1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,440 Speaker 1: The Fred Show is on. It's stay or go all right, 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:08,159 Speaker 1: So let's welcome Michelle. Michelle's here. Hi, good morning, how 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,039 Speaker 1: are you Michelle? 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 2: Hi, it's been better. 5 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: Oh oh, Michelle has been better. So we're okay, all right, 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: So what's going on? So this is we like to 7 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: love people. They hit us up on the various platforms, 8 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,120 Speaker 1: you know whatever, Frediradio dot Com, Fredchick Radio on Instagram. 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: And you've got a little scenario in your life, something 10 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,319 Speaker 1: going on, you want to air it out here for 11 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: the thirteen listeners. So we've group therapy. We're all here. 12 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: We're on the couch together. It's one big, fake leather, 13 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: black couch and we're here. I bought it on Craigslist anyway, 14 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,599 Speaker 1: It's perfectly safe, I like, sooled it down. So what's 15 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: going on, Michelle? 16 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 3: Yes, I know I'm very much in need of a 17 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 3: group mind here. So I've been married for you know, 18 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 3: a long time, nineteen years and I love my husband 19 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 3: very much. But I was on vacation recently and got 20 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 3: pretty intoxicated and hooked up with someone. 21 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: Oh okay, wow, all right, so the end of story 22 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:24,199 Speaker 1: or yeah, I question nobody, nobody, Nobody is the question 23 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 1: was it was it worth it? 24 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 4: Was? 25 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,480 Speaker 1: It was worth it? But was it good in the moment? 26 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: Were you like, I'm glad I did that? I don't know. 27 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. 28 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 2: I was pretty drunk it was I guess it wasn't fine. 29 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,040 Speaker 2: But like I just now I'm in this like head 30 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 2: of despair because, like my husband, so I told him. 31 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 3: Everything, right, I told him everything, and we both want to, 32 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 3: you know, work through this. You know this speed. 33 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: Bumps, considerable speed bump. 34 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 2: But the problem is my husband is saying they should 35 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 2: be he should be Wow. 36 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:08,919 Speaker 1: Jesus, real, relax, you're run over there. 37 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, just his his way of thinking. It's funny. 38 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: So okay, first of all, I mean big, big props 39 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 1: and a lot of maturity here that you came clean 40 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: and that you guys are going to work through it. 41 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,959 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people listening now would be like, no, 42 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: that's it. I'm done. I don't want to hear the 43 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 1: rest of it, like that was irresponsible and and you 44 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: cheat had done me and you betrayed my trust. I'm 45 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: not trying to make it worse. I'm just saying this 46 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: is what I think people. Most people would say myself included. 47 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: I'd like to believe that if I were married and 48 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: in love and all this, that I would sit down 49 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: and like work through it and figure out a way 50 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: to stay together, which it sounds like you were doing. 51 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: But he truly that's his that's his caveat. It's like, 52 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 1: I'll stay with you, but I get one now too. 53 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like he says, it's like getting even. 54 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: Well, what do you think? I mean, Okay, so you 55 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: did that, so be it. You've admitted it, you came 56 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 1: and he said you were sorry, you want to work 57 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: through it, and so what do you think about his proposal? 58 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: What was your response? 59 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 2: I just can't, Like it makes me sick to think 60 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 2: about him with someone like I can't. I have a 61 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 2: really hard time wrapping my head around it. And I 62 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 2: just I realized that I did it, and but I 63 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 2: just can't. It kind of makes it just makes me. 64 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: Sick, you know, I mean, are you are you open 65 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: to this? Like if it's like, look, I'm going to 66 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,119 Speaker 1: do it and that's going to make me feel better 67 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 1: about it and then we move on like it never happened. 68 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: I mean, would you go for it or do you 69 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: think I just don't. 70 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 2: Know, like what if he like falls in love with 71 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 2: this person or it just seems like really risky, like 72 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 2: it's dangerous. 73 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: Wrong, It's no, it's it's dangerous. And also, Michelle, for 74 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 1: him to say that, it means that he gets to 75 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: be a little bit more thoughtful about you know, it's 76 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: like who has he been thinking about or something? Because 77 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: you you did that dumb thing while you were drunk, 78 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: doesn't make it right, but you weren't necessarily in your 79 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: right mind. We've all made dumbs when we're drinking. This 80 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: guy's saying, no, let me sit back and think about 81 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: this for a minute, and I get a bonus point here, 82 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: like I get to go do what I want. That's dangerous. 83 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like premeditated and intentional. And I just and 84 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 2: what if there's someone I don't know? It's like, is 85 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 2: this Is it possible to bounce back from this? 86 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,280 Speaker 3: Like if I for some reason and able. 87 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 5: To allow that is it? 88 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: Are we going to be okay? 89 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 6: Like? 90 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 2: Are two other people do this? 91 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: And I don't know what to do. To be clear, 92 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: I guess I should ask because people are texting. When 93 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: you say hook up, I mean by definition you mean 94 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: all the way you slept with this guy. 95 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, home run huh all right, wow, exactly right, Okay. 96 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: Grand slam okay eight five three five is how you 97 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: can call that? You can text the same number, by 98 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 1: the way, Fredschire Radio on Instagram all the other platforms 99 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:02,359 Speaker 1: as well. Okay, h So what are you inclined to say? 100 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 7: No? 101 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 1: I mean, but you can be honest. Is it like, no, 102 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,919 Speaker 1: I screwed up. That's bad enough. We're not We're not 103 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: going to exacerbate this. 104 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 2: I don't know, because then I'm just going to feel guilty. 105 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 2: The guilt is pretty all encompassing. So I think maybe 106 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 2: there could be some rules around it, but I don't 107 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 2: know how to do that, Like, oh, this can't be 108 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 2: somebody who you know. But then it's like, well, who, 109 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 2: how is it going to find? 110 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 4: Somebody he doesn't know? 111 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 5: And then what does that look like? Is he going 112 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:33,799 Speaker 5: to bars? 113 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 7: Yeah? 114 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: And I also don't like the fact that it's like 115 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: a token then he can hold over your head. 116 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 7: You know. 117 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: It's like I'm just going to hang on to this. 118 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna put this in the back in my 119 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: back pocket and the next time I go on a 120 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: you know, bachelor party or something, and get too drunk. Well, 121 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,799 Speaker 1: then I can do it and you can't say anything 122 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: about it. I feel like you either. My opinion is 123 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 1: that you either forgive and forget, and I don't know forget, 124 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: but you either forgive and move forward or you don't. 125 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 1: But I don't know about this. Okay, I'll let this slide. 126 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: Because I get a pass on another person. I think 127 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: it's always going to be looming over you in that way. 128 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: You know, it was mature for you guys to sit 129 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: down and talk about it. But and maybe I'm a hypocrite, 130 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: but it's like, I don't think two wrongs make a right. 131 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: So in Danita actually just just said the same thing 132 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 1: that I'm saying right now. But it's I think you either, 133 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: I don't think so I don't like it, Terriblandia. Okay, well, 134 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: I don't know. 135 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 3: Maybe he can live with that. 136 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,279 Speaker 2: Maybe we just yeah, say no and then he's he forgets, 137 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 2: you know, time passes, and maybe it just I don't know. 138 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,680 Speaker 5: How does it feel though? How does it feel you? You? 139 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 7: You make it sound like, oh, I feel so bad, 140 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 7: But how do you think he feels? You know what 141 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,919 Speaker 7: I'm saying that you cheated on him? Like you feel 142 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 7: like I don't know if he could do that. I 143 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 7: feel like that's that's punishment for you as well. But 144 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 7: is that gonna make him feel better to sleep? 145 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 5: No? 146 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 7: No, I don't think he's a sleep with anybody else. 147 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 7: I think I think you guys should both go your 148 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 7: separate ways. I think this marriage is over whatever, this 149 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,600 Speaker 7: relationship is over him. He thinks he could forget you, 150 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 7: think he could forgive you. I don't think so. He's 151 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 7: gonna have that in his mind for the rest of 152 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 7: his life and him getting even as he says he 153 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 7: would do, you would not forgive him for that either. 154 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 7: So I think your marriage I think this is you 155 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 7: guys should just go your separate ways. 156 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: Wow, okay, all right, Michelle, let me take some phone 157 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 1: calls on this and and see what people have to say. 158 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: Have your radio one, and thanks for calling and for listening, 159 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: and we wish you the best with this. 160 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 2: Thank you very much. 161 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: Hey Jay, How you doing, Jay? 162 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 5: Hey? 163 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 4: Pretty good? 164 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: Self fraid Jay? What are we gonna do here? Man? Like, 165 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 1: we're making decisions for the for this for this person, 166 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: because as you know, when you agree to come on, 167 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: stay or go, you have to do exactly what we 168 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: say in the end, so just and if you're just 169 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,360 Speaker 1: tuning in, this woman cheated on her husband and he 170 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: was like, so be it. But now I get a 171 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 1: free B two and she doesn't sound down for that. 172 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: I don't think that's the right strategy. What do you think. 173 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,040 Speaker 7: I think that this guy's gonna be out there in 174 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 7: the world with this in the back of his head 175 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 7: and regard so he gets her permission or not. 176 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: He's gonna act, oh, let her know or not, and 177 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: he's gonna say if he does, well, you did it to. 178 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 5: Me exactly exactly. 179 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: And you know what happened. Plantation was knocking on the door. 180 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: She opened it first, yep, So now he's going to 181 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: open it too. I don't think this is how it works, though, 182 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: But okay, thank you Jay, have a good day. 183 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 5: All right. 184 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: A lot of people think that Rufio's right about this. 185 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: I agree with you, so so Hovey cheats on you, 186 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 1: it's over. There's no due part. 187 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 8: One hundred percent that that to me is my boundary. 188 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,199 Speaker 8: I'm learning boundaries at each thirty one and that's a 189 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 8: huge boundary to me that you know. 190 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 5: You don't won't do that. But I see if I'm 191 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,719 Speaker 5: coming back and being like, well, I'm going to do 192 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 5: it now too. Then it's like we are both in 193 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 5: this like weird mentality. It's like this is over. 194 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: Yes, is over. 195 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 6: That's why you have to cheat responsibly. It's in the 196 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 6: freaking rules. 197 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: Ideo is he in the French shi constitution? 198 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 6: Why would you go home and tell him he was 199 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 6: never gonna say ignorance? 200 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 5: It's bliz, I will. 201 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: Say, I will say, And I know Calen disagrees with 202 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: me on this, but I've said this before. If you 203 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: cheat in a marriage and it's a one time thing, 204 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 1: and it's a drunk screw up, and it's your bad 205 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: and you and you really don't have other issues. You 206 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,079 Speaker 1: just made a mistake, you get to live with that. Yes. 207 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: I don't think you get to as necessarily assua as 208 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: your guilt by going and telling the other person so 209 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 1: that you can feel better about it. I think you 210 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,559 Speaker 1: have to live with that. Yes, take it to the grief. 211 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: It's true. If you're self aware and it was truly 212 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: a one time screw up, I don't know what the 213 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: what good it's gonna do. This is what happens. You 214 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 1: go home, you come clean, and then you you potentially 215 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:45,079 Speaker 1: ruin someone else's you know, trust, potentially their ability to 216 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 1: have a relationship with you or anybody else because you 217 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: screwed up. And yes, it might make you feel better 218 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 1: to come clean, but I don't know that I think 219 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: it's best for the other person, truly. 220 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 6: It's not. 221 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 5: I'm doing what's best for both of us. 222 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 1: I think you get to live with it now. If 223 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 1: it's a habit, you will thing in a full on relationship, 224 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: parallel relationship, and stuff will then get out. You know, 225 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: you deserve to get caught, you deserve to break up, 226 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: you deserve to lose the other person. But you make 227 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: a one time screw up. I don't know, I don't 228 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: know this is what happens. Hey, Samantha, Okay, hey, good morning. 229 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 1: What do you want to say? 230 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 9: Okay, so I'm kind of in the same situation, and 231 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 9: I when Rufio just said that, it kind of just 232 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 9: like it made me open my eyes. So say this, 233 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 9: so he. 234 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 4: Knows that she cheated. 235 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,840 Speaker 9: What if they make some type of not rule or 236 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 9: the stipulation there that he can't do the same thing 237 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,079 Speaker 9: back but not tell her about it, would that make 238 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 9: it anything. 239 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: Because then then that she's looming over her and him. 240 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 9: It's just what if he doesn't know, what if she 241 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 9: doesn't know? What if she doesn't find out, and he'll 242 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,600 Speaker 9: just feel like he got his locks back and it 243 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 9: can move on. 244 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 5: I don't know, and then he'll just continue to keep 245 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 5: doing it. You won't know you and I don't know 246 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 5: about that. 247 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: I think you either. 248 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 9: So you throw away that long of a relationship. So, Mike, 249 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:02,679 Speaker 9: did you hear? 250 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: Hold on? Hold on? Did you cheat, Samantha? Yes, okay, 251 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: you cheated? Does he is it? Are you married? 252 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 4: No? 253 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,439 Speaker 1: Okay? But did you tell your boyfriend? Did you tell 254 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 1: him boyfriend? 255 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 4: And yes, I did tell him? 256 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 1: And what was his reaction? 257 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 4: Uh? 258 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 9: Basically like where this is very like current. So basically 259 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 9: he doesn't know if we could ever get past it. 260 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,840 Speaker 9: But we're still here living together and this and not. 261 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 9: So it's like, I don't want to let it go, 262 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 9: but I know it was a mistake. But you throw 263 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 9: away eight years because of that? 264 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: No, I think you. Either he's either going to forgive 265 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: you or he's not. And I don't know about this 266 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: whole thing. 267 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 6: Kiky says, well, she's single anyway, eight years, they're not engaged, 268 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 6: they're not married. Hey, this is what happens, he needs 269 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 6: to upgrade to the premium package and put a ring 270 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,319 Speaker 6: on it, and then maybe No, I. 271 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: Don't know if i'd try that one. 272 00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 7: You're asking this question, is is it worth throwing away 273 00:11:59,440 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 7: eight years? 274 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 5: You did that when you cheated on your man. 275 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I know people to be forgiven, though, yes 276 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 1: they do forgiven people screw up. And again, I'm not 277 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 1: a cheater. I have never cheated. I'm not saying this 278 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: from the perspective of somebody who's a cheater, but I 279 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,080 Speaker 1: would I'd like to believe that if I marry someone, 280 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,319 Speaker 1: especially a guy like me who's not been environmenty relationships. 281 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,439 Speaker 1: I mean, if we get married and I'm I feel 282 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: that compelled to be with you, and you with me, 283 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,200 Speaker 1: and I hope it never happens to me, but I'd 284 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: like to believe i'd be the same way. Yes, I'd 285 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,439 Speaker 1: be pissed, Yes, i'd be hurt. Yes, i'd sulk. Yes, 286 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: i would probably say a lot of mean things and whatever, 287 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 1: and I'd go through my you know, my grieving process. 288 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: But I would like to believe, if it's truly a mistake, 289 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: that there's there's not this barter agreement, but that we 290 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,079 Speaker 1: talk about it at least, Samantha, good luck. I hope 291 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:50,319 Speaker 1: it works out. A lot of people are you too, 292 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: are and I look at you. You're obviously entitled to 293 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,319 Speaker 1: whatever Pauline and Rufiel you think. But that's a pretty 294 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: cutthroat to say. Somebody screws up and they're out. 295 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 8: I get what you're saying, but I also feel like, 296 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 8: back to kind of what you're mentioning, like, Okay, I'm sorry, Race, 297 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 8: I do this mistake right, this happened whatever, I'm sorry. 298 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,839 Speaker 8: I also have to be okay with you not being 299 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 8: like forgiving me to be okay with that. 300 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 7: It sucks. 301 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 5: This whole situation just sucks, and I feel bad for 302 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 5: everybody involved. 303 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,959 Speaker 8: But what I'm trying to say is like she has 304 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 8: to be okay with him walking away or not be 305 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 8: okay with it as well. 306 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 1: Joe, Joe has a solution. Hi, Joe, Oh boy, Joe, 307 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 1: go ahead, this is this is exactly what needs you 308 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 1: know what. I don't know why no one's come up 309 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 1: with this sooner. Joe, please tell us what we should do. 310 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 5: She needs to stay and offer him the deal and 311 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 5: offer him with. 312 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: Perfect That's exactly what needs to happen. 313 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 5: Here, always fixed. I'll have a baby. 314 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 1: When things are going poorly, I say, we have a 315 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,559 Speaker 1: threesome and we just we just toss everything up in 316 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 1: the air. And then somebody gets pregnant and we don't know, 317 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: we don't know from whom or anything, but like, let's. 318 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:52,719 Speaker 5: Just that'll do it. 319 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, boy, Joe. 320 00:13:55,480 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 5: Freaky, Joe perfect. It's perfect. It certainly can not gonna 321 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 5: get any better. 322 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: Joe, Thank you for that. Brow I appreciate. I can 323 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: always count on Joe. Call anytime. I love you. Joe. Hey, Lisa, Yeah, 324 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: hi Lisa. Okay, so good morning, and thanks for listening 325 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: for calling. If you're just tuning in. This woman had 326 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: a drunken cheat fast. I don't know if it was 327 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: a fast, but she got drunk, hooked up with another man, 328 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: slept with another man she's married, went home told her husband, 329 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,720 Speaker 1: and his solution is I get a freebie now. And 330 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,760 Speaker 1: she's not sure about that, and many of us in 331 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: this room aren't either. What do you think, I don't know. 332 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 4: I'm the one where I do the get back. So 333 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 4: if I got cheated on, I would do you think I 334 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 4: would be like, oh, okay, well I get one. 335 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 1: Too, And how does that make things better, is my question. 336 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: And I'm not criticizing you at all, like, so be it, 337 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,440 Speaker 1: but how does that improve your situation? Why not just 338 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 1: break up at that point? 339 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 4: Well, because if you've been with somebody for so long, 340 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 4: it's like it's hard to let go. So I feel like, 341 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 4: if I've been with you and I'm married with you 342 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 4: and you go and cheat on me, I'm gonna be hurt. 343 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 4: But I'm not going to stay with you unless I 344 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 4: do the same thing. So it's like, do I want 345 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 4: to throw this, you know, eight year, ten year marriage 346 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 4: down the drain, or I can just go out there, 347 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 4: get the act and then move forward after that. 348 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 1: Well, let me tell you what the problem is here. Okay, 349 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: So let's say it's it's me and you, Lisa, and 350 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: we're married and I cheat on you, and I'm like, 351 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry I cheated. I'm an awful human. Will 352 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: you forgive me? And you're like, in time, but I 353 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: get a freebie and it's marked the guy in the 354 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: cubicle next to me. That means you've been thinking about Mark. 355 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 5: Well, that's what that means. 356 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: You've been thinking about doing. 357 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 5: Much for you. 358 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: You knew right away that's bad. 359 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 4: Maybe maybe I get that too. I get that's because 360 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 4: I was in a situation with my boyfriend. 361 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 1: If you know right where to go to make it 362 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,920 Speaker 1: all better, then that's not good either. If you if 363 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: it doesn't take you five seconds to be oh, I'll 364 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 1: tell you what I know exactly. You know what, I 365 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: get a freebie and it's Dave. Oh not Dave. You know, Lisa, 366 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 1: So wait a minute, this happened to you though? 367 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 4: Oh so it kind of. It was so me and 368 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 4: my boyfriend, we've been together for six years, and in 369 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 4: the very beginning I didn't think of that me and him, 370 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 4: Like I just thought he was like some guy that 371 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 4: I was just gonna meet and like, you know, never 372 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 4: see again. Well, actually see here we are six years later. 373 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 4: And in the beginning I did cheat on him and 374 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 4: then but I didn't tell him. I like kept it 375 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 4: to myself. And then he it was like we were 376 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 4: like together for maybe like a month or two or whatever. 377 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: And then is it really cheating if you're together with 378 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: someone for a month and you is that cheating? I 379 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 1: guess if you have a conversation about ex civity is cheating? 380 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 1: But anyway, okay, so so you cheated you told him. 381 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,919 Speaker 4: I didn't tell him. You didn't tell him at first. 382 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,879 Speaker 4: So what happened was is that he ended up going 383 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 4: behind my back one day and he felt really guilty, 384 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 4: so he actually ended up coming clean to me and yeah, 385 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 4: and then that's when I was like, oh, okay, cool, 386 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,359 Speaker 4: well I did this and this, but this and this, 387 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,879 Speaker 4: and then he was like really pissed off. Annie. 388 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,439 Speaker 1: I don't know if you can do that. This is 389 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: all too complicated and it just involves too much. 390 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 4: But I think it's it's it's a little bit different 391 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 4: too because she's married, because I feel like, I'm what, 392 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 4: you're single until. 393 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 6: You have a ring, That's right, girl, tell Yeah. 394 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: I don't see the point. So at least I gotta go. 395 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 1: Had a good day, okay, and I appreciate you calling 396 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: in for sharing too. Okay, I really have to go, 397 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 1: but I'm sorry, I have to. I have to know 398 00:17:56,320 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: what Big dog zo Hey, big dog Zoe. 399 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, what's going on? 400 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: Big dog Zoe? Go ahead and finish this up with 401 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:06,399 Speaker 1: some wisdom if you would. 402 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,680 Speaker 4: You know, I. 403 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:12,520 Speaker 2: Honestly think that he's been cheating and he's just getting 404 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 2: trying to get caught and use the freehule pas. 405 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: Oh, so you're saying, it's like the Lisa thing just now, 406 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: where he already has one in the bag, like he's 407 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 1: already hanging on to something because he's already done it, 408 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: and so now it's like, oh, now now I don't 409 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 1: have to feel bad about it anymore. Is that what 410 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 1: you're saying. 411 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,119 Speaker 5: Yeah, basically what I'm saying, he just wants. 412 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,040 Speaker 2: To get caught and he's gonna use that pass. 413 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 5: You're on a free jail card. 414 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 1: Yep. 415 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 5: Huh. 416 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: Well if he well, he would have just come clean, 417 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,840 Speaker 1: if he already did it, he wouldn't ask for another 418 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: one unless it's ongoing. 419 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 5: No, now he uses this as an excuse. 420 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,400 Speaker 1: This, This is see, this is what I'm talking about. 421 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 1: This is ridiculous. Big dog Zoe, have a good day. 422 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 1: Thank you, appreciate you. 423 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 9: Man. 424 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. I I is this. You either stay together, 425 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 1: you break up? None of this uh for tat agreement stuff. 426 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,440 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like any of that. Do we agree? Yeah? 427 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 5: Real players never tail. 428 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: Eight five five five one three five show v Shelley 429 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: gets up next. Three hundred bucks is the prize? Real 430 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: players never tell put it in a constant baby. Maybe 431 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 1: we should add that as an addendum to the Cheap 432 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 1: Responsibly Think