1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:02,280 Speaker 1: I feel like we just sat here for an hour, 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: we had like therapy right before we should just literally 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: start hitting a record. I've learned to practice a little 4 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 1: bit of restraint though, like you've gotten I started to 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: tell you my thing, you know, it's my brain moves 6 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,159 Speaker 1: and such like a at a pace that I'm I 7 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 1: get scared. If I don't say something now like to 8 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: say it, it won't even be the same thought. Of course, 9 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: I understand that we were talking about regret. I mean 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: we were talking about a lot of things. I haven't 11 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: been a weird place in my life, but that's that's 12 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: another podcast. I feel, um, but yeah, we the topic 13 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 1: this week. I put put on my Instagram that, um, 14 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,840 Speaker 1: there was some funny meme. I wish that I could 15 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: remember it at the moment. But it's basically like, I 16 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,560 Speaker 1: don't regret the number of men I've slept with, it's 17 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: the quality and like, who can't relate to that, right? 18 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: I mean, there is a couple I really wish that 19 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: I could take back. They must go hand in hand. 20 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: Though the more the more you do, the more likely 21 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 1: the qualities. The qualities low say that the more people 22 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,119 Speaker 1: have sex, because there's probably like most people are probably 23 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: bad at bed. Yeah, you know, if a lot of 24 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: people the qualities low. I don't even know if I 25 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: meant the quality of the actual person. Like what was that? 26 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:24,960 Speaker 1: Do we maybe it's time to get sober? Yeah, So 27 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 1: there were those moments and I posted that and then 28 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: I was like, what are you guys biggest sex and 29 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: dating regrets? And my inbox blew up. I'll fucking love 30 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 1: it when I unexpectedly post something and everyone's like, oh, 31 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: let me tell you a story. And so we got 32 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: a lot of those that we're going to get into today. 33 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: But okay, we were talking right before this and I 34 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,160 Speaker 1: asked you what is your biggest sex in dating regret? 35 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: And you were about to spill into that and you 36 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: held back for the listeners. Well, she kind of guessed 37 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: where my head initially went when I was thinking about 38 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: the other night, and which I've said, like I wish 39 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: I'd been sluttier, but like, that's not a real regret. 40 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: I actually love that though, but you can all I mean, 41 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: if I really wanted to be sluttier, I could just 42 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: go do it. So I mean I think that's more 43 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: of just like I haven't been sluttier because that's not 44 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 1: who I am. I kind of wish that I was that. 45 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: I feel like you'll try it though, and you would 46 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I mean it's I think there's a 47 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: reason why people feel empty sometimes when they're slutty. Um 48 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: mine I think is that I wasn't able to come 49 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: out younger and like really involved my family in my life. 50 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 1: Like I feel like they don't know that much about 51 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,239 Speaker 1: me as a result of me having to like hide 52 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: who I was. And I look at kids now that 53 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: are like going the problem with their like in gay 54 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: relationships or whatever, you know, sort of alternative relationships they're in, 55 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 1: and you know, I regret that I didn't have that courage. Granted, 56 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: I grew up in a different time when things were 57 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:56,800 Speaker 1: less socially accepted, and but um, it's like the truth 58 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: is is like people were call me faggot, you know 59 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it wasn't that like no one 60 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: was onto it. So if I just had the courage 61 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: to be like your words don't hurt me and like 62 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: lived my Plus, I grew up in a really small town, 63 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,079 Speaker 1: like let's face it, there was no other little gay 64 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 1: boy to go to problem with. But um, you know, 65 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: I wish that. And it's not even about like coming 66 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: out earlier. I wish that I'd had the courage just 67 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: to be honest with my family and um, been able 68 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,919 Speaker 1: to just like live and be me. And because now 69 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 1: it is, it's harder to go back and sort of 70 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: talk about those those painful things because it's certainly not 71 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: my parents fault, even though I could draw some blame 72 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: to them, Um, a lot of it's my fault. So 73 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: it's um those and you know, I don't I don't 74 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: harness like pain over it anymore because I have moved on, 75 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: but like I do kind of like looking back, Oh 76 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: my god, Like how different would my life be right now? 77 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: If you know, I just sort of like let me 78 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: be me. It's such a hard thing with regret, though, 79 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: because I'm sitting here listening to you and it's like, yeah, 80 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: but you obviously were on a journey for a certain reason, 81 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: and you couldn't do those things at that time because 82 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: you didn't have that skill set. Yet, like it just unfolds. 83 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: I do believe it unfolds for all of us the 84 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: way exactly it's supposed to. And as far as your 85 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: parents go, like everyone's doing the best they can time, 86 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: you know, and said they probably didn't know what to 87 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: do either, And so I just always like hearing other 88 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 1: people's stories, I'm like, oh, but you wouldn't have gone 89 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: through this too, then write, But when you look at 90 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,359 Speaker 1: your own story, you're like, I wish I wouldn't have 91 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: done that, or I wish I could take that back. 92 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: It just all seems to get us to the person 93 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: that we are now totally, I mean, which you know, 94 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: putting regret under a microscope makes it like this bullshit emotion, 95 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 1: but it's such a waste of energy and time, and 96 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,719 Speaker 1: like giving it any credence is like kind of silly, 97 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 1: because the truth is, if I really regretted all of 98 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 1: that stuff that much, I would lean into my parents 99 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: and like just being flavorantly who I am now. Um. 100 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: And maybe the reason why I'm like looking that as 101 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: a regret is because I'm still kind of doing that 102 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: same pattern. That's an interesting you know so um And 103 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 1: then you have to ask yourself like, well, then do 104 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 1: you actually really care? You know, like then, because it's 105 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 1: not like I have a bad relationship with my family. 106 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: I'm very close with my family. Maybe I'm just a 107 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 1: private person when it comes to next, and it's like 108 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: you have to look at it from a different angle. 109 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: So yeah, it's so interesting. I was like thinking back 110 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 1: through what my biggest sex and dating regrets were. One 111 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: would be a couple of people because I could just 112 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: take them off the list. Um, I think for me, 113 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: and I read some of this in the messages that 114 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: we'll get into in just a second. But like, uh, 115 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: selling myself short maybe or like, um, not knowing my 116 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: worth and relationships something I still struggle with. I mean 117 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,359 Speaker 1: we were talking about that earlier, but like I do 118 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 1: think that that's part of my journey, like I'm saying, 119 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 1: and to build up who I am supposed to be 120 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: and defined my voice. I don't think I could do 121 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: that if I didn't know that I didn't feel good 122 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,720 Speaker 1: when I did it the other way. Does that make 123 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 1: sense you? I mean you almost have to, Like, um, 124 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: it's how you build your armor, right, you know, you 125 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: need those things to test you well and that's how 126 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: you get to the next step of or the next 127 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: layer or whatever I have said on the podcast before, 128 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 1: Like I regret chooting on my first boyfriend and I 129 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: still do. I hate that. However, I've never cheated again, 130 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: so then I'm like, well, maybe what would have happened 131 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 1: if there are some benefits to regret? You know, it's 132 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: as long as like you use regret in a good 133 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 1: way to sort of change your worldview, then I think 134 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 1: there are benefits. Yeah, holding onto regret is like incredibly 135 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 1: stressful for your mind and body. So it's I can 136 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: hear whatever you're doing on the microphone right now, and 137 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure the list nurse can't. Sorry, it's not eating ice. 138 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: Chip gets messages all the time telling him to stop 139 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: eating ice. The funny things Chip does on a podcast, 140 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: goes through drawers, eats ice, takes some really long pauses 141 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: to think the silence I'm gonna do. We should do 142 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 1: one episode of me just thinking. Do you remember last week? 143 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think people are listening to listen 144 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: to silence just say adds in No, but yeah, so 145 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: where were you? I don't even what were we talking about? No? Um, 146 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: I think no, it's incredibly stressful to like hold on 147 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: to regret for your body. What is it they say 148 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,840 Speaker 1: that holding on to regret, like looking into the past 149 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: is where a depression hits. And then like if you 150 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,200 Speaker 1: look into the future with too much give that too 151 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: much merit. It's where anxiety comes from, because it's like 152 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: you can't do anything about the past. All you can 153 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: do is do something different next time. And the same 154 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: thing with the future. You can work toward a future, 155 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: but you can create the future exactly, you know, immediately. Yeah, God, 156 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: I need to stop trying. I mean, seriously, it's like 157 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: we we live in this world that's like pretty fucking spectacular, 158 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: and it's often like we don't even see it because 159 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: we're like dreaming too much or worrying too much. Right, 160 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: we don't know when the tornado is going to come 161 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: and crush us. This year has taught us nothing else. 162 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: I think it's that none of us are in control 163 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: and we just don't know what's about to happen. All right, 164 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: Let's get into some of these messages, because like a 165 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: lot of them made me laugh out loud, and a 166 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: lot of them were also really insightful, and I want 167 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: to get through all of them. Um, let's start with Kaylee. 168 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: Kayley says my biggest sex and dating regrets would be 169 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: the biggest one would have to be that I wasn't 170 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: in the right place mentally and didn't fully love myself 171 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: because getting involved with someone and being intimate period that 172 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: looking back, I don't necessarily regret being intimate and entering 173 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: into the relationship because it got me to where I 174 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 1: am today. But I did said and felt things that 175 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 1: I'm not proud of. I would hate for one of 176 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 1: my past partners to think of me as that way immature, 177 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: clinging jealous, because I was battling my own demons and 178 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: it had nothing to do with them. Love yourself and 179 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: get your mind right first. I think she meant before 180 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,839 Speaker 1: and not because myself, before getting involved in someone. You're 181 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: exactly right. I mean, look, I think that's um. I 182 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: don't think that's anything to regret. I think that is 183 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 1: like a really nice lesson learned. It's it's really hard 184 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 1: to love somebody else unless you love yourself well. And 185 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: even the parts about the immature clingy jealous, like I 186 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: know when I'm ever feeling that insecurity in a relationship, 187 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: it could be a lot of times the dynamic. But 188 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 1: like I have to ask myself, what is this hitting 189 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 1: for me? Like what is the message that it's giving 190 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 1: to me? What's the old message from you know, being 191 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: cheated on or whatever it is? Like, I love that 192 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: she pointed out, like I was battling my own demon. Right, Um, 193 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: Jamie says, hey, not giving anal a shot sooner? And 194 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: how was I thirty eight years old before I knew 195 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: a woman could orgasm from her cervix being gently bumped 196 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: into Jamie, go girl tried anal. We also need to 197 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: stop talking about it and actually do it. We had 198 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: a really good idea last week. I can't. I forgot 199 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: what it was like to listen back. It's probably Camio. 200 00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,719 Speaker 1: Now it was a T shirt. Literally, don't even want 201 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: to do it, and now I just want to give 202 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 1: you shit about it every week because you never do it. 203 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: Was like it was I said it was something we 204 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,599 Speaker 1: should trademark. It was like, what the something? Fuck? What 205 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: the literal funk? No, it wasn't. We'll have to go 206 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 1: listen back to ourselves. Um, somebody's already made the shirt. 207 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 1: This one's from Brittany, she says, not being brave enough 208 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 1: to tell them they had to use protection. I'm stuck 209 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 1: with lifelong consequences because of it. Now, that is that, 210 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I get that, and that's good advice. People 211 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: be safe, because that's something she has to think about 212 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: every time you know, like there's a constant reminder of that. 213 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: That's a that's one where where how do you let 214 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: go of the regret around that and like beating yourself up? 215 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I mean, look, it's because 216 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: it was a choice that was made. It's harder to 217 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 1: sort of you know, like if you want to compare 218 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: it to any other sort of medical thing that's beyond 219 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 1: your control. It's like, you can't regret getting cancer or 220 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: I mean, unless you smoked cigarettes and you get lung 221 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 1: cancer and it's something that you brought on. But yeah, 222 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: I mean that's that's a tough one, super tough. I 223 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 1: mean I do like that. She um, well, even admit 224 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: that and like and look at it because it could 225 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 1: help other people. To me, that would be the only 226 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: way I could get over the regret of it, is 227 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: like how do I help others not have to go 228 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: through this? Um? This one's from Jin. She said, I 229 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 1: had a one night stand with a minor league baseball 230 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: player that I met in a hotel bar. I was drunk, 231 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 1: had my period, He didn't care. We had sex, and 232 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: I left. I don't even remember his name. I can't 233 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: even believe I did that. As I'm typing this. Thank 234 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: god I didn't leave pregnant or with an STD. I 235 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 1: was and still am totally mortified. Never told anyone that. 236 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: But I'm telling a complete stranger that I adore from Instagram. 237 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,839 Speaker 1: I love it. She had a little flooty night. I 238 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,560 Speaker 1: wrote her back and I said, I did that with 239 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 1: one from the major's if it makes you feel bad, 240 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: those are some of the times that I'm like, Okay, 241 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 1: I think I think that's I think that is something. 242 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: To um, I don't think that's something. It's a funny 243 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: story story. I have some stories that I will probably 244 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 1: never tell you guys. Um, she said, she goes kind 245 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,079 Speaker 1: of does. Actually, I would have rather have been in 246 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: the majors. If you're gonna go jin, you gotta go big. 247 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,200 Speaker 1: Would have at least made me feel like I accomplished something. Oh, 248 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,680 Speaker 1: I remember telling him that he had This is the 249 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: part that I could not get over, she said. Oh, 250 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: and I vaguely remember him telling me that he had 251 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: a pregnant girlfriend at home. That was after we had sex. 252 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 1: What a fucking scumback. That's the thing. It's like, I 253 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: had this situation. I'll just tell the story. I could 254 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 1: delete it. Later if I want to. So I was. 255 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: I was working. This is when I first moves to Nashville. 256 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: I was working at this modeling and acting school and 257 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: this my boss was dating or hooking up with this 258 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: guy who played for the San Diego Patre. Oh my god, 259 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: giving so many details. So anyway, we randomly. She was like, 260 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: we're literally working. We're at the office. It's like we 261 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,040 Speaker 1: worked till like eight every night. It was these weird hours. 262 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 1: And she says, she literally d MS me from our 263 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 1: computers and she says, she said, what are you doing tonight? 264 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: And I was like nothing, you want to go grabaging? 265 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: And she was like, you want to go to Houston? 266 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: I was like do what? And she goes, go home 267 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 1: right now, change and meet me at the airport in 268 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 1: an hour. And so I did, and we flew to Houston. 269 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: We um got yeah, got to Houston. After they had 270 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: finished their game. We went out, got hammered. I met 271 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: one of his friends, totally had a one night stands. 272 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: But it was I mean, it was fun in the like, 273 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't believe I did this kind 274 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: of thing, and like I also like he called for 275 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 1: a while after, but it was like we both I 276 00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: think we're like, what are we? This is not a 277 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: barely even know you. Like. Also, the unfortunate part about 278 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 1: these players that I didn't really understand at the time 279 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: was like I think he had a girlfriend. Like I 280 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: didn't even think to asked. He was like he was 281 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 1: a player, yeah and so like and probably like had 282 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: a girl in every town, which that was like my 283 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 1: first experience with that. Like I was super young when 284 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: this happened. I was like twenty something early twenties, um, 285 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: and so yeah, Like I literally remember being like, oh 286 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: my god, these guys like chase after women and they 287 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: already have a girlfriend or a wife or whatever. Like 288 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: I didn't get that. I was so naive. So wait, 289 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: did your boss know that you slept with she's like prostituting. Hey, 290 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna bring a hot girl for your friend. Completely did, 291 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: Like I didn't even know, Like that was kind of 292 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: bonus for that. Well now I can't even talk. I'm like, 293 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 1: I mean, needless to say, she's not in my life 294 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: anymore either, but like she completely pimped me out. I 295 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: didn't even understand that was like it was such an 296 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: eye opening, like little girl from Louisiana, so like, come 297 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: to the town, come to the big town, get on 298 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: a plane and wow, I mean all they did was 299 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 1: me too much tequila and god, now you're an easy target, 300 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: such an easy target. Oh my god, lesson learned. This 301 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 1: is why I'm such a hardcore bit Okay. This one 302 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 1: says from Laura, not being vocal about what I needed. 303 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 1: Let them just enjoy themselves while I wasn't so much. 304 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: Big one, big one for women, and I think it's 305 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: really hard. I feel I feel like John row I 306 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: gave us some good thoughts on that. Though from a 307 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 1: guy's perspective, you know, they like that. Guys would want 308 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: to know, but we're yeah, we're not doing anyone any favors. 309 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: Um this one says. This one's from Amanda. She says 310 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: staying with the wrong person for far too long and 311 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 1: settling into that life thoughts on that chip Um, you know, 312 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: I think it plays into like not saying what you want. 313 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 1: It's such an interesting thing, like and I'm guilty of 314 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 1: it too. It's like, if you're so scared that what 315 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,800 Speaker 1: you say is going that what you want, by saying 316 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: what you want is going to end the relationship that 317 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 1: you're not happy in, right what the funk are you 318 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: scared of? Right? It's like such a mind fun but 319 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:11,399 Speaker 1: it's something about the actual break of being in a 320 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 1: relationship to going to being alone can be very difficult. 321 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,919 Speaker 1: I know it is for me, and like that also, 322 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:21,360 Speaker 1: like not wanting to look back with regret or like 323 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: the thought of leaving and being like, but what if 324 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: I look back later and I can't you know, it's 325 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 1: like or what if I don't find anyone else? Just 326 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,640 Speaker 1: all the stories we make up in our head. Yeah, 327 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: those conversations that you have that like you really need 328 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 1: to have and in your mind you're like nailing it, 329 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 1: but then you're like, but what if they say this? 330 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: What if they say that? And then you never get 331 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: around to the fucking conversation. It is really crazy, Like 332 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: how little we we all seem to value our own 333 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 1: happiness or how much we convince ourselves that we're happy enough. 334 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 1: That's the big one. I mean, this is she says 335 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: to me, I go, are this one is so tough? 336 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: And she wrote back to me and said, your podcast 337 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 1: always reminds me to stay true to myself and not 338 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: settle for anything. I don't want thank you, but I 339 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,199 Speaker 1: would saying to you. I'll just be completely honest about this. 340 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: I get a lot of messages like this from you guys, 341 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful that that is what I'm communicating. 342 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 1: But then I feel like a like a hypocrite in 343 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 1: some ways because I'm like, am I doing that for 344 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 1: myself all the time? You know? I think sometimes I'm 345 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: like this super empowered, like get what you want, chase 346 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,680 Speaker 1: after what you want, and then sometimes I get stuck 347 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: myself in comfort in like living in fear of letting 348 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,920 Speaker 1: go of things or accepting things that aren't good for 349 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 1: me or whatever. It is, like we just fall into 350 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 1: these habits and these patterns and it's hard. Well it's 351 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: also hard to like I mean, in our friend group, 352 00:18:42,359 --> 00:18:46,919 Speaker 1: we share things, and it's when you get opinions that 353 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 1: aren't yours and then you weigh them and they're in 354 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: the back of your mind. Sometimes they are like making 355 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,359 Speaker 1: you question what you want. I don't even don't you 356 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:01,120 Speaker 1: know what I see clearly sometimes because I over overshare, 357 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 1: like I just did on the spot. I just tell 358 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,879 Speaker 1: I just like I don't know how not to just 359 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: tell the truth. Like it's like this to me, that's 360 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: the definition of being happy is being able just to 361 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: like live your truth and but then you have to 362 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 1: let go opinion. Right, Being happy doesn't mean that you 363 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: don't have a good cry every now and then, because 364 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: that can be really cathartic. But I think a lot 365 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,199 Speaker 1: of people are scared of those moments of sadness. But 366 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:32,200 Speaker 1: being sad doesn't mean that you're not happy your core, right. 367 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 1: I think actually being sad and being able to cry 368 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,159 Speaker 1: like humanizes us. Yeah, I mean, I can't remember the 369 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: last time I had a really good cry. I can 370 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 1: yesterday when you out here, I was like, I cried 371 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: for like four The carpet is still wet. It's a 372 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 1: wop up in here. But not for the right reason. 373 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 1: It's different definition because it's just like the bitch that 374 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 1: cries all the time love pussy um, not her actual pussy. Like, yeah, 375 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 1: just kidding. I think crying is very healthy. But yeah, 376 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 1: I mean, it's like I think everyone when I read 377 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 1: this message, what I had to say to myself because 378 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 1: she said, you know, like thank you for always saying 379 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,880 Speaker 1: true to yourself and not settling and blah blah blah 380 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: blah blah, And I think back to so many points 381 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,680 Speaker 1: in my life that I can look back and I'm like, 382 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: why the fund did I not leave that relationship? Or like, 383 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: why did I not trust my gut when I knew 384 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,919 Speaker 1: there was something going on with my ex, you know, 385 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: like whatever it is. But it's just like what we 386 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: were saying earlier, there's really no point to regret that 387 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 1: stuff because it just gets you to the next thing. 388 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: Like it's like I wouldn't have known how not to 389 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: do something unless I had done it and it felt 390 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 1: like shit. And so I think it's just like allowing 391 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 1: ourselves to be human almost and to like not have 392 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,679 Speaker 1: it all figured out and to go this is a 393 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,480 Speaker 1: part of my journey. And yeah, would have done that 394 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,679 Speaker 1: one a little too. Look, they can inform the choices 395 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,359 Speaker 1: that you make in the future, and I think that's 396 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: the important side of regret. Yeah, that's true. Um, okay, 397 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: this one, love you guys so much. No, this is 398 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 1: not the one. I'm about to find that one in 399 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 1: a second. Um, this one's from I can't see her 400 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 1: first name, so we'll just call her Susan. Adding to 401 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: my body count for a dude. But junk the size 402 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,719 Speaker 1: of a tube of chapstick. He was nice. I just 403 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 1: felt bad walking out after the dates and him trying 404 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: so hard, it was such a disappointment. O god, oh man. Um. Yeah, 405 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,879 Speaker 1: this is another one from Michelle. She said sex not 406 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,640 Speaker 1: knowing how to ask for what I wanted and needed. 407 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: When I was in my twenties, I trusted my partner 408 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,160 Speaker 1: boy for no husband, but I still didn't feel comfortable 409 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,040 Speaker 1: speaking up. Now I don't have a problem with that. 410 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: At forty one, the sex is now rocking. Al right. 411 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 1: I love that one. This girl says the ones I 412 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: didn't sleep with. It's like you, you you like want to 413 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,919 Speaker 1: be a sled Are you going to have a moment 414 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: like do we have a plan for you with this? 415 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 1: How do we how do we ship? How do you 416 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:20,640 Speaker 1: have a your shirt stoza? I mean what would your 417 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 1: what would your strategy be? Well, I mean we need 418 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 1: we would need bars to be open. Again, they're starting. 419 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 1: Is that all that's holding you back? Because I feel 420 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 1: like they're starting to want to go in. I just 421 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,360 Speaker 1: don't think you're got to give that peloton first. Oh god, 422 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,679 Speaker 1: we get all peloton addicted, and I'm all everybody in 423 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: town watch out, watch are you ever going to get 424 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: the peloton? Oh my god? It giving them more ads 425 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, I'm supposed to get my pedal bike. 426 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,359 Speaker 1: It's like a petal tavern like um Peloton. If you 427 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 1: want to sponsors, bring it on because I will talk 428 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:07,679 Speaker 1: about it every day. Yeah, it's supposed to come on 429 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 1: the fifth October. Yes, okay, so what are we were 430 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 1: going to set a date for your sledttiness? Like, do 431 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: you feel like November five? Do we need a money? 432 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 1: I think I think we need. It needs to be 433 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: like summer summer, everyone marketing their calendars, the how down 434 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: sled a Palooza, chip doors coming at you, maybe slot 435 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,119 Speaker 1: into if you want to reserve. We really do need 436 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: to say, um okay, I hope that you don't have 437 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,679 Speaker 1: a moment like this during sledter Paluza. This one is 438 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,879 Speaker 1: from I think it's at Brittany. She's actually like a 439 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 1: super hot girl, so like this story is even better. 440 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 1: But she says I dislocated my jaws sucking a one 441 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: night stands dick, which cost me five dollars to fix. 442 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,400 Speaker 1: She I wrote back like I could not. I've read 443 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 1: this message like five times. I was laughing so hard 444 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 1: and I was so so grateful that she chose to 445 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:13,160 Speaker 1: share that with us. Succinctly. It's written, She's just like 446 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 1: one night stands dick, Yeah, which costs five to fix, 447 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: dislocated your job. I mean she was like really good, 448 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: I mean god, or it was just lug. I mean 449 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 1: maybe I'm just so I wish that I would have 450 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,879 Speaker 1: asked her, how do you think that happened? Was it 451 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:35,440 Speaker 1: like the actual sucking, because that is probably jammed his 452 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,719 Speaker 1: jammed her face against his body and some wow. So anyway, 453 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: I wrote, I'm honestly dying. That is dedication, and she 454 00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: said it gets better. I didn't know I did it, 455 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 1: and I went to the I don't know this part. 456 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,280 Speaker 1: I didn't know I did it. And I went to 457 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,880 Speaker 1: the dentist thinking it was my wisdom teeth, which I've 458 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 1: been going to him since I was a kid, and 459 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: my whole family goes to him and he says, have 460 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 1: you had any trauma to your mouth? And I lie 461 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: and I say no, And I tell one of my 462 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 1: girlfriends who's a dental hygienus, and she says, well, we 463 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,879 Speaker 1: can tell if you've sucked a dick because with the 464 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 1: brooding and the bruising in the back of your mouth. 465 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,919 Speaker 1: So she's straight up lies to her family. Dentist who 466 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: were whole entire family goes to She's like, no, I 467 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 1: haven't had any trauma, and he's like looking in the 468 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:30,399 Speaker 1: back of her throat, like lie dislocated. The dentist could 469 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,199 Speaker 1: see that. That's if you guys, don't walk away from 470 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 1: this podcast learning anything else. I feel. Don't suck dick 471 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 1: before the dentist, before you're you know, yearly check up. 472 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:46,679 Speaker 1: Make sure you like lay off the dick. Oh my god. Ah, 473 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: this one says, thinking that bad sex was going to 474 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 1: change into good sex, this one's good Kelsey. She says, ha, 475 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 1: ha going. My biggest regret is going down on a 476 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,880 Speaker 1: guy with a cinnamon altoid in my mouth. He started screaming. 477 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 1: Hell he he is the one that came up with 478 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: the idea, but we haven't spoken since. Her biggest dating 479 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 1: regrets are ignoring the first signs that he may be 480 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 1: extremely toxic, guilty, same girls, same settling, and not spending 481 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,120 Speaker 1: more time being single and alone. You know that goes 482 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,119 Speaker 1: into such the programming that we talked about for women, 483 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,240 Speaker 1: like there is something very difficult with for a lot 484 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: of women. I think we have to really work and 485 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: being satisfied, being alone because we're taught from such a 486 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: young age that like we need to be in a relationship. 487 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 1: Like you said, you don't deal with that at all, right, 488 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: yeah jealous. Oh we have another minor league baseball player story. 489 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: This is from Datan She obviously I bet the minor 490 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: league ones even almost more. I don't know. They're on 491 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:02,000 Speaker 1: the road so much. Biggest dating regret dating a minor 492 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:05,199 Speaker 1: turn professional league baseball player for five years. Get this. 493 00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,640 Speaker 1: The worst part is not that he made a baby 494 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:12,880 Speaker 1: during a two month relationship break athletes. Uh. I would 495 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 1: like to add that after I found out that said 496 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 1: baby was made, I was blessed with a phone call 497 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 1: from Winter league ball. We did not last another month. 498 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,919 Speaker 1: Love conquers all. So basically he just called her to 499 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: be like, hey, I got another girl pregnant, dick, Oh 500 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 1: this is good. I wonder if this is how um 501 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: your excess feel from high school, the ones that you 502 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:43,880 Speaker 1: dated it at outback steakhouse that was in college. Excuse me, 503 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,159 Speaker 1: bloom an onion. Um Natalie says, I hooked up with 504 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,479 Speaker 1: a guy in college. I ran around chasing him, wondering 505 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 1: why he did not like me. Turns out he bought 506 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:55,880 Speaker 1: it for the other team and came out after calling. 507 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure there's so many of those stores 508 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 1: it Oh my gosh. I know some of these are 509 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: like not terrible regrets like it sounds. They sound like 510 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,920 Speaker 1: things that people have been able to move past. I mean, 511 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: if I had to pick the biggest regret, I would 512 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:17,680 Speaker 1: say just looking only because of financial repercussions and the 513 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 1: embarrassment of your family dinners seeing the bruises, right right, 514 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: But she seems like she can laugh about it now, 515 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,920 Speaker 1: and I'm sure she's a lot more careful, or she's 516 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 1: got a party trick where she can like drop her jaw, 517 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 1: or she's terrible to him today, Like I mean, poor girl. 518 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,800 Speaker 1: This that's a really big one. And I feel very 519 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,200 Speaker 1: grateful to her for sharing. I mean, I could go 520 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 1: on and on. There's so many messages. The biggest thing 521 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,920 Speaker 1: that I'm seeing from a lot of the women is 522 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 1: like staying in a relationship too long or not not 523 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: speaking up about sex. So I just I mean again, 524 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: it's like, at the end of this, there's really no 525 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 1: point in regret. But like, what can we all learn? 526 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 1: Let's stop being ourself up. I found this article in 527 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 1: Forbes um it's called twelve healthy in Productive ways to 528 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 1: deal with personal or professional regret, and they say they're like, 529 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: mistakes are a part of life, so you can try 530 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: to put a positive spin on it by saying like, oh, 531 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: it was a learning opportunity. But let's face it, there's 532 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 1: gonna be times where you mess up in a big way, 533 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 1: and depending on the results, you may deeply regret your 534 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 1: course of action. It's okay to feel remorse and sadness 535 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 1: with when a personal or professional decision has a negative outcome. However, 536 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: it's important to channel those feelings and use them to 537 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 1: grow in the future. I mean, if Forbes tells me 538 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 1: what to do, I'm probably gonna do it. So let's 539 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:35,840 Speaker 1: start here. One. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness, Okay, forgiveness is a 540 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,120 Speaker 1: letting go of the of the hope for a better past. 541 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 1: Forgive I just pursed. Oh god, you're talking about me 542 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 1: playing with the cord. You're ever belching in the microphone. 543 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 1: Belching is strong and I did it just like bubbled 544 00:29:54,960 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 1: up because I didn't swallow. Oh, this is why we 545 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 1: shouldn't do these in the morning. Forgive that earlier version 546 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: of yourself who made choices or decisions based on what 547 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 1: you had at the time. This is what I was 548 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 1: saying to you. You did the best with what the 549 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 1: skills that you had at the time, Like your parents 550 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 1: did the best they had they could with the information 551 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,680 Speaker 1: they had at the time. Right, let go of changing 552 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 1: the past instead learn from your past. Then you can 553 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 1: help someone else going through a similar situation. God, we 554 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 1: are so in line with four. I mean I saw 555 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 1: something that said, like, you regret demonstrates that you care. Oh, 556 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: sort of plays into that thing, like otherwise you just 557 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 1: move on. That's true, and you think you're infallible, you know, 558 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 1: it's like also you're probably associated, right, Like if you 559 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,000 Speaker 1: don't have regrets in your life, what you're scared to 560 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: stay the funk away from me. Don't let the regrets 561 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,240 Speaker 1: control you know. But if you can't look back and 562 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I wish I would have done that different, 563 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 1: or like if you are in your forties, let's say, 564 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 1: and you're like looking back at your twenties and there's 565 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 1: nothing you would do different. Either you had a super 566 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:09,240 Speaker 1: like super boring life and like trying to figure it 567 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 1: out stage or your sociopath. Yeah, but like even if 568 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,719 Speaker 1: you had a super boring life, like you can ever 569 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,960 Speaker 1: regret like I wish I wasn't so fucking boring. I 570 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 1: wish I was SI. You know what I before we 571 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 1: finish with your Forbes list, like, I wonder how many 572 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: regrets started off all nights, like like we're all out, 573 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,240 Speaker 1: We're like, no regrets all and then it's like you're 574 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 1: fucking a minor league baseball player and twenty years later 575 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: you're like, well, I my period and he had a 576 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: pregnant girlfriend at home. Another deal, I mean, regret the 577 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:44,840 Speaker 1: girl besttag, I got a pillow and everything. You have 578 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: a fucking mug that says hashtag regrets. You know that's 579 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:52,720 Speaker 1: what you started to God, our merch merch we talked 580 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 1: about is so fantastic. We really talk a big merch game, 581 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,680 Speaker 1: and we never followed through with it. To of your loss, 582 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: regret often involves a loss of what could have been. 583 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 1: It's ambiguous grief, yet still grief. To move past regret, 584 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,960 Speaker 1: you must grieve the loss and truly let it go. God. 585 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,239 Speaker 1: That's why I cried for like four hours yesterday. By 586 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,960 Speaker 1: the way, it's just like grieving the loss, even though 587 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:19,520 Speaker 1: like stuff can be good ultimately or you can know, like, Okay, 588 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 1: I just wasn't on the right path. The grief around 589 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: change is insane, you know, or like or for me, 590 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,520 Speaker 1: it's like looking back, going God, I wish I would 591 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,480 Speaker 1: have never even done that, Like my life was so 592 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 1: good before, you know, Like it's just like trying to 593 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: when you take risk and they don't pan out and 594 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 1: there's just grief. I think that's right. This one says, 595 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: take the serenity prayer to heart. Do you know the 596 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 1: serenity prayer? Yeah? About the things you can't change, God, 597 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 1: grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 598 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: the courage to change the things that I can, and 599 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,760 Speaker 1: the wisdom to know the difference. Like, you can't go 600 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: back and do things different. You've said that, So how 601 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 1: do you change the things in the future? Change the 602 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 1: meaning of your failure. In our professional lives, we often 603 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 1: regret decisions we made that results and failure. We can 604 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 1: easily lament and beat ourselves up over this continuously. Remember 605 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 1: we attach meanings to our experiences. It's up to you 606 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: to change the meaning of that failure you have. You 607 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: can have it mean anything you want. Only focus on 608 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 1: the new positive meaning interesting, which is funny because a 609 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,120 Speaker 1: lot of people say that the way to grow in 610 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 1: business in particular is to fail. Well, Bobby wrote a 611 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,320 Speaker 1: whole book called fail and so you don't like and 612 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:28,719 Speaker 1: every single super successful person that you know hasn't. And 613 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: we talked about we talked about the Kardashians a couple 614 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,800 Speaker 1: of weeks ago and all of the businesses. I mean, 615 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 1: you were not as up to date on their businesses 616 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:38,440 Speaker 1: as me. You thought it was still open, it didn't. 617 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 1: So do we look at that as a fail your 618 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 1: fun No, we're looking at lucky. The clothing store didn't 619 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,760 Speaker 1: work exactly because then they launched like KKW Beauty and 620 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 1: Kylie has her lip kit. It's like, you know, our 621 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 1: skims or whatever the funk. It's like they're onto a 622 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:57,240 Speaker 1: much more successful things. Do you think they regret dash No, Like, God, 623 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:04,640 Speaker 1: we were working in a retail. You're so not Kardashian savvy. 624 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 1: It's so annoying to me. Uh, use a growth mindset 625 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,640 Speaker 1: when you know better, do better, that's my angel, quitte Um, 626 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: understand the violation you made against your standards, Damn Forbes. 627 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 1: Feelings like regret are guilt, and guilt are very clever 628 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,960 Speaker 1: emotions that tell you the decision you just made is 629 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: out of whack with the true you. By accepting job 630 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,399 Speaker 1: A over Job B, you somehow violated one of your 631 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,960 Speaker 1: own rules or standards. You broke. It's you broke integrity 632 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 1: with yourself. Fuck, this is deep. Yes, the first step 633 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,239 Speaker 1: is to reflect and figure out how. Then you must 634 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,960 Speaker 1: decide how you will make things right and how to 635 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 1: avoid doing this again. I will say, one of the 636 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: biggest regrets I have in my life, and this still 637 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: to this day, is my truth is abandoning myself for 638 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:58,120 Speaker 1: other people, for other situations. And that's to me what 639 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 1: I read there is it's a violation of my own standards. 640 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,840 Speaker 1: Like I'm so out of touch with my own standards 641 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:09,600 Speaker 1: or needs or desires or values that I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 642 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,360 Speaker 1: And then you can look back later and see the 643 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,439 Speaker 1: pain that comes after that because it always explodes. Right 644 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,960 Speaker 1: if there's so much outside influence too that like says 645 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,640 Speaker 1: this is what you need to be doing. Oh yeah, exactly, 646 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,399 Speaker 1: this one says, let regret motivate you. That's good. That's 647 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,760 Speaker 1: how we were talking about. Just like, focus on the change, 648 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,880 Speaker 1: refrain the situation with an if then statement regret can 649 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 1: be an opportunity to learn an important lesson about yourself. 650 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,239 Speaker 1: The first step is to accept if you don't let 651 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 1: it define you. Then reframe your thoughts in if then construction, 652 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 1: such as, if I had gotten married, then I wouldn't 653 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: have pushed myself so hard to start my own successful business. 654 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,359 Speaker 1: I always say, if I had gotten married, I would 655 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,680 Speaker 1: have gotten divorced. At least I didn't get divorced. I 656 00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: guess I don't know. Um This one says, I didn't 657 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,960 Speaker 1: find the emotion behind your regret. Regret is self defeating 658 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,439 Speaker 1: and drains emotional and physical energy. Weren't you talking about 659 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,400 Speaker 1: this the toll it takes on your body. Take a 660 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,320 Speaker 1: moment to check in with yourself. Excess the emotion behind 661 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,879 Speaker 1: the regret. Are you disappointed, angry or grief stricken? Ask 662 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 1: yourself why you are having this reaction, what you could 663 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:23,000 Speaker 1: have done differently? Acknowledge the loss, Be intentional about how 664 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 1: you would approach a similar situation next time. Then move 665 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:30,960 Speaker 1: on and let it go. You're doing that silent. I'm 666 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,200 Speaker 1: I'm looking at some quotes that I think are pretty 667 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,799 Speaker 1: remarkable about regret. Um This one says, apologize and make 668 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,239 Speaker 1: an action to make the plan to change love that, 669 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 1: share it so others can learn from it. And the 670 00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:46,279 Speaker 1: last one says, acknowledge it and move forward. Yeah, you're 671 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,600 Speaker 1: just too darn hard on yourself. You messed up, you 672 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,880 Speaker 1: had a misstep, or things were terribly wrong, but this 673 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 1: is not the end of the world. Learn something from 674 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,520 Speaker 1: what happened and keep it moving. Don't give any more 675 00:36:55,520 --> 00:37:02,520 Speaker 1: blow jobs and dislocate your jaw, right, Yeah, keep it 676 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,400 Speaker 1: out your mouth. Well that's why what I said. You 677 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 1: took it too far, so you went to the opposite 678 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:12,640 Speaker 1: extreme where you're like, don't do it ever again. I say, 679 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:18,000 Speaker 1: give blow jobs safely, give the right blow job. Give. Yeah, 680 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,439 Speaker 1: maybe that's you know, maybe it's a challenge to work 681 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,640 Speaker 1: on your technique. Maybe it's a challenge to not be 682 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,120 Speaker 1: so sloppy drunk. I'm assuming that was part of that. 683 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: I don't know, or it's just like you know, it 684 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,799 Speaker 1: was the result of her not saying what she Maybe 685 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,399 Speaker 1: he was like doing it too rough and she didn't 686 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,160 Speaker 1: want to say stop. I'm just so fascinated here. Hopefully 687 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,600 Speaker 1: she's gonna Yeah, maybe I'll message her and try to 688 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:43,399 Speaker 1: get some more details for us. All I mean, all 689 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 1: that I'm most mostly walking away with from regret, and 690 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,640 Speaker 1: we have we're working on this in both of our lives. 691 00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:53,280 Speaker 1: It's just not really like getting down on ourselves looking 692 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,840 Speaker 1: back to see something, but then also looking forward and 693 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,799 Speaker 1: how you can do it differently, not beating yourself just 694 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,560 Speaker 1: where that you can't change the past. I think any 695 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 1: time that like we hear ourselves like saying negative things 696 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 1: about ourselves, we have to like take the action to 697 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: stop that. Yes, um, and just have gratitude for the 698 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 1: mistakes that we've learned from. Yeah, I love that. The 699 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,320 Speaker 1: last thing I want to do is read this message 700 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,239 Speaker 1: from Abby. Abby wrote in a couple of weeks ago, 701 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,560 Speaker 1: and her boyfriend was cheating on her. We answered this question. 702 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: She was like, how do I do I need to? Like, 703 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,239 Speaker 1: he wants to get back together, but he's cheated on 704 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,359 Speaker 1: her multiple times that they had been together six years, 705 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 1: and you and I were both like, not looking good 706 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,279 Speaker 1: for you, Abby. You know whatever, So she writes back 707 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 1: today she says, Hi, Kelly Queen, I took your advice 708 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,279 Speaker 1: a few months ago, and I think I have officially 709 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,520 Speaker 1: moved on today. I've gained more power back and I'm 710 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,600 Speaker 1: in charge of my own life again and I'm happier. 711 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,799 Speaker 1: I gained more self esteem and love for myself. I 712 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,640 Speaker 1: don't hold any resentment or any hateful thoughts about my ex. 713 00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 1: I have just I have more hope for my future, 714 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,360 Speaker 1: and I'm not afraid of it. I think for the 715 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,040 Speaker 1: most part, I already healed since I just unfriended him 716 00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:00,880 Speaker 1: on Facebook. Breakup is not always bad. Sometimes it's honestly 717 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,959 Speaker 1: a blessing, thank you for your advice half months ago. 718 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:07,760 Speaker 1: I don't know what that means, but I think what's 719 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,960 Speaker 1: always important is we should always love ourselves and make 720 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 1: ourselves happy before anyone else does. Self love is the 721 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 1: most important thing. Absolutely Amen to that, Abby. So on 722 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:24,320 Speaker 1: that note, no regrets, love yourself, be true to yourself. 723 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 1: I like that Forbes article, like stay in tune with 724 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,719 Speaker 1: what you need and and your values and live live. 725 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna flip this this week. Every time you make 726 00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,920 Speaker 1: mistake that you think you're going to regret, just remember 727 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:44,920 Speaker 1: to act casual. That's a good one. Ship damn by all.