WEBVTT - Putting Yourself First with Jamie Lynn Sigler 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:02.239 Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea. 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:02.680 How are you. 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:05.080 Oh I'm good. I'm good. I'm just enjoying my new house. 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:08.000 I had an energy cleaner come to my house. 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:08.960 That's excellent. 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:10.080 Do they do a little samey? 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:12.760 Well, I wasn't there, which is how I prefer that 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:15.120 to go down. I was on the road this weekend 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:18.040 and they cleared my house of energy and she sent 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:21.720 me an email with all sorts of shit about my 0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:24.440 house and what energy was holding on too, and some 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:26.720 past life stuff. And I was like, oh, you know 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:28.560 how I feel about pause lives. I just can't get 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:31.640 my head around that. But I also spoke to a 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:35.120 numerologist that one of my makeup guys referred me to 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.520 because he told me a really fascinating story. He lost 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:41.000 his dog and this numerologist helped him actually find his Missishka, 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:42.159 like he led them to. 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:44.199 Him right, And I was like, oh, I'd like to 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:44.800 talk to that guy. 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:46.800 So I only did a half hour reading because I 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:48.760 don't have a lot of intention span for that. 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:50.720 Kind of stuff. But I'm interested. I'm just not like 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:51.000 you know. 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:55.320 But every psychic in every medium, and every numerologist or 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.320 astrologist that I have spoken to has told me that 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:01.080 my mother is with my dogs all that my dogs 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:02.040 all go to my mom. 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:05.520 And I had this reading like two weeks ago before. 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:10.240 Bernice was like going downhill and the neumerologists said Bert, 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:14.119 he goes Bert and Bernie and I was like Bert 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.319 and he goes is this Sesame Street? And I'm like, no, no, 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:19.320 those are my dogs, Burt and Bernice. Burt and Bernice 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.480 and he goes and Chunk and Tammy. Oh my gosh, 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:24.399 I said the four dogs names that I have had. 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:27.120 I mean, he didn't say Burt and Bernie's but this 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:29.720 was premonitionionary because he did say Burt and Bernie. He 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:33.520 goes Sesame Street or there's something about Oscar the Grouch 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:35.600 and then Burt and Bernie and I was like, oh, 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:38.040 those are my two dogs. But anyway, I had to 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:40.640 say goodbye to Bernice last week. Knowing that she was 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:44.040 going straight to see my mother made me just so happy. 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:46.760 Yes, well, and Larelin Jackson talks about that in her 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:49.600 book as well. There was one couple she did a 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:51.800 reading for who know people came through for, but like 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:54.640 all these pets and animals came through for, and even 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:57.080 like a bee, they have saved from the middle of 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:59.840 the road, and now I feel bad every time I 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:03.200 be like in a puddle and I pulled out, Oh oh. 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:03.520 Yeah, they're there. 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:05.400 I don't know if I have time to be pulling 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:07.560 bees out of puddles though story I mean, I do 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:09.480 have time, I just don't know that I'm going to 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:10.359 be spending it that way. 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:11.200 It's okay, it's okay. 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:13.600 Doug went to Doggy Daycaren and Whistler and she was like, 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.840 what do you want from this? She's like, this is 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:17.200 our first discovery session. 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.360 I was like what. I was like, discoveries, what do 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:23.320 you mean. I'm like, it's a dog, Like, just fucking 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:23.919 drain him. 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.640 Meanwhile, Doug doesn't listen to anything, so he's just like 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:28.640 all my other dogs. 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.639 He's so sweet. He is so beautiful, doesn't matter. He's 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:33.239 such a beautiful baby. 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:35.480 We got to Vegas yesterday. We're all in a hotel room. 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:37.440 There's like ten of us and we're all in a 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:39.640 hotel room and Doug gets up on the bed urinates 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.400 all over the bed in the hotel room in this 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:44.040 huge suite that they gave us, and then ten minutes 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:46.280 later he pisses all over the dining room floor and 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:49.000 it sounded like a horse was peeing. Like Everyone's like, 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:51.000 oh my god, is there a faucet on? And then 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:53.440 we all looked and saw Doug Pete twice back to back. 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:57.160 Oh no, oh, I thank you for this smarting that 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:58.000 we just ruined. 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:00.960 Oh no, well, I'll give it back to me the 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:03.040 next time I'm there. Yeah. 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:06.000 Well, Chelsea, I have just a sweet email from a listener. 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:09.359 This was in a follow up to our Jane Fonda episode. 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:12.080 She says, your Chelsea, I wanted to tell you how 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:15.040 much I enjoyed the last podcast with Jane Fonda. She's 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.120 such an icon and made such an impact on me 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:19.640 in my youth and now in my later adulthood and 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:22.360 everything in between. I was hooked on her from her 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:25.360 fitness videos in the eighties and on Golden Pond. Spoke 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:27.919 to me too as I had a hard father, then 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.840 Nine to five book Club, and of course Grace and Frankie. 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:33.240 As a fifty six year young woman, I look and 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:35.760 listen to her with awe and admiration. When she said 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:37.880 she closed up shop at eighty six, I felt that 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:41.920 I'm happily divorced, single with a situationship with the wisdom 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:44.720 that there are many roads to a good life. Really 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.880 and truly, thank you for the podcast, love listening. Bravo 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:50.120 to you all the best. Chrissy D in Chicago. 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:53.240 I love hearing about how many people lives have been 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:54.760 impacted by Jane Fonda. 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.360 Oh totally, totally, And I just love that she says 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:59.240 like there are many roads to a good life. So 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:00.800 much of the time I'm on the show, we talk 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.520 about like should I do this or that? And you know, 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.200 you say this a lot, but it's like when you 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:07.520 make the choice and you choose to go towards something 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.440 that's the right thing, and if it's not, you change. 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:14.000 Yeah, absolutely, and also just committing to your decision that 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:17.359 you're making. When life hands you a curveball, it's okay, 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:20.680 that's what life is, curveballs. Like, it doesn't have to 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:22.960 go the exact way you want everything to go. 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:24.919 In fact, if it does, then you're not really learning 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:25.799 much at all. 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:29.400 Right, it's right, exactly, So thanks for writing in, Chrissy. 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:31.080 What's going on, Chelsea. 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:33.600 Well, my two nieces are in college. My other one 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:37.360 is graduated, so I'm getting ready to see them soon. Fine, 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:39.279 actually invited two of them to I'll be on the 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:42.039 podcast to give gen Z advice to young listeners. 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:43.640 So this is a call to action. 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:47.560 Actually, my nieces Jordan and Charlie are coming on to 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:50.400 give advice because they're both great at it. They're both 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:54.279 super smart, and they're both very compassionate, and Jordan definitely 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.599 has a psychology brain. So I thought that would be 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.160 good to incorporate more family members into the podcast. So 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:03.880 if you're their age, my niece is nineteen and then 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:07.200 twenty five. So if you guys are, if you have 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.920 young kids or that age range, if you guys have questions, 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:12.680 please send them in and we'll curtail them to that 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:13.600 special episode. 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:16.400 Yeah, Or if you have questions about gen Zers right in. 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:18.800 If you want to understand gen Zers too, if you're 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:21.040 older and you need some intel for your own children 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:23.039 or whatever's happening, that's a good idea too. 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.080 But yes, definitely for our younger listeners. Yeah. 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.240 Our guest today has a new podcast called Messi that 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:33.120 she co hosts with Christina Applegate, and I think we're 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:34.920 ready to welcome her to the show, right, Chelsea. 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:38.239 Yeah, our guest today is Jamie Lynn Sigler. Hi, Jamie 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:40.440 Lynn Sigler, what's happening? 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:43.560 What's I'm so excited to talk to you. 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:45.159 Oh, it's so nice to see you. When was the 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:46.320 last time we saw each other? 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:48.400 Was it on your show? 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:50.239 I don't know was it. 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.800 It's like a very long time. It's been a very long. 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:56.120 Well you look exactly the same, so you well that's 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:58.359 not true, but thank you very much. I know you 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:01.400 have a new podcast with Christina Gate. It's called MESSI, 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:05.800 where you guys discuss your diagnoses, your lifestyle, well, I mean, 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:08.600 not your diagnosis, your life with MS. 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:10.440 So, yeah, and and other things. 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:12.960 Of course, of course it's not only about MS. 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:15.479 So tell me a little bit about reaching out and 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:17.840 you guys connecting and figuring out that you even wanted. 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:18.040 To do this. 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:21.240 Yeah, well we were, you know, we've kind of been 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:23.960 peripheral friends for a number of years, and then when 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:28.960 she was diagnosed, our mutual friend mister Lance Bass put 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:30.600 us in touch because I think, you know, she was 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.680 in the middle of filming dead to me and was 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.560 scared and confused and didn't know what this would mean 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:39.960 for her and me, being somebody that's lived with this 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:42.880 over two decades, he felt like I could help her 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:47.720 and it just morphed into this beautiful friendship. Like I 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.839 didn't realize how badly I needed to have somebody that 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.720 also was having my sane experience to talk to. I'd 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:58.560 never had that before. And we'd have these two hour 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.800 conversations where we'd be laughing and crying and getting really 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:05.480 intimate in ways that I had never done before. And 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:07.680 she called me one morning, like super early, and she 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:09.360 was like, I feel like we need to put these 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.000 conversations out. I think it'll be healing for the both 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:15.120 of us and for other people. And what we found 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:19.360 since is it's been really cool because as specific as 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:23.000 we're getting in our journeys and what we're dealing with 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:26.080 in our lives, it's kind of universal for everybody because 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:29.080 everybody's life is messy. Everybody has things that they push 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:32.200 through and have to everybody has hands that were dealt 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:35.440 that they wish they didn't have, And it's about basically 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.880 trying to learn how to accept that and move forward 0:07:38.920 --> 0:07:40.640 with it. And so we're kind of taking you on 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:41.600 that journey with us. 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:43.000 Yeah, I think that's very true. 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.000 I think that a lot of people things happen in 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.720 life all the time that completely changed the trajectory of 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:50.360 what you thought was going to happen, and how you 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:54.440 get around that psychologically, emotionally, physically, all of you know, 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:56.760 all of the requirements that are necessary for you to 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.840 soldier on. So tell me a little bit about your 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.960 your experience, because I know that you kind of kept 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.240 it hidden for a while your diagnosis, right. 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:05.800 I did. 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:09.440 I kept it hidden for almost sixteen years, and you know, 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:13.280 there's a lot of things that led me to become 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:16.520 public with it, the main one being I couldn't really 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:19.960 hide it anymore and I didn't want to lie, and 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:23.440 I didn't like the feelings of shame I was developing 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:24.800 around it, you know, because it. 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:25.400 Was a secret. 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:29.720 I was starting to feel guilty and embarrassed by it, 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:34.120 and I knew that I needed to just see, you know. 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:35.120 I was so fearful. 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:38.000 I was so fearful that people would only seems when 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:39.920 they looked at me that I would lose work. 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:42.080 That I just didn't know what it would mean for 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:42.440 my life. 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.040 Once I said it out loud, and ever since then, 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:48.720 it's been like eight years. It's been this really slow 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:52.280 process of acceptance for me, and I'm not quite there yet, 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:56.520 but I'm getting there, and it's just, you know, it 0:08:56.559 --> 0:08:58.839 affects my walking, It affects my gait. That's the way 0:08:58.880 --> 0:09:01.720 it affects me the most. And I've just in the 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:04.200 past two years finally started using a cane and a 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:06.920 walking stick when I need And that took a lot 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:08.760 for me to get there. It took a lot for 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:12.920 me to actually say I am disabled, I have a disability, 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:15.920 because I think for a long time maybe it meant 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:18.680 that I was losing the battle, that it meant that 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:22.360 I wasn't doing all the right things. And so, like 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:25.800 you said too, the emotional journey, though beyond the physical, 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:29.839 has been the greater one, and with that has come 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:31.439 a lot of amazing gifts. 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:33.720 I bet tell us about that. 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:37.960 Yeah, I used to be the most closed off person 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:38.600 in the world. 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:38.920 You know. 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.720 I came from an immigrant mother who was like, never 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:45.040 let them see you sweat, always put your lipstick, always 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:47.440 look perfect, never let them know that there's a problem 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:51.160 or you are a problem. And it's been a journey 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:54.200 of kind of undoing that, and in my vulnerability and 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:58.000 my forced vulnerability, because what I struggle with is on 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:00.960 the outside, so people mention it, people see it. It's 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.840 it's forced me to talk about it. I've had the 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:07.880 greatest connections with people. It's deepened all my relationships and 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.760 deepened my relationship with myself and my self worth and 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:14.760 my value as a human no matter what I'm doing 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.520 in my career or what my body, how my body 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:23.000 is moving. And I really know wholeheartedly that I would 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.839 not be who I am today without MS. As much 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:27.840 as it breaks my heart to struggle the way that 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:32.520 I do physically, I know it's part of my journey 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.200 and I'm grateful for it. 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:36.480 Yeah. Wow, well that's huge. 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:38.440 I mean, I think once you get to that place, 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:41.160 then you really are around the corner from acceptance, because 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:42.800 it sounds like you are an acceptance. 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:44.480 I hope so I am. 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.800 And it's really helped to talk about it, especially on 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.640 MESSI and what Christina's done for me, because we're in 0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:53.200 two really different places with this. You know, she's still 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:56.680 in the new phases and she's angry and she's she's 0:10:56.679 --> 0:10:59.640 in her grief. And not to say that I don't dip. 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:01.200 My toe in that every once in a while, of 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:02.240 course I do. I'm human. 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:05.000 But what she's really allowed me to do is sit 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.760 down sometimes and be like this sucks. 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.040 I hate this. I wish I didn't have it. 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.840 For so long I didn't allow myself to say that 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:17.680 I was afraid to and she's She's taught me the 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:21.760 beautiful balance of being able to express my emotions but 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:24.960 still press forward and have the gratitude that I have. 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:28.240 And can you educate us a little bit on how 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:31.360 MS presents differently for different people, or like what the 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:32.720 telltale signs are. 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:37.200 Like definitely, yeah, MS is very different for everybody, which 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:40.720 is I think kind of like the confusing part for people. 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:42.800 And it's why you have to be your own advocate 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:46.079 and speak onto like how it's affecting you and not 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.240 hold back when it comes to that. So, like I said, 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:52.040 for me, it's affected my gait and how I walk, 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:54.839 and in the beginning stages was my bladder. So when 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:57.760 I was working on Sopranos and I wasn't telling anybody, 0:11:57.760 --> 0:11:59.559 in the middle of a take, I'd be like, I'm sorry, sorry, 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.400 I gotta go because I was gonna pee my pants. 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:05.920 That is a very common symptom among women. 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:07.199 And why does that happen? 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:09.080 What is it doing to your bladder that it makes 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:12.120 you have to go, Like impulsively. 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:16.040 So there's so along all of our nerves is myolin. 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.120 It's like if you look at a cord that you're 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.640 going to plug in your lamp to the wall, there's 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:24.080 this thick coating around the wires, and so the myolin 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:28.080 is that for our nerves, and MS attacks the myolin, 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:31.000 so there's little holes that are poked or it can 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:35.200 damage it completely, so it weakens the signal and sometimes 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:37.600 with that weakened signal, it could cause a spasm. So 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.760 it can cause your bladder to start spasming, which then 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:42.800 your brain is confused like do we have to go, 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:43.600 do we have to pee? 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:44.920 Do we hold it? What do we do? 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.400 And then sometimes you just don't have the control. Unfortunately, 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:51.320 there's medications that can help that. There's a lot of 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:54.280 disease modifying drugs. But you know, for some it can 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:58.480 affect their speech, their hands, cognitively, it can affect their 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:03.440 energy levels. Luckily for me that's not the case. It's just, 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:05.880 like I said, my bladder and my walking, and it's 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:08.720 kind of been this like really slow burn for me 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.160 over the last twenty two years, for better or worse. 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.280 But I'm like, I'm a real stubborn fighter, and I 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:18.280 keep trying, and I work out as much as I can, 0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:20.600 and I push my body as hard as it can go, 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.640 because not only do I have dreams that I still 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:25.640 keep alive, but I have two little boys that I 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.160 really want to be as present for as I can. 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.439 But there's also the hard reality of my limitations when 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:32.760 it comes to being a mother. 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:37.400 And do those physical limitations Are they the same always? 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:39.800 Are they? Or does it? Is it sporadic? It's always 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:40.240 the same? 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.560 Yeah? For me, yes, yes, it's it's it's it. 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:46.240 And I think that that works for me because I 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:48.120 kind of know what I'm dealing with every day, and 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:52.320 especially when I work, it's easy for me to say, Okay, 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:54.439 here's what I can do, here's what I can't do, 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.000 here's what I need, here's what I don't need. 0:13:57.600 --> 0:13:59.720 It's allowed me to find my voice at work. 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:00.880 I bet. 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:03.400 I mean, I mean, if you said you were hiding 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.640 that right from your people you were working with for 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.640 so long, how did you I mean having to actually 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:12.400 a tell people like this is what's happening and then 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:14.959 be set boundaries up like Okay, I want you to 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:16.559 hire me, but now I have to give you four 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.320 reasons why you might look away and go, we're not 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:19.000 hiring her. 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:23.880 Yep, yep. I've dealt with all of it. I've dealt 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:24.960 with you know. 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.120 My last job, I got hired on just to be 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.920 like a recurring guest star, and then they kept me 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:32.960 on for two seasons as a regular, And so in 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:35.640 that experience, I was like, Oh, I'm not a burden. 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:39.320 This doesn't deter anybody. They hired me for my talent 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.800 and they worked around it, which was great. But at 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:46.680 the end of that experience, I felt really strongly that 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.480 the next thing I do, I just want to work 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:52.560 in this body, Like, why can't I just walk the 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.760 way I walk and play a character. It doesn't have 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.800 to all be about MS, because my whole life is 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:00.440 not about MS. But I've lost a role recently where 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.880 they felt like the male character wouldn't look very good 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:05.880 if he broke up with a girl that had a disability, 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:09.480 which I get. I'm not mad at, I understand. I 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:12.960 understand their ways of thinking, but also a lot of 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:15.440 my trepidations about coming out about it was because there's 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:18.720 nobody on camera that moves like me, unless it's like 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.960 very specifically, like they're the character that has a disability 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:25.040 and they're they're sympathetic or they're a villain, and I'm 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:27.760 just gonna do my part and hopefully try to change that. 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.600 Yeah, I like it. I like everything you're saying. 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:34.640 That's very powerful, and I'm and noted on the podcast 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:38.640 not only revolving around the disease, but revolving around your 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:42.200 real lives. Because in order to represent MS on TV, 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.440 or on podcasts or in media in any way, it 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:47.960 doesn't have to be addressed all the time. You just 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.720 have to have people who haven't who are acting like 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:53.320 regular people, because that's what you are, a person. 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:55.120 That's exactly right. 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:57.880 So talk to me about your marriage, because I know 0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.800 you had a divorce when you were very very young. 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:03.400 I was probably traumatic from what I gathered, correct, And 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:05.680 then you went on to meet this new guy, your 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:07.040 husband of how many years? 0:16:07.720 --> 0:16:11.320 Well, we've been together thirteen years, but we've been married. 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:14.040 Eight okay, and you have two boys with him m hm. 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.720 And so how did you go from a toxic relationship 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:22.160 to the healthy relationship because that's what our listeners all 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:23.080 want to know about. 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:24.160 Let's talk about it. 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:28.040 Well, my first marriage, so I've never really talked about 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:30.320 much so he was ten years older than me, and 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:31.800 then he became my manager. 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.480 As it was funny though, sorry to interrupt, but I will, 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.560 because isn't it funny that you can have a first 0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:40.840 marriage and almost forget that you were married all the time. 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:43.360 Think about that, like people are upset about breaking up 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:46.000 with people. It's like you might not even remember this 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:49.280 person fucking ten years from now or five years from now. 0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:51.400 There are people that I was in relationships with that 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:52.320 I've forgotten about. 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:54.000 It's so true. 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.760 I too, I forget all the time that I was married, 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:58.320 literally married to somebody. 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:02.400 Once, so something to remember people, Yes, that is very true. 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:03.040 Life goes on. 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:08.720 So after that, I had a series of three boyfriends 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:12.840 that were all lovely, and you know, my first husband 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:15.600 was like this kind of like showman like who turned 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:17.760 out to be a bit of a sociopath. And then 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:21.840 my next boyfriend was the opposite. He was like super quiet, reserved, 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:23.199 which is kind of what I needed. 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.120 And then I dated my. 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:28.000 Co starred Jerry Ferarra an Entourage for a little bit, 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:31.880 who was just like loving and supportive. Then I started 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.119 going through like a little bit of an athlete phase. 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.120 And then yes, I remember that but my end then 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.160 my husband was an athlete and he's eight years younger 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:43.480 than me, so when we were we weren't set up. 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:48.000 He was hanging out with my best friend's husband because 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:51.280 they were both baseball players, and I was in a 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.080 dry spell for a while and he was leaving for 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:56.920 spring training in a few weeks, and literally my girlfriends. 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:59.560