over, six
Speaker 1: ft something, him and his entourage with people and he's winding.
Speaker 1: I had a horrible fucking day. So you buying drinks,
Speaker 1: I'm drinking, We're talking, we're chatting, and at the end
Speaker 1: of the night, I'm like, okay, I'm bouncing and he
Speaker 1: was like, no, let me get your number. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be back. And I was like, okay, well before you
Speaker 1: do that, like, I gotta tell you, like this probably
Speaker 1: isn't what you want. And he's like, what do you
Speaker 1: mean this isn't what I want. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm trans I'm not sure if you want to
Speaker 1: take it further than this, and he's just like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: you know, not necessarily my thing. I know how American
Speaker 1: men are, but that's not me, and I'm thinking, okay,
Speaker 1: decent exchange. I'm gonna go hop in this car and
Speaker 1: I'm abounce and on my way to my car, six
Speaker 1: African men beat my ass outside of the bottom. He
Speaker 1: went and gather his goonies and they beat me up
Speaker 1: outside of the bar, and they made it up their
Speaker 1: business and then stopped. Uh some guys like from the
Speaker 1: inside of the bar who heard him plotting. Because what
Speaker 1: happened was after I said it, it was my immediate
Speaker 1: like feeling to run, even though he was being nice,
Speaker 1: something in my spirit just was like this ain't this
Speaker 1: ain't right. That's so you're I want to apologize for that, right,
Speaker 1: And I'm apologized just for everybody who are ive, because
Speaker 1: I know in my life I have had those moments
Speaker 1: where I might have run into somebody and be like, yo,
Speaker 1: that's a man or whatever. I'm pretty sure I can't
Speaker 1: remember anything specific right now, but I'm pretty sure I've
Speaker 1: done it. So but that's just my own ignorance that
Speaker 1: I've had to deal with. But moving further from that
Speaker 1: without a butt to the end of that statement, because
Speaker 1: that statement needs to be isolated. Do you think that damn?
Speaker 1: Because this is mass specific after six drinks. That's the
Speaker 1: time when you tell me that when I'm not even
Speaker 1: thinking properly. But my thing is, I have no intention
Speaker 1: on having sex with you. Yes you're attractive, Yes you're cool.
Speaker 1: Why she gotta tell you where she's drinking and chilling,
Speaker 1: because al our exchange has nothing to It's our exchange
Speaker 1: here in this bar, at this moment. See, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be honest, know where this is leading, this conversation between
Speaker 1: this man and a woman. You know what this is leading.
Speaker 1: But at the end of the night, when you're drinking
Speaker 1: with someone you need at a bar, I'm trying. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I don't, but you know I want to have sex.
Speaker 1: If you might not know what you want, but you
Speaker 1: know what I want. I owe you that when I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying you, don't I'm on my period. That's your mouth
Speaker 1: works because like he said, like she said, maybe dude
Speaker 1: could just go for some head. That's what they'd be
Speaker 1: asking for anyway, right, that's what she said. But that
Speaker 1: don't mean that she gotta fucking tell you that she
Speaker 1: ain't in the mood. I totally agree with you, And
Speaker 1: like I said, I realized that there's and I realized
Speaker 1: that some people might not want to say nothing because
Speaker 1: of how motherfucker's gonna make them feel. How are they
Speaker 1: going to make them respond? I just to night and
Speaker 1: enjoying someone's time before and then he's gonna come, and
Speaker 1: then she's going to get into that place where she's
Speaker 1: either got to be honest or go back saying I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say nothing. But why is the end
Speaker 1: of the night at bad time? But that's that's good,
Speaker 1: goes there on the first thing before. But do you
Speaker 1: see how like this whole thing is like problematic and
Speaker 1: ship It's like I'm damned if I do. Yes, I
Speaker 1: get it, I totally get it, But I don't. You
Speaker 1: gotta understand it as a me too? What do I do?
Speaker 1: Because now I'm sitting here, I didn't know that this
Speaker 1: was the conversation I was. But why is that a problem?
Speaker 1: Because all anybody else in this bar saw, all anybody
Speaker 1: else in the bar saw, was you talking to a
Speaker 1: pretty girl at the bar? Yeah, nobody else, nobody else
Speaker 1: in the bar. But you knows that I'm trans because
Speaker 1: your homeboys having lit night, but your home my thing
Speaker 1: is if you're because Okay, so what you're trying to
Speaker 1: say is I'm transphobic, right, And what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: if you're representing this person and you're transphobic, transphobia and
Speaker 1: to for for it to be triggered. It's about the
Speaker 1: embarrassment of being caught with a trans person. Nobody caught
Speaker 1: you with a trans person you don't know as nobody
Speaker 1: you know, yo, boom, this is a trans trans woman
Speaker 1: that lives in my neighborhood. Have body done ridiculously? This
Speaker 1: is back before bodies was getting done. Biggest round is
Speaker 1: as best boobs. Everything we all knew, Like you said,
Speaker 1: we know her. She speaks to us what up you know?
Speaker 1: And she speaks like a lady, and we we know.
Speaker 1: We really were just having fun with her all that.
Speaker 1: It was good. It's going because, like you said, she
Speaker 1: grew up around us. We know her, we know what
Speaker 1: when she transitioned and everything. That was a fair point
Speaker 1: to make to her. So boom, we all outside one
Speaker 1: night she's walking to the train station. Bus driver polls over,
Speaker 1: hops out. Bus driver pulls the whole bus over. Somebody's
Speaker 1: crazy like that. We pull over bus over. Uh tries
Speaker 1: to highlight her and I guess she just told him
Speaker 1: straight up like yo, I'm trying. He and she backed up,
Speaker 1: so we're like yo, yo yo. So he's seeing us
Speaker 1: like we was like yo. And he ran back on
Speaker 1: the bus and took off on the bus. So I
Speaker 1: get that y'all have it bad either way, but I
Speaker 1: don't know as the bus driver, when was the right
Speaker 1: time for him to to know or But obviously nothing
Speaker 1: if you freak out before my number in your phone,
Speaker 1: there's no good time. There was no good that's six
Speaker 1: drains don't matter, dog, because if you was gonna tell
Speaker 1: your niggas and y'all are drunk to me to be
Speaker 1: that violent, like, I'm gonna be real with you. This
Speaker 1: is the same thing with abuse, right, I've maybe you've
Speaker 1: never held me told the story, but I had a
Speaker 1: very abusive X and the first time you hit me,
Speaker 1: I was like, he was drunk. That's what I thought.
Speaker 1: How could drunk? You are a good person, right, I
Speaker 1: don't think you could get drunk and hurt me. I
Speaker 1: don't know that he's a period. That is, That's what
Speaker 1: we're saying the same point, right, trans Phobia comes from
Speaker 1: from a place where it can't be corrected or learned
Speaker 1: from that, you can. The point is something correct couldn't
Speaker 1: have been saved from them sick regardless his niggas jumped
Speaker 1: you that didn't take beer, didn't take tequila. Period, You
Speaker 1: wouldn't do it to her. You wouldn't, you wouldn't do
Speaker 1: it to me. You have to innately have that, And
Speaker 1: this is why conversations are necessary so that we can learn, like,
Speaker 1: trans people aren't scary, trans women aren't scary, and honestly,
Speaker 1: trans phobia. So I don't know, that's one of my questions.
Speaker 1: But but that's the thing it's about. It's not even
Speaker 1: about normalizing. It's about going about your sucking business, mind
Speaker 1: your fucking business like it's it's not even just the
Speaker 1: idea of oh, it being scary for it to happen
Speaker 1: to you. But I don't understand that people like, there's
Speaker 1: a young man who just killed himself because he was
Speaker 1: in a relationship with the trans that that had nothing
Speaker 1: to do Reese killed himself in a relationship that had
Speaker 1: nothing to do with other thiggas, But they're pressed because
Speaker 1: he likes you don't. I'll be real with you. I said,
Speaker 1: we had Dustin in here and we discussed that and
Speaker 1: I feel like they were so hard on him because
Speaker 1: he looked so mad. Yeah, you nigga like you. Like,
Speaker 1: let's say maybe you versus a guy that's a little
Speaker 1: more feminine or flamboyant dating a trans women. They don't
Speaker 1: get on you more. They don't expect it from you,
Speaker 1: and that's what happens. I'm thinking about what you guys
Speaker 1: said to me, and I'm thinking about why it's such
Speaker 1: a big deal for people who are transphobic, and I
Speaker 1: think that in the heterosexual community amongst women, women, men,
Speaker 1: and I've been I've been told that even gay community,
Speaker 1: there is a lot of homophobia. I don't know exactly
Speaker 1: how to represent what they're talking about in the gay community,
Speaker 1: but I do know men aren't allowed any preferences outside
Speaker 1: of women before being labeled gay. We're very scared of
Speaker 1: what we might like, of any exploring, of being judged,
Speaker 1: and so because of that, we go super hard to
Speaker 1: prove that we aren't even masking your own desires and curiosities.
Speaker 1: So because of that, I think that's where the phobia
Speaker 1: comes from and the aggression. Because the guy at the bar,
Speaker 1: this guy, his biggest problem wasn't you, Because he liked
Speaker 1: you already. His biggest problem was those guys knowing that
Speaker 1: he liked you. That's his biggest problem. It was them
Speaker 1: because she walked away when when when she when she
Speaker 1: walked away, he looked around and wanted to know did
Speaker 1: they know she was trans because now he wanted to ask, yo,
Speaker 1: she's this, Yo, did you know? But it goes back
Speaker 1: to what he said, that's an internal thing, right, because
Speaker 1: it's like you having to validate that you're How could
Speaker 1: I like that? How could I know? I've been at
Speaker 1: the early stages of my transition. I remember I'm walking
Speaker 1: home and it was three dudes. One of them wanted
Speaker 1: to talk to me, and the other two trails behind.
Speaker 1: I'm listening to the conversation that his friends are having
Speaker 1: behind us. I think that's the man. I think. I
Speaker 1: think that's the man. Yo, you think's I think that's
Speaker 1: a man. He's so busy trying to spit game, he
Speaker 1: don't hear nothing that's happening. It's not until we get
Speaker 1: into the CBS and we part ways that I'm still
Speaker 1: hearing the conversation. Yo, I think that's a dude. Not
Speaker 1: I ain't no dude. Like she finds y'all don't see
Speaker 1: not that's the dude, not to go. We got the
Speaker 1: light on, now go look at it. And then now
Speaker 1: that would scare me, Like I'm literally like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what it's scared me. But my thing is he
Speaker 1: didn't think even in the light he came over, he
Speaker 1: did like the so you really gonna give me your number?
Speaker 1: But he's observing me now now that there's light, right
Speaker 1: now that we're no longer walking down the dark street.
Speaker 1: Now that there's like you're observing me. You still don't
Speaker 1: see it. But because that you've pressed you about it,
Speaker 1: now you have to see it. Oh yeah, y'all, all right,
Speaker 1: that's the dude. I'm getting the funk up out of here, y'all,
Speaker 1: let's go. But you didn't see that. And so it's
Speaker 1: back to what Weezy is talking about. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: about what they think. It's all about the perception of
Speaker 1: myself and how I see myself and how I know
Speaker 1: that they're going to think about me regardless. Because even
Speaker 1: if even if he had come back and said, nah,
Speaker 1: in the light sheet even more gorgeous now according to them,
Speaker 1: you gay. And that's what he doesn't want to have
Speaker 1: to deal with. It's still internal. It's all about him
Speaker 1: and his bullshit. But and that's the thing. I think
Speaker 1: a lot of men like to make it about other
Speaker 1: people when it's it's legitimately about you. One of the
Speaker 1: scariest things for me when I was talking to a
Speaker 1: trans woman at the bar like a month back, no
Speaker 1: bullshit doing this show, being a part of the community
Speaker 1: like friends that I have, I was literally her feeling her,
Speaker 1: and I was thinking, like, who's asked them have to
Speaker 1: be over my girl? Like I started back forwarding in
Speaker 1: my head like all the things that would happen to
Speaker 1: me and how I would deal with everybody else. And
Speaker 1: I was really like, I can't. I think that there's
Speaker 1: so much understanding of what's going on in society now
Speaker 1: for trans well maybe not for trans or maybe I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I don't think that it's I don't
Speaker 1: want to make the heterosexual people the victim, but I
Speaker 1: do want to say that there's so much pressure on
Speaker 1: black men, straight black men to be a certain way,
Speaker 1: and now we looked at as like we're like being
Speaker 1: demon noted for being that way. I don't think that
Speaker 1: we've been talking that by our our music. I'll coach you,
Speaker 1: our parents, the church, everybody. You gotta be this way.
Speaker 1: And the minute you deviate from that, you're a white
Speaker 1: person saying I didn't know that, saying there was bad.
Speaker 1: That's what you don't know. But I actually I want
Speaker 1: to come to his defense on that because I think
Speaker 1: that it's important that we talk about black women's part
Speaker 1: or portion in the way that black men see and
Speaker 1: that you're wrong. You know that this is another human,
Speaker 1: You know this is a black person doesn't know that
Speaker 1: at the floor. But when my mother you're telling me
Speaker 1: you don't, it's not it's not about what they know.
Speaker 1: It's about the idea that the matriarchs of my community,
Speaker 1: the women who i'm my thing is I can be
Speaker 1: attracted to trans women, right, just like men could be
Speaker 1: attracted to fat women. Men could be attracted to short women,
Speaker 1: but majority of the time they don't get to date
Speaker 1: a lot of those. Majority of the time. He's not
Speaker 1: dating trans women, right. And so if I know that
Speaker 1: dating one trans woman could possibly eradicate my chances of
Speaker 1: dating any other woman because they know that, then I
Speaker 1: can't date one trans woman. That's fair that I agree
Speaker 1: with you on. Now, when he was talking talking about
Speaker 1: the music and ship like that, saying blatantly transphoping homophobic.
Speaker 1: Shiit No, I feel like people know that's wrong, but
Speaker 1: those of fears absolutely because of that influence. That's very
Speaker 1: That's that's what you're saying about. Saying blatantly homophobic stuff
Speaker 1: is relatively new when people you still have people saying pause,
Speaker 1: you still got people saying for like ten years ago,
Speaker 1: I listened to the stuff like that, but it's literally
Speaker 1: been everything. I went to problem with a gay nigga, Like,
Speaker 1: I just kind of lived a different life. I always
Speaker 1: knew those things were bad. I always knew even if
Speaker 1: I said faggot in high school, it coming out of
Speaker 1: my mouth didn't even feel right. I had to stop
Speaker 1: doing that. I had too many gay niggas around me.
Speaker 1: How could I do that? But you did? We didn't.
Speaker 1: I knew it wasn't right. Like I'm telling you, I
Speaker 1: feel like, and you come from a place like there
Speaker 1: are people that, yes, they knew it was wrong. I'm
Speaker 1: one of those people. Nigger. I grew up with black
Speaker 1: ship with a black mama. I just grew up on
Speaker 1: the different side. You're telling me my gay friends didn't
Speaker 1: know that was wrong. You understand that I understand your
Speaker 1: side and I'm doing my best to understand the trans side,
Speaker 1: but also think that just became bad. That's not true.
Speaker 1: I just also think that it's been part of our
Speaker 1: culture to be phobia, to have these phobias, and now
Speaker 1: we're like, it's wrong. Everybody's wrong. And also, so my
Speaker 1: thing is where does the growth come from? How does
Speaker 1: it happens? It has been part of the culture to
Speaker 1: push men to be like that, but we've always known
Speaker 1: that it was to treat people to look at We'll
Speaker 1: look at how many black people at a faster rate
Speaker 1: are getting employed to things because we're more of the
Speaker 1: face of things. Black Lives Matter movement, there's just more movements.
Speaker 1: We're more in your face. Maybe that's why you feel
Speaker 1: that way. Even to say sis feels like a slur
Speaker 1: like nigga. No, that's how people use it. It's not you.
Speaker 1: They don't talk to y'all that way. I'm the one
Speaker 1: on Twitter. If you google, on search, tile TV and sisht,
Speaker 1: you will see everybody who has says it. It's saying
Speaker 1: it to me in a derogatory way, to the point
Speaker 1: where I didn't like the word until I found out
Speaker 1: what it was. And that's the thing, Like, it's about
Speaker 1: knowledge of the word right as people are using it.
Speaker 1: Because I've heard this argument before with people like don't
Speaker 1: call me sis because that just makes like, just call
Speaker 1: me what I am. I'm a woman, you're not a woman.
Speaker 1: But it's like, so hetero sexual people since type people
Speaker 1: are allowed to give every other community a name that
Speaker 1: they can cope with and and compartmentalize people, but then
Speaker 1: when the LGBT people give you all a name and
Speaker 1: compartment list for our conversations, it's a slur. I didn't,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't. I'm saying that when it's using
Speaker 1: a certain way, that's the way that But my thing,
Speaker 1: like there's no way to be like, oh, like I
Speaker 1: feel stupid even trying to find a way to say
Speaker 1: sis in a way that's like disrespectful. It's just like,
Speaker 1: oh no, any time one of these sist said straight
Speaker 1: black men come on here, it's every time I see
Speaker 1: that word. It's like that I think that anytime any
Speaker 1: one of these trans women get on like that's like
Speaker 1: me being upset for like that. It's just the title.
Speaker 1: I think that you, like the energy are given us
Speaker 1: sometimes how women feel about the word female. These females
Speaker 1: never right. But you see how easy it is for
Speaker 1: me to say, yeah, I understand that, and y'all like, no, no,
Speaker 1: we don't understand where you're coming from. And that's the
Speaker 1: point is that we have to try to understand the
Speaker 1: other side. We have to. It's curious to see the comments.
Speaker 1: If I feel like, why are you gonna do it?
Speaker 1: Search it? It's literally right there. I think the reason
Speaker 1: it's hard is because, like they're so there are real
Speaker 1: slurs being a well here it is. You're not a
Speaker 1: marginalized group. Oh I'm not. We're not. When did that happen?
Speaker 1: But where where is the oppression? Insists man, Like there's
Speaker 1: no fucking slurs like black men are aren't marginalized? Definitely
Speaker 1: say that sis het ain't a motherfucking marginalized group. They're
Speaker 1: the group with all the privilege. And it's just like
Speaker 1: the white people privilege out of this world. Ahead, bro,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about black man. Take your black ass
Speaker 1: out of this. Go back to sis head. I'm on
Speaker 1: black man side always sis Head. She's like, what trumps
Speaker 1: this this head? Okay? Like I want to questions I've
Speaker 1: had that. Um, I feel like you're important. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go back to Pose. There's a scene in the show
Speaker 1: pos Okay, there's a popular woman in the show, Electra.
Speaker 1: She's like the Dune daughter. She's the best. Now Electra
Speaker 1: wants to get her operation done. What's the name of it, sorry, srs.
Speaker 1: What is the sexual reassignment surgery? Reassignment surgery? Okay? Special?
Speaker 1: So she wants to be post off. She's pre opt
Speaker 1: so to speak, and on the show she's very poised, fabulous.
Speaker 1: She has a sugar daddy to pay for all his ship.
Speaker 1: When she gets her surgery done, he doesn't want her anymore.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about that. I want to talk
Speaker 1: about has anyone ever told you they don't want you too?
Speaker 1: And how does that feel? Are there any man that
Speaker 1: are specific when talking to about making sure that it's
Speaker 1: still there? Whatever? And roundabout ways, um and roundabout ways,
Speaker 1: Like when the conversation has come up with like two
Speaker 1: of my long standing like pieces, they both and it's
Speaker 1: crazy because they are two completely different men, but they
Speaker 1: both had a very similar answer, which is like it
Speaker 1: was like that do what you want, but not really
Speaker 1: type deal. Um. And I remember like because I was
Speaker 1: younger when they when I had that conversation with the
Speaker 1: both of them, and it was kind of like in
Speaker 1: my mind, I was like, so are you like are
Speaker 1: you gay? Like are you not gonna want me if
Speaker 1: I don't have this, like because I'm a woman, And
Speaker 1: I thought that that was the whole point, like I
Speaker 1: thought you would be happy, Like I didn't get the
Speaker 1: responses from them that I thought that I would get
Speaker 1: about like getting a vagina, Like I thought that they
Speaker 1: would be like, oh yeah, like like that, because now
Speaker 1: there's like a wait, lett, I don't know how I
Speaker 1: do have a question. I want to ask what I
Speaker 1: feel like defense like taho for those men, are you topping?
Speaker 1: No you're not. So that's what's really interesting to me
Speaker 1: because at that point it's really all fucking aesthetics, like
Speaker 1: and it's just when we say topping, are you the
Speaker 1: one that's penetrating? Okay, so you forget it. I don't
Speaker 1: want to know, sorry, Like what I wanted to know
Speaker 1: because a lot of the assumption with trans women and
Speaker 1: sex is like, oh, now I guess to get fucked.
Speaker 1: But it's like the trans women I know are not
Speaker 1: fucking niggas. No, the most have sex with most I
Speaker 1: mean fucking niggas. I'm sorry, like penetrating, they're they're they're
Speaker 1: not taking, they're not getting. Is that better? So yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's because they are women. Come on, look at you.
Speaker 1: God damn it. Fucking learning and ship. But I asked
Speaker 1: that specific question because I was curious to know if
Speaker 1: men that have a very serious stance about that are
Speaker 1: feeling like they're is a piece of puzzle missing for
Speaker 1: their sex at all. One of the guys like straight
Speaker 1: up told me, he's like, you know, if I wanted
Speaker 1: to date or be with a biological woman, I could
Speaker 1: do that. He's like, the whole thing about being attracted
Speaker 1: to trans women also is that there's this extra something um,
Speaker 1: And I was just like, okay, it's just it's an
Speaker 1: aesthetic thing. It's just like you know, being with you
Speaker 1: could be with any woman, but like I like fat
Speaker 1: girls because I like the way that fields or do
Speaker 1: you ever want to however, you sign a trargery and
Speaker 1: it's one of those things that I teeter back and
Speaker 1: forth with because it's it's I think that it's mostly
Speaker 1: for vanity's purposes, right, It's so that I can wear
Speaker 1: a fucking bathing suit and not have to worry about
Speaker 1: if my tuck is gonna slip? What what is okay?
Speaker 1: So if it's not about did we assignment surgery? What
Speaker 1: exactly was trans to you? Like? What is what we're
Speaker 1: what's happening? What does trans mean that? Do you mean no?
Speaker 1: I'm trying to like I'm trying to understand, like so
Speaker 1: is course dressing the great and there's so what is
Speaker 1: it trans? So? A lot of the times, cross stresses
Speaker 1: are just people who usually identify themselves as people who
Speaker 1: like the way that they feel in the opposite opposite
Speaker 1: sexist closed and usually that applies to women too, But
Speaker 1: people don't pay women any attension because whatever. But there
Speaker 1: are men who will say, like, oh, I just like
Speaker 1: the way that silk fills on my skin, and like
Speaker 1: you know the women, the way that women's shirts are
Speaker 1: cut or whatever. They're usually people that have fallacies for clothing.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't make feel looking that in their profiles, and
Speaker 1: then they'll just like wear panties and like more like
Speaker 1: great type of thing. They're not walking outside, and if
Speaker 1: they are, it's like for a fetish type of it's
Speaker 1: a it's a fetish sized activity. It's not. It's a verb.
Speaker 1: Being is the thing that you do versus any thing
Speaker 1: that you're living. Right, So it's not this thing that
Speaker 1: constantly um. It's a verb in a thing that you
Speaker 1: do right now. Trans specifically does that mean to his
Speaker 1: question for someone that may not know taking shots, taking
Speaker 1: horm moment, like the actual transitioning, like the feminization of
Speaker 1: the body, the feminization of the look. And that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean my thing is. There's a different um bridge to
Speaker 1: cross for every different person. Right, So me I am
Speaker 1: a trans them presenting woman, right. But India Moore, who
Speaker 1: is also on the show Posed, does not identify as
Speaker 1: a trans woman. OFFSET in India is non binary OFFSET
Speaker 1: and so their pronouns are they them offset And a
Speaker 1: lot of people will look at Indian and say, oh,
Speaker 1: that's a trans woman. I get it now, but you
Speaker 1: don't get it because India it's them presenting. However, they
Speaker 1: are not. By the way, a trans woman that ran
Speaker 1: into India at a party and she was like bro.
Speaker 1: People kept coming up there and stand they loved her.
Speaker 1: On this show, he said, when I found out it
Speaker 1: was Posed, I was like, ain't a way. He was like,
Speaker 1: they can't all be trans. She looks gorgeous so much
Speaker 1: so they're like on the show they talk about I'm
Speaker 1: still stuck on non binary offset, So what is it
Speaker 1: about her to make her not scroll up? And yes,
Speaker 1: she is pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty.
Speaker 1: You gotta give me some slack. I get it. So
Speaker 1: non binary, but when you're non binary, you're somebody who
Speaker 1: doesn't You don't want to be claimed by either one
Speaker 1: of those flexes, right, So India is neither super masculine
Speaker 1: or super feminine. India likes to ride the way of
Speaker 1: both of those things. It's more of a two spirits
Speaker 1: sort of deal. Can you switch between like just be
Speaker 1: if your trans? Can you just be with the non
Speaker 1: binary slash Andrews and the spectrum of everything? You can
Speaker 1: do what you want? Can you talk about two spirit
Speaker 1: I just learned that term this year at pride Um.
Speaker 1: I felt bad too. That was like, yeah, I saw
Speaker 1: the tea, But that's the thing that So the trans
Speaker 1: there's transgen transgender, and then there's a trans umbrella that
Speaker 1: everything that's kind of like under that scope falls under.
Speaker 1: So there's transgender, two spirits, gender nonconforming. A sexual is
Speaker 1: now a part of our umbrella as well. Um, there's
Speaker 1: a bunch of things that fall underneath that trans umbrella,
Speaker 1: and two spirit is just basically like another. It's like
Speaker 1: a hyper sensualized version of somebody who identifies himself as
Speaker 1: not binary or somebody who identified themselves as um androgyn
Speaker 1: is like Grace Jones and boy George and all those
Speaker 1: people who like play around with the idea of gender
Speaker 1: rules and the way that gender is supposed to go.
Speaker 1: So right, Prince, So somebody like India takes it a
Speaker 1: step further and says that not only do I not
Speaker 1: follow these necessarily like these binary things about what gender means,
Speaker 1: but I'm also not going to follow the social economic
Speaker 1: rules of binary and gender. So if I'm with somebody,
Speaker 1: if he does identify as asis male, India might say, well,
Speaker 1: I understand that like film presenting, people aren't supposed to
Speaker 1: pay their own check, but I'm paying the check because
Speaker 1: I got it. You know, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: Because I feel like I'm fake, wote like I'm WoT,
Speaker 1: but I feel like gender reveal parties are a big deal.
Speaker 1: I don't really want I don't think a kid necessarily
Speaker 1: needs to have X because like what about for medical reasons.
Speaker 1: I want you to know without having to take my
Speaker 1: it's diaper off. Like how you know what's common in
Speaker 1: boys or girls when they grow up? How do you
Speaker 1: feel about gender reveals or gender parties or assigning gender
Speaker 1: at birth? I think that it's stupid, like to me, like,
Speaker 1: I don't like the baby showering in the showering of
Speaker 1: moms who might be a need with like gifts or
Speaker 1: you know, just coming to celebrate a mom who might
Speaker 1: have been having a tough ass pregnancy. That I get, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not against baby showers, but the whole idea of
Speaker 1: this gender reveal and like lately people crying because they
Speaker 1: got like either a boy or a girl, Like that
Speaker 1: ship is fucking retarded. So you you feel like gender
Speaker 1: reveals or what? Honest? I just think that the unnecessary
Speaker 1: and especially because with with these new days, your child
Speaker 1: is growing up in the completely new America. Like when
Speaker 1: I was growing up, I didn't know, Like I remember
Speaker 1: my mom telling me after this one incident if I
Speaker 1: ever came home as anything other than her son, that
Speaker 1: she didn't know me any power. I was like seven,
Speaker 1: How old did you do you? Did you when you
Speaker 1: were growing up, Um, did you feel like? Okay? I
Speaker 1: was a gay boy, proud, loud, proud and strong until
Speaker 1: I was about nineteen. Okay, Like I never had any
Speaker 1: other idea, Like I was always feminine. There was always
Speaker 1: like we even makeup and all that jazz. But I
Speaker 1: never like, first of all, I didn't know I had
Speaker 1: a choice. So at seven, my mom is telling me
Speaker 1: if you ever come home as anything other than my son,
Speaker 1: I'm like, bitch, I have an option, Like what you mean,
Speaker 1: Like what want me to say that if she catch
Speaker 1: you in clothes or no? Um, a guy that she
Speaker 1: was dating, I had a really bad day at school.
Speaker 1: Uh fucking third grader. I don't know, but I had
Speaker 1: a bad day at school and I'm walking home and
Speaker 1: a guy that she was dating, hood Nigga, was across
Speaker 1: the street with his homeboys and he was trying to
Speaker 1: speak to me, but because I had a bad day,
Speaker 1: I was adding into no seven year old I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 1: you ain't talking to you today, Like I don't have
Speaker 1: time for this bullshit. And I kept walking. And so
Speaker 1: that Saturday, I'm sitting in the room with my grandparents
Speaker 1: and my mom comes in, storming, raging, Cusin screaming, yelling
Speaker 1: and fussing and beating the ship out of me and
Speaker 1: me and my grandparents like what the funk? Like I'm
Speaker 1: thinking back, like you as you getting your ass well
Speaker 1: for something that you don't know about, you thinking like
Speaker 1: what did I do in school? Like what did I?
Speaker 1: And she's just like La Motte told me, he tried
Speaker 1: to seak to you and you walked away switching like
Speaker 1: a little bit. And I was like, oh, that's what
Speaker 1: this is about. It wasn't because I didn't speak. It
Speaker 1: was because he specifically said that I walked away switching
Speaker 1: like a girl, and he was in front of all
Speaker 1: his homeboys, and so there was a conversation about me
Speaker 1: that ensued after that because you're dating his mom. How
Speaker 1: did your mom feel about your Oh now we're now,
Speaker 1: we're good. I would have never like you couldn't have
Speaker 1: told me even three years ago she was transpic Now
Speaker 1: do you feel like your mom was more comfortable with
Speaker 1: you being? Definitely and definitely Like she swallowed that pill
Speaker 1: so easy. It was almost like she had her moments
Speaker 1: where she said ignorant things, but she was not ignorant,
Speaker 1: like even beforehand, like I don't think that my mom
Speaker 1: was ever ignorant about you know, like LGBT people. She
Speaker 1: had like stereotypical black thoughts about it, but she wasn't
Speaker 1: really ignorant to the idea. But it was one of
Speaker 1: those things where when I initially transition, because there was
Speaker 1: no conversation like how most people sit their parents down,
Speaker 1: like the gay conversation. That happened. The trans conversation was
Speaker 1: I went to college and I came back home. Were
Speaker 1: you comfortable being gay in school with your mom? Like? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that was. It didn't get bad with her for
Speaker 1: the gay thing until I got my first serious boyfriend
Speaker 1: and then she knew it was like you gay game? Yeah,
Speaker 1: when you were gay, did you identify as a game?
Speaker 1: Did you ever want to be Did you see yourself
Speaker 1: as a woman? I saw, and that's a that's a
Speaker 1: really And I talked about that in my book Too Shame,
Speaker 1: this BLOGOK, Becoming Hope, Removing the disguise. Uh So that
Speaker 1: was one of those things where I would constantly dream
Speaker 1: about this woman and she was this gorgeous girl with
Speaker 1: this black hair in these beautiful blonde highlights, and I
Speaker 1: don't know where this bitch was coming from. Girl but
Speaker 1: I would see this girl all the time, but at
Speaker 1: that point, like I guess I was, I don't. I
Speaker 1: didn't have verbage for it. So I would just see
Speaker 1: and I knew that it was me, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a girl. I think I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna play with the weed. OK. And so for
Speaker 1: the longest time, I spent a lot of time just
Speaker 1: thinking like I'm I'm a feminist. And then I found
Speaker 1: out what I dropped to me. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm dropping this. I'm like Grace Shan's like I'm doing
Speaker 1: this like funky fashion thing. And I was finding myself
Speaker 1: like it was just like a little by little. I
Speaker 1: was on a panel once with some citty white people
Speaker 1: shout out to the good twenty seven that are listening,
Speaker 1: and one of them told me that I was going
Speaker 1: so hard for trans people when there's a higher rate
Speaker 1: of trans people killing themselves once they transition. Finally, Um,
Speaker 1: has there had there been a time where you were like, funk,
Speaker 1: I did the wrong thing? Uh No, that's amazing. I
Speaker 1: wanted to hurt myself before transitioning. Um. But the life expectancy,
Speaker 1: by the way from blot Figger that's from getting killed
Speaker 1: by someone else and killing yourself. Why what's up? I mean,
Speaker 1: I get the other turmoil, Like mentally an emotion of
Speaker 1: the transitioning is draining because a lot of trans people
Speaker 1: who are doing this are doing this without a support system.
Speaker 1: Fortunately I have several of them, but there are a
Speaker 1: lot of trans women who are doing this, and then
Speaker 1: they're looking at the people of the world like Maya Scott,
Speaker 1: like India, like um, you know, like ts Madison and
Speaker 1: all these beautiful trans women who are on social media,
Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm never going to be that. I
Speaker 1: am a six ft five guy who played you know,
Speaker 1: football most of his life. I'm never gonna be that small.
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna pass, I'm never gonna whatever. How do
Speaker 1: you feel about trans popular trans women like Caitlyn Jenner.
Speaker 1: First of all, Caitlyn Jenner, we don't claim her. I
Speaker 1: didn't think that we don't claim her, but because she's
Speaker 1: problematic as ship um and I think that she's problematic
Speaker 1: because she doesn't realize that she's problematic. And then even
Speaker 1: once she realized that some of the things that she
Speaker 1: said was problematic, she doesn't go about apologizing in a
Speaker 1: way that shows that you stand in solidarity. She's like
Speaker 1: the super Trump supporter. But even beyond that. What I
Speaker 1: was curious, why I wanted to ask that question was
Speaker 1: because Taylor Swift video. Okay, mat right, can we do
Speaker 1: Tom Devins Vincent, you guys got a long episode today.
Speaker 1: We got a great dialogue on here. Taylor Swift had
Speaker 1: a video where she had a bunch of gay niggas
Speaker 1: in it. Lance Bastman saying, Laverne Cox, who is the
Speaker 1: trans women from Orange's a new Black I don't if
Speaker 1: you know her, just very like for the people video,
Speaker 1: but we all know the same ship, and people felt
Speaker 1: like it was pandering. Now. I had a really good
Speaker 1: conversation with my gay friends, my closest gay friends, Bennie
Speaker 1: and Christopher, and I think one of them were saying,
Speaker 1: this is bullshit and the other one was saying, fuck it.
Speaker 1: Now is out there, Like, I don't give a funk
Speaker 1: how the message gets out, as long as it's there.
Speaker 1: Is Caitlyn Jenner good for white people to see in
Speaker 1: mainstream people to see a trans woman or not, because
Speaker 1: she's not an ideal model of what we want a
Speaker 1: trans woman to represent. Is she necessary or is she not.
Speaker 1: I think the conversation that she facilitated was necessary, but
Speaker 1: it also shows us how the conversation that we were
Speaker 1: already having as people, um, as people of color, was
Speaker 1: ignored because Laverne Cox was already on Anges of Black Way,
Speaker 1: before Laverne Cox had been on the cover of Time,
Speaker 1: Laverne Cox had already gotten Mark was in something I
Speaker 1: heard Jennet Mark. Yeah, Jennet Mark was a freaking CNN
Speaker 1: like announcer, Like I didn't know she had a whole
Speaker 1: podcast on the same network as Angela right, Like she
Speaker 1: was doing things right. Um, we had so many black
Speaker 1: trans women who were doing t. S Madison, whether it
Speaker 1: was probabatic or not. Tis Madison was paving the way
Speaker 1: for trans women on social media. And so then you
Speaker 1: have this sixties something year old white man who decides
Speaker 1: I'm going to embrace this truth and become Caitlin, and
Speaker 1: now the world stops. Now the world says, I want
Speaker 1: to pay attention, and it's like we need I have
Speaker 1: a question. I have a question. I know you have
Speaker 1: a couple of left, but there's some questions from listeners,
Speaker 1: a really good one. So my thing is, um, how
Speaker 1: do we I feel like trans is their own section
Speaker 1: of the community. I think I feel like head of
Speaker 1: rules their own sexual LGBT s. How do we get
Speaker 1: it to be more than everybody is in each is
Speaker 1: having this conversation together, because I feel like even if
Speaker 1: t S. Madison's maybe you got the girls that are
Speaker 1: cool with the gay people that have watched the thing
Speaker 1: with Tiffany had or you know, trans, they'll watch it,
Speaker 1: but the hetero sexual people won't just turn and watch it.
Speaker 1: They'll say, oh, that's a trans girl and they'll fast forward.
Speaker 1: Or how do we do that? Like, what exactly is
Speaker 1: the bill that this community like this right by continuing
Speaker 1: to infiltrate spaces like this and so shameless and spaces
Speaker 1: wear black hetero sist men getting people to feel congregate
Speaker 1: one right? And so having Janet mac on the Breakfast
Speaker 1: Club was like a thing even Sydney starts problematic and
Speaker 1: she was just trying to do she was doing the
Speaker 1: thing about trying to expode like Sydney Stars. She was like,
Speaker 1: she's for she's forcing more hetero dudes that like that
Speaker 1: to say, all right, I don't like it. I don't
Speaker 1: like it. I'm not that guy. But my thing is
Speaker 1: that that's your issue though, like it's only because my
Speaker 1: thing is exposing. It is only a powerful tool because
Speaker 1: niggas give a about being getting exposed. But there's also
Speaker 1: the community that's all right, So let's listen to Sydney.
Speaker 1: I didn't like, Okay, could you date somebody that wanted
Speaker 1: to be a little bit closet about your relationship? That's
Speaker 1: a good question. That question I want to ask because
Speaker 1: whereas like I was saying okay with Sydney, like she's
Speaker 1: exposing nigga, because we really want someone who's out now
Speaker 1: with my gay male friends, some of them will date
Speaker 1: men who are in the closet a little like download dudes. Also,
Speaker 1: you can hang with a nigga and just get lunch,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, and be like, oh, there's
Speaker 1: my people. It's a totally different thing. You could. You
Speaker 1: know how much confidence you gotta have in your sexuality,
Speaker 1: Like say, for me, I say, if I met up
Speaker 1: with Hope right now, let's just go to lunch. Do
Speaker 1: people gonna be like, yo, tow's with. I gotta be
Speaker 1: super secure on myself and all that to be able
Speaker 1: to deal with that one. Because that's why I said,
Speaker 1: I know you go through a lot of stuff. That's
Speaker 1: why I meant like that because I know what had
Speaker 1: happened to me. If I was to do that, now,
Speaker 1: they're gonna be like, oh, you did you this, you this,
Speaker 1: you this, you this. And I got to be super
Speaker 1: confident in myself and who I am and proud that
Speaker 1: I have a trans friend and like, that's why I
Speaker 1: don't give a funk what you're talking about. But Reese
Speaker 1: went through that and it was continuous. People will talk
Speaker 1: about mouth. I really love Mouse. He is always posted
Speaker 1: his gay gass friends on a honeymoon kissing, talking with
Speaker 1: gay niggas out here. Like I was at my show,
Speaker 1: the one I did with Jesse and I did a
Speaker 1: dick sucking contest and I had one of my gay
Speaker 1: niggas come up and Mouse was like that nigga is
Speaker 1: getting it in No one has ever. I've never seen
Speaker 1: it them talking to something like it wasn't Drome. Actually
Speaker 1: that was in Atlanta. That was you and Drone. Jerome
Speaker 1: was getting I was actually talking specifically about that show.
Speaker 1: But and you hosted that show. And that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, when you show your confidence, that's right, you
Speaker 1: did it with your shot Jerome Trammel from Atlanta, nobody
Speaker 1: is gonna and that's the thing. Why not you? Why
Speaker 1: don't they be like that nigga. And it's the confidence
Speaker 1: that you exude and that's the difference, like that, don't
Speaker 1: do that. I had to make that. I had to
Speaker 1: make a conscious choice, especially with Jerome um, to say,
Speaker 1: you know what, fuck that, this is my chance right
Speaker 1: now to say I ain't scared. Yeah, and I try
Speaker 1: to continuously do that. But I have a history of
Speaker 1: being homophobia, so I had to make a conscious choice
Speaker 1: to say, yo, you know what, he's a person regards
Speaker 1: of anything else, whatever these choices are in life, however
Speaker 1: he lives his life whatever, respect this person as a
Speaker 1: human being. Fuck everything else. It's not my business. My
Speaker 1: business is that he is a human. It looks like
Speaker 1: recently said whenever niggas he said something about hope un
Speaker 1: quote number, you can't only say when we are gonna,
Speaker 1: are you evened the maybe saying you are gay? Nigea,
Speaker 1: he'd be like, why are you worried about my sex?
Speaker 1: Like why the funk are you worried about what? Dick?
Speaker 1: Obviously are you gay? And it's crazy how people are
Speaker 1: so obsessed with the sex that you have because that's
Speaker 1: what my thing is. So let me be very clear.
Speaker 1: But that's how we all define out. But let me
Speaker 1: be very clear about it. If if Tyler took me out,
Speaker 1: it would be a question, oh damn they because I'm attractive.
Speaker 1: But if he's too Caitlyn Jinn or out, it would
Speaker 1: be jokes about taking Caitlyn Jinner out because nobody wants
Speaker 1: to fun Caitlyn Jenner. They're joking on you because they
Speaker 1: would suck. That's a hell of a good point. They're
Speaker 1: joking on you because they would hear you. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, That would be real. I don't be
Speaker 1: I don't like him. I'm sorry. I didn't like Bruce.
Speaker 1: Nobody likes Bruce. I didn't. I just felt like Bruce
Speaker 1: was phony man, and I didn't like him. And I
Speaker 1: don't like Caitlyn because I think she's phony too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I'm glad she's said it's hiding it all And
Speaker 1: I just think he's he was the whole entity of
Speaker 1: Bruce Slash. It's just weird, Like you just don't get it.
Speaker 1: You just don't think. Also, it's hard for us to
Speaker 1: respect because there's always such a circus around Kardashians, so
Speaker 1: you want to feel for this person, but like I can't.
Speaker 1: It's hard watching a millionaire cry about ship. What do
Speaker 1: we ra time? There's a great question from a listener, Um,
Speaker 1: do black trans women feel a sense of sisterhood? Assists
Speaker 1: black women because I feel like, nah, Um, most of
Speaker 1: the time, I'm going to say that the answer to
Speaker 1: that is nah. And it's just because you're always worried
Speaker 1: about what her intentions truly are. Like when I'm in
Speaker 1: the store and I hate to say, like I just
Speaker 1: at my job, but like when I'm in the store
Speaker 1: and a woman tells me that I'm beautiful, I'm pretty
Speaker 1: unless she's an older woman, because you know, black matriarch
Speaker 1: don't play that ship of a black old woman tells
Speaker 1: you beautiful, but beautiful she means she means that ship.
Speaker 1: But like a lot of the time, when like young
Speaker 1: sis women are saying like, oh girl, you so pretty,
Speaker 1: I'm in my mind, I'm saying, so is this your
Speaker 1: way of telling me that you've clocked me? And I'm
Speaker 1: cute for a trans girl because it's happened like I
Speaker 1: had a girl like one time about four months ago,
Speaker 1: I'm bringing her up and she's sitting there and she's
Speaker 1: just like, oh, yeah, like girl, because I went to
Speaker 1: Miami before. You from Miami, right, And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm from Miami. She's like, yeah, I went to this
Speaker 1: drag brunch girl the drag like and like she was
Speaker 1: laying in on that and then at the end of
Speaker 1: the entire transition let me know that she was cool.
Speaker 1: And then at the end of it, she's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: and girl, by the way, you are working and you
Speaker 1: are just but you wouldn't you wouldn't address But do
Speaker 1: you realize that she doesn't know that's offensive? Like she's
Speaker 1: really trying. I've stopped telling trans women that they're pretty
Speaker 1: that I don't like. Now I'll just talk about their clothes,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about your shoot, I'll talk about something else.
Speaker 1: But you still because I know I could. I've watched it.
Speaker 1: I've seen it happen when it's a genuine compliment, right,
Speaker 1: and I could see like, because now you're feeling like, Okay,
Speaker 1: why do you need to tell the girl next to
Speaker 1: me she was pretty? Maybe she's not pretty, maybe she's not,
Speaker 1: but like, why me and I feel like that's the thing,
Speaker 1: Like why single me out because it's it's not do
Speaker 1: you say it's the way like and people you know
Speaker 1: when somebody but even it's just the way I say it.
Speaker 1: You might look at me, is this this this this
Speaker 1: this head of real and be like no, you're probably
Speaker 1: saying that because you've got these feelings. No, it's but
Speaker 1: my thing is when something is authentic and it's genuine
Speaker 1: and it's just coming from like girl, you it's cute today,
Speaker 1: Like you're wearing that dress. It's different than m Okay,
Speaker 1: you thought you got me, but you're cute, like girl, Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And that's but it's also
Speaker 1: a woman thing. And I think that that's the thing
Speaker 1: between trans women and this woman. I think that a
Speaker 1: lot of sis women see it as a competition, Like
Speaker 1: seeing an attractive trans woman is like, oh damn, this
Speaker 1: another motherfucker I gotta come up against. And especially when
Speaker 1: you're a dark skinned black woman. Right, It's just like,
Speaker 1: as a dark skinned black woman, I got enough things
Speaker 1: going on in this world. Enough of these niggas telling
Speaker 1: me I'm not worthy light skinned because I gotta compete
Speaker 1: with And now I got bitches with dicks, like out
Speaker 1: here you know what I'm like, and so I get it,
Speaker 1: and so I understand it coming from a lot of
Speaker 1: my sisters like women. But it's also like, since I'm
Speaker 1: not the enemy, I do ship to you. I'm out
Speaker 1: here trying to get dick like you're trying to get dick.
Speaker 1: And I'm still a black, dark skinned woman too, So
Speaker 1: bitches is out here coming for me, like, let's be
Speaker 1: sisters for real instead of you coming for me. And
Speaker 1: I think that that's the That's always the thing. It's
Speaker 1: just like being an attractive trans woman's fucking sucks sometimes
Speaker 1: because then you have people piste off at you because
Speaker 1: you're cute, like and it's just like, oh, she's spending
Speaker 1: all of this money on we even shoes, Like but
Speaker 1: if you like, you could do the same thing, the
Speaker 1: same doctor I went to. If you like my books
Speaker 1: so much, go like it's I'm not this magician, like nothing,
Speaker 1: none of this ship is just like by osmosis, outside
Speaker 1: of my genetics. None of this is osmosis. I mean
Speaker 1: to be fair, you are in the community, and like
Speaker 1: I feel like if you have a gay friend of
Speaker 1: your life, you just can't go wrong. So that's really
Speaker 1: what But that's also a stereoid type though, because I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not a gay man's barbie doll though, But
Speaker 1: let's be all things that are fat, architecture, design, makeup clothes.
Speaker 1: I'll be pissed when I'll be seeing makeup. I'd be like,
Speaker 1: how could this happen? Because trans women were the people
Speaker 1: that were the matrioch. And that's the thing, like this
Speaker 1: is this last episode opposed should have schooled a lot.
Speaker 1: What are you saying? Damn it? But makeup? No. So
Speaker 1: the last episode of the like the final scenes that
Speaker 1: it talks about the idea that trans women are out
Speaker 1: here busting their acts. They created these ballroom floors, and
Speaker 1: then when everything took off, guests who rode the wave
Speaker 1: gay men, when it was trans women who put their
Speaker 1: blood and tears into this ship. And it's just like
Speaker 1: gay men get all of this wrapping this hype for
Speaker 1: making it this that in the third but it's like
Speaker 1: transmit more. The women out here doing the research and
Speaker 1: getting the blueprint from women, and trans women were the
Speaker 1: ones out here learning from their sisters who were accepting
Speaker 1: in a time that was it wasn't okay to be accepting,
Speaker 1: learning from their mothers who were actually like not putting
Speaker 1: them out of their homes, how to properly apply their makeup,
Speaker 1: and then taking that to their gay guy friends, and
Speaker 1: then gay guys were just open enough. So we've so
Speaker 1: basically I've been blinded by the cloak of gay man. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of gay men that will straight up
Speaker 1: tell you that they don't support and don't like and
Speaker 1: don't understand. If there's a lot of gay men that
Speaker 1: if you listen to their conversations they sound just like
Speaker 1: since head black men, like you would never know that
Speaker 1: he was gay until he says like like armand Wiggins
Speaker 1: is in trouble. He's also another um like blogger via
Speaker 1: the internet's right now that's in trouble because he's always
Speaker 1: coming for trams girls and he's a like just so
Speaker 1: when T. S. Madison was just recently on um Nikki's
Speaker 1: podcast or whatever, he got online and was like, oh, Nikki,
Speaker 1: you need tell your man friends, like let him know
Speaker 1: the Alan play with that like indirect, but he's always
Speaker 1: coming for her. I was on his podcast one day
Speaker 1: and he came for me like, oh, you're a man though,
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, I don't matter
Speaker 1: how educated you are, you're a man like and it's
Speaker 1: just like he's a gay black man saying this is
Speaker 1: my thing is that it's so much like pride, Like
Speaker 1: we talked about pride and then people will still take
Speaker 1: that from you for your choice and that's like, yo,
Speaker 1: she she has a right to be her. I don't
Speaker 1: know where that this with people feeling like, bro, if
Speaker 1: you ask what you tell me, you you told me
Speaker 1: your program pronounced that's what I'm going rocking way for
Speaker 1: the Rust Show? Why do I give a funk to
Speaker 1: call you something else? And what does it do for me?
Speaker 1: And that's the main root of like homophobian racing, Like
Speaker 1: what do you get out of it? I don't get
Speaker 1: it sometimes I'm always so confused and it really frustrates
Speaker 1: me with men. You know, this morning, I woke up
Speaker 1: and old Bay is the new nick that I'm talking soon.
Speaker 1: I was like, Yeah, I'm so excited for today because
Speaker 1: one of my niggas claims he's transphokeic. I'm like, he ain't,
Speaker 1: but I know he's gonna be asking some questions that
Speaker 1: are weird. We got this trans woman that's coming on
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be fucking lit. And he wanted to
Speaker 1: see your picture and I knew why, and I was like,
Speaker 1: my eyes were rolling, and I'm like, do I get
Speaker 1: angry about it? I want to see her pure? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because he wanted to determine how much respect he was
Speaker 1: going to give he I think he no, I think
Speaker 1: he wanted to know how you would. He was like, oh,
Speaker 1: because I told him I did hit his live show.
Speaker 1: I was like, like, straight up Brooklyn athneck and he
Speaker 1: was like word, He's like, let me see her page.
Speaker 1: And in his mind I know what he was thinking,
Speaker 1: like how is this going to go? How soft is
Speaker 1: he gonna be with her? Like? Those were the things
Speaker 1: I think. I can't speak for him, but I'm not
Speaker 1: really all the way and in one corner, but one
Speaker 1: thing I do and say, I know we have run
Speaker 1: out of time, right, No, I don't know. Benson doing
Speaker 1: some work. So as long as he doing work right,
Speaker 1: if we would say, right a step towards learning for
Speaker 1: people who are all the way in the corner, all
Speaker 1: the way in transfor what's one step right now? If
Speaker 1: you're like, all right, you're worried about people trans people
Speaker 1: in movies or what's one step right now they can
Speaker 1: actually self or do for themselves to open their minds
Speaker 1: or just to consider the possibilities of not being transferred
Speaker 1: or not understanding that it doesn't have to be this
Speaker 1: big declaration, right, it could happen, like the start of
Speaker 1: your journey could be in your house right now on
Speaker 1: Google right. Taking a second to look at documentaries from
Speaker 1: trans people by trans people. Uh So, Janet mac is amazing. Um. Actually,
Speaker 1: my re pressing on Instagram is amazing. Mila jam is amazing. Um.
Speaker 1: Now when you say, like watching these documentaries, like what
Speaker 1: do you want people to see? Do you want them
Speaker 1: to see someone's journey? Do you want them to just
Speaker 1: the need? What do we need they need? It's about
Speaker 1: humanizing people who have been dehumanized and hasn't got it right.
Speaker 1: And so it's about seeing them as sisters, it's about
Speaker 1: seeing them as wives, It's about seeing them as struggling
Speaker 1: artists in New York, right, It's about seeing them in
Speaker 1: their element outside of their gender, because that's always like
Speaker 1: the thing that we wear. Right. But it's like I'm
Speaker 1: more than like Hope the trans girl, Like I've written
Speaker 1: a book, but most people wouldn't even want to talk
Speaker 1: about that ship because they're still focused on my transmiss
Speaker 1: I am a manager in a in a world where
Speaker 1: people say that most trans women have to be escorts,
Speaker 1: and I'm working. I've worked in corporate America, I do
Speaker 1: corporate tours. I've taught it at Netflix, for God's sakes,
Speaker 1: And it's just like it's one of those things where
Speaker 1: people would never get to that part because they're so
Speaker 1: busy focused on if they would have sex with me,
Speaker 1: who is having sex with me, and how we're having sex,
Speaker 1: And it's just like if you take the time to
Speaker 1: see that we're living life and we're going on flights
Speaker 1: and we're getting drunk and making decisions like everybody else.
Speaker 1: And my thing is like, yo, do you really like
Speaker 1: what do you want people to do? Like to anybody
Speaker 1: that hates anybody out there, like, what do you want
Speaker 1: them to do? Take off? People take off? Like reasons
Speaker 1: you know maybe when you think about it, like it's
Speaker 1: always like when you listen to super religious people talking
Speaker 1: about it, they don't they can't get out of their
Speaker 1: head like this is for this, is this is for this,
Speaker 1: Like it's never this, like there's never any profound to
Speaker 1: have so much hate, and I'm like, okay, so what
Speaker 1: do you want them to do? Where the gay people
Speaker 1: they have to just like women, What do you want
Speaker 1: them to do if they get their transferation? What do
Speaker 1: you want them to do? You don't like it? So
Speaker 1: where do they go in your world? How do they
Speaker 1: That's actually a question I want to ask. They said,
Speaker 1: how do you feel safe? Where? Where is this safe
Speaker 1: space for you? When the world is too much? That's
Speaker 1: what someone asked. I mean, I think a lot of
Speaker 1: make it. I'm dead if I don't place one of
Speaker 1: my one of my friends was actually talking to me
Speaker 1: about that, because I'm very much so when I say
Speaker 1: there's a difference between being an activist and an advocate
Speaker 1: ad the kids are just people that are voices and mouthpieces.
Speaker 1: I'm an activist. So you'll see me on CNN at
Speaker 1: the front of the riot like I'm down to like
Speaker 1: I'll put on makeup and I'll take this shot off
Speaker 1: and put on some times and some sweatpants and i
Speaker 1: will go and fight with the police. Bitch colors. Let's
Speaker 1: a like, I'm like, I'm tying it up and I'm
Speaker 1: whipping your asks about these trans rights, Like I don't
Speaker 1: have time out here in these streets. But I think
Speaker 1: that my safe place has been with my friends. It's
Speaker 1: been with my my mom who has been coming around.
Speaker 1: It's been It's such a dope thing to hear consider
Speaker 1: and now your safe space that that's really shows you
Speaker 1: like there can be growth. I don't want to say
Speaker 1: change that growth growth. Yeah. One thing I just want
Speaker 1: to say, um, from my point of view is um,
Speaker 1: I don't I cannot sit in y'all faces, in anybody's
Speaker 1: face and say that I'm always going to say the
Speaker 1: right thing or always gonna understand. But I can't say
Speaker 1: that I'm working on it and I'm trying, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So obviously you could have a conversation
Speaker 1: with me and be like you don't get it, and
Speaker 1: then maybe I'll get it later on. But we need
Speaker 1: to be able to have that conversation. So we need
Speaker 1: like people don't be scared to reach out to Hope
Speaker 1: if you have questions respectfully, because I think that's all
Speaker 1: about the way. I think a great thing is like
Speaker 1: people are scared to ask questions, but I think people
Speaker 1: respect like in their defense because I've seen trans women
Speaker 1: get defensive, like I love Jane Max, she's one of
Speaker 1: my mentors, but like on the Breakfast Club and she
Speaker 1: said I'm sick of doing trans one on one like
Speaker 1: read my book. I was like, bitch, hold up, that's
Speaker 1: not that's not the answer. You're gonna forever and always
Speaker 1: be doing trans one on one because this when you
Speaker 1: had the chance to to be Stells and be on
Speaker 1: CNN and live your life and nobody knew when you
Speaker 1: had your cute little husband and a little dog. You
Speaker 1: gave that up to be visible. And so now as
Speaker 1: a visible trans woman, trans one on one is a
Speaker 1: part of your job. You know what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: want to ask a question that I didn't that I
Speaker 1: think is weird but interesting. We kind of want to
Speaker 1: know a question when taking like estrogen and ship, what
Speaker 1: were the first things that you saw, Like what's a
Speaker 1: change in you five years ago? Was it full? It lives?
Speaker 1: Is it? Like? What do you think is the biggest
Speaker 1: difference for transitioning from medicine not just like hair and makeup? Wait? Wait,
Speaker 1: weight and the way that my skin felt oh um?
Speaker 1: Because I played sports like my entire life, whether it
Speaker 1: was running track, football, basketball, like you name it, I
Speaker 1: played it um and so I was always muscular and
Speaker 1: super skinny like any given point in my life, I
Speaker 1: was solid um. But it was always solid, so I
Speaker 1: never looked like a twig. I was just like muscular um.
Speaker 1: And So it was one of those things where when
Speaker 1: I started to take hormones, I noticed that when I
Speaker 1: was gaining weight like crazy, because there was all these
Speaker 1: fucking cravings of everything um, and then my skin felt different.
Speaker 1: It was just like, I don't know, it's just softer
Speaker 1: and like I know it's men making comments about it
Speaker 1: like oh you saw like damn you just like it's yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, it's just like the skin was
Speaker 1: the first thing that I saw. Like, now someone asked
Speaker 1: about your mental sta, did you feel more emotional or anything? Yes, Um,
Speaker 1: I started crying as stupid shit like I watched this
Speaker 1: thing movie, which is the fucking like Kid movie. It's
Speaker 1: a cartoon kid movie about sucking singing animals. And at
Speaker 1: the end when Tory Kelly saying, like the song that's
Speaker 1: supposed to be inspirational, I'm boo who fucking crying like
Speaker 1: I'm like legit, like in my bag just I'm a
Speaker 1: leo a little girls, you know, almost started crying when
Speaker 1: she was talking about the bar story, so I had
Speaker 1: to keep looking above her head just so I wouldn't
Speaker 1: like black eyes. But mentally like I'm always like it's
Speaker 1: always I don't know, Like I fight really hard with
Speaker 1: myself now to not be depressed, because there's a lot
Speaker 1: of days like I'll wake up and I'm just like
Speaker 1: just for me, as of late, it's been aesthetics. Like
Speaker 1: my life is fine, like I'm financially stable, everything is good,
Speaker 1: but aesthetics has been like my biggest thing is like
Speaker 1: do I pass this person from like two weeks ago
Speaker 1: clock me? Like like stupid dumb ship and I wake
Speaker 1: up just any given morning. How that could become obsessive?
Speaker 1: You know? Like that do you feel like you're overdoing
Speaker 1: yourself like makeup, dressing? Like because of that? No, Like
Speaker 1: even the night that I went lout with Taho, I
Speaker 1: had just come from work, I was beat the funk down,
Speaker 1: and I made it a point to take off my
Speaker 1: makeup before I got on there. How did you even
Speaker 1: find that? Okay? So I just want people to realize, like, yo,
Speaker 1: it's crazy, no, just how you affect people. I really
Speaker 1: be thinking about that a lot, A lot like me
Speaker 1: and I don't know why I care so much, but
Speaker 1: I really be thinking about how what people take from
Speaker 1: um moments with me because I might I'm a very
Speaker 1: what do you call it? Sensitive and sensitive person, so
Speaker 1: I could be I could be sensitive about what you
Speaker 1: do to me and super insensitive to somebody else. What
Speaker 1: are you thinking about? What affect how you made Hope feel,
Speaker 1: how she made you feel? I thought about it, and
Speaker 1: like the next day, I so she followed me, and
Speaker 1: I didn't wish to follow her, So I was like,
Speaker 1: you let me follow because I don't want to think
Speaker 1: that I'm judging on that had I had so much
Speaker 1: commentary about that, like because after I left you, I
Speaker 1: went live on my page and we actually had an
Speaker 1: interesting exchange about it because I was a conspiracy theories
Speaker 1: at night because the video didn't save, and I remember
Speaker 1: you saying that the video probably wouldn't save. But my
Speaker 1: ask that Nigga deleted how did you know that? Because
Speaker 1: I went back to look Nigga. I was trying to
Speaker 1: get I was trying to get highlights and ship can
Speaker 1: be real. I hate being on someone's life, like I
Speaker 1: don't know how someone stays on mine when I have
Speaker 1: another screen, because it sounded always that I would have
Speaker 1: loved to have that. I was so invested. I was
Speaker 1: mad proud of myself to see like I was like.
Speaker 1: One interesting thing I took away from that live was
Speaker 1: you were saying like, yo, let me talk to up,
Speaker 1: and you were like, you sound so angry, and then
Speaker 1: you said, I'm only or sounding like this because you
Speaker 1: can't understand how many times I've had this fucking conversation.
Speaker 1: And I get it because it's not you. Just like
Speaker 1: when you said, I know you go through ship. I
Speaker 1: didn't think you meant it that way either, but she
Speaker 1: heard it a certain way. It's just like when white
Speaker 1: people give us a look and we'd be like, bitch.
Speaker 1: So I can't be in this restaurant and be like, no,
Speaker 1: you look right. You know, it's like it's hired to
Speaker 1: fuck hearing it. Um. We didn't go over transvestite and training.
Speaker 1: And I want to talk about those words, what they mean,
Speaker 1: where they come from, a deep rooted ship with them now.
Speaker 1: When I was growing up, my mother and father used
Speaker 1: to have it out. So I was born in San France.
Speaker 1: My godmother was a drag queen full On. Um, I'm
Speaker 1: just my mother is a total hag. Like I grew
Speaker 1: up with my mom just in it, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, even still to this day like all of
Speaker 1: her friends and now it's I am my mother's child.
Speaker 1: But I remember my dad said to me one day, like,
Speaker 1: did you know that uncle Judy is a trans met stite?
Speaker 1: And I was like uncle Judy, I recalled her uncle's
Speaker 1: Judy and my mom attention, why did he? Why did he?
Speaker 1: I think he just didn't understand that. I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I was very but I remember that word. Remember their argument.
Speaker 1: And my father is a lot older and and it's
Speaker 1: taking him time. He's way better now, totally great about
Speaker 1: it now. But I remember my mom talking about that word,
Speaker 1: and I've never heard that word today and it's trans
Speaker 1: best I just would we did. Here is the slurest
Speaker 1: training now yeah, it's just been shortened to training now
Speaker 1: because I used to think him across just like I
Speaker 1: didn't get it, Okay, transvesti is the official word or
Speaker 1: transvestide would be like I guess they would call it
Speaker 1: the medical term for what like medical people were breaking
Speaker 1: it down part now, what's trans sexual? Trans sexual is
Speaker 1: when that's what we like to say. The people who
Speaker 1: have been posted that right, Okay, so they're not transgendal
Speaker 1: you have had that makes sense. So you changed your
Speaker 1: sex gender versus sex as a gender, you are somebody
Speaker 1: who identifies with that gender. Trans and trying to vest
Speaker 1: say are derogatory terms created by white folks who oppressed
Speaker 1: trans people. Transgender is the person who is pre up,
Speaker 1: has not changed their gender, but identifies with the opposite
Speaker 1: sex or sex that they were not assigned at birth.
Speaker 1: Trans Sexual is somebody who has now matched their sex
Speaker 1: with their gender. Now, we had the last trance and
Speaker 1: when we had on UM, Jamie Paris said that she no, no, no,
Speaker 1: they were talking about parties. There's there's a thing on Midtown.
Speaker 1: They called them training parties, um, and she was saying
Speaker 1: like it depends how you take the word or something
Speaker 1: like that. I can't quote with her. I'll try to
Speaker 1: put the clip in there. I remember, but all I
Speaker 1: know is she said I gave a little pass on it.
Speaker 1: And it was awkward for me to listen to because
Speaker 1: I've been thinking and trying to learn this whole time
Speaker 1: that training is a bad word. Now when you do
Speaker 1: see training parties like things like that that that exists,
Speaker 1: It's in New York. There's t best party training parties
Speaker 1: things like that, like what do you do? Have you
Speaker 1: seen trans women letting that word be okay? And how
Speaker 1: do those conference? I've seen plenty of trans women letting
Speaker 1: me that be okay. But I've also had to through activism.
Speaker 1: I've learned, um to not be so judgmental because I
Speaker 1: come from a place of privilege as a black trans
Speaker 1: woman who has two degrees right um, and has worked
Speaker 1: in a multiple array of different places. And so it
Speaker 1: came off as I was talking down on people. And
Speaker 1: I've learned just from like different girls that like it's
Speaker 1: different strucks for different folks because there's different environments. And
Speaker 1: so I think a lot of the trans women who
Speaker 1: have come up in the paint and had to live
Speaker 1: and walk and and make it on the streets, that's
Speaker 1: those words that they have taken back, right, And so
Speaker 1: it's like, no, you're not gonna call me a training.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go home and cry, I'm not gonna do
Speaker 1: that anymore. Yeah, I'm a training, So what got it?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? There, they've reclaimed it Now.
Speaker 1: For me, I'm still not accepting that you're not going
Speaker 1: to call me a training and think that that's a
Speaker 1: proper way to address me. That's just not for me.
Speaker 1: But I'm also not going to tell the next woman
Speaker 1: that the way that she's empowered herself is wrong. Is
Speaker 1: t girl a slur? Tea girl known? But I think
Speaker 1: it's more so of an Asian thing like tea girl,
Speaker 1: lady boy Like those things are like more so Asian culture.
Speaker 1: I've seen it. Um, I want to I keep saying
Speaker 1: the most one of the last question, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you got any that you can cook up in
Speaker 1: your head. I did want to ask. Someone said, how
Speaker 1: do we break the cycle? Of The question says something
Speaker 1: along the lines of, like trans women promote sex work,
Speaker 1: how do we break that cycle? Now? I assume it's
Speaker 1: because they can't get jobs anywhere else, because mother buckers
Speaker 1: like now, which is why I think sex work is
Speaker 1: the option. But I am curious to know, like trans
Speaker 1: like breaking the cycles, it's something that's necessary. How do
Speaker 1: we keep trans women the safe? My thing is we
Speaker 1: are the first, the first, first, and foremost before trans
Speaker 1: people to stop promoting the idea of sex work. We
Speaker 1: have to make sure that trans people can be employed
Speaker 1: right at the living at a livable wage. But most
Speaker 1: people in America can't be avoided livable wage, let alone
Speaker 1: trans people. Um. But I think that it's also about
Speaker 1: promoting things from trans people with sucking. Oh girl, Um,
Speaker 1: it's about the type of people that trans It's about
Speaker 1: you know, what were you about to say, like, let
Speaker 1: me tell you she's just slapped her. It's that be
Speaker 1: so shameless in this woman. You've been in here doing
Speaker 1: it for a minute and forty seconds. Ba bye bye
Speaker 1: ba by. But you it's about the type of people.
Speaker 1: It's about the type of trans people that folks promote. Right,
Speaker 1: So when we have people like Cookie Cookie, when we
Speaker 1: had like when t s Madisine was first beginning and
Speaker 1: she was only talking about like being the big the
Speaker 1: big black dick training or whatever the case may be.
Speaker 1: When we have people like my good girlfriend Shawn of Brooks,
Speaker 1: who is openly advertising her only fans page right, those
Speaker 1: girls have umpteen thousand million followers. And then a girl
Speaker 1: like me who was openly trying to tell you guys,
Speaker 1: how trying to educate you guys like people who are
Speaker 1: not associated with like the Laverne Coxes of the world,
Speaker 1: or people who aren't associated to people who are out
Speaker 1: of the hierarchy. We can't get folks to save by
Speaker 1: our lives, to listen to our ship until a white
Speaker 1: person validates our voice. And it's just like, if you
Speaker 1: want to like, not all trans women are sex workers,
Speaker 1: but the ones that aren't sex workers don't get no
Speaker 1: views because y'all don't give a ship. White trans women
Speaker 1: have you seen them get? Yes, there's so many programs
Speaker 1: for white trans women to get fucking surgeries, and they
Speaker 1: have access to all different types of doctors that black
Speaker 1: women and Latina trans women don't have access to they have.
Speaker 1: And then you have to remember transitioning as a white
Speaker 1: woman is completely different from transitioning as a trans woman
Speaker 1: of color, let alone a black trans woman. White trans
Speaker 1: women every now and then we hear about issues with
Speaker 1: them and their family, But then there's always some like
Speaker 1: Aunt Karen, bitch from next door, like come on and
Speaker 1: da da da da, and I'll pay for your twenty
Speaker 1: dollars surgery. G gorgeous transitioned over fucking eight. The bitch
Speaker 1: was Gregory all of a sudden, like one day, seriously no,
Speaker 1: but seriously, no, but no, seriously. She was online as
Speaker 1: Gregory Georgia, Gregory Gorgeous, and then one day came out
Speaker 1: and was like, oh I'm Gigi now you know, thank
Speaker 1: you guys so much. I'm going to create a go
Speaker 1: fund me for you guys to help me with my ship.
Speaker 1: In less than about a year, bitch was sickening, snatched
Speaker 1: in a year, boobs, face, lips, eyes, we've hair transplant everything,
Speaker 1: hair transplant in a year. Yeah, So not to that
Speaker 1: because I wanted to finish a point on that, but
Speaker 1: I just realized that I have I have a transgirl
Speaker 1: file with me, and I see in her pictures she
Speaker 1: doesn't look happy. So I don't know if that's the
Speaker 1: depression that you were saying or the stress from just
Speaker 1: living and you know she does and have trains and
Speaker 1: her um biomet not saying that she should, but if
Speaker 1: you would to be able to give a message to
Speaker 1: those people out there who are living under that type
Speaker 1: of stress right now, Men that had that are dealing
Speaker 1: with that, families that have that in there, like, what
Speaker 1: would you say to them, like to keep them going
Speaker 1: and waking up the next day, Because I really want
Speaker 1: to see people past thirty five, like, that's the worst
Speaker 1: thing I've ever heard. It's important, It's important to validate yourself, right.
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of trans folks are Our
Speaker 1: existence is based on the idea of being validated. Does
Speaker 1: he accept me? Does she accept me? Do they accept me?
Speaker 1: When my job accept me? And so there's always this
Speaker 1: question of who else accepts me except me? And so
Speaker 1: for me, getting out of those funks and getting out
Speaker 1: of that depression is about making sure that I can
Speaker 1: validate myself. Like bit girl, you did the damn thing.
Speaker 1: You got about the hood, You graduated that stuff in team,
Speaker 1: got your first degree at like twenty, got your second
Speaker 1: one at like twenty one. But you had your own crab,
Speaker 1: your own car, you got your dream life, left your
Speaker 1: dream life, fuck your shut up, rebuild your ship back together,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And now you're here contemplating
Speaker 1: whether or not like you did the damn thing, and
Speaker 1: even if that is not your story, right, even if
Speaker 1: that's not your narrative, Even if you just got off
Speaker 1: of the piers last night and somebody robbed you from
Speaker 1: your date money and now you have no way to
Speaker 1: pay your rent, but you're here and you got dates
Speaker 1: last night. There's a girl last night that did not
Speaker 1: get dates. Validate that ship, like the validation from all
Speaker 1: these other people. And whether or not you pass, or
Speaker 1: whether or not somebody's gonna like your spouse, or whether
Speaker 1: or not your homeboys are gonna john on you because
Speaker 1: you dating this person or you find this person attractive,
Speaker 1: Like fund them niggas, because them niggas eating rama noodles.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go take this same trans that they're laughing out,
Speaker 1: like to the best restaurant out here. Just a lesson
Speaker 1: of this trans women busy pussy when right whatever, And
Speaker 1: because that that's the thing, especially like to my men.
Speaker 1: I think that it's always crazy because I always see
Speaker 1: like men who are attracted or open minded to certain things.
Speaker 1: Y'all niggas are the ones like with money doing ship
Speaker 1: and then y'all trying to impress niggas that ain't got
Speaker 1: ship on the black doing nothing. Is it, trans trans woman?
Speaker 1: Is it easy of being a transman? It is to
Speaker 1: be a trans of course, and and they hate to
Speaker 1: admit it, but but it is. And it's just because
Speaker 1: most trans men, if you don't pass, you're seen as
Speaker 1: a lesbian that it really gives a shit about lesbian
Speaker 1: is and if you if you passed as a man,
Speaker 1: you just passed. And so there's not a lot of
Speaker 1: issues socially. Now I will say that transmants don't have
Speaker 1: the health care issues. There's still issues around pregnancy and
Speaker 1: you know, reform for trans men, right, what's reform like?
Speaker 1: So health care reform. So the way that we're talking
Speaker 1: about pregnancy as if it's just a women's issue, when
Speaker 1: now it is indeed a man's issue as well, because
Speaker 1: there are trans meant that are getting pregnant. But when
Speaker 1: a man comes into the yard and says, hey, I'm pregnant,
Speaker 1: they're like, no, I'm serious. Um, so you think nigga
Speaker 1: like us said fix me right. Yeah, we had a
Speaker 1: trans in out here. I run shout out to Rush
Speaker 1: London from b K Chat that nigga looked, boy, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be real most I haven't seen any black trans men,
Speaker 1: just like a lot of white but like, fuck, you
Speaker 1: just had it and it was funish and he had
Speaker 1: a British accent and all I could think to myself
Speaker 1: was like, I don't give a but what he got
Speaker 1: going on because everybody's like, do he how do you
Speaker 1: get a dick? Did it? I was like, who cares?
Speaker 1: Then he looks so good, I'll make it work. I
Speaker 1: feel like women are more accepting, like just going something
Speaker 1: like that because it's it's just more pressure because women
Speaker 1: aren't judged for for not in that way. Women are
Speaker 1: judged everything but sexual right Sexually, women are not. We're
Speaker 1: essential essential. It's like, oh, that's sex. This was so
Speaker 1: enlightening for me because you know, I wanna be an
Speaker 1: ally and make sure I'm saying the right things. But
Speaker 1: I learned a lot. You couldn't tell me the game
Speaker 1: and he didn't make makeup every palette I got. It
Speaker 1: was the nigga behind it, like nah this yeah, we
Speaker 1: name it and honey, love the fuck that's my favorite lipstick. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people needed this too, because
Speaker 1: I think we covered questions that were uncomfortable to ask
Speaker 1: and not so fun, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: I think like you want to hear the things like oh,
Speaker 1: tell us about the NIA was on the DL and
Speaker 1: did it up? But it ain't really the conversation is
Speaker 1: needed more than That's more the novelty like tell us
Speaker 1: the fucking tea more than like teach us. That's why
Speaker 1: I was excited with like, you hit me up because
Speaker 1: I knew that you wanted to have a conversation that
Speaker 1: was going to be different. I did because I usually
Speaker 1: have the force people I have this conversation. I knew
Speaker 1: that you wanted like it was your intention to have
Speaker 1: this conversation. Were so my intention because I think there's
Speaker 1: a very glamorous thing that can happen when you want
Speaker 1: to have a trans want on highlight how awesome she
Speaker 1: is and that she's the same, but I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about exactly why she's different and how it's different
Speaker 1: from what we do every day, how it's different from
Speaker 1: me being Light's intermixed, difference from you being assists head
Speaker 1: black man. We are black in the day, but everybody's
Speaker 1: walking a different paths here. But like, no, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's great, and I can't wait to hear you on
Speaker 1: So Shameless too. It's definitely gonna invite it. It's So
Speaker 1: Shameless podcast. I'm trying to think what angle are you
Speaker 1: about to take? I'm not sure because I gotta listen back.
Speaker 1: Nah nah see, I'm well, I'm definitely about respect I
Speaker 1: don't like bringing people on my show to disrespect them.
Speaker 1: That was the only reason I felt bad about having
Speaker 1: that girl back, going here, Oh you're gonna I wasn't
Speaker 1: gonna be disrespectful. But I know that I knew that
Speaker 1: I would dance around. I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: it would have been difficult for her to dance around
Speaker 1: a lot of the questions I would have. I just can't.
Speaker 1: It's really hard for me when black women start that ship.
Speaker 1: But see, that's the thing. You got to have educational moments,
Speaker 1: and and that's where we are, and the fact that
Speaker 1: we have our platforms, and I think the people were
Speaker 1: really intelligent. You know a lot of times ignorance people
Speaker 1: hide behind it. Right, He'll take like a fucking white
Speaker 1: supremacist and can break it down. But I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I'm that suave enough to sit in front of
Speaker 1: somebody that I know is transphobic, in front of a
Speaker 1: trans woman, like I don't think I could do it,
Speaker 1: because immediately I was gonna say I was gonna, let's
Speaker 1: be very clear, you think she would. People are real
Speaker 1: easy at being keyboard gangsters when a person is not
Speaker 1: in their face. But I've never run into Like even
Speaker 1: some of the hardest niggas, like they'll say whatever they
Speaker 1: want to say online, but they'll see that same old
Speaker 1: game board Day was talking too and be like, man,
Speaker 1: I going somewhere with that, Like you know, but it's
Speaker 1: never the same, It's never the same energy. Now. The Internet, really,
Speaker 1: the Internet emboldens people to feel because they don't feel
Speaker 1: like like, oh she and d C, I'm never going
Speaker 1: to meet this. All I do when people talk to
Speaker 1: me aline is like when I'm alive, it's like requests
Speaker 1: to go alive with them, and then when they answered,
Speaker 1: they be like, yo eezy wild you know you're not
Speaker 1: you're cute. Um, so I want us to all drop
Speaker 1: our ship. Um, I want to tell you guys something.
Speaker 1: So I've been working on this new podcast I've told
Speaker 1: some of you guys. It's called I'm ducked Up. It's
Speaker 1: just the season, And it started from me getting so
Speaker 1: fucked up on i G Live and telling these dumbass
Speaker 1: drunk as stories. Right, So I'm like, Okay, I want
Speaker 1: to do something alone with nobody in the room whatever.
Speaker 1: So I recorded all this content and they got'm fucked up,
Speaker 1: Like fu up story. It's really bad. But um, I
Speaker 1: ended up all the shift content I had got sucked up,
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it. So I'm redoing the stories.
Speaker 1: And now each episode I'm doing is gonna be based
Speaker 1: on one thing. For example, it could be the category,
Speaker 1: could be ship, it could be gay, it could be um,
Speaker 1: I don't know a time that you cried. And basically
Speaker 1: one story is me alone and the others be featuring somebody.
Speaker 1: So if you have a story that you would like
Speaker 1: to share with me, and you live in New York
Speaker 1: or somewhere, I could take a train to not Feeling Never,
Speaker 1: I mean a train like in New York, I want
Speaker 1: to come and um, yeah I get your side of
Speaker 1: the story. I barely talk. I just want you to
Speaker 1: let it all out. But um, it's been really fun
Speaker 1: and I need some more content for it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you. Do you know how hard it
Speaker 1: is to like be drunk and also have to record
Speaker 1: yourself because I can't come to a studio, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So I just get funked up in
Speaker 1: my house. Think I'm recording go on for thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: I'll be like, wow, that shouldn't even on. Ain't no
Speaker 1: red light is terrible and people be like, yo, where
Speaker 1: is it? And I'd be like, dog, I thought I
Speaker 1: had content, But it's just like a lot of production
Speaker 1: because you have to weed out, like there's sometimes when
Speaker 1: you can't tell what I'm saying, so I had to
Speaker 1: input my own voice, like oh the word that I said,
Speaker 1: that's how up I sounded. So it's just a lot
Speaker 1: of um work. So yes, if you guys have a story,
Speaker 1: write me the Wheezy w t F at gmail dot
Speaker 1: com for your home mail. There is none today because
Speaker 1: all y'all sending questions and those two horrible decisions at
Speaker 1: GM dot com. Let's start with Taho. Where can they
Speaker 1: find you? And what stuff do you have coming up?
Speaker 1: And you just did your live show. Oh yeah, my
Speaker 1: my name is Taho Underscore TV on all platforms. Um
Speaker 1: I have this so shameless podcast with miss dager Bell
Speaker 1: bisexual woman and uh my my my other friend DJ
Speaker 1: Trauma NYC. And we just talk a bisexual mom. I
Speaker 1: feel like that's important. I like that you have a
Speaker 1: mom on she reads me to filth every week. You know,
Speaker 1: we we have really interested in uh conversations from a
Speaker 1: friend point of view that aren't scared to argue and
Speaker 1: get down to the nitty greedy about some real ship.
Speaker 1: And so, you know, it's one of those podcasts where
Speaker 1: you're you're on one person's side and you're yelling at them,
Speaker 1: and the other person has a bunch of other people,
Speaker 1: maybe people in your family and the other person's side,
Speaker 1: and they're yelling at you. And you know, I will
Speaker 1: say this, your podcast gets me in my feelings, not
Speaker 1: like emotionally, but like sometimes i'll listen to it, I'll
Speaker 1: be annoyed and sometimes but I like things like that.
Speaker 1: When you fel something this controversial. It's one of those
Speaker 1: things where you go to work and be like, what
Speaker 1: do you think about this? I'm the seeker. I'd be like, right, right, No,
Speaker 1: I know you'll be doing us to us. And you know,
Speaker 1: that's why it's called so shameless, because we do what
Speaker 1: most people are scared to do in today's society, save
Speaker 1: what's on people's minds. You know, people, everybody's like kind
Speaker 1: of programmed, and I don't really believe that it's all real, because,
Speaker 1: like I said, you'll act one way in front of
Speaker 1: people and then behind closed doors be a whole completely
Speaker 1: different way or be um um influenced in a whole
Speaker 1: different way than what's real. I just I just we
Speaker 1: like keeping it fucking funky. I so shameless, and we
Speaker 1: hope to have hope on the show, Dods begging me
Speaker 1: to be here today, and I really wish she wanted
Speaker 1: to be. She wanted to hope to be with us
Speaker 1: because we're supposed to be called today. We don't by Dodge,
Speaker 1: can't wait to hug you, talk to you. It's just hope.
Speaker 1: It's so inspiring, you know. I think it's just because
Speaker 1: like you say everything that we really want you to
Speaker 1: say without, in my opinion, being defensive. Like I think
Speaker 1: that I've seen some trans women be annoyed when to dude,
Speaker 1: just like I don't know if I could be to
Speaker 1: trans women like well why not? It was like that,
Speaker 1: I don't want to why it's not for me. I'm
Speaker 1: so glad we had this conversation me too. Where can
Speaker 1: they find you, Hope? I know you got a book. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put that information in the description, but like, yeah,
Speaker 1: tell people where they can find you when you have
Speaker 1: upcoming and like it is hope disguised for those of you.
Speaker 1: I don't how to spell disguise D I S g
Speaker 1: U I S E D hope disguise all one word
Speaker 1: on every single social media platform that you could possibly think.
Speaker 1: I try to keep it easy. Hope this Hope gisele
Speaker 1: dot com for people who don't g I S E
Speaker 1: l l E. We're gonna put that like when you're
Speaker 1: listening to the episode, you can always, like I think,
Speaker 1: swipe up on it and it will show the info
Speaker 1: and those things will be in there. Boom, so all
Speaker 1: of that, and then the book is available on Amazon, Eyebooks,
Speaker 1: my website, UM, certain Barns and Nobles, because I think
Speaker 1: most of them have sold out of it. Um. But
Speaker 1: the book is called Becoming Hope Removing the Disguise. You
Speaker 1: see that flex I can't mean since it's so sold out.
Speaker 1: And I think the latest thing that I have coming
Speaker 1: up I will be on the Own Network September seventh.
Speaker 1: It is just it's like a it's a little clip.
Speaker 1: They're just using a clip. UM on the own network.
Speaker 1: They're having uh this new series called Black Women Owned
Speaker 1: the Conversation. UM. My episode is episode three. It's the
Speaker 1: LGBT episode featuring Angelica Ross and a couple of other
Speaker 1: like inspiring women. Um, but I will be on that
Speaker 1: episode that no More. By the way, so I just
Speaker 1: said op nigga, it's just a no, it's opra. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's like the closest thing that I have coming up.
Speaker 1: And apparently they're so stame this podcast. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: you need a link with all podcasters. I'm sure we
Speaker 1: all feel inspired. I would love for you to get
Speaker 1: in the room and read some dumb niggas. I really would, seriously,
Speaker 1: Like I really, we're going to have some conversation. I
Speaker 1: know a lot of my my listeners they're dealing with
Speaker 1: their own true so they're gonna hit me up, like yo,
Speaker 1: I'm gonny to have those conversations. And it's crazy because
Speaker 1: I'm the one saying this and they know me from
Speaker 1: Nord so they're like, yo, yo, what's up with you?
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of on something like yo, bro, Like
Speaker 1: like I said, what do you want them to do?
Speaker 1: And why does it make you so mad? I know
Speaker 1: I think that, Like that's a bad Like that's a
Speaker 1: valid ask question. Really, why doesn't make you so mad?
Speaker 1: What the next person is doing? You want them to? Like,
Speaker 1: we're here, this is where we live at and I'd
Speaker 1: much rather educate my friends. My children got kids. I
Speaker 1: don't want my kids going up hateful. You know, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be the new white man. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be the new race. One of the most
Speaker 1: important things you said today. That's right, you have two
Speaker 1: three kids? You have three or four? Boy? Let's move on? Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you mean? We're about to go? But like,
Speaker 1: for real, you got three or for are you have
Speaker 1: a test underway or you just don't know if you
Speaker 1: have before? You know? I think, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is what episode. I'd like the number? Thank you, me too,
Speaker 1: but three or four? All right, y'all. Check out this
Speaker 1: Patreon clip me and man, you're gonna be in and
Speaker 1: I guess uh but bye. Kevin So, Kevin Um is
Speaker 1: battling with his sexuality and although he has never been
Speaker 1: with a man, Kevin Um decides to come forward to chair.
Speaker 1: So he's on grinder, so you see him become really
Speaker 1: enthralled into his phone and he's swiping a lot, but
Speaker 1: on these gay mail apps, so he has not yet
Speaker 1: acted on penis. But he's like like, is this what
Speaker 1: I want? Is it not what I want? You see
Speaker 1: him kind of have these different interactions with men that
Speaker 1: come onto the scene in different um cases as well.
Speaker 1: And so finally he comes forward to Charity while she's pregnant,
Speaker 1: m ad. She's about to hop hop she she maybe
Speaker 1: how she got pregnant though he seems so and I
Speaker 1: feel like you in the beginning was in season one
Speaker 1: when he like they're having sex and then he like
Speaker 1: rolls over and he's like back on. That's so they're
Speaker 1: trying to have a baby. They're having sex. But as
Speaker 1: soon as they're done having sex, he does he rolls
Speaker 1: over and gets back on this grinder act to swipe men.
Speaker 1: So she thinks he's She thinks he's cheating because she's like,
Speaker 1: you've been in your phone? Is it? Give me your phone?
Speaker 1: Which again, this could this is a lot of things
Speaker 1: that happened in a lot of couples. You see your
Speaker 1: man change pattern and he's in his phone. Now, nigga,
Speaker 1: who you want to file with exactly because normally I'll
Speaker 1: be putting your ask to sleep. So what you're doing now?
Speaker 1: She didn't know that he was swiping, so basically right,
Speaker 1: she had to be what seven eight months right before
Speaker 1: water breaking with twins, Kevin comes to charity, and it's like,
Speaker 1: I just I don't know what's wrong with me, but
Speaker 1: I have feelings for men. He didn't say he was
Speaker 1: having sex with men. He just knew that he was
Speaker 1: having some sort of weird curiosity sexual arousal from men.
Speaker 1: UM and so although he does not act on this immediately,
Speaker 1: she kind of doesn't know how to react. So before
Speaker 1: we dig into this UM, as you guys know, this
Speaker 1: is something that I've talked about on the podcast quite
Speaker 1: a lot. UM. I feel like that I am a
Speaker 1: woman who would be open to dating a man who
Speaker 1: was either experimenting, curious, has dealt with other men in
Speaker 1: the past, or has dealt with or curious and trans women.
Speaker 1: And UM, these are all also facts to men who
Speaker 1: have previously been on my phone over the last I
Speaker 1: would say ten years. UM, I have gotten them to
Speaker 1: open up about this. UM. So, as someone in banking
Speaker 1: and someone in law, we have too smart, brilliant UM
Speaker 1: minority women here. I want to know you guys just
Speaker 1: take on. If a man came to you and let
Speaker 1: you know that he was either interested in men or
Speaker 1: trans or questioned his sexuality, is that something that you
Speaker 1: would move forward with and why or why not, um
Speaker 1: who wants to take this first? Um? Back in the day,
Speaker 1: I would be like, hey, no, get the funk on
Speaker 1: my face. But they just said I listen to horrible decisions.
Speaker 1: And no, I'm serious, Like I think as I've gotten older,
Speaker 1: I've evolved sexually, like as you should as you get older,
Speaker 1: like it gets better, you learn more stuff. So now
Speaker 1: I'm I'm okay with it. Like now I'll be like, okay,
Speaker 1: like how you want to do this? Do you wan?
Speaker 1: Do you want me there? Do you not want me there?
Speaker 1: Because before I would have been like hell no, like
Speaker 1: I can't deal with it, Like there's something a man
Speaker 1: has that I can't give you. But if it's just
Speaker 1: something you you feel like you can't truly be yourself,
Speaker 1: who am I to stop you from doing that? Because
Speaker 1: you're not going to be living in yourself. Here's my question.
Speaker 1: If you know you can't give him what a man
Speaker 1: may give him, would you be okay with being in
Speaker 1: the room with him and another man? Or oh you
Speaker 1: would today? And so no, like