WEBVTT - Kekes's First Time!

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<v Speaker 1>These are the radio blogs on the Fred show.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like we're writing in our diaries, except we say

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<v Speaker 2>them a lot. We call them blogs.

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<v Speaker 1>Kiki.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>Go.

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<v Speaker 3>Dear blog.

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<v Speaker 4>When is the last time you guys did something for

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<v Speaker 4>the first time?

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<v Speaker 3>The other day.

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<v Speaker 1>You got many of those left, unfortunately.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, okay. You've done it all?

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<v Speaker 2>I know a thing or two about a thing or two.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been living on this world for a minute now.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, I'm glad you're living on this world.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm surprised. What is this first that you have?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you were actually there for it.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to go there.

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<v Speaker 1>We're going to go there.

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<v Speaker 4>OK, well, I actually attended my first ever Catholic mass.

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<v Speaker 4>The other day, as we were out paying our respects

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<v Speaker 4>to dear Mama Marta, and it was my first time

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<v Speaker 4>being at that time. And Caitlin is already laughing because

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<v Speaker 4>she had to sit next to me. She was the

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<v Speaker 4>chosen one to sit next to me. And she was

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<v Speaker 4>already going through her own thing with, you know, the

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<v Speaker 4>bathroom or whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought you were crying because... On the occasion, but

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<v Speaker 1>now I understand you were about to poop yourself again.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I clenched for Marta.

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<v Speaker 3>She was going through it.

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<v Speaker 4>And so as we were sitting there and I'm going

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<v Speaker 4>through the motions and I'm like, I want to make

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<v Speaker 4>sure I'm in line.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm in formation. Like, I don't want to miss a cue.

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<v Speaker 4>And I was just observing the room and I was like,

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<v Speaker 4>you know what? I, this isn't too bad.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, too bad.

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<v Speaker 3>I kneeled.

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<v Speaker 4>Um, I didn't think I would be able to fit

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<v Speaker 4>in the aisle. Caitlin was like, we don't have to kneel.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, yeah, girls, I can't get down there.

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<v Speaker 4>And then next thing I know, Jason on the other

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<v Speaker 4>side of me kneeling.

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<v Speaker 1>So I was like, if.

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<v Speaker 3>He gonna kneel, I gotta kneel.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't let your butt touch the pew. Cause my Nana,

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<v Speaker 2>I could hear her in, you know, from heaven yelling

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<v Speaker 2>at me going, Christopher, It was.

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<v Speaker 6>So funny because you were so nervous and I had

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<v Speaker 6>never I've never really seen that from you.

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<v Speaker 5>And you're like, I've never been.

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<v Speaker 6>And you did ask us, hey, you know, can I

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<v Speaker 6>just stroll on in whenever?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>And I was like, well, the Catholics don't really do

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<v Speaker 6>it like that. You might get some looks. And then

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<v Speaker 6>I was making up a few things that you didn't

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<v Speaker 6>actually have to do. like saying peace be with you

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<v Speaker 6>and giving a kiss to your neighbor. So that's why

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<v Speaker 6>I think you didn't believe me on the kneeling, but

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<v Speaker 6>the kneeling was true. And then you look at me

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<v Speaker 6>right before kneeling, you go, I can't fit. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 6>you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

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<v Speaker 6>And then down we go.

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<v Speaker 5>But it was, it was very funny to see that

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<v Speaker 5>through your eyes.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're a Catholic, you understand this.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't speak to any other language, but growing up

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<v Speaker 2>Catholic and my Nana making me go to church every

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<v Speaker 2>Sunday and doing the CCD and the whole thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Jason, of course, was the head altar boy, which surprises nobody.

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<v Speaker 2>But my Aunt Paula called me on Friday from South

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<v Speaker 2>America to ask how everything went and to send her

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<v Speaker 2>best wishes to you. And I said, you know, it's funny.

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<v Speaker 2>It was mostly in Polish, but as a Catholic, I

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<v Speaker 2>knew the script. I don't need it to be in English.

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<v Speaker 2>I know the routines. My dance card is set. I

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<v Speaker 2>know what we're doing, in what order. I know when

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<v Speaker 2>we're kneeling. I know when we're doing the Lord. It

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter what language.

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<v Speaker 5>The universal language.

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<v Speaker 2>We know in the 50 minutes that it will take,

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<v Speaker 2>minus his sermon that went a little longer.

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<v Speaker 1>Very much longer.

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<v Speaker 2>Because he was going back and forth in two different languages,

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<v Speaker 2>which was very impressive to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, he was.

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<v Speaker 5>He was also selling us books, but that's another conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>He was trying to sell a book in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of the thing. No doubt about that. He really did.

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<v Speaker 1>That was new.

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<v Speaker 3>He really did.

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<v Speaker 1>See, I was used to that. That was new.

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<v Speaker 4>In my church, we would have did a couple offerings,

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<v Speaker 4>and we would have sold some merch.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was in line with him on that.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I told him no merch.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, chill.

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<v Speaker 7>Chill, Mr.

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<v Speaker 1>Priest. I thought when he was selling his t-shirts, that

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<v Speaker 1>was strange. But hey, it's all for the Lord.

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<v Speaker 2>It was in Polish, but I'm like, oh, I know

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<v Speaker 2>what we're doing. It's the up-down, back-around, spin-around, peace be

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<v Speaker 2>with you. It doesn't matter. It's the same exact script.

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<v Speaker 2>And I got it down.

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<v Speaker 5>And then Paulina looks at Kiki and goes, get up

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<v Speaker 5>there for communion.

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<v Speaker 3>I was about to run up out of there. I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, I don't know what's going on.

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<v Speaker 4>And Jason is a goody two shoes, even in church,

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<v Speaker 4>because he was making the motions even before the man

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<v Speaker 4>said it. Like Jason knew to pull the little thing

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<v Speaker 4>down and kneel. And then Fred ran up there and

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<v Speaker 4>left all of.

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<v Speaker 1>Us in there.

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<v Speaker 6>You should have seen Kiki's face when I told her

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<v Speaker 6>everybody drinks out of the same cup and they just

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<v Speaker 6>wipe it.

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<v Speaker 5>She was like, the same cup.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you know what's interesting?

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't, and I'm not trying to be sacrilegious here,

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't know the answer, but there were people, non-Catholics,

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<v Speaker 2>around us, I won't say who they were, but when

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<v Speaker 2>it came time to accept communion... It was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't think a non-Catholic could take communion, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>Googled it, and under normal circumstances, non-Catholics are not permitted

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<v Speaker 2>to receive Holy Communion in the Catholic Church, except in

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<v Speaker 2>specific grave situations recognized by canon law.

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<v Speaker 1>So there were a few people up there just willy-nilly.

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<v Speaker 3>You said to go like this.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah, you do make the little X over your chest,

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<v Speaker 8>and then they just bless you.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, really? And they do a kiss. I didn't know

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<v Speaker 1>that part.

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<v Speaker 5>To some people.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I had to go to school for like 17

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<v Speaker 2>years in order to take communion.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, that's why I don't go up, because I was

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<v Speaker 6>baptized Catholic, but my mom gave me an option for communion.

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<v Speaker 5>I never did it, so I don't go up there.

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<v Speaker 6>But the priest told us, if you're not Catholic, come

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<v Speaker 6>on up for a blessing and go.

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<v Speaker 5>No and then we will.

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<v Speaker 1>Just oh did he say that i missed that yeah throw.

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<v Speaker 5>Your exes is that what you did.

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<v Speaker 4>Whatever caitlin did so i just stood there you took

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<v Speaker 4>communion i'm down no we sat down we sat down

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<v Speaker 4>oh ladies oh.

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<v Speaker 7>I feel like i feel well okay true but i

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<v Speaker 7>feel like if anything my mom's funeral the mass everything

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<v Speaker 7>about this has been so untraditional that i think you

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<v Speaker 7>guys taking a little bit of communion a little bit

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<v Speaker 7>away for it would have been just fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, yeah, because I was ready. I was ready. I

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<v Speaker 1>was prepared. My Nana was proud of me. I knew

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<v Speaker 1>what to do. I got the whole thing down because,

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<v Speaker 1>you know.

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<v Speaker 5>You drink out of the cup?

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<v Speaker 1>I did not drink. There was no. There wasn't a cup.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, they didn't do it?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't drink out of the cup.

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<v Speaker 4>No.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't do that.

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<v Speaker 3>I've never done that.

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<v Speaker 8>Did you walk up where you had your left hand

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<v Speaker 8>over your right hand?

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<v Speaker 2>I did.

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<v Speaker 6>Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>I did.

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<v Speaker 5>So much choreo.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, the people I see who is wild, and if

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<v Speaker 2>you're a Catholic, you know what I'm talking about. There

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<v Speaker 2>were a few of these people out here. The people

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<v Speaker 2>who just walk up and open their mouth and stick

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<v Speaker 2>out their tongue.

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<v Speaker 5>That's old school.

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<v Speaker 1>Which I know you can do.

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<v Speaker 2>I know you can do that. But I've never done that.

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<v Speaker 2>But they literally go, uh. And then a dude has

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<v Speaker 2>to stick. The host in the mouth. And I'm like, uh-uh.

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<v Speaker 2>I noticed a lot of people up there doing that.

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<v Speaker 5>So you don't drink the wine at your church? I've

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<v Speaker 5>never touched that wine.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even know where it is. But they bring it, right? No,

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<v Speaker 1>they didn't. They didn't for this thing.

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<v Speaker 2>He dipped his in the wine. Only he got the wine.

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<v Speaker 2>He dipped his in the wine.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, of course. But Jason, was it old home week

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<v Speaker 1>for you? Just brought you right back?

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<v Speaker 8>It's so crazy how it's like muscle memory.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 8>It's ingrained in us.

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<v Speaker 1>It's crazy. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>You shouldn't kneel with your knees, though. I think you

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<v Speaker 5>could sit it out next to me.

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<v Speaker 8>That's for the Lord, you know? It is.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right. He gave you that meniscus, and he'll take

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<v Speaker 1>it away. Yes, he will.