WEBVTT - How to be courageous, with Jenny Wood 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:09.320 Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:14.200 This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.720 episode is going to be a longer one part of 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.040 the series where I interview fascinating people about how they 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:22.919 take their days from great to awesome and any advice 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:25.360 they have for the rest of us. Today, I am 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:28.560 delighted to welcome Jenny Wood to the show. Jenny is 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:30.800 a career expert and the author of the brand new 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:32.040 book Wild Courage. 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:33.640 So, Jenny, welcome to the show. 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.440 Thanks so much for having me. Laura excited to have 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:38.360 you here. So yeah, tell our listeners a little bit 0:00:38.400 --> 0:00:39.120 about yourself. 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.960 Well, I'm in Boulder, Colorado. I've got two kids who 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:46.159 are seven and nine. I spent eighteen years at Google, 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:49.280 growing from entry level to executive, and I recently left 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:51.800 to work on this book full time. It came out 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:54.840 not too long ago, hit the New York Times bestseller list, 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.720 which is so exciting, so awesome, and I have a 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.680 goal to spread insane amounts of Wild Care into the 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:02.840 world so that everybody can make their days go from 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:03.600 great to awesome. 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:08.080 Heay, well, then we're all about that there, So well, 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:11.000 what are the ways that you kind of burst onto 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:14.959 the scene a few years ago is a famous story 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:19.560 of how you met your husband that this went a 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.000 bit viral. Maybe you can tell our listeners about that. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:22.520 Yeah. 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:25.440 Well, it's twenty eleven and I'm riding the New York 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:27.600 City subway home from work when about twenty feet away 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:30.520 from me stands this really good looking guy, gorgeous blue eyes, 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:32.959 thick brown wavy hair. And even though I want to 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:35.039 go up and talk to him, something holds me back. 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:37.880 What if he's a convicted fella, what if he's married? 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:39.800 What if a hundred people stare at me on this 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:42.839 packed train? Well, I later came to realize that underneath 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:45.520 those questions were fears that hold so many people back, 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:47.520 because they're the same fears that held me back so 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.480 much in life. Fear of uncertainty, fear of failure, and 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:53.720 most importantly, fear of judgment of others. So I sit there, 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.080 I do nothing as the train passes stop after stop 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:58.880 after stop, and life passes me by. But I'm still 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:00.640 so taken by him. So and make a deal with 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:02.639 the universe. I say, if he gets off at my stop, 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:04.840 then I'll try to strike up a conversation with him, 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:07.400 and if not, then se LEVI. Well, he gets off 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:09.480 at the next stop, which was not my stop, and 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:12.880 I say, I like slump down in my chair so disappointed. 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:14.160 And then all of a sudden, this. 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:19.079 Wave of wild courage like washes over me and practically 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:22.200 pushes me out of my subway seat and off the train. 0:02:22.440 --> 0:02:24.880 So I chase after him, tap him on the shoulder. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:27.519 I say, excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you. You're 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:29.960 wearing gloves, so I can't tell if you're wearing a 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:32.440 wedding ring. But in the event that you're not married, 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:34.320 you were on my subway and I thought you were cute. 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:36.720 Any chance I could give you my business card? Then 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:39.200 I wait for what feels like forever, thinking this was 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:43.080 a terrible idea. But he takes the card, calls the 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:45.360 next day, asks me on a date a week later, 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:47.960 and then three years later we get married. We've now 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:52.000 been married eleven years happily. So wild courage, you know, 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:54.519 changed my life in that moment, and then I started 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:57.320 using it as a habit professionally throughout my days to 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:58.280 be more productive, etc. 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:00.600 Yeah, it is exciting. 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:03.480 I mean sometimes the things that we get inspired to 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:07.840 do just have I mean repercussions like you couldn't even imagine. 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:10.120 But what's interesting about the story. Of course you were 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.320 telling this story from the place where it worked. 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:15.280 Yeah, totally. And you talk a. 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:17.760 Little bit in your book about this, Right, we see 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:19.960 I think the phrases, we see everything differently in the 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.400 context of success. So let's talk about it because I 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.520 think it's very important for people to realize that and 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:25.720 how they're hearing stories. 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:27.200 Yeah, it's so. 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:29.480 Interesting you bring that up. It's like survivorship bias. Right, 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:31.160 so it's like, well it all worked out. Of course, 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:32.880 you can go out and tell people to have wild courage, 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:38.080 but the reality is like our failures fuel that success, right, 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:39.680 you know, if you want to double your success as 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.680 quadruple your failures. And wild Courage covers nine traits that 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:45.960 create the bars of an invisible cage that keep you small. 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.040 And I'm encouraging people to reclaim these nine traits. Those 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:54.960 nine traits are weird, selfish, shameless, obsessed, nosy, manipulative, brutal, reckless, 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:57.200 and bossy. And I think the move on that subway 0:03:57.360 --> 0:04:01.360 that day was reckless, right, reckless, redefine And my new 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.360 words is the courage to take intelligent risk, to err 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:06.160 on the side of action. Better to learn from your 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:09.440 mistakes than waste time predicting the consequences of every decision. 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.360 Think fast and fearless, and if you're on the fence, 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:13.480 do it. But you bring up the good point of like, Okay, 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:15.480 it worked out for you that day, but what about 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.039 what it doesn't. The reason I advocate for it anyway 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:21.560 is because those risks, those little mini risks, those moments 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:24.679 of recklessness, as I call it, help build the building 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:27.839 blocks of something great in the future, because it's it's 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:31.000 it's building that muscle to ask the uncomfortable question, to 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:32.760 ask your boss for a race, to ask the client 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.640 you know, for an upsell, to ask a friend in 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:37.400 a new city to go out to coffee. 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:38.720 I've had so. 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:41.760 Many failures, especially since leaving Google and being an entrepreneur. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:45.239 I had, you know, I wanted all these fellow authors 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.320 and influencers to support the book, and a lot of 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:51.039 them said yes. But I got so many ghosting responds 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:52.960 or so many non responses right, and I got one 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.960 from a really, really well known author that everybody would 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:58.880 know this person's name, that was not just a no 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.080 I'm not going to support it with my audience, but 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.240 a blatant this is the end of our friendship and 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:07.680 my mentorship with you, Jenny, because I don't think you know, 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:10.440 I'm offended that you asked, basically, and it was really 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:13.159 hard to stomach that rejection that like, flat out not 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.560 just rejection, I'm not going to support you know, the 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:17.760 book and with my audience, but just like and this 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.560 is the end of our relationship. And so that's a 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:23.839 perfect example of Yes. Sometimes you take that risk, you jump, 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:25.640 you run off the subway, you ask for the raise, 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.520 you ask for the client partnership, and you get told 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:32.200 to flat out no, But you still keep going because 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:34.640 there were the hundreds of people who said yes with 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:37.200 massive audience, you know, millions of people in their audience. 0:05:37.240 --> 0:05:40.080 And so if I hadn't had the boldness, the wild 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:41.840 courage to ask that person who happened to say no, 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:43.920 it means I wouldn't have had the same courage to ask. 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:45.560 The other people who did help me. And it's that 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:46.440 muscle that you just have. 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:48.320 To build over and over and over again. Even though 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.480 sometimes you are going to fail. You are going to 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:52.359 feel rejected, you are going to feel disappointed, you are 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:54.080 going to feel depressed, which I did feel all of 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:55.200 those things when that happened. 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:56.960 But it's the marker of a leader when you can 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:57.839 do that and keep going. 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.440 Yeah that you realize a lot of times the response 0:06:01.560 --> 0:06:04.920 eventually to this, you know, discouragement, rejection. 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:07.000 All that is like, oh well yeah. 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.719 I mean, if the guy on the subway had been like, yeah, dude, 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:12.279 not not doing it, you'd been like, Okay, next guy, 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:13.160 you know, move on. 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.400 That's the thing, is, like, of those three fears that 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.520 I help people push through with wild courage, fear of uncertainty, 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:20.880 fear of failure, fear of judgment of others, the one 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.560 that happens to plague me the most is fear of uncertainty. 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:25.960 So I would have rather run off the subway and 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:27.760 asked that guy and had him tell me a flat 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:30.880 out no, then leave an uncertainty the rest of my 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:32.960 life thinking what could have been. In fact, it's kind 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:34.600 of a win win if he said no, I'm married. 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:36.520 He gets to go home to his wife and kids 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:39.600 and be like, I still got it, honey, I tell you, 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:40.480 and I. 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:41.159 Have my answer. 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.599 It's like okay, no, no, nothing nothing venture, nothing lost. 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:47.080 So you bring up a really good point, Laura. 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:50.000 Yeah, yeah, No, I've always said that with like I 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:52.520 mean public speaking. I do a reasonable amount of it, 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:54.400 and at the beginning is like it's a little bit, 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.040 you know, nerve wracking to get up in front of people. 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.279 And then you do enough of it and you realize 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:04.000 some go great, some are fine, some go wrong, often 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:04.599 for things. 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:05.680 That have nothing to do with you. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.040 I mean they just announced like huge cost cutting right 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:09.440 before you got up on stage. 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:10.480 You know, it's a little. 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:12.880 Different than if like the boss is giving out iPads 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:14.840 right before you go on stage, Like the energy's a 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:16.720 little different now the has nothing to do with you. 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.680 And but you learn, oh well, you know that one bombed. 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:21.880 Oh well, you know, and think about how much you learn, 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:24.120 Like my entire business is keynote speaking now and I 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:27.400 completely understand what you're saying, And think about how much 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:29.560 you learn from the ones that don't go well, Like 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:31.600 I made a huge mistake and a keynote a couple 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:34.400 of weeks ago, and I asked for a confidence monitor 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:36.040 so I could see we slide was coming next, and 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:38.040 then they like reluctantly put it there. 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:39.680 But then I later found out. 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:41.600 Like that was a five hundred dollars cost to us, Jenny, 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:43.200 so we wish we had known about that ahead of time. 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:45.080 And I was like, oh my gosh, but like what 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.880 an amazing learning Like I wouldn't have even thought that 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.240 this would have been an incremental cost for them, And 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.840 I felt really foolish, and you know, it's disappointed and 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:55.680 maybe I was taking nosy too far. Nosey is the 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:58.920 courage to get in statiably curious to you know, dig deeper. 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.320 It's about how curious drowns out fear and pulls you 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:03.640 toward what most is exciting to you. So use it 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:05.360 as a compass, and it's all about like, yeah, don't 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.800 be scared to ask a question. I asked a question, Hey, 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.960 could you add a confidence monitor? But then sometimes without 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:13.680 even realizing it, realizing it, you can take these nine 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:15.560 traits too far, and I call those traite traps. And 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.360 in that case, I didn't think I was taking it 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:19.480 too far, but I later learned I had taken it 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:21.880 too far, and now I know to be more thoughtful about, 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:24.320 you know, the investment that the client is making, et cetera. 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.640 So sometimes we get caught in these tradite traps. Without 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:27.280 even knowing it. 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:29.560 Absolutely all right, Well, we're going to take a quick 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.080 ad break and then I will be back with more 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:40.360 from Jenny Wood. Well, I am back with Jenny Wood, 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:42.400 who is the author of the new book Wild Courage. 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.719 Has spent her career at Google and now off on 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:49.800 her own doing lots of speaking and writing and teaching 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.600 and things like that. So, Jenny, you have a phrase 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.400 for when people are going after goals that you want 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:59.000 them to remember, which is rock, chalk talk and walk. 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.360 I think I said that directly without tripping over it. 0:09:02.000 --> 0:09:02.280 Soday. 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:04.720 You can talk a little bit about what that means. 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:09.160 Yeah, absolutely, So rock chalk talk walk is goal setting 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:10.800 in a nutshell. It's about how do you have the 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.520 most productive hour in any day, right, or how do 0:09:13.520 --> 0:09:15.720 you have the most productive goals for a six month period? 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:18.679 So rock is what's the big thing you want to accomplish. 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:21.200 I set out to, you know, sell a lot of 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:24.040 books the week this book came out, So I said, 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.319 my big goal is to sell ten thousand US hardcover 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:28.960 copies of Wild Courage by pup week. That was my 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:31.520 rock and it was specific. It had a number in there, right, 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:33.480 and I had a date. So it wasn't wishy washy, 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:33.800 whether I. 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:34.480 Achieved it or not. 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.960 Chalk is I wrote it down so right here. Listeners 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:39.720 can't see this, but I'm showing up a little sticky 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:41.120 to Laura here. 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:42.080 But here we go. 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:43.920 It is just like it's on my monitor and it 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:46.160 says that what I just stated written down so I 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:46.959 could see it every day. 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:48.360 That's chalk write it down. 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:51.520 Talk is talk about it out loud, not in a 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:54.319 MANIFESTI kind of way, but in a very practical, say 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:56.120 it to people so they can help you kind of way. 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.360 A lot of people say, well, how do I tastefully 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:00.400 self promote at work? 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:00.600 Right? 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:02.000 Like, I don't want to share with my boss that 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:05.000 I increased, you know, customer satisfaction year a year by 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:06.120 by this percent. 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:07.080 I'm like, no, they. 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:08.959 Want to hear that, like they want to hear the 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.600 awesome things you're doing because they can help you. So 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:13.680 by talking about my goal out loud, people said, oh, 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:15.960 let me introduce you to this other person, or you know, 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:17.680 have you thought about this strategy? Have you thought about 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.440 bulk sales for companies? So that's talk and then walk 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:22.679 is what's it's walk the walk? What's the one thing 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:25.160 you can do today, in this hour of your time, 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:28.560 to be the most productive toward that goal. So, just 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.360 to give another example, let's say your goal is to 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.720 lose ten pounds. So maybe the walk is you're going 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:35.280 to replace the big dishes in your kitchen with smaller dishes. 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:37.880 And that's the one small step you can take to 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.680 move you toward that big rock. So that's rock, chalk, 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:41.640 talk and walk. 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:43.000 Excellent, excellent. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:48.520 And you also talk a lot about betting on yourself, 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.840 right that that part of being having this wild courage 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:54.000 is the idea that you know, we need to bet 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:55.840 on ourselves. I don't know if other people are going 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:57.480 to do it or not, but you know, we at 0:10:57.559 --> 0:11:00.400 least need to put that level of support for ourselves. 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:02.880 So somebody's listening to this in the car on the 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:07.200 way to work. It's Tuesday. How practically can they bet 0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:08.640 on themselves today? 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.679 Yeah? Well, I think when when you share bet I. 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:16.400 Forgot it'll be on Wednesday. But okay, it is Wednesday. 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:21.400 Yes, yeah, means whether it is Tuesday or Wednesday or Saturday. 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.800 You know, we think we hear betting on ourselves and 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:26.400 we think quit your job to be an entrepreneur. But 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:29.480 you can bet on yourself directly within your own team, 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:31.960 within your own organization, with your in your own company. 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.200 What might that look like? This comes out of the 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.240 shameless trait. Shameless is the courage to stand behind your 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:39.679 efforts and abilities. It's about finding your swagger. It goes 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:41.920 back to kind of how do you thoughtfully self promote 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:43.920 to your managers that you can get that raise, get 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:47.720 that promotion, and bet on yourself within your organization. So 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:50.760 try sending what I call a shameless Monday email. It 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.319 should take no more than fifteen minutes. It's four bullets, 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:56.679 two things you're proud of from last week and two 0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:59.520 things you're excited about this week. Four bullets, really. 0:11:59.320 --> 0:11:59.840 Short and sweet. 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:03.559 It's it's not a productivity report. It's simply sharing highlights. 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:06.160 Even better if you use numbers like I referenced before. 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:09.040 But it's just sharing you know what's been going on 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.160 in your world. As a Google exact Laura, I think 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:13.280 I only saw this about ten percent of the time, 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:16.400 but the people who did this always stood out as 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:17.480 rockstar performers. 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:18.880 I always knew what they were working on. 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:20.920 It was different than them bringing it to me in 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.440 our regular weekly one on one because this is something 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:25.840 that I, as their boss, could see my boss on 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:28.440 and then maybe that gets spread to other people and 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.360 it just shows that they're proactive. It shows that they're 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:33.840 you know, proud of what they've accomplished, and it gives 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:35.880 me an opportunity to give feedback if I need to. 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:37.160 And it's a. 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.880 Very effective tool to betting on yourself within your job, 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:42.880 within your team, so that your boss falls in love 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:44.240 with you absolutely. 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.280 And you actually suggest that people use that word proud, 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:48.800 Like you said, listen, two things you're proud of, but 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:50.959 you actually want people to say, I'm proud of this. 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.600 I mean, what's going on with that exactly? Well, it's 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:54.120 just so rare. 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:56.520 It's like we think that we have to underplay our 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:58.600 or downplay our efforts and our abilities. 0:12:58.559 --> 0:12:59.720 So that's why I call it shameless. 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.880 Right, what is the shame if you you know, did 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:06.360 this marketing launch for the ath leisure line of the Fall, Right, 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:09.640 what's the shame in saying our goal was seventy percent 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:12.360 adoption and we got to eighty percent customer adoption whatever 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.160 the metric is, Like, what is the shame in that? 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:18.360 Like literally using the words I'm so proud of how 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.960 this marketing launch went. I'm proud of this customer feedback. 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:23.480 Here's a screenshot of it. I'm proud of this testimonial 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:25.199 from a client, and we could do the same thing 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.839 for you, you know, if you're an entrepreneur. We just 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.120 hired a nanny recently and she does a bunch of 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:31.760 stuff around the house in addition to being a nanny. 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:36.160 She's amazing, and so in her email to us, she said, 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.640 you know, I love being with kids, I'm happy to 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.640 do grocery shopping, and I'm an exceptional cook. That's like 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:44.240 taking I'm proud and dialing it way up to eleven. 0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.840 And I have to say one of the reasons I 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.319 wanted to interview her was because she had the courage, 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:51.600 the wild courage to say in an email, I'm an 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:54.079 exceptional cook. I mean, of course you then got to 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:55.440 have the goods to back it up. And she is 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.880 a great cook. But like that really stands out and 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:01.040 tells me so much. She's confident, she's she is an 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:04.160 exceptional cook, and like, think how rare it is for 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.040 someone to say something like that. So whether it's I'm 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.000 proud or I'm really good at this, or these are 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:10.440 my three power assets, you know, the three strengths I have. 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.480 People oftentimes don't take time to identify what their three 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.679 are mine or people leadership, stakeholder influence and building things 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.360 from startup to scale, and whether I'm meeting my boss's 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:22.480 boss or a mentor or a new customer. Like, I 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:25.400 have those identified, I have them practiced, and I say 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.480 them and I say that I'm proud of them, because 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:30.200 that pride is contagious, and that positive energy is contagious. 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:32.680 People want to work with people who they're excited by 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:34.320 and like to partner with and who are positive. 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:38.000 Yeah, and you suggest that people actually do come up 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:40.400 with those power those three power statements and like work 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:40.680 them in. 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:42.440 I mean, there's all sorts of situations. 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:45.120 Where people like say, introduce yourself, or hey, you know, 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:46.720 I have somebody who want to be can you tell 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:48.280 them a little bit about what you do, and then 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:50.440 you launch into the three Exactly. 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:52.200 I was coaching someone yesterday. I do a lot of 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.040 executive coaching one on one in small groups, and I 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:59.360 was coaching someone yesterday on an interview and she was like, 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:01.040 but what if they don't ask me, you know, what 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:03.160 my strengths are I'm like, Oh, it doesn't matter what 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:04.600 they ask you. They could say, why do you want 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.840 this job? Boom, Well I want this job because I'm 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:08.160 really great at blah blah blah. 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.200 Okay, well what are you most excited about in this job? 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:10.880 Same thing? 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:13.680 You know, to be able to leverage my three power assets. 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:15.960 And I always encourage people to have two business skills 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.440 and one soft skill one people skill in there. Just 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:21.400 like your financial portfolio, your power assets make up your 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:23.760 power portfolio. And just like your financial portfolio is a 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:26.239 mix of stocks and bonds, you want your power portfolio 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:29.040 to be a mix of people skills and hard business skills. 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.520 So no matter what they ask you, a mentor a boss, 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:34.440 you know, an interviewer, you can always drop those three 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:36.320 strengths in. But it takes time to sit down and 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:37.360 identify what they are. 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.920 Yeah, and you don't like the phrase shameless plug or 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:41.800 shameless self. 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.520 We throw that around a lot. I mean, what because 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:46.520 we've identified that. 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.200 I guess the idea that talking about yourself is seen 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:50.000 as bad. 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:52.160 Yeah, No, I think it's I think it's such a 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:52.600 great thing. 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.120 By the way, it can really hurt you in your 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:58.480 career if you if you don't someone, you know, because 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:00.520 now that the book's doing well, and you know, people 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.520 come to me asking for help, which of course I'm 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.600 delighted to offer. Someone said, hey, i'd love to talk 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:07.600 to you about the publishing industry, you know, would you 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:09.600 have a conversation with me about agents? 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.240 And like that's it. 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:14.360 There were no numbers, there was no kind of like 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:16.600 anything promoting the great work this person had done. So 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:19.280 I just initially thought, if this is probably when I 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:20.880 can brush off, right. I'm human, I try to be 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:22.800