1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,560 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for 2 00:00:01,720 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Subject, I need 3 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:10,479 Speaker 1: my husband's permission to have sex all right, Dear Stephen Shirley. 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 1: I'm in my late forties and I'm married to a 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 1: wonderful man. We had a very normal sex life until 6 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:21,600 Speaker 1: after he had a car accident and became disabled. We 7 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: haven't had sex in almost two years now. We have 8 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: tried everything, but nothing has worked for us. I am suffering, 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: but I do not want to cheat on him. One night, 10 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,599 Speaker 1: we were watching a strange movie where a man in 11 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,600 Speaker 1: the movie did not want to have sex with his 12 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: wife anymore, so he paid a man to have sex 13 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,479 Speaker 1: with her and he would watch them. Well. Since I 14 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: saw that movie, I couldn't get this idea out of 15 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: my head. I searched online and found a group of 16 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: polyamorous in my city. They meet once twice a month 17 00:00:55,800 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: and it's free. Polyamory means loving more than one person, 18 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: but I only love my husband. I just want to 19 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: have sex with someone else, and this group is just 20 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: for that, as long as everyone knows about it and agrees. 21 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: I only want to fulfill my needs and have sex. 22 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: I have been honest with him about my interest in polyamory, 23 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: and I plan to give him some pamphlets on the 24 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: idea after I attend my first meeting. I am going 25 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: just to see what it's like. But of course I 26 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 1: would need his permission to participate insects with someone, and 27 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: I want him there with me. I haven't told my 28 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: husband that part yet, so I need to know if 29 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 1: I'm totally off base here and need to try another way, 30 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: or should I ask my husband if he would mind 31 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: if I went and got my needs met while he watched. Yes, 32 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: I would basically be asking my husband for permission to 33 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: have sex with another man in front of him. This 34 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: is very important and necessary. Please help, Okay, Um, speaking 35 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: of permission, I mean, how do we look? How do 36 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: we look giving you permission to say it's okay to 37 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: have sex and with another man in front of your husband? 38 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: I mean, that's way, way, way above our pay grade. Okay, 39 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: it really really is. Plus, I mean we don't we 40 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: don't even know your husband. I mean, is he freaky 41 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: like that that he would want to see something like that? 42 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, we don't know him, We have 43 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 1: no idea. You didn't give us a whole lot of 44 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 1: information to go on here. This that you guys had 45 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: a car accidentally, had a normal sex life before that, 46 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: and then he became a disabled So so what were 47 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: those conversations liked? I mean since since he became disabled. 48 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: You say you tried everything but nothing has worked and 49 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,919 Speaker 1: you don't want to cheat. Well, just because he would 50 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: watch if he agreed to this arrangement, that's still cheating. Sorry, 51 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 1: it's still cheating. This situation calls for a serious, serious 52 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: conversation before you even write us. It calls for a 53 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: serious conversation with your husband, not us. I mean, we 54 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: have no idea what his disability is. You didn't share 55 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: that with us, But you said you had a normal 56 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: sex life before that. So I just say, before you 57 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: start going to all these meetings and all this stuff, 58 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: you know, with these polyamorous and having open sex, you know, 59 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 1: while while your husband watches and all of this, I'm 60 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: sure there are people that do do this. You gotta 61 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: discuss this with your man. Okay, he should have been 62 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: the first person you talk to this about, not us. 63 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I know people feel like we're their best 64 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: friends and they connect with us and all of that, 65 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: and we do we're here for you. We are, but 66 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: not on this, not in this bedroom situation. I mean, really, 67 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: what do we look like saying yeah, go and have 68 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: sex with the man and let your husband watch. No, 69 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: figure that out with between you and your man. Talk 70 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: to your man about this. Come on, junior us. She 71 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 1: about to get ran over? Huh? I mean no, no, 72 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 1: the minute she kiss anybody hearing that wheel chip, it's 73 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 1: gonna right over. Prepare to be ran over. You've never 74 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: seen this minute tie track across your body. If you 75 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 1: think this is don't go away. Tell him. He will 76 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: dive act that chip to choke you. If you think 77 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna have sex for another man in front of him, 78 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: in front of what, what do you want us to say? Oh, 79 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 1: this is this is the Steve Harvey Morning Show. We 80 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: are not therapists. We don't do any of that. But 81 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 1: we do know this. We do know disabled people have feelings. Yeah, 82 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: and we will and they will act on them. You 83 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 1: cannot sit here and think we're gonna go along with 84 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: you to get along with somebody. The fact that you 85 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: caught him and said, hey, what do you think I 86 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,840 Speaker 1: want to have this little group? You in polyamorous? How 87 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: do you say it poly this little Swede group you in. 88 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: I'm talking about this for a show. Everybody. One thing 89 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: I know about people in will a chest. They are 90 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:28,279 Speaker 1: never loan, they have other friends. And this is not 91 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: the people you want to make upset because all of them, 92 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: all of the imans as a group, will run over you. 93 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: You ain't gonna believe you have big ties, little tasks. 94 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: You need to think about this. Yeah, I see your husband, 95 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: big ties, little tis, medium tied, little sideway ties, flat tie, 96 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 1: some inflated, but all of them gonna be across your 97 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: chest if you miss so with this man soon do 98 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,280 Speaker 1: you tell his friends which you play? Don't do it? 99 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,160 Speaker 1: They're gonna roll up ohe you. That's all I'm saying. 100 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,720 Speaker 1: This is not the time to say this to her. 101 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: And it's not like we don't feel for her. We do. 102 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: Because she hasn't have sex for two years. Hey hey, hey, 103 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: hey let him Liam leont try any faint but the 104 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: fact you're gonna have sex somebody else. We're gonna recap 105 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry letters subject that I need my husband's permission 106 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: to have sex. A woman in her late forties rode in. 107 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: She's married to a wonderful man. They had a very 108 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: normal sex life until he had a car accident and 109 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: became disabled. They haven't had sex in two years, so 110 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: she's suffering. She saw a movie with her husband where 111 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,840 Speaker 1: a man paid another man to come in and have 112 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: sex with his wife because he was tired of having 113 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: sex with her, and he just watched. So she wants 114 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: to know what do we think about her suggesting this 115 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: and bringing this up and joining this polyamorous group with 116 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: her husband. So she wants our She's asking us, is 117 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: it okay for her to ask her husband to allow 118 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: her to have sex with another man while he watches? 119 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 1: All right, Jay, let's go okay, okay, okay, con am 120 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: I gonna use the word right contrary? Did I just 121 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: use the right? Yeah, the popular con contrary to what 122 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: we believe. There are people out there who believe other things. 123 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 1: And if he has no problem with this, the only 124 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: way he's going to be able to be satisfied with 125 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: it he needs to be involved in what she's doing, 126 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: meaning he needs to get a megaphone. Places everybody here food, 127 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: were about to have my wife? Okay, let me get that, 128 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: let me get that, go get that going handle netting 129 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: all right, light slow, damn the lights need to be loved. 130 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: He directed it. No, all right, here we go, partner. 131 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: I needed there you go. Hey, hey, you're moving too slow. 132 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: Speed it up, buddy, speed it up, Speed it up, buddy. 133 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: All right, people need to be satisfied here. All right, 134 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm watching you. We got my eyes on you, like, 135 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: look at me, don't look at her, look at me, 136 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: look at me. All right. That's how you do it. 137 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: That's the only way you can do. That's getting him involved. 138 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: And I can roll all over the damn set calling 139 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 1: this wheels kids, so I can see what's happened. Are 140 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: you quite done? Are you quite now? Jay? I do 141 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: agree with you. Um there, there are a whole bunch 142 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: of freaky things going on out in the world. I 143 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: certainly and totally agree with you on that. It may 144 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: not we may not like it, but somebody else may. 145 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: She just needs to have that discussion with her husband. 146 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: That's not us. Yeah, we can't give us permission to 147 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: do that. Well again, all right, come on, nephew, I 148 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 1: need my husband's permission to have sex. What do you 149 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: say we got to get some sex in your life? 150 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 1: Real ask? Okay, he's disable, but you able, So we're 151 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,439 Speaker 1: gonna make sure we get you what you need. You 152 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,079 Speaker 1: need to start win the shopping now, pick start, pick 153 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: a piece. Start finding a piece that you're gonna like. 154 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: You pick a piece, you gotta pick. You gotta pickup piece. 155 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: Chick chicken, pick up piece, find something you like, pick 156 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,439 Speaker 1: two or three piece, and then we'll talk to husband 157 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 1: about that later. But at least start getting your stuff 158 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,839 Speaker 1: together on what you want. Here's what you're gonna have 159 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: to do. Keep running that movie over and over. It's 160 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: gonna help us. Okay, Then then run indecent proposal. Run that. 161 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: You got to run these movies so we can open 162 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,199 Speaker 1: up his mind for this. Okay, I didn't even know 163 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: they had a polyami real whatever that is. But I need, yes, 164 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: I need to find out where these meetings as I 165 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,199 Speaker 1: can get to this. I've watched a lot of people 166 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: have sex. I have. It's a beautiful thing. This is great. Yes, 167 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: he'll be fine. What Yes, I'm the only one to 168 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: watch people have sex a lot of you know, I've 169 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: listened to a lot of people have sex too. Man 170 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: at all y'all had never seen nobody else having sex. Huh, Okay, 171 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 1: that's off the subject. Get back to the letter. Okay, 172 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: so listen, listen, but listen. That's what you got to remember, 173 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: young lady, while you are in the middle of it. 174 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 1: You got to act like you don't really like it. Okay, 175 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,319 Speaker 1: you no hollering. You gotta holler inside, scream inside your 176 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: head like voice. I don't keep it in, keep it in. 177 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 1: Don't want him, You don't want him to hear that 178 00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: it's a good thing. So just like joy, Yes, dude, 179 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 1: never show that you enjoying it. Don't don't. Don't do 180 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 1: nothing out of the ordinary. Just scream inside, keep it in. 181 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 1: That's like a like a cow. That's what you're gonna 182 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: sound like when you're holding it in. But don't open 183 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: your mouth. Lips should be closed if they go open. 184 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: See sound too as like it's a good time. You understanding? 185 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: Join it too much? Start shopping now, pick a piece, 186 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 1: pick up piece. A variety is a spice of life. 187 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: Am I right or wrong? Ain't there what they say? 188 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: Where should she go? Well, if you're going on down 189 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,559 Speaker 1: and meeting them, all I say, I say, go to 190 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: the meeting and then come back and tell him how 191 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 1: the meeting was. Wow. That's what you say, dude, pick 192 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: a pick up, pick a piece, though, pick a piece 193 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: while you're at the meeting. I tell you what, though, 194 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: you better lock your brakes. Lock your brakes first, and 195 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 1: then raise hell. Don't raise hell for you locking braids. 196 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: I can't believe I'm the only one to watch people. 197 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 1: You are only one and Jay Wow, Sirlett Carling, y'all 198 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: ain't never see nobody else here? The thing you're learning 199 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 1: on the show, I'm really you mean in person seeing 200 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 1: another Yeah, like you're some about a movie or in 201 00:11:55,240 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: person you don't wait a minute, so I do not 202 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: my look at the time. All right, guys, email us 203 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: or instagram us your thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter at 204 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM, or you can check out the Strawberry 205 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve Harvey 206 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: Morning Show.